The West Wing s05e16 Episode Script

Eppur Si Muove

Previously on The West Wing: So tomorrow's the big day.
- What? - Mystery Ben.
- What about him? - Coming to say hello.
- No, he isn't.
- He's in town and called.
- You gave him an appointment? - He seemed nice.
- He is nice.
Very nice.
Also very married.
- Not anymore.
I wanted to give you a heads-up.
- I'm gonna start volunteering.
- Volunteering? - Washington Free Clinic.
- You're gonna practice medicine again? I'll be helping out a bit.
I'm sorry.
Are you licensed to practice medicine? I voluntarily chose to stop practicing, C.
J.
I never said I was hanging up my stethoscope for good.
Preliminary results indicate an alarmingly high prevalence of infection.
U.
S.
rates are 14 percent, whereas of patient volunteers we investigated 48 percent tested positive for HPV.
Take a message.
And bring me the PCR data as well.
Dr.
Foy's office.
I'm sorry, Dr.
Foy isn't available.
Hold on a sec.
Congressman Bentley's office.
They're reviewing one of your NIH grants.
Thanks.
Lewis Foy.
That's very nice.
I'm sorry, which congressman? Which project? Let me put you on speaker so I can find my grants file.
The congressman is especially impressed with your work on Wait, I have it right here.
Human papilloma virus in commercial sex workers in San Juan, Puerto Rico.
But why the interest in Puerto Rico? Why focus on sex workers? Is that really of scientific value? I just submitted my noncompeting renewal.
- Ellie? - Confirm your home address? - He needs you.
- How is that relevant? The address we have is 536 Washburn Lane.
Are you a registered voter, sir? Our records indicate that you're a registered Democrat.
- How's that your business? - Can you tell me who you voted for? Maybe she's overreacting.
Maybe I'm overreacting.
- Maybe.
- He never mentioned her.
He never made reference to her working in the lab.
Okay.
The old "Let's lift up this rock, see if we find something wiggling underneath.
" Just happened to be her rock.
She's so sensitive.
You know she'd freak if anyone even hints at nepotism.
- Tell me this is nothing to worry about.
- This is nothing to worry about.
Toby.
- Which congressman was it? - Bentley.
House Reform.
How many U.
S.
research labs come with the president's daughter? Whether they invoked her or not, they wouldn't call unless they had something.
Somebody's out for blood, and they're targeting Ellie Bartlet.
Ben will be here at 1.
I got the back table at 1789.
I told him to wear the painter's pants so you won't be tempted to jump him.
- He has a meeting at 3.
- Nice work.
Those would have to be seriously hideous painter's pants.
Now that you slept on it, the call to Foy wasn't about Ellie I have a happy day? - Now that I slept on it, it's worse.
In the governor's mansion she got $5 allowance for doing a boatload of chores.
- He isn't steering money to his daughter.
- Not the president, us.
Some overeager NIH lackey trying to curry favor.
This conversation would be easier were I not fighting through a cloud of Obsession.
There's no cloud.
It's about to precipitate out, rain Obsession.
I've got a brief.
I'll get a breakdown of Foy's funding.
Hope like hell it hasn't gone up since Ellie started working in his lab.
- I'll call Mike Rafter, House committee.
- Thank you.
It's not about you.
I'd do anything to avoid using "Mr.
President" and "your daughter" in the same sentence.
What did you think of the Lawrence opinion? You keeping track of the court these days? When I'm not color-coding the president's M&M's.
Still smarting I had to carry your ass through Con Law? You didn't have to carry.
You thought strict scrutiny was a pickup technique.
Hey, it worked on Pam Sussman.
I mean, not that well.
How is your lovely wife? She's good.
So Georgetown offered me dean of the law school.
That's great.
Except, aren't you a judicial nominee for the 6th Circuit? I've been a nominee for 12 months.
You knew the confirmation process was an uphill battle.
Uphill battle? It's a permanent gag order.
I can't write, I can't publish.
Hell, I can't even debate cases with my students.
Not to mention I've had a bull's eye on my back for 12 months.
They called my wife, my brother, my ex-girlfriend.
These things take time.
Republicans have blocked your nominations since you took office.
Drop out, you close this door forever.
