The Mayor (2017) s01e06 Episode Script
Will You Accept This Rose?
1 Women prefer talkers over listeners, right? [BOTH LAUGH.]
Hey, so I have a lawyerly question.
Uh-oh.
Are we on a date or a pro-bono meeting? Is it fun to say, "Objection, Your Honor"? - The funnest.
- See, I knew it! Maybe I should go to law school.
I love a good courtroom drama.
[LAUGHS.]
[CELLPHONES CHIME.]
Hey, are we on a text chain I don't know about, or do we both get the Sacramento Buzz news alerts? I gots to have my Buzz.
How else would I have learned that Assemblyman White's assistant scheduler just turned 32? You so want a Buzz birthday shout-out.
Is that too much to ask? "Sacramento Buzz Anonymous Tips.
Fort Grey Mayor total nerd.
" Send.
Ah, and the smear campaign begins.
[SHE CHUCKLES.]
I happen to be a very cool, very tough rapper.
Oh.
Well, when I Googled you, all I could find were two songs and several "404 Not Found" error messages.
I'll show you something to demonstrate my artistry.
Um Ah.
For Grey High School, senior year the prom-posal they still talk about.
Yo, Tina, you want to you want to go to the prom with me? Now watch me yuuuu, crank dat Soulja Boy Now watch me yuuuu, crank dat Soulja Boy Soulja Boy up in it, ohh You asked your date to the prom with Soulja Boy? These lyrics are not great to women.
Yeah, they're terrible, but look how good we are at the dance.
Now watch me yuuuu, crank dat Soulja Boy Now watch me yuuuu, crank dat Now, what, I'm bouncin' on my toes So, what do you think? You Maybe I'll hit you up in the a.
m.
"Maybe I'll hit you up in the a.
m.
"? What does that mean? Oh, she was into it.
She just had to check with her mom.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[RAP MUSIC PLAYS.]
And we pray for brother Marcus, who's about to start his new job.
Amen, brother Marcus.
And, sister Betty, we pray for you.
Sister Betty's about to have a root canal.
May God give you the good drugs, sister Betty.
[CHATTER.]
We also pray for our leaders.
May God give our leaders wisdom and humility.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
- Humility! - Oh! Mm.
Jesus didn't network his way into heaven, although He did have the ultimate hookup.
[CHATTER AND LAUGHTER.]
Have a good Sunday afternoon.
Everybody say amen.
ALL: Amen.
Amen! - [GOSPEL MUSIC PLAYS.]
- Sing, children.
Come on.
Jesus is my savior - Praise him, praise him - Sing, children! Jesus is my savior My bouquet of Roses.
Oh! Hey, Reverend.
I'm so sorry about the chatting.
That's all right.
I was having fun, but you were like a little Bill Clinton out there, you know.
[AS BILL CLINTON.]
"Hey, let me kiss your baby.
Come on over here.
Hillary's out in back.
" [LAUGHS.]
I actually came over here to talk to you, Dina.
Since Betty's having a root canal, - we could use another - Nope.
- Don't tell me you're busy.
- I'm busy.
- Dina.
- Reverend.
I happen to know - I happen to know a couple things mys - Guys.
You got to know, this banter is annoying to the people on the outside.
I want your Mama to join the choir.
She's got a syrupy voice you can pour on a pancake.
She does.
She sings all the time around the house.
I just thought it was a thing mamas do when they're trying to ignore you.
Okay, years ago in a moment of weakness aided by eggnog, I Oh, the Devil's drink, but I ain't mad at it.
I made the mistake of telling Reverend Loudmouth McChatty-Pants that singing was a dream of mine.
So, I bother her every now and again, but she's always too busy.
Busy with what? Oh! Oh, I get me.
- DINA: Mm.
- Oh, okay.
Well, Ma, now you have to do it.
And I can take care of myself.
Just text me the Netflix password.
Okay, you know what? You two are starting to raise my blood pressure on the Lord's day, so I will do it.
That's fantastic, Dina! Okay, we have the sewer guys at 10:30 - don't make faces.
- Why do they always smell? They're not in the pipes.
Moving on.
Then, Courtney is filming a PSA for Fort Grey Medical Center.
It's their 70th anniversary.
I mean, that's old, but I'm not wildly impressed.
Big Mama's older than that.
This weekend is their big gala.
Now, I know what you're thinking.
"Val, what a perfect place to meet a husband.
" - I went last year it's not.
- I wasn't thinking that.
Anyways, Courtney is scheduled to attend cocktail attire.
- Oh.
- Oh.
- Cream blazer - Black, single button - black tuxedo pant - pocket square - bolo tie - is that the same as a handkerchief? - Let's talk socks - Guys, wait.
Focus.
- Is this a miracle? - Should I take Amber to the gala? And back to one.
Dinner, dancing, debauchery.
It's prom for grown folks.
Hells yeah.
Amber'll love that.
She's top-shelf.
- Classy.
- You know what's not classy? Comparing a woman to expensive liquor.
