The Magicians (2016) s05e02 Episode Script

The Wrath of the Time Bees

1 Previously, on "The Magicians" On Earth, barely any time has passed, while here, it's been 300 years.
High King Fen and Josh the Fresh Prince were overthrown 300 years ago.
The Dark King reigns.
Glory to his rule.
So, tell me, did you happen to bring any food with you? A monster rode you around for months while he murdered people, and then one of your closest friends died.
The surges are getting worse.
I'm just saying, this is the type of thing I should be using my magic to fix.
The apocalypse is happening, but you won't accept my help - because I'm a woman? - Quite right.
My name is Professor Adiyodi.
It's not a voice.
It's more like a signal.
I'm gonna take down my wards so you can show me.
Professor? This building, it's missing.
Do you know what kind of skills it would take to steal a building with level five wards? I miss him every day too.
No one gets to tell you how to grieve, Alice.
If you need to do something crazy to get through it do something crazy, okay? [DARK MUSIC.]
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY.]
[SHAKY BREATHING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[EERIE MUSIC.]
[GASPS.]
Quentin? Where am I? Where are my pants? If this is a dream which it seems like it's a dream shouldn't knowing it's a dream wake me up? Unless it's a lucid dream like that episode of "Voyager.
" Or I've been kidnapped by aliens who are trying to get secrets out of me, like that other episode of "Voyager.
" [SIGHS.]
- Something wrong? - No.
It's just, you sound like someone I used to know.
I feel like I'm supposed to be helping you with something.
Is that weird? No, it isn't weird at all.
You're right.
This is a crazy dream.
See, this belonged to my friend, and I can't read it.
But you can, and you're supposed to tell me what it says and then you'll wake up.
- What language is it in? - I was hoping you knew.
I've never seen it before.
What? Sorry.
If it was Elvish or Klingon This is a really weird dream.
Do you have a car? Can you take me to Taco Bell? [EERIE MUSIC.]
Where the hell is that portal tree? You are doing such a great job.
Will you promise me something? When this is all over we can still be friends? Meh.
No! [GASPING.]
Whoa.
[GURGLES.]
This isn't real.
Eliot! - Hey! [LAUGHS.]
- Hey.
How are you talking right now? I'm dead, not rude.
- Oh, you're a ghost.
- Am I? - Sorry.
- It's hard to be mad.
I was a terrible High King.
Or that's what a lot of people screamed at me, and a lot of strangers screaming at you - can't be wrong.
- Right.
Anyhoo, they hung me.
Fen out, bitches.
[LAUGHS.]
For what it's worth, I am sorry that I wasn't here to save you.
It's okay, really.
The last I heard, you were still possessed by The Monster.
And I figured if they did save you, you'd probably be off drinking.
Honestly, I was counting on Margo to save me.
Or Quentin or Alice or Penny or Julia or Dean Fogg, but I know the man I married.
Too well, it seems.
Oh, no, look at your sad face.
Don't be hard on yourself.
I'm already dead.
It's not like you can do some kind of magic to turn back time wait, unless can you? Eliot, if you can save me, you have to do it.
- The buzzards are coming soon - Wha To peck out my eyes! My poor dead eyes! - Okay, fine.
Jesus, ch chill.
- Oh, God! Oh, God! [SCREAMING.]
Eliot! [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC.]
Which one of you beefy twats built a magician-proof dungeon? All right, let's brute-force this mother.
[BRICKS RATTLING.]
Oh, my God.
"My friends, if you're reading this, "it's because I'm dead "or I escaped and forgot to get rid of this letter, "but probably the first one.
"R-I-P me.
[LAUGHS.]
"We knew something had gone right on your end "when magic came back stronger than ever, but then we didn't hear from you.
" - News from the Northern Marsh.
- What about our friends? Have any of the messenger bunnies returned? Not as of yet.
The rabbits believe the connection between our world and yours has been disturbed somehow.
They're refusing to come out of their burrows no matter how many cigarettes we offer them.
"Days turned into months with no word from anyone and no way for us to return to Earth.
" Her languorousness Abigail advises we send our armies to the Northern Marsh to investigate the reports of these creatures.
