Workin' Moms (2017) s02e05 Episode Script

Consent

1 ANNE: Previously on "Workin' Moms": It would be great if you could join us - at the pitch today.
- I'd love to, but I have to pick my kid up.
Everyone, this is Kate.
She's our new Creative Consultant.
So, how long you been a writer? Like, 5 minutes.
[LAUGHS.]
Brad, what are you doing here? Guess we're neighbours.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Today I'd like to dive into the issue of consent.
Ugh, consent today is insane.
According to the new rules, Lionel basically needs consent to even look at me.
Ugh! Such a buzz kill, right? I wanna be taken off guard, you know? Up against a fridge, with like, half-eaten carrot in my mouth.
Yeah, or a little bit of stranger danger like, ooh, who's this person cornering me in the change room? Uh I had intended that we discuss consent - in relation to children.
- ALL: [DISAPPOINTED GROANS.]
But you know, this is fun! It's also confusing.
Like, what if Nathan were to die god forbid and eventually, after a respectable amount of time, - I'm bangin' someone new? - Sure! How frequently does he have to ask for consent? - Oh, it's a grey area.
- Huh? Well, say I'm takin' it from behind, I'm on all fours, - it's gettin' hot.
- Table top.
My face is saying yes, he don't know that.
Does he have to tap my shoulder, do a double-check? - Mirrors? - Or what if it's a threesome, does everybody have to consent? Who here is having a threesome? Uh, wait, sorry, I've got some questions.
Um I just recently started seeing this girl.
ALL: [OHS AND AHS.]
Yeah, so do I need permission to touch her? - ANNE: Yes.
Yes.
- VAL: Oh yeah.
- Okay, um, kiss her? - Absolutely! Okay, so I just basically need permission to breathe.
- Are you breathing on her? - KATE: Mm hmm.
I would get a signature before you hold hands.
[WOMAN LAUGHS.]
Whoa.
Huh come on, come on.
[KATE SIGHS.]
Hey, we havin' a tea party? [MUSHROOMS SHAKE.]
Oh, are we planting a community garden? [LAUGHS.]
We're micro-dosing.
Is that a new client? A tiny pharmaceutical company? - [LAUGHTER.]
- You're hilarious, man.
No, we're just taking small doses of mushrooms.
It's the secret to maxing out your beta waves.
Except for preggers over here, a water! To the max then, cool, cool.
C-cool.
- Are you okay, Kate? - Mm hmm, yup.
Just wish I had a little bit more breakfast, but I'm sure I'm all right.
I'm all right.
I'm okay.
Have you never micro-dosed, Kate? Hm? No, I've micro-dosed.
A lot, yeah, and I've never um, overdosed that's the one you want to avoid.
Yeah, dog.
You guys miss the day at school where they taught ya how to share? We find it incredibly effective here.
Just a little bit, get us thinking whoa, Kate! Be caref We usually put a little in tea.
I can see why.
Like a boss! - [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- Just a sec! Oh.
Really? For me? Just being a good neighbour.
How are you uh, settling in? I'm good.
Everything's great, except for those very strange voices coming from next door.
I think I quit smoking three times already this week, - thanks to you.
- [CHUCKLES.]
What's up, man? What's up with the hypnotherapy? You use to be a real psychiatrist! I assure you, it resolves some very real issues for people.
Have you ever had a problem you just couldn't kick? I mean, you're clearly not overeating.
[SCOFFS.]
But have you had any anxiety recently, or I don't know, a hard time focusing? I mean, maybe a little trouble sleeping.
Well, why don't you swing by my office this afternoon.
[SIGHS.]
Really? [SLURPS COFFEE.]
Oh okay, sure.
I mean, as long as I don't come out clucking like a chicken.
[LAUGHS.]
Hypnotism's serious, Anne.
Hmm.
This is the first date that I've been on since my separation.
- Oh yeah? - Yeah.
[CAN POPS.]
I should probably try it just yeah.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
So this is like the major showdown with Damien.
He's like the bully of the nanny's group, okay? In-in fact, actually the baby he cares for is also a bully.
Right, so Damien [CLEARS THROAT.]
Damien, he's all like, yeah, unions are great on paper - I've got a better idea.
- Give me this.
- Okay, all right.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
- May I kiss you? - Uh, yes.
Okay.
Can I um can I put my hand up your shirt? [LAUGHS.]
Stop.
Oh, okay, sorry.
Wait, are you gonna ask me Or 'cause you totally have consent to take my shirt off - if you want to.
- Okay, this is weird.
Wait, no, no, no, no.
I'm sorry.
Have I done something non-consensual? - Unfortunately, no.
- No, wait, please just I'm sorry.
[SIGHS.]
I was in Toddler Time, and they-they filled my head with all this consent stuff.
Why were you talking about us in Toddler Time? Uh - I'm gonna go.
- Okay.
[MUFFLED.]
Hardware for Homes [PSYCHEDELIC MUSIC.]
[LAUGHTER.]
