Twenty Twelve (2011) s01e05 Episode Script
Episode 5
Coe has beaten Cram! What a marvellous finish! And Seb Coe gets the gold medal! ⪠There may be trouble ahead ⪠But while there's moonlight and music and love and romance ⪠Lets face the music and dance ⪠Let's face the music and dance.
⪠This programme contains some strong language.
Right, OK.
Shall we? OK, guys.
Let's do this.
Can I remind everyone, phones off, please? OK.
PHONE VIBRATES Before we get started Hi, Fran.
Sure.
Go ahead.
'As usual, it's Monday morning 'for London 2012 Head of Deliverance Ian Fletcher and his team.
' Yeah.
Not going to happen.
Sure.
But we don't want Richard Branson in any kind of Lycra.
'For the steering meeting, 'Ian is joined by Head of Contracts Nick Jellet, 'Head of Sustainability Kay Hope 'and Head of Brand, Siobhan Sharpe from PR company Perfect Curve.
' Cool.
Sure.
Fran, I've got to go.
OK.
Bye.
Right.
Before we get started, I had a call from upstairs this morning Right.
Here we go.
Seb had the idea that it would be good if as many of us as wanted to entered the London Marathon.
That's his best ever.
What? Run it? He's talked to you about this, Siobhan.
It's 26 miles! I'm doing it.
I'm so in, guys.
My ass is so in gear on this.
How far IS that? No compulsion, obviously.
Have a think.
I have done.
So, moving on Sure.
Thanks, Ian.
Still me, I think.
OK.
We've all had the CVs.
We'll look at those.
First, I want to talk about the interview process, how we want that to work.
'The main item this week is the appointment of Curator of the Cultural Olympiad, 'following the departure of the previous incumbent after "uncreative differences of vision".
' I've got nothing against the Cultural Olympiad.
I like guys on stilts, but why us? Haven't we got enough to do? I think after the complications Sure.
Seb and Boris and Tess were, like, "We're hands off on this.
" So something I do want us all to think about at this stage are the open questions that will allow us to discriminate As an example, a key question is, "What is the Cultural Olympiad"? That's a really good open question.
All right? Yeah.
I'm totally good with that.
It'll end up with guys on stilts.
'Nick has been thinking carefully about the London Marathon.
' It's a stupid idea.
I'll say it, if no-one else will.
Why do you say that? Fine, if you're Ethiopian or Nigerian or whathaveyou.
Those guys are elite athletes.
But 30,000 white guys staggering around behind them dressed as lions, soiling themselves and having heart attacks, that's not a sport.
'It's the day of the Cultural Olympiad interviews, 'but as Siobhan Sharpe arrives, 'it's clear that her marathon training programme hasn't started well.
' I just tore a muscle.
Is it serious? Johan's like, "You've got to rest for six weeks.
" That's not going to happen.
Johan's my coach.
You've got a coach? Sure.
You enter the London Marathon, you don't want to look like an amateur.
So he's, like, "There's nothing you can do.
" I'm, like, "Oh, really? So what's your job?" You don't respect his judgment? I hired the guy.
You don't pay good money for a coach to have him tell you what to do.
'Meanwhile, the first of the three candidates has arrived early.
' Can you get that to me by the end of the week? That'll be great.
Can I get a receipt, please? Thanks very much.
I've got to go.
'Anna Mitchell has come prepared not just for the interview itself 'but also for the possibility of being successful.
' Anna, come on in.
Thanks.
This is Kay Hi.
Siobhan Sharpe from Perfect Curve.
'In the building twice a month in an advisory capacity 'on the Paralympic closing ceremony planning group, 'Anna has her experience as Creative Coordinator for Belfast's year as European City of Dance to drawn on, 'as well as three weeks as Acting Head of Forward Planning at the Royal Opera House.
' Welcome to the ODC.
You don't need me Welcome.
To tell you how important this role is.
The Cultural Olympiad is at the heart of what we're all about.
Yes, it is.
Yeah.
It's also a term that can mean different things to many different people.
So that might be a good place Sure to start by Absolutely.
For me, personally, if the Cultural Olympiad is about anything, and I believe it is Sure.
Yes.
We're talking about underwriting a commonality of creative purpose through a shared awareness of diversity.
Right.
Would you like to say more about that? Yes, I would.
I'm struggling already.
Sure.
This was something I was keen to drive forward in Cardiff.
Yes.
We talked a lot about cultural "in-reach" as well as "out-reach".
Right.
Did you? Street theatre, public art, stand-alone eventaging or circus skills Guys on stilts! No.
Absolutely! 'Meanwhile, outside, the next candidate is arriving.
'As distant niece of ex Pakistan cricket captain Imran Khan, 'Roshanara Khan is no stranger to success.
'Rumoured to have enjoyed a brief spell at Oxford 'as younger sister to Boris Johnson's girlfriend, 'she rose to prominence in 2004 when she sold her internet fitness site, ripped.
com, for ã7 million.
