Alienator (1990) Movie Script
[Dramatic music plays]
[Door slams]
You ready
for your big day, scum?
[Commander] Vaporization
is too good for you.
I'd a lot rather see you
kicking at the end of a rope,
or squirming and crawling around
dying real slow
in a gas chamber.
As a matter of fact,
after that ugly stunt
- you pulled on Alpha seven...
- [Door lock beep]
I'd give anything to kill you
myself. It's a lousy shame
half of our families
had to be present for that.
Commander.
Your visitor is in security.
Visitor?
A delegate general
from gamma 12.
He's not due until tomorrow.
[Head guard] Well, there's been
an official change.
- Problems?
- Don't ever talk to me, scum.
[Groaning]
[Sighs]
What the hell is going on here?
How come I wasn't notified?
Commander, I'm sorry I meant
to tell you. It's... just I got
- distracted with...
- It was a direct order, sir,
priority blue.
Uh, the delegate general
had a scheduling conflict.
He's here only to observe.
When I want your interpretation,
Tara, I'll ask for it.
I'm sorry, commander.
I only meant...
And Tara, have your boyfriend
let you get some sleep,
you're looking a little...
Burnt.
No executions for six months.
Today of all days, I've got
public relations to deal with.
[Prison sergeant]
How is his genes scan?
Checks out, a-okay.
Wow. Look at that hook pattern.
Never saw that before.
He's from gamma 12. They had
a mass gene splicing there
a couple hundred years ago,
could be residual effect.
My name is lund.
I'm here to observe and
make a few suggestions so...
Just carry on
and forget I exist.
- Prepare the first execution.
- That'll be prisoner 485.
Do it.
And bring in kol,
put him in the holding cell.
I want him to see
what's in store for him.
[Door slams]
- [Button beeps]
- [Door slams]
[Groaning]
What are those
green buttons there?
Uh, well this one
regulates the vapor quantifier
and this one engages
the destruct mechanism,
provided the safety is off.
Mm. So you hold the power
of life or death
in those pretty little hands.
I don't get
any particular thrill
- in pulling the switch.
- No?
Then why don't you try
not pulling the switch?
Make a stand
for the sanctity of human life,
- make a difference, be daring.
- Then I wouldn't have a job,
and besides, it's not up to me.
She's right, lund.
This is the last stop.
Prisoners here have
exhausted all their appeals.
They've had their day in court.
This is the toilet of the
interplanetary penal system.
Our job is just to flush 'em.
First prisoner is approaching
the chamber now.
Here are the files
on the first two, commander.
Let him have a look.
See what kind of scum
we're about to neutralize.
- Prisoner 485 in position.
- All clear.
You realize this prisoner leaves
children behind?
[Lund] What you're doing here
is inhuman.
He's inhuman.
His kind should've never been
allowed to breed.
On my planet,
even the most vicious criminals
are allowed life. We believe
in dynamic rehabilitation.
Executions such as these
are barbaric.
That's right. Erase him.
What is it?
You got the all clear!
I don't know. I've checked
all the circuits, I...
- Safety's engaged.
- Get up, I'll do it.
Very hard on her.
We have a serious mandate here.
There's no room for sloppiness.
All clear.
Take a good look, kol.
[Commander] This is how
we 're gonna turn you inside out.
[Chuckles] Hey, kol. I'm keeping
this seat warm for you.
[Laser beaming]
Looks like electrical damage.
There's no response
from the guards.
It's a break.
[Man on speaker]
Secure all areas.
[Groaning]
You guys follow me. I'm gonna do
this guy the big favor myself.
[Man on speaker]
Secure all areas. Alert! Alert!
[Man on speaker]
Secure all areas. Alert! Alert!
[Man on speaker]
Secure all areas. Alert! Alert!
[Screaming]
Hurry, cut him off
on level five.
- Level five sealed.
- More activity on three c.
- This triple-o-c kol?
- You know him?
Only from his file,
interesting man.
- [Gun cocking]
- He's a scum.
[Screaming]
Someone's broken
into the airlock.
He gets out of the station,
we've lost him.
- He's gone.
- I don't believe
- I let him get away.
- It's not you're doing though.
If my staff malfunctions,
I'm to blame.
- I'm not done yet though.
- Meaning?
- Call out the hunter unit.
- Alright.
[Heavy breathing]
[Gasping]
[Heavy breathing]
[Beeping]
Earth, earth.
Don't you think you've had
enough to drink, Rick?
I drive better
on a couple of brews.
[Yawning]
Hey, Rick, how much further
we've got to go?
Half hour I guess, maybe more.
We'd be there by now
if it wasn't for this damn road.
Do you want me to drive
for a while?
- I'll yell if I need you.
- Okay.
Oh, Rick, look what I did!
You made me smear my lipstick.
How can you tell?
- [Orrie gasps]
- [Fireball shooting]
What was that?
I don't know.
It must've been a meteor.
Hey, why don't we stop and take
a little rest, stretch our legs,
and maybe we can find something.
I don't stop till I get
where I'm going, jeez.
[Footsteps]
[Heavy breathing]
[Heavy breathing]
Rick slow down please.
You have been in my Porsche
on the Ortega highway, come on.
Porsche, and this isn't
the Ortega highway.
Come one, trust me.
I know what I'm doing.
[Heavy breathing and groaning]
[Footsteps on dry leaves]
[Groaning]
- [Orrie] Slow down please.
- Shit.
[Orrie] Oh god!
- You've hit someone.
- Tell me about it.
- What happened?
- Damn.
- Rick hit someone.
- Oh, great driving, Mario.
- Damn!
- Come on.
Oh, my god. Is he dead?
Oh, Jesus, Karen, what are you
trying to do, finish him off?
What's this shit
all over his face?
Is he a wine-o or something?
Well, it certainly be fortunate
for us if he was.
We gotta get help for him.
Listen, it wasn't my fault.
He just like... bolted out
- in front of me.
- Rick, calm down, okay?
My dad's a lawyer.
I'm sure he'll help you out.
- I don't need a lawyer.
- Rick...
- This weirdo...
- Nobody's blaming you.
Now come on,
let's get him inside.
Look, where are we going
to take him?
There's a ranger station
near the camp grounds.
I don't hear his heart.
- [Kol gasping]
- [Benny screaming]
[Groaning]
[Owl hooting]
[Harley] Damn!
Jesus.
I'm sorry, Harley. I...
I guess I'm just a bitjumpy.
Well, we'll put that on the list
along with stupid!
[Cans clanking]
Hey, what the hell
are you doing now, Burt?
Cans, for target practice,
Harley.
[Chuckling]
You know we don't have time
for this kind of shit.
- Put the god damn cans down.
- Oh, come on, Harley.
Look, now you are hungry,
and what's more, I'm hungry
so get up off your ass
and let's find something
so we can both eat.
- Okay?
- Okay, Harley, okay.
Now go on and get your ass
down the path.
- God damn, Harley, you got it.
- Oh, be quiet, will you?
You'll get the warden
on our ass.
- Look at it.
- [Ward] You got that right.
[Harley giggling]
Put the trap down.
Don't ever mess
with another man's trap, Burt.
[Harley]
Well, how are you doing, ward?
We just heard the poor
whimpering cries
of this little thing and being
the good samaritans we are,
we decided to... well, you know,
- come to its rescue.
- Is that what happened, Burt?
Well, you know how it is, ward.
[Ward] How many times am I
gonna have to write you two up?
