100 Bloody Acres (2012) Movie Script

Good morning how are you?
It's nice to see your face
Good morning how are you?
It's nice to see your face
Good morning, how are you ?
That was the Moyer Sisters
with their knockout hit from 75,
" Good morning, how are you ? "
What a perfect way to start this
Australia Day weekend.
Bernard St. John with you
on Sunshine 626.
And stay tuned for
more classic Aussie hits
right after these messages.
Oh, come on, Bernie.
You all right, mate?
So, how did you do
that thing to your, uh...
Jeez, it's, uh...
No, I can't, I can't.
Oh, come on, Soph.
Living dangerously for a minute.
Maybe two.
Oh, my God.
That happened here.
What is it?
There was this awful accident
but they didn't find any of the bodies.
Abducted by retarded aliens maybe.
Oh, shit.
Mission accomplished.
Okay, just a sec.
Look at you, manly mechanic man.
I was checking the lower hose.
I thought she might have sprung a leak.
I really thought that
all girls were up to it.
Oh, no, no, she is, she is.
She just doesn't take kindly to being
on the road, all the time.
- Yoink.
- Especially on longer roads.
I am a good driver.
I know, no, you are, you are.
She just... I mean.
She must have the radiator checked.
But it's fine, it's not your fault.
I mean, it's hot today
and everything, so...
You're right.
I guess I could have
the SUV off dad,
but I thought, you
know, I'd like you...
No, we'll be fine if we just...
let it cool down a bit.
Getting back on it would
be another story.
Sticking to the highway
sound like too crazy of an idea, Wes ?
Join all those wankers in the shit fight ?
Tedious, man.
- Mm.
- Mm.
You look amazing today, Soph.
Well, as... as Wes I...
slipped to you something. I...
You've been acting weird
all the way up here.
I'm just excited about
this weekend, that's all.
Maybe, you take your hands...
Let's go motherfuckers !
Hey, Wes, you might want to
... just give it a minute.
- It's alright.
- I'm serious, mate.
Hey, I know what I'm doing, man.
No, you don't.
Looks like we're walking.
Hold on.
Hey, wait, look, it's us.
Don't worry, Maigret,
we're not stopping.
Stop, we're not bad people !
What the fuck?
Here, you've earned it.
Jesus, what - what is that ?
Here you are.
Out of the way.
Wes !
Hey, get out of the way!
Get off the fucking road!
Hey, how you doing?
Your boyfriend got a death
wish or something?
I do apologize for that -
just for him, generally.
You just don't do that
kinda thing out here.
I know.
I'm Sophie.
Hi Reg, um, we're going to
that music festival, Stockport.
You not going in that
direction, by any chance?
- Um...
- How is it going, man?
Hey, what were you playin' at mate?
I could have...
I could've killed you.
No way, mate, I'm indestructible.
Where are you going, Reg?
No, I got to do a run
past Charlie's place.
Oh, come on, we're close, yeah?
No, I - I'm in the middle of me run.
So much for the famous
Aussie hospitality, eh ?
Wes !
Sorry, mate, let you get on your way.
Come on, guys.
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Hey, I was thinkin'...
I reckon I can take us.
Cheers, mate.
But I got to make a little
stop by over at the plant
and pick up a few more bags.
I have your thing in 20
minutes, give or take.
Really? Thank you so much, Reg
Wicked, man.
You boys, happy sittin' in the back?
- I can't fit you all up front.
- Cool with me.
It gets a bit pongy in there, but...
- Yeah, not worries.
- I'm Wes, by the way, mate.
- This is, uh, this is James.
- Yeah, good day.
Well, I'm glad to know yous.
Well, give us a tick while
I tidy a few things up.
Stay here, alright?
Thanks, cobber.
No wuckers mate.
- Wes.
- What?
We can, uh, we still walk if you want.
Do you have a
problem with Outback Jack?
Soph is cool with it, right?
In fact, you know what,
you two might be related.
You know what they say?
You can take the girl
outta the country,
but you can't take the country boy
out of the country girl's pussy.
Bugger !
- I'm gonna go help him.
- No, it's alright.
Yeah, yeah, we'll go, Soph.
Need a hand, mate?
No, no, no, we're good to go.
Just, uh, you might want
to hold your noses, but -
Mate, I just spent three months
living next to an open
sewer in Yjogjakarta.
I think I can handle it.
Whoa !
This gotta be be some
sort of health risk.
No, no, youse'll be alright.
It's just some blood and bone
three or four kinds of manure.
A bit of road kill.
Come on, the product's organic.
Hey, it's mostly organs, so, uh, yeah.
Hey ?
No, it's all good.
It's all good -
Australian for, everything's fucked.
Yeah, alright, just be careful
with them bags, eh ?
I got' em set up perfect.
