Ageless Love (2021) Movie Script

1
(record scratches)
(mid-tempo soulful music)
You know me so well
How I can be
How can you tell
No
- Give me my money.
- Come on, get your stuff up off
the--
- Stop cheating.
- [Woman] Come on, we have
company. Get off the floor.
- Stop!
- Come on, David.
Why would you leave
Why don't you stay
All we want is nothin' more
Than what each other have in
store
I can't see myself
Being with anybody else
(paper crinkles)
How can we go on
Go on
(muffled singing)
(paper crinkles)
(pencil scribbles)
'Cause I don't need anyone but
you
(paper crinkles and hits floor)
- Damn it. Who am I kidding?
I'm no writer.
I've been trying to write the
story
of our courtship now for 10
years.
All I know is it's a great
story, a romantic comedy.
And if it were made into a
movie,
I know just what it would look
like.
(light jaunty music)
You gotta pretend it's
1968 and I'm 24 years old.
(phone rings)
- Who's this?
- Hi, Mom?
- Yes?
- Guess what?
- What?
- I met the girl of my dreams.
- What?
- Well, tell you about it?
Sure.
- Oh.
- Well, she's a widow with five
children.
(mom screams)
And she's 14 years older than
me.
(mom screams)
But she's Jewish.
(mom moans)
(phone beeps)
All right, that's not the
way it really happened,
but it might've been better
if I had done it that way.
The movie starts with one of
those calendar flipping images
to let you know we're going back
in time.
It settles in 1948.
(bright upbeat music)
This is one of those movies
where you see two people
in the past and then
their lives come together
on a chance meeting.
The scene opens in a suburban
home where we meet Nina.
She's a senior in high school.
Next to her yearbook picture, it
says,
"Ambition is to get married."
You have to remember that in
1948,
being a capable homemaker was
considered a noble profession.
Nina comes from an upper
middle-income family.
Her dad's an optician.
- [Albert] Let me take a look.
Let me see what I can do for
you.
- [Announcer On Radio]
This tank holds castor oil,
which is fed through pipes of
tiny.
- That should do it. Okay, try
these on.
- [Announcer On Radio] Four
winds.
Propulsion is by hydraulic
pressure.
- How's it feel?
- Ah, it feels much better.
- While you're here, let me just
make sure
that your prescription's up the
date.
Take a look at that chart and
start reading those letters.
- Okay. F P T O Z L P E D.
- Ned. Good job, Ned.
(Albert and Arlene cheer)
Good job.
- Hey!
- Whoa, good job!
You get the ball, you get the
ball. Go ahead, go get it.
Good job, buddy.
(soft dramatic music)
(chimes twinkle)
And her mom, well, her mom's
there to nurture the children.
(heels clack)
(tense jaunty music)
- Well, you know, Arlene
is her father's favorite.
Ned, of course, is my favorite.
But you, you were my first born.
(humorous light downbeat music)
(gentle pleasant music)
- [Yale] In spite of this,
Nina was very comfortable with
herself.
She saw herself as ordinary.
Being the oldest child, she was
sensible,
responsible, and dependable,
and she was honest,
painfully honest, but always
sensitive
to the feelings of others.
She was at ease with her own
mediocrity
while at heart, she was a
romantic.
And while her relationship
with Buddy had run its course
as high school graduation comes
to an end,
Buddy's entering the armed
forces,
(upbeat 40s music)
(bomb whistles and explodes)
and Nina promises to write.
Coulda woulda budgy
and told you you should
Coulda woulda budgy, woulda
I give you a nudge
and a push and a touch
(water runs)
- [Announcer On Radio]
Attention (indistinct)
in the platform committee
off the convention floor.
The committee overwhelmingly
rejects an amendment
strongly supporting the
president's civil rights
program.
But when the committee
chairman, Senator Myers
of Pennsylvania, presents the
platform of the convention.
(muffled speaking)
(light jaunty music)
- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning.
(sighs) You know, I noticed your
store,
New York Bakery.
Figured I'd stop in and see
what kind of merchandise you
sell.
- Well, sir, these breads and
rolls come
from a bakery in New York,
and we're the only store in
town that carry these breads.
There's pumpernickel, challah,
rye bread, and kaiser rolls.
And over here, we have penny
candies,
but they all don't cost a penny.
Some are twofers or
threefers, and even this one,
Sen-Sen, are even four for a
penny.
(bag crinkles)
- Back in 1948, this is
what we called a dime bag
'cause you could fill it with
10 cents worth of penny candy.
- I'll take one of each.
- All right!
(muffled speaking on radio)
(light jaunty music)
(cash register whirs)
(stomach gurgles)
- You know, while I'm here,
I think I might pick up a few
more things.
Do you sell toilet paper?
- Yes we do, sir. What kind
would you like, fine or coarse?
- I'll take one of each. Thank
you.
(stomach gurgles)
I did take one of each, right?
- Yes sir.
- Great.
(stomach gurgles)
- [Yale] Oh, Bubby,
not everybody caught that.
Bubby is the Yiddish word for
grandmother,
and while I'm at it,
Zeyda means grandfather.
(soft poignant music)
She taught me how to play the
piano.
- That's so good! All right,
here we go.
I'm gonna do it at the same
time.
(keys tinkle)
Bravo!
- [Yale] And how to make
change at the cash register.
- $2.60.
(cash register clicks)
All right, 60.
Put the three dollars in.
- And then the change would be
67 cents.
- Oh, Yale, you're a genius!
Ah, that's fabulous. Boy,
do you know your math.
- [Yale] The room
in the back of the store
had been Bubby's home after
she separated from Zeyda.
When business was slow,
we would sit in the back
room and play cards,
or Bubby would tell me stories
and impart her old world wisdom.
One day, I was showing off and
said.
- Hey, Bubby, check out my
muscle.
(upbeat lively 40s music)
- (chuckles) Would you look at
that?
But you know who the
strongest man in the world is?
- Is it Superman?
- No.
The strongest man in the
world is the one who can hold.
- [Yale] And here she
hangs on the word hold.
- The strongest man in the world
is the one who can hold his
temper.
Would you like to play
cards like we did last week?
- Yes.
- When we played cards,
- Okay.
- Bubby let me keep score.
This was her way of helping me
learn math.
I'd win most of the time,
and I don't think she was
letting me win either.
- [Bubby] Ah!
- [Yale] Sometimes
she'd just tell me stories
about what life was like for her
in Russia
when she was a young girl.
- I think you're winning.
- [Yale] The imagery I
remember best
was what winters were like in
Russia.
- When we would walk through the
snow,
you could hear hrunch hrunch,
the way the snow makes
the sound under your feet.
And the trees were covered with
ice.
They sparkled like diamonds, so
bright,
you had to squint your
eyes just to look at them.
Hm.
- [Yale] If you ever
see the movie "Dr. Zhivago,"
you'll know exactly what
Bubby was talking about.
- Okay, you're winning.
Let's call it this your game.
Now wash your hands.
We're gonna have dinner.
- [Yale] On the back
wall was an oval frame
with a picture of Bubby's
father.
Bubby's father's name was Yale.
His eyes followed wherever I
went.
It was just like Bubby's
voice in my conscience
if I even thought of doing
something that was naughty.
- You were named after my
father.
(jaunty music)
He was a great rabbi and a great
man,
and so God will have a
great plan for your life
so that you, too, will become a
great man.
Pretend you're having a
dream. Close your eyes.
And in this dream, you're out in
a lake
in a rowboat with your
wife and your mother,
and it's a beautiful sunny day.
But all of a sudden, the boat
tips over,
and you're all thrown into the
water.
(dramatic music)
Neither your mother
nor your wife can swim,
and you can only save one of
them.
What should you do?
(humorous tense music)
You should wake up! Remember I
said you were having a dream?
And the point is you should
never have
to make such a decision.
(soft upbeat 40s music)
Come sit down.
This is a cute poem I've
been thinking about recently.
Do you wanna hear it?
- Sure.
- "A daughter is a
daughter all of her life,
but a son is a son till
he takes him a wife."
- [Yale] Okay, I recognize
the intention of this poem.
- You think about that.
I'm gonna go get dinner.
- [Yale] I was being
raised with Jewish guilt,
but even at that young age,
I understood a bit more.
You were telling me I
shouldn't be that way,
but apparently, that's normal.
It's three years after getting
married,
and Nina is giving birth
to their second child.
- Buddy, Buddy!
(muffled speaking)
(soft dramatic music)
- Nurse!
- [Nurse] Doctor, doctor!
- [Yale] Nina looks
forward to being a good mother
and a good wife.
- [Doctor] You're gonna have a
baby, Nina.
- Deep breaths.
- What are you gonna name him?
- (whimpers) Raymond.
- [Doctor] Good, you're
gonna name him Raymond.
Nice. Pay attention to my voice.
- [Yale] She'll have a
perfect family,
one boy and one girl.
(screams)
(soft dramatic music)
- [Doctor] Push. That's good.
- [Yale] And we get the idea
there
will be more kids to come.
(screams)
(baby cries)
(Yale sings in foreign language)
- [Yale] My first taste
of entertaining a captive
audience.
I loved it.
- Stanley, can you see
him? He's a man now.
I'm so proud. I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Sorry.
(light jaunty music)
Look at him!
- Shh!
- [Yale] As for my bar
mitzvah party.
- Rabbi, I'm sorry. Is this
offensive?
- No, it's fine. It's fine
- Am I allowed to do this? I
don't even know the rules.
- No, it's okay. In fact,
I was gonna ask you. Are you
available, by chance?