One more citation and you're
both going to the work farm.
Oh... ward, you wouldn't wanna
do that, would you?
Look, I know you fellows
gotta eat, but stealing my traps
and these animals
is against the law,
state law and my law.
You know, how come it is that
you get to get all the animals
you want and we can't, you know,
I don't... that just don't seem
- fair at all to me.
- Harley, you know this section
of the forest is a game
preserve, that means no hunting.
[Ward] Now, I catch 'em,
I tag 'em and let 'em go.
You stick to your part
of the forest, you can trap
all the rabbits you want.
But you just stay
out of my neighborhood.
But all the good animals
come over here.
- That's right.
- They just look at our traps
and come over to your neck
of the woods.
I've seen your traps. Since when
does it take a bear trap
to catch a rabbit?
Oh now, wait a minute, ward.
You don't know
what might show up around here.
You know,
we've been here a lot longer
before you ever dropped in here
and I wanna tell you something,
there was bears here,
and cougars and maybe even
- a big foot or two.
- [Ward] You all just turn around
and get yourselves right on
outta here. Go on,
- pick up your stuff and get.
- Now alright.
Okay, little fella,
we'll take care of you.
[Owl hooting]
- [Engine running]
- [Rv honking]
[Orrie] Come on,
it should be right down there.
[Benny] This guy's got
a first aid kit?
[Caroline] Come on.
[Orrie]
Maybe there's a doctor here.
[Door closing]
[Indistinct chatter]
- [Orrie] No, don't say anything.
- Calm down, calm down,
- one at a time.
- This guy just jumped out
in front of me. I clipped him.
He's hurt bad.
- Where is he?
- [Rick] He's in the rv.
- We better have a look.
- He jumped out in front of me.
Nobody could've stopped
in time, nobody,
- and I've got witnesses.
- Just take it easy, young man.
[Ward] How long ago
did this happen?
- Fifteen, 20 minutes.
- He's weird looking, isn't he?
I mean...
I mean he's some kind of wacko.
Yeah. Help me get him
into the cabin.
Here, put this
on his head wound for now.
- Hey, you calling the police?
- I am the police around here.
[Telephone ringing]
- Yeah.
- [Ward] Hello, doc burnside.
Doc this is ward Armstrong
up here at station one.
Ward, it's a little late
to be calling, huh?
[Ward] Well I... I'm sorry
to bother you, doc, but...
We've got a badly injured
fella up here,
got himself tangled up
with an rv
- uh, how serious is it?
- [Ward] Well, he's...
Breathing shallow,
he's lost a lot of blood
or bodily fluids or something.
What, what are you
talking about?
[Ward] Uh... nothing, uh...
How long will it take you
to get up here?
Probably... half an hour or so.
Listen, you... you just keep him
warm and comfortable
and keep his legs elevated
until I get there, hmm?
- Okay, doc, thanks.
- Alright.
[Exhales]
[Sighs]
[Takes a deep breath]
So what's the story?
Can... can we go now?
Just take it easy.
I need to file a report on this,
I'll need to run your license
with the LAPD computer.
Look, I'm no criminal,
I'm a pre-law student
and I know my rights.
Like I said if you check out and
there's no outstanding warrants,
you'll be outta here in an hour.
No problem.
- Is this decaf?
- Nope.
Oh, thank you, god.
I need a serious caffeine fix.
- Anybody else?
- I'll take a cup, please.
- [Collar beeping]
- [Orrie screaming]
[Glass breaking]
[Gasping]
Death spasm.
Saw it once in a movie.
All the muscles kind of contract
and bang. They sit up
- on the morgue table.
- Shut up, Benny.
I can't feel any pulse.
I bet the bastard doesn't
even have insurance.
He's not gonna need it now.
[Collar beeping]
Look at those eyes. It looks
like he's whacked out on pcp.
You've been in an accident.
Do you have any family?
Any friends? Someone
you want us to contact?
- [Panting] It's coming.
- What's coming?
[Breathing heavily] Death!
- What is your name?
- Kol.
Kol? How do you spell that?
And what kind of accent is that?
Are you French?
Isn't that interesting?
When he speaks,
it... it looks kind of like
a kung fu movie.
I... come from another world.
I was... captured by... beings.
They were going to torture
and kill me. I had no choice.
I... fled their planet
and landed here.
Who's they"?
They will track me down
and kill me...
Kill you, all of you.
[Spacecraft whizzing]
[Women screaming]
[Spacecraft shutting down]
According to this,
the pursuit craft has landed.
Coordinates?
Very close
to the crashed shuttle.
If the prisoner's still alive,
the hunter unit will find him.
He's still alive.
His kind always survives.
- Better tell the commander.
- Just do your job.
I don't understand it,
I released the safety,
- I know I did.
- You thought you did.
I did.
You were probably day dreaming.
I wasn't.
I may not be
the most objective person.
I don't think it was
too objective of you
when you dumped me for that e.M.
Please don't.
It's your career
you're throwing away.
You can't order me
to love you, commander.
Ican1?
[Chuckling] Well, a curious way
to keep the troops on toe,
commander.
Well, don't stop on my account.
Looks like fun.
Go to your quarters.
Rather highly decorated
for a degenerate.
You've got a lot of balls even
for a delegate general.
Heard of the primitive custom
here? It's called knock first.
Well...
Another one of your toys?
As a matter of fact, it is. It's
a test for strength and skill.
- Perhaps you'd like to play.
- Perhaps I would.
[Knocking]
Come in. That's an example
of a proper way of doing it.
Excuse me, commander,
the recovery ship has landed,
mobile unit's taking a pursuit
on land.
Is the tracking device
still intact?
So far, the prisoner
has been unable to remove it.
As long as that collar
remains functional,
the unit should've no trouble
in finding him, eliminating him.
And if the unit meets
with life forms, what then?
I don't care if it blows
a whole planet apart.
I want that prisoner dead
at any cost.
Forget to pay your utility bill?
I think the generator is blown.
It's here. It's taken control
of your power systems.
- This guy is a nutcase.
- Please, Rick, he's trying
- to tell us something.
- [Benny] Where are you from?
My home... no longer exists.
They destroyed it.
[Laughing] What a crock!
This bozo's not
from outer space.
He's just some nutcase
from a loony bin.
Maybe he's telling the truth.
Maybe he really is
from another world.
Now you're just talking
as flakey as the brainiac here.
[Car approaching]
[Engine failing]
[Starter grinding]
[Engine cranking]
[Footsteps on leaves]
[Starter grinding]
[Owl hooting]
[Whispering] Oh, shit.
What the hell.
Look I... I'm the... the doctor,
they sent for me.
[Laser shooting]
[Screaming]
It's here.
[Groaning in pain]
- [Collar beeping]
- [Screaming in pain]
[Screaming]
[Fire crackling]
Phone's dead.
It's here now. That's why
your machines will not work.
What are you
talking about, buddy?
It'll kill me. Anyone who stands
in its way will be destroyed.
Blow it outta your ass,
goof ball.
What the hell is going on here?
I'll go outside and see if I can
get the generator working.
I'm going with you.
[Clearing her throat]
So, kol... do you, uh, know et?
[Heavy breathing]
[Owl hooting]
- What's the problem?
- [Ward] Ah, not the carb,
it's getting gas.
Damn thing is busted.
- Let me try.
- I said it's busted, son.
[Dialing police radio]
Nothing.
