A Lot Like Love (2005) Movie Script

Does Mom know
you drive like that?
Whatever. Can you get your stuff?
I'm missing 90210.
You're lucky you have
that gear in your mouth,
'cause they need your teeth
to identify your remains.
- Shut up, you're such a dick!
- Bye, Nicole.
...time apart, that's all.
- Where is this coming from?
You can come, all right?
It's not...
Never mind. You don't want me
to come, I'm not coming.
- Fine, then I want you out.
- Am I a partner or not?
You don't support me and my band.
I support the band.
I love the band.
Just get in the car.
Don't hurry back.
Come on!
You missed a spot right here.
Can I clear these for you, sir?
Any more peanuts?
They have another crate
in the galley.
Oh, dear,
I'll just get you a towel.
Oh, dear, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm fine, thank you.
There's towels in here.
So I don't really need...
- Everything all right, sir?
- Yeah, everything's good.
Your attention, please.
There has been a luggage carousel
change for flight 640.
It will now be on carousel 4.
I'm Oliver.
- I just thought we'd chat...
- Blah, blah, blah.
- See, it's ruined.
- What's ruined?
Our little secret.
Actually, I think the stewardess
was kind of onto us, so...
Well, she'll have to be killed.
- I'm Oliver.
- You keep saying that.
Wow, you don't make it easy
for a guy.
I think I made it
pretty easy for you, Oliver.
So, what's Bon Jovi do?
- Who?
- The boyfriend.
Yeah, I noticed that.
So, what happened there?
What, are we friends now?
I'd say we're a little bit more
than friends.
Bon Jovi get a big record contract
or something?
His name's not Bon Jovi.
He plays guitar.
- Everyone plays guitar.
- You play guitar?
- Strike two.
- Strike two?
What was strike one?
Would you like to sit
next to your girlfriend?
Thank you very much,
I'd love to.
So, what's your deal, Oliver?
You're in New York on business?
Me? Oh, thank you for asking.
No, actually I'm here
visiting my brother.
He's going to be a lawyer.
He's in law school, so...
- Is that what you wanna do, too?
- I don't know.
I just finished school.
Don't people usually
graduate in June?
It's almost a year ago.
You still don't have a job?
What are you, my mom?
I don't know, when you look at me,
do you see your mom?
- What sign are you?
- What sign am I?
Strike three.
It's Emily.
I'd have never guessed Emily.
Don't get mugged.
How was your trip?
You know... it was alright.
Who's that?
Don't be shy. C'mere.
Meet my brother.
I thought you'd like to catch up.
This is my girlfriend.
Hi. I'm Oliver.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too, Oliver.
I'm Carol. I've heard a lot about you.
I'm sorry, I thought you were...
You thought she was deaf, huh?
Thank you very much.
- Where'd it go?
- What?
- My jacket, it was right there.
- What jacket?
I have seen no jacket.
What can I get for 20?
20? Dollars?
You know, kissing a smoker
is like licking an ashtray.
What's screwing one like?
- You stalking me?
- Yes.
Oh, somebody stole my jacket.
You wanna do something?
What, are we friends now?
Here she is.
- I thought you were using the ladies'.
- I was, but...
I just came out to get some air.
- Hi, I'm Brent, Emily's father.
- Hi, Oliver.
- Christine.
- My stepmother.
Ready for some Guggenheim?
You know what?
Would you mind if I skipped the museum?
- Christine took off work.
- I know, I'm sorry, it's just...
Would you mind if I tell them?
No, not at all.
Go ahead.
Oliver is getting
some test results back today,
and he was wondering
if I could go with him.
It's a scary time. It's okay.
It won't take long.
Don't worry about that.
You take as long as you need.
I'm sure
everything will turn out fine.
You'll see.
Good luck.
- I'll see you later?
- Okay.
Stuff like that's not even funny.
You only get a chance
to make a first impression.
What do you care
what my dad thinks?
What if we hit it off,
become a thing or something?
- What was that?
- You and I would never become a thing.
You think pretty highly
of yourself, don't you?
First, why would I get
mixed up with a guy
who will jump
into an airplane bathroom
with the first girl
that comes a-knocking?
That was with you!
You won't get mixed up with me
because I slept with you?
Second, you're not even close
to being my type.
I'm not looking for a girlfriend
anyway, so...
Third, it turns out
you might be gay!
I mean, I want a girlfriend.
First things first, you know?
- What things?
- I don't know.
