The Naked Chef (1999) s01e02 Episode Script

Hen Night

Naked's what I call my way of cooking.
What I cook in the restaurant isn't what I cook at home.
Cooking's gotta be a laugh.
It's gotta be simple - it's gotta be tasty - it's gotta be fun.
I suppose you could say it's stripping down the recipe to its bare essentials.
No way - it's not me it's the food.
So who you cooking for today? Well my sister's coming round for like a hen night bash because she's getting married - so she's got like ten or eleven leary ladies coming round.
It's a quiet evening then? They're all City girls - or students - so I don't think it's going to be very quiet.
You know I've gotta get stuck in really - stop holding me up.
Nice coffee.
FOCACCIA BREAD I really like this recipe because it's so reliable.
And it's got such a lot of character you know what I mean - and er - it was kind of like the first break recipe that I learnt - so for the recipe right we've got a kilo of flour - 30 grams of yeast - 30 grams of sugar and 30 grams of salt.
Then the water and that's it - end of story.
This is yeast and this is - at the moment it's just asleep - right - it's dormant.
Right just crumble that into there and what we're gonna do is we're gonna put a little bit of water and this is tepid into that - just a little bit and it needs moisture and heat to wake it up.
Right so they're all kind of er - I'm waking up now and they're kind of wondering what the hell's going on - right so I kind of whisk 'em a little bit.
Right - so they're all waking up now and I've got this sugar which is gonna be like some food - like a bowl of porridge in the morning right - so they're gonna have - a nice little breakfast.
The yeast is now kind of up and about and really going for it and it's kind of going right what we're doing now? So now we've got to get this into the bread.
So what I need is some flour now yeah? I've got some strong organic white - unbleached white flour - there's a kilo in here - I'm going to guess half - if it's up or down who cares you know? I've got semolina flour here and again I'll just guess it - right - do you know you get semolina like the desert - well that comes - that's quite coarse you know.
This is exactly the same stuff - it's no different at all - but it's been milled like fine like flour.
Just make a well in the centre with one hand - don't use 2 hands - I don't want your sticky fingers everywhere - just one hand.
30 grams of salt and then - this yeast - I can hear it fizzing - I mean starting to bubble a little bit.
That's because basically what I said - all these yeasts are kind of waking up and just slowly start bringing in the flour and it'll start getting sticky - like glue.
So let's add some more water and this process is quite quick you know - doesn't take long.
I bet I could make this quicker than me walking to my local supermarket and buying a loaf.
It does look quite therapeutic.
It is very therapeutic.
It's wicked - I love it.
I mean I'm 23 - and I could be sounding like an old git sort of talking about how good it is to make bread but I mean - you know some boys like to put straight through a exhause pipes on their lowered Escort XL3fs and I like to make bread.
This - I don't know - I'm kind of scrunching it.
When I worked in France like the Boulangeres - who were very, very good - were kind of like and it looked really complicated and stuff like that.
And then when I went to learn to make bread - with this Italian guy called Genaro who made fantastic bread - er - like he told me off when I started kneading his dough and it was quite funny cos he goes no - Jamie - don't do it like that - he was like that guy off the Fast Show you know - he came out and goes er - Making bread is very much like making love to a beautiful woman and - you have to treat it gently and you know be vigorous at the right points and all that sort of stuff.
How long does that kneading take then? It's just until that dough looks white and smooth and silky you know - then you know you've done a good job.
What we're gonna do now - is let it prove for the first time but we do it twice and this is the first one and what that does it gives the bread a good texture and better flavour.
As long as it's not cold and it hasn't - it's not draughty - er - just put it into an airing cupboard - that's ideal or what I'm gonna do today is - it's not cold in here - it's quite warm so I'm gonna put it onto this board and then I'm gonna put a little bowl over it to kind of encapsulate everything that's going on in here.
So we'll leave it for about half an hour and - see how it goes.
Yeah - that's doubled in size.
So basically what we've gotta do now is just knock out - knock out the air.
That's kind of developed a lot of taste and structure in the bread now we've just gotta bash it all out and start again.