- Available? What do you mean?
- Partying in a hot tub?
- Excuse me, rabbi?
- That was a joke.
- You are something else.
Stop it, rabbi.
- Thank you so much.
- You're a jokester, aren't you?
- [Yale] My bar mitzvah
party was a simple gathering
of friends and family members at
our home.
What I remember most about it
was
that I spiked my cousin
Alan's orange soda.
- I'm sorry. I mean, I don't
wanna be rude or anything.
- It's no problem.
- There he is, there he is.
Oh my goodness, you are
so good. Look at you!
- You did a wonderful job.
- You're a man.
You're so handsome.
- Thank you, Aunt Shirley.
- (indistinct) unbelievable.
Did you eat anything yet?
- No, but I'm really kinda
thirsty.
- Well, Marilyn's making the
food.
- Oh, I hope it's good.
Is she a good cook?
(Shirley grunts)
- And, you know, I'm really
serious about that hot tub.
- [Rabbi] I'm a very
progressive type of rabbi.
- Oh, progressive. I think
you mean aggressive rabbi.
- [Rabbi] Oh, maybe.
- [Yale] A little
while later, he was naked
and getting ready to come
down and show the crowd
that he was a windshield wiper.
- [Alan] Look, everybody!
I'm a windshield wiper!
- Alan!
- I'm a windshield wiper,
everybody!
- He's doing (indistinct).
Get inside!
- Look, everybody!
- Get in!
- I'm a windshield wiper.
- It's embarrassing.
(Alan screams)
(crowd gasps)
Alan, honey, get up!
Oh, he's always had a problem
with his cerebellum, you know.
It's just, go inside.
- [Yale] But on the serious
side,
the months of bar mitzvah
practice
that preceded this big
day and all the thoughts
of becoming a man meant that you
were now responsible for your
own sins.
It's the day after my bar
mitzvah I'm lying in bed.
I just woke up, but I'm still
in that kind of drowsy state,
half awake, half asleep.
Directly across from me is a
clock radio.
All the while I'm lying there,
the numbers 7:59 weren't
changing,
but then the numbers flipped
over.
I suddenly realized, even
though I'm not moving, time is.
It doesn't stop. Time keeps on
going.
- Oh my God, I'm dying!
Every second that clicks off the
clock
is bringing me closer to the day
I'll die.
(soft up-tempo jaunty music)
Everyone on the planet is dying.
No one's doing anything about
it.
I mean, if there were a
plague killing people off,
you'd see it all over the TV
and in newspaper headlines.
But what about old age?
I mean, that doesn't seem
to bother anyone else.
People just seem to accept the
fact
that people get old and
then old people die.
Well, I'm sorry, but
that's just not acceptable.
How can you get on with your
life knowing
that you're just going to die in
the end?
This is really a big deal.
This is literally a
matter of life and death.
So what do I do now?
- [Yale] I found the
solution.
- I got it!
- [Yale] I just had the same
disease
that every person is
blessed with, mortality.
Problem solving technique number
one.
I call this the eliminate
the problem solution.
So what did I discover about the
problem
that everybody dies?
Simply this. You don't have to.
Your state of mind affects
your immune system,
and your body behaves
accordingly,
so the solution is don't believe
in dying.
There, that does it. Well,
now I have a new problem.
What do you do with infinity?
I talked to everyone about
it, my parents, my friends.
I tried to learn how others
dealt with these concerns.
- [Yale] Excuse me, ma'am.
What would you do
if the doctor told you
you had 24 hours to live?
- Well, that's not enough time.
24 hours just isn't enough
time to do anything.
I'm not silly to think
that we'll live forever,
but what does the doctor know
anyway?
That's how I think of it.
- [Yale] And you, ma'am?
What about a week?
- That's still not enough time.
You think a week is enough
time to put things in order
and say goodbye to your loved
ones?
I just don't think about it.
- [Yale] Sir, what about a year?
- I don't know.
I mean, a year is not enough
time for me, at least.
I feel like I'd just be
sitting down there every day,
thinking about the days and
not the time I have left.
So what's the point?
Who wants to know how
much time I have left?
Answer, no one. Have a good one,
kid.
- [Yale] What really
brought it together for me
was what my Bubby said on her
death bed.
This was my father's mother,
not the woman with the grocery
store.
- [Yale] What's going on with
Bubby?
- My mother isn't doing well,
Yale,
and that's why I called you here
today.
I thought you might want one
last chance to talk with her.
- All right, If you need
anything else,
Mrs. Schwartz, just give me a
buzz.
(muffled chatter)
(telephone rings in distance)
- Hi, Bubby, I'm sorry to
hear you're not feeling well,
thought maybe I could cheer you
up.
- It was nice you should come to
visit.
(slow dramatic music)
- [Yale] I wrestled
with life's big questions,
the fear of dying, the fear of
not living,
what life's all about.
- Bubby, I've always wondered.
How did you meet Zeyda?
- We met at a dance.
I was a beautiful young girl
living in New York City.
I had a lot of boyfriends.
And I gave it all up for a
window cleaner from Tamaqua.
(tsks) If I knew how
it would all turn out,
I'd have lived my life
differently.
- [Yale] Wow, what a horrible
way to end your life.
But there's a lesson to
be learned from this.
You can't wait until
you're on your death bed
to deal with your regrets.
You have to examine your life
satisfaction level frequently.
And if you're unsatisfied with
your life,
you've got to do something
about it immediately,
even if all you can do is to lay
out a plan and then begin
executing it.
- [Yale] How would I feel
while lying on my own death bed?
Would I look back on my life and
say,
"I love what I did with my
life"?
What I wanted was something
that gave infinite pleasure.
- (groans) Why?
- Okay, what's wrong?
- I just broke up with Susan.
- [Announcer On Radio]
When men and missions.
- That's all right.
- [Announcer On Radio] You'll
share a life that honors.
- You'll get over it.
That's just puppy love.
- [Announcer] Echoed by all.
- But if that's puppy love,
then what's real love?
And how do I know if I found it?
- [Announcer On Radio]
Suez invasion debacle
was replaced as prime minister
by Harold.
- When you can't live without
her.
- [Yale] And then it hit me.
- [Announcer On Radio]
And shrinking colonial.
- Oh. Thanks.
- [Announcer On Radio] An
upset election ousted prime.
- [Yale] Love, true love.
When you have that, everything
else in life makes sense.
We see that I had a close
rapport with my parents,
especially my mother.
Cheer up, come on up. I have an
idea.
Come on up. This is the
jitterbug.
- She taught me how to dance,
particularly how to jitterbug.
She inspired my taste for big
band music,
and she defined my
understanding of true love.
- Here's called the cuddle.
(upbeat big band music)
That's my boy.
- Can't live without her.
- [Yale] Well, there it was,
another puzzle for this
young mind to sort out.
Can't live without her.
What does that really mean?
Would you drop over dead if she
left you?
No, of course, not,
you wouldn't be able to
get on with your life.
You wouldn't care about
eating or sleeping.
Life would be intolerable. I
pondered this notion for years.
Finally, I summed it up this
way.
Have you ever seen a
movie where the husband
is driving home late at
night, and as he turns
onto the corner on the
street where he lives,
he sees some kind of
connection of up ahead?
There's a crowd of people and
fire trucks and police cars,
and he realizes it's his
house that's on fire.
He jumps out of the car and runs
up
to the front of the crowd and
yells,
"My wife, where is she?"
A cop yells back, "She's in the
house!
They can't get her out!"
The man yells, "I'm going in
after her!"
The cop yells back, "You can't!"
What do I do now?
Problem solving technique number
two
is called follow your goal.
What does he do? He runs
into the house, of course.
- Help!
- There's not
a moment's hesitation.
It doesn't matter if there's
only one chance in a million
that he can save her because
he can't live without her.
- [Woman] Aww. (chuckles)
- [Yale] And now the
movie shifts to real time.
It's the summer of 1967.
- Good morning, Vietnam!
- [Shirley] Yale!
- [Announcer] Two years
ago, a Claymore mine.
- Hey. (laughs)
Look who's back in town. Wake
up!
- [Announcer on Radio] Today,
Americans rarely eat them.
- Come on. I know we had plans.
I'm sorry. Were you gonna drink
that?
Oh. I know we had plans, but
totally forgot about Nina.
Yale, come on. You know what
I'm talking about, Nina.
I told you about her,
remember? Nina, my friend.
- Who?
- She has five kids.
Her husband, he died to that
C word. Do you remember?
Listen, we're gonna go
over there, all right?
I told her I was gonna go
ahead and set up for her party.
You're gonna help me.
You're so good at that.
You're so good at helping
everybody feel better, all
right?
You're gonna get up right now.
Look at me. Look at Aunt
Shirley.
Get yourself dressed, all right?
(muffled speaking)
I'm gonna go out in the car.
I'm gonna wait for you,
so get up, all right?
Ooh, I'm so happy you're home!
(speaks in foreign
language) I'll be out here.
Hurry up. Let's go, babes.
- [Announcer on Radio]
Quick hardening cement.
- I was wondering, remember that
kid
who was at your bar mitzvah?
That kid, what's his name? Alan?
Alan? Remember he was all drunk?
Whatever had happened to him,
huh?
Do you ever talk to him? I
wonder how he turned out.
Probably nuts like his mother.
- [Yale Voiceover] How did
I let myself agree to this?
I've seen Aunt Shirley's
girlfriends.
Let's just say I'm not
interested.
- Oh my God!
