Trollhunters (2016) s01e03 Episode Script

Wherefore Art Thou, Trollhunter?

1 - This is - Yeah.
- Whoa.
- Pretty much.
[chuckles.]
This is your home? Trollmarket is home and hearth and sanctuary for all good trolls.
This way, my friends.
There is much to see.
Dang! And here I thought the only thing underneath our town was dirt and plumbing.
Stay close.
Human feet have never graced the ground of Trollmarket before.
- Human? - Friends.
This is crazy! Are you getting this, Tobes? Oh, yeah.
On it.
- Hi! - [groans.]
Check it out! Peridot, Topaz, Cassiterite! [gasps.]
Kornerupine! [growls.]
Hi.
Your knowledge of minerals is almost troll-like, Tobias.
So, your kind, you all live here? Trolls travel from afar to our market to find comfort and remedies.
You'll find most anything you need and sometimes you'll find what you never knew you needed.
[growls.]
Oh, hey, little guy! That's a cute pointy hat.
And pointy teeth! Look out! Get away! Get out of here! Vile vermin! Be gone! [growls.]
- What is that? - Gnomes are vermin.
Pickpockets, scum of the earth! We only tolerate them for their grooming services.
[Jim.]
Grooming? [Blinky.]
They eat the parasites on the larger trolls.
- [gnomes scream.]
- Jim! Jim! Check it out! Maximum coolosity there.
Look at that.
It's amazing! - [Aaarrrgghh.]
Heartstone.
- The life force of trollkind.
The means that keeps us from crumbling to stone and the source of light and sustenance.
Okay, that's totally the bomb.
What are humans doing here? - Fleshbag! - Puny! - I think we've attracted the paparazzi.
- Friends, there is no need to be afraid.
- He is the Trollhu - What is this? I was just getting to that, Draal.
Human feet have never sullied the ground of Trollmarket before.
Who are these fleshbags? Believe it or not, he is, um How do I put this? Our new Trollhunter.
[all gasp.]
He can't be the Trollhunter.
He's not a troll! - [yelps.]
- Amulet chose.
- [roars.]
- Try to remain calm.
Destiny is just Show him, Jimbo! - For the power of Merlin - [Blinky.]
"Glory.
" Right, sorry.
For the glory of Merlin, Daylight is mine to command.
Pretty cool, right? [gnomes whimper.]
A human? Protecting us? Bushigal! I am Draal, son of Kanjigar and the amulet's rightful heir! Uh, you're his son? He's his son? [gasps.]
Yeah, I can see how this could be a problem.
When my father fell, the honor should have passed to me.
Amulet chose.
We'll see what Vendel has to say about this.
Feel free to fetch him.
In the meanwhile, lots of Trollhunter business to be done.
- Draal, wonderful to see you as always.
- [chuckles.]
[growls.]
Whoa! Wh Whoa! Um, what just happened? The amulet responded to your unconscious command, Master Jim.
- You are at ease, are you not? - I am, actually.
It senses that.
You are beginning to master it.
Holy trolls! Is this a palace? [Blinky.]
This is "The Hero's Forge.
" - Ooh - [laughs.]
- [screams.]
Don't do that again! - Come on.
Magnifico! Wait, are these? [Aaarrrgghh.]
Trollhunters.
[Blinky.]
Your predecessors, Master Jim.
A line of heroism that reaches back to the age of Merlin.
This is the place of the final repose for Kanjigar "the Courageous.
" One day, there will be a statue of you here, Master Jim.
One day very far off in the future, of course.
Yeah, about that, there's just one thing I'm not getting.
- Just one? - You guys are trolls.
So, "Trollhunter" sounds a little like you hunt yourselves, you know? - Hunt bad trolls.
Gumm-Gumms.
- [groans.]
Not exactly the most terrifying name.
In Trollspeak, "Gumm-Gumm" means "bringer of horrible, slow, painful and thoroughly-calculated death.