Right I'm just gonna get a tin - which is about perfect size and there's two ways you can roll it out - cos I wanna get it in here.
You can do it - use the palm of your hand - and just kind of push it out like that or if you're happier with it - just get a rolling pin and just kind of roll it out like that and just dust the bottom of the tin-flip this in - and I'm just gonna push it to all the sides - get it in there and then when we've got it in there we've just to make just use the palm of your hand and flatten it all out so it's like the same thickness all the way over roughly - not - don't be too fussy - but you don't want it thick at one end and thin at the other.
And just kind of flatten it out like this - I'm gonna put this over here and I'm gonna make some oil - some flavoured oil right and it's really, really pucker.
I've got some rosemary - you can put a bit of salt on it if you like.
I mean that's quite nice cos it's abrasive yeah.
So you just kind of bash it like that - if you want to stop it making a mess I would do it in a bowl and bash it down or put a tea towel over Use what you like - use a blooming brick if you like.
And all you want to do is just like completely pul - you can see it's all pulverized and all the leaves are getting smashed up - just wanna do that really.
I wanna get some garlic in there yeah.
Just use about five cloves of garlic - keep 'em whole.
You don't have to take the paper off or anything? No - paper? Yes well we take the paper off - and just bash it try and keep it on the board.
And then what I'm gonna do is grab a bowl - sweep up all of this - chuck it in the bowl - get some olive oil.
Now what I'm doing now is scrunching it - look it's really scrunch it.
Grab all these stems and stuff like that - and it's got all the oil in it and you just pick it up and you squeeze it all over like that and that's where all the flavours - all the stems that you've got left in your hand put back in there to mop up more oil and then just squeeze it again and that's - that's what it's all about really - none of this pretty business.
Squeeze it.
Fingers -just push.
Right to the bottom - right to the bottom and just keep doing it until there's holes everything Is that making the oil go into the bread then? Yeah yeah - cos you're making like pongs and all the oil kind of seep into the gaps and then as that proves - like the little bit of the oil seeps into the bread which flavours it and then when it cooks the bread kind of sucks it all in - so basically it just ends up being dead tasty and looking dead pucker.
What we do now - you just forget about it for half an hour - keep it in the room which isn't cold or draughty - right - cover it if you like - I'm not going to - er - you can put it in your airing cupboard again - same rules apply as to before - so we're gonna let this double in size - and then we'll bake it - about 200 for about 15 minutes and that'll be perfect.
But er - I'm just gonna leave it and not touch it - don't bash it nothing - just let the yeast do its work.
I better just clean up a bit.
Thought you had a friend coming round? Yes Lee but I don't expect him to be on time cos he's always late.
Right look at this - it's doubled in size now - and this is basically - I've left it for half an hour - and you know - I've left it for half an hour - it's basically proved - doubled in size and this is the important bit - you gotta treat it really really gently - that means don't pick it up and bash it in the oven and slam the door - that means pick it up real gently and slowly put it in.
Yes I'm coming.
Let's go and get the old boy.
Hello mate.
Hello mate how's it going? Yeah you alright? Yeah not too bad.
You've caught me mate.
Why's that? I'm cooking that dinner party for my sister and her friends.
Oh yeah.
You fancy giving me a hand? Yeah go on if you're quick.
LEMON AND LIME CREAM TART Okay what do you want me to do for you Jamie? Can you wash those limes - cos we're only going to get the zest off those? What you making Jamie? I'm making Lemon Lime cream tart.
Dead simple.
I've gotta - I've gotta pastry shell in the freezer and I think er - short pastry - sweet short pastry's best out the freezer - straight in the oven and it doesn't seem to shrink or anything like that - if you put the pastry and the filling in - it'll be - the pastry will be soggy at the bottom so For the filling basically what I need - get a bowl - 8 eggs - so just break 'em in there - the whole lot.
Right - I need some sugar in here - I need 340 grams.
Er - so I'll just the chuck the sugar in here with the eggs - just whisk it until it's kind of pale and all dissolved.