- Oh my God, I could just
take bite right out of that.
- And look at the size of his
wallet!
(muffled chatter)
(woman laughs)
- Why are you ignoring me?
What's your problem, huh?
I'm just gonna park right here.
(upbeat 60s music)
(car hums)
(car horn honks)
Nina! Nina, we're here. Come on,
get out.
- [Yale] I'm guessing this Nina
girlfriend
will probably look like
the little old lady
who lived in a shoe with so many
children,
she didn't know what to do.
She'll probably come
wobbling out of the house
with her hair in a bun
and a mole on her cheek.
- [Shirley] Nina, baby
girl, we're here. Come here.
(sultry trumpet music)
- [Yale] Whoa.
- Hey, you didn't have to beep.
I think the whole neighborhood
heard ya.
- [Shirley] Oh, whatever.
- [Yale] This might not
be so bad after all.
- [Nina] Come here. Oh,
I'm so glad you're here!
- [Shirley] What are you,
a supermom or something?
- Oh, stop.
- Oh, look at you. You are
beautiful.
You're beautiful. Oh, here's
Yale.
Wait till you see. Come here,
Yale.
- [Nina] I didn't know
you were bringing anybody.
- Come on, Yale. Come on.
(door opens)
(soft pleasant music)
Look at my handsome nephew.
You're gonna love him.
He's so sweet. He needs
something to do.
- If I knew your nephew was
coming,
I would've, you know, put
some clothes on, maybe.
- Honey, stop.
Come here.
- Hi, I'm Nina.
- Hi.
- [Shirley] My gorgeous nephew,
Yale.
He can help you with anything.
- Okay, well, there's lots to
do,
so, oh, you guys wanna come in?
- [Shirley] Let's go. Come on
up.
Oh, this is so exciting. The
birthday.
- [Nina] I could use
all the help I can get.
- Stop!
- Give me my money!
- [Nina] David, come on.
Get yourself up off the floor.
- Stop!
- Come on. We have company.
Get off the floor.
- Give me my money.
- [Nina] Come on, David.
- Stop cheating.
- Where's that birthday boy?
Ooh, you come see Auntie
Shirley.
Ooh, I love you!
- Kids,
I have some introductions.
Okay, so this is Kate, Mona,
Ray, Adam, and that is David.
Kids, can you say hello to Yale,
please?
Kids! Can you say hello to Yale,
please.
(soft tense music)
(muffled chatter)
I need so much help, please.
You see this place? It's a mess.
- Look. I'm gonna
go outside, get it set up.
Then I'll come here, clean up
You just relax.
- Oh, thank you.
- All right?
- Thank you.
- So listen.
- Where's Stanley?
- [Shirley] Oh, he's in a
mood, you know what I mean?
He's been working so hard.
(muffled chatter)
- [Unison] Hi.
- Hey, hey.
- Wait, whose turn is it?
- Stop, stop!
- Gimme!
- Give me my money!
- Stop cheating!
- [Kid] You're cheating!
- Stop!
- you're cheating.
(muffled chatter)
- When is this a bad thing?
All of a sudden, all these
problems.
(muffled chatter)
(soft poignant music)
But listen, I want you to
stop fretting about this.
I'm here to help, all right?
I'm gonna go set up outside and
smoke
since I'm not allowed to do it
in here.
- [Nina] Yes, please, thank you.
(muffled speaking)
(dog barks in distance)
(jaunty music)
(receiver slams)
(sighs sharply)
- Hi, Aunt Shirley. I was
thinking I'd come over and
visit.
No, that's too obvious.
I was thinking I would
stop by for a visit.
Maybe we could go see your
friend, Nina.
That's way too obvious. (sighs)
Maybe we could stop by
and see your friend, Nina.
I don't need Aunt Shirley. Yeah.
Nina and I were already friends.
Yeah.
- [Yale] At this stage,
Nina was really just a friend.
- [Nina] Is this your
first time playing gin?
- Not quite.
- I enjoyed her company.
- 'Cause I'm smoking you.
(muffled speaking on radio)
(soft pleasant music)
All right, thank you. She is
unbelievable.
- That she is.
- Thank you.
- [Yale] I'd talk
about my philosophy of life
and about the girls I was
dating.
- I needed that. Thank you.
(laughs)
Gin! (laughs) Five to two.
- [Yale] Nina talked about
the kids
and about the men her friends
were fixing her up with.
There was this way Nina
drew out the word three
as she counted
- Three, (chuckles) four, five.
- [Yale] that always got my
attention.
(cards shuffle)
We'd chat over coffee and
home-baked chocolate chip
cookies.
- So I overheard you
and Aunt Shirley talking
about guys she's trying
to set you up with.
- [Woman On Radio] No, but
the pictures that you see.
- Yeah, well, I don't
really go out too often,
but I'll tell you one thing for
sure.
The moment I step out of this
house,
I whip out my wallet and
I show them a picture
of my five children.
I want them to know right
from the beginning I
come with attachments.
- [Yale] Nina was 36 years
old,
and her friends were fixing
her up with 50-year-old men.
We gave each other dating tips.
- All right, well here's my
first tip.
At least wait until the date's
over
to show them the picture.
You know, like when he walks
you to the front door right
before he leans in for a kiss
good night,
that's when you show him the
picture.
- Hmm. You might be onto
something.
Now finish dealing those
cards so I can beat you again.
- [Yale] And we
remained nothing but friends
over the course of an entire
year.
Then one day, I suggested we
take the kids
to fly kites on the beach.
(bright upbeat music)
(kids laugh)
(waves crash)
- Girls, make sure Adam
and David are okay!
Don't get too close to the
water.
- [Yale] I began to
think how much more I had
in common with Nina in contrast
to the girls I'd been dating.
That's when I began to fantasize
about falling in love with her.
After all, age is just a number,
and since this was my fantasy,
I began to goof around
with various inane ideas to
make Nina fall in love with me.
(water runs)
(jaunty music)
(door creaks open and shut)
- Excuse me.
(clears throat) Excuse me.
- Hi. How can I help you?
- I jotted down these catalog
numbers for quite a few books.
None of them seem to be on the
shelves.
- I can take a look.
- Thank you.
- (laughs) These are all in
the subject of witchcraft.
We don't really keep these on
the shelves.
- Thank you.
- But if you tell me
what you'd like them for,
I can bring whichever one you'd
like.
- I'm curious to see
recipes for a love potion.
- A love potion?
Are you planning to concoct a
potion for someone to drink?
- No, no, of course not.
I'm actually doing research
on the ingredients used
in these love potions.
- I see.
You know, inviting such a drink
could cause sickness or even
death.
- That's understandable.
In fact, that's what my report
concerns,
understanding the ingredients
and trying to determine
why these people thought such
potions
could generate feelings of love.
Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
(pages shuffle)
- Where would I find that, eye
of newt?
(woman gasps)
(object crashes)
Thank you.
- [Woman On TV] Oh, I hope so.
- [Yale] The next inane
tactic I considered using
was one I'd seen in a
movie where Walli Coxx,
playing a very shy young
man, goes to a gypsy woman
and learns how to cast
a spell on the object
of his desires by giving her the
look.
- [Man On TV] Something physical
going on.
- [Yale] The look requires
that you gaze into her eyes
and concentrate on a
particular incantation.
- [Woman On TV] I'd say the
perception.
Oh, I hope so.
- [Yale] It's guaranteed
to make any woman surrender to
you.
- [Man On TV] These
athletes are so concerned.
- [Yale] I've gotta save
this for just the right moment.
- [Woman On TV] That is not
true.
- (muffled speaking),
lunch is in the fridge.
- Hello?
- Oh, hi. What are you doing
here?
- Just thought I'd stop by for a
visit.
- Bad luck. I'm about to
meet up with the girls.
- Where are you guys going?
We're going into Philly
to the Russian Tea Room.
We're gonna have our fortunes
read.
- [Yale] This is a great
opportunity.
I used to do fortune telling.
- No kidding. I'm really
into that stuff myself.
Mind if I tag along?
- I don't see why not.
I'm sure the girls won't mind.
- Am I gonna get in trouble?
- Can I see that?
Let me show you how it works.
- Think about the money.
- Show her how it works.
Show her how it works.
- You just, oh, oh! (laughs)
See? Isn't she cute?
- See, look at that.
- [Woman] And then they
keep getting smaller.
- [Nina] Yeah, Buddy was
my high school sweetheart.
- You're so good!
- Security at your age.
You've got five kids. Come on.
- Come on, ladies.
I am looking for somebody who
is gonna be good with my kids,
who's gonna accept me and
them and not look at me
like damaged goods just because
I have a couple children,
- Couple of kids.
- okay?
- Well you are
- I'm not-
- not damaged goods.
- Thank you, thank you.
- You are not.
- There's this other guy I
can think of named Sam Epstein.
Does anybody know him?
- Oh, I know him.
- Are you kidding?
- [Woman] He might be like a
year younger,
but that's really not.
- [Rachel] Not Alan!
- That's fine, I just
don't like much older.
Shirley's always setting me
up with these grandfathers,
and that's not my thing.
- Grandfathers.
- Yeah, I know him from the
temple.
Oh, he contributes,
and there's a room named after
his family.
They're like big contributors,
and I've heard he's really nice
on top of being really rich.
- I've been on my own
since I was a teenager.
I think I can take care
of me and the kids.
I just would like some
companionship.
- Absolutely.
- I don't need someone to
provide for me.
- Yeah, but still.
- Just because I have kids,
I don't need someone
to pay for me and my kids.
- You have five kids!