So, let's... close her up
and, uh, make a quick
run past the plant.
Rising and falling
like waves on the tide
of life that's so free
The Class of '74
I thought you'd be a bit
young for this kind of thing.
Oh, no, Bernie has been
playing this one for years.
Ah, the sweet, sweet sounds
Brian Cadd and class 74.
- Brian who?
- Sh- hh.
You're listening Bernard St. John
on Sunshine 626.
- Bugger.
- What is it?
The ad, he promised
to start playing it today.
You've got your own ad ?
Oh, that's you on the
side of the truck?
You're like a local
celebrity or something.
Well... just kinda.
- Come on, Jeeze, Bernie !
- Yeah, come on, Bernie !
Another superbly crafted
Wesley wang -dang.
- A masterpiece.
- Mm- mm.
Hey, you're not going
to smoke now, eh ?
Why not ?
Dude, think of all the methane here.
- It'll blow us up.
- Bullshit.
Yeah, there's three
different kinds, apparently.
But you and I are
busting this bad boy
as soon as we get there.
We shall do some acid then.
Uh, no, man, I'm good.
They are blue Sunshines.
Yeah, I just want to keep a
head straight this weekend.
- Thanks.
- Suit yourself.
Business is good, then?
Demand's picked up, that's for sure.
Good for you.
And we just landed a contract
with Charlie Wick and Sons.
They sell these parts to Big Chicken.
You know ?
Oh, yeah, the chicken guys?
They are big.
Yes, I guess...
I guess that's good news for us.
For me.
Rich and famous.
Aw, just a little bit.
I could never would move back here.
Hey? You from Yandoit?
Oh, no, not here, but, you know...
from the country.
Oh, I thought you were
one of them city... slickers.
I am, sort of.
Dad shipped me off to boarding school
when he was 13 and I never came back.
Oh, you'll love it out here then.
There's always something going on.
Uh, you've got Dazzlers in town
if you need a feed.
Uh, we Fairylands, state's
best kept secret.
Oh, I hope you don't miss it, they're
only open third Sunday of the month.
What else we got?
Your own local mystery.
- Huh?
- That Salvo Six thing.
Oh, that was... really...
No, no it's Penny White Hill.
Really sad.
You and your boyfriend
should go check that out.
Oh, sorry. That just slipped out.
- I didn't mean to.
- Are you on to me?
Nah, nah, nah, no, I don't
know nothing about anything.
Look, I'm not an angel,
Reg, but I reckon,
on holiday, a pretty good girlfriend.
Yeah, of course you have.
You know what's like, right?
Sometimes in the heat of the moment
you do stupid things.
You never know then,
I reckon youse got to say
to hell with the consequences.
We are only flesh and blood.
And bone.
Hah, that's funny.
Hey, do you know what's on her?
Did I ever tell you about
a fat German backpacker
I caught crabs off Ibiza, man?
I had to shave my
balls and everything.
The last time I lower
my standards, man.
Sorry, what, your standards?
Hey, you may not think it, buddy,
but I've thought you've grown
up since I saw you guys last.
- Alright.
- Serious, man.
Staying in the world
that changes you.
But, it's not - it's not
all about the pussy.
It's about meeting new people,
sharing ideas.
You are a real citizen of the world
with your shaved balls.
Our spot is rather pretty good, huh?
So... you and Soph...
- Yeah, we're doing okay
- You've had a good run.
Yeah, that's great.
No Seven Year Itch, there?
You need to shave your
balls for that as well?
Yeah, I can recommend a balm.
I, uh...
Check this out, yeah?
Jeeze, man.
You mean business.
Gonna pop the question
tonight when John Butler is on.
Yeah, she loves the guy,
don't ask me why.
That's about the
gayest thing I ever heard.
Oh, Jesus, oh!
Jesus, fuck !
Hey, hey!
Hey, mate, mate, you alright?
Oh, shit, man, you're
completely fucked up.
Well, he's fucking dead!
So, is there a special lady
in Reg Morgan's life?
Ah, well, it's me Auntie Nance.
Oh, you mean like a...
Yeah, you know.
Yes, I do have a...
There is a, uh - uh,
a lady friend, actually.
Nice, what's her name?
Becs, called her Becs.
Local girl?
No, she's a...
she's a... a slicker.
A bit like you, eh?
Hey, hey, turn it up.
- You like Slim?
- I love him.
Dad used to play this all the time.
I love having beer with Duncan
I love having beer with Dunc
Me drink in moderation
Well, maybe he'll just drop us off.
He doesn't know
that we have found it.
Are you kidding?
One mangled corpse
and three new victims.
This shit happens, man.
It happens all the time.
I mean, I don't know
what the statistics are.
It's up in my head, but... fuck!
You go out into the bush
and you run every risk
of bumping into one of
these psycho hillbilly fucks !