- [MUFFLED LAUGHTER, CHATTER.]
- [PHONE RINGS.]
Okay, we need to think bigger here, guys.
Hardware for Homes is our biggest client.
Wait like, what is a home? - Oh, whoa.
- Is that crazy? Earth is like a home.
Do you know it's 71% water? It's true, put it on the board.
Put it on the board.
What else does home evoke for you guys? You ever look at a homeless person and just wanna like, fuckin' cry? Like, they're home-less.
What happened to their home? What happened? - Someone took it.
- What? - No.
- Okay, hold up.
The client wants people to use their products while vying for a price.
Am I right? Am I? Am I right? - I don't know, are you right? - I am right.
Okay.
So, [CLEARS THROAT.]
We pitch a social media campaign where people use Hardware for Homes products, like nails, while building things like tables, then they post those pics with the hashtag Nailedlt.
Nailed it.
Then, at the end of the month, we choose the winner, and the cherry on the top? Winner gets a new house! Uh-uh.
- A new house! - Is anyone listening? I feel like no one's listening to me.
I don't know.
I just feel like it's not original enough.
Nailedlt.
Nail, Nailedlt.
Nail.
- It's really shitty.
- Ugh, he's right.
So inside the box.
Terrible.
- Oh My oh god.
- [PHONE BUZZES.]
Hey, is it okay if I take this? - Anything you need.
- Thank you, it's my best friend.
[PHONE BUZZES.]
- Richard, hi! - Hi, listen Katie, I'm sorry to bother you, but I need your help - with a new client.
- Okay, of course.
I don't think they're very happy.
Okay, okay, okay.
They're coming in this afternoon for one final pitch.
Don't worry, Pops, I'll be right there.
Why are you whispering? The baby's sleeping.
- [BALL CRASHES.]
- No! I need a bath! RICHARD: Look at him talking already, huh? MAMS: I need a bath! - Uh, yes, yes he is! - See you soon! MAMS: I need a bath! [DOOR OPENS.]
Ah, my 2:00.
Well, please, come in.
Miss uh Carlson.
Ha, ha.
Wow, nice office.
- West Elm? - Mmhm.
Antique.
This is gorgeous! You know it's actually probably the bulb you're complimenting, there.
I'm a huge fan of uh I know, I know.
You're a huge fan of soft wattage.
Term always gave me the creeps.
Makes a world of difference.
Ooh, Mont Blanc.
Ah, ah, let's not play with the fountain pen.
I wouldn't want us to break the nib.
You have not changed a bit.
Why don't you make yourself comfortable, on the couch? - Lay down.
- Oh, I think I'll sit.
Kinda part of the process.
[ANNE CLEARS THROAT.]
Now let's tend to that uh, sleeping problem.
So Anne, I want you to take in a deep, deep breath.
[ANNE INHALES DEEPLY.]
And out 2 3 Eyes closed.
In 2 3 And out [SOFT MUSIC PLAYS.]
Hey.
You're doin' just fine.
How would you feel If I told you BRAD: Okay, I'm gonna bring you back now, counting down from 5 4 3 2 1.
[BRAD SNIFFS.]
- [LEATHER RUSTLES.]
- That's it.
Have a good night, Anne.
Sleep well.
Thanks.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[SIGHS.]
Oh man The fuck you wearing, Foster? Hey, you know, it's not cool to comment on a woman's appearance, Mo.
It's a faux pas.
- Where's my Daddy at? - Are you okay? Yeah, yeah.
So, Richard just greeted the Impeccable Polish reps in the boardroom, were you planning on Come on, hey it's all right.
[KATE INHALES DEEPLY.]
Yeah, it's okay.
MO: What the fuck? Ah, yeah, Papa! - Kate, what - My Dad! [CHUCKLES.]
She's kidding, obviously.
Uh, always the jokester, this one.
[BIRDS SQUAWKING.]
RICHARD: Ladies, let me introduce you to uh, Kate Foster, one of our most treasured minds, here at Gaze.
Hmm.
And uh, of course you know Mo.
Oh, I love your nails.
Look at those nails! They're just like a couple of lighthouses, just guiding ships in.
RICHARD: Okay, um [CLEARS THROAT.]
So, Impeccable Polish is looking to get some publicity through a social media campaign, something along the lines of a a contest, - or a challenge.
- I've got it.
No, I haven't finished explaining yet, Kate.
Here's what you're gonna do.
You're gonna have people make beautiful designs with your amazing array of polish colours.
Who came up with Mango Madness? [BIRD SQUAWKING.]
KATE: Yeah, man.
Right on.
Absolutely! I bet it even tastes like mangoes.
Does it taste like mangoes? No? Anyway.
You have people use the polish, then post pics of their homemade manicures with the hashtag Nailedlt.
Then, the most liked pic wins the honour of naming your next polish colour, meanwhile, you're getting free publicity, you're selling product, and what's that? What's that? You're trending.
Well, it's simple.
But Yeah, let's do this! That's my girl.
Yeah, right.