[Continues to dial]
Damn.
- What the fuck's going on here?
- Damned if I know.
[Harley] What the hell
did you do with the truck, Burt?
You saw me start it.
I didn't do shit.
Damn thing just died.
Oh, how old
was that battery anyhow?
Brand new. I just stole
the damn thing yesterday.
[Laughing]
- What the hell?
- Well, screw this walking crap.
[Shouting] Thank you, thank you.
[Chuckles]
- You ain't gonna steal a car?
- Oh, we ain't stealing it,
it's probably abandoned.
Let's just hope
they abandoned the key too.
Hey, I don't know
if I wanna steal a car.
Well then you can just walk.
My feet hurt so adios, amigo.
This looks like
doc burnside's car. You know,
- he wouldn't mind if we used it.
- Harley, Harley.
Yeah, just a minute,
just a minute.
Harley... what is that?
Oh, my god.
You don't think
it's doc burnside, do you?
He don't look to well.
Huh, well done is more like it.
Don't touch it.
Don't do that.
Come on, the keys
ain't in the car. Let's go.
- You want some drugs, Burt?
- Not if they are the kind
- he's been taking.
- Oh god!
In my opinion,
he's a real McCoy,
a genuine visitor
from another planet.
Think about it. We are taking
part in man's greatest
historical encounter here. We'll
go down in the history books.
Outstanding, really outstanding.
Now let's just say
this goofus here
is who he claims to be,
some refugee from planet x
being chased half way
across the universe by some
cosmic killer? [Chuckles]
You must be some bad dude.
Hey. You a bad dude?
What did you do to get your ass
in such a sling?
You don't look so bad
down the barrel of this gun.
Hey why did you do that?
Didn't anybody ever teach you
not to play with firearms?
Yeah, you're gonna need
all the help you can get
- when that monster gets here.
- Monster?
Take it easy,
there isn't any monster.
Oh, yeah, right, like it's just
coincidence the power's out,
that the phone won't work,
that the cars won't start,
- who are you kidding?
- This is a very advanced being.
He probably sucks
electricity up like a sponge.
Maybe he can suck the electrons
of our thoughts
- right out of our brains.
- Knock it off, jerk.
What are you worried about?
Your brain's already drained.
His race probably thinks of us
the same way
we do of white lab rats.
You know, as something
to pump full of cigarettes
- and diet soda.
- Hey, that's enough, Benny.
Oh, come on,
I was just theorizing.
[Car honking]
[Collar beeping]
It's here. It's outside.
[Car honking]
[Beeping]
[Gun cocking]
Stay inside here, all of you.
Wait, I wanna go with you.
[Car honking]
I thought I told you
to stay inside.
Awesome.
What do you want?
I'm not staying trapped
in here with this guy?
It might be dangerous outside.
Make a move and you're history.
What the hell...
You really are from...
Back off, fucker.
Kill it. It's your only chance.
It doesn't look
like a monster to me.
Don't go any nearer.
Let me try to talk to it.
You see that weapon it carries?
It can easily incinerate
this building.
You will burn slowly
from the inside out.
- No way.
- I'm telling you the truth.
I don't want to die. Do you?
- But...
- Oh, don't be afraid.
You can do it. Use your weapon
now before it's too late.
[Gunshot]
- What the... stop shooting.
- [Rick] I got it.
Stop shooting.
Go back to the cabin.
I think we should go with him.
[Laser zapping]
[Explosion]
- What the hell are you doing?
- Great fucking shooting...
She was gonna blast you guys!
Save it,
we are going out the back.
[Caroline] Jesus Christ,
what the hell is happening?
[Ward] Keep moving,
keep moving, hurry up,
keep moving, come on, come on.
[Laser zapping]
Run!
- Which fucking way?
- Straight ahead,
- there's another cabin up there.
- We almost got our asses dusted
trying to hide in that cabin.
That space bitch just got
something against wood.
Get the picture?
She wants to kill us
because you had to play Rambo,
- you muscle head.
- Kill each other now,
it'll be easier for you all
and far less painful.
Come on, let's move, move.
[Laser zapping]
Well, what do you see?
Well, it looks like
ward's cabin alright.
What the hell is he doing?
[Laser zapping]
Well, he ain't doing nothing.
Looks like
he left his lights on.
[Whirring]
What was that?
I don't know.
You better come on down here.
- Is that what we are hunting?
- More likely what's hunting us.
What'd we do to it?
What did the little old rabbit
ever do to us?
Well, one bit me once.
Point that thing
in another direction,
you ignorant hillbilly.
I swear to god if you weren't
my brother, I'd put you out
- of my misery.
- Oh, now you wouldn't do that,
would you, Harley?
No, I promised mama
I'd take care of you.
[Footsteps approaching]
- There's a shortcut over here.
- Wait, stay on the path.
- [Orrie] Rick! No.
- Wait here. I'll go after him.
I warned you to stay
on the main trail.
[Trap snapping]
[Metal clinking]
What asshole put that there?
Poachers have traps
all over this area.
Well, that goddamn thing
could've torn my leg off.
Did anybody ever tell you that
you've got an attitude problem?
All the time.
They're coming.
Rick are you alright?
- Yeah.
- Those chunks of metal
- won't stop it.
- [Metal clinking]
[Rick] I think we should stick
this sack of shit to the ground
- and let her have 'em.
- Old Rick's got himself
- a good point, right, huh?
- Alright.
You all follow along that trail
until you come to a tree marked
with a no hunting sign.
I'll meet you there.
[Orrie] Where are you going?
Nowhere yet. I'm gonna stay here
and see that whatever that is
takes advantage of this trap.
Oh, a hero at work, I love it.
Job's open if you want it.
- No thanks, you can have it.
- Okay then, get moving.
- Be careful, ward.
- Don't worry,
she'll see just enough of me
to put her
right where we want her.
Oh, my god.
Would you look at this guy,
he can barely walk,
if we don't get rid of him,
we're never gonna get out
of here. I wanna go home.
Caroline, we all wanna go home.
Home, you'll have no home,
if it and their kind invade.
Wait a minute, you're... you're
saying we could be invaded here?
Not if we kill it
and the others will not follow.
- You could save your planet.
- You mean it's up to us?
Yes, yes.
[Kol gasping in pain]
[Metal clicking]
[Ward grunting]
[Leaves rustling]
[Harley] Come on,
right behind me.
- [Metal snapping]
- [Burt groaning]
Damn it, what in the hell
you boys doing out here?
Oh, well, our damn truck
broke down,
and we was hoofin' it home.
[Harley grunting and groaning]
Son a bitch.
Then we ran across doc burnside.
Burnside? Is he alright?
- Well, not exactly, no.
- How's your foot, Burt?
Well, to be perfectly truthful,
it could be better.
- Do you think you can walk?
- The question is can you run?
- Well, help me up.
- Here, have your rifle.
I mean, what in the hell is
going on around here, ward?
Look, there's no time
to talk about that right now.
All you got to worry about is
getting your butts
back to your place and
getting yourself barricaded in.
- Barricaded?
- From what?
Look, you just listen
to what I'm telling you,
you're gonna be alright.
Whatever in the hell
that is out there,
it's not after you, boys.
Well, look, I don't like running
away from something that I don't
even know what it was. I mean
doc burnside's laying back there
like a smoked ham. I don't care,
I ain't afraid of it...
Harley, look.
Let's get the hell outta here.
[Laser zapping]
The shit has hit the fan,
let's roll.
