The War Between the Land and the Water (2025) s01e02 Episode Script

REPORTER: All over the world,
humanity reacts to the simple fact
the species that came before us
was woken up.
The Unified Intelligence Taskforce
was created
to deal with alien life forms.
I haven't got clearance.
I am Grade Ten. I work in transport.
I'm a clerk.
- Almost.
- SCREECHING
The first official meeting
with Homo aqua will begin here.
My name is Kate Lethbridge-Stewart,
Commander-in-Chief of
the Unified Intelligence Taskforce.
And I hope this will be the start
of a great endeavour to find peace.
We have a gift for you.
My children.
But they choked on your oil
and poison and excrement.
I must state that
we recognise the problems
You are not known to us.
We would speak
..with him.
THUNDER CRACKS
HELICOPTER WHIRS
- Ah
- With me, please, sir.
I suggest that this, um meeting
is adjourned
- ..while we, er
- Follow me.
..while we regroup.
CHATTER
His name's Barclay Pierre-Dupont.
He's a Grade Ten who works in logistics.
- Family?
- Ex-wife and teenage child.
Bring them in,
put them in an interview room.
I want his file on my screen
by the time I get downstairs.
Kate Lethbridge-Stewart.
Yeah, I know. I book your taxis.
Sit down.
We weren't expecting this obviously.
- Me, either.
- So help me understand.
Out of nearly eight billion humans
on this planet,
why do Homo aqua want you as Ambassador?
I don't know.
What communications have you had
with Homo aqua prior to today?
None.
Never.
I mean, I had a goldfish once.
Is that relevant?
This isn't a joke, Mr Dupont.
I'm not joking.
He was called Simon.
Right now, a team of experts
are trawling through
every detail of your private life.
Every text message,
every email, every photo,
everyone you've ever met.
Barclay Pierre-Dupont, born 15.11.82.
- Get me his immediate family.
- Yes, ma'am.
Vehicles en route.
Parents, deceased.
Married Barbara Nyamai, June 2003.
Divorced November 2022.
The split was amicable.
Whatever he's done, I'm not part of it.
We're not even together!
I understand, ma'am. Sit down.
MAN: Teenage child. Kirby, 16.
Lives with the mother. Studying A-levels.
Seize all devices and bring them in
for questioning right now.
My family have got nothing
to do with this.
They don't even know I'm here.
I never asked for this to happen, OK?
But I do want to help.
And the thing is
..you need me.
Am I right?
Well, am I right?
REPORTER: The first day of H2O diplomacy
has concluded
with an abrupt change of ambassador.
REPORTERS CLAMOUR
Sir Jonathan Hynes has made
no comment over his dismissal,
and the identity of the new
ambassador has been suppressed.
This man is the most important
person on the planet.
Don't we have a right to know who he is?
We cannot allow a foreign species
to dictate our diplomacy process.
This is dangerous.
Prime Minister.
The H20 Committee will not allow a
random civilian to represent them.
Kate, you're to go back
in that room and tell her.
We choose our Ambassador and
the Committee's decision is final.
I'd do it myself,
but it doesn't look good, does it,
if I'm the one in there
when war breaks out?
Not when you can blame UNIT.
Sorry.
That's not what I meant.
Look, maybe it's better woman-to-woman.
If that's what she is.
Is that what she is?
HE STAMMERS
Please, Kate.
We're relying on you.
Thank you for
this unscheduled consultation.
I am Kate Lethbridge-Stewart,
Commander-in-Chief of
the Unified Intelligence Taskforce
and representative of the H2O Committee.
The Committee has requested urgent action
regarding the role of Human Ambassador.
Rather than appoint this civilian,
they request that you trust
in our original candidate.
You talk of trust
..while meeting in secret.
In the dark.
We would hear from the Ambassador.
Mr Dupont is unprepared.
We would hear
FORCEFULLY: from the Ambassador.
Come closer.
Hello.
Um
Do do you have a name?
Is that a thing? Cos I'm Barclay.
It's Scottish.
Well, my my gran was
my gran was Sc Scottish.
My title will not translate.
But you may call me Salt.
Salt.
Hi.
Listen, I'm just a regular guy.
I work in an office.
I don't know about diplomacy or politics.