Make a plan
and get all my ducks in line.
You mean ducks in a row?
- Yes, I mean ducks in a row.
- What ducks are those?
Like the normal kind of ducks.
Like, job, career, house, future.
And then the girl of your dreams
will come and find you?
I'll find her.
We'll find each other.
Don't worry about me and girls, okay?
I do all right.
What's that? Stop!
You're not unattractive.
You do know it's the middle
of the afternoon, right?
Two more?
- I've still got stuff to do today, so...
- So do I.
You know what?
Make them doubles.
They are doubles.
- Twenty-six.
- I got it.
- I know.
- You know.
You know what?
I don't mind paying,
but I hate the fact
that you assume that I'm paying.
At least make a move,
make the reach for it or something.
What if you don't get
your ducks in a row?
I'll get my ducks in a row.
In a line.
What if it takes 20 years?
It's not gonna take 20 years,
It's gonna take 5.
6, maybe. Max.
You don't even have a job,
not even an inkling of a job!
That's not true.
I'm interested in all the stuff
about the Internet.
That's good,
I hear that's gonna be huge.
- It will be.
- I'm sure.
- Are you being sarcastic?
- No!
I think you're gonna be beating away
chicks with a stick.
You really think that
6 years from now,
a guy like me, with a job,
a house, a nice car, and a future,
you think I'm gonna have a problem
finding somebody
to fall in love with me?
I think you're gonna have
a big problem.
What are you doing?
I am writing down
my parents' phone number.
- You live with your parents?
- No...
Yes, but in 6 years I won't.
So, why 6 years?
If you let me finish,
it's my whole point.
6 years from now,
you call this phone number,
my parents will answer.
You ask them how to reach me.
They'll give you the number.
Then you call my house,
and when my beautiful wife
answers the phone,
you'll ask her where to send
the 20 bucks you owe me.
20? I thought you were gonna be
some hotshot business guy!
Fine. 50.
- 50 big ones.
- 50 it is.
Any time before Christmas.
- I'm saving my film.
- For what?
For your trip? This is your trip,
it's happening right now.
Be careful,
I got it for Christmas, so don't...
You're not shooting me!
All the places I've traveled.
- Mom's gonna love that one.
- Look alive.
Act really natural
in your surrounding.
Look sexy.
Let's see Ollie being sexy.
I like it.
There you go, that's good.
Make love to the tree.
Now give it to me,
give me the camera.
Would you give me the camera?
- Are you done?
- You're out of film.
- How did you shoot a whole roll?
- You're very shootable.
Did I not just say
I'm saving the film?
- Did you get the right one?
- Don't know.
- 400 speed?
- I don't know, I just got film.
- Was there change?
- Shut up. Give me that.
I've got to go.
- So...
- Don't.
You'll ruin it.
That was...
That was pretty good.
- Pretty good?
- All right, awesome.
Out of this world.
Is that working for you?
- Yeah.
- Yeah? All right.
- Where are you going?
- I've got to work, I'm sorry.
Oh, my God, are you serious?
I thought I was terrible.
Let me just get a pen, hold on.
Okay, go ahead.
Is that the Valley?
No, am I gonna be late?
Okay, I will, thank you.
Okay, bye.
I got it!
- What? You got the part?
- No, I got a callback, but still!
It's one of those low-budget
independent films, but who cares?
Sweetie, will you just run
my lines with me before I go?
Okay, what do you think?
I don't wanna look too desperate,
even though I am.
What are you doing?
I'm going.
You don't have to go.
You can have 2 whole hours here.
I mean...
I'm going. I'm sorry.
- Martin, please, listen to me.
- Let go, Alexa.
It can't end this way, Martin,
not like this.
You should've thought of that before.
Don't turn your back on me, Martin.
You owe me more than that.
I don't have any more to give, Alexa.
You've taken it all.
- I'm sorry... Look at me, Martin.
- Okay, thank you.
Sorry, I just lost my place.
Emily, it's very, very good.
Just try and keep in mind
how much you love him.
- Martin? - Yeah.
- Okay.
He's the love of her life,
so how would it make her feel,
if he was leaving her?
- Desperately unhappy?
- Exactly.
One more thing.
Keep in mind she's a vampire.
Okay, here we go.
And action.
You're better off.
That's what I think.
Of course she's better off.
Dumps you right before New Year's,
that's awful!
I didn't say anything
while you were seeing him,
but it's always got to be
about him.
I didn't see Peter that way at all.
