The Four Seasons (2025) s01e01 Episode Script

1
[birds tweeting]
[frog croaking]
["Spring" from Vivaldi's
The Four Seasons playing]
[buzzing]
[inaudible chatter]
Bye, Mr. B. Have a good break.
You too.
Let's go. We said 3:10.
Yeah, sorry.
Two of my last-period kids get extra time.
Then they were trying
to teach me this cool handshake.
Yeah, no, I just…
-I really wanna get there before dark.
-Yeah.
Eight Munchkins?
Vacation has officially started.
[Kate] Text Danny and Claude.
[automated voice]
Texting Danny and Claude.
What would you like to say?
Rolling. ETA, 4:31.
Please be ready. No bullshit.
Okay. You said, "Rolling. ETA, 4:31.
Please be ready. No bullshit."
-Send it?
-Send.
You have a response from Danny.
-Should I read it?
-[Kate] Yes.
Danny says, "You are not
the fucking boss of me, Katherine."
"My husband and I will emerge only
when the magic hour light is perfect."
[Kate] Okay.
[upbeat music playing]
[doorbell warbles]
[honks horn]
Ciao!
Ciao, bella. Yes, thank you.
I'm so sorry, guys.
I wanted to water the plants.
I couldn't find the thing,
and then the dishwasher. Anyway…
-Hey. Hi, Claude.
-[Claude exhales loudly]
Take me in.
Really try to see
that I'm worth waiting for.
[Kate] Yes, stunning.
Tens across the board.
Now get in the car!
-[laughs]
-[Claude] Danny!
[Kate] Tell me when you're buckled.
Everybody buckled?
-[Jack] I'm buckled.
-[Danny] Let's go!
-[Jack] Buckled!
-[Kate] And she is on her way!
[upbeat music continues]
[Kate] Text Nick and Anne.
[automated voice] Texting Nick and Anne.
What would you like it to say?
We hit traffic leaving the city.
New ETA, 8:19.
-You might wanna go ahead and order food.
-No, I'm cooking.
-Tonight?
-Yeah.
I'm doing a low country boil.
I bought everything. Crawfish, corn.
[Kate] Crawfish? No, I think that word
is pronounced "pizza."
[Danny] Oh! Oh! We've got jokes.
Drive, Katherine.
[Kate] Twenty years I've been asking
Nick and Anne to put a light on this road.
I'm always worried
I'm gonna hit a deer or something.
This is right, though.
Their driveway is right up here.
[cell phone chimes]
[automated voice]
You have a message from Nick Pagano.
-Should I play it?
-Sure.
Nick said, "Drive carefully near the lake.
Lots of creatures in the road."
What?
Hey, put your brights on, honey.
-[screams]
-[tires screech]
-Oh my God!
-Crap!
Mamma mia.
[croaking]
[both laugh]
Oh my God!
What is wrong with you?
You're just so late. We started drinking.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I love you. I love you all.
-Come on. Let's go.
-[Kate] I'm gonna kill you!
I peed a little.
-[Kate] One of you is gonna die!
-[Danny] Oh, yeah.
[classical violin music playing]
[Danny grunts]
Whoo!
Nick, I need you to go through these
and pick out the dead ones.
[Nick] You are shitting me.
Nope, not at all.
[Nick groans]
Hey, should I do a gazpacho to start?
-No, we're starving.
-I'll kill you!
[blows raspberry]
[sniffs]
Hey, hey.
When is this dinner gonna be ready?
[Jack sighs]
Danny just set a cornbread timer
for 45 minutes.
No. No, I'm not gonna make it.
Between my hunger and Claude telling me
about a dream he had two years ago…
-I mean, you know I love Claude.
-Yeah, we all love Claude.
But you said you would be a little buffer.
Look, I will take him at dinner.
I mean, that's why I got him that really
long Napoleon biography for his birthday,
so I always have something
to talk to him about.
Very smart. That's why I love you.
-You're a smart person.
-Thank you.
Hey.
[softly] What are we whispering about?
How drunk are you right now?
I'm at the good part
where I think I'm at my funniest,
and you think
I'm starting to get a little annoying.
[exhales softly]
Yes, thank you.
Yeah. Oh!
Oh, God!
Thanks.
-You knew I'd eat that.
-[snickers]
-Here we go!
-Ta-da!
[all cheer]
[imitating Louis Armstrong] Here's your
crawdaddies from New Orleans.
Come on, now. Look at that.
-Oh, do you mind if I sit next to Claude?
-Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I'd love that. Thank you.
[Claude] Okay.
So, uh, Claude, how far have you gotten
in that Napoleon book?
Oh, well, he's just been born.
Wow, wow, wow.
Yes, get in there.
Now, remember,
just pull the heads off first and suck.