I don't even own a decent suit
We chose you for your humanity
and compassion,
not your expertise.
Your leaders would replace you.
But what do you want?
I'm I'm fine with whatever
they decide.
No.
What do you really think?
I think
..this process is about everybody, right?
The whole world.
It's not just prime ministers
and presidents,
it's real people, like me, who worry
about their bills and their kids.
I mean, I'm a nobody.
I get it, but I think
..maybe it's time people like me
had more of a voice.
We hear you
..Ambassador.
It is decided.
Your request has been heard and denied.
Barclay will be present at dawn tomorrow,
or negotiations will end.
Oh, no.
Where are you taking me?
Huh?
What about my family?
Please, I don't want to be shot.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Are you going to kill me?
I forgot my gun.
Really?
No.
- DOOR SLAMS SHU
- Ah!
Look, look, look, look,
I'm not a spy or a collaborator.
And I wasn't disrespecting anyone,
if that's how it sounded, all right?
And my mouth, it just goes on autopilot.
I mean, the same thing happened
when I proposed to my ex.
It took me about 20 minutes
to get to the ring
Barclay.
I need someone I can work with.
Well, yeah, of co
Of course you do, yeah.
And I think I can work with you.
What?
Wait, hang on, I mean
About five minutes ago,
you were trying to get rid of me.
I have to tread carefully.
All UNIT wants is a peaceful settlement,
but there are levels and levels
of politics at play here,
international rivalries that go way back.
The truth is, I've spent my whole
life fighting for this planet.
Now, with your help
..I get to build a better world
for every one.
I don't want to let you down.
I mean, I keep thinking
about the time I mixed up the taxis
- and you ended up in
- Splott. I remember.
But Homo aqua chose you for a reason
..and I'm prepared to give you a chance.
OK, er
..so what happens now?
Now
..your life changes.
SIREN WAILS
The Ambassador's transport
now arriving at diplomatic hotel.
Clear the corridors.
SHUTTER CLICKS
Security protocols.
All delegates and diplomatic staff
are being relocated for their own safety.
But for how long?
And what about my family?
Can I call them?
- Barclay!
- Dad!
- Hey-eh.
- What the hell's going on??
I know, I know, I know, I know.
Barclay will be present at dawn
tomorrow or negotiations will end.
"We hear you."
That's what she said to him - we.
And if that's true, how was
she communicating with her people?
Maybe she's wearing an implant.
Well, they could have
shared consciousness.
Or some kind of mycorrhizal network.
Well, maybe they've mastered sound
in a way we don't understand,
using frequencies we can't even hear.
Like Mariah Carey.
SHE LAUGHS
I noticed something earlier, when
Sir Jonathan presented the flower.
Everyone focused on her, but look.
The exact moment she inhales
..they all do,
even the ones in the water
She's softening her language.
She used sarcasm,
like she's learning, adapting.
They want an everyman as Ambassador.
But is that what she is?
Cos she's extraordinary.
Those remains are en route to the lab.
And the H20 Committee are kicking off.
They want to see you.
So we're just accepting
her choice of Ambassador?
What if he's not up to it?
Their race has survived
under the sea for millennia
with centuries of social, evolutionary
and technological advantage.
She's running this show,
whether we like it or not.
Evening.
- Didn't think you were in tonight.
- DOOR CLOSES
I volunteered. Didn't want to miss this.
- Let's prep one for imaging.
- Mm-hm.
Careful.
We'll take tissue samples.
Prep some slides.
MACHINE HUMS
But you you work in admin.
You're not an Ambassador!
You couldn't even
finish your wedding speech!
Only cos your dad spilt wine all over it.
- Ugh!
- On purpose!
So you're literally the person
they're talking about on TV?
- Like, all the time.
- Yeah, but you can't say a word.
- Not to anyone.
- Who are we going to tell?
- We're prisoners!
- But Dad is famous.
OK, just look on the bright side,
look at the view.
That's It's nice.
And this room, it's amazing,
isn't it? It's huge.
Am I the only person
living in the real world right now?
What about work and school?
Kirby's got that coach trip on Thursday.
- A coach trip?!
- Yeah.
Oh, I'm glad
you've got your priorities in order.