' You're not nervous? No.
I don't get nervous.
My mother said to me, "Success comes in cans, not can'ts.
" It's like a pun, I guess.
Cans.
Yes, it is.
It's about creating public spaces where cross-cultural resonances can self-generate Yes, good.
Things start to get really exciting.
'Meanwhile, Anna Mitchell's interview is almost at an end.
' In Cardiff Great we used giant inflatable babies That's great.
Unless there are any more? No.
I don't think so.
NICK: You're joking.
We're done here.
ANNA: 'Basically, I enjoyed the whole experience.
' 'With the interview over, Anna has emerged having basically enjoyed the whole experience.
' I had a lot of things I needed to say and they sat there and listened.
So it was a genuine conversation.
Roshanara, let me do the introductions.
This is Kay Siobhan Sharpe from Perfect Curve.
'Meanwhile, for Ian and his panel, the next interview has started.
' I wonder if a good place to start might be to talk about the fundamental question.
What is the Cultural Olympiad? Yes, exactly.
In a sense, to ask what is it that we're celebrating here? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right.
And beyond that, what is it that constitutes British culture? Yeah, yeah.
Completely.
No.
We're asking YOU, love.
We're asking you what you think.
'It's becoming clear that, for Roshanara Khan, 'the Cultural Olympiad is more about questions than about answering those questions.
' We have a big cultural space, OK? So we take that idea and make it real.
You mean? What do you mean? We take our big cultural space, literally, like a huge tent Oh, cool and it goes round the country from city to city.
Cool.
This tent of yours, it's empty? Yeah, yeah.
Then we see what people want to put in it.
NICK: Like what, for instance? We literally see what people bring to the tent.
You put on a play? Install webcams.
If you want to know who we are culturally, log on, find out.
Plant a tree.
Tree? For sustainable future.
OK.
Why not? NICK: Guys on stilts! ROSHANARA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't try to make this about your parents 'For Ian, meanwhile, lunch time is a chance to catch up on other issues.
' It doesn't matter whether I want to see them or not.
That's not OK, then.
No, I don't particularly want to see them, since you ask.
And I don't want to see the Lion King, but that's not the Because, guess what, Laura, I've got quite a lot on.
I'm organising the fucking Olympic Games.
Ian's got very broad shoulders.
You never see them, but there's a lot of weight on them.
Does he ever talk to you about? He doesn't need to.
We're a team.
I know exactly what he's feeling.
Do you think he knows that? He doesn't need to.
Of course.
'It's the afternoon, and the third and final of the three candidates 'for Curator of the Cultural Olympiad has already arrived.
'Fidel Wilson was originally from Coventry, 'but then trained as a successful choreographer achieving notoriety 'for a series of spontaneous naked flash-mob events around the world.
' Let me do the introductions.
KAY HOPE, Head of Sustainability.
Nick Jellet Siobhan Sharpe.
Who is from Perfect Curve.
'He hit the headlines when violence broke out following a performance 'of his all-male stage version of Little Women in Venice.
' I'll start by asking you about your sense of what the Cultural Olympiad is about or could be about.
Cool.
Or should be about.
Sure.
Question.
Question.
Er Sport.
Art.
What they got in common? Right.
OK.
I'd say that's easy.
Nothing.
The body.
The body's where sport and culture meet.
Cool.
We've got this opportunity to find a national groove.
OK.
For me, this Cultural Olympiad has always been about, you know, it's 'It's already clear that, for Fidel Wilson, 'the Cultural Olympiad is a physical experience, as opposed to an idea.
' Bear with me, right? Young, old.
Black, white.
Rich, poor.
Whatever.
Stand together and say Today, we're gonna get up.
And we're gonna dance.
In the street.
Tomorrow, right? We're gonna jump.
For joy.
Day after that We run for our lives.
Right, well It's time, man.
We're here and we're now.
Right? And we're alive.
That's it.
Right.
Well Yay! I was wondering if you could say a bit more.
No.
That's what I've got, take it or leave it.
Right.
So, day 12.
Just done 10k with my friend Alice.
Think she was struggling a bit, but I feel great.
Never thought I could do this but it turns out I can.
'Meanwhile, Head of Sustainability Kay Hope, has started training for the marathon 'and is posting a daily video blog of her progress as a single mother.
' Made me realise what a great place I'm at.
Just me and Kieran.
Really happy things turned out the way they have.
Can do what I want.
Can go running, whatever.
Just really happy, basically.
It feels very private, just me talking about how I feel.
I suppose there are people out there who watch it, there must be.
How does that feel? I don't know if Simon is watching.
I don't care.
He probably isn't anyway.
I don't think about it, whether he is or he isn't.
No point in rushing training.
That way, a lot of injuries happen.
'Head of Infrastructure Graham Hitchens approached his preparations in a more scientific fashion.
' I've got my gait analysed.
Your gait? Yeah.
There's this South African guy in Kentish Town He might be from New Zealand.
Whatever.