First of all they, have
a little fun with you,
then they tie you up,
watch you squirm.
Then they start sticking
pencils up your arse
and setting fire to your cock!
Hey, we need to get him to pull over.
And it won't really matter
if the beer was flat
See, I'm a country girl at heart.
I love to have
a beer with Reggie
Cause Reggie's me mate.
Hey, you know what?
Maybe them bags can wait.
I'll just take you straight
to your festival thingy, huh?
That would be great.
Christ, here we go.
Maybe we should pull over,
and give them some air.
Yeah, yup.
Alright, they win.
Let's pull over, and
see what they want.
Well, they can hold on a bit, eh?
Come on.
For your cousin country.
Well, just a quick breather, then.
Wait here, eh?
Sure, I'll keep an
ear out for the ad.
Hi, fellas.
Yes, it is a little pongy, isn't it?
Who is he talking to?
Hey mate, I just remembered
I've got this allergy
to marsupial furs.
I'm breaking out in a rash.
So, there you go,
you've had a bit of air!
Now, why don't you get back in and
I'll get youse to your festival ASPC.
Open the bloody doors, man!
How are you poofters doing back there?
The prof... the boys are doing fine.
Okay, I'll... I'll just close her up!
Keep your fucking
hands off her, alright?
I'm not gonna do nothing,
but if you guys don't shut up!
This is completely fucked.
Open the doors!
Hi, Reg, ads back on.
It's all comfy?
Now, let's just go to
your festival thingy!
Is everything okay?
It's all good.
Better get a move on, eh?
In your party.
Come on fingers.
Uh, come to think of it,
we gonna be going
past the plant anyway.
Might grab those bags after all, eh?
You're the one doing us a favor.
Fuck you, Bernie.
Morgan's Organic, this is Lindsay.
Linds, Charlie Wick.
What's the holdup?
Still waiting for the delivery.
- Well, Reg isn't there yet?
- No, he's not.
You know I've got
to start plantin' today.
You know I've got ten
blokes sitting around here
scratchin' their balls.
A lot of stake with this crop.
For all of us, mate, for all of us.
You are a bloody winner with
that new blend, Linds.
but I gotta tell you,
the rep from Yates
is pretty keen for me business.
You get your bags, it's solved, mate.
Symbol of Morgan Brothers guarantee.
Hang on, I'll call you
back in two shakes.
- Here we are.
- Here we are.
Nice spot.
Shall I give you a hand?
Yeah. Ta.
Hey guys, what's happening out there?
Maybe we should let them out.
Yeah, we will be two ticks.
I just gave them some air.
You saw me back there.
Seriously, Reg
Stay away from him, Soph!
Soph, are you there?
- James!
- Let's just get the bags first.
Charlie Wick phoned.
Still waiting on that...
Afternoon, Miss.
What's going on here?
This guy is dead!
There's a body in here!
He's fucking nuts!
What are you doing?
Reg, Reggie mate!
Shit and derision.
This isn't funny!
I still haven't heard the ad.
Did you hear anything?
Don't know why Bernie
is holding out on us.
Who is that?
Oh, that's Sophie.
And who the fuck is that?
Their boyfriends.
No, mate.
Well, one of them is her boyfriend...
Oh, I don't know, it's complicated.
Oh... plus the dead fella
I found along
Jilljara Road this morning.
What fucking fuck have you done?
We have some Freshies, Linds.
You've always said that if
the stars were maligned
we should just go through with it.
Like with the Salvo Six.
Those dionaeas were
already dead, fuck arse.
This kind of shit requires
careful planning and execution,
something which you failed
to accomplish on your own.
God knows who might have seen you.
No one saw nothing, Linds.
Now, come on, you're always saying
I got to be more initiative and stuff.
There is a chain of
command here, Reginald.
Maybe you forgot who runs this joint?
I'm just thinking of the business.
Now, I've seen how cut up he were,
fillin' up their new bling
bags with the old gear.
Now, we don't want to shock
our number one customer.
We don't do that sort of thing
here at Morgan Brothers.
Why do you think I keep
puttin' off the delivery?
What if Charlie's next crop
don't turn out like the last?
He will strike back
to them Yates boys.
That will be the end
of all the good work
that we did, you done.
I'm sure we can work
something out together.
- We, uh... we..
- Yeah, we...
We need you to remain calm, Miss.
Hey, hey, just don't touch me
with that fucking stick, man.
I advise against making a
run for it, shit face.
Reg is pretty canny with that thing.
Help, help, help, help!
No use hollering for
Marshall out here, boys.
You are in a hundred bloody acres.
What have you done with her?
Nothing, we just tied her up and...
Shut it, Reg
Oh, yes.
Move it!
- Morgan's Organic
- They're playin' it!
will get your garden
growing great
Oh that's a Morgan
Brothers' guarantee.