He could be too nice.
I guess you're right.
But she's still better off.
- She is much better off.
- When it's over, it's over.
- You're coming tomorrow, right?
- She is.
How about a blind date?
I know someone.
- You can't take a blind date
to New Year's. - Why?
It's a blind date.
You don't roll the dice on New Year's.
- You don't go alone either.
- Why not? I'm going alone.
- Well, that's you.
- What does that mean? - Just saying.
The point is, it's New Year's,
and date or no date,
you just don't spend
New Year's alone.
Don't. She quit.
Hi, is David there?
Hi, is Chris there?
Hi, I was looking for Frank.
Yeah, most normal people have plans,
being that it's New Year's and all,
but thanks anyway.
Do you happen to know
if he'll be back later or?
What's your name?
Hello, Martin residence.
Hey, hello?
Hi. Is Oliver there?
Yes, just a second.
- Yeah?
- Telephone!
- Hello? Oliver?
- This is.
This is Emily.
I don't know if you remember me.
- New York Emily?
- Yeah.
- Hello?
- I got it, Ellen.
Okay, God.
I didn't know, sorry.
What a goofball, huh?
You still there?
Yeah, I'm here.
So what's up?
I was just wondering...
I just came across your number
all of a sudden
and I was thinking to myself...
"I wonder what Oliver's doing."
I know that you're
probably busy tonight,
but maybe you want to grab
a coffee this afternoon.
- Sure.
- Really?
- Oliver.
- I'm on the phone, Ellen.
When you getting off?
I'm expecting a call.
- You've got a pager.
- I can't talk on a pager!
- Ellen, get off the phone.
- You are such a dick!
Get off the phone, Ellen!
Mom, tell Ellen to get off the phone.
- Ellen!
- Hello?
Sorry about that.
You still there?
Where are you?
I'll come over.
- Now?
- Yes. Why don't I come over?
- Hello?
- Hello, it's me.
The gate's broken,
so just give it a jiggle and then push.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- I'm Emily.
- I'm Oliver.
You're not Oliver.
That's it? I thought
you'd at least invite him in.
You owe me 10 dollars.
I knew he wasn't you,
you're not that good-looking.
She says you're not that good looking.
- She didn't say that.
- What did he tell you I said?
- I said you were good-looking.
- Told you.
That's what I said. You...
She didn't say that.
She's backpedaling.
- He's a little...
- He's saying you're crazy.
Yeah, I got that.
Did she honk?
- My wife. I'm going. Bye.
- Bye.
Thanks for the ride.
Have fun.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- You look different.
- So do you.
- But, good different.
- You, too. I like your hair.
Thank you.
I'm still signing.
Why? I don't know.
I'm stopping, okay.
Your brother screen
all your dates?
This is a date?
Can I get you anything to drink?
A tea or a soda?
- I'm good, thanks.
- Just gonna grab a beer.
I can't believe you assumed
this was what this was about.
You can't believe I assumed
that what was about the what?
Because I'm not the same girl
you met 3 years ago.
I mean, I'm the same girl,
but it's not the same situation.
I understand.
I don't need to sleep
with someone
after every stupid breakup
just to prove she's still got it. I...
What are you doing?
I am looking
for your crazy pills.
They have to be around here
for moments like these, right?
That's not funny.
What if I really was crazy?
Have you eaten today?
How can you live in LA
and not have a car?
I had a car, then I sold it.
I needed the capital for my business.
That's right.
The plan! The ducks.
It's all coming back to me now.
Only two and a half more years
until you're rich.
Is your wife gonna live
in your parents' basement with you?
- I don't live with my parents.
- Just visiting?
I was just picking some stuff up
'cause I'm moving.
"Diaperrush. Com"?
That's what it says.
We sell diapers on the Internet.
I thought the whole Internet thing
was done already.
- Just need a good business plan.
- Diapers?
- How's Bon Jovi? Does he still rock?
- Who?
Oh, him. He switched bands
and moved to Seattle.
Nice. Hope he knows how to steam milk
and make chocolate shavings.
Big talk coming from
a diaper salesman.
And the latest breakup? What's he do?
Is he a baseball player, a cosmonaut?
- Who said I had a breakup?
- You did.
In your kitchen
during your hypoglycemic rant.
- So? Spill it. Who's the guy?
- I'm not telling you.
Did you dump him?
No. He dumped you.
- I'm not gonna talk about it.
- Okay.
