The War Between the Land and the Water (2025) s01e01 Episode Script

Homo Aqua

1
MUSIC: Dale Don Dale by Don Omar
Ahora, capitan?
- Vamos a subirla!
- Si, senor.
Despacio. Despacio.
SPEAKS SPANISH
CONTINUES SPEAKING SPANISH
CREAKING
SCREAMING
SCREECHING
SCREECHES, GUNSHO
PHONES BUZZES
HE GROANS
BUZZING CONTINUES
No way!
Kirby. Kirby, I'm so sorry, darling.
You got to get up.
I just got a phone call.
I'm not supposed to tell you, but
there's this oil spill in Scotland.
They need me. You've got to go to
your mum's. I know. I know.
I'm so sorry. Will you get up?
Will you get up, please?
Love you, love you.
KIRBY GROANS
Thank you. Thank you.
I'll phone your mum.
Hello.
- Why have they activated you?
- I don't know.
Uh, this is Kirby. They're my
child. They're with me.
- But I'm in uniform.
- Yeah, we just got to drop 'em off at their mum's.
- It's in Fulham. It's on the way.
- We can get a taxi in two minutes.
- I'm old enough. I'm not a kid.
- No, look,
you're not crossing London on your
own at this time of night
and that's that. I'm sorry, this is
just how it is. I'm sorry.
So, why are you with soldiers?
Uh, well, because
sometimes with an oil spill,
there might be, erm arguments.
- Thanks. Sorry about this.
- Can't be helped, I suppose.
You and that bloody job.
- Sorry, Mum.
- When are you back?
Oh, I can't tell. I'll text you.
LAUGHTER
Sorry to interrupt the party.
Who's there? Clive and Kalisha?
Yeah. And Stanley.
Yeah. Well, he would be,
wouldn't he? See you.
Sorry. The ex is a bit cross with me.
- You've broken so many rules.
- I know.
And I want to say, um
- I am sorry about Christmas.
- If you can't drink, don't.
I checked.
Apparently, you're onboard
to replace someone called
Roger Trevithick.
He's on a mission in Scotland,
so you've been made his replacement.
- Is that what it says?
- Yup.
That thing about Roger Trevithick,
did that come from HR?
How should I know? General.
Sergeant Chakri, welcome aboard.
- And you are?
- Uh Oh, Barclay Pierre-Dupont, sir.
- I'm Roger Trevithick's replacement.
- Oh, the civilian. Read and assess.
I just wanted to say,
about Roger Trevithick,
- did that come from HR
- Barclay Pierre-Dupont,
does that surname make you French?
- Uh, yeah, on my father's side.
- Tres bien.
Oh, my God.
- Barclay.
- Oh.
- Hiya. Pip, innit?
- Yeah.
I'm replacing Roger Trevithick.
- Oh, my God. Yeah.
- OK.
We arrive on Cabrera at 09:00 local time.
From there, we get taken
to the island of Dragonera.
The village is called Cala Escondida,
designated prime location.
There's a lot to take in,
so I suggest you make a start.
AIRCRAFT WHIRS, SHUDDERS
Wow.
GUNFIRE AND SCREAMING
ECHOING: Amazing, isn't it?
Mind blown.
The thing about Roger Trevithick
Look
..I replaced him only one time,
back in 2020.
His wife was having a baby,
it was premature and he had to rush off,
and I just happened to be there.
So all I had to do
was answer his phone, which didn't
even ring, and so that was that.
But then I went on file
as Roger Trevithick's replacement.
- Ah. How is the baby?
- Yeah, the baby is fine.
But t-t-the thing is,
I-I just got stuck on the list in
HR. Roger Trevithick's replacement.
I get, like, memos. I mean,
there's one time
I even got tickets to Japan,
and I'd email them.
I'd say, "Look. Look, I'm not
Roger Trevithick's replacement."
So?
So I'm not Roger Trevithick's
replacement!
I'm grade ten.
Ten?! You're ten?!
- Look, I
- Don't talk to me!