Never mind the massive
international crisis!
Er, no, I'm not sure
the minibar's included.
Sue me.
So, if you're an Ambassador,
does that mean you get to make,
like, actual decisions?
No. God, no.
They've got like this whole
committee who writes everything,
does the policy.
I just have to read it out.
But then, like, why you?
I don't know.
- She just chose me.
- What's she like?
Well
..I mean, she's kind of like us,
but she's
Like, I don't know.
- She's beautiful.
- "Beautiful"?
- Yeah.
- She's a fish.
She's not a fish.
She's not a fish, and she's not a person.
She's something else.
Anyway, I'm not even supposed
to be talking about this.
Convenient.
Barbara, do you do you really
think I asked for this?
I have no idea,
because it turns out my ex-husband,
who can't even assemble
flat-pack furniture
Furniture, God.
..is a secret agent who lied about
his job and is now saving the world!
So excuse me if I have questions.
I'm making the most of this massive bath.
HE SIGHS
DOOR SLIDES SHU
We're putting an enormous amount
of pressure on one man.
I hope he's up to it.
My father taught me
to rely on instinct over intel.
Trust my gut.
He'd say
HE SPEAKS ARABIC
He sounds very wise, your dad.
He is.
You should meet him.
What does your instinct say?
Oh, I've seen ordinary people
achieve extraordinary things.
But they're usually travelling
with The Doctor.
And Barclay has you by his side.
The oceans cover 71%
of this planet's surface.
The human race
is quite literally surrounded.
And if it comes to war
..I wonder if we even stand a chance.
Let me take your mind off it.
Are those tissue samples ready?
Yep, two seconds.
INDISTINCT CONVERSATION
THUNDER RUMBLES
You're late.
Your citizenship is approved.
Welcome to Britain.
What about my mother?
Hey! What about my mother?!
THUNDER RUMBLES
Thanks, Maria. Hello, darling.
Can't stop. Gallery opens Friday
and Sue's got Covid.
- It's been chaos.
- OK. Fill me in later, yeah?
Yeah. Oh, your guests,
they're waiting in the dining room.
Generals, sorry to keep you.
Hey, take your time.
Look at this spread.
Homo aqua tissue samples.
Know thine enemy.
Oh, I haven't eaten all day.
We know what they're
going to ask for, right?
- HE CHUCKLES
- What do we do?
Don't worry. Leave the fish to us.
It'll be the death
of the energy industry.
Of your livelihood.
We've run simulations.
Look at the impact of wars and
the pandemic on Western economies
and multiply that by a hundred.
We'll be sliding into recession.
The public are already panicked.
My mother was in the bank today,
emptying her account.
- Yeah, which one?
- THEY CHUCKLE
The President's sole focus is to protect
the stability of the US economy.
Mine is to protect my companies.
That's what we hoped you'd say.
But, with UNIT running the diplomacy,
there's constant opposition.
Hmm. Kate Lethbridge-Stewart
has influence
with the H2O Committee
and with your Prime Minister.
Not to worry. Harry's attentions
are divided at the moment,
and he always listens
to his biggest donor.
Good.
We'll need you onside when we brief him.
Oh, you had me at recession.
THEY LAUGH
PHONE PINGS
Oh, shi
REPORTERS CLAMOUR
How's he on the news?
He's supposed to be a secret.
REPORTER: The H2O Diplomacy Committee
are denying all interview requests.
The only thing we do know
about Barclay Pierre-Dupont,
our new Ambassador,
is that the world is watching.
RADIO: Copy that. The route is clear.
The route is clear.
Go on, Dad!
KEYPAD BEEPS
Morning, Colonel. Mrs Bingham.
- Commander.
- What do we know about the leak?
The photo was emailed to the press
by an anonymous source.
Except I've cross-matched the image
with CCTV from the hotel.
The photographer was
General Dominique Dussolier,
the French representative.
Quelle surprise!
She's been undermining Nato
since she first drew breath.
And if she discredits UNIT,
she gets more influence
over the H20 Committee.
Get the French Ambassador on the phone.
I'm in the mood for a bollocking.
Press Association is still
demanding access to the Hall.
I'm not sure we want to get them offside.
Fine, let them in. But no live TV.