I'm not sure this door was ever open.
- When does Georgetown need to know? - No, don't do this to me.
- End of the week.
- Give me till then.
- To do what? - To fix it.
They said they'd call back.
You told Congressman Bentley it was the White House calling? Toby Ziegler? From the White House? Maybe you're running out of shizzle.
I looked up his funding on the NIH's public website.
The money for last year is the same as before Ellie started working.
Okay, $ 14 more.
Maybe they gave him a new trash can.
Try Bentley again Iook at not-so-direct ways we'd send money in Dr.
Foy's direction and please don't say "shizzle.
" Mrs.
Bartlet ditched the board of regents meeting? You find her smoking at the Smithsonian? She was working at the clinic, sent a proxy but Chairwoman Dorthea Lodge is mad and threatening to go to the press.
Mad she had to go to the regents meeting.
We've got an image problem.
The stories aren't dying down.
The press doesn't know what to do with the first lady.
Nobody does, including the president.
He'd like you to sit down with her.
- Happy to help.
- She's in the Mural Room.
Now? I have a Had a lunch.
I'm just gonna go cancel it.
Are you wearing White Shoulders? My piano teacher used to wear White Shoulders.
Not as much.
Hi.
Hi.
Long time.
Yeah.
- You look great.
- You too.
Sorry, Ben.
I can't have lunch.
I don't have a lot of time.
But you did the dance, you paid your dues.
I want you to know that I'm in.
- What? - Coy is a bad color on me.
I'm ready.
I'm onboard.
I want you to count me in, because I'm in.
I gotta go.
Call me later.
- Hey, did you get Leo? - He's booked.
Tell Margaret I can talk so fast it won't take measurable time.
- I'm waiting for Rodney.
- Who? - Ryan's roommate.
- Ryan's got a roommate? He's checking if Ryan's in his room.
He didn't show today, it's not like him.
Really? Because that seems exactly like him.
He's never late.
He walks in like he's late, but he's not.
Like you're on a train and the train next to you is pulling away, only it Rodney's taking a long time.
- Do you think he went back to sleep? - That, or he's dead now too.
Get me Leo.
So, what was it? The tube top to meet the queen of England or the low-rise jeans for the North Korean delegation? The press didn't know what to make of you before the MS became public.
You've never been the traditional, hat-knitting president's wife.
Oh, shoot.
Was that in the handbook? Maybe if you just get me a photographer and seven years' worth of yarn.
Tell me why you decided to volunteer at the clinic.
Instead of putting out a press release, I decided to help treat children.
- Is there any? - There are a number of children's health issues I'm interested in.
I thought it was appropriate to go out and see what was going on firsthand.
Great.
But until the press understands, they're gonna fill in the blanks with self-aggrandizing, vote-grabbing Would you like me to do interviews with the press? No.
They're the most cynical bastards on the planet.
You need to get beyond the Washington echo chamber to the people.
So, what did you have in mind? I checked out the reject list from your invitation file.
There are a few I think you should reconsider.
The first is Muppets.
Pardon? Sesame Street gives you an opportunity to reintroduce yourself as the first lady who is also a doctor and address questions about the clinic.
Give a Muppet a checkup, get your message out.
No Meet the Press? - Mrs.
Bartlet - Don't think I could take Russert? Why? Five people watch, and it's the toughest interview in the world.
I want you on the Surgery Channel, in Women 's Health, the Today show.
Mrs.
Russell's approval ratings bumped when she did her cooking segment.
Her chili was so good, they're having her back for Christmas.
You trying to raise my competitive hackles? If I were trying to raise your competitive hackles I'd make you watch Diane Sawyer's duet with Cookie Monster.
Muppets? I wanna set a meeting with the Judiciary Committee's chief of staff.
That's a productive use of time.
Eric Hayden's gonna withdraw from the nomination process.
- Sixth Circuit's got eight empty seats.
- For a year and a half.
Because Republicans held up our nominations in committee.
- What else is new? - At least four of those nominees including Hayden, would be confirmed in a straight up-or-down vote if they got out of committee and onto the floor.
In the judicial branch, the seven remaining judges on the circuit are totally overworked, and the cases keep growing.