- Hi I'm Lindsay.
- And I'm Reg .
And we're here...
No, don't move!
Shoot him, Reg!
Wes, run!
- Shoot him, Reg!
- Run away!
Shoot him!
For Christ's sake, shoot him!
For bringing a foreign prick in here.
The ad come up alright, eh?
People are expecting us, you know?
Yeah, we spoke to 'em, uh, before.
I need some quiet here, please.
Hey, man, we just want to
get to our festival, you know?
Listen to some music, get fucked up.
We'll probably forget
all about this, come Monday.
Put a bloody lid on it!
This is a very stressful
time for all of us.
Who is this guy, anyway?
I thought you ran this alone.
Come on, Reggie.
What is Becs gonna think?
Oh, she'll be alright, I reckon.
Come here, Reg.
You took some initiative, eh?
Yeah, that's right.
Come here, mate.
You're not gonna hurt me, are you?
Come here.
Bit different when they
talk back to you, eh?
See, I knew you...
I'm in a very invidious
position, Reginald.
Remember what Auntie Nance told you.
Deep breaths.
If you were me...
If you were the boss...
What would you do, huh?
I'll probably just let 'em go.
Oh, yeah, I haven't hurt anyone yet.
No, no, I.. I don't know.
What would you do?
If Charlie Wick wants a new blend
he's gonna get a new blend.
Now, get up and give
us a hand, fuck arse.
James, James?
Hey, you okay?
Yeah, you?
Hey, Soph?
Check this shit out.
I can't promise I'll have you
out in time for John Butler,
but, uh, what do you
make of that then?
Jesus, Wes, hurry.
Don't worry, I'm fucking flying here.
This acid is awesome,
it's very clean.
If you get out, just run.
Like, run for your fucking life.
Get to the main road, find help.
I'll be fine.
I feel fucking amazing, guys.
Morgan Organic, leave a message.
Linds, this is Charlie.
Still no sign of the bloody Reg
hear from you soon, eh?
Filter clean?
Yeah, I did the first thing.
I'll take care of this little prick.
You do the other two.
Gag 'em.
Oh, right.
This shit is intense.
Don't you dare hurt her,
you fucking psycho!
We're not psychos, alright!
We're small business operators.
Not too tight?
Stop talking to 'em, Reg
Well, I ain't.
It's time to wake the old girl up.
You take care of the hock grabbers.
What I wouldn't give to get my
hands on the new Jarvis.
When things really pick up, eh?
Looking forward to see
potassium levels on our mate.
Hey, Reg, take care of these Dacks.
Come on, Reg
Not here to fuck spiders.
Send him up.
Good to go.
Nice and easy!
Uh, Linds.
Wincy aren't you?
Turn it off, Linds,
we gonna kill him!
You'll be right, mate!
I've got ya!
Holy shit.
We got liquid gold here, mate.
Potassium levels through the roof.
You little ripper, eh?
You have done good this time, Reggie.
Well, maybe... maybe there
is more goodness in 'em
if they haven't carted.
You know, if the heart
is still beating in there
- like, like...
- An overactive gland?
Hey, hey?
Hey, man, we could fertilize
the Nullarbor with this gear.
Hey, mixing some of the old blend,
we could have these bagged up
and over to Charlie by stumps.
Yeah, nah.
We need more than one hairy bastard
if we're gonna do this right.
We will burn a lot of them.
We put it on the max setting for you.
Should all be over pretty quick.
The more they struggle,
the better, I reckon.
Gonna keep those glands excited, yes.
Oh shit a brick!
Strip off denims.
Might be fartin' around this time.
Give it to ya.
Could be a small down payment
for the new Jarvis.
Catch it, Reg, go on, get it!
- The 303, dickhead.
- Oh, yeah.
Please mate,
just... just jump out!
That's over there.
Come on!
Sorry, Linds, I couldn't stop it.
I'll go get him.
You need a hand?
Try not to do anything
stupid while I'm gone.
Nancy and girls are promise
river do.
Except Salvo Six
fundraiser next Saturday
at King George Showgrounds.
got to tell listeners,
really looking
forward to judge them.
You've reached 0104688.
Please leave a message.
Oh, hi, Auntie Nance, it's Reggie.
Just calling up to
have one of our chats.
Oh, it's nothing important.
I should get back to work, eh?
See ya.
Gee, it's running great.
Hi, I'm Lindsay, and I'm
Reg, and we're here
to tell you about our
sensational new blend.
Our organic... rich in nitrate
calcium, and potassium.
So, whether you're
sprinkling on your vegetables
Morgan new blend will get
your garden growing great.
That's a Morgan Brothers' guarantee.
A Morgan Brothers'
guarantee that is.
We'll fertilize ya!