50 people maximum, and anyone
who steps out of line gets barred.
I'm sorry, General Dussolier, your
access to the hall has been revoked.
Come with us, please.
C'est inadmissible.
Vous pouvez pas me refuser l'entree.
Just stick to the text
on your screen and you'll be fine.
Keep your body language and your
vocal tone neutral at all times.
No crossed arms, no raised voice,
no sign of aggression or impatience.
Everything you say or do or think
has to come through us.
What's the point of being Ambassador
if all I'm doing is reading?
There is a team of 43 people
working round the clock
on this document
UN diplomats and wartime negotiators
vetting every last syllable.
Prime ministers, presidents, royalty.
Frankly, it's a miracle
we got past the contents page.
You cannot go rogue.
- Are we ready?
- We're all behind you.
Well, yeah, literally.
I'm the one standing up there.
You can do this.
- Oh, God.
- HE EXHALES HEAVILY
I can't stop shaking.
Tell the press no camera flashes,
and keep an eye on Barclay's obs.
Blood pressure 138 over 90. Bit high.
Pulse is 82 and steady.
Is Downing Street online?
- Prime Minister?
- Yes, we're here.
All right. Good luck, everyone.
Mrs Bingham?
Open seals.
WHIRRING
Ambassador, are you OK?
Ambassador?
- Barclay?
- Mm? Yeah?
Oh, sorry.
Yes, yes, yes, I'm here. It's me.
Hello again.
That's not scripted.
Barclay.
- Sorry.
- HE CLEARS THROA
I bid you welcome, Ambassador,
and bring to session
this diplomatic congress.
On behalf of all nations,
I would like to say
..how sorry I am about your children.
Are you a parent?
Yes, yes, he's a parent.
Teenage child, Kirby.
Barclay, just say yes.
Yes.
I can't imagine
what that was like for you.
Your apology is appreciated.
Now back to the text, please.
We begin today by hearing proposals
to formalise our peace treaty.
But first
..we request
..a glass of water.
Um, is
Well, it's Is is that?
Can we?
Water from the river.
From the river?
What? They drink river water?
Barclay, read the screen.
Er, we will arrange that immediately.
Go, go, go!
SIREN WAILS
Move, let's go! Come on!
If, er, I could return
to the agenda, we'd like
We will wait.
OK.
Oh, OK. They they said OK.
Defensive formation.
In and out, quick as you can.
Keep your eyes on the water!
Don't turn your back, not for one second.
The glass requires decontamination.
Shall I place it in the airlock?
The water is not for us.
It is for you.
Sorry Sorry, I don't
I don't understand.
You will drink it.
Hold on, Barclay.
Get me intel on that water.
You will drink.
Er
Just, like, actually drink it?
E. coli's guaranteed.
Dysentery, meningitis
and Legionnaires' disease.
Barclay, do not drink the water.
But what do I say?
Stand by.
Um, with respect,
I am unable to drink this.
Why?
- The water is contaminated.
- Why?
She knows why. Skip to 16, paragraph 12.
We're aware of the current
pollution crisis and are putting
These are the words of a politician
vetted and craven and hollow.
You would answer.
Barclay, stick to the script.
Barclay.
Ambassador, refer to your screen.
Why?
Barclay, no!
Because we were stupid.
That's the truth of it.
And the whole planet's
going to hell right now
because we didn't understand
the consequences.
But now you do.
Yeah.
Yeah, now we do.
This is too risky.
No, wait.
Still, every day,
water companies are pumping poison
and sewage into our rivers and oceans,
all the while dishing out bonuses
to their bosses.
And the thing is, we are
letting them get away with it!
We're just sat at home, flicking
through our phones, making tea,
thinking it's someone else's problem!
But it's not. This is my fault.
We all played our part.
Now we have to help fix it.
And the thing is, our kids know this!
Our kids.
They're way ahead of us!
Why aren't we listening?
Well, today's the day we start.
I think you are my favourite human.
HE LAUGHS INCREDULOUSLY
CROWD CLAMOURS
Come on.
Oh, I feel amazing!
I'm sorry, but but I do.
It's like it's like I want to run.
I just want to
I just want to run for miles.
- I've got so much energy right now!
- Run!
- What?
- You're ridiculous.
