True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e06 Episode Script

True Jackson VP was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Now listen up class, you're sophomores now.
Do you know what that means? Your prediction that I'll never graduate, is starting to look a little shaky? No, I still like my odds on that one.
I'm talking about the Little Buddy Program.
Each of you will be assigned an incoming freshman, to benefit from the wealth of knowledge you've amassed.
And yes, I'm being facetious.
It means sarcastic.
Lulu, I'm so looking forward to being a big buddy.
All my big buddy did when I was a freshman, was make me clean her locker while she went to the movies.
Please come forward to receive your assignments, then go find your buddy in the hallway.
Are you going to be a good influence on your little buddy? I wouldn't think so.
Molly? Molly Molly! Hi I'm True True Jackson.
- Nice to meet you ma'am.
- Ma'am? I'm only 16.
You know who I call ma'am? Old people.
Like that lady in the nurse's office, who checks your hair for lice.
Her head looks like a skull.
It's going to be so easy for nature to turn her in to a skeleton.
I mean she's halfway there.
Woo! That's my grandma.
Oh! Uh yeah, she's really nice.
Tell her thanks for that knit comb.
Nate? What's up little guy? I'm Ryan that's r-y-a-n.
I know how to spell Ryan you dumb diddle bucket.
I'm sorry did you call me a diddle bucket? - That's right.
- What exactly is that? You know, puff doodle, cream pickle, a drip nozzle Well I assure you, I am not any of those things.
I highly doubt that.
I was hoping to get someone that likes to have fun, maybe I can trade with somebody.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Guy I am all about fun.
Oh really? Well prove it, turn off the hall lights and scream "alien attack"! - That sounds lame.
- To a diddle bucket.
Alien attack! Ryan, some example you're setting! I will see you in detention.
Later on snoz goblets.
- Hey Lulu, you meet your little buddy yet? - I can't find her.
That's okay, her name is Babs.
I don't really want to know anyone named Babs.
- How's yours? - She's kind of quiet but she'll be okay.
She just needs to come out of her shell.
I'm going to bring her to Mad Style later, I think she'll like it.
Oh, maybe that's her! Babs? - You Lulu? - Uh huh.
I'm your little buddy Babs Hancock.
It's nice to meet you Babs.
Say, quick question.
Aren't you a grown woman? A grown woman who's going back to high school.
Now where can I get a cup of coffee? I had a late one.
From my head to my toes, it's all real and you know.
Fresh and cool, it's just what I do.
Working at a grown-up job.
I never really knew I could work this hard.
Just used to sit at home and watch TV.
Now I'm in an office as the new VP.
I'm always setting trends, with my two best friends.
When things get out of hand, we have a plan.
We're just messing around, and we're making new ground.
For the whole wide world to see.
If you see us in town, you know it's going down.
Because I'm the new VP.
Hey, Oscar.
Here's your mail.
Does it smell like barbecue? You got that right! I brought my Galveston Smoker to work.
We're grilling up meats in the mail room.
Here try these ribs.
I've been a Vegetarian for eighteen years.
But these smell delicious.
Well, this is it! What do you think? - I don't know.
- Molly, we talked about this.
When I ask your opinion on something, it's because I really want to hear it.
It's smells like a steak house.
- Hey True.
- Hey Jimmy.
Are you wearing some kind of Mesquite aftershave? - Barbecuing, are you hungry? - A little.
Here's a bone-in Kansas City Ribeye.
Hanks got steak sauce in the mail room if you need it.
But I don't think you will.
Thanks.
This is Molly, she's a new freshman at my school.
It's nice to meet you Molly.
Have a blackened Veal Chop.
- Pretty cute huh? - I don't know I guess.
Take it easy, I saw him first! Come on let me show you my office.
Uh, True, can I have those? It's been eighteen years.
- Wow.
- I know, right? - How'd you get such a big job? - Life can take some funny turns.
One minute I was selling sandwiches, the next thing I knew I was working here with a bunch of nice people.
- Where's True! - And Amanda.
Where's that little black dress design you've been working on? - It's almost finished.
- Well hurry up.