No.
-[Ward] Go. {Gunshofl
- [laser zapping]
- [Screaming]
[Gunshot]
- [Laser zapping]
- [Screaming]
[Gunshot]
Ward said to wait here.
[Laser zapping]
Listen, I said we're going.
Your lover boy
is burnt toast by now.
We've got to stick together.
The fate of the entire world
might depend
on our keeping our heads.
What are you, nuts?
- I don't wanna stay here either.
- I'm waiting for ward.
- Oh, so that's the way it is?
- Yes, that's the way it is.
And while I'm waiting,
I'm going to add
a little insurance
to the landscape.
[Kol] These punji sticks
may slow it down.
[Gun shooting]
[Metal clinking]
- [Laser zapping]
- [Explosion]
[Shooting continues]
- [Laser zapping continues]
- [Explosion]
[Explosions]
[Laser gun failing]
Come on, let's move out.
We set trap
of punji sticks for her.
May be that will slow her down.
What? No trophy?
I thought you'll at least
bring back her head.
No trophy, Rick.
- And she's not dead.
- Not even close. Let's go.
Hold it,
the cabin is just ahead.
- Yeah, then what?
- Look that... thing back there
isn't going anywhere
with punji sticks in its legs.
[Wood breaking]
[Knocking]
- [Colonel] Who the hell is it?
- It's ward Armstrong.
[Kol breathing heavily]
- What's up, ward?
- We've got big trouble, colonel.
- It will take some explaining.
- Come in and tell me about it,
you have to do your talking
by candlelight, the power's out.
- I got a few people with me.
- So I noticed, bring 'em on in.
- Okay, everybody, inside.
- Where did the kids come from?
- Let's talk about it inside.
- This should be interesting.
[Kol gasping for air]
You've got some
strange looking friends, ward.
[Beeping]
[Beeping]
Here you go, pass one around.
So you're from... didn't get
the name of your planet, son.
A penal colony, it had no name.
Alright, a prison planet,
no name, not even a number.
At least we give prisoners
numbers down here.
Colonel, I know this sounds
strange, but we don't have time
to discuss this right now.
That thing out there is gonna be
coming through your front door
the hard way any minute now.
Uh, this... female... alien,
you say, she's packing
some kind of a laser weapon?
Yeah, she blew the shit
outta Mr. Game warden's cabin.
[Colonel chuckles]
The ruskies have an operational
laser. Let the Vietnamese use it
in the border incident
with the Chinese as I recall.
Hey, look, colonel,
I know this is hard to swallow,
I can hardly believe it myself,
but hot damn it's the truth.
You believe it's the truth,
but it's common knowledge
that ufos, little green men
and space monsters are figments
of the imagination,
usually brought on by stress.
Fucking a we got stress, we're
stressed out to the Max here.
- We'll get our brains blown out!
- Your skating on thin ice, boy.
Let's stop playing macho
for a minute. The reality is
there is someone or something
out there trying to kill us.
[Orrie] What it is
or where it's from
doesn't really matter, does it?
This ought to make everyone
feel more comfortable.
I'm telling you we shot her
over and over again,
she just kept coming.
This is an ak-47.
I took it off an nva officer
after he'd sliced up an entire
squad, my squad. Ak will do
one hell of a job with the right
man behind the trigger.
But, colonel, she bleeds
yellow ooze.
Hell, just as long
as she bleeds.
It's a weatherby Magnum.
It'll drop a bull elephant
at 100 yards.
[Collar beeping]
[Kol gasping for air]
It's coming.
He says that collar
is some kind of tracking device,
- says it won't come off.
- It won't, huh?
[Cocking gun]
-No, colonel, don't. {Gunshofl
Close but no cigar.
Had that thing on a long time?
Well, let's put it
where it can do some good.
But first we need to put
a little bite in the bait.
You, grab a gun
and guard the back door.
Illegal as hell, but I wouldn't
be home without it.
Anti-personnel mine.
Nothing on this planet
or any other planet is gonna
walk away when this baby blows.
We were thinking, colonel,
there might be another way.
- Like what?
- Tell him, kol.
It's possible to interrupt
its energy systems.
You got an idea? Let's hear it.
A net.
- A net?
- A net made out of some form
of metal, when placed in contact
with it, it can short-circuit,
maybe even destroy it.
Hell, give it a try.
I got some Barb wire
and chicken mesh in the shed.
But my money is on this baby.
Commander, a word with you?
Game's over.
You win.
The hunter unit is continuing
to engage the native life
of the planet, but you know
how devastating the power is,
in its effort
to regain the prisoner
it's methodically destroying
- everything in its sight.
- Well, the chase is escalating?
Why is this taking so damn long?
[Chuckles] Well, maybe
the prisoner is meant to live.
Alright, let's go.
If she's still homing in
on that collar,
she'll walk into the biggest
surprise of her life.
Yeah, maybe.
[Colonel] I got that.
Give me that thing.
[Collar beeping]
- [Gun shooting]
- [Laser zapping]
Everybody down.
- We're in fort now.
- See, colonel, it's the war
of the worlds,
and we're on the front line.
[Colonel] Stay calm, son.
I know we're all gonna die.
We're gonna get of this,
Caroline, I know we are.
[Crying] No, we're not. She'll
catch us in this dirt hole,
and she's gonna kill all of us.
Listen, if you're quiet,
she might not know where we are.
Ward, there she is.
Some figment
of the imagination, colonel?
I'd like to get a closer look
at that. Come on, come on.
[Metal clinking]
- What the hell?
- Why didn't it go off?
Must be a goddamn dud.
[Speaking alien language]
- Listen.
- [Alien language]
- What's that gibberish?
- She's trying to communicate.
Don't listen to any of her shit.
Blast her.
- Shut up.
- [Alien language]
It's starting to sound
like English.
- It's very clear what it says.
- Well, spit it out.
I will let you go.
Come out, come out.
It orders you to lay down
your weapons and surrender.
It will let you go free,
if you turn me over to it.
- Sounds reasonable to me.
- [Caroline] Kol, please,
for our sake would you
goddamn give yourself up?
First rule, never surrender
your weapons. Second rule,
blow the hell outta your enemy
before they can do it to you.
[Collar beeping]
{gunshofl -[Explosions]
Huh! Got her.
Oh yeah, I've heard that before.
[Gun cocking]
Let us scrape her up
with a spoon.
Alright, back to your post
and keep your eyes open.
- What's your problem, geek?
- I can help you escape.
- Yeah, I don't need your help.
- We need each other.
Oh yeah, why is that?
The others will wait
until it's too late.
It will attack soon.
Hey, she's blown to shit.
Do you really believe that?
It's out there now.
Listen, if you know so much,
why do you need me?
I need someone to teach me
the ways of your world.
I can make you the richest man
on this planet.
Rich, huh?
Very.
Nah, I don't think so, bug face.
You are a walking target
and I don't want you
anywhere near me.
When I leave, I leave on my own.
So get out of my air space,
you're crowding me.
Go on, scram.
Get the fuck outta here.
[Kol grinning]
You know,
when I was a little kid...
I always wanted
to meet an alien.
I did.
I used to have a membership
to the science fiction
book club.
And I can remember I read...
Edgar rice burroughs
and John Carter of Mars series,
you know... and I'd sneak out
after dinner sometimes
of my bedroom window, you know,
and lay outside in the backyard
looking up at the stars...