- And I didn't show you anything.
- What, what do I do?!
I work in transport.
I just book the taxis!
RADIO CHATTER
All troops. As of now,
the Mediterranean is hostile territory.
Village evacuated.
Border established at 10km, sir.
This entire coastline belongs to us.
They hung it far away from the village,
like they were scared of it.
Even in death.
COMPUTER: Decontamination in progress.
Decontamination in progress.
Decontamination in progress.
- Colonel.
- General.
Quite a sight, isn't it?
Caught 5km off the coast.
They shot it dead, but then thought
they could make money out of it.
Hauled it up
the monster from the deep.
We saw it online. Declared it a hoax.
Flew in from Madrid,
sealed the place off,
but it's quite a find.
It's the first time we've seen one
exactly like this.
In mythology and superstition
we call them sea devils,
but we're better than that now.
Let's say, uh
Homo Aqua.
We think their species branched off
from temnospondyls,
which means the correct
name is Homospondyl Erectus.
I say Homo Aqua because that's
what it looks like.
- Do we have a sex?
- Difficult to say.
The genitalia suggests reptilian cloaca,
which is found on both male and female.
What about the neck? Was there a pearl?
Plain and simple.
Nothing artificial. Calcium carbonate.
60% aragonite, 40% calcite.
Then I suggest we return it
to its rightful place.
Every time we find a creature
like this, we find a pearl.
It might be simple decoration.
Mankind has worn pearls ever since
God knows when,
but every pearl gets analysed
and we've found nothing.
No technology, no inscription,
but still, it doesn't signify
a caste or belief or identity.
The pearl is always located at
the base of the throat,
actually embedded in the skin.
We think it's placed there at birth.
It goes back at least 2,000 years,
sir, the use of pearls as jewellery.
It's said Cleopatra
removed her pearl earring,
dissolved it in vinegar and drank it
in front of Mark Antony.
Could be useful. File that.
- Ready for the deep scan?
- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir.
- Corporal Morgan,
you can join the team here
and liaise with Sergeant Brock.
Thank you, Miss Tso.
I think your team can stand down.
- Yes, sir. Pack it up!
- Yes, Sergeant.
Charge him up.
- Coffee, sir.
- Thank you.
Cheers.
ELECTRICAL WHIRRING
I just wonder what they're doing here.
I mean, it's a pond, the Mediterranean.
It's got no depth.
January 2020, there was
an avalanche underwater,
lasting two days, off the west coast
of Africa, spreading over 1,200km.
Massive event. All hidden under the sea.
You think it was them?
It severed communications cables,
which I think is significant.
You're waking up. Now, the world
is two thirds water.
It's us against them.
HIGH-PITCHED BOOM
BOOM VIBRATES
Well
..I think they heard that.
- What was that, sir?
- A translation pulse.
We said hello.
- Can we use our phones yet?
- No.
No, no, no. It's a true story!
That's why people die.
Most common domestic accident,
they fall down stairs, break their necks.
So what are you supposed to do?
Well, you go like this. As you fall,
you starfish, yeah?
It jams you into the stairwell,
you stop falling.
But who is going to remember that?
You're falling!
You don't think, "What do I do?
What kind of fish?"
That's the point.
No-one remembers, so you die!
- LAUGHTER
- Anyway. Right, do you take sugar?
No, thanks.
GROUND SQUELCHES
- Whoa! What the
- What?
- What's all this?
- What's wrong? Muddy boots?
- Something's leaking. Bloody hell!
Careful! Is it chemicals?
Whoa! Right
- What is it?
- I don't know.
Wait I don't know.
What the hell?!
OK. No, no. Hold on to me.
I can't.
I can't!
SHE SCREAMS
Jesus! Right.
We need help! We need help!
STATIC ON RADIO
CHATTER ON RADIO
HE YELLS
We
CREATURE SHRIEKS
ALARM BLARES
- What's happened?
- You have to decontaminate, sir.
But tell me what's happening.
I'm sorry, sir. You'll be able to
see once you
Captain, tell me what's happened!