If Hayden withdraws You wanna make him the justice-held-hostage poster boy? I bet Republicans on the Judiciary Committee don't.
- How can they block qualified? - They blocked nominations since Roe.
A judge has an opinion on the right to privacy it's grounds for killing the nomination.
You think you just waltz in, knock on a few pipes and fix the plumbing? - The 6th Circuit - It's one lousy appellate court.
Hayden and the eight empty seats on the circuit epitomize the problem.
- You think it's time to do something? - Lunatics, I'm surrounded by lunatics.
I'm gonna set up the meeting.
I got 10 bucks says you're banging your head against the sink.
Twenty.
That's what I figured you'd say, Mike, but thanks for checking.
- Your friend couldn't help? - My friend's a Democrat.
No one on House Reform who knows anything talks to him.
- What do you got? - Bupkis.
Unless Foy got some of the $2 billion Bartlet earmarked for AIDS research.
Foy's funding didn't come from that money.
If this is the president's favoritism, Dr.
Foy should find a new sugar daddy.
- Where's Bentley? - I tried again.
His assistant promised he'd call soon as he gets off the floor.
He's not on the floor.
There's no more votes today.
- the field for exploration.
Now, if somebody wants to do a study on depression in childless lesbians I can 't stop them.
It's Barbara Layton.
And there's Bentley, standing right next to her.
- zero benefit? - Get C.
J.
- I have a list of 255 projects supported by the Bartlet administration - C.
J.
, it's Toby.
- Tell him I'm already watching.
$ 1,788,000.
- Dr.
Lewis Foy - Damn it.
studied papilloma virus in commercial sex workers She has a list.
She made a list.
Haven't lists gone out with McCarthy and Hula-Hoops? Haven't these scientists gone through a review process before getting a dollar? They knew about Ellie.
Bentley and Layton knew if they questioned Dr.
Foy Ellie would contact us and we'd come knocking hard and fast.
And I walked right into it.
It's a full attack and Layton won't stop until she gets a televised investigation.
Layton doesn't care about science? Didn't care about artistic expression, then helped dismantle the NEA.
Let's put out a neutral statement saying the White House has no role in the NIH review process, refer all comments to NIH.
We might want the fight.
We just gotta find out what it is first.
Rena! Get me a copy of that list! I'm right here.
Find out everything you can about the projects and the investigators how the list was put together.
Get on the NIH website, look for keywords in project titles like "heroin," "men who sleep with men.
" - They're coming after us.
- Yeah.
We can't put our pieces on the board until we know the game.
Just don't do anything.
Don't say anything.
We don't want Ellie's name spilling out because we pressed the wrong button.
We don't respond, it looks like we have no response.
- I'll need a party line.
- I'll talk to Leo.
- No, no.
Not one of the daughters.
- They haven't involved Ellie yet.
What happens if he finds out she's getting dragged into a political tar pit? We won't get him to focus on his breakfast order because he'll be asking for the launch codes.
What's C.
J.
think? We should hang back with a neutral statement.
Hiding under the covers isn't gonna work.
Margaret! Set up a meeting with Toby and Layton for tomorrow morning.
Let's see if we can't negotiate our way out.
The meeting's a statement.
Our guys'll think we've caved, her folks will crow.
She's not sitting down unless she comes out with a pound of flesh.
That's why I gave you till tomorrow.
- The NSC principals are in the Sit Room.
- Thanks.
I'm sorry, but can we really justify spending $800,000 on "The Biocultural Approach to the Study of Female Sexual Fantasy and Genital Arousal"? How can we afford not to? The president wonders if you'll join him at the reception for Congressman Scaia.
You bet.
Mrs.
Bartlet, people are talking, and I was wondering if you could confirm Yes, Debbie.
The Muppets are coming to our very own White House.
I had the good fortune of seeing Judy Garland live at Carnegie Hall but Miss Piggy here, it's just too much.
- Debbie's a big fan.
- And you're not? I'm crazy for Muppets.
I'm just trying to act cool.
Ma'am, will Fozzie Bear be in the house? Interestingly, Fozzie and Miss Piggy aren't actually part of the Sesame Street gang.
- They're from The Muppet Show.
- What about Kermit? He is the only crossover.
Set me a meeting with the Judiciary chief of staff.