- That's not my thing.
- Would you stop?
We're gonna get trouble with all
this.
- [Woman] See? Isn't she cute?
Maybe she'll be able to channel
Buddy.
That's what I'm hoping.
(muffled chatter)
- I finished my tea, so can I go
first?
- You can go first because
as far as I'm concerned,
I'd kind of rather see how this
goes
before I decide what
questions I wanna ask, right?
- What do you mean by that?
- You know how personal the
questions
and answers are gonna be
or the explicit details she
may wanna know about us.
- Oh, would you stop it?
I've been here before.
It's not a big deal. It's all
generic.
What? Oh, come on.
- Do you know this-
- What? Is there a camera in the
bedroom?
(Rachel laughs)
(muffled chatter)
- [Woman] Dirty mind!
- Yeah, no, I get it.
I get it.
- Well, maybe I have a guilty,
you know, conscience.
(women laugh and chatter)
- [Fortune Teller] I can
read your fortune either way,
tea leaves or tarot cards.
I happen to prefer tarot cards
because they're more reliable.
(slow tense mysterious music)
(muffled chatter)
- Can we get started?
- Yes, you can begin.
You can ask me a specific
question,
or you can ask for general
reading
of what the future holds in
store for you.
- Ooh!
- I like that.
I'll have one of those.
(women laugh)
- Please begin by telling
me your date of birth,
including the time of day as
best as you may know of it,
and approximately where
geographically
on the planet you were born.
Well, I was born right
here in Philadelphia,
and my birthday is February 7th
at 2:30 in the morning, 1932.
- Stop.
(women laugh and chatter)
- Now, my birthday's December
4th. Could you read me?
- We'll finish her first.
- All right, sorry.
(muffled chatter)
I'm sorry. I'm just excited!
I'm excited!
- [Woman] Wait your turn.
- I see you living a
very long, healthy life.
- See? So don't worry about
me. That's really good.
Health is really that important.
That is. That would be.
(muffled chatter and laughter)
- I see you and your spouse
becoming very successful
in the near future.
(muffled chatter and laughter)
- [Rachel] So lucky! (laughs)
- And you will live a long,
happy, healthy lifetime
with a lot of friends and a
large family.
- A large family? I have
only one daughter. (laughs)
- Just wait and see how
many grandchildren she
will give you.
- [Unison] Ooh!
- Oh, my! (laughs)
(muffled chatter)
Oh, stop it, Diane!
- [Nina] Rachel, you're the
best!
You're better than your
(muffled speaking).
(clears throat)
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
What zodiac sign is most
compatible with mine? I'm an
Aries.
- I believe that would be
Sagittarius.
- And my future love?
What might she look like?
- [Yale] The fortune
teller followed my lead
and described my future love
as looking just like Nina.
- I see her being a very
attractive,
maybe a little more mature than
you,
very independent, strong willed.
- [Yale] She was literally
reading me like an open book.
(muffled chatter)
(muffled speaking on radio)
- [Announcer on Radio]
Balance of payment deficit
has nearly reached $4 million.
The president, during the
final days of September,
called a meeting of the men most
familiar
with the complex problem.
(muffled speaking on radio)
Leading the contingent was the
chairman
of the Federal Insurer Board,
which (muffled speaking),
(rotary clicks)
followed by Secretary
of the Treasury Fowler,
Secretary of State Dean Rusk,
Secretary of Commerce
Trowbridge.
- Hello?
- Hi, Nina?
- Yeah?
- Last minute decision.
The company that I'm working
for, Boeing,
they decided that the computer
project
that I'm working on needs
to be installed hands on
by the guy who it.
That's me.
- Oh, nice.
- [Yale] Yeah, I'm going to
San Francisco,
but I'll be home in a week.
- [Nina] Oh, San Francisco?
- So don't go looking for a
substitute
for our gin rummy game, okay?
- [Nina] Now I can't make any
promises.
- I'll be home in a week.
- A week?
- Yeah.
- Oh, but that's a long time.
All right, well, be safe.
- I will.
- Make sure you call when you
get there.
- All right, bye.
(receiver clicks)
- [Yale] I couldn't wait to
get back
from this trip to see Nina's
reaction.
[Pilot] Roger, 4807,
approaching runway (indistinct).
(plan hums)
(soft dramatic music)
(tires screech)
(door opens)
- [Yale] Hello?
(footsteps shuffle)
- Did you have a nice trip?
- It was great, yeah.
- No, never mind then.
What's the big idea with
this insurance policy?
When I saw what this was, I
thought,
"God forbid, what if
your plane had crashed?"
How would I ever explain
this to your mother,
let alone Aunt Shirley?
- [Announcer on Radio] Final
decision reached on the last.
- [Yale] "Nice," I
thought. "I'm getting to her."
- Then when I thought about
what you did, I cried,
you know, sitting right here
at the dining room table,
and that's when little
David came over to me
with a Kleenex and he said,
then he said, "Don't cry,
Mommy."
And, I mean, I was a mess.
Well, listen, you didn't
win the big money prize,
but as a consolation gift,
I decided to get you something
a little more personal.
(soft poignant music)
(box opens)
(soft gentle music)
(paper crinkles)
I think I have you right where I
want you.
- If you win tonight, I have a
batch
of chocolate chip cookies
in the oven for ya.
- [Announcer on Radio] Share the
spotlight
with the Dave Parks flight.
- If.
- [Announcer on Radio] I
think one of the most typical
where guys and gals.
(upbeat big band music)
- [Yale] Dance with her,
Yale. It's just a jitterbug.
It's not like an intimate slow
dance.
- Do you know how to jitterbug?
- What?
- Come on, dance with me. Come
on, get up.
- No, no, I was winning!
- let's go, come on.
- [Nina] Oh my God.
- [Yale] Now say something
sexy,
but keep it light and funny.
- This move's called the cuddle.
My mother actually taught
me this move when I was 13,
and when you're 13, this is one
sexy move.
What?
- You better sit down now.
Don't press your luck.
(upbeat lively big band music)
And that's when the flirting
began,
completely innocent flirting.
After all, it was all
just in my imagination,
pretending that this woman
could find me romantically
interesting.
But that's what made the
flirting safe for both of us.
- I hope you're bringing
your best game tonight
because I've been working
on a new strategy.
- Good luck with that 'cause
tonight,
you're going up against my
mystic mental telepathy.
Ba da woulda woulda
- Throw me the card that
fits right between here.
Coulda woulda kitten
Find a cat smitten
Stake 'em, wake 'em
Off a him you mitten
if you don't get bitten
Take 'em, shake 'em
Round 'em around up
and down for the town
- (laughs) Gin! You don't
stand a chance, too easy.
Ba da woulda woulda
Bing boom ba ba da woulda
woulda
- [Yale] Now there was more
dancing.
(soft romantic music)
I just can't get enough
Ah ah ah
This is too much
Ah ah ah
I'm over the moon
And I'm so amused
- [Yale] Holding her in my
arms
was an intense step forward.
And while we danced,
I whispered in her ear
and nestled her hair.
Ah ah ah
- Now you have to promise
not to fall in love with me.
Because I am so irresistible,
I feel it's only fair for me to
warn you.
- I'll try to restrain myself.
(laughs)
(soft poignant music)
Happy birthday. (laughs)
(card shuffles)
- "Happy birthday. You're a
chicken?
Nope, I'm an egg. Do you think
everyone should be an egg?
No, but I think everyone should
be laid.
Is everyone laid?
No. Some people are chicken."
(Nina laughs)
Thank you.
(Nina moans and laughs)
Then we danced, but we dance
slow dances.
But finally, one night,
I decided it was the right
time to apply the look,
the tactic that I had
been holding in reserve,
the sure-fire move I learned
from that Walli Coxx movie.
Someone told me not to wait
- [Yale] I gazed into her
eyes.
I silently repeated the magical
phrase.
Then I gave her the look.
True as a
- Oh Yale, I love you so much.
Shines warm on my face
- [Yale] That kiss and
those words would not be denied.
I had to rationalize our new
relationship.
She'd been mesmerized by the
look. So what do I do now?
Problem solving technique
number three, make a joke.
- I warned you not to
fall in love with me.
(soft pleasant music)
(both laugh)
- [Yale] Our new
relationship
became the only thing we talked
about.
She was alive and involved
in life with children
who depended on her for
their very survival.
- Oh, hey girls.
- Hi.
- [Nina] What are you doing down
here?
- The boys are asleep.
- [Nina] Oh, okay. You guys
going to bed?
- [Yale] This was
a turning point for me,
a call to action to live up
to the ideals I believed in.
- [Nina] Good night, sweetie.
Can you say goodnight
to Mr. Schwartz, please?
- Good night, Mr. Schwartz.
- Goodnight.
- [Yale] All my life
was lived on the periphery,
the ramblings of a young man's
fancy.
I needed to examine all
aspects of this decision.
So I have to tell you something.
- All right, what is it?
- Not here. We should
probably go in the other room.
(slow dramatic music)
- [Announcer on Radio] But in
actuality,
they were helping the
president put the final.
- [Yale] We moved to
the sofa and talked late
into the night about
this thing we started.
- [Announcer on Radio]
Close to equilibrium.
The final decision to read upon
the last.
- So something's come up.
Shirley invited me to a
family party in Hazleton.
She wants to set me up with some
guy
named Jerky or Jerry or
something.
I'm not interested, okay?
But how do I say no without
making her suspicious?
- [Yale] What do we do now?
- So you'll go, and
perhaps, independently,
I'll decide to visit my
family at the same time.