- You know, I was thinking about you today.
- Me?
When I was standing up there
like a lemon,
I was thinking about
all those things you'd told me,
- you and your hippy mates.
- Well, they're not hippies,
and that's not even a word any more,
so
Well, I just wish
that I'd listened sooner.
But I'm listening now, I promise you.
- LAUGHING: Who even are you?
- Oh!
I don't know, but I like it.
You're on telly again.
You're always on telly, aren't you?
They're calling you passionate.
- "Passionate"!
- Yeah, that's me.
You haven't been passionate
since Christmas 2010.
- Oh, oh!
- Oi, Oi!
THEY LAUGH
I need a drink.
Here. Tastes better than river water.
Mm.
Do you know, it just hit me just now.
This is history in the making.
Right now. And I'm part of it.
I'm a I'm a historical figure.
- It's crazy, isn't it?
- OK.
So what's she like, then,
your fishy ambassador?
- Are you jealous?
- Please!
She is.
You are. You're jealous.
Can we order room service now?
Sure.
I'll have the fish.
The H2O Committee have prepped new
models for environmental regulation.
The Greens have been trying to
achieve these targets for decades.
That timeframe will be a challenge.
The H2O Committee consulted
with industry on that.
Moving on, the French consulate
have lodged an official complaint
over General Dussolier's
removal from the hall.
- They want her reinstated.
- Tough. They've seen the evidence.
She's denying it, and she has influence.
I think it'd be dangerous
to shut her out.
Fine. Fine. We've got bigger problems.
Meanwhile, we've been debating
communication theories,
how the Homo aqua Ambassador
is able to send
and receive information
seemingly instantaneously.
Yeah, we're looking into
oceanic mycelium networks.
Mycelium? Well,
that's the mushrooms, right?
Mushrooms are the reproductive
organs of mycelium networks.
Wait, I'm eating
reproductive organs on my toast?
Mycelium networks are the fungal threads
believed to connect
individual plants and trees
to share and recycle vital minerals.
A lot of these theories are debatable.
Yes, I know. But if algae and fungi
interact in a similar way
when in water, or if water itself
forms some kind of network
Homo aqua, Amphibia, Grandis
all these species could
potentially be interconnected.
Like a hive mind?
What if the pearl
is their connection point?
Or filter.
God, they're so far ahead of us,
it's difficult to comprehend.
We're literally children
playing guessing games.
DEVICE PINGS
Dad?
Couldn't sleep?
WHISPERS: Thank you.
I just read your big speech again.
Mm-hm?
It's more of a ramble.
It made me
It me made me proud, though.
Really?
But, with all the attention,
are you going to be safe doing this?
- Yeah, course.
- Do you promise?
Yes.
Promise.
They're moving you out of here tomorrow,
putting you in a proper safe house,
away from all this.
OK?
I'd rather stay here with you.
The whole world's changing, Dad.
Well, maybe it needed to.
Maybe it's for the best.
Your family will be moved
to a safe house this morning.
We're separating civilians
from diplomatic staff.
I know. Can I see them before they go?
- No, sorry, you're here all day.
- Barclay, hi. Rose-Marie Hunt.
- Nice suit.
- No interviews.
What can you tell us
about Homo aqua's demands?
How confident are you
that we can achieve what they want?
How are you coping under the pressure?
And what happens if you mess this up?
Hiya.
Text on screen, please.
Once again, I bid you welcome.
And bring to session
this diplomatic congress.
World leaders have consulted
with climate scientists
and private enterprise
on the subject of ocean pollution.
We can guarantee a 50% reduction by 2065.
Further reduction
will then be exponential.
2065?
Correct.
50%.
Yes.
Explain.
It will take time
to raise the finance and resources
to tackle the problem,
but world governments are committed
to making it a priority.
40 years?
Yes.
This is unacceptable.
An operation of this scale
will stretch our resources
to their limits.
We regret we cannot guarantee
a significant reduction
of ocean pollution
in a shorter timeframe.
So this is your final offer?
You've waited millions of years
beneath the ocean.
Now we are asking
for just 40 more years to reset,
to give you what you want.
You are asking
..for 15,000 revolutions of the Sun
..when scores of us are dying every day.