What we mean is Courtney usually pursues girls of the not-girlfriend-material persuasion.
With all due respect, they ratchet.
COURTNEY: That's a generalization.
Look, I have met many wonderful music lovers at dimly lit after parties.
I don't need to know about your romantic history unless there's a "Carlos Danger" situation.
Carlos Danger? Well, he sounds awesome.
He is awesome if you like politicians who post pictures of their you-know-what on Twitter.
- I'm still in.
- COURTNEY: Is a gala too much too soon? We've only been on a couple of dates.
VAL: Yes! This is a work event, a place to make contacts and forge partnerships, and why am I trying here? Let me handle this.
Court, why can't we forge partnerships and heart-nerships, if you know what I mean? Good point.
I'm texting Amber now.
My guess, she's gonna drag it out.
Make you squirm.
Just remember, love isn't love unless it hurts a little.
[CELLPHONE CHIMES.]
She said yes.
Wow, that was fast.
Little desperate.
- My man.
- Fall in love She was a vision in high school, and she's a vision now.
O-M-God.
And the high will be 78, but don't rush outside just yet.
The air quality's poor.
Bummer! [CHUCKLES.]
Back to you, Mark.
MARK: Thank you so much for that, Danielle.
Damn, she's still got it.
Do you think she remembers us? Man, how can she remember us if she didn't know our names before? I don't know.
Courtney was high-key obsessed with her freshman year.
I wrote poems and put 'em in her locker.
Her boyfriend kicked my ass, but that was before my growth spurt.
- [BUZZER.]
- Okay, that's a wrap! Mayor Rose, we're ready to shoot that PSA.
- Okay.
- DANIELLE: Courtney.
Courtney Rose? Hi! [CHUCKLES.]
I mean, h-hello.
Hi, uh, good afternoon.
- Hi, uh - [CHUCKLES.]
- Shalom.
- Oh, my God.
It's been so long.
Yeah.
Wait, can I call you Courtney, or should it be Mayor Rose? Uh, h-he's amenable to either.
But you can call me Jermaine.
[LAUGHS.]
Anyway, I'm so happy you could do this PSA for us.
I'm on the board for the anniversary gala, - and community health is my jam.
- Mine, too! I love, like, green smoothies, amino acids - Broccoli.
- [CHUCKLES.]
So, you're coming to the gala, right? It's not open bar, but I'm on the board and I get like 12 drink tickets.
[SCOFFS.]
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- Who says that? [CHUCKLES.]
I do.
[CHUCKLES.]
Whoa.
You smell good.
I shower.
Every day.
- What?! - I can't believe it! - Oh, my God, what?! - [INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
- Whoa! - Oh, my God! - [SHOUTING CONTINUES.]
- Yello? 911, this is an emergency.
What just happened?! What just happened is Danielle Jackson is sweating Courtney Rose.
- But why? How? - You got that Mayor heat.
Yeah, but I was a rapper before.
That's way cooler.
Not if you like income, status, and respectability.
Mayor heat, baby.
Women are drawn to it Danielle, Amber, That FedEx lady who made you sign for that package.
She knew what she was doing.
Wait.
I asked Amber to the Gala.
- You got to cancel that.
- No, you can't cancel.
She's a lawyer.
She could sue you.
But I like Amber.
She's cool.
Okay, this is one of those terrible choices between what is clearly right and Danielle.
Hmm.
Hold up.
Remember Val said, "Do not bring a date to a work event"? - Val did say that.
She was very opposed.
- Right.
Now, if there's a girl that's already there, that's one thing.
But bringing a girl is downright irresponsible, and I'll say it emotionally abusive.
Nope, Jermaine's right.
I'm gonna text Amber and tell her it's more of a work thing.
Which is true, on account of a technicality that serves our purposes.
- Mm, exactly.
- She said, "No biggie, ttyl.
" - You did the right thing, dawg.
- Mm-hmm.
- Now, let's go buy some condoms.
- [ENGINE STARTS.]
What? What? Am I the only guy that goes there? - [CELLPHONE RINGS.]
- Come on, do what you feel - What you feel - 707? Courtney, are you kidnapped? If you are, say, "I'm fine.
" REVEREND OKOYE: Dina, I was talking to the Lord today, and your name came up.
Now, I'll cut out the stuff that's not pertinent, but to sum it up, he's angry at you for not being at choir practice right now, Dina.
I am so sorry, - but, uh, I had another commitment.
- Right now? [DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
Yes, I'm, um, I-I'm volunteering at an animal shelter.
Maybe next time, bye! [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
[BARKING CONTINUES.]
H-Here, boy.
[BARKING STOPS.]
That's basically volunteering.
The way you move your eyes So it took me by surprise Mr.
Mayor, can I get your picture for the hospital newsletter? Oh, yeah! Yeah, sure.
- Photo bomb! - Whoa! - [LAUGHS.]
- Okay.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Hey.
- I'm sorry, did I scare you? Oh, no, no, no.
No, I actually I-I like to be bombed in photos.
