Aaahh Belinda (2023) Movie Script

TAKSM THEATER
HARKA AND THE OTHERS
Bravo!
Bravo.
AH BELNDA
THEATER AWARDS 2020
MS. DLARA BAARAN
"The Glverens. Handan,
a housewife with a son, and a daughter."
"By day, she works at the bank,
and by night,
she stuffs bell peppers at home."
"A good wife to her husband,
and a good mother to her kids."
"Every night she takes
a shower with Belinda
to wash away the exhaustion of the day."
- Easy, easy.
- Stop pushing! Let go of that!
- Stop pushing each other.
- Get out of the way!
Get in
the car properly, come on.
Hi.
Good day to you.
Uh, you, too.
Hey, I'm sorry to tell you this,
but do you think your little angels
could play a little less loudly, please?
It's making it hard to focus
while trying to memorize lines.
Thank you.
Certainly, and by the way,
do you think you could
have sex a little less loudly?
Because, you know,
it makes it hard for us to sleep.
Thank you.
Okay...
Dude, I thought this
was a shampoo commercial.
You just take your bathrobe off,
a couple of below-the-ass shots,
a couple of above-the-ass shots,
bite your lip and give
the camera a sexy stare, and you're done.
I mean, who stuffs bell peppers
in a shampoo commercial?
What is that about?
t's a new brand. I told you about this.
Oh love, love, yeah, I know you
told me that this was a new brand,
but you didn't tell me that the owners
were dried nuts manufacturers.
You said Timo was directing,
and Belinda was the brand.
None of these were disclosed
before we signed the contract.
Wonderful, really.
I mean, good for us.
So, this
is our first commercial,
and you're okay with us
giving that message to people?
In the day, you have to work your ass off,
then you have to go home, do some chores,
some ironing, house cleaning,
and stuff some bell peppers,
be a good wife to your husband,
and a good mother to your kids.
You know what, fuck this! And...
Yeah, but listen, honey,
all I'm saying is this is a job...
Did you hear what she said?
Okay, Ayca, it's okay.
Listen, this has gone far enough.
I mean, I don't want
to play the life of a shitty family
who go to picnics on weekends
and make barbecues.
We should just compensate
and get out of this.
Honey, that would be
750,000 liras. How can we pay that?
- Is that the actual amount?
- Yeah, that is the actual amount.
I swear we'd be ruined, totally ruined.
Fine, what time are we shooting tomorrow?
Early in the morning, I suppose.
Okay, but that bell pepper stuff...
Dilara, I have to go, honey,
but I'll call you later, okay? Kisses.
Okay, but did you ask
the director all the necessary questions?
Like, you know, what's the intrinsic
motivation for this Handan character?
Do you know the magnitude
of her character's spectrum?
These are important.
You learn anything new
about yourself from this Handan character?
Did you find out
her spirit animal or something?
Huh?
Hey, don't talk shit at her.
She's a professional, first she
works on the character development.
You need to do that.
- I got you.
- Hang on a second.
Dilara, seriously, aside from everything,
I have a serious question for you.
Can you relate to someone like Handan?
I mean, what are you gonna do?
Have you, like, gone to a pepper stuffing
class or something ridiculous like that?
- Guys, guys, guys,
- What?
I wish that you would be a tad, just a tad
more serious about your careers.
- That's all.
- Whoa...
Ah, okay, never mind that,
forget about being serious,
but maybe you could at least
read your lines before you show up?
What?
"Oh right, what was it? What was my line?"
Oh, love, we're just messing with you.
This is all friendly jealousy, believe me.
I'll see you soon.
Way to go, Serkan.
- You haven't lost time telling everyone.
- Come on, honey, we were just playing.
- You should chill, really.
- All right, Serkan.
The shampoo thing is over.
I don't want to hear about it.
You just keep having fun.
- Hey, come on. Cheers, everyone.
- Yes, cheers!
- Oh, you did this?
- Happy birthday, Dilara.
You did this!
Happy birthday to you, Dilara!
- Happy birthday, Dilara!
- Happy birthday.
May all your wishes come true.
BELNDA
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! OUR MAGICAL CELEBRITY!
Baby, don't you think
this has gone on too long?
I apologized to you over and over again.
The cake wasn't my idea.
It was all Arzu's.
Hey, are you sleeping with Arzu?
Oh, come on!
Look, I won't get mad at you if you are.
But if you're lying to me,
I'll kick your ass, Serkan.
Stop it, Dilara, please, just stop.
She is jealous of everything about me!
Every single thing!
She's jealous about you,
jealous about the parts I play.
Know what she said to Cem the other day?
She said she could play Harika
much better than me. What?
Like, how?
That is the dumbest joke ever.
Do you really think
you could even play the shoe of Harika?
I'm not even talking
about the character, just the shoe!
Hey, listen, don't forget
to get out of character.
I don't want to deal with Handan, too.
BELNDA
YOUR FAMILY'S MAGICAL SHAMPOO
- Welcome, Dilara.
- We have a very makeup dry run.
How about we do a quick fitting?
...but we have another option.
Yeah, all right.
- Great.
- Right this way.
- Timo.
- Ho-hoo. Dila!
Ah, Dila!
Oh, baby, oh, baby,
what have we gotten ourselves into?
I know, right?
We'll wrap this up quickly.
- Don't worry, darling.
- Fine.
Let me introduce you
to the kids, if you will follow me.
- I'll see you later. Get ready.
- Be right with you.
They will be playing
Mehmetcan and Ayegl.
Figures.
Oh, Dilara. We all love you.
Thank you.
Guys, meet your play-mom.
We call you play-mom
to avoid any confusion.
- Hmm.
- Hello.
Hello, play-mom.
Hello.
Huh. Good for you.
Dilara.
Yup. Hi.
Oh, how nice of you to invite me in.
Seriously, we've been
watching the roads for your arrival
with our hearts in our hands.
How are you, are you okay?
Oh.
I'm Necati, your husband.
Well, I mean, by husband
I mean, um, I'm Tuncay,
- I play, I play Necati, your husband.
- Mm.
You know? Can we just take...