They've gone, sir.
- What do you mean?
- Everything's gone.
- Who was on duty?
- Corporal Morgan and Private Abdalla.
Then, where are they?
- And where's that thing?
- We were just seconds away,
they can't have got far.
- Hold on! Keep the area clear.
- But they've stripped the place bare.
Where did everything go? Who was on duty?
Corporal Morgan. Private Abdalla.
Please report your location.
We can search the village, sir.
Corporal Morgan. Private Abdalla.
Please report.
Corporal Morgan. Private Abdalla.
FAINT BUZZING
Corporal Morgan.
ECHOING: Corporal Morgan.
Private Abdallah.
ECHOING: Private Abdallah.
Please report your location.
ECHOING: Please report your location.
STATIC ON RADIO
Corporal Morgan?
ECHOING: Corporal Morgan?
Private Abdalla.
ECHOING: Private Abdallah.
What's that?
Huh?
What is that?
He was 28.
I wanted to say sorry
you had to see that.
- You got the wrong one.
- That was your first death.
- I'm sorry.
- No. I'm here by mistake, OK?
I haven't got clearance. I am grade ten.
I work in transport. I'm a clerk.
You were meant to have
Roger Trevithick, right?
I've just ended up here by mistake.
I shouldn't be here.
Are you saying you're here by accident?
Yes, sir.
And that, I suspect,
is how history is made.
One great big chain of mistakes.
But still, the UNIT protocol states,
at times of historical or
cultural or political impact,
a member of the civilian staff must stand
alongside the military as witness.
And they could not be more
civilian than you.
Too late to turn back now, Barclay.
Welcome aboard.
Typical military intelligence.
I got a First-Class degree
and did intensive training at
St Andrews for three years to get here.
You blundered in by mistake.
Yeah.
I'm the one who orders the cars and
finds cheaper lorries.
But I met the Doctor once.
No way.
Last year in the tower,
he said hello
and then he then off he went.
What was he like?
Just, like
He was vivid, you know?
It was just this tiny
little moment, but
..I think about it every
second of every day.
That creature, what was it?
The Unified Intelligence Taskforce
was created to deal with
alien life forms, but
..this species isn't alien.
They're from Earth.
They were here before us.
But
What, did they die out? What?
They hibernated, underground,
and this was when the Earth was
young cos the planet reformed around
them and sealed them in.
Sometimes proof is found and we hide it.
What for?
Think about it.
They were here first,
millions of years ago,
so the planet belongs to them.
Technically, we inherited their world,
but if they're not dead
..what if they want it back?
Positive sighting! Grid 9!
We have a life form!
Let's go!
Barclay, with me!
Here, what's that? What's that?
- What's that for?
- You're the civilian witness, you record everything.
- That could be our testimony if we get killed.
- If we get
If we get what?!
At my command, arms down.
All units, arms down.
How are we on translation?
Aligned and running.
Three, two, one
Ready to calibrate, sir.
As soon as it talks,
we can capture the sound.
SCREECHES
Running translation, sir.
We are calibrated, sir.
Ready to go.
My name is General Austin Pierce.
RATTLING
..and I represent the
Unified Military Taskforce
of the Combined Nations
of the Drylands of Earth,
and I welcome you
into diplomatic concord.
Concord is a big concept.
Sorry, can we think of
another word, please?
Meeting.
I welcome you into this
diplomatic meeting.
CREATURE SCREECHES
"You killed us."
Oh, God. Oh, no
You then took two lives.
And now I suggest we stop.
CREATURE SCREECHES
"Agreed."
I hope we can meet in peace
- "Agreed."
- ..and learn from each other
"Agreed."
..and work to forge a friendship
between the land and the sea.
CREATURE SCREECHES
Is that agreed?
- "Agreed."
- Told ya.
CREATURE SCREECHES
"But
"..we do not
"..agree."
Do not agree with?
"We would talk to all your animals."
Humans.
Er, "We would talk to all humanity."