- Not an alcoholic.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Okay.
Wow, you you clean up nice.
You're not too bad yourself.
B, B-plus.
Is there any chance for some extra credit? - [BOTH LAUGH.]
- Magic, magic Magic, magic Magic, magic, magic, magic They say it's prosciutto wrapped in asparagus, but I think it's just ham on a green bean.
[LAUGHS.]
Want one? - Hey, Ma.
- Hey, baby.
How was the, uh, gala? Looks pretty fun.
What are you talking about? Okay, yeah, that's not gonna become a thing.
No one reads the papers.
No, they just look at the pictures.
[CELLPHONE BUZZES.]
- Oh, no.
- It's like I'm living with The Bachelor.
Hey, you've reached Amber.
You know what to do.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS, DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CREAKS.]
Can you believe this? Great.
One for reading and one for framing.
This paper invaded my privacy.
You're the mayor.
You're a public figure.
You were at a public event.
Yes, but this picture is causing me private problems.
I text Amber five times, she sent this.
- Can you really blame her? - Yes! I canceled out of respect.
I'm the victim here! Of America's tabloid mentality.
I feel like I'm in the male brain right now, and I don't like it.
Look, Courtney, you're gonna have to be more mindful about your personal life.
The image that we project it could affect your career and your agenda.
First of all, "we" are not projecting any image.
Second, I am a young, single man.
I'm dating.
Cory Booker dates.
Does he have someone give him a lecture every time he goes out? Definitely.
He has a whole team for that.
I'm sympathetic, but Mayor dating is different.
Two days ago, you were out with Amber, and now you're out with Danielle.
The optics aren't great.
It's not like that.
This thing with Danielle is happening for a reason.
This is the girl who I loved since I was 14, who I used to lie awake at night on my bed Okay, I-I-I You can stop.
I get it.
Just think with this.
Not this.
Reverend.
- Hi, Dina.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Great news.
- Hey, Reverend.
Nice to see you as always.
- What are you doing? - You missed another choir practice, and since it's obviously very difficult for you to make it to practice, today, practice is coming to you, Dina Rose.
[KEYBOARD PLAYS.]
On the beat, any time you want.
I can do this all night.
I feel like you can.
Lord, the acoustics are really good in here.
And she didn't RSVP to the shower? Well, then you do not invite her to the wedding, girl.
All right, holla at ya boy.
That started as a constituent complaint, and then we had a lot to unpack.
Guys, where's Courtney? I need him to sign this.
JERMAINE: Sorry, Val.
Courtney's forecast tonight is Danielle with a chance of Danielle.
- Okay? - He realizes that being a mayor is a full-time commitment, right? If he doesn't, be honest.
Oh, I see what's going on here.
You're jealous.
- What? No, please.
- He's right, and I know why.
Mm-hmm.
You've never been on a date.
Don't worry, Val.
We got you.
We're gonna give you a movie-style makeover up your confidence.
You're the nerdy girl that takes her glasses off and then boom! Whole school sees you for the first time.
- I don't wear glasses.
- You don't? Really? Okay, well, then, we can take your hair out that tight little bun thing that you do.
My hair is always down.
Guys.
Ugh! This is gonna be so hard.
Guys, I've been on a date! I've been on dates.
Lots of them.
If you must know, I was married.
- What? - What? I was married, and then I wasn't.
He died? No, I'm divorced.
Well, give us the tea, sis.
Please, begin at the beginning.
[KEYBOARD PLAYING.]
- [POUNDING ON CEILING.]
- MAN: Turn it down! Is it God's will to get me evicted, Reverend? [KEYBOARD PLAYING.]
[KEYBOARD STOPS.]
Dina, why are you avoiding choir practice? I know you love to sing.
I told you, I'm busy.
With your dog-rescue work? I gave that dog a sandwich.
- What's holding you back? - Maybe I'm scared.
I have a theory, if you don't mind.
- I do mind.
- My theory is Dina Rose is not afraid of choir practice.
I think she's nervous 'cause she's about to embark on a new chapter in her life.
And for a woman who spent so many years being a fantastic mom, thinking of herself it isn't easy.
Well, it's not the worst theory in the world.
And I do like that it's flattering.
Dina, this next chapter is all about you.
Singing That's just the beginning.
The world is your oyster.
You know, you had me 'til "oyster," but I'm really a fish-and-chips kind of girl.
COURTNEY: Cheers to a fun date.
Hey - DANIELLE: Date? - Date.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
After the gala, I figured we could use a little privacy.
That's so sweet.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Oh.
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Um Uh, so, uh, what got you into meteorology? Were you one of those kids that stared into the clouds? Ha.
No way.
It's probably the same thing that got you into politics.
Getting out of here? So, you don't want to stay in Fort Grey? No longer than I have to.
I mean, this place is ultimately a stepping stone, right? You're talented, you've got a good story.
What's your next move? Um, I, um, I don't know.
Well, I just have to use the bathroom, so I'll be right back.