" - Oh.
- But do not be too concerned, Master Jim.
The Gumm-Gumms were exiled to the Darklands centuries ago.
- Only one roams free.
- And wants to kill you.
Wait, Bular is one of the unspeakably evil trolls? Indeed.
His father and the rest of their number remain exiled to the Darklands, but they have been trying to escape for centuries.
I sense ill times are upon us.
Hence the need for us to begin Master Jim's training now.
Step back, please.
A little further, Tobias.
Oh, very well.
[both scream.]
- There's a big blade! - Oh, no! [screams.]
- Excellent reflexes, Master Jim.
- [Toby screaming.]
Great, but maybe we could start off easy? Like, you know, with less grindy things? [male voice.]
Blinkous Galadrigal.
Blinkous Galadrigal.
- That's your name? - Horrible, I know.
I wish to meet the fleshbag supposedly chosen by the amulet.
I am Vendel, son of Rundle, son of Kilfred.
Uh Toby, son of Ralph.
I live with my Nana.
- Produce the amulet, Trollhunter.
- [gasps.]
Oh, no! My phone! I think I'm the fleshbag that you're looking for.
[chuckles.]
Amulet chose.
Hmm So Draal tells me.
Ridiculous! However, the amulet has been known to make ill-fated choices, as you know better than most.
- What's that mean? - Blinky trained Trollhunter before.
Unkar "the Unfortunate.
" Why is he unfortunate? First night out, torn.
Like, conflicted? No.
Limb from limb.
[yelps.]
If the amulet chose true, the Soothscryer will reveal it.
Please! Master Jim hasn't had even an hour's training.
Mm-mm! [chuckles nervously.]
[amulet dings.]
Behold, the Soothscryer! It will judge your true spirit.
Insert your right hand, Trollhunter.
Um, I'm going to get it back, right? That is part of the test.
Oh, great.
Tobes, Tobes! Come here and help me.
Okay, Jimbo, but I am not sticking my hand in there.
[both grunting.]
[screaming.]
[both screaming.]
- I'm okay! [sighs.]
- Ooh, everything hurts.
Well? What is it? Hmm Inconclusive.
Inconclusive? [scoffs.]
Not doing that again.
Wait, wait, wait.
What does "inconclusive" mean? It means, Trollhunter, that there's never been a human to bear the mantle before.
The Soothscryer needs more time to render its judgment.
Let us all hope you live long enough to see.
Oh, what have I gotten myself into? Um trolls, cool underground city, indigenous gemforms, Heartstone? What you've gotten yourself into is total awesome-mania, man! If I survive.
Come on! You're going to get trained by the best.
Blinky is His last guy got torn limb from limb on his first night! So, there's nowhere to go but up.
Oh, no! Looks like your mom's home.
Okay, quick, I was bike-jacked by three no, make it seven members of the Bratva.
That's the Russian mob.
And then, you broke into their hideout to try to save me Or I could tell her your bike got hit by a car, but you're totally fine.
- That works too, I guess.
- Night, Tobes.
[dish clattering, water running.]
[Barbara.]
Jim, I'm in the kitchen! Hey, Mom.
Oh, man.
You would so not believe what happened on the way home from Look who stopped by.
- Hello, Jim.
- Mr.
Strickler.
Mr.
Strickler came by to congratulate you.
Oh, that's really nice.
It's a great honor that you've been chosen to wield this mantle.
I've no doubt that you'll prove equal to the task.
Of? Why didn't you tell me you were trying out for Romeo and Juliet? Maybe we could back up a few steps? Jim, surely you knew you'd won the part of Romeo after your breathtaking audition yesterday.
Yeah, after the audition, I had to run, but Wait, I got the part? I was just remarking to your mother that I'm a touch concerned about your being spread so thin, particularly in light of your new commitment to the chess club.
And I didn't even think you knew how to play chess.
[laughs.]