And I would think to myself
how neat it would be to be
John Carter of Mars,
riding across the plains
on those big lizard things,
I'd have my bb gun,
wave my bb gun around.
John Carter always had a...
Faithful assistant, somebody
who was level-headed like you
and... he was always... he was
always going to rescue some
really beautiful girl, like you.
You know, I... never dreamed
it would be like this.
[Footsteps on roof]
She's on the fucking roof.
She's on the fucking roof.
Get away, you fucking bitch.
Why don't you kill us right now?
[Ward] Shh, shh, shh, shh...
Don't move, it's on the roof.
It can't be, nothing could've
lived through that blast.
Don't fire that, muzzle blast
might torch the roof.
- [Footsteps on roof]
- [Wood creaking]
[Gunshots]
- You got shit for brains, kid?
- Oh, my god, get out of here.
[Ward] Caroline!
[Ward] Caroline!
[Door closing]
Stay put, now I'm pissed.
[Gun cocking]
- See anything?
- Nothing. Where'd she go?
Oh, oh, guys,
don't shoot, don't shoot.
She's out in the front,
she's got Rick.
I'll go around the back.
[Rick gasping and retching]
- [Rick gasping for air]
- [Arrow hits]
[Laser zapping]
[Gun shooting]
[Metal clinking]
[Electric spark]
Yeah! Yes, yes!
[Benny] Look, colonel,
the net's created
a perpendicular magnetic pole.
It's siphoning off her electrons
in alignment
with the earth's axis.
It's over.
Yeah, until her friends
come looking for her.
Maybe we should cremate the body
just to be sure.
Burn up the only proof we have?
- I don't know about that.
- [Ward] Maybe you're right.
Oh, I wish I'd had one of these
babies back on pork chop hill.
I'd have fried me
some commie rice.
Well, let's get her
outta here anyway.
Yeah, we can put her
in my truck.
[Breathing heavily]
You should be compensated
for all your trouble and pain.
Fuck off, pal.
[Rick gasping for air]
Wow, how'd you do that?
I can teach you that
and more, much more.
- What's your angle, man?
- A simple exchange of skills.
I need to adapt to your planet.
We can be each other's teacher.
I don't run a nursery school
for space geeks, pal.
Go talk to NASA about that.
They'd love to squeeze you
under a microscope.
Exactly what I wanted to avoid.
[Rick gasping]
Come with me.
I hope she don't bleed
all over my damn truck.
Do you think it's alright
to leave her here?
She's not going anywhere.
I got the keys.
- Well, let's go.
- Rest in peace... soldier.
Stop.
So now what?
Time to die... a little.
What's that supposed to mean?
I thought I was gonna teach you
the ways of the planet.
You will.
Cut the crap,
what do you really want?
You.
- Here you go, ward.
- Thanks, honey.
I wonder where Rick
and k0! Went to.
Good question. Maybe we better
go and have a look, warden.
- Finished with the coffee?
- I guess so.
Where have you been?
Can't a guy take a leak
in private.
- Where's kol?
- How the hell should I know?
Oh, wait a minute.
I don't like being touched, man.
Something's wrong here.
Excuse me, sir,
this is a restricted area,
you're not allowed to be here.
I'm sorry, I guess
I lost my way. I...
Well, the master control room is
right through that door.
Thank you very much.
Oh, the sun's come up.
It's about time, it was
the longest night of my life.
All our lives.
[Glass breaking]
Orrie, go get me another beer.
I think you've had
enough to drink
for six in the morning, Rick.
I wanted to drink a toast
to Caroline...
To Caroline's
expert marksmanship,
mighty fine shooting,
little lady.
I can't argue with that.
And to ward and the colonel
for saving our lives.
- Hear, hear!
- Thank you.
I'm worried about kol.
I mean, I wonder where he is.
He's out getting worms
for breakfast, who cares?
I'll go get some gas
for the generator.
- Do you need some help?
- No, thanks. I'll handle it.
Rick, lay off.
What I had in mind,
a little lay.
I said leave me alone Rick,
I mean it. Let go.
- I said leave me alone.
- You know what I had in mind.
[Orrie] Let me go.
Back off, kid.
{gunshofl -[Groaning]
Rick!
[Gunshot]
Get inside.
- Rick, what's wrong with you?
- I've appropriated Rick's body.
He's a small grease spot
in the forest.
I'm kol. You are nothing.
[Gun clicking]
[Grunting]
What the hell is going on?
Preparing final
termination sequence.
Now let's do a positive ID
gene scan just for the record.
Don't want our delegate general
friend saying
we're not following
our own code.
It's kol alright,
his head anyway.
- That's strange.
- What?
Well, his gene pattern, it has
that same hook just like...
Identification positive.
[Alienator]
War criminal kol terminated.
Mission completed.
Kol, no, no, no, kol. Kol, no!
Permission requested
to return to planet.
Hey, what did kol do that you
traveled so far to kill him.
It was my directive.
Disintegrate him,
repeat, disintegrate him.
[Commander]
I want that man ashes.
Residue removed.
Hold it. That's it?
You... you're just leaving?
After all this, you're just
walking outta here?
What did she give you?
[Gasping]
You have more than a passing
interest in our prisoner.
Yes, I do.
Again you've shown
your strength...
But you are not
gonna win this game.
Now that you've shown
your true colors, who are you?
I come
from the steloid arcatron.
For millennia,
we were ruled over
by the tyrants of quadrant five.
Finally, when our day came,
we ambushed the enemy
on Alpha seven.
Along with thousands of innocent
students from our sector.
I couldn't be responsible
for those who got in our way.
Your people were murderers
we exiled for a good cause.
- [Commander] What do you want?
- I came to stop this execution.
I fooled your computers,
I disabled your apparatuses
- with skill, commander. Skill.
- A genetic mutant bastard.
It seems you failed,
the prisoner's dead.
In one way...
But not altogether.
You thought you killed
a prisoner? No, you're wrong.
You killed my only son!
- [Buzzing]
- [Screaming]
[Groaning]
We've all got
a lot of explaining to do.
Rick.
That poor bastard.
How are we gonna explain
what happened to him?
Nobody's ever gonna believe us.
[Sighing] Probably not.
Hell, I'm not sure
I believe it now.
[Spacecraft whizzing]
Do you think she'll be back?
That might not be all bad
under different circumstances.
She's one hell of a woman,
on any planet.
[Door slams]
You ready
for your big day, scum?
[Commander] Vaporization
is too good for you.
I'd a lot rather see you
kicking at the end of a rope,
or squirming and crawling around
dying real slow
in a gas chamber.
As a matter of fact,
after that ugly stunt
- you pulled on Alpha seven...
- [Door lock beep]
I'd give anything to kill you
myself. It's a lousy shame
half of our families
had to be present for that.
Commander.
Your visitor is in security.
Visitor?
A delegate general
from gamma 12.
He's not due until tomorrow.
[Head guard] Well, there's been
an official change.
- Problems?
- Don't ever talk to me, scum.
[Groaning]
[Sighs]
What the hell is going on here?
How come I wasn't notified?
Commander, I'm sorry I meant
to tell you. It's... just I got
- distracted with...
- It was a direct order, sir,
priority blue.
Uh, the delegate general
had a scheduling conflict.
He's here only to observe.
When I want your interpretation,
Tara, I'll ask for it.
I'm sorry, commander.
I only meant...
And Tara, have your boyfriend
let you get some sleep,
you're looking a little...