- Lisa Wolfe? - We're gonna put butts in seats.
- I'm packing the court.
- Because of Eric Hayden.
Because of Eric Hayden, the 6th Circuit's in crisis because the judicial nomination process is a mess.
Is this a "do something impossible to impress the one guy who impresses you and stole your girl in law school" thing? He didn't steal my girl.
Pam was cute, but when I saw she had eyes for Hayden, I bowed out.
Nothing I take more seriously than getting judges on the federal bench.
How about getting judges on the Supreme Court? This is the problem.
It's always about the Supreme Court.
Nine guys getting all the ink.
It's seven guys and two qualified female jurists.
The Supreme Court sees 80 cases a year.
These guys see close to 20,000.
Circuit courts make 99 percent of judge-made law.
That is important.
You should fix that.
Ryan's still missing, by the way.
What do C.
J.
and Big Bird have in common? This'll be fun.
No one's ever made a joke about me and Big Bird.
Your heads are in Ohio, your feet are in Florida.
Wouldn't that make us not so much tall as crooked? Maybe.
Is this Layton thing gonna stick? It's too soon to tell.
Hard to imagine she'll get any kind of traction.
If I had a nickel for every Republican bloviating about our pansy-ass priorities - They do love to bloviate.
- I mean, isn't that what the floor is for? Anyway You want insight into Layton, Toby's tangled with her.
No, I was just Thanks.
- Josh.
- Hello, Lisa.
Let's talk about the 6th Circuit.
Not much to talk about.
Court's got eight empty seats.
- And not a single confirmable nominee.
- Really? Seems like Eric Hayden's probably good for 53 yeas on the Senate floor.
That seems unlikely.
You heard he's planning to withdraw? - No.
But it wouldn't surprise me.
- It surprised me.
The public will be shocked if they hear what the committee's doing to the circuit.
Protecting the most important courts from being overrun by the Green Party? The Green Party? Hayden gave a speech on gay rights five years ago.
He said the court should make sodomy laws unconstitutional.
The court just made sodomy laws unconstitutional.
Yes.
Let me tell you, our base was thrilled with that decision.
The press is already writing about the state of the 6th Circuit.
It's time to fix this thing.
It's in both our interests.
Talk more.
- We start with Hayden.
- And the 6th Circuit.
You show good faith, we'll sit down, knock back a few beers and see what we can do to fix the greater problem.
Okay.
If you wanna convince Republicans on the committee we're starting anew you need new nominees.
Confirm Hayden.
We'll discuss it.
- They have to fill some seats eventually.
- I don't think so.
- They can't hold out forever.
- They can hold out for three years.
They can't.
For six months, they've left half the seats on the 6th Circuit empty.
The seats on the 6th Circuit? How about 15 percent of the federal bench? - What? - A hundred and twenty vacant seats.
A hundred and twenty empty robes during the last Republican presidency.
Didn't hear Governor Bartlet complaining then.
Think I like this? Think I think this is the way our government should function? I'm a Republican, and I've spent every day of the past five years wondering whether judges shouldn't be appointed by executive decree.
It's a political process.
You wanna fill the 6th Circuit, you've gotta send us someone we can confirm.
The assistants in Layton's office were so happy to give me the list I swear I heard a band playing.
So why should we study female sex workers at truck stops? Well, what's the purpose of the study? To improve and protect public health scientists have a responsibility to study whatever will lead to answers.
- And we have to pay for it? - Yeah.
- lf conducted ethically and have merit.
- But you said scientists "Doesn't approve of HIV being spread through sexual contact.
" "Drug addicts have made bad personal choices.
" One congresswoman doesn't get to appoint herself God.
- Anything else? - Yes.
I did a Google search for these project titles.
The same website keeps coming up.
I'm sorry.
So I'm supposed to raise my kid on $650 a week and shell out for research on safe injection practices among heroin users? Yes.
You have a kid? Yeah, I have a little girl.
- The Traditional Values Alliance? - They represent church groups.
Yeah, some 50,000 of them.
It's the same list.
Get me Mack McCall from the Traditional Values Alliance on the phone.
Now.
Where's my 20 bucks? How do you feel about executive decrees? Love them.
I'm making one.