Max and Doris are stuck at the Toffee Festival literally.
And in his absence you will be presenting the design to F.
David Pillows.
F.
David Pillows? He's one of my favorite designers! If Mr.
Pillows likes this design it will be included in his exclusive runway show at Milan's Fashion Week.
Oh how nice, you're having a play date.
- Oh, that's Molly she's my freshman buddy.
- Well aren't you just adorable.
Get her out of here.
Wow David Pillows! Do you know who he is? - No.
- He comes from a huge fashion dynasty.
His great-great-grandfather invented pillows.
Wow! This is some apartment.
No, no, I don't live here this is where I work.
Remember we talked about it in the cab? I'm gonna be honest, I take a medication for my joints, that severely impacts my ability to pay attention.
Great.
Oscar, this is Babs, she's my little buddy.
Your what? It's complicated just pretend you have a phone call.
Mad Style, how may I direct your call? If it's for me I'm not here.
Oh Lulu, Mikey J.
Carlton wants you to meet him at his house at 3:00.
- Who's Mikey J? - My boyfriend.
Sounds like somebody has a boyfriend.
I just said I did.
I have no memory of that.
It's not my fault Ms.
Park, that little buddy you gave me made me do it.
Ms.
Park? What?! Sucker.
What did you do? I told her someone filled her backseat with dog nonsense.
What's she going to do when she finds out you were lying? Who said I was lying? - Come on let's go.
- I can't go I'm in detention.
- It's not optional.
- Fine.
I guess we can find something to have fun with here.
Right nub nuzzle? Okay, stop calling me things, and you better get lost before Ms.
Park comes back.
- What are you doing? - Pouring glue on the lady's mug.
That's her worlds greatest teacher mug, she loves that thing.
Well I hope she likes drinking sideways.
Okay, give me that before you get me in even more trouble.
- Ahem! - It wasn't me he did it.
- He who? - It was Hey Lulu, special delivery.
It's my famous Tri Tip as in try not to eat it all in one bite.
Have you ever tried to rub sugar and cayenne on your Brisket? They do it at Ace's High in Atlantic City.
It's sweet at first, then it burns you.
Like a relationship.
Am I right, ladies? Well, enjoy it.
Thanks.
Is your dad single? Wait, what? Lulu! Here you go.
- Ooh, it's pretty.
- Thanks.
How's it going with your little buddy? Not so good, she hasn't said more than ten words all day.
I feel like I'm not making an impact at all.
How about you? My little buddy taught me how to pick a lock.
Oh, is it okay if I leave early? Mikey J wants me to come over to his house.
I guess so.
- You okay over there? - Yes.
My meeting shouldn't be too long, you can play on my computer.
If you click on the icon marked "financial reports", it opens up a bunch of games.
Thanks.
Wait, I've got an even better idea.
How about you come to the meeting with me? Oh I don't know about that will there be a lot of people there? Come on Molly, we have got to break you out of that shell of yours.
We had to break my Uncle Reggie out of his shell once.
He got a job outside of the Nut Hut playing a giant pistachio.
Come on.
I don't suppose I could get time off for good behavior? You glued my favorite mug, to the wall.
I didn't, but whatever I'm hungry, do you have a sandwich? - No.
- Then I'll have to get my own.
Do you have any money? No.
There he is.
**.
Where did you come from? Oh, I'm from downtown nunya.
As in none of your business.
Just get out of here, I'm in enough trouble.
Fine, suit yourself.
Guess I'll just have to finish painting Principal Ruckman's office by my self.
And I got a great idea, I'm going to write "Ryan was here".
What Nate? Nate, come back here! - Babs are you bored? - So bored! What do you say we go to the salon and get **? I don't really like to be away from my phone in case Mikey J calls.
- Who's Mikey J? - My boyfriend remember? No.
Well he is.
Can't he just call you on your cellphone? I guess so, it's just that he usually calls here first.
And I hate for him to go to the trouble of dialing two numbers.
Oh, yeah you've got a good point.
Get in the elevator.
What have you done?! So far, just this one wall.
Give me that.