Should we wait
..while your engines deafen us
..while your trawlers ravage our home
..while we choke on your plastic
and sewage?
We cannot hear,
or see,
or breathe.
So tell me why we should live like this
for just one day longer.
HE WHISPERS: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I believe that you are sorry.
But are your leaders?
The world is united in its desire
for meaningful change.
Do they wish
..that they could achieve this sooner?
Yes, of course.
Do they want
..to accelerate this process?
We are committed to undoing the damage
we have inflicted on our planet.
How committed?
It is our greatest desire.
Then we shall grant it.
Sorry, what do you mean?
Your greatest desire
..is happening.
THUNDER RUMBLES
CRASHING, RUMBLING
What's happening?
I don't know.
RUMBLING, CRASHING
Do you hear that?
Is it a storm?
That's no storm.
It's plastic.
Mum Mum!
Oh, my God!
PEOPLE SCREAM
Turn the car around.
Turn it around! Get us out of here!
It's happening everywhere all at once.
The plastic's coming out of
the oceans into our cities.
It's not just the oceans,
it's coming out of the Thames,
out of the Nile, the Hudson.
Lock down the building.
Get everyone to the lower levels.
Quick as you can. Come on.
Come on, move it!
- Stop looking! Come on, clear the room!
- Keep going, keep going!
Barclay, we need to leave.
Right now. Come on.
Now!
You have to stop!
We are cleaning up your mess!
PHONE RINGS
Oh wait, wait, wait, wait. You OK?
Barclay, what's happening??
They're cleaning up the ocean.
The plastic, the pollution, all of it.
- They're giving it back.
- We're in a car, it's chaos.
- What? You're outside?!
- We can't get to the safe house.
- We can't cross the river.
- Oh, for God's sake!
Just Just, er Just
Just come to the hall.
Tell the driver it's Imperial House.
Imperial House.
Can you take us to Imperial House?
ENGINE ROARS, TYRES SQUEAL
- There's nowhere to go!
- Don't worry, OK?
We're getting out
THEY YELP
CRASHING, SHE SCREAMS
Kirby, listen to me.
We have to run for it,
but I need to help the driver.
- Is he? Is he?
- No, don't look at him! Listen!
Get out and run in there
and find your dad.
I'll be right behind you.
Promise me! Just run!
- I-I promise.
- Go!
PLASTIC PATTERS
RUMBLING
CAR ALARM HONKS
Hey.
Can you hear me?
I'm so sorry.
CAR ALARM CONTINUES
PHONE RINGS
- Barclay!
- Where are you?
We're here. Find Kirby! They're outside!
CAR ALARM CONTINUES
Kirby!
Kirby!
PLASTIC PATTERS
HE GRUNTS
HE GASPS
Get down!
- You OK?
- Yeah.
Let's go!
- Barclay!
- Come on! Come on, come on, come on!
Quick! Go, go, go, go, go!
Go, go, go! Come on, come on!
Reports are coming in
from all over the world,
from dozens of major cities
DISTANT ALARMS BLARE
All across Manhattan,
the sky is raining plastic.
SPEAKS MANDARIN
SPEAKS RUSSIAN
Police have issued a directive.
The streets are not safe.
Everyone should stay indoors.
Do not go outside.
What have they done?
They're declaring war.
REPORTER: 114 years after she began
her maiden voyage,
the Titanic has finally reached
her destination.
Just one of the impossible sights
on the streets of New York today.
Streets that are now unrecognisable.
World leaders have called for calm
as the clean-up operation begins.
Major cities around the world
remain paralysed,
with a damage bill
in the hundreds of billions.
Former Albion Party leader
Felix Gladstock
has branded Storm H2O
as "a call to arms".
Every citizen of this planet
is now at war!
It is time to unite
against the common enemy, Homo aqua.
VOICES ECHO, OVERLAP: Out of nearly
eight billion humans on this planet,
why do Homo aqua want you as ambassador?
- We would hear from the Ambassador.
- Find Kirby!
All we want is a peaceful settlement.
- We would hear from the Ambassador!
- They're declaring war.
- She's a fish.
- KATE: Barclay?
You work in admin,
you're not an ambassador!
Keep your body language and your
vocal tone neutral at all times.