Lee's a big dessert freak aren't you mate? I always save a little bit of space for dessert.
Little bit of space - yeah - he like extra large portions yes A slow job Yeah but some of the best things in life are slow aren't they mate - have I got enough to - yeah - beautiful - Lee's done a fine job.
This cool cos look at that green - that's dea cool.
That looks good and it'll taste like right good - immediate flavour.
Right let's get about 6 lemons.
Do you want me to cut these in half? Yeah if you cut these in half and I'll start juicing them with you.
I need 300 millemetres - generally I do a little bit more lime than lemon cos it's not quite as strong in flavour or at least not when it's cooked anyway.
Why do you not use one of those lemon squeezers - isn't it easier? Yeah - it is easier but I haven't got one.
All the toys in my kitchen and I haven't got a lemon squeezer.
I like squeezing them You've got a very good squeezing action there Jamie.
Yeah I'm proud of it.
Do you cook together a lot you two? Yeah Lee's cooked a couple of delights for me - do you remember? When was that then? It was about four years ago That long ago.
Fisherman's surprise.
No Captain's Delight.
What? Captain's Delight.
It was - er - yeah it was so good I can remember the name.
It was er - Lee when on a bit of a mission - he kind of - he made a ship - he constructed a ship out of - er - toast.
And baked beans.
And er - he made this sea of baked beans and then by the time I finished it I got to the bottom of the sea and there was a chest of treasure which happened to be a big chunk of rather mature old plastic cheese at the bottom It's what you call an interactive meal though isn't it you know Shut up - right let's have a look - oh cool we're there.
Basically I just get a sieve now and cos there's quite - quite a few pips in it.
So we're done - that's basically it - just gotta add some cream.
50 milliltires of double cream.
Very, very simple.
The tart shell is ready.
I'm kind of wondering why I put it in such a big bowl now cos I've gotta pick it up.
You can take the tart shell out and put filling in but I actually find that a pain so I just pour it in - Much easier this way cos you don't spill any.
How long does that take to cook then? Er - "bout -" bout 20 minutes.
But you never know really - it depends on the oven - basically you want too cook it until the centre's just a little bit wobbly.
Right - and then you know that around it's pretty much set but by the time you've taken it out and let it rest for an hour - it'll cut really smooth.
Lovely - and all the work's done now do you what I mean? One tart - lots of girls Alright mate - thanks very much yea.
No worries yeah - I'll see you next week yeah.
Yeah take care - If you need a hand with the ladies give us a ring yeah.
You wish mate.
Hello Barry.
Hello mate how you keeping? Alright mate - how are you? Not too bad - long time no see.
Yeah - you look like you've been away? Yeah.
Again? Every time I see you've got that sun tan.
Parkhurst Lovely mate.
After some little bits and pieces.
Sure we do.
I want to get some salad - have a bit of everything green.
Just pass the box over - just put anything you want in and I'll see how much it comes to.
Got any green beans? Yeah.
The fine - little fine ones.
How many you looking for? About half a box.
Is that too many for you - take the whole lot - I'll charge you a bit less for this.
Yeah brilliant cheers.
I'll grab a couple of cherry tomatoes.
That's a nice one - put that straight in you bag go on.
Got any basil? Yeah.
Beautiful mate.
Eh mate you don't want a bit of extra work tonight do you? Guess who I'm cooking for? Go on.
It's my sister's Hen night and I've got ten women coming round.
No it's not me anymore - bad experience of a Hen night.
Did you? Oh yeah.
What when you used to be one of those Chippendales? Night I done it it was freezing cold.
What was it (mumbles) Terrible.
Oh God - how much do I owe you? Twelve quid -just give us a tenner Jamie.
Sure? Yeah.
Cheers.
Good luck to you mate.
Alright mate take care.
Alright mate - look after yourself - see you again eh - see you later.
SALMON I love this salmon dish right - because basically it's so simple to do - I cook it all in one tray - hardly any washing up.
I've got these green beans which are really nice - fine Kenya bean - you can get 'em everywhere - don't get the fat ones - they're horrible and stringy.