- Then I'm not talking at all.
- You're not talking?
- You aren't getting boo out of me.
- I'm not talking either.
Okay, fine. I'll tell you.
My brother's deaf,
I can go days without talking.
Can we have the check, please?
- I met him in class.
- Yeah? You went back to school?
- Acting class.
- He's an actor!
Wow, actors! That's
one rung up from musicians.
He was a writer.
He is a writer.
Hi. Could I get a coffee?
Just very black.
- After you.
- Sorry, go ahead.
- Frappuccino, please.
- All right.
I believe the question was
who dumped whom?
He left me.
- I got it.
- No, I got it.
No, but I appreciate the reach.
The acting classes
are really paying off, but I got it.
Shut up, I got it.
What are your plans?
- Plans for what?
- Tonight. It is New Year's.
I'm not a really big New Year's guy.
- Bunch of amateurs getting drunk.
- Yeah.
- Cringy people wearing those party hats.
- The hats... Lame.
- I know of a party.
- Really? - Let's go.
You've got more clothes in your trunk
than I've got in my whole closet.
Try this.
Nice. Is this Bon Jovi's?
Should I act like I'm some big
Hollywood-producer type or something?
Just be yourself.
Except maybe don't mention
the whole diaper thing.
Hey, Emily.
I've got to ask you something.
- Do you mind?
- Sorry.
What do you have to ask me?
- What was strike one?
- What?
In New York. Strike two was
that I didn't play guitar.
Strike three was that I was born
under the wrong star sign.
What was strike one?
Strike one was
that I had to make the first move.
I got strike one
before we even met?
You can't get strike one
before you step up to the plate.
You drive.
- I introduced myself.
- What?
In New York. I introduced myself.
That's not a move?
- Who called who today?
- I didn't have your number.
You never asked.
You came!
And with a young man in tow.
This is Michelle
and Michelle's fianc, Michael.
Hi. Oliver.
I sell diapers.
- Well, it's nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
- Hello, ladies.
- Oh, my God! Look at you.
- Get you a drink?
- I'm good, thanks.
I think I'll get one.
You are not getting off
that easy.
He's an old friend.
I wish I had an old friend like that.
He's gorgeous.
Come on, give it up.
Very carefully,
I want you to move backwards
in the direction of the bar.
- Hello?
- Ellen, it's me.
What do you want, Oliver?
I'm at this big Hollywood party
and I just ran into
the white rapper guy you like.
Eminem? No way!
So I'm sitting at the bar, right?
And we're talking.
And out of nowhere, he starts running
his hand up and down my leg.
Happy New Year, Ellen.
You're such a dick, Oliver!
- Thank you.
- Eminem's here?
Who's he talking to? Her?
Some guy.
- Now he's talking to her.
- She just kissed him.
- Kissed who?
- Peter. She's kissing Peter.
Is he kissing her back?
Sorry, I couldn't hear you.
It think you said you sell diapers?!
There you are! Come on.
Put your hands on my ass.
That'll really get him.
Do you want me
to put my hands on your ass?
- You all right?
- Yeah.
I'm gonna go to the ladies' room.
I'll be right back.
Let's go!
Come on in here, you all!
This is New Year's,
and you all know how this goes.
Cheat on me and I kill you!
Here we go,
time for the countdown.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one!
Happy New Year!
- Clearly...
- Shh!
- Clearly, you're not a fan of...
- Shh!
I'm serious. My neighbors are, like,
flip-out kind of people.
- Okay, that's enough.
- Having a problem? Very serious.
- You okay?
- I'm fine.
You've been robbed.
- I'm moving.
- You are?
- Yeah, I told you.
- You did?
It's official, the power's off.
When did you tell me?
My business.
It's in San Francisco.
When are you leaving?
- Ollie...
- Yeah?
Nice, thank you.
Hey, I took this.
Yeah, I know.
You framed it.
- Yeah, I liked it.
- You framed my picture.
It's a good picture.
Just when I'm starting to like you,
you're moving away.
Can I tell you something?
I think that... it's time that...
I think it's time that I stop...
being somebody's...
Hold on one second.
Just one sec.
You okay?
You gonna throw up?
Hey, baby. I'm home.
Sorry I'm late.
I got hung up at the office.
On the phone with some
bean-counters from Huggies.
- Did you remember the wine?
- The what? - The wine.
I forgot. You know what?
I'll get it right now.
Don't bother,
I already picked it up.
Why'd you ask me
if I got it then?