I want my money.
Hold on there.
I wanna talk about recess appointments.
- A recess appointment.
- Not just one, eight of them.
Every vacant seat on the 6th Circuit.
- Fork it over.
- Leo.
The appointments only last nine months.
Then we nominate them again, we're back to square one.
It's not square one.
We increase public awareness, we reexamine the process.
We have a Whiskey Rebellion on the floor.
In response, we circulate a complete bio of every one of our judges and let the country decide who's right.
If we have a national debate, it's gotta be on our terms.
Somebody's gonna ask if it's constitutional.
Justice Warren thought so.
- Earl Warren approved? - Earl Warren was one.
Along with Brennan and Potter Stewart.
I'll run it up the flagpole.
Here you go.
I don't know.
C.
J.
and Big Bird are so tall that what? - You do cartwheels - We kick God's chin? We trip, hit our heads on the Moon? Do pushups, burn our backs on the Sun? - And you read The Tall Street Journal.
- Go away.
Dems scheduled special-order speeches in defense of pure science.
Pro-family groups are coming to Layton's defense.
A letter signed by 237 members of the National Academy of Sciences calling the list scientific McCarthyism and the head of the NIH just put out a statement.
"I have ordered an immediate review of all relevant projects.
" Great.
There's a whole new Sesame Street since my girls were little.
Gordon and Susan got married.
Maria has a daughter that's almost grown.
- What about Bob? - Bob is still there.
He looks fantastic.
You have a handsome man in your doorway.
- Carol? - He really needed to talk to you.
Hello.
I'm Abbey Bartlet.
- Ben Dryer, ma'am.
- Yes, but who are you to our C.
J.
? Well, that's an excellent question, Mrs.
Bartlet.
- Would you excuse us a moment? - Nice to meet you.
Ben, whatever this is, this isn't a good time.
What? What does that mean, you're in? You.
Me.
Together.
We haven't seen each other in six years.
We haven't slept together in 15.
So, what, are we engaged? I have a daughter, an ex-wife.
I have an ex-wife's mother that I have to take care of.
What, are we gonna have kids? We should probably get cracking.
- I didn't - Yeah.
- Excuse me.
Hi.
Hi.
Sorry - All right.
I just got off with Mack McCall of the Traditional Values Alliance.
The $2 billion earmarked for AIDS research is actually a pseudoscientific slush fund for the president's daughter.
She doesn't work in HIV.
They're kooks.
- With a press conference on national TV.
- Oh, my God.
Where's Ellie? The press will be all over her.
We've got about 30 minutes to keep her under wraps.
Ron Butterfield.
- Get me the Washington bureau - C.
J.
- under heavy fire when members of the House committee - Toby.
- began investigations into 255 scientific research projects.
The projects, all funded with NIH grants were deemed of questionable scientific value by the critics.
And in a recent turn, Miss Bartlet was believed to be on the receiving end of $ 2 billion appropriated to AIDS research.
That money was earmarked last year by President Bartlet.
Accusations of nepotism are coming swift from the right but as we see here today, the events are still unfolding.
Dr.
Bartlet is the president's daughter, a postdoctoral fellow at Johns Hopkins where she studies human papilloma virus, or HPV in Puerto Rican sex workers.
- So is she okay? - The Secret Service was right there.
How is this possible?! This is my family! What the hell are you people thinking?! - Oh, my.
- I'd yell too.
Ellie's off-limits! Has everyone on my staff? How can the Traditional Values Alliance link AIDS money with what Ellie does? Aren't AIDS and HPV different areas of research? They're both below the waist.
HPV is a sexually transmitted virus that's been linked to cervical cancer.
Just get them the hell in here! Come on.
- two HPV vaccines.
The Center for Disease Control When the NIH was founded, the idea was simple: Identify the best research as defined by scientists themselves.
Now these people, who are not even scientists have answered all the questions before any science is done? Ever seen one of these grant applications? We're lucky Einstein didn't have to fill one out or God knows what E would equal.
So tell me what you're doing.
Right now, I might as well let loose buzzards in Ellie's apartment for all the good you're doing.
Pretty sure Layton's known about Ellie but she covered her tracks by having Bentley call other researchers.
- What do you propose? - Make a statement, call it what it is.