Please mister I beg you to not make me participate in this madness.
What are you talking about? I didn't Ruckman's right behind me, isn't he? Now remember, this is a grown up meeting so try and be professional.
F.
David Pillows! I'm True Jackson.
- Pleased to meet you.
- Thank you so much.
Ahem, unfortunately Max couldn't be here today, he's at a very important fashion event.
- I thought it was a Toffee Festival.
- Zip it, yes? Hello.
Oh, that's Molly, she's my little buddy.
I like your swagger Molly, it makes you look youthful.
I'm thirteen and a half.
Bravo! Shall we get started? Absolutely, but before we begin I wonder if this gentleman might step out? That's better.
True, I throw the floor to you.
Thank you.
My design is for the girl that works all day, but doesn't have time to change before going to dinner.
What do you think Molly? - Me? - Yes, I like to hear everybody's opinion.
- Oh, I don't know.
- Come on Molly we're all friends here.
Tell them what you think.
Well, it's a little boring.
You said what now?! You know kind of a snooze-fest.
Thank you for your opinion Molly.
You can go now.
I hate to say it, but she's right.
Your dress is well constructed, but it seems a little La festival de sommeil.
- What does that mean? - It's French for snooze-fest I'm looking for inspiration, True.
Where's your inspiration? The off-black stitching on the back, is a bold choice, no? I was hoping to be surprised.
- Anyway I have to go thank you very much.
- Can I present another idea? I'm really sorry, but I have to be at the airport in two hours.
Then come back in one hour.
Okay, one hour.
But I want to be surprised.
If he comes back in an hour, I think we'll all be surprised.
Boring? Boring?! I can't believe this! - He asked me my opinion.
- Well, who told you to give it? You did.
By the way I think you used the word "aspirational" wrong in the meeting.
I've created a monster.
Fine, F.
David Pillows wants inspiration, I am all about inspiration.
- Can I help? - I think you've helped enough for one day.
Why don't you go in my office and play "financial reports"? Well, moppet, your little buddy sure made a mess out of your presentation.
I'm thinking of adopting her.
Okay, I've got one hour to come up with a great idea.
Should be easy if my little buddy stays out of my hair.
Why don't you take her to the Fabric Market downtown, that place is like a maze.
It's almost imposable not to loose someone.
Wait, didn't you take me there when I first started? I was lost for hours.
I'm sure I looked for you.
I don't know Amanda, it seems kinda mean to ditch her somewhere.
Hey True, I think this would look better if you kept the belt simple.
Great idea.
Say, how would you like to come to the Fabric Market with me? Sure, I'll get my backpack.
There's hope for you yet.
- I'll go set up in the break room.
- Great.
Lulu what happened? You look like you washed your hair with a rainbow.
Babs and I went to the beauty shop, she's like the coolest elderly freshman ever.
Now she's going to do my makeup.
I thought you were going to go to Mikey J's? What time is it? - Three-thirty.
- Three-thirty! I'm late! - I better go tell my BBOTF.
- Your what? Best buddy over thirty five.
- You all ready? - No I'm the opposite of all ready.
I'm all I gotta go-ie.
Where? Mikey J's, he told me to come over, a half an hour ago.
Well what would happen if you didn't? I don't know, he'd be disappointed? You really like this boy, huh? Totally, he's sorta my everything.
Yeah, I've had a few of those in my day.
My first boyfriend was a musician.
- Cool.
- Yeah, he had a band.
"Crouch Potato".
It started out as a typo at first, but at that point they printed out too many T-shirt's to change it.
I followed him everywhere, I dropped out of school, everything.
Did you marry him? No, we broke up eventually.
Then I followed another boy, and another one after that.
And now here I am back in school, starting over.
It sounds like you've had a pretty exciting life.
Lulu I'm the last person to give advice to anyone And I think it's great that there's a boy that you're crazy about But never loose site of who you are.
Hello? Hey Mikey J.
Yeah, I got the message.
But I'm kinda in the middle of something.
Can I call you later? Yeah, I like you too.
Now, how about my makeup? You got it.