Er, no, sorry, sir, it's
..it's not "would" in the
conditional tense, sir,
it's, "We all talk. All. All of us."
Oh, my God
I-It means all of them
Repeat the declaration of peace.
Yeah, I know.
I say again
..we come in peace.
"Agreed."
PIERCE SIGHS
No, no, no, hold on, sorry.
We still haven't got
the right translation.
"We all talk" is a layered statement,
there's another concept embedded.
Could he say it again, please?
Don't refer to them as male.
I ask you to repeat
your previous statement
..for translation.
CREATURE SCREECHES
"We are talking to the whole world."
"We are talking to the
whole world right now."
Present tense.
What do they mean? In-In In what way?
BEEPING
It's happening all over the world.
All over the world, humanity
reacts to the simple fact -
the species that came
before us has woken up.
HE SPEAKS CHINESE
..and the President has called
for a new age of cooperation.
It's being called H2O Diplomacy.
The first official meeting with
Homo Aqua will begin here,
on the banks of the Thames,
inside Imperial House.
Behind me, that's the construction
that's being called the Waterway.
It's a specific demand
from Homo Aqua as a junction
between the water and the land.
Some say it's a symbol of peace.
OK, so I can't do the 17th or the 24th
and I don't know yet about the 31st.
Bloody hell! You can't do that!
That job of yours is useless.
- Kirby!
- What?
Your dad said he can't come
and get you for the next three
weekends because he's not bothered.
Is that a problem, Kirby?
No.
What about me? I've got plans
Yeah? So, anyway, I have just
put 3,000 quid in your account.
- Hope that's OK.
- What do you mean?
Like I said.
You did not. Where's that from?
Well, I got promoted, thank you,
but apparently my job's useless.
Well, if I'm getting £3,000,
how much did you get?
- Oh, that's nice.
- Mm-hm.
Well, you can get some extra cooks
in now, help with the business.
- Thank you.
- Funny thing is, with these Sea Devils,
it's got Kirby watching proper
TV again, like the old days.
Well, you can't say Sea Devils.
They're called homospondyls.
All right, don't laugh.
Don't laugh because
"homo" doesn't mean "gay".
It does if you're my age.
So Homo Aqua's Gay Water.
That's them, the Gay Waters!
That's what you've been drinking,
Kirby, too much gay water.
Shut up!
So, what's this promotion, then?
What are you doing?
Er, it's just, you know
just more admin.
Come on, this way.
General Austin Pierce in Grid B2,
Seat 1. Morning, everyone.
A very good morning to you,
General Pierce, and to everyone.
For the record and for history,
my name is Kate Lethbridge-Stewart,
Commander-in-Chief of the
Unified Intelligence Taskforce.
UNIT has been chosen to lead these
talks because we stand above
and outside all countries, borders,
governments and oceans of the world.
We represent humanity.
But today, we represent
all life on Earth.
And I hope this will be the start
of a great endeavour to find peace
between all of our kindred species.
To begin the formal proceedings,
confirm Downing Street online.
Good morning, Prime Minister.
Good morning, Kate.
Extraordinary days.
I spent a long time working
hard to get the people's vote,
now we've got new people.
White House online.
Confirmed.
Hall of the People, Beijing.
Confirmed.
National Congress of Brazil.
Confirmed.
We have all 195 nations, ma'am.
And do we have the Ambassador?
Approaching now.
Apparently, he had the
lobster thermidor last night,
against our advice.
Let's hope that's not a
major crime down below.
Thank you, Mrs Bingham.
Let's concentrate, eyes on the task.
Pardon me, ma'am.
Ah, General.
Good to see you, sir.
Very special day.
- Absolutely.
- Hmm.
Mr St Lewis, how's the Waterway?
Are we ready to go?
Stress is holding.
Seals checked and secure.
A16 has been fixed.
The only way to see if
this works is to do it.
You've got quite a crowd.
All under control.
Ma'am, we have a press drone.
Ready for that. Take them out.
GASPING
What was that?
- Paparazzi drone.
- Did they see us?