... Reg and Lindsay's
powerful new blend.
and I have had the chance
to use it myself, by the way.
and it's superb stuff.
Your acanthus will be overdrive.
Your frange will
look just fantastic.
In fact, it's so good,
you gonna eat it yourself.
Coming up now, we...
I'm not talking to you.
You know this one too?
Mm- hm.
Alright, but no screaming
or nothing, okay?
- I'll do it real quick.
- Oww!
Please Reg, please let's go.
I swear we will look after you.
We'll make sure you
don't get into any trouble.
No, I can't.
I know you're not a bad person.
You're a good person
who just done some...
some bad things.
Your brother, he is
the one behind all this.
It's his idea.
That's what we'll tell them.
But it wasn't his idea!
It was my idea this time!
It was my stupid bloody idea!
But I saw you try to save that guy.
Lindsay is the one
they're going to put away.
He never sees how much
I try, how much I put in.
Maybe... you can come over here
and I could help you to relax.
I'm sure that I could ease
some of that tension for you.
He doesn't have to find out.
Ya know, it's... just you and me.
What do you mean?
All that flirting in the truck.
You can't tell me there wasn't
something going on between us.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Isn't there somewhere
that we can be alone?
Becs just doesn't have to find out.
No, no, no, no, no, this isn't right.
Come here, Reg
Come on.
Are you serious?
Of course I'm serious.
Touch my cheek.
That's it.
Now, let down my hair.
Now kiss me.
Untie me, Reg
What's wrong?
No... no, no, no, no.
I know what kind of girl you are.
I've seen your type on TV.
Paris Hilton and all them other...
You're all the bloody same.
- No.
- All you want...
is sex and drugs and a good time!
- It's not right!
- No, I'm not like that!
I... I want to get closer to you.
I thought that we had a connection.
Nah, nah.
A real lady doesn't want to
thingo every bloke she meets.
A real lady doesn't
flirt with strangers.
A real lady wouldn't be doin'
two blokes at the same time!
No, that's not true!
You told me yourself!
Oh, three blokes now.
Please Reg!
I thought us country folks were
supposed to look out for each other.
No, you ain't country.
You're a...
city slut!
I'm just trying to
get us out of here.
He's obviously talking shit, James!
Sunshine so good to me
Do you believe in the old saying,
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained?"
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The March Hare and the Mad Hatter
are sitting at one side...
Fuck me, Rhonda.
Um, keys, keys, keys.
She was so fair that she was...
Morgan's Organic
will get your garden
growing great
That's a Morgan Brothers'...
I'm sorry.
James, please, don't
look at me like that.
We can focus on getting out of here.
What do you reckon?
I don't think it's fair on you
for us to be having this
conversation right now.
All right, I can't...
You really want to know?
Well, I'm not proud of
what happened with Wes.
But it happened.
And if you really want to analyze it,
then... maybe, you know,
there are reasons.
Maybe we should be getting
a few things out in the open.
No, I really need you to
listen to me right now, James!
Shut up!
You've always made such a good case,
why things should be your way.
But has it ever occur to you that maybe
I don't want the same things as you?
Short-term goals and your five-year plans.
What the fuck?
I'm over it!
The house inspections
and the winery tours
and the office barbies with
your project manager makes
any stupid, boring girlfriend!
Talking about interest rates and
Clarkie's batting average
and listening to John Butler
because it makes you feel
like you're doing something
for the environment?
Well, I cannot fucking
stand John fucking Butler!
Whip Willy Wiggins
was a wee young man
with a wiggle and waggle
and a yes I can
And he cracked his whip
bull across this land
From Woolloomooloo to Coonabarabran
Gonna be bloody joking.
Here,you know, Burkey.
Alright, I can't really stop
here now, heading now on.
I've ...
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck...
Shit and derision.
G'day, Burkey.
G'day, mate.
What brings you out here?
You know, I just come
from the crash scene.
You know, down Jilljara Road?
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
And I'm looking for the driver.
Buggers gone walk away.
Haven't seen anything
unusual, have you?
No, nothing.
It just went bush.
That is strange.
Yeah, yeah, very strange indeed.
A bit like the poor
old Salvo Six, eh?
But I got a bit more
to go on this time.
I got some tire tracks from
right next to the vehicle.
- Speaking of which...
- Yeah?
Are you going to be at the
fundraiser next week?
How are your pumpkins this year?
Good, good.
Giddy mate.
Should get going.
And right now, I want me down
at that fucking fish...?
Chaos I reckon.
Jungle kids.
Hey, I remember last year
those poofters of Billy Fever
found rootin' in his dam.
Yeah, that's it.. very...
Still, a bit of tourism can't
be all bad for the district.
Oh, by the way...
I heard your ad on Sunshine earlier.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
What do you reckon?
Bloody hilarious.