What was the result of the analysis? That was quite interesting.
He looked at my feet and he told me to go outside and run 50 yards.
When I got back, he'd gone.
I'm thinking, "That's not a good sign.
" Being positive, Nick told me that he would pay a lot of money not to see me run.
So I'm thinking, basically, result! Yeah.
'Meanwhile, after last week's interviews for the Cultural Olympiad 'Ian has called the interview panel back to begin the postmortem.
' She talked a lot about that.
She talked a lot about everything.
Before we move towards a decision, it might be worth refocusing Thank you, Sally.
On our selection criteria.
'The hope is to reach a decision and to make an early announcement to the press.
' So, we're looking for merit and eligibility.
I'm good with that.
This is not about gut feelings.
No way.
Or a beauty contest.
If it were, that second lass would win hands down and she was useless.
'The panel seems to be moving towards some kind of decision.
' Roshanara Khan.
I'd like to support her because she's a woman but you've got to be suspicious about a woman who arrives looking like a supermodel.
That is NOT in the job description.
Well The job of being a woman.
If only it were that easy.
She's a nice enough lass.
She's had things easy.
I've no problem with that.
But you've got to have more up your sleeve than an empty tent.
Right.
Fidel Wilson.
He was great.
He was different.
He was way cool.
The question would be his experience, whether he can manage a team and administer a ã73-million budget efficiently to deliver his vision practically on the ground.
Right.
Now you're being daft.
'At last, there's a growing realisation 'that the panel has managed to eliminate all the candidates except Anna Mitchell.
' We went with the experienced candidate.
'Even though it's the end of a long day, Ian decides to go for a run 'instead of going straight home.
' It's not a requirement of the job that you have to like the person.
It isn't like a marriage where, if you don't like the person, it's just pointless and painful for everybody.
In a job like yours, is it difficult to keep your personal life? I'm going to go to the toilet now.
OK.
Right.
PHONE RINGS Hi.
How are you? Good.
I'm good 'As Head of Deliverance, Ian has got a big enough job to do, 'but he's got a call from Sebastian Coe, and that means putting everything on hold.
' The feeling in the room was that she was the most experienced candidate.
Right.
OK.
Right.
When you say, "It would have been good if" 'There is concern upstairs that in reaching an autonomous conclusion 'the interviewing panel should be mindful of the ethnic balance across executive appointments.
'Suddenly, a decision which seemed clear-cut 'is beginning to look increasingly as if it wasn't.
' Leave that with me.
I'll run it through the computer and see who sneezes.
Sure.
I'll get back to you as soon as Absolutely.
Understood.
OK.
Talk soon.
Bye.
It's up to you, obviously, but you might want to go now.
OK.
Right.
OK.
Um The key thing is that we sit on the Anna Mitchell press release.
I'm telling you what he said.
Siobhan, there's no point shouting.
'It's important now that Ian moves swiftly and decisively.
' I'll phone you back.
Bye.
Hi.
Oh, hi.
Right, I've had a call from upstairs.
I don't suppose it's possible to put a nine o'clock in? Sure.
I've done it.
I e-mailed Nick, Kay and Siobhan and left messages on their mobiles.
Sally, that's great.
It's going to be better if it's 8.
30.
I said 8.
30.
Right.
Brilliant.
Excuse the shorts.
Not a problem.
Thank God you were still here.
Thought I'd catch up then go straight to the gym.
Gym? Yeah.
Maybe you should enter the marathon.
Me? No way.
I could never do that.
Why not? I'm not fit enough.
Of course you are.
I do 10k on the running machine That's miles.
Be good to have someone to train with.
PHONE RINGS Siobhan, I said I'd phone you back.
You've got to understand, this is coming from upstairs.
Still the same flag pole, they've just changed the flag.
I've got a bit of nipple rash.
I think of it as a badge of honour.
'For Kay Hope, it's another day, another blog.
' Just a 5k, which is great, but women are amazing! I know it sounds funny, but no wonder men can't hack it.
It looks as if we've appointed a woman to run the Cultural Olympiad so I've been thinking, "Go, Anna Mitchell! Go, women! Go us!" Don't know.
No.
Don't know.
No.
Still don't know.
'Meanwhile, it's another day and Ian Fletcher is already under pressure.
' I have no idea what time I'm going to be back, do I? No, the thing is What you don't Ow! Fuck! NICK: They're supposed to be hands-off.
It's like Maoist China.
'By 8.
30, it's already groundhog day in the meeting room.
' Fine if you're Chinese.
I'm from Yorkshire.
Here's the thing.
We are where we are.
I have got journalists coming out of my ears.
We need to make a decision.
'After the response from above to their choice of Anna Mitchell, 'Ian called the panel in to discuss the merits of the other candidates.
' All right, let's do this in stages.
Are we in agreement that we don't want to offer the post to Roshanara Khan? No.
I'm sorry.
Let's take Roshanara out of the equation.
The next question is There aren't any more questions.