The locals call them The Takers.
Look, man, I may be drowning my sorrows in fried chicken, but I'm not an idiot.
We're in over our heads.
That's why we need to get a message to Margo.
"We spent so much time trying to get you back "that we didn't see the real problem right in front of us.
The people rose up against us.
" On the count of three, we charge.
- I don't have a weapon.
- You are the weapon! I'm just saying, you have two.
One, two, three, charge! [BOTH HOLLERING.]
"It did not go well for us.
" [SOMBER MUSIC.]
"Like a dope, I had done some renovations "and made the dungeon magician-proof.
"Oops.
"Margo, I hope it's you who finds this "And I hope you understand, I did it all for you.
" "Good-bye.
" Did your pig visitor tell you about the nature of this apocalyptic whatever-the-hell that's coming to kill us all? No, but magicians are blowing themselves up all over the place.
So many that civilians have caught on.
- I think - There's too much goddamn magic.
Yes, I know.
Some surges come and go and hardly anyone notices.
And sometimes it's a clusterfuck of catastrophe and death.
I'm trying to find a pattern.
Why some surges and not others.
Well, if you'd had a proper Brakebills education, you'd know the answer.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Circumstances, dear.
The phase of the moon, the nearest body of water.
You must factor them all into your casting.
Even us filthy hedges know about Circumstances.
Trick is, certain Circumstances make casting easier.
Others make them much more difficult.
Some of the surges must be lining up with particularly favorable Circumstances.
Is there any way to predict them so we can warn people in advance? I may know someone who can help you.
Professor Ex.
Wait, like the X-Men? No, she's my ex-lover.
I like calling her that because she hates it.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
She's a genius at metamath.
[ELECTRIC HUMMING.]
- Do you feel that? - Surge.
[EXPLOSION.]
[DISTANT SCREAMS.]
Damn it.
That was Professor Ex's classroom blowing up.
I picked a hell of a week to quit drinking.
[CROWD CLAMORING.]
I asked around.
Nobody knows who stole the Book Depository.
Did you ask David Copperfield? Yeah.
Oh.
But a job this big, somebody should have seen it.
[SIGHS.]
All right, look.
My brain is fried, so I either need to get some sleep or to fry it some more recreationally.
Well, club soda is as crazy as I get these days, so - Casual sex, then? - Good-night, Pete.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
Good-night, boss.
Your friend is like if cocaine was a person.
Well, it's a hedge bar.
That description fits half the people here.
Not you.
What am I? A Mossad assassin undercover as a lumberjack? [CHUCKLES.]
And you play bass in a J-pop hard metal cover band? Close.
K-pop.
Yu-jin.
Kady.
[GROANING.]
[GROANS.]
Oh, good morning.
Is it? Yeah, I know what you mean.
[LAUGHS.]
Haven't had a night like that in a while.
I'll just, um pants.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Uh, if you, uh wanna hang sometime or You know, I'm just gonna stop talking.
Yeah, I'll just, uh Um C-call me.
Finally getting that GED? Have some respect.
I'm a professor.
Oh, "Chapter Seven: Traveling Against Your Will.
" That sounds like a problem.
One of my students was hearing this signal, and when I listened to it, I just traveled.
No idea where, no idea why, and none of this can explain it.
So just don't listen to the signal again? - Wow, thank you.
- Shut up.
Except now I hear it all the time.
This here helps quiet it down a bit, but It's kind of terrifying to lose control of yourself like that.
Yeah.
Are you okay? You know, hangover remedies are kind of a specialty of mine.
I remember.
No judgment or anything, but I thought I'm sober.
Well, I was.
Almost a year, and here I am, and my head feels like it's gonna explode.
And if I remembered deciding to have that first drink I would tell you why I did it.
You're human.
Dust yourself off.
Maybe keep searching for leads on that vanishing Book Depository or whatever.
What? That library branch that got heisted.
You spent all day yesterday looking for it.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Are you sure you're just hungover? Did you get my tacos? I got one of everything they had.
- Whose house is this? - My mom's.
Where is she? She's at a sex she's camping.
This is a really long dream.