[Nick] That's perfect.
[lips smacking]
[adult contemporary music playing]
[Claude sucking loudly]
["Why You Wanna Hurt My Heart"
by The Neville Brothers playing]
Mm.
The suck water is spicy.
[all laugh]
-[Jack] All right.
-[cutlery clangs on glass]
Okay, I'd like to make a toast
to Nick and Anne on their 25th.
You guys are an inspiration.
You've built this beautiful life together,
and I hope you know how lucky you are.
So many other people have split up
or-- Or hate each other,
or they've become those couples
where their whole personality
is just making craft beer.
Ugh! Fuck. Fuck them.
[all chuckle]
Look, it is rare in this life
to find your soulmate,
and yet somehow,
all six of us have done it.
To Nick and Anne.
-Cheers.
-[Claude] To Nick and Anne. Cheers.
-Thank you.
-[Kate] So nicely said, honey.
Even though soulmates aren't a real thing.
Wait, how can you say that?
Of course soulmates are real.
You really believe there is one person,
for every person on Earth,
there's one person in the whole Earth
that they're supposed to be with,
and then that person also happens
to be in the same dorm at college?
So do you not love me?
I love you so much, but we're not lucky.
We're dedicated.
Romantic love fades.
-Jesus!
-And then you build something deeper.
Who invited the incel?
Love is the point of everything.
It defines us as human beings.
-Yeah.
-Yes, but also dolphins feel it.
Help me say this right,
because I know you agree with me.
[Danny] Okay, here's what I know.
When you're young and in love,
it's beyond your control.
You know, you can't help it.
You know, uh, think about all the people
in our twenties that we were in love with
who did not deserve us.
[Danny] But what we have now is a result
of knowledge and experience.
You know, we have chosen each other.
When Danny says it, it sounds lovely.
[Kate] Yeah.
But I also agree
that we're all just animals
who like to rub our crotches on things.
Exactly!
Exactly?!
[all laughing]
["Spring" from Vivaldi's
The Four Seasons playing]
[birds tweeting]
Hmm.
Like, this wouldn't work.
Hey, Kate.
Uh, could you give me a ride
into town, please?
I need to go to the farmacia.
-Oh, I can take you, Claude.
-Great!
Oh, I-- I was hoping
that Jack and I could go on a hike.
I'd like to hike.
Should we all go on a hike?
Not with this plantar fasciitis.
I wouldn't mind going into town, though.
I do have some stuff to pick up.
Do you two want to take my car?
I can't park that boat.
I cannot drive an automatic.
[water burbling]
-[Nick] Are you guys happy?
-[Jack] What do you mean?
Can you honestly say
that you are happy in your lives?
-Yeah.
-Every moment of every day.
What kind of question is that? Come on.
I'm leaving Anne.
-Wait, what?
-Oh, fuck. Nick.
What… Yeah… Sorry.
I thought you were just gearing up
to sell us some retirement package.
I'm not happy.
I haven't been for a long time.
Fuck. Man, I… I… I'm sorry.
It's time for me to take hold of my life.
What about Lila?
Lila's in college. The house is paid off.
Is there somebody else?
No, no, no, no. It's not like that.
It's… It's Anne.
[sighs] I hate her.
No, I don't. I don't.
She's a kind woman. She just…
She's given up.
She doesn't do anything.
She won't read any new books.
She won't go out on the boat.
I… I built her that pottery shed.
She hasn't made one thing.
All she wants to do
is play this farm game on her iPad.
I look over her shoulder some nights.
She's really high on the leaderboard.
Nick, does Anne know
you've been feeling this way?
Honestly, I think she'd be relieved.
-I think she's just as lonely as I am.
-[Danny] Really?
But doesn't everybody have periods
where they feel like,
"Oh, we're just roommates now"?
-Yeah.
-I wish. I wish we were like roommates.
Roommates hang out with each other.
There's porn about roommates!
We're… We're…
We're like coworkers
at a nuclear facility.
We sit in the same room all night
monitoring different screens.
Last night was the end of 25 years,
and that is enough.
I want a divorce.
I'm gonna tell her
as soon as this weekend is over.
So now that you have the studio,
what's the plan?
You gonna start selling stuff again?
You sound like Nick. He keeps being like,
"Get on Etsy. You've got to get on Etsy."
That's an amazing Nick impression,
by the way.
Well, that's what his soul sounds like.
Ooh, do my soul.
[growls]
Yep, that's it.
He acts like I abandoned
a career in ceramics.
But doesn't the world have enough bowls?
Okay, here's your blood thinner,
your statins,
and this is your vasodilator.
[Claude] Oh! Thank God you have it.
I forgot them in the city.
And this one is an ACE inhibitor
for blood pressure.
Look at these little sachets.