'Cause I knew
you wouldn't remember.
I knew you'd forget it.
Well, that's something of
a self-fulfilling prophecy then, huh?
You know what, Oliver?
You're never here.
And even when you are here,
you're still not here.
I'm here right now.
Have you seen my red shirt?
- I can't do it anymore, Ollie.
- Can't do what?
What are you trying to say?
I don't know, Ollie,
I think we need to take a break.
- Hi. Do you mind if I?
- I'm sorry.
I was gonna get that.
- Well, there's a bunch more.
- Right.
- You wanna trade?
- No, thanks, I'm gonna take this one.
So I see you knew
it was the import.
- Very sneaky. Very sly.
- It's got the acoustic B-side.
And a bonus track.
So you see my dilemma.
I can't let you walk out
of this store with the last copy.
I'm not gonna walk out,
I'm gonna pay for it first.
Wait a minute.
Don't I know you?
Jeez, spare me the pickup line.
No, it wasn't a pickup line.
I do know you.
Michelle Foster's wedding.
- I went to school with her husband.
- Yeah, wait. Ben something.
That's right.
Ben Miller. And you are...
- Here.
- No, I couldn't.
- Come on, take it.
- It's yours.
- Just take it, seriously, I feel bad.
- It's yours.
- You know you want it.
- I do want it. - Take it.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Can't believe you just took it.
Thanks for looking those contracts over.
I'm sorry about Bridget.
I really liked her.
Tell Carol, "Hi"...
...and my nephew.
Will do.
- Airport.
- Yeah.
Dude, this is what I want.
Exactly like this.
- All black like Batman.
- Very cool. - Yep.
- What are you doing?
- Test-driving. Hop in the back.
You should get one too,
like Batman and Robin,
except without the tights.
It's like...
Where you gonna park it?
This thing?
Wherever I want.
We're not in the money yet.
You heard your brother, right?
We wow them in New York, it's a lock.
Come on, hop in.
I'm gonna stick around here
and finish some stuff up.
Would you relax, please?
Take a step back, man.
You're starting to depress me.
Take a weekend off,
do something for yourself, okay?
- Gorgeous.
- Come on, Hailey.
Wait, Hailey!
Hailey, hold on. Sweetie!
Oh, my God, are you guys kidding?
Get a room.
I can't help it, he's so hot.
Hi, Emily.
- Thank God you can't get pregnant
when you're pregnant. - Hi.
- So, you and Ben went on a little date?
- Yeah, we had lunch.
It was nice.
- That's all I'm gonna get out of you,
isn't it? - Yeah.
Then I should probably
get back to work.
- Bye, honey.
- Bye, sexy.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Lunch? What's the matter?
You don't like him?
Why? Just 'cause we didn't jump
right into the sack?
What's jumping in the sack?
It's a game people play
at picnics, honey.
I do weddings, head shots,
baby showers, for the money,
but I met a girl at a party,
a gallery owner,
and she said she might show
my work there, so...
That's really cool.
How'd you do that?
You leave the shutter open.
The hard part's staying still,
otherwise you're just a blur,
like the cars in the background.
I'm gonna go splash
some water on my face.
So make yourself at home.
Wait, he just landed on your doorstep?
Honey, that's perfect.
Don't get excited,
he lives 400 miles away.
Emily, let's not get picky.
And I couldn't look less sexy.
Stop it, you're gorgeous.
- Has he put the moves on you yet?
- He's not the type.
Someone's gonna have sex.
Will you stop it?
I've got to go, wish me luck.
You don't need it. Call me.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
She owned a business, right?
Like, selling antiques.
She used to work
for the mayor's office as an advisor.
- But she said she didn't like it.
- Wow, two careers already.
Yeah. So I thought
she would understand
the kind of work you've got to put in
when you're first starting out, but...
She said that she couldn't be
number 3 or number 4
on someone's list of priorities.
She said she could be number 2,
but not if number 1 was selling diapers.
Hi, it's me calling to see
how things are going.
This is... Hi. Hello?
It's a work-related call.
I'll just be one second.
Yes, can you get the?
Please figure out if the negatives
are gonna be ready by tomorrow.
- What?
- How's it going?
- It's not.
- It'll be fine.
As long as you're not wearing
that orange sweatshirt.
Don't call back here.
Sorry about that, I just...
- Where are you going?
- What's your stance on pancakes?
I'm pro pancakes.
Do you know
what you're gonna have yet?