I've just topped 'em - leave the tail on cos it looks cool.
I've got some boiling salted water right - and I'm just gonna blanche these Right - these - I got these tomatoes from Barry - I'm gonna leave the little ones whole and any ones that are semi big I'll just cut in half which are cool.
So we need olives - I've got some really good olives.
Er - where are they? Here we go.
They're really good.
I got them from my local Deli.
The thing I like about these is they've got the stone in yeah - which is a bit of palaver - but you know just tastes like more than 10 times better.
If you watch me yeah - just take our little handful of olives - and you get something flat like this - could be anything and just whack it Take the pip out - dead simple - not too painful is it? If you leave a pip in there and someone chomps into one of those you're gonna get in trouble.
What happens when people send things back in the restaurant - how do all you chefs react? Er - well it's always - I mean basically if something comes back - all the chefs come round like - they went no - there' nothing wrong with that - right that's good perfect - do you know what I mean it's just - and they're really protective.
At the end of the day if it's not good - it's not good - you've gotta do another one or if they don't wanna another one you've got to give 'em it for free - no questions.
If you've got people coming out your restaurant not happy then that's bad - you know really bad.
These beans - they're cooked, they're perfect.
Just drain these just shake 'em off.
And while they're hot put 'em in with that and that'll kind of get all the flavours going.
What will? Well the heat - the heat will start kind of drawing a bit of moisture out of the tomatoes and bringing salt out of the olives and then it all starts taking like really funky and Mediterranean - you know I like it.
And I need some basil you know just get stuck in mate - it's all part of the fun isn't it? Just toss this over - I need some olive oil - this olive oil right it's as cheap as chips and it does me proud because it's quite mild - quite peppery and I - you know it's for cooking - you know - it does the job.
But as far as olive oil's concerned people do yap on about it too much.
You get what you pay for Right - so that's done.
We'll leave it there - give it a little toss every now and again.
And let the er - flavours kind of mix up.
Now I've got these salmon right - this salmon is dead good right.
In the restaurant I would only serve kind of wild salmon just because obviously you always want the best.
And while salmon is kind of whereas this is quite pink wild salmon's quite dark red and it's very oily and fatty and it's like real tasty stuff.
But it's so expensive - but you know this is farmed salmon.
It's damned good.
It's damned cheap and you know for home you now it makes complete sense.
So the lovely thing about this dish right is that I'm gonna do all in one tray.
Now this is a humdinger of a tray yeah - but I am cooking for 12 - 10 or 12 people tonight.
You can oil it -just rub it in a bit.
Put a bit of salt on the bottom.
Then put these salmon fillets in.
This is how simple it is.
Be it for 2 people or for 10 or even 20 right - then get your vegetables and just toss 'em over - you can spoon it over if you want but I like tossing them about.
Just chuck 'em in there - and just kind of flatten them all out and try and bring the tomatoes to the top cos they benefit best from getting a little bit of colour.
What they're all gonna cook together? Yeah they're all gonna cook together - you can whack it in for like 10/12 minutes - or you know use your common sense - if you've got piddly little salmon that is that thick then you wanna give it about kind of 8 minutes - if they're a bit fatter like these boys - er - about 10.
Where's me anchovies? Here we go.
I've got some anchovies right? I never used to like anchovies - er - if you don't want 'em you don't have 'em but what I've found anchovies do when you use them properly is that they just intensify the flavours really and what I do in this dish - is just lay the anchovies over the green beans and just kind of let 'em melt as they cook.
You don't really taste anchovy you just get this kind of like - just kind of brings the flavour out in all the other things.
And so just lay this over - lemon juice over the fish - just squeeze it in.
And I love this bit you know just chuck it - you know just finishing it off - all the last - I mean the lemon juice just pulls it all together really.
Sea salt.
Bit of pepper - so that's that done.
I can forget about that for a little while and then when the girls get here I'll chuck it in the oven.
Well done and I can drink and have a laugh.
BASIL AIOLI So I'm gonna make this really good er - basil aiole to go with the salmon.