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[CELLPHONE CLICKS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
So, "#MayorDating"? - Oh, you saw it? - Mm-hmm.
Well, did you like it? Not yet, because I'm on the date that you took a picture of and posted online.
It's good for both of us.
I mean, it's kind of why we're here, right? It wasn't why I was here.
I'm here because I am an idiot.
- I can take the picture down if you want.
- No, no, no, no.
It's okay.
I don't want you to miss out on all your likes.
Have a good night.
Hey, did he leave enough for me to get a dessert? We were co-captains of the speech-and-debate team in college, and we fell in love.
I mean, you get it.
It's point-counterpoint.
We got married right after graduation.
I guess that's what they mean when they say May-December.
That's not what that means.
It was a shotgun wedding because she was pregnant.
Also, not that.
How come we're just hearing about this? My parents were divorced, and, well, I always said that that would never happen to me, and so, I used to be embarrassed about it.
You shouldn't be embarrassed, unless you cheated and you were on that show "Cheaters.
" It happened to my cousin.
They do not take that footage down.
No one cheated, okay? We were just young, and we grew up and we grew apart.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't worry.
I'm I'm fine.
No, no, I mean I'm sorry because I always thought you were, like, a work robot.
Yeah.
I guess I never really thought of you as a person who had, like, experiences and stuff.
Well, thank you guys for seeing me as a human person, and know it means a lot.
So what happened to the baby? There wasn't a baby.
- VAL: Courtney.
- Huh? Everything okay? I thought that you were out with, uh Danielle? I was.
Turns out she was only feeling Mayor Rose, not Courtney Rose.
- Listen, I - I know, I know.
Mayor dating is different.
You warned me.
No, I mean yes, I-I did, but I-I was just gonna say don't worry.
You know, we've all had bad dates.
It was bad.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- We have nothing in common.
I don't get it.
In high school, she was my dream girl.
It's crazy how what we wanted when we were 17 isn't what we want now.
I mean, I used to think that I needed to be with someone exactly like me, but, you know, now I realize he doesn't have to subscribe to the Times, the Post, and the Journal.
You know, he could just subscribe to the Times.
And the Post.
I mean, if you're gonna do two, just complete the tri-fecta, right? Or the Sacramento Buzz.
What? That's, like, not even in the top five.
This was really helpful.
Thanks.
And now I'm alone again.
Sunshine Oh, my God.
Ohhhhh Soulja Boy up in it, ohh! Watch me crank it, watch me roll Watch me crack dat Soulja Boy then Superman that oh! Now watch me yuuuu, crank dat Soulja Boy Now watch me yuuuu, crank dat Soulja Boy Now Soulja Boy up in it, ohh Watch me crank it, watch me roll Watch me crack dat Soulja Boy then Superman that oh! It's, uh, it's hard to do this dance in in a suit, but I wanted to class it up for you.
And I wanted to add a little romance to this otherwise very misogynistic song.
I'm sorry, Amber.
Will you accept this Rose? I like you.
But? But I don't know what your whole deal is.
I don't know if it's immaturity or hubris, but I-I'm old enough to know that it doesn't make a difference.
I'm sorry, Courtney.
Look, I'm sorry if I hurt you, Amber, and I've learned a lot about myself over these past couple days.
And if you give me another chance, it'll be different.
But if not I get it.
Thank you for your time? Bye, Courtney.
I mean, I don't get it.
What didn't she like? Was it Was it Jermaine's dancing or What? I-I'm the best dancer out of all of us.
She loved my dancing.
Actually, that might've been it.
Sorry, boss.
I should've let you shine.
It wasn't you guys.
It was me.
I met a great woman, and I blew it.
AMBER: Courtney! Maybe I'll hit you up in the a.
m.
- Oh! - Maybe.
Okay.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Yo! [LAUGHS.]
Thank you, Lord, thank you.
Thank you.
For curing sister Lopez's eczema and blessing Martin with sobriety - ALL: Yeah.
- ish 'Cause you know Martin be wilin'.
but above all, we thank you, Lord, for giving us the opportunity every day [CHATTER.]
to learn, grow and become our best selves.
ALL: Amen.
[ORGAN PLAYS.]
Shine on me [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Shine on me [CHATTER.]
You know, I always knew that when Ms.
Dina decided to spread her wings, she would soar.
Better watch out, Courtney.
Your mama's about to leave the nest.
Shine on me Go, Ma! Whoo! Shine on me Shine on me - Amen! - Shine on me Let the light from the lighthouse shine on me Whoo! That's my Mama.
Now watch me yuuuu Crank dat Soulja Boy - Now watch me youuuu - Whoa! Whoa! Crank dat Soulja Boy, now watch me yuuuu Crank dat Soulja Boy Man, look at those outfits.
That's enough fabric to make a Steve Harvey suit.
[LAUGHTER.]
Y'all look ridiculous.
- We look ridiculous? - Don't take it personally.
I'm a man who intimately knows his shape.
What? Clothing likes my body.
"Clothing likes my body.