I just can't...
I can't decide what to get.
Come on, Ollie,
you've got to just let it go.
You're here with me.
There it is.
That's the one.
- Gina, hi! How are you?
- I'm good, how are you?
- Good. It's been such a long time.
- Really long, yeah.
- I've been meaning to call you.
- Me too.
I was hoping we could actually
get together and talk a bit.
- Yeah, that would be great.
- It'd be good.
Do you have a couple of bucks
for the waitress?
Emily. Hi.
- Hey.
- How's everything? How are you?
- I'm good.
- Yeah? You're good? - Yeah.
- Great.
- I was gonna sneak on by
but then I thought, "I saw you,
so you probably saw me and..."
Yeah, it's good
that you both said hi.
I knew that she'd be fine with it.
It's been a long time.
Yeah, I'm glad you...
- Hi. Oliver.
- Peter.
- Oliver.
- Good to see you again.
We should probably go
if we're gonna catch that...
- You're right. Emily, take care.
- Take care, it was good to see you.
- Bye.
- Nice meeting you!
I'm starving.
- Let's get out of here.
- Okay.
All right.
Come on. Let it go.
You're with me.
Shut up.
Get off the road, grandma!
Come on.
Let it go.
Smile, you're with me.
Where are we going?
We're heading north.
I've been killing myself at work.
Nights, weekends.
Even at home, Bridget's home.
I moved in with her.
That was my big mistake right there.
I should have stuck with the plan.
The plan was working.
The irony of it is that Bridget
actually loves plans.
We used to go on these trips.
She would plan everything
down to the very last detail.
Including the gas station
that we were gonna stop at.
I remember this one time,
we were in Ashland, right?
#Baby please don't go. #
We were at this B&B station.
#If you leave me now... #
And it starts raining, right?
I'm not talking about regular rain,
it was like torrential-downpour rain.
#Baby please don't go. #
So Bridget comes up
with this great idea, right?
- #I just want you to stay. #
- Park the car in the car wash.
Because who's gonna wash
their car when it's raining?
#A love like ours is love
that's hard to find. #
#How could we let it slip away? #
Come on.
#We've come too far
to leave it all behind. #
#How could we
end it all this way? #
#... we said today. #
- Do you want something?
- Just pick something.
Did you buy the whole store?
Want some pie?
You want some Cheetos?
Look at the moon.
Let's pull over.
- Did you love him?
- Peter?
No. Maybe a little.
Do you love Bridget?
- I guess so.
- Do you or don't you?
I thought I did.
If it wasn't love,
it was a lot like it.
Now I don't know.
Sounds stupid when I say it out loud.
If you're not willing to sound stupid,
you don't deserve to be in love.
- Take this.
- What?
What was that?
- What?
- That.
I didn't hear anything.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.
Ollie, are you all right?
Okay, I'm freezing...
- Whoa, you just looked.
- No, I didn't.
- You said you weren't gonna look.
- I didn't. Go.
I looked.
- Looking good.
- Shut up.
Very nice.
You're just taking advantage of me,
come on!
Okay, the shutter's gonna stay open
for 40 seconds, keep still, okay?
- Are you ready?
- Ready.
It's cold.
- Hi.
- No moving.
- You're moving.
- I can't help it.
Folks, can I talk to you
out here for a second?
Folks, this is a national park.
Why don't you get back in your clothes,
back in your car
and back on the highway.
Have a nice day.
I've got to go.
Anyway, we've got this big VC meeting
in New York.
Got to put on this big
dog and pony show.
- You know what VC is, right?
- No.
It's venture capital.
It's like a big influx of cash,
to really help us grow our business.
- It sounds exciting.
- I'll grab this.
- I got it.
You you've got my number.
And you've got mine.
Yes, I do.
- I'll let you know how things go
in New York. - Yeah, good.
I've still got some...
feelings to sort through, about...
- Bridget?
- Yeah.
I didn't forget.
It's Bridget.
- I... it's...
- It's okay.
- Is it?
- Yeah.
I met someone.
You met someone?
It's not like we're getting married
or anything, but...
Wait, I'm confused.
This is someone different?
Not the writer guy?
A different guy, a new guy.
A different guy?
I don't... You know, it's...
Thank you.
You'll ruin it.
Get out of here, I'm sick of you!
Pitch and go, keep up the pace.
It's not a big deal. I'm sorry.
It actually is quite a big deal,
but don't go too fast.