Burnt.
No executions for six months.
Today of all days, I've got
public relations to deal with.
[Prison sergeant]
How is his genes scan?
Checks out, a-okay.
Wow. Look at that hook pattern.
Never saw that before.
He's from gamma 12. They had
a mass gene splicing there
a couple hundred years ago,
could be residual effect.
My name is lund.
I'm here to observe and
make a few suggestions so...
Just carry on
and forget I exist.
- Prepare the first execution.
- That'll be prisoner 485.
Do it.
And bring in kol,
put him in the holding cell.
I want him to see
what's in store for him.
[Door slams]
- [Button beeps]
- [Door slams]
[Groaning]
What are those
green buttons there?
Uh, well this one
regulates the vapor quantifier
and this one engages
the destruct mechanism,
provided the safety is off.
Mm. So you hold the power
of life or death
in those pretty little hands.
I don't get
any particular thrill
- in pulling the switch.
- No?
Then why don't you try
not pulling the switch?
Make a stand
for the sanctity of human life,
- make a difference, be daring.
- Then I wouldn't have a job,
and besides, it's not up to me.
She's right, lund.
This is the last stop.
Prisoners here have
exhausted all their appeals.
They've had their day in court.
This is the toilet of the
interplanetary penal system.
Our job is just to flush 'em.
First prisoner is approaching
the chamber now.
Here are the files
on the first two, commander.
Let him have a look.
See what kind of scum
we're about to neutralize.
- Prisoner 485 in position.
- All clear.
You realize this prisoner leaves
children behind?
[Lund] What you're doing here
is inhuman.
He's inhuman.
His kind should've never been
allowed to breed.
On my planet,
even the most vicious criminals
are allowed life. We believe
in dynamic rehabilitation.
Executions such as these
are barbaric.
That's right. Erase him.
What is it?
You got the all clear!
I don't know. I've checked
all the circuits, I...
- Safety's engaged.
- Get up, I'll do it.
Very hard on her.
We have a serious mandate here.
There's no room for sloppiness.
All clear.
Take a good look, kol.
[Commander] This is how
we 're gonna turn you inside out.
[Chuckles] Hey, kol. I'm keeping
this seat warm for you.
[Laser beaming]
Looks like electrical damage.
There's no response
from the guards.
It's a break.
[Man on speaker]
Secure all areas.
[Groaning]
You guys follow me. I'm gonna do
this guy the big favor myself.
[Man on speaker]
Secure all areas. Alert! Alert!
[Man on speaker]
Secure all areas. Alert! Alert!
[Man on speaker]
Secure all areas. Alert! Alert!
[Screaming]
Hurry, cut him off
on level five.
- Level five sealed.
- More activity on three c.
- This triple-o-c kol?
- You know him?
Only from his file,
interesting man.
- [Gun cocking]
- He's a scum.
[Screaming]
Someone's broken
into the airlock.
He gets out of the station,
we've lost him.
- He's gone.
- I don't believe
- I let him get away.
- It's not you're doing though.
If my staff malfunctions,
I'm to blame.
- I'm not done yet though.
- Meaning?
- Call out the hunter unit.
- Alright.
[Heavy breathing]
[Gasping]
[Heavy breathing]
[Beeping]
Earth, earth.
Don't you think you've had
enough to drink, Rick?
I drive better
on a couple of brews.
[Yawning]
Hey, Rick, how much further
we've got to go?
Half hour I guess, maybe more.
We'd be there by now
if it wasn't for this damn road.
Do you want me to drive
for a while?
- I'll yell if I need you.
- Okay.
Oh, Rick, look what I did!
You made me smear my lipstick.
How can you tell?
- [Orrie gasps]
- [Fireball shooting]
What was that?
I don't know.
It must've been a meteor.
Hey, why don't we stop and take
a little rest, stretch our legs,
and maybe we can find something.
I don't stop till I get
where I'm going, jeez.
[Footsteps]
[Heavy breathing]
[Heavy breathing]
Rick slow down please.
You have been in my Porsche
on the Ortega highway, come on.
Porsche, and this isn't
the Ortega highway.
Come one, trust me.
I know what I'm doing.
[Heavy breathing and groaning]
[Footsteps on dry leaves]
[Groaning]
- [Orrie] Slow down please.
- Shit.
[Orrie] Oh god!
- You've hit someone.
- Tell me about it.
- What happened?
- Damn.
- Rick hit someone.
- Oh, great driving, Mario.
- Damn!
- Come on.
Oh, my god. Is he dead?
Oh, Jesus, Karen, what are you
trying to do, finish him off?
What's this shit
all over his face?
Is he a wine-o or something?
Well, it certainly be fortunate
for us if he was.
We gotta get help for him.
Listen, it wasn't my fault.
He just like... bolted out
- in front of me.
- Rick, calm down, okay?
My dad's a lawyer.
I'm sure he'll help you out.
- I don't need a lawyer.
- Rick...
- This weirdo...
- Nobody's blaming you.
Now come on,
let's get him inside.
Look, where are we going
to take him?
There's a ranger station
near the camp grounds.
I don't hear his heart.
- [Kol gasping]
- [Benny screaming]
[Groaning]
[Owl hooting]
[Harley] Damn!
Jesus.
I'm sorry, Harley. I...
I guess I'm just a bitjumpy.
Well, we'll put that on the list
along with stupid!
[Cans clanking]
Hey, what the hell
are you doing now, Burt?
Cans, for target practice,
Harley.
[Chuckling]
You know we don't have time
for this kind of shit.
- Put the god damn cans down.
- Oh, come on, Harley.
Look, now you are hungry,
and what's more, I'm hungry
so get up off your ass
and let's find something
so we can both eat.
- Okay?
- Okay, Harley, okay.
Now go on and get your ass
down the path.
- God damn, Harley, you got it.
- Oh, be quiet, will you?
You'll get the warden
on our ass.
- Look at it.
- [Ward] You got that right.
[Harley giggling]
Put the trap down.
Don't ever mess
with another man's trap, Burt.
[Harley]
Well, how are you doing, ward?
We just heard the poor
whimpering cries
of this little thing and being
the good samaritans we are,
we decided to... well, you know,
- come to its rescue.
- Is that what happened, Burt?
Well, you know how it is, ward.
[Ward] How many times am I
gonna have to write you two up?
One more citation and you're
both going to the work farm.
Oh... ward, you wouldn't wanna
do that, would you?
Look, I know you fellows
gotta eat, but stealing my traps
and these animals
is against the law,
state law and my law.
You know, how come it is that
you get to get all the animals
you want and we can't, you know,
I don't... that just don't seem
- fair at all to me.
- Harley, you know this section
of the forest is a game
preserve, that means no hunting.
[Ward] Now, I catch 'em,
I tag 'em and let 'em go.
You stick to your part
of the forest, you can trap
all the rabbits you want.
But you just stay
out of my neighborhood.
But all the good animals
come over here.
- That's right.
- They just look at our traps
and come over to your neck
of the woods.
I've seen your traps. Since when
does it take a bear trap
to catch a rabbit?
Oh now, wait a minute, ward.
You don't know
what might show up around here.
You know,
we've been here a lot longer
before you ever dropped in here
and I wanna tell you something,
there was bears here,
and cougars and maybe even
- a big foot or two.
- [Ward] You all just turn around
and get yourselves right on
outta here. Go on,
- pick up your stuff and get.
- Now alright.