" He looks like a very dapper broomstick.
- [LAUGHS.]
- I heard that!
Hey, so I have a lawyerly question.
Uh-oh.
Are we on a date or a pro-bono meeting? Is it fun to say, "Objection, Your Honor"? - The funnest.
- See, I knew it! Maybe I should go to law school.
I love a good courtroom drama.
[LAUGHS.]
[CELLPHONES CHIME.]
Hey, are we on a text chain I don't know about, or do we both get the Sacramento Buzz news alerts? I gots to have my Buzz.
How else would I have learned that Assemblyman White's assistant scheduler just turned 32? You so want a Buzz birthday shout-out.
Is that too much to ask? "Sacramento Buzz Anonymous Tips.
Fort Grey Mayor total nerd.
" Send.
Ah, and the smear campaign begins.
[SHE CHUCKLES.]
I happen to be a very cool, very tough rapper.
Oh.
Well, when I Googled you, all I could find were two songs and several "404 Not Found" error messages.
I'll show you something to demonstrate my artistry.
Um Ah.
For Grey High School, senior year the prom-posal they still talk about.
Yo, Tina, you want to you want to go to the prom with me? Now watch me yuuuu, crank dat Soulja Boy Now watch me yuuuu, crank dat Soulja Boy Soulja Boy up in it, ohh You asked your date to the prom with Soulja Boy? These lyrics are not great to women.
Yeah, they're terrible, but look how good we are at the dance.
Now watch me yuuuu, crank dat Soulja Boy Now watch me yuuuu, crank dat Now, what, I'm bouncin' on my toes So, what do you think? You Maybe I'll hit you up in the a.
m.
"Maybe I'll hit you up in the a.
m.
"? What does that mean? Oh, she was into it.
She just had to check with her mom.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[RAP MUSIC PLAYS.]
And we pray for brother Marcus, who's about to start his new job.
Amen, brother Marcus.
And, sister Betty, we pray for you.
Sister Betty's about to have a root canal.
May God give you the good drugs, sister Betty.
[CHATTER.]
We also pray for our leaders.
May God give our leaders wisdom and humility.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
- Humility! - Oh! Mm.
Jesus didn't network his way into heaven, although He did have the ultimate hookup.
[CHATTER AND LAUGHTER.]
Have a good Sunday afternoon.
Everybody say amen.
ALL: Amen.
Amen! - [GOSPEL MUSIC PLAYS.]
- Sing, children.
Come on.
Jesus is my savior - Praise him, praise him - Sing, children! Jesus is my savior My bouquet of Roses.
Oh! Hey, Reverend.
I'm so sorry about the chatting.
That's all right.
I was having fun, but you were like a little Bill Clinton out there, you know.
[AS BILL CLINTON.]
"Hey, let me kiss your baby.
Come on over here.
Hillary's out in back.
" [LAUGHS.]
I actually came over here to talk to you, Dina.
Since Betty's having a root canal, - we could use another - Nope.
- Don't tell me you're busy.
- I'm busy.
- Dina.
- Reverend.
I happen to know - I happen to know a couple things mys - Guys.
You got to know, this banter is annoying to the people on the outside.
I want your Mama to join the choir.
She's got a syrupy voice you can pour on a pancake.
She does.
She sings all the time around the house.
I just thought it was a thing mamas do when they're trying to ignore you.
Okay, years ago in a moment of weakness aided by eggnog, I Oh, the Devil's drink, but I ain't mad at it.
I made the mistake of telling Reverend Loudmouth McChatty-Pants that singing was a dream of mine.
So, I bother her every now and again, but she's always too busy.
Busy with what? Oh! Oh, I get me.
- DINA: Mm.
- Oh, okay.
Well, Ma, now you have to do it.
And I can take care of myself.
Just text me the Netflix password.
Okay, you know what? You two are starting to raise my blood pressure on the Lord's day, so I will do it.
That's fantastic, Dina! Okay, we have the sewer guys at 10:30 - don't make faces.
- Why do they always smell? They're not in the pipes.
Moving on.
Then, Courtney is filming a PSA for Fort Grey Medical Center.
It's their 70th anniversary.
I mean, that's old, but I'm not wildly impressed.
Big Mama's older than that.
This weekend is their big gala.
Now, I know what you're thinking.
"Val, what a perfect place to meet a husband.
" - I went last year it's not.
- I wasn't thinking that.
Anyways, Courtney is scheduled to attend cocktail attire.
- Oh.
- Oh.
- Cream blazer - Black, single button - black tuxedo pant - pocket square - bolo tie - is that the same as a handkerchief? - Let's talk socks - Guys, wait.
Focus.
- Is this a miracle? - Should I take Amber to the gala? And back to one.
Dinner, dancing, debauchery.
It's prom for grown folks.
Hells yeah.
Amber'll love that.
She's top-shelf.
- Classy.
- You know what's not classy? Comparing a woman to expensive liquor.
What we mean is Courtney usually pursues girls of the not-girlfriend-material persuasion.