Siobhan, will you get a press release about Fidel Wilson ready? I'm on it.
This process is ridiculous.
Well, at least we didn't go public with Anna Mitchell.
That is good.
We should congratulate ourselves.
Yes.
That would have You're looking at a total shit storm.
So that's all good.
Yes.
In many ways, we would have preferred our original choice.
When someone invites you to re-examine a decision, sometimes you arrive at a better decision.
You think you've made a better decision? We've made a different decision.
In a boring world, different is good.
PHONE RINGING Hello.
Ian Fletcher's office.
'By lunch time, things are more different than Ian thought.
' I've had journalists calling me for the last hour.
'A journalist asked Anna Mitchell for her reaction to her appointment to the Cultural Olympiad.
' The blogosphere and Twitter world is going ape-shit.
What happens now? Ready for this? Yes.
She's in the building.
Right.
Can you believe it? No.
Yes.
For a Paralympics closing ceremony whatever thing.
So I haven't finished.
We can't announce Fidel Wilson because he hasn't turned his phone on and formally said yes.
Also, I'm getting unbelievable wind from all the running.
Oh, dear.
Have you finished now? Yeah.
How do you manage to keep calm when you're under so much pressure? It's not easy.
You could run a car off it.
It's incredible! Hi, there.
Hello, Ian.
'Meanwhile, the problem of what to say to Anna Mitchell has arrived sooner than Ian was ready for it.
' So, how are you? I'm good.
Good.
Yes, I'm pretty good.
Great.
Great.
BREAKS WIND DOORS OPEN Right, this is where I get off.
Are you? No.
I'm on the way up.
Right.
Are you? I think so, yes.
Good.
Maybe you'd like to pop into my office after your meeting.
Sure.
On your way down.
Yes.
Right.
Good.
I've phoned the web team and asked them to remove it from the site 'Kay has been quietly busy with her own issues.
'She's decided to discontinue her blog and pull out of the marathon.
' I was only running so I could blog about it.
That's the thing.
In the end, what's so great about having infected toenails? I've got other things in my life.
'Meanwhile, Anna has finished her meeting upstairs and is awaiting her appointment with lan and fate.
' I can't tell you anything yet.
You don't want to tempt fate.
Or take anything for granted.
Anna, hi.
Hi.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
No problem, Ian.
Come on through.
Please, have a seat.
'If Ian's task is to be the caring doctor 'explaining to a relieved patient they got the test results mixed up, 'Anna's task is to grasp that, in fact, she's going to die after all.
' Hi.
Oh, hi.
Still nothing back from Fidel Wilson? Not so far.
Tight hamstrings! What's the point of a mobile if you don't turn it on? 'With a potential crisis dealt with, all that's left is for final details to be settled.
' We haven't got a home number.
I feel he has an interesting home life.
BREAKS WIND Would you like another Wind-eze? No thanks.
Can't face any more.
I was thinking of trying to fit in another run, now that the decks are pretty much level again.
Right.
I don't know whether you brought your kit in today.
Yeah.
I think I did.
Right, well, maybe if PHONE RINGS Hello.
Ian Fletcher's office.
Oh, yes.
One second.
I'll see if he's available.
It's the DCMS.
What do they want? I'm just putting you through.
Thank you.
Hello.
What can I do for you? Yeah.
'But Ian Fletcher's is a world where the moment you think 'you're going for a run with your PA instead of seeing a lengthy musical with your wife's parents, 'the Department of Culture, Media and Sport phones up 'to say that, although it's vital the panel decides independently, 'in changing its mind about who to choose, it would seem perverse if the person eventually appointed 'was not, in some way or other, a woman.
' Sally, do we have a number for Roshanara Khan? Yes.
I've got it.
It's all good.
It removes a whole layer of uncertainty at a stroke Are you allowed to smoke in here? In an ideal world, we'd have gone with our second choice but the thing is to look for the positive.
So where is that? I'd started to think I'd lost any appetite for cigarettes.
Turns out, it's as strong as ever.
Let's get out there.
I've had enough of this office.
It's Fidel Wilson.
Oh.
Great.
He left a message while I was changing.
So, what does it? FIDEL: 'Shit! I left my phone at a friend's house.
'I can't believe it! OK, so, yeah, man.
'I'm pumped here! 'Point me at it.
I am ready to go on this.
'So, thank you, guys.
This is gonna be AWESOME! 'So call me, OK? 'Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Woo! Come on!' Right.
Hello? Is that Fidel? This is Ian Fletcher from the ODC.
Yes.
How are you? Good 'For the second time, Ian has the delicate task of helping someone who thought they were happy 'to understand that they really aren't.
' I very much hope that we can find an amicable OK.
So that's all good.
I picked these up.
Right.
If you want one.
Yeah.
It's been a long day.
Thanks.
That's great.
I don't know if you've got time for a run or if you have to get back.
Do you know what I'd like to do? No.
I'd like to go to a pub and I'd like to have a cold beer.