- Oh.
- Yeah, we should have a memory of our own.
Come closer. Okay.
Could you, maybe, calm down a little?
- Give me some space.
- Damn.
- Over here, please.
- It's off. Oh shit.
Oh, the make-up. The make-up.
- Here, here, please.
- Should I be standing?
Yeah, yeah.
- Turn to me.
- Uh-huh.
- It's done?
- Go to the men's room and fix that. Go on.
Tuncay is gone, hail Necati.
Um, Miss Dilara,
I'll tag you and post this. Don't worry.
You'll automatically see it,
and you can tag me as well. I mean,
- Talk to you later. Okay. Okay.
- It would be great...
I think we should do that
because it's just not ready.
What do you think?
- Yeah.
- It'd be better if we do that.
Sir, I'm sorry
to barge into your conversation.
The character analysis
says that the family
is originally from Central Anatolia.
I think I should speak with an accent.
What you think, man? Huh?
Buddy, your character
doesn't have any lines.
Okay.
What? Okay?
He hasn't even read the script.
- I'm ready!
- What the fuck?
Hey, is everyone ready?
We should start rolling!
We're all ready.
Yeah. All right, people!
Are we ready for Belinda?
One, two, three, action!
Whoa, whoa, cut, cut!
Dude, what were you smelling?
She hasn't even taken a shower yet.
I'm really sorry, sir. That was my bad.
Cut, cut!
Handan, a little gentler, please.
Stop, stop, stop! Dila, darling.
I need a real moment.
I need you to believe that Handan
adores her husband and children.
A real Turkish woman!
- I literally spaced out, sir.
- Damn it!
My bad. My bad.
Let's take a tea break. Tea break!
Should you be having tea right now?
Three, two, one, you're on!
Cut!
Once more.
Once more. Once more...
Cut. That didn't happen.
Once more.
Guys, if you don't mind, um...
I'd like anyone who's
not in the scene to leave right now. Okay?
Yeah, guys, please.
Please, anyone not in the scene...
- Follow me, please. This way.
- Leave now.
- Please, please.
- Enjoy your shower.
Dila. Darling, are we good?
No, I'm not. Get it?
The water is ice-cold.
I have wrinkles all over,
look at my hands, Timo.
And this thing you call shampoo
is no different than glue.
- Wanna try again tomorrow?
- No, Timo, no.
We need to wrap this up now.
I'm not coming back here for this
shit of an experience and shampoo.
- Let's get this over with.
- Okay.
Let's do it again.
Let's do it again!
And again. And again.
You ready?
I'm ready.
All right. Three, two, one, go!
All right. With Belinda,
you're washing the stress
of the long day off you.
- You feel rejuvenated.
- Mmm...
A refreshing...
Cut. Cut!
What is it now?
Forget Dilara. Dilara is no more.
I need Handan now.
This place, this bathroom,
this shampoo, they're all yours.
Show me the Handan inside of you.
Hey!
- Look at me! Don't pretend to be Handan.
- Mm-hmm.
Handan is you.
Okay? Okay. You can do it.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Rinse your hair.
Yes, this is it.
You're Handan.
You're just Handan now.
That's how you do it.
Give it!
I want it back! Mom!
- I don't care!
- Give it back!
- It's mine!
- Give it back!
I want it now! Give it to me now!
Give it back, it's mine!
No! Give it to me.
Give it back! I want it.
- Mom!
- Give it back!
Give it back!
Give it back!
- Give it back!
- I will not give it back!
I will not!
Monkey! Monkey!
Monkey! Monkey! Monkey!
Timo?
Monkey! Monkey!
- Monkey! Monkey!
- Timo?
Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey!
Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey!
Here you go.
Have a good day.
Give me back my snake!
Give me back my snake!
Get out of my way!
I will not! Give me back my car!
I will not!
You said you would give me...
I will not let you go through with this.
You have my car! Stop lying!
I don't have it,
you're the one who's lying! I'll tell Dad!
I don't care!
I'll tell him why.
Where is everyone?
Handan, honey?
You took a shower this late? Why?
You think this is funny?
Are you making fun of me?
No, I'm just playing backgammon.
I will take our revenge.
Where are my clothes?
Don't you worry, I'll see you again soon.
Handan?
Timo!
You got garbage to take out, ma'am?
Handan!
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Why would you even open the door
with just a bath robe on? Huh?
- Have you gone wild?
- Mom's gone wild...
Guys, all right, shh, shut up.
Shut up, you. Shut up.
Handan, what's wrong, huh?
Um, okay, listen,
this is all good, and funny,
and we had a few laughs,
but I'm really starting
to lose it, Mr. Tuncay. Really.
Who the heck is Tuncay?
- Mr. Necati, listen, I really...
- What? Mister?
Enough! Stop this
stupid shit of a joke, right now!
Where is everybody? Where's the crew, huh?
Where's the lighting guy?
Man, where's the director?
The producers? Where is everyone?
What have you done, you knocked me out
with that stupid shampoo?
God help us.
God help us with what?
- No...
- Where is everyone?
Dad, she's yelling at me.
Honey, everyone will be back.
You just need to calm down.
Okay, just wait, it's okay.
Everything's okay, Handan.
Okay, you just wait here.
Come on, come on, kids.
Come on, son, come, baby.
Go to your room at once.
You should keep quiet, though, okay?
Go. Okay? Go to your room.
Go, go, go, go, go. Quickly, go.
Handan?
Handan, what are you doing?
- What are you doing?
- Have you lost your mind?
- Stop this now, Mr. Tuncay.
- What are you doing?
- For God's sake! Stop this now!
- Let go of me!
How could you
go outside practically naked?
- Handan, calm down!
- Fuck you!
What are you doing, man?
What the hell are you doing?
To hell with your joke,
with this job, and with you!
Where the hell are my clothes?
Huh? Where are my clothes?
Handan, you bathed with your swimsuit on?
Hey, look at me, I'll rip you a new one!
Where are my clothes?
I'll rip you a new one!
I'll start yelling, you creep!
Okay, Handan, honey,
calm down, I'll get them. I swear I will.