Chess, acting It's like you have this entire secret life I know nothing about.
You have no idea.
Atlas, too, carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and I'm concerned, like him, you're overextending yourself.
I can handle it.
A few days ago, you were falling asleep in class.
Wait, what? [gasps.]
Oh! Yeah, but-but-but now I am recharged and ready to go.
"To be or not to be.
" Right? [chuckles.]
Right? Am I right? - Jim, that's Hamlet.
- [chuckles.]
Thanks.
I don't want to overstay my welcome.
My phone, Mrs.
Lake.
Please, call me Barbara.
Barbara.
Delighted to meet you.
- He really likes you.
- Yeah.
[door opens, closes.]
I've never seen a teacher take such an interest before.
And he has a point.
There are only so many hours in the day, Jim.
If your grades slip, even a little, I'm going to insist you cut back, starting with the things you do for me.
I like taking care of you.
Except that it's my job to take care of you.
Do you know when I was old enough to ask about Dad, remember what you told me? You said, "We just have to take care of each other.
" That's all I'm doing, Mom.
You must be starving.
How about breakfast for dinner? Even I can't screw up an omelet.
- [chuckles.]
Wouldn't be so sure.
- What? I said, "Sure!" You shouldn't be here! [growls.]
Why aren't I feeling his neck snap in my hands right now? Burning his hut to the ground? [scoffs.]
That certainly wouldn't draw any attention.
I could take the amulet and be done with it.
Your attempt to do so earlier was not only unsuccessful, it risked exposing our agenda to both humans and trolls.
[snarls.]
First human Trollhunter.
This will require finesse, patience.
I resent your weak, devious ways, Impure.
- I only respect force.
- And I respect your father.
If you want any chance of ever seeing him again, adapt.
[sighs.]
You know, that's actually pretty delicious.
So, Mr.
Strickler, he seems very nice.
Is he single? - What? I-I don't know.
- [siren blaring in distance.]
Wider stance.
Keep your frame.
No, that's good, that's good.
Yes, all right, fine.
That's better.
All right.
Raise your sword, Master Jim.
Mm-hmm.
Head up, chin out, stomach in.
[burps.]
Mmm What's this? Dander from my Nana's Persian and a couple of hairballs.
Mm, tasty.
[burps.]
The Trollhunter lives and dies by three rules.
Rule number one: always be afraid.
- Afraid? - Be afraid.
Yeah, I don't think that'll be a problem.
Whoa! See? Fear is good.
Keeps us alert.
Keeps us on guard.
Makes us vigilant.
A hero is not he who is fearless, but he who is not stopped by it.
- Got it.
- Two: always finish the fight.
An opponent must be given no mercy.
- [gasps.]
- [laughing.]
[Jim.]
Okay, enough with the rocks, already.
[breathing heavily.]
Always finish the fight? [grunts.]
Kill! Indeed.
The Trollhunter must always vanquish his opponent through death.
- Dude, that's harsh.
- Ours is an unforgiving world, Toby D.
Hence, the third rule: when in doubt, always kick them in the gronk-nuks.
Gronk-nuks? [screams.]
The horror.
So, basically, you're saying that one third of being a Trollhunter is kicking someone in the nards.
Ah! So, the Trollhunter's training begins.
I thought the great Trollhunter might accept my services as a sparring partner.
Part of your training regiment, isn't it? - In due time, perhaps.
- [Vendel.]
Why wait? I am eager to see your charge demonstrate his mettle.
Actually, the sword's more made of, like, daylight.
He means your mettle, your ability to cope in the face of adversity.
Oh.
Yeah, I'm still working on the whole "mettle" part.
Plus, you know, SAT words.
[chuckles.]
Let them spar.
No harm in it.
- Wait, what do I do? - Hit him as hard as you can.
No, no.
I mean, what do I do? I've never hit anyone.
- Ever? - I've never gotten into a fight.
- In your entire life? - All 15 years of it, yeah.