With all due respect, they ratchet.
COURTNEY: That's a generalization.
Look, I have met many wonderful music lovers at dimly lit after parties.
I don't need to know about your romantic history unless there's a "Carlos Danger" situation.
Carlos Danger? Well, he sounds awesome.
He is awesome if you like politicians who post pictures of their you-know-what on Twitter.
- I'm still in.
- COURTNEY: Is a gala too much too soon? We've only been on a couple of dates.
VAL: Yes! This is a work event, a place to make contacts and forge partnerships, and why am I trying here? Let me handle this.
Court, why can't we forge partnerships and heart-nerships, if you know what I mean? Good point.
I'm texting Amber now.
My guess, she's gonna drag it out.
Make you squirm.
Just remember, love isn't love unless it hurts a little.
[CELLPHONE CHIMES.]
She said yes.
Wow, that was fast.
Little desperate.
- My man.
- Fall in love She was a vision in high school, and she's a vision now.
O-M-God.
And the high will be 78, but don't rush outside just yet.
The air quality's poor.
Bummer! [CHUCKLES.]
Back to you, Mark.
MARK: Thank you so much for that, Danielle.
Damn, she's still got it.
Do you think she remembers us? Man, how can she remember us if she didn't know our names before? I don't know.
Courtney was high-key obsessed with her freshman year.
I wrote poems and put 'em in her locker.
Her boyfriend kicked my ass, but that was before my growth spurt.
- [BUZZER.]
- Okay, that's a wrap! Mayor Rose, we're ready to shoot that PSA.
- Okay.
- DANIELLE: Courtney.
Courtney Rose? Hi! [CHUCKLES.]
I mean, h-hello.
Hi, uh, good afternoon.
- Hi, uh - [CHUCKLES.]
- Shalom.
- Oh, my God.
It's been so long.
Yeah.
Wait, can I call you Courtney, or should it be Mayor Rose? Uh, h-he's amenable to either.
But you can call me Jermaine.
[LAUGHS.]
Anyway, I'm so happy you could do this PSA for us.
I'm on the board for the anniversary gala, - and community health is my jam.
- Mine, too! I love, like, green smoothies, amino acids - Broccoli.
- [CHUCKLES.]
So, you're coming to the gala, right? It's not open bar, but I'm on the board and I get like 12 drink tickets.
[SCOFFS.]
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- Who says that? [CHUCKLES.]
I do.
[CHUCKLES.]
Whoa.
You smell good.
I shower.
Every day.
- What?! - I can't believe it! - Oh, my God, what?! - [INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
- Whoa! - Oh, my God! - [SHOUTING CONTINUES.]
- Yello? 911, this is an emergency.
What just happened?! What just happened is Danielle Jackson is sweating Courtney Rose.
- But why? How? - You got that Mayor heat.
Yeah, but I was a rapper before.
That's way cooler.
Not if you like income, status, and respectability.
Mayor heat, baby.
Women are drawn to it Danielle, Amber, That FedEx lady who made you sign for that package.
She knew what she was doing.
Wait.
I asked Amber to the Gala.
- You got to cancel that.
- No, you can't cancel.
She's a lawyer.
She could sue you.
But I like Amber.
She's cool.
Okay, this is one of those terrible choices between what is clearly right and Danielle.
Hmm.
Hold up.
Remember Val said, "Do not bring a date to a work event"? - Val did say that.
She was very opposed.
- Right.
Now, if there's a girl that's already there, that's one thing.
But bringing a girl is downright irresponsible, and I'll say it emotionally abusive.
Nope, Jermaine's right.
I'm gonna text Amber and tell her it's more of a work thing.
Which is true, on account of a technicality that serves our purposes.
- Mm, exactly.
- She said, "No biggie, ttyl.
" - You did the right thing, dawg.
- Mm-hmm.
- Now, let's go buy some condoms.
- [ENGINE STARTS.]
What? What? Am I the only guy that goes there? - [CELLPHONE RINGS.]
- Come on, do what you feel - What you feel - 707? Courtney, are you kidnapped? If you are, say, "I'm fine.
" REVEREND OKOYE: Dina, I was talking to the Lord today, and your name came up.
Now, I'll cut out the stuff that's not pertinent, but to sum it up, he's angry at you for not being at choir practice right now, Dina.
I am so sorry, - but, uh, I had another commitment.
- Right now? [DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
Yes, I'm, um, I-I'm volunteering at an animal shelter.
Maybe next time, bye! [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
[BARKING CONTINUES.]
H-Here, boy.
[BARKING STOPS.]
That's basically volunteering.
The way you move your eyes So it took me by surprise Mr.
Mayor, can I get your picture for the hospital newsletter? Oh, yeah! Yeah, sure.
- Photo bomb! - Whoa! - [LAUGHS.]
- Okay.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Hey.
- I'm sorry, did I scare you? Oh, no, no, no.
No, I actually I-I like to be bombed in photos.
- Not an alcoholic.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Okay.
Wow, you you clean up nice.