People who don't like you using your daughter as a partisan piƱata.
- I don't want to engage with them.
- We have to fight.
- I'm not saying we shouldn't.
- Public health's at stake.
We're gonna sit back and let moralistic dogma replace scientific method? Penicillin, human genetics, Rogaine these were discovered with no practical objective.
- It's not about that.
- It is.
- That's what's on the table.
- Get Layton over.
I'm not cooperating with any investigation.
Pull the passes of every White House reporter who filed on this.
Sir, I can only imagine how angry you must be Damn it! Ellie's never sought or accepted public office.
She's not running that lab, she's a research fellow! They can take all the shots they want at me.
These people have to understand: Attack my family, there's consequences.
Sir, if we punish the congresswoman or the press, we make it more of a story.
- I think we can discredit Layton.
- How's that? She got her hit list from a political action group whose other website is TheLordHatesHomos.
org.
Ellie's never asked for anything.
I begged her to come to my first inaugural ball.
She had some exam, I asked the professor to reschedule it.
I think she's still mad at me.
I have been very clear: We won't use them, you can't either.
We never even put them on a White House Christmas card! Dad.
I'm sorry about all of this.
What? - I didn't support you? - No, I'm just tired.
Thought I had somewhere to go other than my office.
- I wore perfume - What happened with Ben? I wrecked it.
- Is that a record? - Personal best.
- Do you like him? - Yeah.
Really? Yeah.
- Go fix it.
- But It's all I got.
Call Layton's office.
Tell them I'm coming over right now.
- You need something? - How did Layton get the list? Russell gonna weigh in on scientific McCarthyism? - No, I need to - Now's not good.
Thanks, Julie, you rock.
You're all set to see Layton.
They're expecting you any time.
Please don't say "You rock.
" Didn't have much luck with the Judiciary Committee.
- Didn't expect you would.
- The president is considering a number of recess appointments.
- A number? You and the other nominees to the 6th Circuit.
It'll be bumpy, but once the public sees your credentials, we're confident that Yeah, you think it'll give the president a nice lift in the polls? No.
I mean I'm sure it can't hurt, but that's - Well, I can't be your martyr, Josh.
- I'm not asking They didn't confirm me now.
They sure won't in nine months.
You think Georgetown's gonna wait around? Come on, I got two kids and my wife, a mortgage.
- I'm just I'm just trying - You're trying to win.
You know, my first semester at Harvard one of my students helped an action under ERISA.
And they were old men, just struggling to get by because the mill refused to award them their federally guaranteed pension.
So six years later, The court still hasn't gotten to their case.
You throw dirt at them, they throw dirt at you.
It's never gonna stop.
So you're just gonna hide at Georgetown and complain? Let's do something! We're firing a shot here.
Maybe we won't win the war, but, come on, Hayden you are one of the brightest guys I have ever known.
You got nine months.
Let's show them what you can do.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Did you know that patents and copyrights were invented to encourage private patronage of science and technology? Didn't work, of course.
Maybe they should have thrown in a free football phone.
I'm really sorry about today.
Yeah, well, if I'd known I was gonna be on TV, I would have blow-dried.
There's always been tension between science and policy.
We used to do terrible things to you people.
We were never ready to hear what you had to say.
I know of one guy they were ready to carve up because he had this silly idea that the Earth revolved around the Sun.
If this is about scientists having it better today because there's no Inquisition I enjoy talking about Galileo, and don't you start with me.
It's apocryphal, Dad.
A story for tourists.
If Galileo had muttered "It still moves" after they made him recant his work they would've killed him on the spot.
And I don't know why I let you do this.
I promised Dr.
Foy I'd have this stuff to him by tonight.
He'll understand.
I hate that he has to.
I don't wanna ask him.
I just wanna go sit in my office and look at my data.
What? - I wish you could do that too.
- But I can't.
If you believe in what you're doing, you have to speak up.
- Our work speaks for itself.
- It's not enough.
Sorry you had the misfortune to be born into this, but our business is politics.
- Your business.
- This whole thing started because I earmarked $2 billion of the federal science budget for HIV-AIDS research.
- What does that? Just because you like what I earmarked doesn't mean I didn't politicize science, just like Layton's trying to do.