Mm-hmm.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- Hey.
- Oh, God.
- What? - Oh, hi.
Um, look, I need help with a metamath problem.
The professor who specializes in it at Brakebills blew herself up, so I figured, uh, next best thing, right? Yeah, you know, uh, now's not a good time.
My cousin's here from Canada and, well, he's Canadian.
So anyway, - I gotta go.
- Alice.
That's that's Quentin.
What the hell did you do? [LIGHT MUSIC.]
Hello.
[LAUGHS.]
Shit.
So what do you say? Wanna go back in time, save my friends, and unfuck history for old times' sake? If I change anything, it could undo every sacrifice we've all made to stop The Beast.
Why did you build a workshop full of time travel gadgets if you aren't willing to use them? The lesson that I've learned from a life of trying to change the past is, well, you almost always make things worse.
Speaking of, where is my little volunteer tomato? [LAUGHS.]
Volunteer, um Quentin, my dear.
He died saving me.
Saving everybody.
Stiff upper lip, eh? Positively British of you.
Someone's gotta keep it together.
Is that what you think you're doing? Back when Quentin first came to Fillory in the very first timeline, he was running from grief.
His best friend had died tragically.
Julia.
You.
A victim of your own vices.
I was worried that I was taking advantage of him, of his sorrow.
So the first change I made was to save you to see if he would still answer Fillory's call.
And he did.
And then he died 39 times.
[SIGHS.]
I had hoped this time would be different.
It still could be.
You saved him 39 times.
Why not 40? Because he won.
If you took away his sacrifice, you'd lose everything that it bought you: your life and the lives of everyone around you.
Same with your friends, Josh and was it Flen? It was not.
You have to let go of the past, Eliot.
Let the dead stay dead.
[SOMBER MUSIC.]
Time is a motherfucker, isn't it? [KETTLE WHISTLING.]
Ah, tea is ready.
Oh, shit.
[CRUNCHING.]
Why are you staring at me? Because Holy shit.
You look like somebody I know.
My friend Julia her grandma.
Yeah, okay, great.
Um, you know, I actually have to talk to Alice, so maybe you could go play with rocks or something.
So you built a golem out of living clay and used the book of Quentin's life to fill it with his memories? It's not so crazy.
And then you animated the whole thing with his essence? No, it's just a tiny grain of Q's soul that I pulled from the Underworld.
You wouldn't help me with a séance, and then you go and do this? Well, I I knew it was risky, but it worked.
But it didn't.
That is not the Quentin you knew.
That's how could you do something like this? I found this in Q's stuff at Brakebills.
What is this? I don't know.
It's in a language I've never seen before.
It could be a a letter or a diary or a project he was working on.
I thought maybe he left it for me to find.
So you built the version of Q that could read this for you.
Right, but He's 12, so he can't.
Get rid of it.
Put back the piece of Q's essence that you stole and let him be at rest.
It's not that simple.
The spell keeps the golem alive until he completes the task I brought him here to do.
So the spell can never be finished 'cause he can't read Q's letter.
This was so insanely selfish.
I can't sleep.
I can barely breathe.
I I needed to fix something, finish something for him.
Yeah, well, you fucked up.
Maybe if we can figure out how, we can fix it and you can put back the piece of Quentin's soul where it belongs.
[SIGHS.]
I'm glad you called.
Last night was a bit of a blur.
I was hoping for a second chance.
Kind of a blur for me too - Mm.
- Which is why I called.
See, I'm sober.
I don't remember drinking last night, but I've got gaps in my memory, and not just last night I can't remember things that happened days ago.
What are you saying? I want to know if you can explain.
Wait, you want to know if I drugged you? I left you my number.
I I showed up for a second date, which is big for me, since I am terrified of settling down.
Oh, maybe I took a chance on you because you remind me of my cousin, who I've been obsessed with since we were 13.
Yes, my first cousin, but our moms are twins.
So genetically my half-sister, which makes it worse.
Why am I saying all this? Because I "truthied" your drink.
You drugged me to see if I drugged you? You are insane.
But I swear, whatever happened to you, I didn't do it.
I I mean, I did some stuff to you.