You're not too bad yourself.
B, B-plus.
Is there any chance for some extra credit? - [BOTH LAUGH.]
- Magic, magic Magic, magic Magic, magic, magic, magic They say it's prosciutto wrapped in asparagus, but I think it's just ham on a green bean.
[LAUGHS.]
Want one? - Hey, Ma.
- Hey, baby.
How was the, uh, gala? Looks pretty fun.
What are you talking about? Okay, yeah, that's not gonna become a thing.
No one reads the papers.
No, they just look at the pictures.
[CELLPHONE BUZZES.]
- Oh, no.
- It's like I'm living with The Bachelor.
Hey, you've reached Amber.
You know what to do.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS, DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CREAKS.]
Can you believe this? Great.
One for reading and one for framing.
This paper invaded my privacy.
You're the mayor.
You're a public figure.
You were at a public event.
Yes, but this picture is causing me private problems.
I text Amber five times, she sent this.
- Can you really blame her? - Yes! I canceled out of respect.
I'm the victim here! Of America's tabloid mentality.
I feel like I'm in the male brain right now, and I don't like it.
Look, Courtney, you're gonna have to be more mindful about your personal life.
The image that we project it could affect your career and your agenda.
First of all, "we" are not projecting any image.
Second, I am a young, single man.
I'm dating.
Cory Booker dates.
Does he have someone give him a lecture every time he goes out? Definitely.
He has a whole team for that.
I'm sympathetic, but Mayor dating is different.
Two days ago, you were out with Amber, and now you're out with Danielle.
The optics aren't great.
It's not like that.
This thing with Danielle is happening for a reason.
This is the girl who I loved since I was 14, who I used to lie awake at night on my bed Okay, I-I-I You can stop.
I get it.
Just think with this.
Not this.
Reverend.
- Hi, Dina.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Great news.
- Hey, Reverend.
Nice to see you as always.
- What are you doing? - You missed another choir practice, and since it's obviously very difficult for you to make it to practice, today, practice is coming to you, Dina Rose.
[KEYBOARD PLAYS.]
On the beat, any time you want.
I can do this all night.
I feel like you can.
Lord, the acoustics are really good in here.
And she didn't RSVP to the shower? Well, then you do not invite her to the wedding, girl.
All right, holla at ya boy.
That started as a constituent complaint, and then we had a lot to unpack.
Guys, where's Courtney? I need him to sign this.
JERMAINE: Sorry, Val.
Courtney's forecast tonight is Danielle with a chance of Danielle.
- Okay? - He realizes that being a mayor is a full-time commitment, right? If he doesn't, be honest.
Oh, I see what's going on here.
You're jealous.
- What? No, please.
- He's right, and I know why.
Mm-hmm.
You've never been on a date.
Don't worry, Val.
We got you.
We're gonna give you a movie-style makeover up your confidence.
You're the nerdy girl that takes her glasses off and then boom! Whole school sees you for the first time.
- I don't wear glasses.
- You don't? Really? Okay, well, then, we can take your hair out that tight little bun thing that you do.
My hair is always down.
Guys.
Ugh! This is gonna be so hard.
Guys, I've been on a date! I've been on dates.
Lots of them.
If you must know, I was married.
- What? - What? I was married, and then I wasn't.
He died? No, I'm divorced.
Well, give us the tea, sis.
Please, begin at the beginning.
[KEYBOARD PLAYING.]
- [POUNDING ON CEILING.]
- MAN: Turn it down! Is it God's will to get me evicted, Reverend? [KEYBOARD PLAYING.]
[KEYBOARD STOPS.]
Dina, why are you avoiding choir practice? I know you love to sing.
I told you, I'm busy.
With your dog-rescue work? I gave that dog a sandwich.
- What's holding you back? - Maybe I'm scared.
I have a theory, if you don't mind.
- I do mind.
- My theory is Dina Rose is not afraid of choir practice.
I think she's nervous 'cause she's about to embark on a new chapter in her life.
And for a woman who spent so many years being a fantastic mom, thinking of herself it isn't easy.
Well, it's not the worst theory in the world.
And I do like that it's flattering.
Dina, this next chapter is all about you.
Singing That's just the beginning.
The world is your oyster.
You know, you had me 'til "oyster," but I'm really a fish-and-chips kind of girl.
COURTNEY: Cheers to a fun date.
Hey - DANIELLE: Date? - Date.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
After the gala, I figured we could use a little privacy.
That's so sweet.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Oh.
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Um Uh, so, uh, what got you into meteorology? Were you one of those kids that stared into the clouds? Ha.
No way.
It's probably the same thing that got you into politics.
Getting out of here? So, you don't want to stay in Fort Grey? No longer than I have to.
I mean, this place is ultimately a stepping stone, right? You're talented, you've got a good story.
What's your next move? Um, I, um, I don't know.
Well, I just have to use the bathroom, so I'll be right back.
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[CELLPHONE CLICKS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
So, "#MayorDating"? - Oh, you saw it? - Mm-hmm.