But remember, we have to watch
how we behave in front of
others.
- [Yale] This much I knew
for certain.
I wanted us to reach our own
decision
before we shared our
feelings with my family.
(upbeat funky rock music)
- Peace, love, and rock and
roll. That's what we need here.
- We're talking about the new
'68s.
That's where Chevy's really got.
- I don't know what the whole
Vietnam thing is about it.
I don't know how we got involved
in it.
- [Woman In Glasses] I don't,
either.
- [Yale] Our family
home on Tamarack Street
was better known as Herring Row,
just two blocks from the
synagogue.
- It's a tough decision. I'm on
the fence
- Okay.
- about getting rid of it.
- Trust me, Nina. I'm
telling you right now.
(muffled speaking)
There she is.
- Ah!
- There she is!
- My favorite auntie. Oh!
Oh, it's so nice to see you.
This is Nina.
- Hi, I'm Nina. Nice to meet
you.
- Ah, you're beautiful.
- Isn't she gorgeous?
- Aw, thank you, thank you.
- You enjoy yourself,
you beauty queen you.
Okay, he's here, he's here.
I know. (muffled speaking)
- [Nina] Can't wait to meet him.
- There he is.
(up-tempo percussive music)
Hey!
- [Nina] You have got to be
kidding me.
- [Shirley] He's delicious.
Jerry, come here.
- Do not call him over here,
please.
- You, get over here.
- Please.
- [Shirley] Oh my gosh. Look at
him.
- [Nina] You always do this to
me.
- What? You're always
complaining about everybody.
Look at this young buck.
I found him the other night, you
know,
when I went out and I
didn't tell you about it.
- [Nina] He looks like a
stripper.
- [Shirley] Oh my God, stop it.
You're constantly complaining,
"Oh, everyone's old."
Good Lord.
He is like Tarzan wrapped
up in a box of loveliness.
Oh, he is delicious. I never
wanna hear from you again.
- I'm Jerry.
- Hi. I'm Nina.
If I told you you had a
beautiful body,
would you hold it against me?
- Stop. He can touch whatever he
wants.
- [Nina] Oh my God.
- Something else, you know.
- [Jerry] Nailed it.
- Oh, yes, it is a beautiful
day, Mom.
- It's always nice to have
our beautiful daughter
with us, always nice.
- Good to see you.
Look at all the people here.
(gasps) It's Yale!
- Hey, Yale!
- That's Yale.
What do you think?
I wasn't expecting him.
- Yale! What are you doing here?
- [Esther] (muffled speaking)
here today.
- My, that's a surprise.
- What's the occasion, dear?
- Interesting.
- What's the occasion, dear?
- I missed everybody.
I just wanted to stop by and say
hi.
- Oh!
(muffled chatter)
- Oh, I wouldn't have missed it,
Mother.
- [Bertha] Sid, take a look.
- [Sid] Oh, by the way.
(muffled chatter)
Something I wanna talk to
you about a little bit later.
(up-tempo lively music)
(women laugh)
- Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Shirley, I am gonna kill you.
Stop it, stop it. Oh my God.
- [Yale] I tried to get
here as soon as I could.
Traffic was a mess.
- Thank God you're here.
- I couldn't believe his opening
line.
"If I told you you had a nice
body,
would you hold that against me?"
- Ugh.
- Ew!
- Gag me. Who even says that to
a woman?
Is that a real line?
- No one.
- Ugh, and the dance moves.
Come on, the dancing.
Jerky's the perfect name for
him.
(soft poignant music)
So you don't think we gave
anything away
by the way we were acting, do
you?
- No, not a chance.
I think we were very discreet.
- Good.
(soft tense espionage music)
There's Yale and Nina again.
- I guess.
(upbeat guitar music)
- [Yale] One of the
neighbors
was Minnie Chaskin.
- Anybody know where the
cocktails are?
Cocktail table!
- [Yale] Some time
ago, Minnie became a widow,
got diabetes, and, due to the
illness,
was eventually pronounced
legally blind.
Although she could only see
shadows,
she'd often surprise her
friends with comments
about the outfits they were
wearing.
- You're gonna give us away.
- Who's that?
- Hi, Minnie. It's me, Yale.
I'm with Nina. We're just
talking.
(cane thuds)
- [Nina] Excuse me. Excuse me.
Hi.
- Uh huh.
- She was hiding behind the
bush.
(both laugh)
I told you.
- I didn't know she was
gonna come out of nowhere like
that.
- [Yale] And her memory
for details was astounding.
- That's why you shouldn't
have been feeling me up
at a family party.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- [Yale] Minnie a
clever way of finding things
by asking questions with
assumptions built in.
She probably asked Dad
something like this.
- So how long have Nina and
Yale been seeing each other?
(dad spits and coughs)
- [Yale] At the time, Dad
had no idea we were dating.
- [Sid] Who told you that?
- [Yale] He didn't say
anything to Mom right away
because he didn't want to alarm
her.
(rake scrapes ground)
(light jaunty music)
And three months later,
we had our first talk.
- Yale.
- Yeah?
(loppers thud)
- The reason I asked you to help
me today
is because there's a question
I've been meaning to ask you.
- [Yale] Yeah. What is it?
- Are you having relations with
Nina?
- [Yale Voiceover] Wow. I
thought a bit before answering.
(upbeat rock music)
(bodies thud into wall)
(couples kisses)
(Nina moans and pants)
(Nina pants)
(Nina sighs)
(panting echoes)
- [Yale Voiceover] How was
that any of your business?
- Well, are you?
- [Yale Voiceover] I could
lie. I could tell the truth.
Yeah, Dad, I am.
(soft poignant music)
I love her, and I'm seriously
thinking about marrying her.
- [Sid] How am I supposed to
explain this to your mother?
- [Yale Voiceover] He said that
as if that
should be some reason for
me to stop seeing Nina.
Dad, that's your problem. I
have a list of my own concerns.
- [Yale Voiceover] The
conversation went all
over the place from there,
but it concluded this way.
But I promise I'll stop
seeing her just to slow down.
- [Yale Voiceover] Now
that our relationship
is out in the open, it's hard to
focus
on our specific concerns because
of the static my family
introduces.
Did I say static? No, that's too
kind.
What they introduce our
unsolicited opinions,
insane rage, and every nasty
trick they can dream up.
Now I don't mean to vilify my
parents.
They're doing the best
they can to prevent me
from making what seems to
them like a terrible mistake.
Unfortunately, they still think
of me as the 10-year-old kid
who wanted the cheap red scooter
today
instead of waiting for
a better one tomorrow.
They fail to recognize that at
age 24,
I've matured beyond my years,
dare I say even beyond their
years.
They simply aren't the kind of
parents
who can hold an objective
conversation,
nor could they relate to
my philosophy of life.
Oh, how well I remember
their attempts at logic.
(dog barks in distance)
(birds chirp)
- Yale, what makes you think you
have
what it takes to raise five
children?
Your mother and I had a hard
enough time raising just two.
- You just make sure you
go see a psychiatrist
before you ever marry her
because you're out of your mind!
(chimes tinkle)
- [Yale] I told me I
was taking the time out
to think things over.
Then my best friend,
Jerry, and I drove west.
It was a desperate attempt
to see if Nina and I
could learn to live without each
other.
(soft whimsical music)
(car hums)
- [Announcer on Radio] Here
in Tiger Stadium Detroit,
a truly dramatic ball game.
- What are you doing?
- [Yale Voiceover] I
decided I had to come back.
I gotta go home and see Nina.
- You what?
- I figured it out. I gotta
tell her that I'm okay.
I figured it out. I know what I
wanna do.
- Yale, are you out of your
mind?
Let's go, we're almost
there. Let's keep going.
- I need to tell her that
everything's okay, I'm okay.
- Yale, listen to me. Listen to
me.
We got Cubs tickets.
We've got the party line.
There are gonna be tons of
chicks in Chicago. Are you
crazy?
(jaunty music)
(muffled speaking on radio)
You gotta get this girl out of
your mind.
God, Nina, Nina, Nina. That's
all I ever hear anymore.
Come on. We're almost there.
Cubs. Chicks.
Party, bro.
Cubs, chicks, parties.
You give that all up to
go flying back to Nina.
- Jerry, I'm sorry, I-
- God.
- We drove back nonstop.
- You're crazy, you know that?
- You're crazy!
- Maybe.
- [Albert] How far we've gone.
Apollo 8.
I wonder how they do that in
space with all that stuff.
- So how did Kate work
out with the bake sale?
The rocket hurls three
astronauts toward the moon.
- You are my firstborn.
- Thank you, Mom.
- [Yale] I couldn't wait to
see her.
When I came into the house,
I was so intent on
sweeping her into my arms
that I was completely unprepared
to find her parents were there.
- Hello? Nina?
- The president
sends crew (indistinct).
- [Yale] Are you here?
(thunder booms)
- [Albert] Oh, President
Johnson.
(upbeat pleasant ragtime music)
- Hi, Yale. We heard that
you were on vacation.
Did you just get back?
- [Yale] My blood-starved
brain
couldn't adapt quickly enough
to answer their questions,
so I said.
- Yeah.
- Is it still raining outside?
- Yeah, no, I don't know.
- You don't know, but you
just came in from outside.
- [Yale] Why didn't I know
if it was raining outside?
So I said.
- I didn't have my glasses on.
- What?
- [Yale] I had no idea how
to explain
because all I could think of
was,
"I'm starving for the
affection of your daughter,
and I want nothing but
the hug her and kiss her
and never leave her side again,
so please get out of the way."