One-way glass. Didn't you read anything?
My family don't know where
I am, they'd flip!
Thanks to you, I'm not
even allowed in this room!
Very well done!
I
That's Roger Trevithick.
Prepare tank activation.
Positions, and good luck to us all.
To confirm, the
perimeter's now secure, ma'am.
- All stations at Gold Standard.
- Thank you, if you could not interrupt.
We have all comms focused
and recording, backups online.
Good, good. Mrs Bingham, let's begin.
Initiate tank activation.
And flood the tank.
Open seals one, two, three.
Open seals four, five.
Take it up to 100 PSI.
Open seals six, seven, eight.
SHOUTING
- Section 45 compromised.
- System compromised.
Emergency teams.
Void stable.
Water filtered and purity at 98%.
940,000 litres.
Well done, Mrs Bingham.
Thank you, ma'am.
Now, are we ready?
Let's welcome our guests.
Open water lock one.
Looks like we have six life forms.
And a seventh.
Four Homospondyl Erectus, AKA Homo Aqua.
Two of an unknown life form.
One of a second unknown.
Three different life forms in total.
General Pierce to all troops, red status.
Confirm Red status.
And here they come.
Two unknown life forms entering.
It's just
What are we saying?
I'd call them Piscimorpha Grandis.
Welcome to Piscimorpha Grandis.
- Does that mean "Big Fish"?
- Yup.
Focus, thank you.
That's the signal for the airlock.
Third life form approaching.
Ma'am, we don't know what
that third life form is.
Then the first gambit is
to trust them, Colonel.
Open the doors.
Activating airlock pumps.
Airlock at full capacity.
Decontamination in progress.
MURMURING
I'd say Homomorpha Sapiens
..or, to simplify, Homo Amphibian.
Oh, amazing.
They killed two of us, remember?
We killed them.
That's what this is for, to bring peace.
Ready with translations?
Up and running, ready to go.
Sir Jonathan, good luck.
HE CLEARS THROA
I, er, I bid you welcome on
behalf of the human race.
DEVICE CLICKS
I stand here as, er
We do not need translation.
Did we learn their language?
No, we did not.
Save the comments.
Well, your your English is excellent.
SPEAKS RUSSIAN
That's Russian.
HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN
Well played, old man.
I bring you greetings from the
United Nations of this world
that we call Earth.
It's a symbolic title
of Indo-European origin
that bears no disrespect
to the oceans, seas, lakes,
rivers and waterways around us.
And I bring you a gift.
Rhododendron nivale,
the dwarf snow rhododendron.
A flower that grows at the
highest point on planet Earth,
on the slopes of Mount Everest,
four miles above sea level,
perhaps never seen by your kind.
Now, it carries a scent, erm
..or a flavour, an essence that
you will have never known before.
Would you, erm?
THEY INHALE
This is given with respect and the
hope of peace between our species.
We have a gift for you.
My children.
GASPING
MURMURING
My children should have been born at
the turn of the Third Cold Current.
But they choked on your oil.
And poison.
And excrement.
Skip to 16!
Sir Jonathan, go to 16, paragraph 10.
I must state with vigour
that we recognise the problem.
Our solutions are remarkable
We do not know you.
Well, I
I am Ambassador Sir Jonathan Hynes
You are not known to us.
We would speak
..with him.
Me?!
Who the hell is he?
Well, he's nothing. He's no-one.
He He's part of the team,
he's the witness.
He's the mistake.
He was there by mistake!
Give me intel on him, now!
- Yes, ma'am.
- Right away, ma'am.
No! Sorry.
No, no.
Y-Y-Y-You You've got the wrong man.
You showed respect.
Er
No, that's just a that's just a thing.
You respected our fallen
kin when no others did.
What are they, Christians now?!
Someone tell me what's going on!
I'm not even religious.
I don't know why I did it
But we saw your kindness.
And we see you.
Will you stand as Ambassador?
And talk on behalf of
the entire human race?
VOICE BREAKS: OK.
MURMURING
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