This is the real world.
My enemies will never stop going after you.
But if Dr.
Foy is investigated, you need to be right by his side.
- C.
J.
can help you with a statement.
- No.
When Galileo said "Eppur si muove" it meant he would continue to study and publish I get nosebleeds He had to write in secret under house arrest.
I couldn't stand up to a damn book report.
It's easy for Zoey and Liz.
You and Mom love the attention.
Science can't wall itself off from controversy it has to live by it! It's not me, Dad.
It's not.
I mean, it's a red-banner day, and I'm just happy I'm here to celebrate.
I knew that.
- Toby.
Hi.
- Congresswoman.
- Thanks for seeing me.
- I'm sorry about this mess.
One of my assistants just had her thesis published.
Please.
Nobody wants to blow up the NIH here.
I promise I won't even mention the supercollider.
Oh, you guys pretty much took care of that one already.
I hope you will convey my deepest sympathy that the president's daughter has been dragged into this.
I'll do that.
He'll be delighted to hear that we won't be seeing Ellie in your fundraising materials.
Wasn't my decision for her to work in a lab doing questionable research on Uncle Sam's dime.
And you decide what's questionable? It's my job.
I'm on the authorizing committee for that money.
- Nothing wrong with healthy scrutiny.
- Healthy scrutiny.
Not subjective attack.
Your list isn't about priorities.
It's about imposing ideology and religious doctrine on the awarding of individual scientific grants.
It's the taxpayers' money.
Your disapproval of high-risk behavior is justification for stifling the research to reduce it? I don't have a problem with homosexuals or injection-drug users but there is only one pie.
And we're talking about spending $2 billion of it on the small percentage of the population with HIV which means cutting funding for Alzheimer's, muscular dystrophy and diabetes and multiple sclerosis.
- Oh, good, the MS card.
This doesn't have to be one or the other.
One in eight women will get breast cancer.
And at least 15 percent of those aren't gonna live five years after the diagnosis.
Every dollar you spend on studies of Puerto Rican sex workers is one you take away from cancer centers and clinical tests.
You don't know that.
You don't know where undirected research will lead.
You're not a scientist and neither are the members of the Traditional Values Alliance.
What are you doing in bed with these people? - I'm not.
- I spoke with Mack McCall.
Oh, McCall will take credit for anything that gets his name in the paper.
You got your list from the Traditional Values Alliance.
I didn't.
Your lists are identical.
There's a lot of people who care about this issue.
A lot of prominent people, on both sides of the aisle.
You'd be surprised, Toby.
It was nice seeing you again.
I got Muppets in two, but l Layton claims she didn't get her list from the Traditional Values Alliance.
She didn't.
Rena? When I first checked Dr.
Foy's funding, it said he had $ 14 more this year.
Right.
The trash can.
When Layton's list came out, the extra $ 14 wasn't there.
There were other discrepancies between the lists but they were so small, I figured human error.
So Layton's list is up to date and the TVA's list isn't? Makes sense.
It's a public website, probably not updated regularly.
But the 14 bucks kept bugging me so I checked Layton's list against our internal, NIH-generated - Very unpublic list and - And they're the same.
Yeah.
See? No trash can.
Our list was out two weeks ago.
She couldn't get that info unless Unless whoever put this list together works inside the administration.
At first I thought it was Stephen James from HHS because I know he hates the president.
And then I thought it was the passive-aggressive recycling guy and You know who it is.
Yeah.
I have new pages.
This is not what we agreed on.
I think the first lady had some strong ideas about her character.
I'll catch up.
If I were the vice president's chief of staff gearing up for the next campaign I might be doing some thinking about our own weaknesses.
Trying to imagine how our opposition might be viewing us with regards to, say, health-care spending priorities.
It was for my eyes only.
No one here knew about it except me.
Yeah, well, the experiment got out of the lab, huh? - You didn't do opposition research? - That's what vaults are for.
I have no idea how it got to the congresswoman.
I came to talk to you about it, but you threw me out.
Maybe if you started the conversation by saying: "I just outed the president's daughter on national TV.
" - That would've gotten my attention.
- So you must be happy.
Maybe if I had stuck around, I wouldn't be committing career suicide.