I'm like the Lizard King, you know what I mean? [MAKES SUCKING SOUND.]
BRAD: Good girl.
Keep breathing, just like that.
[FORWARDS RECORDING.]
BRAD: What do you like to do to prepare for sleep? It's good to have that quality time before bed.
The body needs that time to adjust for bed, prepares the body.
We all have things we like to do in bed before we sleep.
I, for instance like to masturbate.
It's very relaxing.
You know, sometimes I masturbate to the time that you and I had sex on that boat in Maine.
Do you remember that, Annie? I do.
Could barely hear you climax over the sound of the ocean.
I think that's what always bothered me about the way that you orgasmed.
It was just so tepid.
And I've been with so many women since you that have the most incredible orgasms.
This one girl, right after you, ah, she would actually drool.
It's fantastic.
I'm sorry you're never gonna be able to achieve that, Anne.
From now on when you climax, I want you to think about how hard other women cum.
And how shallow your own experience is.
Okay, I'm gonna bring you back now, we're counting down from 5 4 3 2 1.
[VACUUM WHIRS.]
[KEYS JINGLE.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CREAKS CLOSED.]
[BAGS HIT FLOOR AND COUCH.]
[SIGHS.]
God, this is so comfortable.
[SIGHS.]
Climax.
Orgasm, masturbate.
I think that's what always bothered me about the way that you orgasmed.
It was just so tepid.
Tepid.
I'll show you tepid.
[EXHALES.]
I've been with so many women since you that have the most incredible orgasms.
This one girl, right after you, ah, she would actually drool.
I'm sorry you're never gonna be able to achieve that, Anne.
[ANNE GRUNTS.]
Tepid.
From now on, when you climax, I want you to think about how hard other women cum.
[ANNE GRUNTS.]
And how shallow your own experience is.
Ah, fuck.
[SIGHS.]
[WIPES HAND ON PILLOW.]
[FEET THUD ON FLOOR.]
[SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
[PEN CLINKS.]
- [ANNE SIGHS.]
- [ZIPPER CLOSES.]
[OBJECTS CLATTER.]
- [PHONE RINGS.]
- Come on, Kate, pick up.
Pick up! VOICEMAIL: Hey, hey, this is Kate, leave a message.
Dude, it's me.
Did you lose your phone, or something? I need you.
I miss you.
[LOW HUM OF CHATTER.]
How's your pasta? It's still good.
[GULPS WINE.]
[URINE SPLATTERS.]
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN, CLOSES.]
[EXHALES.]
Come on.
Need help with that? - Whoa, hey, what's - It's okay.
Just pee.
It's okay.
[URINE SPLASHES.]
[SIGHS.]
- Are you listening? - Yeah.
You have consent to do whatever the fuck you want.
Okay.
[MOANS.]
Wait, wait, wait, go slow, okay? Yeah, no, of course.
Yeah.
[SONYA SCREAMS.]
[DOOR OPENS, SLAMS.]
Jesus, what fresh hell is this? [KEYS THUD.]
Alice had something that she wanted to talk to you about.
Okay? Who's this? Yeah, you know how you're always telling me to put things away after I'm finished using them? - Huh.
- Shit.
- Who is this? - Honey [LIONEL SCOFFS.]
Before I was with your Dad, I was with another man, and uh well, we got married.
For how long? Just a year, because he wasn't the right person.
Why is she so quiet? Why, why is she being so quiet? Stop.
- Is he my real Daddy? - Oh my god, honey, no! - No, no, no, no, no.
No! - Lionel's your Dad.
No, no, no, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, I am 100% your Dad, okay? Well, how am I supposed to believe that and you never told me about this guy? [ALICE SIGHS.]
- Hey, baby, you're home! - Ah! Yeah.
Hey, can I give him to you to put down tonight? Oh, of course! - Here you go.
- Here you go, buddy.
- Hi, my love.
- Okay, I gotta go.
- There you are.
- Where? Guys' night.
I thought I mentioned it earlier? Yeah, no, no, for sure.
Sorry, I'm just tired.
[WHISPERS.]
Hey baby, it's okay.
Okay, all right.
- Don't wait up for me, okay? - Oh okay.
[FOOTSTEPS THUD ON STAIRS.]
Hey, little baby, how 'bout we get you to bed, okay? [DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES.]
Kate, it's Richard.
Listen, check your email, we just launched that, what is it, hashtag thing whatever.
Anyway, great job again today.
You've uh, you really Nailedlt.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Anyway, see ya tomorrow.
VOICEMAIL: Next message.
PURDEEP: Hey, Kate, Purdeep.
The Hardware for Homes was bombing, so we dropped your Nailedlt campaign.
They fucking lost their shit! We just went live with the hashtag, and it's insane! There is like 500 posts already.
Great job! You should micro dose every day.
- [TEXT MESSAGES PING.]
- [EMAILS CHIME.]
- [TEXT MESSAGES PING.]
- [EMAILS CHIME.]
[SIGHS.]
Oh no.

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