- Maybe I should check your
eyesight.
(jaunty music)
(laughs) You know, you know,
Yale,
I've been meaning to ask you,
don't you do something with
computers?
- Helicopter programming for
Boeing.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to
interrupt.
Weren't you just leaving?
(thunder cracks)
- Oh, yeah. We were leaving,
right, honey?
- Okay, goodbye.
- Bye, Mom.
- Take care of this, will you?
- I will. Thanks.
(rain patters outside)
- I'll check to see if
it's raining outside.
(hand pats shoulder)
(door opens and shuts)
(both laugh)
(soft dramatic music)
- [Yale] Oh my God.
I missed you so much.
- What are you doing here?
- I couldn't stay away from you.
I just, I needed to be
here. I'm a little wet.
- I see that, but you almost
blew it with my parents.
- I'm sorry, I-
- You don't know if it's
raining.
You're soaking wet. Oh my God.
- [Yale] My folks didn't
know I'd
started seeing Nina again.
- I thought you were gonna take
a little break.
- [Yale] So dad's
feeling pretty chummy
and wants to share this story
with me.
(muffled chatter)
(light jaunty music)
(car hums)
- [Announcer on Radio]
The moderate conservatives
that parked the last public
convention.
Albany is putting his plans on
the spot.
(car shuts off)
- Yale, wait, wait.
You remember I was so
concerned about how I
was gonna break this
information to your brother?
I just want you to know how I
told her.
Suppose I was to tell you that
Yale
was gonna marry a two-headed
monster from outer space
or a young shiksa from college
or a Jewish widow with five
children.
Which would you choose?
With blinking, she looked at me
and said,
"The two-headed monster."
- [Yale Voiceover] Right,
and that's in spite
of my dad's child-rearing
approach
that was officially known
as because I said so.
- [Man on TV] We've got it.
Apollo 8 now in lunar orbit.
There's a cheer in this room.
This is Apollo Control
Houston switching now
to the voice of Jim Lovell.
- [Yale Voiceover] While
they had good intentions,
their manner of intervening
was way over the top.
As a result, our relationship
bounced back
and forth between
wonderful romantic moments
and heart-wrenching breakups.
I don't remember the exact
order of events in the on again,
off again rollercoaster
ride that followed,
but here are some of the
highlights
that took place over the
following months.
(alcohol pours)
(poignant instrumental music)
(muffled chatter)
- [Yale] This was both an on
again
and off again place for
us, the Old Forge Inn.
- All right guys, and I'll
be right back with your food.
- Thank you.
(muffled chatter and laughter)
- [Waitress] Hello. Would
you care for a drink?
(flashback whooshes)
- [Yale] This was our
Casablanca.
(soft piano music)
(flashback whooshes)
(piano lounge music)
(muffled chatter)
- [Man] Oh, look. Look who's
here.
- [Woman] They said the steaks
are in?
- Yeah, I think so, yeah.
- Yeah, we ordered 'em.
- Yeah, of course.
- So.
- I'll just go put your
order in. I'll be right back.
- Okay, thank you. Yeah.
- Yeah, of course. Thank you.
So it's gonna be-
- I know I'm a little nervous.
(laughs)
(glasses clink)
- Hey, are we flying solo
tonight?
- Slow tonight?
- Well, I just got in, but it
should probably pick up soon.
- Count seems busy.
(man smooches cheek)
(grunts)
- Are we jealous? (laughs)
- [Man] Oh, look who's here. How
are you?
- There's only room for one.
- Oh.
I just can't get enough
- Now I'm the jealous one.
This is too much
Ah ah ah
I'm over the moon
And I'm so amused
Ah ah ah
You never thought it'd be
Ah ah ah
Until you crossed the line
(Yale plays piano)
- [Nina] Yale.
Why do you never tell me you
love me?
(dramatic music)
- You should wake up.
A daughter is a daughter all of
her life,
but a son is a son till
he takes him a wife.
(footsteps shuffle)
- (grunts) What's up, boy? How
you doin'?
- [Yale] During our off
again phase,
we each visited the piano bar
separately,
asking if the other had been
there.
- Has Nina been here?
(slow soft dramatic music)
- Yeah, she was here.
- Was she alone?
- Yeah, she was alone.
- Was she sad?
- Hmm, nah, she wasn't sad.
But she asked where was you at?
(slow poignant music)
- [Yale] And that was our
routine.
- Okay. You gotta get up.
You gotta roll 'cause
the Count's in the house.
- [Yale] But one night
during an off period,
Nina wasn't ready to make up.
(rain patters)
(slow sad jazzy music)
I was in a dark mood as I drove
home.
(tires screech)
(Yale exclaims)
(car crashes)
(ambulance sirens wail)
(phone rings)
(ambulance sirens wail through
phone)
- Yes?
- Nina, my car just slid off the
road.
I need to see you.
(tape rustles)
(muffled speaking on TV)
- The car just went out of
control. I don't know why.
I mean, I'm fine, but the car's
not.
- [Man On TV] Upstairs,
and the guy bolted right
after the shooting.
- [Man On TV] Excuse me.
Hallerton's daughter.
- You know, I'm not doing
anything tomorrow night.
- [Man On TV] He's
quite a little spitfire.
(slow poignant music)
- [Man On TV] Now get the lab on
this first thing in the morning.
I want him to check it
for anything unusual.
- [Man On TV] And?
- [Man On TV] A couple of
months of hard work wasted.
(muffled speaking on TV)
- [Man On TV] Anything I can do?
- [Man On TV] Yeah. Tell me a
joke.
I could use a laugh right now.
- [Man On TV] Well, there
was a police officer
and these two detectives.
- [Yale] And then
we were back on again.
- Hmm, thank you.
I really thought after all this
time,
you'd get better at this.
- Do you have gin yet?
- You just want me to win.
- Hi, Yale.
- Hey, kids.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What are you guys doing down
here?
You goin' to bed?
- Yeah.
- Okay. Are the kids already
sleeping?
- Yup.
- Oh good.
Everyone brushed their teeth?
- Yes.
- Can you guys give
Mommy a kiss goodnight?
- Sure.
- Thank you.
Thank you. Can you guys say
good night to Yale, please?
- Goodnight, Yale.
- Goodnight. Sleep well.
(footsteps shuffle)
- I'll be up in just a
minute, okay? Love you.
(footsteps shuffle)
- What's wrong?
- (sighs) Yale, I've been
thinking.
We've been fighting with your
parents now for nine months.
Even now, they don't know
that we're even together,
and meanwhile, we're miserable.
We have to hide the way that
we feel about each other
because it makes other
people uncomfortable,
and I don't wanna do that
anymore.
Look, summer's almost over,
okay?
So why don't mean you go away
together?
Just the two of us on
like a little vacation.
- A vacation?
- Yes, and it'll be great.
I'll have it all planned, okay?
I can make the arrangements.
I'll have Clyde come stay with
the kids.
- Clyde?
- I'll tell the kids
that I'm going away with, I'm
going away with Aunt Marilyn.
- Aunt Marilyn? What?
- Yeah, it'll be so perfect.
But we deserve that little
bit of happiness, don't we?
- Yeah.
- But there's something that I
need you
to do for me first.
So I come from an era when
single people
don't just vacation together,
okay?
If you check into a motel, you
better be carrying luggage,
and you better be wearing a
wedding ring.
(romantic music)
- You know, I really appreciate
you coming out here with me,
but I'm confused as to why we
had
to come all the way up to
Allentown.
- Well, this is the only
pawn shop that I know of.
- Well, when you said
you would come with me,
I figured you were pretty
familiar with pawning things.
- Yale, I never pawned a thing
in my life.
But don't worry, I know
guys who did, all right?
You wanted me to find you a
pawn shops, so here we are.
- All right, so how does this
work?
- Simple. You're just
making a purchase, right?
So you just ask the guy to see
his stuff,
and then you take it from there,
okay?
- Gentlemen, gentlemen,
let me show you something.
- These are Jacqueline Kennedy's
pearls,
the exact same pearls she
wore in the oval office.
These pearls cost her over
$1,000.
I'll sell them to you for 200.
It would make a beautiful
gift for your wife or fiance.
- [Announcer on Radio] And
was a pivotal concern during.
- They're lovely, but I'm
here to see wedding bands.
- Wedding bands?
- Inexpensive wedding bands
if you want them.
- That's not a problem.
Caroline, show him some wedding
bands.
- [Announcer on Radio] The
month that would close.
- Hey fellas, how are you?
- Hey.
- We have a great assortment
right here.
What exactly are you looking
for?
- Take it easy on him. He
just got out of college.
- Okay.
- I'm looking for
something small and thin.
- Okay. What size is she?
(soft poignant music)
You don't know her size?
I'm guessing this is a surprise
proposal?
- Something like that.
- Okay.
- How about that one right
there?
Is there an inscription on it?
- [Caroline] No, it's
too thin for inscription,
and that one won't turn her
finger green.
It's a good price.
- I think this is yup,
yeah. This is perfect.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- Tom.
- I want us to start
out with a clean slate.
- [Tom] Stop in a take a look at
it.
Hold on. Yeah!
- Can you please clean
it up for him, please?
- Absolutely.
- Thank you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
(light jaunty music)
- [Tom] Bob, can you clean this
up for us?
- I'm Jerry.
- Hi Jerry.
Ooh, sorry.
- You like parties?
- Do you see any others you
like?
- I think we're all set,
actually.
- [Caroline] Tom, are you done
with that?