O-on you.
I mean, with you! Th-the sex stuff! Because you asked, for the record.
God, fucking truth serums.
Wait, wait.
Kady, Kady.
Um I got to my building this morning, and I couldn't remember which apartment was mine.
I I thought, "Hey, crazy night.
" But it seems like if your memory was changed, so was mine.
I need to know why.
[WHEELS CLATTERING.]
If the beheading didn't kill Josh, the room service would have.
I'll take your complaint to the manager.
Eliot? Just in time.
The cell is Margo-proof, and when the Dark King gets back from his summer palace, I'm gonna be executed.
What's that? The contents of Jane Chatwin's garage, which we will use to take back our kingdom.
My kingdom.
But sure.
What is this? "Permanence," for men and women.
Ugh, God, could you ask first? Says this will protect us from timey-wimey-whatever.
So we can change the past and not erase ourselves in the future.
Clutch.
- What's that? - A smoker.
Beekeepers use them to calm down their hives.
So that's super applicable to our current situation.
Wait.
Josh would never shut up about the Royal Bees of Whitespire.
They make all the honey for the castle's kitchens.
And they're talking bees.
Okay, all you have to do is get the bees to deliver a message to Josh in the past and then smoke them out.
Huh, time bees.
[BEES BUZZING.]
Hello, there, bees.
Time bees activated.
I'm not sure it feels like we changed the past.
At least, not yet.
What are you doing? There used to be a letter in here.
Huh.
It's Fen's.
High King Fen here giving you an update on life in Castle Whitespire.
Babadook hats and open-toed shoes are the style this season.
Ooh, hey, Josh.
- Hey, get in my Insta story.
- Uh, no.
- There is no Insta on Fillory, Fen - But So this is - I have three bars.
- We're on a different planet.
That's not even po how do you have three bars? This is what phone is this? - The time bees.
- Oh, God, do you hear that? Well played, sister.
- Oh, they're saying something.
- Fen, I'm allergic to bees! Or maybe not.
- Oh, God! - Please help me! - Oh, God! Oh, God! - I'm being killed by so many bees! Did Josh say he was allergic? Right.
That's why Josh would never shut up about the bees.
Oops.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
I had a friend who used to do that.
Once he got to the end of his favorite book, he'd go back to the beginning again.
Endings are the worst part.
Characters grow up, they move on.
Some of them die.
- It feels like - Your best friend in the whole world's abandoned you.
- I've had this conversation before.
- So have I.
The therapist my mom sends me to says I have transition anxiety.
As if it's too much to ask that nothing ever change.
Well, your real friends won't abandon you.
That will never change.
My best friend will start dating skeevy guys who smoke and spit, and she'll forget I ever existed.
You're just gonna have to trust me on this one, but the "skeevy guys" thing? It's just a phase.
She needs you just as much as you need her.
Um, excuse me.
I tried to find a flaw in the casting, but I couldn't.
That's him.
It's Q.
The one I knew at that age.
But the spell I've been doing a lot of reading on Circumstances.
Not all of them are astrological.
- Some of them - Are inside you.
I think you did that spell perfectly.
Your brain might have asked for the version of Q that could his letter, but your internal Circumstances asked for something different.
Maybe you need to ask him a different question.
[APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS.]
- What's that? - [SIGHS.]
"A History of Fillory," from the Royal Library.
What does it say? "After the Fresh Prince was stung to death "by a swarm of honey-drunk assassins, High King Fen " My God, she listened to the bees.
"She sent an army of soldiers to hunt down the Dark King, "a massive manhunt that was viewed "as tyrannical overreach by the people of Fillory.
She was overthrown and executed.
" The Takers invaded, the Dark King still rose.
[BOOK THUDS.]
So that's it, then? I-in what conceivable universe is that it? I'm just saying, we're doing all of this to save a man you ostensibly love who died of a bee sting because you forgot he was allergic.
What is your fucking point? I was gone, you were alone and you hate being alone and so you grabbed the first dick that crossed your desk, and you're having a hard time letting go.
You think I should let go of our friends' lives? I think you have a textbook case of cock blindness.