Okay, little fella,
we'll take care of you.
[Owl hooting]
- [Engine running]
- [Rv honking]
[Orrie] Come on,
it should be right down there.
[Benny] This guy's got
a first aid kit?
[Caroline] Come on.
[Orrie]
Maybe there's a doctor here.
[Door closing]
[Indistinct chatter]
- [Orrie] No, don't say anything.
- Calm down, calm down,
- one at a time.
- This guy just jumped out
in front of me. I clipped him.
He's hurt bad.
- Where is he?
- [Rick] He's in the rv.
- We better have a look.
- He jumped out in front of me.
Nobody could've stopped
in time, nobody,
- and I've got witnesses.
- Just take it easy, young man.
[Ward] How long ago
did this happen?
- Fifteen, 20 minutes.
- He's weird looking, isn't he?
I mean...
I mean he's some kind of wacko.
Yeah. Help me get him
into the cabin.
Here, put this
on his head wound for now.
- Hey, you calling the police?
- I am the police around here.
[Telephone ringing]
- Yeah.
- [Ward] Hello, doc burnside.
Doc this is ward Armstrong
up here at station one.
Ward, it's a little late
to be calling, huh?
[Ward] Well I... I'm sorry
to bother you, doc, but...
We've got a badly injured
fella up here,
got himself tangled up
with an rv
- uh, how serious is it?
- [Ward] Well, he's...
Breathing shallow,
he's lost a lot of blood
or bodily fluids or something.
What, what are you
talking about?
[Ward] Uh... nothing, uh...
How long will it take you
to get up here?
Probably... half an hour or so.
Listen, you... you just keep him
warm and comfortable
and keep his legs elevated
until I get there, hmm?
- Okay, doc, thanks.
- Alright.
[Exhales]
[Sighs]
[Takes a deep breath]
So what's the story?
Can... can we go now?
Just take it easy.
I need to file a report on this,
I'll need to run your license
with the LAPD computer.
Look, I'm no criminal,
I'm a pre-law student
and I know my rights.
Like I said if you check out and
there's no outstanding warrants,
you'll be outta here in an hour.
No problem.
- Is this decaf?
- Nope.
Oh, thank you, god.
I need a serious caffeine fix.
- Anybody else?
- I'll take a cup, please.
- [Collar beeping]
- [Orrie screaming]
[Glass breaking]
[Gasping]
Death spasm.
Saw it once in a movie.
All the muscles kind of contract
and bang. They sit up
- on the morgue table.
- Shut up, Benny.
I can't feel any pulse.
I bet the bastard doesn't
even have insurance.
He's not gonna need it now.
[Collar beeping]
Look at those eyes. It looks
like he's whacked out on pcp.
You've been in an accident.
Do you have any family?
Any friends? Someone
you want us to contact?
- [Panting] It's coming.
- What's coming?
[Breathing heavily] Death!
- What is your name?
- Kol.
Kol? How do you spell that?
And what kind of accent is that?
Are you French?
Isn't that interesting?
When he speaks,
it... it looks kind of like
a kung fu movie.
I... come from another world.
I was... captured by... beings.
They were going to torture
and kill me. I had no choice.
I... fled their planet
and landed here.
Who's they"?
They will track me down
and kill me...
Kill you, all of you.
[Spacecraft whizzing]
[Women screaming]
[Spacecraft shutting down]
According to this,
the pursuit craft has landed.
Coordinates?
Very close
to the crashed shuttle.
If the prisoner's still alive,
the hunter unit will find him.
He's still alive.
His kind always survives.
- Better tell the commander.
- Just do your job.
I don't understand it,
I released the safety,
- I know I did.
- You thought you did.
I did.
You were probably day dreaming.
I wasn't.
I may not be
the most objective person.
I don't think it was
too objective of you
when you dumped me for that e.M.
Please don't.
It's your career
you're throwing away.
You can't order me
to love you, commander.
Ican1?
[Chuckling] Well, a curious way
to keep the troops on toe,
commander.
Well, don't stop on my account.
Looks like fun.
Go to your quarters.
Rather highly decorated
for a degenerate.
You've got a lot of balls even
for a delegate general.
Heard of the primitive custom
here? It's called knock first.
Well...
Another one of your toys?
As a matter of fact, it is. It's
a test for strength and skill.
- Perhaps you'd like to play.
- Perhaps I would.
[Knocking]
Come in. That's an example
of a proper way of doing it.
Excuse me, commander,
the recovery ship has landed,
mobile unit's taking a pursuit
on land.
Is the tracking device
still intact?
So far, the prisoner
has been unable to remove it.
As long as that collar
remains functional,
the unit should've no trouble
in finding him, eliminating him.
And if the unit meets
with life forms, what then?
I don't care if it blows
a whole planet apart.
I want that prisoner dead
at any cost.
Forget to pay your utility bill?
I think the generator is blown.
It's here. It's taken control
of your power systems.
- This guy is a nutcase.
- Please, Rick, he's trying
- to tell us something.
- [Benny] Where are you from?
My home... no longer exists.
They destroyed it.
[Laughing] What a crock!
This bozo's not
from outer space.
He's just some nutcase
from a loony bin.
Maybe he's telling the truth.
Maybe he really is
from another world.
Now you're just talking
as flakey as the brainiac here.
[Car approaching]
[Engine failing]
[Starter grinding]
[Engine cranking]
[Footsteps on leaves]
[Starter grinding]
[Owl hooting]
[Whispering] Oh, shit.
What the hell.
Look I... I'm the... the doctor,
they sent for me.
[Laser shooting]
[Screaming]
It's here.
[Groaning in pain]
- [Collar beeping]
- [Screaming in pain]
[Screaming]
[Fire crackling]
Phone's dead.
It's here now. That's why
your machines will not work.
What are you
talking about, buddy?
It'll kill me. Anyone who stands
in its way will be destroyed.
Blow it outta your ass,
goof ball.
What the hell is going on here?
I'll go outside and see if I can
get the generator working.
I'm going with you.
[Clearing her throat]
So, kol... do you, uh, know et?
[Heavy breathing]
[Owl hooting]
- What's the problem?
- [Ward] Ah, not the carb,
it's getting gas.
Damn thing is busted.
- Let me try.
- I said it's busted, son.
[Dialing police radio]
Nothing.
[Continues to dial]
Damn.
- What the fuck's going on here?
- Damned if I know.
[Harley] What the hell
did you do with the truck, Burt?
You saw me start it.
I didn't do shit.
Damn thing just died.
Oh, how old
was that battery anyhow?
Brand new. I just stole
the damn thing yesterday.
[Laughing]
- What the hell?
- Well, screw this walking crap.
[Shouting] Thank you, thank you.
[Chuckles]
- You ain't gonna steal a car?
- Oh, we ain't stealing it,
it's probably abandoned.
Let's just hope
they abandoned the key too.
Hey, I don't know
if I wanna steal a car.
Well then you can just walk.
My feet hurt so adios, amigo.
This looks like
doc burnside's car. You know,
- he wouldn't mind if we used it.
- Harley, Harley.
Yeah, just a minute,
just a minute.
Harley... what is that?
Oh, my god.
You don't think
it's doc burnside, do you?
He don't look to well.
Huh, well done is more like it.
Don't touch it.
Don't do that.
Come on, the keys
ain't in the car. Let's go.
- You want some drugs, Burt?
- Not if they are the kind
- he's been taking.
- Oh god!
