The Penguins of Madagascar (2008) s01e05 Episode Script
Can't Touch This
The We Like To Move It Crew presents: All right.
So why are we here? The question that has vexed common man and philosopher alike.
That's not what you're going for.
Maurice said he's got a very important announcement.
All right, might I have everyone's attention? Everyone, eyes and ears! Hello? Is anyone listening? Quiet! Thank you.
It is my honor to introduce King Julien, leader of lemurs, lord of the ringtails, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera! Thank you, Maurice, for your hearty "et ceteras".
I'll cut to the chases.
In a few hours, we celebrate the biggest holiday of the year.
Christmas in july! Except Not christmas, and it's not july.
Look how playfully they tease me, Maurice.
You know I am speaking of King Julien day.
How could you not? It's on every calendar.
What about this one? There it is.
See? So shut up and start shopping.
So, what is King Julien day? On King Julien day, everybody loads up the gifts on the King and pretty much does whatever he says.
It's eight kinds of fun.
No lie.
I see.
Well, in that case, pass.
Listen! You don't understand.
You want King Julien to be happy on his holiday.
One time everyone forgot about King Julien day, I tell you.
Which forgetter is next for their whooping? Come on! I want you to hurt like I do! I couldn't sit right for a week.
Trust me, you do not want him to freak on you.
We'll take our chances.
Please! King Julien day is my favorite holiday in the whole wide world! I love it this much! That's a whole lot of love relative to body mass.
Do you remember that kid's birthday party, last week? Poor little chap's party got rained out.
When the humans ran for cover, Mort and I snatched this.
Do you know what the people put in these things? Candy! Lots of it.
The forbidden fruit-flavored food? I crack it open on my belly and dig out the creamy center.
That's right.
This piñata is full of sweet deliciousness.
What have we here? Lots more where this came from.
And it'll all be yours if you all just celebrate King Julien day like you mean it.
Happy me day! Maurice thinks he can bribe us with his piñata promises.
Sadly for him, we're not for sale.
Right, men? What all do you think is in there? Butterscotch lollies and sourballs? I'd say we're looking at a 50-50 mixture of gummy fish and candy buttons.
Buttons! We may never know, 'cause today, we're performing scheduled maintenance on the HQ.
Perhaps we could postpone? Negative.
You can't just reschedule scheduled maintenance that's been scheduled Right on the schedule! Skipper's right.
Candy is candy.
I mean duty is duty.
Buttons.
Shore leave granted for today, men.
Now get out of here.
Bunch of knuckleheads.
Where are my guests? Come out, come out, wherever you are.
It is time to celebrate me and the many moods of me.
Today, festive me.
King Julien day! King Julien day! Hello.
We are here for the candy party.
Yes, welcome, my loyal royal subjects.
Happy King Julien day! See, the otter is in the holiday spirit.
Everyone now bask in the glory that is King Julien.
Go ahead.
Bask.
Bask harder! Now just the fellows.
Ladies! The ladies sound a little weak.
You know how that makes me, Maurice.
Now, let's get this party started! Everybody, let's limbo! Limbo contest.
Must have candy.
Now I will make you all feel inferior, which is proper.
Did you see? I am not only the King, but I am the limbo King too.
King Julien wins the limbo contest.
Thank you.
Thank you for your boisterous and loving cheers.
Hello, New-York! Put your hands or other appendages together now.
Next, the traditional King Julien day tossing of the fruit.
Tossing of the fruit? Tossing it where exactly? At you exactly.
At us? - Did I hear someone say no? - He didn't say no.
Chewy center.
I said "yo".
As in "yo, I am down with that".
I'll buy that.
Then let the fruit fight begin.
You love getting hit with my unripe fruit.
I can tell from your screams.
Nothing more satisfying than a job well done.
I just cleaned that! What the? Now where was I? It's time for the bake-off.
You have one hour to bake the King the best King Julien day cake ever.
Because what is a party without a cake? It's still a party, I suppose, but it feels like something is missing.
Something cakey.
Anyone here know how to bake? Why are they shaking when they are supposed to be baking, Well, that's not what they're saying.
I think they are, and I am about to freak on them.
Here it comes.
The freak-out! I've always wanted to learn baking.
See, no need to freak.
The bake-off starts now.
Time! Very nice.
Do I see bugs in there? Lemurs love bugs, right? Ordinarily.
But I am on a low tick diet.
- But but but.
- Pineapple upside down cake glazed with brown booger.
My mistake.
Brown sugar.
Just in case, Next! Death by chocolate.
The chocolate part sounds promising.
We didn't actually have chocolate as such Buttons! What did you have? Mainly mud.
Nice presentation.
Bring it so that my belly may taste it's yumminess.
I'll bring it.
There.
Good as new.
I was so looking forward to eating my delicious cake.
How can I look forward to eating nothing? Answer me! They'll make new cakes.
- New bake-off on the double! - Hold it, party boy.
One quiet day of scheduled maintenance.
Is that too much to ask? Is it? You bombard me with music and fruit and this.
Newsflash, lower mammal, there's no such thing as King Julien day Boy.
My cake is back! It's my cake, everybody! It came back.
Silly penguin.
Have some in your head, not on it.
I am the King that this was the best King Julien day ever.
I think so too.
- What a sicko.
- Tell me about it.
You saved my big old behind.
And you earned this crew one big old piñata.
Candy! Candy! Right.
Bang up job.
I can almost taste that butterscotch lolly.
What do we have here? A big paper horse? How did you know that this is the present I have always wanted? I will name him Your Majesty, that's actually a piñata.
A pin-what-a? Why are you making up words, Maurice? Come, Bob.
Let me show you around.
But our Our candy.
Silly King me.
I almost forgot the traditional sharing of the sweets.
And wouldn't you know, Bob has candy guts.