You get really jittery
when you go fast.
Don't speed through the whole thing
'cause nobody understands
what you're saying.
- We invested a lot of time...
- Jeety, I need you to shut up!
- This is exactly what I mean.
- You're driving me crazy.
the baby...
The client inputs the child's data
and the baby actually
tracks its growth.
So when it's time
to move up to a bigger size...
There it is.
Bam! Just on your doorstep.
No hassle, no fuss.
Does the baby have a name?
Does the baby have a name? Yes.
What were we saying
for the baby's name?
- Freddy.
- Freddy.
- Doesn't have to be Fred. - Gabe
was another choice we came up with.
Gabe the babe.
My point is that there are
10,000 babies born every hour.
That's 254,000 babies a day.
And somebody's got to figure out
where to put all that shit.
I wanna be that guy.
10,000 babies an hour.
Wouldn't that be 240,000 babies a day?
It was good, Ollie.
You were great.
There was that one little thing,
but it wasn't a big deal.
How about you?
You think it was good?
It's mine.
- Hey, I'm Jeeter. How you doing?
- Hi.
- Hello?
- Ollie?
- Hi.
- Are you still in New York?
Yep. Can you hold on one second?
It's bad reception here.
Found it.
How does it look?
Looks good.
- She was young, huh?
- Yeah.
What kind of flowers
did you get?
That's perfect.
Today's her birthday.
Talk to me.
I don't know what to say.
Doesn't matter.
All right.
There's this kid, okay?
And he's in his backyard
and he's digging a hole.
And the neighbor lady
looks over the fence and says,
"What you doing over there,
little Johnny?"
The kid looks really sad
and he says, "My goldfish died,"
"so I'm having a funeral for it."
And the lady says,
"That's an awfully big hole
for a goldfish."
And little Johnny says,
"That's because
he's inside your stupid cat."
You know, that's terrible.
Thank you.
Final call for flight 701
to Los Angeles.
This flight is now closing.
Excuse me, are you traveling with us
to Los Angeles, sir?
She lives in Los Angeles
and my work is in San Francisco, so...
That's... If this VC money comes in,
we're gonna be swamped anyway, so...
But it's like...
How can I be there for her
if I don't even have
my thing figured out? You know?
I can't.
I was clear with her
right from the top that...
The first day that we met
I told her that I had to have my things,
my work and stuff that...
So you won't be traveling with us
to Los Angeles then?
- Hi.
- Hi.
- I'm Jeeter.
- I'm Natalie.
- Nice to meet you.
- Good to meet you, too.
In about 24 hours
I'm gonna be rich.
- Really?
- Yeah. You from New York?
- No, I'm from LA.
- Okay. Did I mention I was gonna be rich?
- You did, actually.
- Yeah? - You like that?
It's interesting.
Natalie, what would you do
with 6.2 million dollars?
- Should we check it?
- Check it.
Does it work?
There's a dial tone.
Maybe we should call them.
No. They said Friday afternoon.
It's still Friday afternoon.
It's not Friday afternoon
in New York.
- Seriously, we should call them.
- They'll call.
We don't wanna look desperate.
Hello? Diaper...
It's not... Which?
Hello? There.
Hello? Diaperush.
This is Oliver speaking.
Right. Okay, so...
We'll talk to you next week.
Thank you.
- We got it.
- We got it, baby!
We got it!
That is one special lady.
I'm gonna miss her.
No one can say
we didn't try, right?
- Just need the keys.
- Yeah.
Hey, can I hang on to the key chain?
- They're, like, 25 bucks.
- You serious?
Yeah. Just keep it.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
You need a ride?
Just gonna clear some stuff
out of my office.
This was fun.
- Hey, you come to LA, give me a call.
- Yeah, definitely.
Does the artist ever come in here?
Most days.
You just missed her, actually.
Hi. Back again?
Not so far.
Just come back. There you go.
You should get one.
That was the plan.
I'm almost thirty,
and living with Mom and Dad.
this is your life.
Right now.
It doesn't wait for you
to get back on your feet.
#I guess this time
you're really leaving. #
#I heard your suitcase
say goodbye. #
Don't say anything,
'cause I'll lose my nerve.