Right.
And then possibly another one.
After you've been running? Do you fancy going for a drink, Sally? Er Yeah.
OK.
Good.
# There may be tear drops to shed
⪠This programme contains some strong language.
Right, OK.
Shall we? OK, guys.
Let's do this.
Can I remind everyone, phones off, please? OK.
PHONE VIBRATES Before we get started Hi, Fran.
Sure.
Go ahead.
'As usual, it's Monday morning 'for London 2012 Head of Deliverance Ian Fletcher and his team.
' Yeah.
Not going to happen.
Sure.
But we don't want Richard Branson in any kind of Lycra.
'For the steering meeting, 'Ian is joined by Head of Contracts Nick Jellet, 'Head of Sustainability Kay Hope 'and Head of Brand, Siobhan Sharpe from PR company Perfect Curve.
' Cool.
Sure.
Fran, I've got to go.
OK.
Bye.
Right.
Before we get started, I had a call from upstairs this morning Right.
Here we go.
Seb had the idea that it would be good if as many of us as wanted to entered the London Marathon.
That's his best ever.
What? Run it? He's talked to you about this, Siobhan.
It's 26 miles! I'm doing it.
I'm so in, guys.
My ass is so in gear on this.
How far IS that? No compulsion, obviously.
Have a think.
I have done.
So, moving on Sure.
Thanks, Ian.
Still me, I think.
OK.
We've all had the CVs.
We'll look at those.
First, I want to talk about the interview process, how we want that to work.
'The main item this week is the appointment of Curator of the Cultural Olympiad, 'following the departure of the previous incumbent after "uncreative differences of vision".
' I've got nothing against the Cultural Olympiad.
I like guys on stilts, but why us? Haven't we got enough to do? I think after the complications Sure.
Seb and Boris and Tess were, like, "We're hands off on this.
" So something I do want us all to think about at this stage are the open questions that will allow us to discriminate As an example, a key question is, "What is the Cultural Olympiad"? That's a really good open question.
All right? Yeah.
I'm totally good with that.
It'll end up with guys on stilts.
'Nick has been thinking carefully about the London Marathon.
' It's a stupid idea.
I'll say it, if no-one else will.
Why do you say that? Fine, if you're Ethiopian or Nigerian or whathaveyou.
Those guys are elite athletes.
But 30,000 white guys staggering around behind them dressed as lions, soiling themselves and having heart attacks, that's not a sport.
'It's the day of the Cultural Olympiad interviews, 'but as Siobhan Sharpe arrives, 'it's clear that her marathon training programme hasn't started well.
' I just tore a muscle.
Is it serious? Johan's like, "You've got to rest for six weeks.
" That's not going to happen.
Johan's my coach.
You've got a coach? Sure.
You enter the London Marathon, you don't want to look like an amateur.
So he's, like, "There's nothing you can do.
" I'm, like, "Oh, really? So what's your job?" You don't respect his judgment? I hired the guy.
You don't pay good money for a coach to have him tell you what to do.
'Meanwhile, the first of the three candidates has arrived early.
' Can you get that to me by the end of the week? That'll be great.
Can I get a receipt, please? Thanks very much.
I've got to go.
'Anna Mitchell has come prepared not just for the interview itself 'but also for the possibility of being successful.
' Anna, come on in.
Thanks.
This is Kay Hi.
Siobhan Sharpe from Perfect Curve.
'In the building twice a month in an advisory capacity 'on the Paralympic closing ceremony planning group, 'Anna has her experience as Creative Coordinator for Belfast's year as European City of Dance to drawn on, 'as well as three weeks as Acting Head of Forward Planning at the Royal Opera House.
' Welcome to the ODC.
You don't need me Welcome.
To tell you how important this role is.
The Cultural Olympiad is at the heart of what we're all about.
Yes, it is.
Yeah.
It's also a term that can mean different things to many different people.
So that might be a good place Sure to start by Absolutely.
For me, personally, if the Cultural Olympiad is about anything, and I believe it is Sure.
Yes.
We're talking about underwriting a commonality of creative purpose through a shared awareness of diversity.
Right.
Would you like to say more about that? Yes, I would.
I'm struggling already.
Sure.
This was something I was keen to drive forward in Cardiff.
Yes.
We talked a lot about cultural "in-reach" as well as "out-reach".
Right.
Did you? Street theatre, public art, stand-alone eventaging or circus skills Guys on stilts! No.
Absolutely! 'Meanwhile, outside, the next candidate is arriving.
'As distant niece of ex Pakistan cricket captain Imran Khan, 'Roshanara Khan is no stranger to success.
'Rumoured to have enjoyed a brief spell at Oxford 'as younger sister to Boris Johnson's girlfriend, 'she rose to prominence in 2004 when she sold her internet fitness site, ripped.
com, for ã7 million.
' You're not nervous? No.
I don't get nervous.
My mother said to me, "Success comes in cans, not can'ts.
" It's like a pun, I guess.
Cans.