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- [Caroline] Do I like parties?
- You ready, Yale?
- Yeah.
- [Caroline] That was weird.
- Everything. We have
everything?
- Yes.
- Okay.
(soft poignant music)
- [Nina] We gotta hurry.
I can't believe we're actually
doing this.
- [Yale] I know. It's
gonna be such a great time.
- Just the two of us.
- Yes, we do.
- Oh! I forgot.
Remember what you asked me?
Oh, really?
- Yes.
- Thank you. My God, and it
fits!
- All right, time to go. Let's
go.
- Is this a proposal?
- Not quite.
Let's get going.
- All right.
(door shuts)
(birds chirp)
(door opens)
(upbeat bluesy rock music)
- [Nina] This is gonna be
such a romantic getaway.
- Just have to figure out what
we're
gonna do when we get there.
I mean, there's probably
plenty to do, right?
- Oh, I'm sure. I can
probably think of some things.
- Probably. Did you bring the
cards?
- (laughs) Yes, Yale.
- Good, good.
(Nina laughs)
- [Yale] Finally we were
off,
driving away and leaving
all our cares behind.
- [Yale] It's beautiful weather,
too.
- [Nina] I know, it's
such a beautiful day.
- [Yale] Are you sure the
kids are gonna be okay?
(soft dramatic music)
(birds chirp)
- [Yale] We drove up to
Cape Cod to Provincetown.
Provincetown is an artistic
colony
with a beautiful beach
enhanced by a sea breeze.
We wandered through the
shops, admiring the crafts.
We walked on the beach,
looking for seashells
and Cape Cod diamonds.
(waves crash)
(pleasant music)
(Nina screams and laughs)
- Perfect, perfect.
Right there, right there.
Yep. So yeah, you-
- See all that?
- Do you have any kids?
- Right? Yeah.
- No.
- [Yale] In the afternoon,
we had our portraits
painted as caricatures.
(muffled chatter)
- [Artist] You have kids, for
real?
- Five kids, five. Five kids.
- Five kids? One, three,
four, five, for real?
Voila.
- Thank you!
- [Yale] I thought this must
be
what a honeymoon feels like.
But we were star-crossed lovers,
little knowing what fate had in
store.
(waves crash)
(soft poignant music)
I woke up early on our
second day in paradise
and went out to walk on the
dunes.
Overnight, the sand is
washed cleaned by the tide,
erasing all evidence of human
footprints
from the day before.
That's when I got the
inspiration to drag my feet
and draw this huge valentine in
the sand.
(sand crunches)
Inscribed with the words Yale
and Nina.
While I was creating this
ephemeral work of art,
Nina got a phone call
from our friend, Jerry.
(phone rings)
- Nina?
- Is this Jerry?
- [Jerry] Yeah, listen, I
can't get ahold of Yale.
- [Nina] How did you find us?
- [Jerry] Listen, Esther
knows where you guys are at.
- What?
- All right,
so you need to stop what you're
doing
and get back here as soon as
possible.
I can't cover for you guys
anymore.
- [Nina] Wait, what do
you mean? How does she-
- [Jerry] I don't know,
Nina. Look, I gotta go.
- [Nina] Oh God, okay. Oh my
God.
- [Yale] That ended
our trip to paradise.
He called to tell us that my
sister
had pieced together our
coordinated disappearance
and called him threatening
to tell the kids awful things
about their immoral mother.
(phone rings)
- Hello?
- Hey, Esther.
- [Esther] Yes, Jerry.
- [Jerry] Hey, yeah.
Yeah, listen, I just wanted
to talk to you about Yale.
Kind of worried about him.
This girl Nina, she
really got to his head.
- [Esther] Yeah, we were
concerned about that.
- [Jerry] Listen, they're
both in Cape Cod together.
I thought you should know.
- What?
Who else knows about this?
- [Jerry] No one. I just
thought you should know, huh?
All right, look, you gotta
keep this between us, okay?
- [Jerry] I can't promise
that, Jerry. I can't.
- [Jerry] All right, I gotta go.
Bye.
- [Yale] The seven-hour ride
home
was mostly filled with silence,
each in our own thoughts
of what do we do now?
(car shuts off)
(birds chirp)
- You have that ring?
(slow dramatic music)
- What ring?
- The one that I gave you. Do
you have it?
I'm gonna need it back.
- What?
- Just give it back.
- No, I-
- Take it.
- Nina.
- Take your stupid ring.
I don't want it.
- Nina, will you come?
- [Yale] This time,
Nina was at her wit's end.
- Get away from me!
- Will you wait, please?
Just give me a second to-
- Take your ring and go!
- Nina, will you please-
- Stop following me!
- Nina, come here!
Will you let me explain?
I don't wanna give you a ring
if it has no meaning to it.
There's so many bad
memories attached to it.
- We can't keep doing this!
Not when it involves my
children.
- The children? What do you mean
the-
- Breaking up with you is gonna
kill me,
but just so I can put you
out of my life forever,
I need you to tell me one thing.
Tell me you don't love me.
Just say it.
Tell me you don't love me!
(Nina cries)
Coward.
Get out.
- [Yale] I couldn't say it,
and so we were breaking up
again.
- [Richard] In 1968 will
determine
not only the future of America.
- [Yale] Deciding that
everyone else
in the world would be better off
if we could just learn to
live without each other.
- And the question that we
answer tonight.
Tonight, I again proudly
accept that nomination
for president of the United
States.
(audience cheers)
- [Yale] I visited Nina a
week later.
I still hadn't figured out an
answer for our relationship.
- [Yale] Hello?
(soft poignant music)
- [Yale] But I needed to see
Nina just
to know she was okay.
- Hey, Raymond.
- Mom is unhappy all the time,
and if you keep on breaking up
with her because of us kids,
I just want you to know I'll
help.
Just please don't break up with
her again.
- Raymond, our breaking up has
never been
because of you kids.
But this is just a quick visit.
I just wanna make sure your
mom's okay.
I'm not ready to come back
just yet, but Raymond,
I promise that you when I do
come back,
it'll be for keeps, okay?
(soft piano music)
- [Yale] Then what's real love,
and how do I know if I've found
it?
- When you can't live without
'em.
- I can't stand this.
Any problem we'd have to face,
I'd rather face it than
face a life without Nina.
(waves crash in distance)
I get it.
This is true love.
Don't make me explain it now,
but I have to tell you this.
I love you.
I will find a way for us
to live our lives together.
But how do I proceed?
(soft tinkling whimsical music)
- [Yale] Problem solving
technique number four,
what would the hero do?
Have you ever found
yourself reading a book
and this story has a difficult
plot point
for the main character and
then he finds a solution
and you love the way he
worked out the problem?
And you think to yourself,
"Yeah,
I'd like to think I do that,
too.
I admire that kind of character,
and I'd love to be like him."
So when I encounter a real-life
problem,
I pretend I'm reading about it
in a book,
and the solution comes to me
right away.
I know exactly what the
hero of the book would do.
In this case, he would
resolve the problem directly,
tackle it head on, do whatever
it took.
No more living life on the
periphery,
just observing and being
philosophical.
Instead, he jumped right in with
both feet
and confront the problem.
And so I resolved to confront
the problem directly.
I made an appointment
to get my head examined.
- I have this problem.
I love my family, but I love
this woman.
My family is dead set against
us marrying each other.
Let me explain the details.
This woman, Nina is her name,
she's almost 40, and she has
five kids,
five amazing kids that I love.
And then there's my
family on the other side,
and they don't care.
They don't feel that anything
that I feel towards Nina is
valid.
They think it's wrong,
and then there's me.
Sometimes I think I'm
insane. Sometimes I don't.
Sometimes I wonder would it
be better off without Nina,
looking for someone my own age?
(sighs) But I always come
back to I need her in my life,
and that's it.
It's all one great big problem.
- Okay, look, you don't
have one great big problem.
You have two separate problems.
One problem is your
relationship with your parents.
The other problem is your
relationship with this woman.
And you've got to find solutions
to each of them separately.
- Ah.
- Listen,
I'm not telling you to rush
out and get married right now.
I think there's still some
things we need to work on,
and you should come back next
week, and I'll see you again.
(light jaunty music)
- Well, it seems like you know
what you're talking about.
So, okay.
(clock ticks)
Here's the list of the
concerns Nina and I resolved.
Were were we ready to
handle society's attitude
about our age difference?
Was I prepared to handle the
challenges
of a large family
financially and emotionally?
What were our thoughts on
adopting another child?
Would we want to have another
child?
How would we feel about
each other in years ahead?
Or how would our
relationship affect the kids?
- Well, I see our time is up for
today,
so let's schedule another
session for next week.
Well, what for?
- Well, we'll continue to talk
about this.
- I don't understand why
we'd have to do that.
(slow dramatic music)
Look, the only reason I
came here in the first place
was I know that marrying a woman
older
than me with five kids is rather
unusual.
So it occurred to me maybe I'm
insane,
and if I'm insane, even
if it makes sense to me,
it may all be on irrational
thinking.
So I guess what I need to hear
from you
is am I crazy or not?
Because if I'm not crazy,
then there's no reason for
me to continue seeing you.
What I realized during the
session
is I spent the entire time
explaining to you my rationale
for wanting to marry Nina, and I
know now,
I don't need my parents'
permission.
And if I don't need their
permission,
then I don't need yours
because I have it for myself.
(light hokey music)
I can't keep coming back
just for your approval
because I have it in me.
So just tell me this. Am I
insane?
- (laughs) No, you're not
insane.