And they're locally made
by demented children.
By St. Demetrius Church.
Put on either pair of your glasses.
I'd like to buy 50 of these, please.
[Pharmacist] Now, have you
taken these before?
Oh, they're not for me.
They're for my husband.
[Jack] Okay, so you're just gonna
blow up your life and start over?
Yes.
I can't spend the next 40 years of my life
with a woman
who has to take a few practice steps
before she gets on an escalator.
She-- She's not the person
I married, guys.
I want to live.
Okay, yeah, well,
you know, when Kate and I…
We went through like a shitty patch
when the kids were young.
And we decided that we needed
to do something that was just for us.
So we took a yoga class together.
And at first, I hated it, right?
But then, you know, after a couple weeks,
Kate and I found each other again.
Anne would never do that.
Just go sleep with someone else, please.
Okay, here we go.
What would that fix?
You might just be looking
for something new physically.
And once you satisfy that,
you can appreciate
the wonderful partner you have at home.
Okay, we get it.
You and Claude are super evolved.
You don't know.
Maybe Anne wants to sleep
with other people.
She wants to sleep. I know that.
[laughs] Nick, listen.
Divorce is expensive.
Financially and emotionally.
-So just… [clicks tongue]
-Yeah. You really got to think it through.
You think I want this to be true?
I don't want to break up my family.
But I only have one life.
And life is short.
-Okay, listen…
-I thought you guys would support me.
We hear you.
You've said it out loud to us.
That must have been hard to do.
So, uh…
But I think you should
just take a day or two to sit on it
before, uh, going further.
[sighs]
I think there's
a Christmas ornament store around here.
Do you think we have time?
Why is Danny on a vasodilator?
[sighs]
Okay, you cannot tell him I told you.
He had been having dizzy spells,
then one day, chest pains.
So I called the ambulance.
-Oh, my God.
-They did all the tests on him.
I almost passed out in the waiting room
because all I had to eat
was this little bag of crackers.
-They were all smashed…
-Claude.
They said Danny has a 70% blockage.
They're gonna put a stent
into his heart next week.
I got this for Nick.
He's gonna love it.
[laughs] Oh, my God! That's so funny!
[Anne] I mean, what'll they think of next?
[Danny] I'm telling you, next year,
end of March, cherry blossoms.
-[Kate] DC?
-[Danny] No. Kyoto.
We can do something
other than get the Acela, I think.
[Kate] I like the Acela.
They give you an ample wine pour.
[all laugh]
The New York Times travel section
says that Poland is the new Portugal.
Should we take a summer trip to Warsaw?
-[Danny] What?
-[Claude] Come on.
No. If you want to take a trip to Poland,
just look at my face.
[all laugh]
I want to go someplace warm.
[Danny] Hey, I know
this South Asian island,
only half a mile wide.
There are no cars.
You got to bring your own drinking water,
but the beaches are pristine.
-I'm gonna Google it. You'll love it.
-Is that safe for us?
Shouldn't we be somewhere
with infrastructure and, like,
a hospital you don't have to swim to?
[Danny] Hospital?
Why can't we just be basic
and go to the Bahamas?
Yes!
Oh, yeah. I love the Bahamas.
Maybe we should book our tickets now
since we're all definitely going?
I think we can wait
until we get a little closer
and everybody knows
their work schedules and stuff.
Or we could book it now
and make our schedules work with it.
Well, we all know your summer's open.
You're a teacher.
Is your job really gonna say no to you?
I mean, you're the king of the hedge fund.
Oh my God. Wait.
Was the Bahamas where that guy was killed
when the monkey ripped his face off?
I don't know, Claude.
I just want to park it on a beach.
Speaking of beaches,
I have to go to Miami next week for work.
-Well, that's fun.
-[Danny] Yeah.
But next week you have that thing.
Oh, I've got to work,
so we've got to push that thing.
Hey! Who wants to go on the boat?
-Yes! Let's do it.
-[Jack] Oh, yes.
-[Danny] Come on.
-[Anne] You guys go ahead.
I'm gonna grab my blanket
and I'll watch you from here.
You're going, honey.
Ugh.
["Spring" from Vivaldi's
The Four Seasons playing]
-[Nick] We're out of gas.
-[Kate] Ha!
-[Nick] No, I'm kidding.
-[all laugh]
[Anne] That bit never gets old.
-[Kate] It never gets-- Never gets new.
-[Anne] I'll put my eye drops in.
[all laugh]
Did I mention that Nick is gonna drive
to the good bagel place
in Phoenicia tomorrow and get us bagels?
Yeah, well, or I could save two hours,
go to the bagel place in town.
No! That place is bad.
It's run by Protestants.
[Nick] Sweetheart, it's our anniversary.
If you want faraway bagels,
I'll get faraway bagels.