Just wait here, Handan,
and... and stay still.
- Move! Move!
- Okay. Okay. Okay.
Handan, don't move.
Honey, don't go outside, okay?
Please don't go out on the balcony.
Here you go. Here you go, honey.
Here, here you go, they're both here.
- They're all here.
- What are these?
You asked for your clothes,
the ones you were wearing.
This is one piece, and this is the other.
I got both of them and came back.
Okay, get out, I'll get changed.
Handan, are you really
embarrassed of me? Huh?
Fuck you, you shit, get out of my way.
Hey, Handan?
Handan?
Handan?
Here you go.
- Handan? Handan, what are you doing?
- Fuck you, and your Handan, damn it!
For God's sake! Where are you going?
Han... Yeah, for God's sake,
give our regards to them, Handan, honey.
Okay? Cool. Be careful.
Call me when you get there.
She's going to my mom's.
She misses my mom.
I can't go there, you know, kids and all.
Well, see you, then.
To Levazim, please.
Handan!
Handan!
Handan! Handan!
I'll come back with the money, man.
Hey, you're gonna
break down the door!
Pay the cabby, please.
- Fucking shampoo!
- What the fuck...
I knew it in my bones
that this was a shit job.
Who uses stuffed peppers
in a shampoo commercial?
Fucking messed up.
Hey, what's this about? Huh?
I swear, I can
sleep for a month, Serkan.
Please, don't wake me up, okay?
Who are you, lady?
Wow, this is really something.
People are barging into the homes
of anyone they see on TV, is that it?
Get up, come on, or I'll call the police.
Uh, wow.
So, you're in on this, too, huh?
I didn't fall for it, Serkan, I didn't.
Come on, this has gone on for too long.
Go ahead, pay the cabby, pay the guy.
Who is shouting here?
I woke up in a panic.
Didn't I give you permission
to do anything you want
as long as you don't lie to me?
- Serkan, who's this woman?
- Who the hell are you?
Who do you think you are?
=Whoa, whoa, whoa.
And you're wearing my nightgown!
We need to make
one more stop, sir. Just drive.
I'll come back with your money. Thank you.
We can arrange that. Yeah.
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
Here you go, ma'am.
Enjoy.
I want you tell me the truth,
I promise I won't get mad. Okay?
Were you all aware
that Serkan was sleeping with Arzu?
Uh...
Ma'am, it's not only us,
the entire press and tabloid community
knows that they're together.
Oh, shit.
Wow.
Wow. Good for you.
Levent, I need 200 lira. The cab
is waiting outside, I need to pay the guy.
Uh...
I think we're
moving a little too fast here.
Let's get acquainted first. I'm Levent.
Levent, which acquaintance
are you talking about, huh?
Dude, it's me, Dilara.
I don't know you, dear.
Hey, guys, that's enough, stop it, please.
This is fucking annoying.
Cem, say something for God's sake!
Lady, we've just finished our rehearsals,
and we're all
going home after a few drinks.
Yes, Cem, but this is our thing.
Well, we don't know you,
we don't know who you are.
- This is our thing.
- We don't know you.
So, let's get you up, now, okay?
- Get your hands off me!
- What the hell?
- Calm down.
- What do you think you're doing?
What kind of trick are you playing?
What's your endgame?
- I have to ask you to leave.
- Want to drive me mad?
Goddamn it! Get your hands off me.
Get the fuck away from me.
Whoa!
- You took a seat without asking.
- So sorry.
- Enough!
- Enough what?
- Get out of my way!
- I'm waiting for my customer.
It's not vacant. Don't you get it?
Habibi. Habibi! Habibi.
It's my cab, back off.
God damn you.
He did, sis, he already did.
Step on it, go.
Lady, if you don't have any money...
Why would I use a cab unless I have money?
We're going home, anyway.
I have money at home.
Hello?
Apartment 8?
That's right.
Apartment 8.
I'm very sorry.
I...
need you to drop me off
where you fist picked me up, please.
373 lira, Handan.
What is wrong with you, Handan?
Where would a married woman go,
or come back from,
in the middle of the night
which costs 373 lira? Huh?
And you left your phone at home.
I was worried sick, really sick.
I swear, I don't care about the money.
Really, I don't.
What is wrong with you, Handan?
For heaven's sake,
are you all right? What's wrong?
Look, you've taken this off, too.
I'm begging you, I don't want
to see you take this off ever again, okay?
This will stay on your finger.
- Ugh! We're stuck in the elevator.
- Hmm?
Why are you smelling me?
Because...
Because I love you, Zeynep.
But you are
the crown prince, are you not?
No, I am Fikret. Just Fikret.
Ah!
Handan. Ouch, Handan!
My eyes are all teary.
For heaven's sake, Handan,
what the heck are you doing?
Are you really all right?
- I do not love you.
- Zeynep? Zeynep.
Would it be okay if I stay here tonight?
- Have you been drinking, woman?
- I'm very tired. Please.
Okay, Handan, okay, honey.
Wow, this is new, Handan.
Let's not do this. Please. Handan. Handan.
Ow!
Handan, you crushed my foot!
You crushed my foot, Handan.
Handan. Handan.
Handan, if you don't open this door,
I swear I'm gonna kick your butt. I'll...
Uh, you need rest, Handan.
You should rest, tonight.
And we can talk about it in the morning.
We can talk about it as husband and wife.
Handan, you been drinking?
No answer, huh?
This is a fucked-up nightmare.
It will all be over
in the morning.
It'll be over.
It'll be over.
It'll be over.
What's this?
When did you have this done?
Wow. And it's not coming out.
What the hell's going on?
How is this possible?
Woman, what is that, huh?
Did you have henna applied on you?
What the fuck are you doing here?
What do you mean what am I doing here?
This is our bedroom, honey.
When did you have that done?
- Last night?
- Go away.
Handan, you know what?
It looks great.
How about a morning workout?
Hm? What do you think?
Stop it. Stay away!
Away where, woman?
Wait, Handan. Five minutes.
Ah, the kids. The kids. Kids!
- The kids will hear.
- No, they will not.
- Kids!