#As my broken heart
lies bleeding#
#they say
the true love is suicide. #
#You say you cried
a thousand rivers#
#and now you're swimming
for the shore. #
#You left me drowning in my tears#
#and you won't save me anymore. #
#Now I'm praying to God
you'll give me one more chance, girl. #
#I'll be there for you,
these five words I swear to you. #
#When you breathe
I want to be the air for you. #
#I'll be there for you. #
#I'd live and I'd die for you. #
#Steal the sun
from the sky for you. #
#Words can't say
what a love can do. #
#I'll be there for you. #
You suck!
I know you like Bon Jovi, so...
I don't.
I'm flat broke.
I don't have a job.
I don't have a plan.
And I know I'm...
I know I'm probably
6 years too late,
but will you give me strike one back?
You're married.
I'm engaged.
Do you wanna come in?
No. I think I need the air.
I have to get the baby.
I'm sitting for Michelle.
You sound really good.
I guess when I'm an old man,
I'll never have to wonder,
"What if?".
How long have you had
this place, Ben?
Going on 4 years,
but I still have a lot of plans for it.
I'm sure Em would be happy
to help you with those plans.
I'm sure she will.
This is a phase
I am glad you grew out of.
I don't even recognize you.
Oh, that skirt!
Those are great boots,
you still have those?
Not the boots.
What am I looking for here?
The guy?
- No, not the guy.
- Whatever happened to that guy?
The photos.
They're from before we met.
- Before you and who met?
- Me and Oliver.
- What are you talking about?
- He took them before I even saw him,
so he did make the first move.
Kind of.
- You ready?
- I've got to go.
I'm gonna stop by tomorrow
to help you move.
- Where you going?
- Michael needs a new suit.
I can't let him shop alone.
Tell me. Do I look fat?
Seriously. The pinstripes,
they make me look fat?
This is the seventh suit
you've tried on today.
What should I say?
It's a suit.
- I need some give in the shoulders.
- Yeah, they do alterations. Move.
- Yeah.
- Shirts, huh?
That's a nice shirt.
Look at this one.
Those legs,
they go all the way to the floor.
- Here.
- Socks. Yeah.
- About done here?
- Hold on now.
We don't want our pants falling down
in the middle of "I do."
Nobody wants to see that.
Thought you quit smoking.
I did.
What's going on, Em?
What are you doing?
I'm hungry.
I don't care, you have to wait.
- Mom!
- What?
- Have you seen my tie?
- Did you look in your room?
- Yes. I don't know where it is.
- You better find it.
Is that my tie?
- Mom.
- What?
- Graham took my tie.
- Why did he take it?
I don't know.
Why? Give it to me.
Hi, I've tried this number all morning
and I wonder if you can find out
if there's something wrong
with the line, if it's disconnected,
or if I can make
an emergency breakthrough.
- She's sleeping.
- Okay. Thanks anyway.
Have you packed?
I brought the minivan.
- I'm not moving.
- What's going on?
Ben and I broke up.
Are you okay?
Why didn't you call me?
What happened?
I had to do this.
Okay. We are gonna sit down
and we are going to take a deep breath.
It's gonna be fine.
It is so natural to be nervous
before you get married. Remember me?
Don't worry,
Ben is gonna understand.
You just need to talk to him.
Just set a time to meet.
Tell him you need a few days
to think it over.
- I have to call Oliver.
- Oliver?
- Who doesn't have call waiting?
- Sweetie...
I have to tell him
I'm not getting married.
Stop. Give me the phone.
- I saw him.
- You saw who?
he's getting married.
Hi, I have a phone number
and I wonder
if you could give me the address
that goes with it.
What are you gonna say?
That I broke it off with Ben.
Just the truth.
No, I wasn't speaking to you, sorry.
Okay, you ready?
Here it is.
I forgot the number.
Find the number.
- Hold on, I'm looking.
- She's looking.
You look like shit.
Thank you.
Big day!
Are you ready, gentlemen?
Ready? Yeah.
- All right.
- Let's get started.
Honey, are you okay?
Shall I call a doctor?
I'll get somebody to help you.
Go get some help.
Are you okay?
- I got it. I got her.
- I'm sure there's a doctor...
- It's fine.
- Okay.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm so sorry. I have to go.
Are you here with the ice?
How did you find me?
I had your number, I called Information
and got your address.
Wow. Information sure gives out
a lot of information.
- I got this.
- All right.
- Is your head okay?
- Ollie! We're waiting on you, son.
You should go.
I'm gonna go.
It's too late. I'm too...
What's going on?
You're not too late.
I'm not getting married,
my sister is.
You're such a dick!
Let's go. Let's start without him,
you guys. Come on.
You'll ruin it.