You fought Bular, however briefly, and you were glorious.
- Your blade-work was impressive.
- Those were just my chef skills! Exactly! The fight is within you, Master Jim.
Trust yourself.
One hit! One hit and you will be changed forever.
Begin.
[snarling.]
[roars.]
One hit.
[yells.]
[groans.]
All right, all right.
Now, just give me a second here.
[yells.]
[breathing heavily.]
[Jim yells.]
[screams.]
- Let him go! - [Jim yells.]
I've waited my entire life to inherit the amulet.
I can wait until you fall in battle.
[screams, groans.]
I suspect I won't have to wait very long.
If you know what's good for you, you'll stay down and live, worm.
[laughs.]
Trollhunter.
[sighs.]
He might be right.
What the heck was I thinking? An amulet can't choose anyone.
It's an amulet.
Jim? I understand you're upset, Master Jim, but you've had not a moment's training.
There's no shame in what just transpired.
Okay.
Well, then you were definitely not paying attention back there.
Shame was about the only thing that transpired.
Shame [sighs.]
and realization.
I don't know if Draal should be the Trollhunter or not, and I don't care.
I just know that I am not.
Master Jim, despite whatever doubts you may have about the amulet's choice, it is now bonded to you.
This is a mantle you cannot refuse.
Watch me.
[groans.]
Oh, shut up.
[exhales.]
[groans.]
[spits.]
[screams.]
¡Buenas noches! Home run.
[yells.]
Really? "Deny and refuse.
" But he can't deny it.
But Romeo can't not be a Montague, which means that Juliet - "And I'll no longer be a Capulet.
" - Exactly! [laughs.]
Jim? Huh? "Or, if thou wilt not, be sworn my love" Right.
No, I-I got it.
Love, deny, refuse.
I'm on it.
Okay, then.
Let's take it from "Wherefore art" - You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
[chuckles.]
Totally fine.
You're going to need to be a bit more convincing if you're going to play Romeo.
I've just got some stuff going on in my head.
I know we don't know each other all that well, but we're going to be spending a lot of time together, so All right, all right! Act two, scene two, line 33.
"Wherefore art thou, Romeo?" [Steve.]
Where have you been? I scheduled your butt-whooping for yesterday, jerk face.
And you didn't show.
Tick-tock, remember? He was busy getting his butt whooped by someone else.
- Take a number.
- Back off, dweeb! Steve, I am really not in the mood to do this right now.
Duh! Nobody's ever in the mood to get their face bashed in, but that's what's going to happen, unless you want to back down.
- Uh, I-I can do that? - Sure.
You want to crawl away from me, on your knees, bowing in front of everybody? [Steve chuckles.]
- That's a choice.
- [students murmuring.]
Whoa! I didn't expect you to actually choose wussing over whooping.
[Steve laughs.]
- [groans.]
- [grunts.]
Keep still so I can punch your face! - [groans.]
- [amulet dings.]
[Steve laughs.]
Stay down and live, worm.
- Is that all you got? - [growls.]
Leave him alone, Steve! - Butt out! - Claire! [laughs.]
- Good thing your mom's a nurse.
- One hit.
- [bones crack.]
- [grunts.]
[groans.]
She's a doctor, actually.
[students cheer.]
Got one! Dude, you did it! And without even kicking him in the gronk-nuks! [Draal.]
It was an epic pummeling! [laughs.]
I was going to kill him, but I just couldn't make up my mind as to how.
[laughs.]
"Trollhunter.
" [scoffs.]
I mean, "trollhunted" is more like it.
[laughs.]
If only Master Jim had landed a single hit.
Single hit.
And he would have been changed forever! [laughs.]
Over and over and over.
It was incredible! All I want is the chance to wail on that fleshbag again.
Wish granted, loudmouth.
Rematch.
You.
Me.
Name the time, name the place, and I'll be there.
We both will.
Changed forever.
[growls.]

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