Yes, it is.
It's about creating public spaces where cross-cultural resonances can self-generate Yes, good.
Things start to get really exciting.
'Meanwhile, Anna Mitchell's interview is almost at an end.
' In Cardiff Great we used giant inflatable babies That's great.
Unless there are any more? No.
I don't think so.
NICK: You're joking.
We're done here.
ANNA: 'Basically, I enjoyed the whole experience.
' 'With the interview over, Anna has emerged having basically enjoyed the whole experience.
' I had a lot of things I needed to say and they sat there and listened.
So it was a genuine conversation.
Roshanara, let me do the introductions.
This is Kay Siobhan Sharpe from Perfect Curve.
'Meanwhile, for Ian and his panel, the next interview has started.
' I wonder if a good place to start might be to talk about the fundamental question.
What is the Cultural Olympiad? Yes, exactly.
In a sense, to ask what is it that we're celebrating here? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right.
And beyond that, what is it that constitutes British culture? Yeah, yeah.
Completely.
No.
We're asking YOU, love.
We're asking you what you think.
'It's becoming clear that, for Roshanara Khan, 'the Cultural Olympiad is more about questions than about answering those questions.
' We have a big cultural space, OK? So we take that idea and make it real.
You mean? What do you mean? We take our big cultural space, literally, like a huge tent Oh, cool and it goes round the country from city to city.
Cool.
This tent of yours, it's empty? Yeah, yeah.
Then we see what people want to put in it.
NICK: Like what, for instance? We literally see what people bring to the tent.
You put on a play? Install webcams.
If you want to know who we are culturally, log on, find out.
Plant a tree.
Tree? For sustainable future.
OK.
Why not? NICK: Guys on stilts! ROSHANARA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't try to make this about your parents 'For Ian, meanwhile, lunch time is a chance to catch up on other issues.
' It doesn't matter whether I want to see them or not.
That's not OK, then.
No, I don't particularly want to see them, since you ask.
And I don't want to see the Lion King, but that's not the Because, guess what, Laura, I've got quite a lot on.
I'm organising the fucking Olympic Games.
Ian's got very broad shoulders.
You never see them, but there's a lot of weight on them.
Does he ever talk to you about? He doesn't need to.
We're a team.
I know exactly what he's feeling.
Do you think he knows that? He doesn't need to.
Of course.
'It's the afternoon, and the third and final of the three candidates 'for Curator of the Cultural Olympiad has already arrived.
'Fidel Wilson was originally from Coventry, 'but then trained as a successful choreographer achieving notoriety 'for a series of spontaneous naked flash-mob events around the world.
' Let me do the introductions.
KAY HOPE, Head of Sustainability.
Nick Jellet Siobhan Sharpe.
Who is from Perfect Curve.
'He hit the headlines when violence broke out following a performance 'of his all-male stage version of Little Women in Venice.
' I'll start by asking you about your sense of what the Cultural Olympiad is about or could be about.
Cool.
Or should be about.
Sure.
Question.
Question.
Er Sport.
Art.
What they got in common? Right.
OK.
I'd say that's easy.
Nothing.
The body.
The body's where sport and culture meet.
Cool.
We've got this opportunity to find a national groove.
OK.
For me, this Cultural Olympiad has always been about, you know, it's 'It's already clear that, for Fidel Wilson, 'the Cultural Olympiad is a physical experience, as opposed to an idea.
' Bear with me, right? Young, old.
Black, white.
Rich, poor.
Whatever.
Stand together and say Today, we're gonna get up.
And we're gonna dance.
In the street.
Tomorrow, right? We're gonna jump.
For joy.
Day after that We run for our lives.
Right, well It's time, man.
We're here and we're now.
Right? And we're alive.
That's it.
Right.
Well Yay! I was wondering if you could say a bit more.
No.
That's what I've got, take it or leave it.
Right.
So, day 12.
Just done 10k with my friend Alice.
Think she was struggling a bit, but I feel great.
Never thought I could do this but it turns out I can.
'Meanwhile, Head of Sustainability Kay Hope, has started training for the marathon 'and is posting a daily video blog of her progress as a single mother.
' Made me realise what a great place I'm at.
Just me and Kieran.
Really happy things turned out the way they have.
Can do what I want.
Can go running, whatever.
Just really happy, basically.
It feels very private, just me talking about how I feel.
I suppose there are people out there who watch it, there must be.
How does that feel? I don't know if Simon is watching.
I don't care.
He probably isn't anyway.
I don't think about it, whether he is or he isn't.
No point in rushing training.
That way, a lot of injuries happen.
'Head of Infrastructure Graham Hitchens approached his preparations in a more scientific fashion.
' I've got my gait analysed.
Your gait? Yeah.
There's this South African guy in Kentish Town He might be from New Zealand.
Whatever.
What was the result of the analysis? That was quite interesting.
He looked at my feet and he told me to go outside and run 50 yards.
When I got back, he'd gone.