I don't give a damn if you left opposition research in a fax.
Did you or did you not willfully target the president's daughter? Of course not.
I'll take you at your word.
This was a mistake.
Whatever the hell else you wanna do about it is your own business.
Thank you.
- I never do this.
I'm a little nervous.
- Don't be silly.
You have beautiful hair.
Oh, my God, that's so sweet.
I actually need to get it cut, but thanks.
Is everything okay? It's just, I thought, well, Kermit was gonna be here but, you know, it's no big deal.
I didn't know you studied HPV.
- Yeah.
- My sister died of cervical cancer.
- I'm so sorry.
- She was 37.
It was really fast.
We didn't know.
Nobody knew it was connected to HPV.
- Yeah.
- I read there's a vaccine coming.
That's what we've been working on.
Work harder.
Boy.
Going to the doctor is not so bad after all.
That tickles.
Okay.
And one, two, three.
Boy, that was fun.
Do the other one.
Elmo, it's time for your immunization.
I'm gonna have to give you an injection.
But, Mrs.
Dr.
Abbey First Lady Doctor, will it hurt Elmo? Well, it might hurt just a little tiny bit.
But it's very important.
Wait a minute.
Didn't you give up your medical license? Elmo, you did not You didn't say that! Do you have a diploma you could show Elmo? Can Elmo be frank? This laughing is not filling Elmo with confidence.
- Oh, Elmo, you You - Stop it! Yeah.
Let me know if there's anything I can do.
Hayden's onboard.
- Hayden? - I got him.
- He called Georgetown - We have to put that on hold.
We lost a Supreme Court justice.
- Lost? - Dead.
Justice Ashland's dead? Justice Brady.
Owen Brady.
Heart attack.
What was he, 45? Fifty-two.
Justice Brady.
The Republicans will go nuts.
I just saw him.
Leo.
You've got the head of the Senate Judiciary Committee on line three.
I'll take it.
- That's it.
Was that so bad? - Well, it hurt, but just a little.
- You did it! - Oh, Elmo did it.
- You were so brave! - Oh, Elmo, you are my hero! Oh, thanks.
Oh, and thank you for making Elmo You did well.
If there's any kind of firestorm, I promise I'll handle it.
I know.
Your handsome man is back.
- first lady doctor.
- Thank you.
That's the nicest thing Thank you for coming back.
Thank you for calling.
C.
J.
, can you help me with something? Yeah.
Wait, wait, we can do it together.
Elmo - He in there? - Go on in.
- What can I do for you, Will? - We have to talk about the NIH list.
I told them I'm the only one who's seen it.
I thought the research would be useful, a good idea.
It was a good idea.
I heard you played bad cop/bad cop with the entire staff trying to find out who leaked it to Layton.
Doesn't one of your wife's charities do something with breast cancer? The National Foundation.
Congresswoman Layton's on the board of that foundation, isn't she? - What's your point? - There may be speculation My wife feels strongly about this work.
Is it possible she shared her information with Barbara Layton? Barb? Yeah.
That's possible.
You're gonna need to tell the president, sir.
- Am I? - It's going to come out, sir.
- The list is all over town.
- Well, maybe that's not so bad.
It wasn't my plan, but it might be a happy accident.
Just the thing we need to put a little distance between us and them.
I wouldn't worry about it.
I really wouldn't.
That'll be all.
Yes, sir.
Thank you, Mr.
Vice President.
While money spent studying the brains of PCP users might appear to be taxpayer waste this research led directly to the discovery of the NMDA receptor.
Science cannot exist in a vacuum.
By nature, it's an open enterprise strengthened by public scrutiny.
Openness is the basis of a free society.
But when science is attacked on ideological grounds its integrity and usefulness are threatened.
Independent, peer-review research is the cornerstone of science in America.
It shouldn 't be about the left or the right but what works to keep people safe and healthy.
I believe all Americans, and all people everywhere no matter who they are or how they live deserve research to improve their lives.
Thomas Jefferson said: "We must not be afraid to follow the truth, wherever it may lead.
" Scientific truth ennobles us.
It tells us who we are, where we've been and where we're going.
I believe the truth will only be found when all scientists are free to pursue it.
Thank you.

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