Well, did you like it? Not yet, because I'm on the date that you took a picture of and posted online.
It's good for both of us.
I mean, it's kind of why we're here, right? It wasn't why I was here.
I'm here because I am an idiot.
- I can take the picture down if you want.
- No, no, no, no.
It's okay.
I don't want you to miss out on all your likes.
Have a good night.
Hey, did he leave enough for me to get a dessert? We were co-captains of the speech-and-debate team in college, and we fell in love.
I mean, you get it.
It's point-counterpoint.
We got married right after graduation.
I guess that's what they mean when they say May-December.
That's not what that means.
It was a shotgun wedding because she was pregnant.
Also, not that.
How come we're just hearing about this? My parents were divorced, and, well, I always said that that would never happen to me, and so, I used to be embarrassed about it.
You shouldn't be embarrassed, unless you cheated and you were on that show "Cheaters.
" It happened to my cousin.
They do not take that footage down.
No one cheated, okay? We were just young, and we grew up and we grew apart.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't worry.
I'm I'm fine.
No, no, I mean I'm sorry because I always thought you were, like, a work robot.
Yeah.
I guess I never really thought of you as a person who had, like, experiences and stuff.
Well, thank you guys for seeing me as a human person, and know it means a lot.
So what happened to the baby? There wasn't a baby.
- VAL: Courtney.
- Huh? Everything okay? I thought that you were out with, uh Danielle? I was.
Turns out she was only feeling Mayor Rose, not Courtney Rose.
- Listen, I - I know, I know.
Mayor dating is different.
You warned me.
No, I mean yes, I-I did, but I-I was just gonna say don't worry.
You know, we've all had bad dates.
It was bad.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- We have nothing in common.
I don't get it.
In high school, she was my dream girl.
It's crazy how what we wanted when we were 17 isn't what we want now.
I mean, I used to think that I needed to be with someone exactly like me, but, you know, now I realize he doesn't have to subscribe to the Times, the Post, and the Journal.
You know, he could just subscribe to the Times.
And the Post.
I mean, if you're gonna do two, just complete the tri-fecta, right? Or the Sacramento Buzz.
What? That's, like, not even in the top five.
This was really helpful.
Thanks.
And now I'm alone again.
Sunshine Oh, my God.
Ohhhhh Soulja Boy up in it, ohh! Watch me crank it, watch me roll Watch me crack dat Soulja Boy then Superman that oh! Now watch me yuuuu, crank dat Soulja Boy Now watch me yuuuu, crank dat Soulja Boy Now Soulja Boy up in it, ohh Watch me crank it, watch me roll Watch me crack dat Soulja Boy then Superman that oh! It's, uh, it's hard to do this dance in in a suit, but I wanted to class it up for you.
And I wanted to add a little romance to this otherwise very misogynistic song.
I'm sorry, Amber.
Will you accept this Rose? I like you.
But? But I don't know what your whole deal is.
I don't know if it's immaturity or hubris, but I-I'm old enough to know that it doesn't make a difference.
I'm sorry, Courtney.
Look, I'm sorry if I hurt you, Amber, and I've learned a lot about myself over these past couple days.
And if you give me another chance, it'll be different.
But if not I get it.
Thank you for your time? Bye, Courtney.
I mean, I don't get it.
What didn't she like? Was it Was it Jermaine's dancing or What? I-I'm the best dancer out of all of us.
She loved my dancing.
Actually, that might've been it.
Sorry, boss.
I should've let you shine.
It wasn't you guys.
It was me.
I met a great woman, and I blew it.
AMBER: Courtney! Maybe I'll hit you up in the a.
m.
- Oh! - Maybe.
Okay.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Yo! [LAUGHS.]
Thank you, Lord, thank you.
Thank you.
For curing sister Lopez's eczema and blessing Martin with sobriety - ALL: Yeah.
- ish 'Cause you know Martin be wilin'.
but above all, we thank you, Lord, for giving us the opportunity every day [CHATTER.]
to learn, grow and become our best selves.
ALL: Amen.
[ORGAN PLAYS.]
Shine on me [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Shine on me [CHATTER.]
You know, I always knew that when Ms.
Dina decided to spread her wings, she would soar.
Better watch out, Courtney.
Your mama's about to leave the nest.
Shine on me Go, Ma! Whoo! Shine on me Shine on me - Amen! - Shine on me Let the light from the lighthouse shine on me Whoo! That's my Mama.
Now watch me yuuuu Crank dat Soulja Boy - Now watch me youuuu - Whoa! Whoa! Crank dat Soulja Boy, now watch me yuuuu Crank dat Soulja Boy Man, look at those outfits.
That's enough fabric to make a Steve Harvey suit.
[LAUGHTER.]
Y'all look ridiculous.
- We look ridiculous? - Don't take it personally.
I'm a man who intimately knows his shape.
What? Clothing likes my body.
"Clothing likes my body.
" He looks like a very dapper broomstick.
- [LAUGHS.]
- I heard that!