- Three minutes. Keep quiet.
- Necati, stay away.
- Three minutes, I'm done.
- Necati, stop this, right now!
- Handan, just one minute.
Handan, just one minute. Handan!
Mehmetgul! Aysecan!
Baby, put that down.
Finish your egg before it gets cold.
Come on. Come on.
Mehmetcan, here's your egg.
You have to eat bread with your sausage.
Have some bread. Here, take the bread.
Eat that with bread. And you need
to eat bread with your sausage.
I don't want to eat eggs!
I don't want to eat eggs!
Then eat shit!
You'll eat that. Quickly.
Handan, honey. Here you go.
Quickly, quickly, quickly. It's still hot.
Baby, for God's sake,
turn that thing down!
Mehmetcan. Go on, I want to see
you eating that egg, quickly! Come on.
Handan, you should have some of that
or your blood pressure will drop.
Hey, bastard! Eat that, damn it!
Baby, please, I'm begging you
to turn that thing down.
Have some bread. Handan, you, too.
Go, go, go, go.
Quickly, everyone, finish your food.
Handan, tell you what, honey.
Tonight, Feride and my parents
will be with us for dinner, okay?
You need to cook.
For God's sake, cook something.
I had to make breakfast today
but that's not my job.
What about, that
stuffed melon thing you make?
My dad loves it.
And before you leave the house,
wipe off that henna.
I mean, what the hell is that?
Stop it, you jackass,
let your mom eat in peace.
What did I tell you?
Baby, please turn that thing down!
Silence!
Hey, Handan, where are you?
You can't keep being late.
The manager's been asking for you.
I thought we'd have a coffee before work.
Don't dally, get here quick. See you soon.
I'm late for a job?
Do I have a job?
Ah...
Handan worked at a bank.
Which bank?
HANDAN GLVEREN
CUSTOMER REPRESENTATIVE
75 POSTS - 132 FOLLOWERS - 197 FOLLOWED
BANK WORKER / MOTHER TO HER ANGELS
LOVE IS AN OATH YOU CAN'T BREAK!
MEN HAVE HONOR, LADIES HAVE MANNERS!
HAPPY KANDLS!
What?
BAARAN LAW FIRM
BAARAN TOURISM
This can't be real. No, no, no, no.
HARKA AND THE OTHERS
HARKA AND THE OTHERS
STARRING ARZU OLCAYTO
Arzu?
That bitch Arzu.
So am I the only missing one? Oh God.
Handan.
Handan?
Handan!
Handan.
- Handan
- What? What? What?
Handan, Handan, Handan, Handan, huh?
Fuck you and your Handan!
What do you want? What?
Akif wants you in his office.
He is kinda pissed off.
Pissed?
Who the hell is Akif?
Where's his office?
Akif, huh?
Are you Akif?
I bear dire news, Akif.
There's no Handan.
Handan is dead.
Handan is dead, gone, no more.
There is only Dilara.
I am the only Dilara!
Dilara Baaran. Okay?
I'm an actress, you got me?
Take a good look at my face.
Take a good look!
Do I look like a bank employee to you? Hm?
I'm an actress!
I won a Golden Orange Award!
I won an Afife Jale award!
Do you recognize me? Huh?
Who doesn't anyone recognize me?
Why don't you recognize me, dammit?
I am Dilara Baaran!
Who doesn't anyone recognize me?
Oh, God, please help me
or I'm gonna lose it.
I'm gonna lose it, I'll go nuts.
Uh, Dilara.
We all know you.
Are you serious?
Thank you, dear God.
Thank God, it's over.
It's over.
It's over.
Dilara. Dilara.
- Uh-huh?
- Not here.
Not here.
Where?
Look, whoever's behind this prank,
I will sue everyone involved,
mark my words.
This is beyond reason.
Where are we going?
What's that?
- What do you think you're doing?
- What do you think, Handan?
Or would you prefer Dilara?
Oh fuck.
You...
This is fucked up!
This is fucked up!
Oh fucking hell!
I can't get out.
I can't get out!
[breathing heavily
Fuck this!
Pull that up now.
And put that away!
You do it.
I swear, I'll fucking kill you!
Put that away!
Well, I thought we were gonna do another
master-slave thing, so I, you know...
You think I'm happy, Handan?
Just drive.
We're almost there. I found us a boat.
Just drive, goddamn it!
Oh my God.
I was an intern
when I started working here.
I'll give you some lettuce too.
Yes. Good for you.
- Eat that. Yes. Yes.
- Chili flakes.
Hold this, will you? Yes.
Mmm.
Eat that. Yeah.
Put some lemon on that. Put some lemon on.
I'll give you another lahmacun.
- And drink some airan, okay?
- Mom?
Huh?
You'll have to forgive us
for tonight's dinner.
Handan was exhausted
when she came home, that's all.
- Put some lemon on it.
- Mmm.
Why? Couldn't she even make some kisir?
Handan, honey.
Mm, have one. Nice.
And I'll give you some herbs too.
Where did you order these from?
The lahmacun place on the boardwalk?
That place is amazing.
Lahmacun, I don't like those.
Shut up, lahmacun likes you,
you have to eat.
Hey, why don't you
wait for my brother-in-law?
What? He's parking
and be here in a minute.
You should eat, hey!
Here, put something on it.
- Eat this!
- Enjoy, Daddy.
Grandpa burped!
Stop it! Mm.
- He's here, go get it.
- He's here, yeah.
He's here,
Go on, eat that.
Handan, honey, you have to eat.
Eat before it gets cold,
or it won't taste this good.
Go on, Handan.
I want to see you eat, go on.
Good evening, everyone.
The king
of brother-in-laws! Welcome.
I am late, obviously.
Handan couldn't cook
anything, so we ordered lahmacuns.
You are really lucky.
She's exhausted. I really wore her out.
Hey, I'm thirsty,
give me a glass of airan, will you?
You could have
at least stuffed some peppers.
Handan, what's wrong with you?
- Handan?
- It's the heat.
Honey, are you okay?
- No, it's the heat!
- Airan.
It's this heat, I'm telling you.
Are you having trouble breathing?