Anyway, I... suppose I'd better see
what those little bastards are up to, eh?
What was that?
What was what?
Coming from your boot and...
You'd better open up, mate.
Know what it is?
- I hit a roo earlier.
- Oh, yeah?
That's the, uh, twitch
they make after they cark.
Kind like the... the death twitch.
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
Well, that's how it works, right?
Well, we collect the
roadkills for processing,
the shire saves on disposal.
We keep the product Aussie-made.
Good on youse, I say.
Yeah, just doin' our bit, Burkey.
Just doin' our bit.
Death twitch, hmm.
I like that.
Hey, ah, Linds?
Now kill the engine, mate.
Hey, open the trunk!
What, man?
Forget something?
What's going on?
What? No.
Come on, I'm fucking
freaking out in here, man!
Whoa, what do you know?
Open the fucking boot!
- Pull the boot, Linds.
- I can't.
- Pull the boot!
- Open the trunk!
Must.. must have been...
- Pull the fucking boot, Linds!
- Must have been one of them poofters
from the...
from the festival.
Pull the fucking boot!
Yeah, yeah, no worries, mate.
Fuck a rat!
- Get off!
- He want my potassium!
Just relax, relax,
take it easy.
Alright look, I'll
call for help, alright?
Mate, what can I say?
One of those days.
Fuck it!
James, I think I can actually...
Alright, hold on, okay?
Reg, James is in trouble.
Got your Mr Frooty.
You like pine orange?
- Oh, well.
- Drink up, you need it.
Now, I've been doing
some real deep soul seekin'.
- And I reckon.
- Good, that's great.
- James needs help.
- Hang on, I need to say this.
What I reckon is, that
when Lindsay gets back
I'm going to have a really
serious talk to him about all this.
That's the smart thing to do, Reg.
And I'm sorry I called you a...
you know, what I
called you back there.
Yes, lookit, that's okay.
No, no, no, what I said
about you not being a
real lady and everything?
You are a real lady.
The first real lady I ever met.
What about Becs?
No, she's not real.
Well, she is... that's complicated.
Look, I know that you
tried to thingo with me
because you had to.
Now, you don't want to die.
I get it.
I don't want you to die neither.
Ay, he's gonna drown!
Ungag him.
You fucking slut!
Hey, don't you talk to her like that!
I'll talk to this whore
any way I like!
I'll take care of this.
Untie us, Reg
Right in front of me.
Um, I'm going to talk to him.
I'll sort it all out.
No, no, Reg, wait!
Linds, we got to talk.
True what we do.
There's a - there's a
reason for what I've done.
What is that?
You're bakin' a giant fucking pie?
You don't get it, do you?
This is me saying, I've had enough!
No, Reg.
I've had enough.
See, this is what I'm talking about!
You just can't treat me this way!
What I ever do...
is clean up after you.
One fucking mess after another.
Want to see the latest?
It's a real ripper.
Get up fuck arse.
Have a look in the boot
and tell us what we
gonna do about this one.
The next time you want
to do something daft
like chop up me pumpkins,
piss off to your wang van
and have a pull instead.
Both of you, fucking die!
You son of a bitch.
No Linds!
For God's sake, shut up!
Nancy is here.
There he is, Maigret.
Don't worry, we'll be quick.
Lindsay, you still there?
Ow, ow, stop it!
Just.. mate, mate, your hand.
Here, use me hanky.
Now, hold that tight.
Keep the pressure on it.
Alright, okay, thanks.
I'm gonna get us
out of here, alright?
Just relax.
- So, how many times?
- What?
You and Wes, how
many times, have you fuck?
For God's sake, let it go.
Somewhere between five and ten?
James, what difference does it make?
Makes a head of difference!
There's a sliding scale
of infidelity here.
And there's an inverse
scale of forgiveableness.
So if I said it was only once,
that would make you feel better?
It was only once, okay?
You are lying.
Fucking hell, it happened!
What else do you need to know?
I need dates, numbers.
I need to know if
you were sober or drunk.
Who made the first move.
Where it happened.
What you were wearing.
Fingerings, handjobs, blowjobs.
I need to know the full
magnitude of your betrayal!
If I'm gonna... you
know, move forward.
Oh! Linds, you gave me a start.
G'day, Nance.
How are you, love?
Oh... pretty, pretty flat out.
- Lot on your plate?
- Yeah, yeah bits and pieces.
You really should wear
an apron when you're working
with all that yucky stuff.
Next time I come, I'll
make sure I give you one.
Oh, you don't have to do that.
Oh, don't be silly.
Oh, where's Maigret? Maigret, come.
You wait here.
I'll go fetch him.
I'll let myself in, love.
Uh, yeah.
Oh, no, you don't.
No, you fucking dog!
Give it to me,
you little fucking shit!