I'm thinking, "That's not a good sign.
" Being positive, Nick told me that he would pay a lot of money not to see me run.
So I'm thinking, basically, result! Yeah.
'Meanwhile, after last week's interviews for the Cultural Olympiad 'Ian has called the interview panel back to begin the postmortem.
' She talked a lot about that.
She talked a lot about everything.
Before we move towards a decision, it might be worth refocusing Thank you, Sally.
On our selection criteria.
'The hope is to reach a decision and to make an early announcement to the press.
' So, we're looking for merit and eligibility.
I'm good with that.
This is not about gut feelings.
No way.
Or a beauty contest.
If it were, that second lass would win hands down and she was useless.
'The panel seems to be moving towards some kind of decision.
' Roshanara Khan.
I'd like to support her because she's a woman but you've got to be suspicious about a woman who arrives looking like a supermodel.
That is NOT in the job description.
Well The job of being a woman.
If only it were that easy.
She's a nice enough lass.
She's had things easy.
I've no problem with that.
But you've got to have more up your sleeve than an empty tent.
Right.
Fidel Wilson.
He was great.
He was different.
He was way cool.
The question would be his experience, whether he can manage a team and administer a ã73-million budget efficiently to deliver his vision practically on the ground.
Right.
Now you're being daft.
'At last, there's a growing realisation 'that the panel has managed to eliminate all the candidates except Anna Mitchell.
' We went with the experienced candidate.
'Even though it's the end of a long day, Ian decides to go for a run 'instead of going straight home.
' It's not a requirement of the job that you have to like the person.
It isn't like a marriage where, if you don't like the person, it's just pointless and painful for everybody.
In a job like yours, is it difficult to keep your personal life? I'm going to go to the toilet now.
OK.
Right.
PHONE RINGS Hi.
How are you? Good.
I'm good 'As Head of Deliverance, Ian has got a big enough job to do, 'but he's got a call from Sebastian Coe, and that means putting everything on hold.
' The feeling in the room was that she was the most experienced candidate.
Right.
OK.
Right.
When you say, "It would have been good if" 'There is concern upstairs that in reaching an autonomous conclusion 'the interviewing panel should be mindful of the ethnic balance across executive appointments.
'Suddenly, a decision which seemed clear-cut 'is beginning to look increasingly as if it wasn't.
' Leave that with me.
I'll run it through the computer and see who sneezes.
Sure.
I'll get back to you as soon as Absolutely.
Understood.
OK.
Talk soon.
Bye.
It's up to you, obviously, but you might want to go now.
OK.
Right.
OK.
Um The key thing is that we sit on the Anna Mitchell press release.
I'm telling you what he said.
Siobhan, there's no point shouting.
'It's important now that Ian moves swiftly and decisively.
' I'll phone you back.
Bye.
Hi.
Oh, hi.
Right, I've had a call from upstairs.
I don't suppose it's possible to put a nine o'clock in? Sure.
I've done it.
I e-mailed Nick, Kay and Siobhan and left messages on their mobiles.
Sally, that's great.
It's going to be better if it's 8.
30.
I said 8.
30.
Right.
Brilliant.
Excuse the shorts.
Not a problem.
Thank God you were still here.
Thought I'd catch up then go straight to the gym.
Gym? Yeah.
Maybe you should enter the marathon.
Me? No way.
I could never do that.
Why not? I'm not fit enough.
Of course you are.
I do 10k on the running machine That's miles.
Be good to have someone to train with.
PHONE RINGS Siobhan, I said I'd phone you back.
You've got to understand, this is coming from upstairs.
Still the same flag pole, they've just changed the flag.
I've got a bit of nipple rash.
I think of it as a badge of honour.
'For Kay Hope, it's another day, another blog.
' Just a 5k, which is great, but women are amazing! I know it sounds funny, but no wonder men can't hack it.
It looks as if we've appointed a woman to run the Cultural Olympiad so I've been thinking, "Go, Anna Mitchell! Go, women! Go us!" Don't know.
No.
Don't know.
No.
Still don't know.
'Meanwhile, it's another day and Ian Fletcher is already under pressure.
' I have no idea what time I'm going to be back, do I? No, the thing is What you don't Ow! Fuck! NICK: They're supposed to be hands-off.
It's like Maoist China.
'By 8.
30, it's already groundhog day in the meeting room.
' Fine if you're Chinese.
I'm from Yorkshire.
Here's the thing.
We are where we are.
I have got journalists coming out of my ears.
We need to make a decision.
'After the response from above to their choice of Anna Mitchell, 'Ian called the panel in to discuss the merits of the other candidates.
' All right, let's do this in stages.
Are we in agreement that we don't want to offer the post to Roshanara Khan? No.
I'm sorry.
Let's take Roshanara out of the equation.
The next question is There aren't any more questions.
Siobhan, will you get a press release about Fidel Wilson ready? I'm on it.
This process is ridiculous.
Well, at least we didn't go public with Anna Mitchell.