Be quiet, please. Please be quiet.
Be quiet. Be quiet.
- Oh, hey.
- Wait. Just turn around, come on.
Quiet!
No way. Hey! Handan!
- Her eyes rolled back! Did you see?
- Bet it's the pepper!
- Handan!
- It's the heat!
Mom, her eyes rolled back, I...
Handan.
Handan. Handan, honey, open up.
That's enough.
Stay the fuck away from me,
stay the fuck away.
Go away.
Please. Please. Oh, God, please. Please.
Handan!
Wait. Handan, what's that sound?
It's water! Handan!
It's over.
I mean, doc, I know what
I've been telling you might sound crazy,
but I swear, it's all true.
Out of the blue, I found myself as Handan,
the wife of that imbecile Necati.
Though, I'm not her.
But nobody believes me at all.
I'm Dilara. Dilara Baaran.
Listen, we're only here
because we want to help you,
- Mm.
- Please, carry on with your explanation.
How did you all of a sudden
find yourself as Handan?
Now, doctor,
I am an actress.
This whole thing was
the script for a shampoo commercial.
A commercial for
a good-for-nothing shampoo called Belinda.
So, one minute,
I was shampooing my hair like this,
and the other,
I found myself in Handan's bathroom.
But I am stuck here, now.
I mean, no one from
my old circle recognizes me anymore.
Not even Serkan recognized me.
Serkan?
You know, that guy, the actor,
Serkan Gursoy.
Yeah, he's my boyfriend.
I mean, he was my boyfriend.
Your boyfriend.
So, does your husband, Necati,
know about this?
Doctor, listen to be.
I'm telling you I am an actress.
I challenge you all!
You hear me?
All of you!
I refuse any label you try to put on me!
Bipolar!
Neurotic, anorexic,
borderline personality.
I didn't come to this world
to make you comfortable, my dear doctor.
I came to this world...
to live a life!
To live a life!
You cannot destroy my existence!
You cannot stop me! Do you hear me?
You cannot destroy me!
You hear me?
I'm not done! I'm not done yet.
Mister, I'm not done.
What are you doing?
Mister, will you... Hey, no, no. No!
- Don't stop me. No.
- Calm down, stop.
- I don't want him touching me!
- Relax, it's okay.
You cannot silence my song!
There.
Oh, shit.
Screw you.
Wow, she's in a wheelchair.
You can't destroy who I am.
I am Dilara.
Dilara Baaran.
Handan.
It will be all right, honey.
I'm here for you, okay, baby?
And don't worry about the vase.
Handan, it's okay, we'll get a new one.
- Fuck your vase.
- Okay, Handan, okay, honey.
I just want you to get well.
She's not herself at all.
Tasty. Wow, this is real.
Tastes sensational.
Mmm!
WISDOM AND REASON CAN SOLVE EVERYTHING.
- ATATRK
How is this even possible?
Metaverse.
It's a wormhole.
I don't follow you.
You need to start negotiating, my dear.
Negotiating for what?
Denial.
Anger.
- Uh...
- Negotiation.
Depression. And acceptance.
But you should not accept it.
Come, lady, come.
Come here, come sit with me.
Just what I need, damn it.
Like I need a mentor,
but since you're here,
then wow, why not?
Who are you, lady? Who the hell are you?
Huh? Have you any idea
what I've been through recently?
Me!
Worry not.
Surely, there've been some downfalls,
but they're not lethal.
Remember,
a door closes,
and another one closes, too.
Then another one closes as well.
Keep on playing.
You need to keep on playing.
So, you've completely
forgotten about Dilara, Handan?
Oh, God, doctor,
it's all bygones ago, now.
Then you'd like to go
back to work, and your home.
Yeah, yeah. I'd like to be able
to do that as soon as possible,
though, maybe I'll rest
at home for a while.
The meds were highly effective.
But, obviously, they threw me off balance.
I'm sure you've missed your kids, too.
Oh, wow, doc, that is an understatement.
Oh, how I miss to smell them.
And believe me,
thanks to you people, and my children,
I was able to crawl out
of this bottomless pit.
God bless you all. Really.
I was feeling my Mehmet
and Glaye deep down in here.
Right here.
Mommy, I missed you so much.
Don't ever leave, again, Mommy!
- Okay, son.
- Don't leave, again, Mommy.
- I missed you so much.
- Okay, son. Easy, come on. Sit down.
- Go on, sit down.
- He missed her.
She's her mother after all.
It's only natural.
This type of depressive mood
is very common
among all of the working housewives, Dad.
They call this "white collar syndrome."
But thank God it's all over.
Those dark days are all behind us.
- What?
- You think he understands you?
Mommy!
- Forget about it, Dad.
- My boy.
Ah. All right, it's okay, son.
Hey, that's enough, that's enough.
- Stop it.
- Okay, come on.
Go to bed. Mommy is
gonna sing you "The Sack Man".
"The Sack Man"?
"Sack..." Could you do it, tonight, Mom?
She is too exhausted for that.
What?
Well, she... she...
Can she do anything at all?
Once upon a time,
there was a Sack Man.
He used to pick up the kids
and throw them,
and throw them into his sack.
He used to sack them all the time.
Oh, Sack Man, oh, Sack Man.
Oh, Sack Man, oh, Sack Man.
Oh, Sack Man, oh, Sack Man.
Oh, Sack Man, oh, Sack Man.
Maybe I should
go back to the nuthouse.
Motherfucker.
Handan, honey?
Handan, come here.
Come here, I missed you so much.
Necati, what are you doing here?
Where else would I be, Handan, huh?
My folks are asleep in the living room.
Come on, Handan, please. Come on.
Necati, Necati! They'll hear us.
- Necati, stop it, they'll hear us!
- Shh. Quiet. We'll be quiet. I swear.
- Necati, please!
- Handan, please, honey.
Necati, I'm not feeling well.
We'll be okay. We'll be okay, together.
Necati I have a migraine, please.
I'll massage it away, baby.
I'll massage it away.
Handan? You didn't wash it.
Woman, you're so cute...
- Hey! Hey!
- Mommy.