I'll put the kettle on, shall I?
Yeah, yeah.
I'll be, uh...
I'll be down in a tick.
Hey, mate, there
should be a tire iron
- somewhere near you.
- Yeah?
Just over a little further
down to your side there.
I think...
Yeah, I got it.
Good work.
I'm sorry I shot you, man.
Oh, no, she'll be alright, eh?
I have got a, uh,
big order to fill, Nance.
- So I shouldn't...
- I won't keep you.
I just popped in to pick up
a couple of those lovely pumpkins.
Not the prize winners of course.
Just a couple from the smaller crop.
The girls and I are
setting up a bake stand
for the Salvo Six.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Whatever you need.
Reggie is doing his deliveries?
Gee, uh, Reg, um...
Reg is gonna be
gone a while, I reckon.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, cousin Ruth up in Queensland.
- Bloody cancer.
- Oh, Linds!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, well.
Reg has gone up
there to sort it all out.
Could be gone a while.
Driving up, I see?
No, no, no, he's flying.
Funny, I thought I saw him
about an hour and a half ago
driving down Old Cobb Road.
Uh, on his way to the crown.
- In the truck?
- Yup, I'll pick it up tomorrow.
Well, how will you get the P76 back?
I'll get Burkey!
Or someone to
take me down there.
I could always take you, love.
It's all good, Nancy.
It's all good.
So they can stitch 'em back on, yeah?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bob Clay up on Jacaranda Crest
he chopped his hand off,
digging fence posts
about ten years ago.
Brave little bugger
walked about 20 clicks
before anyone found him.
But you know what?
They located his hand,
they put it in a Esky,
choppered him off to the city.
And before you know it,
he was as good as new.
Yeah, I won't lie to you.
The hand didn't take too well
and he had to give the farming away.
But it turned out to be a bit
of a blessing in disguise.
He got into sign painting
during his rehab,
and now he has got his own business.
Does all the local shops.
Even did our truck.
So, there is hope, eh?
Yeah, we got to find my hand, man.
Right, I promise ya, as
soon as we get out of here,
We'll grab the others,
we'll find your hand,
and we'll get you
straight to hospital.
You think I'll get
to go in the chopper?
I reckon that will happen for sure.
You alright, Linds?
You look absolutely buggered,
pardon my French.
No, no, no, I'm alright.
Your cysts giving you gyp again?
No, no, I have just
been real busy, Nance.
Morgan's Organic
will get your garden
growing great
Jesus, I wish they'd stop
playing this fucking ad!
Lindsay, Darl, the ad's terrific.
Very funny.
Sorry, Nance.
It's been one of those days.
Of course it has.
Now, you just relax.
Oh, you're so tense.
Did you ever see that
nice fella from Guildford
I was telling you about?
You know, about the anger thingy?
No, I didn't.
So, I don't think the shrink's gonna
do me much good now, Nance.
I know what you need.
A nice hot cuppa.
Oh, that's probably, uh, Charlie Wick.
- I promised I'd...
- Now, stay right where you are,
Lindsay Morgan.
Let the machine get it.
No, Maigret.
You can go outside now.
I mean, was he any good?
Yeah, I guess he is no slouch, right?
I mean, shaves his
balls and everything.
I mean, only the
professionals shave their balls.
What kind of operation
you idiots are running.
Jesus, Soph.
...it's about the goddamn money...
Oh, God, I can see it.
this time I'm calling a fucking Yates
I almost wanted to come over
and pick up these bags meself.
Hey, Maigret.
Come on, man.
Mate, what are you doing?
My hand, where is it, man?
Let's get the others first, eh?
What did you do with it?
Well, I don't know, but we
got to move, come on!
Talk to me!
All right, James.
- You want details.
- Yes.
Come on!
- Reg.
- Great.
Move it, mate.
We gonna find it, yes?
Jesus, Wesley, your hand.
Fucking dog.
Hey guys.
What's happening?
Oh, nothing much.
He's about to learn the
full extent of my cuckoldry.
Soph, you were about to share.
Thanks, Reg.
Hey, you're hurt.
- Wes!
- Oh, no, it's nothing.
Maybe you could shed some
light on the situation.
I wish I could talk in color.
Hey, them hock grab is a bit tricky.
You may want to...
Jeeze, you're a natural.
Excuse me, mate, can we get
back to the issue at hand, please?
Hey, Jimbo!
I'm going to fucking kill you!
Get off him!
Alright, just settle.
Fellows, settle!
Settling now.
Fucking settle!
Can't you see?
Right now it's not
about what we did do
or didn't do.
But we do do.
Because sometimes
what you have to do is...
Gee, I don't know
why I keep saying "do".
But, well, what I mean is...
you can't undo what you've done,
but you can do...
Aww! Ahh!