Basically it's a mayonnaise flavoured with garlic and basil.
What you do - is you've got to emulsify the egg with oil.
Right I've got two oils - I've got a peppery rich green extra virgin and I've gotta a really cream mild virgin olive oil.
So I've got my egg yolk in there - it's free range - to me you've gotta have free range - it looks better - it tastes better and I don't like the idea of battery - and put a little bit of mustard - a good tablespoon.
So just add your oil - the only trick really is to add it real slow to start off with and then as it starts looking like mayonnaise does - you start putting more and more in.
If you add it too quick it'll split - which means it looks horrible and greasy.
Just whip away - not particularly fast - and add this oil really slowly.
Then like you can see - it's starting to come now - it's starting to come together and it's getting quite thick.
Basically you start speeding up how much oil you're putting in - bit by bit a little bit more and then in about another 30 seconds we can start putting in even more in.
And then you've got no danger of splitting it.
Okay so you can see it's like really getting really thick now - so I'm gonna start adding like bigger lugs of oil and that won't hurt it at all - that'll just get it going - easy peasy.
Give it a good bashing.
See it's all shiny now and it's getting real thick.
Then you wanna flavour it so that's what we're gonna do next.
Right mayonnaise is done right - this is garlic.
I think garlic raw is really harsh - it's a really really harsh thing - er - so for that amount of mayonnaise - if that was in France - put two of these in - right I'm gonna put half in cos I've got lots of young girls coming round today - and er - they're going out on the pull tonight I should thing so they don't want like garlic breath do you know what I mean? So er - I'm use half a clove of garlic - er - okay - so I've put a little bit of salt in there cos it's kind of abrasive - the garlic - pound that up - little bit of paste.
Just get that in there.
Doesn't matter if you leave a bit - cos you're going to get the basil in there now.
I've washed this earlier yeah - the best way to wash basil I think is keep it in a bunch - right - put it in some water then shake it off - and then like you know wash it again and shake it off and that's the best way and for this particular thing don't like much around and pick the leaves - just get most of the leaves at the top - rip it off - little bit of stalk in there won't hurt.
Plenty of flavour in the sauce as well.
Little pinch of salt again - bit abrasive.
And just like pound it to hell.
Can you use other herbs and things? Other herbs? Yeah definitely - I mean basically cos this is gonna be quite a delicate thing - you know we can use other delicate herbs - things like parsley or tarragon or - mint nuts - use nuts mate - real nice.
Roasted almonds - they're really nice - just roast 'em off until they're slightly golden - and then like knock 'em up - have some as powder so you can get the flavour in there and some nice big chunks and that is really, really tasty.
And this is the other thing I like about the pestle and mortar right - instead of having everything sort of finely chopped or whizzed up - and everything uniform we've got like this - like a lot of it's kind of pulped you know - you've got the oils and flavours coming through and the rests of it is kind of really rough and rustic and I just love that cos to me it just says like home made all over it.
It's gotta be rough and ready.
Just like I like my women - yeah.
Right what the hell am I saying.
So basically what this tastes of now is lovely and oily mayonnaisy but we've got the basil and the garlic in there but it needs sort of balancing - bit of common sense do you know what I mean - this is where people go wrong with cooking in general - right - so just get two big fat lemons and this is where the clever bit comes - cos all it is - is a bit of lemon - bit of salt and pepper and this is when you start making food taste good.
I haven't tasted it - I know it's bland - I'm just gonna put a little pinch - just to get it going.
So you just rely on your own taste then? Completely - that's what food should be about anyway - cos you know it's always to your own palette.
Anyway let's taste it.
That's not bad.
Needs a little bit more salt - needs a bit more pepper - needs a good squeeze of lemon.
Cos that's gonna really make - that's gonna really work with fish - the lemon's just gonna completely make it and that's gonna thin it out as well - you can see kind of like the liquid right - going creamy now.
Yeah that is so damned good.
That is really fresh - loads of basil - and that took three minutes to make and I was yapping do you know what I mean - everyone should try that.
Dead simple.

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