Baby! My boy!
Baby, what's wrong, why are you still up?
Huh, what's wrong?
I saw Grandma in my dream!
Oh, you're right, my boy. Come here.
We can sleep together tonight,
and your dad can sleep with your monkey.
Hey, fuck off!
Whoa, Necati!
That's rude, that is no
way to talk to a little boy.
Baby, you didn't
hear that, right, sweetie?
Get comfortable, okay, my boy.
Handan, honey, he is a big boy,
but I see you're gonna
let him sleep with us, Handan, huh?
None of your business.
Mmm. Mm-hmm.
You are a good boy.
My little boy.
My Mehmet.
Fucking bastard.
TAKSM THEATER
Serkan, sir!
Hello, how are you?
Oh, no. What do you want now?
Serkan, would you mind if
I take five minutes of your time, please?
Listen, I'll call the police this time.
Serkan, please, I'm really begging you.
Serkan!
Hey, look, if you just spare me
five minutes of your time,
I will tell you everything,
and I promise that you'll never
see me ever again, I promise you.
Five minutes.
Five. I'll be brief. Just five minutes.
I'll have a chai tea latte,
and for Serkan, an espresso lungo,
and one of those wonderful
Belgian cookies of yours, please.
Right.
What is your deal?
Why are you following me, lady?
Serkan.
Serkan, seriously,
don't you remember me at all?
I'm Dilara.
Dilara Baaran.
Doesn't the name ring
even the smallest of bells?
Doesn't it mean anything to you?
Dilara Baaran.
I really have no idea.
Though...
honestly, you looked
familiar to me that night.
If we had a thing while I was high...
Fuck you, Serkan.
Um...
Mr. Serkan, ahem,
um...
I... I'm in the middle
of a difficult and weird thing.
Um, but it won't last too long,
I'm quite sure of that.
Because I really trust my gift.
I trust it so much that I'm positive
that I'll get my old life back,
even if I have to
start from scratch. I know this.
But all I need is
to go back where I started,
back on the stage.
- You an actress?
- Yes!
Yes, yes, I'm an actress.
And I'm just asking
for a small favor of you.
Just an itsy-bitsy, tiny help
is all I need from you, that's all.
I don't even know you.
Why would I help you?
Serkan, I know you.
And you know me.
In fact, I know
you better than anyone else!
I know better than anyone
what makes you happy, what makes you sad,
and what makes you cry even.
I know that you avoided girls in
middle school because you were kinda fat.
Um, ha, in fact, I know you used to
eat your lunch hiding in the boys' room.
I know that while you were young,
you wanted to play the mandolin,
but your dad had smashed it
and sent you to wrestling class instead.
I know that your mother
is an anti-depressant addict.
I really know
everything about you, Serkan.
- You watched Katarsis, right?
- Oh, screw this!
Ugh. Screw this!
I think it's coming back to me.
I'm going home from here, Dilara.
You wanna join me?
What?
What do you mean?
Here I am, desperately asking for help,
but you're inviting me home with you?
You will help me, right?
You will, right, Serkan?
- Huh?
- Yeah, yeah.
You have that look in
your eyes, it's like...
When do I get to meet
the guys at the theater
I'll introduce you,
but the rest is up to you. No more favors.
The girl who's been playing
Harika's sister will be on a TV show.
If you're interested, there's an audition.
It's make it or break it for you.
You know the part?
Mmm.
It was Arzu's character.
Arzu plays Harika.
For now.
INCOMING CALL
HUBBY NECAT
Handan, what the hell is this?
Broccoli soup, and here's the salmon.
Look, I also made
salad. And there is bread.
I'm so close to losing it.
I'm about to lose it too, Necati.
I mean, what the hell?
Do I have to cook for you
every day of my life?
No way in hell.
You need to hire some help.
Hire help? Handan,
you've really gone off at the deep end.
What help are you talking about?
Are you trying to bankrupt me?
"Hire help, Necati."
"Pay for the cab, Necati."
And salmon!
What is going on? I mean, salmon?
Stop yelling at Mommy! Hire help.
Broccoli soup is my favorite!
Don't eat it, but we will!
Really, jackass?
When have you had broccoli soup?
Call me. Call me now, Handan!
They're asking about the money.
If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me.
I'll smack you, right now!
Handan, for God's sake...
Handan!
Go make
some rice or something, please.
Please, go do it for me.
This is ridiculous.
It's no different
than throwing away money.
Shut up, damn it!
Hey, I swear, I'll come there
and dip your head in the broccoli soup,
you hear me?
I'm hungry!
I'm hungry, I'm hungry, I'm hungry!
I'm hungry!
PLAIN FRIED RICE RECIPE
Handan, why is it taking so long?
Don't forget to add some vermicelli.
Oh, shit.
INCOMING CALL
AKF
What do you want? What now?
- What?
- Handan...
Stop calling me, damn it, just forget me.
Forget about Handan. Handan's dead,
gone, no more, forget about her.
Hey, listen to me,
if you ever call me again,
I swear I'll tell Necati everything.
- Understand? You hear me?
- Stop it.
I swear I'll tell Necati everything.
Ah! Ow! Oh, fuck! Fuck! Ow.
Listen to me!
God, please make it stop. Enough of this.
God, please. Please, I'm begging you, God.
God...
Are you thirsty?
Come.
I owe you all an apology.
Believe me,
I'm very ashamed of what I did.
But it was all because I was on meds.
But I'm off of them now, because I'm fine.
This woman harassed you, too?
We had a small, unpleasant encounter.
- And you dare bring her to us?
- Miss Arzu.
Believe me, I'm not
the person you think I am.
I sincerely apologize to all of you.
And I'm truly a big fan of you guys.
Levent, she says she's an actress.
Hmm. Um, where did you say
you performed professionally last?
I... I was in a short movie.
How short a movie?
As short as a short movie can get, yeah.
I mean, um, what's the movie about?
An actress,
um...
who plays in a shampoo commercial
suddenly finds herself
inside the life of the commercial,
and she starts to live in it.
That was the plot.
Sounds fun.
Yeah, fun, real fun.