What you're planning to do is
unusual,
and it doesn't stand the best
chance of being successful,
but you're not insane.
(light hokey music)
- Thank you very much. Our work
is done.
(door opens and shuts)
(light up-tempo jaunty music)
(car hums)
(door opens and shuts)
(footsteps shuffle)
Hello?
(Nina slurps drink)
I'm here, and I know what
I wanna do with my life.
I wanna marry you.
- [Announcer on Radio] For
President Johnson, word.
(muffled speaking)
(Nina slurps drink)
Will you marry me?
(Nina slurps drink)
- I'll have to think about it.
(papers shuffle)
- What do you mean you
wanna think about it?
Haven't you been thinking
about it the entire time?
- Well, you never asked
me to marry you before,
so I never had anything to think
about.
- Is this a joke?
- No, you never asked
me to marry you before,
so now I need some time to think
about it.
(Nina slurps drink)
- I'll give you five minutes.
- No, ask me again tomorrow.
(slurps) Mm, I need a little
more sugar.
(light jaunty music)
(clock tick and whirs)
(clock dings)
(car hums)
(footsteps shuffle)
- Hi?
- Hi. Want some coffee?
- Yeah. Is that all you have to
say?
- You want some sugar in your
coffee?
(spoons clinks)
- Isn't there something
else you wanna tell me?
(soft poignant music)
Well, what's your answer?
Will you marry me?
(spoon thuds)
- Yes!
(sweeping romantic music)
Of course, of course.
- What took you so long?
- I was giving you a chance,
you know, in case you changed
your mind.
If you weren't gonna ask me
again,
well, I just wasn't gonna say
anything.
Oh, look at that dress.
- I like that one.
- Do you like that? Do you like
that style?
- Yeah, no, I like that a lot.
- [Nina] Oh, Raymond loves
chocolate. What about that for a
cake?
- What about the rest of 'em?
- Well-
- We can't just give Raymond
what he wants alone.
- Well, I mean, I'm just
thinking, "What would they
want?"
You know it's...
Oh, what about that
little bow tie for David?
Oh my God.
- He'd look great.
- That would be so sweet.
- He'd look great.
- What about the girls, though?
Do you think they'd wanna
wear a matching outfit,
- They may have something more
in the middle.
- wanna match Mommy?
- Aw. Oh, that's cute.
- Maybe.
- Okay.
- Mona will probably like that.
But, you know, with everything
going on,
I think there's something we
probably need to consider.
With everything that's been
going on, I just feel like,
I don't know if we
should invite your parents to
our wedding.
I'm starting to think
it might just be easier
if we just eloped.
- No, no.
I will not let my parents
drive us to live our lives
contrary to the way we
ordinarily would.
We will have a wedding,
and we will invite whoever we
want.
If they decide not to
come, then it's on them.
And if they do come and behave
poorly,
then I'll escort them out.
But we will have a healthy
relationship
with my parents by behaving
normally.
- Okay then. How about we do
this?
We have a small wedding here
and then just invite immediate
family,
and two weeks later, we'll do a
reception,
and we'll invite all our
friends.
- Okay, makes sense. I like that
idea.
We'll do that.
I'll drive up to Hazleton
tomorrow
and tell the parents our plans.
(couple kisses)
- Oh! Oh, look at that.
Did you see that?
- Esther called for my
recipe for lamb pie,
so I'm looking at up here.
Oh, look at this! Oh, look at
this.
That's a lamb chop with mint
jelly.
Would you like something like
this, Sid?
(laughs) Look who's here.
What's the occasion, dear?
- Mom, Dad, I'm here to announce
our plans
and invite you to our wedding.
- What? I thought you were
breaking up.
Now out of the blue,
you come here and tell us
you're getting married?
- Dad, I didn't drive up here to
fight.
I made my decision,
and I'm here to invite you to
the wedding.
- Who do you think you are?
What kind of nonsense is?
- Dad, I'll discuss whatever
you wanna talk about,
but if you continue yelling
at me, I will leave.
- This is my house, and I am the
boss,
and you will hear me out!
- I'm not kidding.
I'll talk with you if you talk
with me,
but if you continue yelling at
me-
- Well, we'll just see about
that!
(dramatic music)
- That's it.
- Sid, Yale! Sid!
I can't watch this.
- Come back here now!
Back here right now,
Yale! Do you hear me, son?
I wanna talk to you! Talk to me
right now!
- I will not come near you when
you're screaming like that.
- I'd like to crack your head
open
and pour some sense into it.
- Dad, if you just stop yelling,
I'll come back into the
house, and we can talk.
(soft dramatic music)
(door creaks closed)
- [Announcer on Radio] There
should be no confusion.
- You promised me you'd
see a psychiatrist.
- As a matter of fact, I did.
- And? And what did he say?
- He said I'm not crazy.
- Well, then you went to the
wrong doctor.
You go to the doctor I tell you
to.
- No, Mom. t doesn't work like
that.
- I can't believe you think so
little
of your very own family that
you would choose her over us!
- Well, who made that
rule? Definitely not me!
I want Nina and I want the
family.
Wait a minute, I can't
believe you love me so little
as to think that my choosing
Nina, I'm giving up the family!
I choose Nina and the
family, and that's my rule.
(soft tense music)
(soft poignant music)
- [Yale] We held the
wedding in Nina's home.
(birds chirp)
- [Yale] Nina, I love you so
much. You look so beautiful.
- [Yale] We held our breath,
wondering what my parents might
do.
(soft tense music)
But they behaved.
- Frank, ew!
Stop sweating and stand up
straight, for God's sakes.
(light jaunty music)
You think they would at least
decorate.
I mean, it's cute, simple.
My sister's a simple
kind of girl, you know.
When I married my Donald,
we pulled out all the stops.
Or was that my Richie? I don't
know.
What I'm trying to say is you
just
can't put a price tag on to
love.
Sh, it's starting.
- You have a place in
the Jewish community.
Treasure that place and
make that place worthy
of your heritage.
Remember that, especially
when you conclude the ceremony
by stepping on the glass,
that it's a new beginning.
- If this marriage lasts
six months, I'd be shocked.
- May the Lord bless
you and watch over you.
May God be gracious unto you,
and may His light shine upon
you.
May God always look at you,
and may He give you peace.
With your right foot, step on
the glass.
(glass thuds onto grass)
(soft poignant music)
(foot stomps)
(glass crunches)
Mazel tov.
- Mazel tov!
(audience claps)
- [Yale] Dad even filmed the
affair.
(film reel clicks)
But afterwards, he told
me he didn't realize
till we got home that there
was no film in the camera.
25 years later when I was
transferring mom's home movies
from film to video tape,
guess what I found?
Our wedding.
- You look lovely. Welcome.
- Thank you. Glad you could
come.
(Esther sighs)
(upbeat class rock music)
(muffled chatter)
- [Jerry] Nina, you know,
it could've been me and you.
- Oh, are you hitting on a
married woman,
- Never.
- sir?
- Jerry, you know better.
- Let's do a turn.
- Aw.
- Ooh!
- Oh, okay.
- You're so beautiful, Nina.
- Okay.
- Woo! (laughs)
I dropped my yamaka.
- [Yale] But then the
evening closed
in the sweetest way.
(soft poignant music)
- (grunts) All right, ready for
bed?
- Goodnight, Daddy.
- Goodnight, David.
- No, you must say, "Goodnight,
son."
- Goodnight, son.
- And I thought, "What do I do
now?"
But this time, the answer was
easy.
I enjoy the rest of my
life. I'm Yale Schwartz.
(sweeping poignant music)
Ah ah ah
I just can't get enough
Ah ah ah
This is too much
Ah ah ah
I'm over the moon
And I'm so amused
Ah ah ah
You never thought it'd be
Ah ah ah
Until you crossed the line
Ah ah ah
And give it one more try
Said you were half not whole
You said it was a hell
No way in hell
And I can't remember the last
time
It was my time
I'll be the next in line
One last time the stars will
all align
This world can't keep
me from what is mine
I'm gonna take my shot
'Cause this might be
the last chance I've got
Last chance I've got
Last chance I've got
Ah ah ah
It's easy to run away
Ah ah ah
Not sure where to go
Ah ah ah
You're feeling astray
Don't give up
Ah ah ah
See it all so clearly
Ah ah ah
Don't get so weary
Ah ah ah
So enjoy what you may
I'll be here to stay
You said it was hell
No way in hell
And I can't remember
the last time
it was my time, I'll be the
next in line
one last time
the stars will all align
this world can't keep me from
what is mine
I'm gonna take my shot
cause this might be the last
chance I got last chance I got
From my eyes (my eyes)
(applause and cheering)
through my tears (my tears)
but I won't have fear (fear)
from my eyes (my eyes)
through my tears (my tears)
but I won't have fear
(applause fades out and song
fades into background)
- [Yale] A couple things I need
to say...
Aunt Shirley,
thank you for introducing
me to Nina.
(applause resurges, song picks
back up)
...will all align
This world can't keep me from
what is mine
I'm gonna take my shot
Cause this might be the last
chance I got
Last chance I got (last chance
I got)
(upbeat music begins)
- Shirley I am
gonna kill you!
- I'm curious to see recipes
for... love potion.
- This marriage lasts six
months... I'll be shocked.
- There's Yale and Nina again...
- [Shirley] Yale!
- Hey!
- [Sidney] I'd like to crack
your head
open and pour some sense
into it!
- When you can't live
without her.
- No, you're not insane.
What you're planning to do is
unusual...
(solemn music)