Look I'm not real good
at these big speeches,
but you know what I mean, right?
Hey, yeah, let's gather around
and listen to the psycho!
- Reg ain't a psycho!
- Alright?
Hey, we got to get your mate into ten
or he's gonna end up with
a Bob Clay special.
- Are you alright to drive?
- Yeah.
But what you gonna do?
I'm going to march right in there
and get them keys off Linds.
And if he don't want
to give 'em to me,
I'm just gonna bloody make him.
Hey, what about my hand, man?
Aw, shut up about your bloody
hand for one bloody minute!
Look after your mates, eh?
It's time for me to...
do it.
Fuck is with that guy?
Oh, you are stressed, poor love.
Oh yeah.
If one of us had to go,
it was always going to be Reg.
Oh, I suppose I'll have to help family
now that he's gone.
How long did you say
they'll be up there, Linds?
Oh, hard to say with
the old Jackie dancer.
Reckon it will be a while, though.
Who knows?
He might love it up there.
On the coast.
May never want to come back.
Anyway, it's a
shame to see Reggie go.
Oh, it wouldn't be the
same without him around.
No, no, it won't be the same at all.
I know deep down
you do care about him.
He does look up to you, you know?
You're like a father to him.
Mmm, and you're
the mother he never had.
Anyway... Reckon I'll
enjoy being by myself, huh?
Yes, I'm sure we will.
Oh, Darl!
How about we just run for it?
We get into town.
Then the three of us can sit down
and talk through all this shit
so I can get a little
bit of fucking closure!
I'm waiting for the chopper, man.
They gonna put me back together.
It is a beautiful clean slice.
Oh, my God.
Yo, Jimbo?
There it is!
- Hey, boy.
- Wes.
- Hey, boy.
- Wes, dammit!
Wes, get back here.
Hey, come on.
Let me call him.
Oh, Linds!
Oh, Linds!
Yeah that's it.
Oh yes, don't stop.
Mmm. Oh, yes!
Deep breaths, Linds, deep breaths.
That's better, that's it.
Just like that.
Yes, oh, yes.
Oh! That's it.
Yes, that's my boy.
That's my boy.
Almost there.
Almost there.
Maigret, is that you?
Maigret, no!
Don't worry about the bloody dog!
Oh, Maigret.
- Oh.
- Sorry.
My hand!
Fuck this, we're going.
Sophie, come on!
Come on, then.
Come on!
You shot him.
This could be one of them like
that kids from the festival.
Reg, what are you doing here?
Maybe I should ask
you the same question.
I just popped in for a few pumpkins.
Is that what you call it?
- Put it down, Reg
- Or you what? Kill me?
I thought you'd want to keep
me fresh so you can hot bone me.
No one's going to
be hot bonin' no one.
Reggie, put the cleaver down.
Lindsay, give me the gun.
Auntie Nance, we done
some bad things this arvo.
- Shut it, Reg.
- Don't you tell me to shut up!
From now on, you don't slap me,
choke me or call me names.
Auntie Nance, I want you to get
on the blower Yandoit Police.
You can tell them that
the Morgan Brothers
are turning themselves in.
What the bloody
hell is going on here?
A druggie kid trespass on me
property and I'll fuckin' shot him.
Oh, why don't you tell Aunt Nance
about the Salvo Six then?
Oh, shut it, you fucking idiot!
What do you know
about the Salvo Six?
One of the three terrified
kids up there in the shed?
I've heard just about enough of this.
You're both are acting very strange,
Very strange indeed.
I'm gonna call the station,
I'm gonna get Burkey...
Look what you've done.
Arrgh, fuck!
Oh, you cunt!
Fuck you.
Sophie, I got 'em!
Sophie, I got 'em!
You are not going back there.
That's it, we're through!
Let's go!
Mum will be very
disappointed in you, Reg.
Been some afternoon, huh, Reggie?
I know it hasn't turn out
especially good for anyone,
but, uh, these are the risks you take
when you run a small business.
Why Lindsay?
It's all over.
We can't get away with this.
Think I don't know that?
Think I can't tell that we're rooted?
Now, the thing is...
I am a man of my word.
And when I promise Charlie Wick
a ton of premium great new blend,
I'm going to deliver on that promise.
That's a Morgan Brothers guarantee
All I ever wanted from you
was a bit of recognition.
So if your soil is off the boil
You get nothin' for all your toil
Our blood and bone
will fix you up a treat
Morgan's Organic
will get your
garden growing great
That's a Morgan Brothers guarantee
Yes, it is
A Morgan Brothers
guarantee that is.
Well, well, well.
Little Missy here...
true sharpshooter.
So if you thinks in me time
have no problem in shooting another.
Get away from him.
Oh, Becs has got some
competition, has she, Reggie?
Now, come on, shithead.
Give us the rifle.