Actually, we need
to cast a sister, Harika's sister,
but to be quite honest, uh...
I don't think you'd be able pull it off.
Sir, I just want a chance for an audition.
And I'll ask nothing more of you. Please?
Uh...
I think s he should have
a chance for an audition, Levent.
Go ahead, you should audition.
We all need a good laugh.
All right.
Guys, turn the lights off,
so she can seriously get into character.
For years, I've been waking up
hoping that I would hear from you,
did you know that?
Maybe you would end up dead in the gutter
from some kind of overdose.
I really want you to know that...
...that even the thought of this is enough
for me to wake up happy in the morning.
But then I feel ashamed of myself.
I ask myself
how could anyone
wish death upon their sister? Hmm?
But then you go and do something, Harika...
and you make feel okay
with being ashamed of you.
As long as you're dead,
as long as you're six feet under,
I am okay with being ashamed of myself,
that's how you make me feel.
But that doesn't happen, Harika.
Why doesn't it happen? Hmm?
Why doesn't it happen, Harika?
Why are you still alive, huh?
Why are you still living in my world?
Don't you feel ashamed
of everything you've done and are?
I thought your whole purpose in life
was to embarrass me.
Go ahead, embarrass me, then.
Come on, Harika!
Die and embarrass me!
Harika, please do it.
Die,
just die and embarrass me!
Come on, Harika.
Just die and embarrass me!
Embarrass me, Harika!
Please, just, please do this, Harika.
Die and embarrass me!
Please, Harika, please.
Please...
Marvelous.
Hm!
Dilara, the guys in production
will call you with a rehearsal schedule.
Mm-hm.
Obviously, it's a little tentative.
We have to work late sometimes.
Working late?
Yes.
Well, all right, sir.
Welcome aboard, again.
Serkan, I did it!
Serkan. Come on, I'm late for the shoot.
Hey, Arzu!
I'm very excited to play with you all!
Welcome Well... welcome aboard.
Yeah. Okay.
INCOMING CALL
You're not tired, right, Dad?
No, but I'm a little hungry.
Okay, I'll get the barbecue going.
Right away, don't worry.
Go get our usual table
before someone else does!
All right. Come on, son, come.
- I wanted to go to the beach.
- Huh?
Ha-ha.
Grandma, look, a swing!
Woman, what are you doing?
You ruined them all!
I'm peeling tomatoes.
Give me those, for God's sake!
Here, take this.
Start serving. Take this, too.
- She can eat those.
- Throw it away.
Why isn't Akif here?
He's on a business trip, Mom, that's why.
That's how it always starts.
With a business trip.
What's that supposed to mean, Mother?
You couldn't give the man a child,
what do you expect him to do?
He's looking for happiness
in other places.
That's enough, Mother. I've had it!
Shut up! You've embarrassed
all of us in front of that guy.
- It's true.
- Dad, tell them to stop.
Can you make them stop?
What?
Here, Dad, here, never mind her.
It's really delicious, nice and juicy.
Have a taste.
- Mmm.
- Here it comes, catch!
My dear sister-in-law.
Sister-in-law?
Feride.
Sister, why do you
care about them so much?
Please, just ignore them.
Hey, Mommy!
We're not talking to you.
You fuck-face.
Excuse me. Give me those.
- What are you doing?
- Put it on Necati's tab.
- I can't drink.
- You can, and you will. Here.
Go ahead.
Sister-in-law,
I have something to tell you,
but this is strictly between us,
and you can't tell a soul, got it?
Because this is a secret.
I got a role in a play.
Come to the rehearsals with me.
It's better to keep me company
than staying at home crying your eyes out,
because I don't think
your brother will let me go out alone,
so I need you to come.
Okay? You'll be with me.
Then what are we gonna tell him?
Well, we'll tell him
we're going to a cooking class
or something like that.
Don't worry about it. I'll handle him.
Okay.
Handan?
Are you drinking beer, honey?
If only he knew
what other things Handan does.
Asshole.
- Phew, are you tired?
- Mmm.
Almost there.
Almost there.
She fell asleep from
all that running around.
Are you tired, Dad, huh?
Now, Handan will make you some linden tea
with some biscuits,
or fruit on the side,
and you'll be good as new.
Won't you give a hand with these?
Fuck you guys.
Don't yell
or I'll kill you. Don't yell.
Don't yell or I'll kill you. You hear me?
- Okay, okay. Okay.
- Where's the money, Handan?
Where's the money? Tell me, damn it.
Where's the money, woman? Speak!
What are you talking about?
What's the matter?
Look.
Look what happened to me, look.
Tell me where the money is?
Where's the money?
Listen, listen to me,
they electrocuted me
at the hospital, okay?
My memory is spotty.
I don't know what money
you're talking about.
Are you fucking kidding me, lady? Huh?
The company's donation money
in the brown leather bag.
Where the hell is it?
Why would I have
your stupid brown leather bag?
- What do you want?
- Are you trying to drive me nuts?
Where the hell is the money
we've been skimming every month?
Tell me where it is.
Oh, you two idiots
were laundering money, weren't you?
- What the hell are you trying to pull off?
- Shh.
Are you trying to play
the crazy card on me?
Are you trying to play the crazy card?
We were going to run away.
And we even had a place to stay.
Were you gonna run away
with someone else, huh?
Is that why you're not
giving me the money?
Too late, the company
knows it all, baby. They know it all.
Handan, honey?
Handan?
What's wrong?
Oh, my poor baby. Are you tired now?
Oh, come on, Handan.
Come on, Handan,
come on, honey, for God's sake.
The kids need to take showers.
Hey, I'll kill myself.
Come on, come on.
Depression. And acceptance.
But you should not accept it.
Handan?
Are you happy?
Maybe you're living my life, huh?
You know what,
I'll figure everything out.
Worry not.
Surely, there've been some downfalls,
but they are not lethal.
But first, let's play a little bit longer.
Keep on playing.
You need to keep on playing.
Playing...
Playing...
Playing...
PRINCE KEBAB
Don't pretend to be Handan.
Handan is you.
Handan is you.
Handan is you.