You are Margo the Destroyer, not Margo the Pining Girlfriend.
[CHUCKLES.]
I'm gonna let your bullshit slide on account of you so recently being possessed by a homicidal monster But I'm not changing my plan.
Okay.
Okay.
Go for it.
Wait.
[LAUGHS.]
I recognize these.
[PAPER TEARS.]
The first time Jane came to Fillory by herself, she was homesick and missed her brothers.
A forest crone gave her these stamps.
Put them on a letter, address it whoever, wherever, whenever, and it gets to them.
This could be our chance.
I can just tell Josh how to fix things.
Find an envelope! Address it to "Josh Hoberman, Castle Whitespire, before he was killed by bees.
" "Dear Josh, hello from your friends "300 years in the future.
"The bad news is, we can't come back to get you.
"The good news: if you do exactly what I say, you won't be overthrown and executed.
" Uh, Fen, you're gonna want to see this! "Those reports you've been ignoring "about an invasion of creatures "in the Northern Marsh? Stop ignoring them.
Send an army, today.
" - I told you we should have.
- Just shush! Summon the guards! Everyone, we did it! We scared The Takers back to wherever the hell they came from.
Go us! "And somehow, when we fix the past " [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
"I hope we can see each other again.
Love, Margo.
" [LOUD CLANGS.]
The letter disappeared the moment I closed the mailbox.
It worked.
Josh and Fen did a banishment spell to scare off The Takers they thought.
Then the creatures came back and killed Josh and Fen and everyone in Whitespire.
Don't say anything.
[SOMBER MUSIC.]
Okay, it's working.
So how does a homemade psychic amplifier help if I'm not a psychic? Lowers the bar just enough for the two of you to be able to connect your minds.
We're both missing memories.
If we combine the ones we have, it might be enough to give us an answer.
Huh, so it's like, uh, memory VR.
- No.
- So you're sure about this? I'm sure I need to know what happened to me.
You? - Same.
- Don't touch.
Hands together, please.
So where should we start? Last night, the bar.
[SPEAKING GREEK.]
Your friend is like if cocaine was a person.
Well, it's a hedge bar.
That description fits half the people here.
Not you.
Oh, come on, this is totally memory VR.
- Shh.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
All right, now what? A Mossad assassin undercover as Now we watch.
And you play bass in a J-pop hard metal cover band? [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
I could look away.
You clearly already remember it.
I don't know.
No drugs slipped into our drinks, no head injuries.
[STAMMERS.]
Whatever happened to us, it seems like we both forgot.
[EERIE MUSIC.]
Whoa, what the hell? [BREATHING RAPIDLY.]
Stop! What are you doing? [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
Kady, I I know that looked bad.
What the hell was that? What, some kind of memory spell? I mean, it looked like it, but I don't know.
I don't remember.
Well, what the hell do you remember, then? - Why were you at the bar? - To drink.
T-to to meet a friend.
- Who? - A a hedge I know from my first safe house.
Show me.
That's my friend.
She's The woman that Pete left with.
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
What are you? What, some kind of Manchurian Candidate? A sleeper agent that gets activated to attack women in their bedrooms? This doesn't make any sense.
What's on the card? [TENSE MUSIC.]
I-I can't make it out.
Damn it.
I know what's on the card.
How? You put your phone number on it Whoa, K-Kady, wait So show me who you really are.
[GRUNTS.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
Someone sent you to erase my memory.
Who? I have no idea.
I never do.
I get a job, I do it, and when it's over, I make sure I don't remember.
You walk around having no idea what you do for a living? Why would I want that on my conscience? Because that's what a conscience is for, to keep you from doing fucked up shit.
The world is painful.
That's not gonna change.
So I use whatever crutch I have to to keep going.
The point is, you can take the shiv from my throat, because I can't rat out someone I don't remember.
Well, my friend's a psychic.
Why don't I have him root around and see what you do and don't remember? Then you don't leave me much choice, Kady.
Mortem.
[GRUNTS.]
No, no! Damn it! - Who sent who sent you? - [GROANING.]
Who [SIGHS.]
- [GASPS.]
- [GROANS.]
What the hell happened? I don't know.