Oh, you're a good husband.
Yeah, he is.
I mean, we all are.
Because when it comes down to it,
you know, we're not scared
to do hard things for our spouses.
Are you drunk?
-[all laugh]
-No, no, no, no.
I was just telling these guys earlier
about how when we were going
through a hard time,
we took yoga classes together.
I have literally no memory of that.
Yeah, we took several yoga classes
together at the-- The Breath Factory.
No, I have never set foot
in The Breath Factory.
[Jack] Yes, you have. Yeah.
The place on Route 80 with the poster
of the nude woman in the window?
She's not nude. She's covered in sand.
[all laugh]
Well, come on, we went, like, five times.
We had that teacher
who wore a toe ring that upset you?
Are you sure you didn't go
with another woman?
Sounds like it was equally meaningful
for both of you.
Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna
fuck off and swim back to shore.
Oh, no! Come on!
Nope, nope. I'm too humiliated.
I'll see you at dinner.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
[all shouting]
-Oh! Oh! I have to go in after him!
-Your sweater's gonna drown you!
[Danny] What?
[Kate screams excitedly]
Oh my God!
I think I know where this is going.
-Come on, baby. Come on, let's go!
-No, no.
No, no, no, no! No, no, no!
No, your heart!
This is why I didn't want to tell you!
[Claude] Hey!
[Nick] Do it!
Fuck 'em.
[Kate squeals]
Okay, now I have to. It's okay.
Oh, gosh.
-Come on, Annie!
-Come on, Annie!
[Nick] Do it!
[all cheer]
-[Anne] I did it!
-[Nick] Look at that!
[Danny] You did it!
[excited chatter]
You did it!
["Spring" from Vivaldi's
The Four Seasons playing]
[Danny laughing]
Oh, man.
That was fun.
What?
[Danny] That was fun.
[Nick laughs]
[all whooping]
Oh.
How'd you do that?
Just put your foot on that bottom rung.
I can't reach it.
[Nick] Just lift it a little higher.
Let the… the water buoy you up, hon.
I can't.
Yes. Yes, you can. Just try harder.
Just throw me the life preserver
and drag me to shore.
-[Nick] I know you can do it.
-[Anne] I can't do it.
Please, just try!
I don't want to try!
Oh, madre di Dio.
[tender music playing]
[Claude grunts]
[Anne gasping]
[crickets chirruping]
[sighs]
Should we finally start Fargo,
or is it too late?
-I think I'm too tired.
-Oh, thank God. Me too.
[chuckles softly]
Happy anniversary.
Happy anniversary.
[gentle acoustic music playing]
[typing]
[computer buzzes]
[computer buzzes]
[typing continuous]
-[computer buzzes]
-[Claude sighs]
Fuck everybody, this is a fucking joke.
What's the matter, babe?
I'm trying to get on the portal
to change your appointment,
but it keeps saying
the password is wrong, see?
No, no, stop, stop.
I do "forgot your password," see?
Now it's asking me,
"What was your high school mascot?"
We don't have that in Italy.
-[snaps fingers]
-Ah, maybe Virgin Mary.
-[computer buzzes]
-No.
[cursing in Italian]
[Claude sighs]
Are you sure
that you cannot stay home next week?
They desperately need me in Miami.
I get it.
You understand?
-Mm-hmm.
-Come here.
[Jack sighs heavily]
Are you okay? You keep sighing.
Nick is gonna leave Anne.
What?
Why?
I mean, they seem fine.
He-- He just bought her that pottery shed.
Seems like he's been
thinking about this for a while.
Can't they just fight it out?
I don't know.
I… I don't even… I don't think he knows.
He's just doing it.
God, he's such an asshole.
It's so sad.
You know, I've been thinking, um,
I do remember those yoga classes
we took together.
No, you don't.
I want to.
[lighthearted music playing]
[uplifting music playing]
-[knocking on door]
-[Danny] Guys!
-One sec. Nope.
-Yeah. We're… We're in…
Hey.
Did you have sex in their house?
Who does that?
Whatever. I need you both
downstairs right now.
[indistinct chatter]
[Anne] And eventually,
you'll put one of these on each chair.
Okay, thank you.
Hi, guys.
What's going on out here?
Well, I sent Nick an hour away
to get bagels
because this
is my anniversary present to him.
A surprise vow renewal ceremony.
["Spring" from Vivaldi's
The Four Seasons playing]
Yeah.
I know.
[chuckles nervously]
[Anne] Oh, beautiful.
Uh, right by the entrance.
So, so pretty.
So, so pretty.
He's gonna freak out.
["Spring" from Vivaldi's
The Four Seasons continues playing]
[lilting piano music playing]
[rising string music playing]
[music turns uplifting]
[music ends]