Dig in.
Enjoy Bob's guts candy.
So why are we here? The question that has vexed common man and philosopher alike.
That's not what you're going for.
Maurice said he's got a very important announcement.
All right, might I have everyone's attention? Everyone, eyes and ears! Hello? Is anyone listening? Quiet! Thank you.
It is my honor to introduce King Julien, leader of lemurs, lord of the ringtails, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera! Thank you, Maurice, for your hearty "et ceteras".
I'll cut to the chases.
In a few hours, we celebrate the biggest holiday of the year.
Christmas in july! Except Not christmas, and it's not july.
Look how playfully they tease me, Maurice.
You know I am speaking of King Julien day.
How could you not? It's on every calendar.
What about this one? There it is.
See? So shut up and start shopping.
So, what is King Julien day? On King Julien day, everybody loads up the gifts on the King and pretty much does whatever he says.
It's eight kinds of fun.
No lie.
I see.
Well, in that case, pass.
Listen! You don't understand.
You want King Julien to be happy on his holiday.
One time everyone forgot about King Julien day, I tell you.
Which forgetter is next for their whooping? Come on! I want you to hurt like I do! I couldn't sit right for a week.
Trust me, you do not want him to freak on you.
We'll take our chances.
Please! King Julien day is my favorite holiday in the whole wide world! I love it this much! That's a whole lot of love relative to body mass.
Do you remember that kid's birthday party, last week? Poor little chap's party got rained out.
When the humans ran for cover, Mort and I snatched this.
Do you know what the people put in these things? Candy! Lots of it.
The forbidden fruit-flavored food? I crack it open on my belly and dig out the creamy center.
That's right.
This piñata is full of sweet deliciousness.
What have we here? Lots more where this came from.
And it'll all be yours if you all just celebrate King Julien day like you mean it.
Happy me day! Maurice thinks he can bribe us with his piñata promises.
Sadly for him, we're not for sale.
Right, men? What all do you think is in there? Butterscotch lollies and sourballs? I'd say we're looking at a 50-50 mixture of gummy fish and candy buttons.
Buttons! We may never know, 'cause today, we're performing scheduled maintenance on the HQ.
Perhaps we could postpone? Negative.
You can't just reschedule scheduled maintenance that's been scheduled Right on the schedule! Skipper's right.
Candy is candy.
I mean duty is duty.
Buttons.
Shore leave granted for today, men.
Now get out of here.
Bunch of knuckleheads.
Where are my guests? Come out, come out, wherever you are.
It is time to celebrate me and the many moods of me.
Today, festive me.
King Julien day! King Julien day! Hello.
We are here for the candy party.
Yes, welcome, my loyal royal subjects.
Happy King Julien day! See, the otter is in the holiday spirit.
Everyone now bask in the glory that is King Julien.
Go ahead.
Bask.
Bask harder! Now just the fellows.
Ladies! The ladies sound a little weak.
You know how that makes me, Maurice.
Now, let's get this party started! Everybody, let's limbo! Limbo contest.
Must have candy.
Now I will make you all feel inferior, which is proper.
Did you see? I am not only the King, but I am the limbo King too.
King Julien wins the limbo contest.
Thank you.
Thank you for your boisterous and loving cheers.
Hello, New-York! Put your hands or other appendages together now.
Next, the traditional King Julien day tossing of the fruit.
Tossing of the fruit? Tossing it where exactly? At you exactly.
At us? - Did I hear someone say no? - He didn't say no.
Chewy center.
I said "yo".
As in "yo, I am down with that".
I'll buy that.
Then let the fruit fight begin.
You love getting hit with my unripe fruit.
I can tell from your screams.
Nothing more satisfying than a job well done.
I just cleaned that! What the? Now where was I? It's time for the bake-off.
You have one hour to bake the King the best King Julien day cake ever.
Because what is a party without a cake? It's still a party, I suppose, but it feels like something is missing.
Something cakey.
Anyone here know how to bake? Why are they shaking when they are supposed to be baking, Well, that's not what they're saying.
I think they are, and I am about to freak on them.
Here it comes.
The freak-out! I've always wanted to learn baking.
See, no need to freak.
The bake-off starts now.
Time! Very nice.
Do I see bugs in there? Lemurs love bugs, right? Ordinarily.
But I am on a low tick diet.
- But but but.
- Pineapple upside down cake glazed with brown booger.
My mistake.
Brown sugar.
Just in case, Next! Death by chocolate.
The chocolate part sounds promising.
We didn't actually have chocolate as such Buttons! What did you have? Mainly mud.
Nice presentation.
Bring it so that my belly may taste it's yumminess.
I'll bring it.
There.
Good as new.
I was so looking forward to eating my delicious cake.
How can I look forward to eating nothing? Answer me! They'll make new cakes.
- New bake-off on the double! - Hold it, party boy.
One quiet day of scheduled maintenance.
Is that too much to ask? Is it? You bombard me with music and fruit and this.
Newsflash, lower mammal, there's no such thing as King Julien day Boy.
My cake is back! It's my cake, everybody! It came back.
Silly penguin.
Have some in your head, not on it.
I am the King that this was the best King Julien day ever.
I think so too.
- What a sicko.
- Tell me about it.
You saved my big old behind.
And you earned this crew one big old piñata.
Candy! Candy! Right.
Bang up job.
I can almost taste that butterscotch lolly.
What do we have here? A big paper horse? How did you know that this is the present I have always wanted? I will name him Your Majesty, that's actually a piñata.
A pin-what-a? Why are you making up words, Maurice? Come, Bob.
Let me show you around.
But our Our candy.
Silly King me.
I almost forgot the traditional sharing of the sweets.
And wouldn't you know, Bob has candy guts.
Dig in.
Enjoy Bob's guts candy.