Okay just so you know this is not high quality product, so it's probably going to burn when I put it on.
Yo! Drool biscuit! You missed a spot.
Get out of here Nate.
That's no way to talk to a little buddy.
I have feelings you know? I'm a little boy.
I'm on to you.
You're going to come in here and you're going to break something, and then I'll get blamed for it.
That's crazy.
Here catch.
Don't! Stop it! Don't stop it? Okay.
Oh! Ha! Nice try.
Looks like I win this round.
Detention forever? - How was the Fabric Market? - Okay, I guess.
I feel kinda bad though, ditching a little girl in a big store.
- I sure hope she finds her way back okay.
- Mm.
- Hey True.
- Molly? That Mailman makes a mean lamb-chop, want some? - I'm good.
- I'll be in your office.
One minute she's looking at fabric samples, the next she's in the break room? That's the best magic trick I ever saw! Well if you're looking for another ditch spot, there's a sinkhole on 83rd with a lot of potential.
What's the fastest way to 83rd street? You know True, just because Molly's a pain in the neck, doesn't mean she's wrong.
You better get started, it's a quarter to Pillows.
Thanks Oscar.
Now all I need is a little inspiration, and I'm good to go.
What are you doing? I'm about to draw an amazing dress design.
When? Any second, I'm going to get a great idea and then bam! Here it comes! Here it comes! And Nothing! Oh, this is terrible.
I'm sorry I got you in to this mess.
I should have kept my mouth shut.
No don't ever say that, and you were right.
That dress was kinda a French festival of snores.
Well that off black stitching on the back was nice.
Yeah, I ran out of regular black.
All I need is one great idea.
One great idea! You know what I do when I can't think of an idea? - I do the exact opposite.
- Right, right, right.
What do you mean? Well maybe by thinking of the worst idea, you'll get the best idea.
Instead of picturing a beautiful dress on a beautiful model, do the opposite.
Anything? Nope, I'm all out of ideas, and black paint.
Kopelman is really hairy.
They called from the lobby, F.
David Pillows is on his way up.
We might as well just clean up and go home.
This is pretty.
Now this is inspired! It's classic and refined! But the paint splatter's very fashion forward.
Where did you find this fabric? It was just something we had laying around.
Well, it's going to look amazing on the runway in Milan.
Good job, True.
Thank you.
But, I can't take all the credit.
Thank you.
No.
I'm talking about my little buddy.
Nice work Molly.
It was great meeting everyone.
Now, who wants to drive me to the airport? I'll just take a cab.
The name the game is follow the Queen, keep an eye on her.
Oh, where you going pretty lady? Well I wasn't born yesterday.
She's right here.
You're good at this.
Now why don't we make this interesting? I'll play you the next round for your necklace.
Oh, how exciting.
What's going on? Staff picnic, Jimmy's serving family style.
In my house family style means trying to keep the salt away from my dad.
My mom's all "put it down Larry, your hearts going to explode!" Nice apron Jimmy.
Oh thanks I picked it up at the postal barbecue place on 57th.
So what's on the menu? Brisket, smothered in sugar and cayenne pepper.
Just like they make at Ace's High.
Hope everyone's hungry.
Hecks yeah, I'm starving.
Oh and if you hit something crunchy, I think Hanks ** fell into the grill.
That's weird I'm not starving anymore.
Ryan, must be having a lot of fun with his little buddy, we haven't seen him since this morning.
- Ah, what's up dribble widgets? - Oh good, there you are.
Ready to have some fun? Since when do you want to have fun? Well if I'm going to be in detention everyday, I might as well do something to earn it.
Alright, well for starters how about we break into the science lab, steal all the frog parts, and put them in tomorrows meatloaf? Keep talking.
Then we get a thousand crickets and put them in the nurses office.
I'm listening.
Why you acting so peculiar? Nah, no man.
Not at all.
Now tell me more about those pranks you want to pull.
Are you wearing a wire? Bunny rabbit! Bunny rabbit! You set me up! Thanks for the tip Ryan, you're a good kid.
Thanks guy.
I'll see you around dink weasel.
Ah! Come on!