Handan is you.
Handan is you.
Handan is you.
He used to pick up the kids
and throw them into his sack.
He used to sack them all.
Oh, Sack Man, oh, Sack Man.
Oh, Sack Man, oh, Sack Man.
Once upon a time, there was a Sack Man.
He used to pick up the kids
and throw them into his sack.
He used to sack them all.
Oh, Sack Man, oh, Sack Man.
Oh, Sack Man.
[woman sobs]
NO SIGNAL
DANGER!
ELECTRICAL HAZARD
"The extension period
you requested is due in 24 hours."
"Our company will
visit you tomorrow for the last time."
"We wish you a healthy future."
Handan,
do you remember the day we met, honey?
No.
It was my aunt's son's wedding.
The place was filled with tables.
I was sitting there thinking
how I hated that cousin of mine.
I turned my head around and there was...
you.
It was like a fire had started in me.
So strange.
I just couldn't help myself, baby.
I was thinking...
"Damn, this is no good,
I have to talk to her."
"I need to find an excuse."
So I got up,
I approached your table, I said,
"I'm sorry to bother you,
but I'm not okay with this."
"Either we make more space
or join our tables,
because it's just not fair,
at least for me."
"I don't like people passing through us."
You gave me a stare,
and then you said,
"Let's pull them further apart."
Oh Handan.
Handan, what was in that drink, honey?
This is something else, Handan.
Oh, Handan.
- Necati.
- Huh?
I had a little accident with your car.
It's okay, Handan.
You can have as many
accidents as you want, Handan.
Handan. Can I have
another look at your tattoo, honey?
No.
Okay, fine. I won't look at it, Handan.
Oh, Handan.
Handan, baby, ooh.
Finally.
Finally, Handan!
It's here.
- It's here, Handan, it's here, baby.
- It's really been there all along.
It's been here all along, Handan.
It's been here all along.
DEAR NECAT, THANK YOU FOR...
My mom will be back, right?
Yes, she will.
Are you Handan Glveren?
Here, mister.
Here, it's over.
I'm severing all ties
with your company. Okay? Here.
Ma'am, you need
to come with us to the station.
Please.
Please, let's go.
Excuse me, um,
can you tell me what this is about?
- We must wait for the lieutenant.
- Uh, listen, I swear I have nothing to do
with any bags,
or companies, or money at all.
I promise, officer. I'm an actress.
And this is the most
important day of my life,
because tonight
I'm gonna be acting on stage.
All right, ma'am. Just wait
until the lieutenant comes in.
INCOMING CALL
FERDE - HUBBY NECAT - MRS. ELMAS
HANDAN! WHERE ARE YOU?
WHAT'S WITH THE LETTER? HANDAN!
WHAT DID YOU DO?
Is that him?
Three cups of tea.
They're ready for you.
Thank you.
Listen, I swear,
with no company, in any way I have...
DESTRUCTION OF PUBLIC PROPERTY
What's this?
You've crashed into a power unit.
Do you have insurance?
I'm not sure.
I suppose I do.
Okay, the guys out there
will take your statement,
then you're free to leave.
What's in that bag over there?
Money?
Goodbye, then.
Yeah...
Hey! Taxi!
That's my cab!
I'm Turkish.
I can't speak Arabic.
Go!
Oh shit. I'm late.
- ...using the actual words.
- Sir. Sir. Sir.
I swear,
there was this terrible traffic jam,
and none of the cabs stopped for me.
You are a bit late, am I right?
I'm very sorry. Really.
Guys, I'm really sorry about this,
but I'll get ready in a jiffy,
I'll get dressed, right now.
Anyway, the makeup is no big deal.
I'll take care of that, now.
You don't need to do that, Dilara.
Or should we call you Handan?
I can explain, really.
I can explain it, please.
Handan, dear. Um...
Could you also explain
your husband, your two kids,
and how you actually are
a bank employee, not an actress?
Did you have me followed?
- Hmm?
- Did you have me followed?
And, uh...
Uh...
And what's the big deal?
After all, I'm good, right, sir?
You watched me, you saw me,
you liked me, and approved me.
Besides, for God's sake,
I don't think you can...
perform without Harika's sister.
Oh, yes, yes, but we went ahead
and already got that covered, you see.
When you didn't show up for
the rehearsal yesterday we called Pelin.
And Pelin, as the darling she is,
agreed to help us, and rushed over here.
Since her TV show is canceled,
we'll be able
to work together without a fuss.
How come?
So, what am I gonna do?
Nothing, Handan.
Nothing.
- You're fired, honey.
- I'm fired?
Guys, you can't fire me.
I'm the reason why
this show goes on stage.
You can't do this.
Hey, do you have you any idea
how much I sacrificed today? Huh?
Do you know what I've
done just to be able to get on this stage?
Do you?
Serkan.
Say something. Please.
Say something, Serkan.
Sir, sir, maybe I can
be one of the dancers at the back.
Huh? I'd do anything to be on stage.
Please, please, sir.
Yeah, yeah, a dancer, that's good idea.
But we're not short of them.
It's over, Handan. Leave.
You're not in the picture anymore,
you're finished.
Just go. Do you get it?
Goodbye! Your job is done here.
Back to work, everybody.
Girls, are you ready?
I'm not in the picture?
TAKSM THEATER
Yes! That's it, cut!
Marvelous!
Marvelous!
Ladies, and gentlemen, it's a wrap!
We're done!
Dilara Baaran,
a big hand for you, dear!
Just absolutely perfect Dilara.
Bravo!
Bravo. Bravo. Turn off the water.
Get the bathrobe. And the stool.
Is it over?
You were amazing.
Come, dear. Come on. Come on.
Over here.
Get her bathrobe.
Hey, are we
gonna take the shuttle?
You were truly marvelous.
I knew it from the start,
you were the only one
who could play Handan.
You'll see, they'll turn
this commercial into a series.
You'll see. Marvelous.
Come on.
Did you take down those notes
for everything I told you yesterday?
Because later I'm gonna need those notes.
And we'll see...
BELNDA
YOUR FAMILY'S MAGICAL SHAMPOO