Everything you say or do
has to come through us.
KATE: Barclay?
We are cleaning up your mess!
KATE: Barclay!
Ambassador
..we approached
this congress in good faith,
but your actions have jeopardised
the diplomatic process.
Humanity wants
a peaceful settlement, not war.
This war began a long time ago,
and it was started by you.
Now we have simply returned
what is yours.
HE SIGHS
Look, there's words here
I'm supposed to say,
but the fact is you're cleverer
than we are. That's obvious.
- He's off script again.
- This is like working with the Doctor!
Look, I understand why you did this.
Really I-I do.
But it was a mistake.
People were hurt.
And my family were out there,
and they could've died!
Now things are worse.
We're scared.
When humans are scared,
they do terrible things.
Are you threatening us?
No, no. No, no, no.
No, definitely not, no. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. No, I'm not.
Enough, Barclay. I mean it, or
God help me, I'll come down there.
Get back to the text.
The United Nations of the Earth
demand an armistice agreement,
with immediate effect,
for the duration of these talks
to safeguard humanity and protect
a path towards long-term peace.
There will be three conditions.
One, that pollution of oceans
and waterways ceases
with immediate effect.
We were expecting this.
Addendum two, paragraph one.
World governments are working
with industry
on urgent solutions to this crisis.
Our second requirement
is formal designation of borders.
Prepared for that too. OK, this is good.
We are happy to consider
large areas of all seas
that are exclusive to Homo aqua.
Areas are not acceptable to us.
We require all water.
What does she mean? Clarify that.
Sorry, all water?
The entirety of all oceans and waterways.
Sorry. Excuse me. We're an island nation.
Are we permitted passage
across the oceans?
No.
The human race evolved to live on land,
not in the waters or the sky.
She said sky.
D-Do they want the skies now?
You live in the ocean.
The skies are not your concern!
The air above the ocean is the ocean.
This is our space.
Are you seeking to ground
all air transport?
Transport over land is your concern.
Transport across water
will not be permitted.
But that's ridiculous!
Barclay, you're losing control.
Trade between continents
is an essential function
of the modern world!
Yes! Our continent
relies on food imports!
We will take questions
from the Ambassador.
Barclay
There's no prep for this.
We don't have responses.
You are amphibian! You don't own the sky!
You cannot starve our people!
We will take questions from
the Ambassador!
- You're holding us hostage!
- What about the Channel Tunnel?
The world cannot function
without cross-continental travel.
How dare you! How dare you come in here
and dictate the future of the human race!
You are condemning developing
countries to death!
- ENOUGH!
- FEEDBACK ECHOES
MALE VOICE: We will take questions
from the Ambassador only.
- Whoa.
- Voice has changed.
Her intonation is male.
Never mind the voice.
Look at him.
I'm getting spikes in testosterone,
cortisol and ketotestosterone.
What, so she's a man now?
- I
- I don't know.
Sorry.
They Th-They're sorry.
They'll They'll shut up.
Sit down
..and shut up!
- How's she doing that?
- Incredible.
Like I said, people are scared.
They fear what they don't understand.
They don't mean to offend.
Well done, Barclay.
We'll need time.
These proposals aren't something
we can solve in days or weeks,
or even months.
But while we negotiate,
we insist on a formal armistice to
maintain peace between our species.
We have given two conditions
for this armistice.
There is a third.
And it is simple.
We stand here
in your rooms of concrete and steel
and dust and light,
burning our eyes and our lungs
..and we will endure no more.
So our next meeting
..will be here
- Atlantic Ocean.
- How are they doing this?
Check those co-ordinates.
North of the Equator,
just off the coast of West Africa.
Is it an island?
- No.
- They want to meet on a ship?
What's the third co-ordinate?
South, west What's M?
Barclay, that's open water. Please
clarify the third co-ordinate.
Your metric unit for length and depth.
You would like us to meet
..underwater?
You talk of peace and equality.
So prove your commitment
..and meet us in our world.
Romanche Trench, one of the deepest
waterways on the planet.
25,000 feet. Five miles down.
Manned submersibles have
imploded in less than half that.
Barclay, don't agree to anything.
Will you meet us, Barclay,
at the bottom of the ocean?
OK.