He just self-destructed.
[SIGHS.]
He's gone.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Telling them to kill the Dark King was a bust.
Same with going after The Takers.
We need a new plan.
We only have two stamps left.
One stamp.
After your last letter to Josh, I had an idea.
I gave it a shot.
It didn't work, so one stamp.
And you didn't tell me? I'm not your subject.
- I'm your friend.
- Fine.
Then what would you tell Josh to do? Run to the nearest dive and drink himself to death? Yes.
I would run away, because you try to save your friends and they die anyway.
You can't stop The Takers, and you can't stop the Dark King.
And if we don't focus on getting you out, you're gonna get decapitated.
Fillory is fucked because it always is, and I don't get why you keep trying to fix something that wants to be broken.
It may be broken, but it's my home.
It hasn't been your home for 300 years.
You are right about one thing.
I have gone soft.
I've been telling myself that if I can just keep Josh from dying, somehow I can get him and my kingdom back.
But that's not possible, is it? What are you telling him? I told him he needs to stay here.
He can use the information from this history book to fight the Dark King and The Takers wherever they show up for the rest of his life.
I told him good-bye.
I'm not dreaming, am I? I ask because it's been, like, a full day, and if you sleep for that long, it's 'cause you're dead.
I had this friend who I loved very much And he died, and I didn't get to say good-bye.
And I honestly don't know how I'm gonna go on without him.
And he gave me this gift I can never repay.
What was the gift? His life.
He gave it up for mine.
I brought you here 'cause I wanted closure.
You know, I just I wanted to fix something or finish something for him.
[STAMMERS.]
But the letter I showed you, you couldn't read it, so You're skipping to the beginning of the book.
What? I can't help you because you don't want me to.
Because then your friend's story is over.
My dad says when I get sad about something that's gonna end I should just imagine this is the first page in a new book.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
The gift your friend gave you [SIGHS.]
It wasn't his life.
It was yours.
That story just started.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
What? I just shouldn't be surprised that, even at age 12, Quentin Coldwater is still the smartest person I know.
I'm feeling tired.
Really tired.
Hey, do you want to see a trick? Sure.
- That was cool.
- Yeah.
There's just one more thing I wanted to say.
I [WHISPERS.]
Good-bye, Quentin.
He's gone.
You okay? [SNIFFS.]
I'm sorry he couldn't give you the answer you wanted.
No, he did.
Maybe I can still help you with your problem.
My dad had a friend with a really rare discipline, predicting Circumstances.
They lost touch years ago, but she wrote this.
If anyone can find the pattern you're looking for, it'll be her.
Thanks.
I don't remember any of it.
The Book Depository, the mystery woman who apparently wiped my memory.
All I know is what you told me, which Isn't enough to do anything with.
Somebody's out there with enough power to steal a building, paranoid enough to send mind-wiping sleeper agent assassins after you It's not nothing.
Well, I need a drink.
Sorry.
Insensitive.
I'll show myself out.
How are you feeling? You know, I thought that if I took on more power and more responsibility that I'd want heroin less.
But the truth is, when I thought I'd relapsed, I wasn't disappointed.
Wasn't mad at myself.
I was relieved.
It gave me permission to relapse some more.
And trying to lead the hedges, it's only gonna get harder.
And I'm not sure I can do it without a crutch.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
Which maybe means I shouldn't do it at all.
No, don't.
You never quite get used to the smell of Fillorian plumbing, do you? Josh You're alive.
Thanks to you.
I got your letter.
Right.
The letter.
Did exactly what you said.
I went to the Clock Dwarf, brought him a ham sandwich, and told him to send me forward 300 years.
- Just you? - No, Fen came too.
And Tick, and Rafe, and a few guys from my bowling league I started a bowling league and a dozen other people.
Nobody cool wanted to stay in the past once they knew what was coming.
I can't believe it.
Look behind the stone.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
I hid it there before I left.
Margo, thank you.
May I present the government of High King Margo in exile.
Let's get out of here before we all get killed.
[FOREBODING MUSIC.]
[LID CREAKING.]
[DARK MUSIC.]

Previous EpisodeNext Episode