That is good.
We should congratulate ourselves.
Yes.
That would have You're looking at a total shit storm.
So that's all good.
Yes.
In many ways, we would have preferred our original choice.
When someone invites you to re-examine a decision, sometimes you arrive at a better decision.
You think you've made a better decision? We've made a different decision.
In a boring world, different is good.
PHONE RINGING Hello.
Ian Fletcher's office.
'By lunch time, things are more different than Ian thought.
' I've had journalists calling me for the last hour.
'A journalist asked Anna Mitchell for her reaction to her appointment to the Cultural Olympiad.
' The blogosphere and Twitter world is going ape-shit.
What happens now? Ready for this? Yes.
She's in the building.
Right.
Can you believe it? No.
Yes.
For a Paralympics closing ceremony whatever thing.
So I haven't finished.
We can't announce Fidel Wilson because he hasn't turned his phone on and formally said yes.
Also, I'm getting unbelievable wind from all the running.
Oh, dear.
Have you finished now? Yeah.
How do you manage to keep calm when you're under so much pressure? It's not easy.
You could run a car off it.
It's incredible! Hi, there.
Hello, Ian.
'Meanwhile, the problem of what to say to Anna Mitchell has arrived sooner than Ian was ready for it.
' So, how are you? I'm good.
Good.
Yes, I'm pretty good.
Great.
Great.
BREAKS WIND DOORS OPEN Right, this is where I get off.
Are you? No.
I'm on the way up.
Right.
Are you? I think so, yes.
Good.
Maybe you'd like to pop into my office after your meeting.
Sure.
On your way down.
Yes.
Right.
Good.
I've phoned the web team and asked them to remove it from the site 'Kay has been quietly busy with her own issues.
'She's decided to discontinue her blog and pull out of the marathon.
' I was only running so I could blog about it.
That's the thing.
In the end, what's so great about having infected toenails? I've got other things in my life.
'Meanwhile, Anna has finished her meeting upstairs and is awaiting her appointment with lan and fate.
' I can't tell you anything yet.
You don't want to tempt fate.
Or take anything for granted.
Anna, hi.
Hi.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
No problem, Ian.
Come on through.
Please, have a seat.
'If Ian's task is to be the caring doctor 'explaining to a relieved patient they got the test results mixed up, 'Anna's task is to grasp that, in fact, she's going to die after all.
' Hi.
Oh, hi.
Still nothing back from Fidel Wilson? Not so far.
Tight hamstrings! What's the point of a mobile if you don't turn it on? 'With a potential crisis dealt with, all that's left is for final details to be settled.
' We haven't got a home number.
I feel he has an interesting home life.
BREAKS WIND Would you like another Wind-eze? No thanks.
Can't face any more.
I was thinking of trying to fit in another run, now that the decks are pretty much level again.
Right.
I don't know whether you brought your kit in today.
Yeah.
I think I did.
Right, well, maybe if PHONE RINGS Hello.
Ian Fletcher's office.
Oh, yes.
One second.
I'll see if he's available.
It's the DCMS.
What do they want? I'm just putting you through.
Thank you.
Hello.
What can I do for you? Yeah.
'But Ian Fletcher's is a world where the moment you think 'you're going for a run with your PA instead of seeing a lengthy musical with your wife's parents, 'the Department of Culture, Media and Sport phones up 'to say that, although it's vital the panel decides independently, 'in changing its mind about who to choose, it would seem perverse if the person eventually appointed 'was not, in some way or other, a woman.
' Sally, do we have a number for Roshanara Khan? Yes.
I've got it.
It's all good.
It removes a whole layer of uncertainty at a stroke Are you allowed to smoke in here? In an ideal world, we'd have gone with our second choice but the thing is to look for the positive.
So where is that? I'd started to think I'd lost any appetite for cigarettes.
Turns out, it's as strong as ever.
Let's get out there.
I've had enough of this office.
It's Fidel Wilson.
Oh.
Great.
He left a message while I was changing.
So, what does it? FIDEL: 'Shit! I left my phone at a friend's house.
'I can't believe it! OK, so, yeah, man.
'I'm pumped here! 'Point me at it.
I am ready to go on this.
'So, thank you, guys.
This is gonna be AWESOME! 'So call me, OK? 'Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Woo! Come on!' Right.
Hello? Is that Fidel? This is Ian Fletcher from the ODC.
Yes.
How are you? Good 'For the second time, Ian has the delicate task of helping someone who thought they were happy 'to understand that they really aren't.
' I very much hope that we can find an amicable OK.
So that's all good.
I picked these up.
Right.
If you want one.
Yeah.
It's been a long day.
Thanks.
That's great.
I don't know if you've got time for a run or if you have to get back.
Do you know what I'd like to do? No.
I'd like to go to a pub and I'd like to have a cold beer.
Right.
And then possibly another one.
After you've been running? Do you fancy going for a drink, Sally? Er Yeah.
OK.
Good.
# There may be tear drops to shed