In my opinion,
he's a real McCoy,
a genuine visitor
from another planet.
Think about it. We are taking
part in man's greatest
historical encounter here. We'll
go down in the history books.
Outstanding, really outstanding.
Now let's just say
this goofus here
is who he claims to be,
some refugee from planet x
being chased half way
across the universe by some
cosmic killer? [Chuckles]
You must be some bad dude.
Hey. You a bad dude?
What did you do to get your ass
in such a sling?
You don't look so bad
down the barrel of this gun.
Hey why did you do that?
Didn't anybody ever teach you
not to play with firearms?
Yeah, you're gonna need
all the help you can get
- when that monster gets here.
- Monster?
Take it easy,
there isn't any monster.
Oh, yeah, right, like it's just
coincidence the power's out,
that the phone won't work,
that the cars won't start,
- who are you kidding?
- This is a very advanced being.
He probably sucks
electricity up like a sponge.
Maybe he can suck the electrons
of our thoughts
- right out of our brains.
- Knock it off, jerk.
What are you worried about?
Your brain's already drained.
His race probably thinks of us
the same way
we do of white lab rats.
You know, as something
to pump full of cigarettes
- and diet soda.
- Hey, that's enough, Benny.
Oh, come on,
I was just theorizing.
[Car honking]
[Collar beeping]
It's here. It's outside.
[Car honking]
[Beeping]
[Gun cocking]
Stay inside here, all of you.
Wait, I wanna go with you.
[Car honking]
I thought I told you
to stay inside.
Awesome.
What do you want?
I'm not staying trapped
in here with this guy?
It might be dangerous outside.
Make a move and you're history.
What the hell...
You really are from...
Back off, fucker.
Kill it. It's your only chance.
It doesn't look
like a monster to me.
Don't go any nearer.
Let me try to talk to it.
You see that weapon it carries?
It can easily incinerate
this building.
You will burn slowly
from the inside out.
- No way.
- I'm telling you the truth.
I don't want to die. Do you?
- But...
- Oh, don't be afraid.
You can do it. Use your weapon
now before it's too late.
[Gunshot]
- What the... stop shooting.
- [Rick] I got it.
Stop shooting.
Go back to the cabin.
I think we should go with him.
[Laser zapping]
[Explosion]
- What the hell are you doing?
- Great fucking shooting...
She was gonna blast you guys!
Save it,
we are going out the back.
[Caroline] Jesus Christ,
what the hell is happening?
[Ward] Keep moving,
keep moving, hurry up,
keep moving, come on, come on.
[Laser zapping]
Run!
- Which fucking way?
- Straight ahead,
- there's another cabin up there.
- We almost got our asses dusted
trying to hide in that cabin.
That space bitch just got
something against wood.
Get the picture?
She wants to kill us
because you had to play Rambo,
- you muscle head.
- Kill each other now,
it'll be easier for you all
and far less painful.
Come on, let's move, move.
[Laser zapping]
Well, what do you see?
Well, it looks like
ward's cabin alright.
What the hell is he doing?
[Laser zapping]
Well, he ain't doing nothing.
Looks like
he left his lights on.
[Whirring]
What was that?
I don't know.
You better come on down here.
- Is that what we are hunting?
- More likely what's hunting us.
What'd we do to it?
What did the little old rabbit
ever do to us?
Well, one bit me once.
Point that thing
in another direction,
you ignorant hillbilly.
I swear to god if you weren't
my brother, I'd put you out
- of my misery.
- Oh, now you wouldn't do that,
would you, Harley?
No, I promised mama
I'd take care of you.
[Footsteps approaching]
- There's a shortcut over here.
- Wait, stay on the path.
- [Orrie] Rick! No.
- Wait here. I'll go after him.
I warned you to stay
on the main trail.
[Trap snapping]
[Metal clinking]
What asshole put that there?
Poachers have traps
all over this area.
Well, that goddamn thing
could've torn my leg off.
Did anybody ever tell you that
you've got an attitude problem?
All the time.
They're coming.
Rick are you alright?
- Yeah.
- Those chunks of metal
- won't stop it.
- [Metal clinking]
[Rick] I think we should stick
this sack of shit to the ground
- and let her have 'em.
- Old Rick's got himself
- a good point, right, huh?
- Alright.
You all follow along that trail
until you come to a tree marked
with a no hunting sign.
I'll meet you there.
[Orrie] Where are you going?
Nowhere yet. I'm gonna stay here
and see that whatever that is
takes advantage of this trap.
Oh, a hero at work, I love it.
Job's open if you want it.
- No thanks, you can have it.
- Okay then, get moving.
- Be careful, ward.
- Don't worry,
she'll see just enough of me
to put her
right where we want her.
Oh, my god.
Would you look at this guy,
he can barely walk,
if we don't get rid of him,
we're never gonna get out
of here. I wanna go home.
Caroline, we all wanna go home.
Home, you'll have no home,
if it and their kind invade.
Wait a minute, you're... you're
saying we could be invaded here?
Not if we kill it
and the others will not follow.
- You could save your planet.
- You mean it's up to us?
Yes, yes.
[Kol gasping in pain]
[Metal clicking]
[Ward grunting]
[Leaves rustling]
[Harley] Come on,
right behind me.
- [Metal snapping]
- [Burt groaning]
Damn it, what in the hell
you boys doing out here?
Oh, well, our damn truck
broke down,
and we was hoofin' it home.
[Harley grunting and groaning]
Son a bitch.
Then we ran across doc burnside.
Burnside? Is he alright?
- Well, not exactly, no.
- How's your foot, Burt?
Well, to be perfectly truthful,
it could be better.
- Do you think you can walk?
- The question is can you run?
- Well, help me up.
- Here, have your rifle.
I mean, what in the hell is
going on around here, ward?
Look, there's no time
to talk about that right now.
All you got to worry about is
getting your butts
back to your place and
getting yourself barricaded in.
- Barricaded?
- From what?
Look, you just listen
to what I'm telling you,
you're gonna be alright.
Whatever in the hell
that is out there,
it's not after you, boys.
Well, look, I don't like running
away from something that I don't
even know what it was. I mean
doc burnside's laying back there
like a smoked ham. I don't care,
I ain't afraid of it...
Harley, look.
Let's get the hell outta here.
[Laser zapping]
The shit has hit the fan,
let's roll.
No.
-[Ward] Go. {Gunshofl
- [laser zapping]
- [Screaming]
[Gunshot]
- [Laser zapping]
- [Screaming]
[Gunshot]
Ward said to wait here.
[Laser zapping]
Listen, I said we're going.
Your lover boy
is burnt toast by now.
We've got to stick together.
The fate of the entire world
might depend
on our keeping our heads.
What are you, nuts?
- I don't wanna stay here either.
- I'm waiting for ward.
- Oh, so that's the way it is?
- Yes, that's the way it is.
And while I'm waiting,
I'm going to add
a little insurance
to the landscape.
[Kol] These punji sticks
may slow it down.
[Gun shooting]
[Metal clinking]
- [Laser zapping]
- [Explosion]
[Shooting continues]
- [Laser zapping continues]
- [Explosion]
[Explosions]
[Laser gun failing]
Come on, let's move out.
We set trap
of punji sticks for her.
May be that will slow her down.
What? No trophy?
I thought you'll at least
bring back her head.
No trophy, Rick.
- And she's not dead.
- Not even close. Let's go.
Hold it,
the cabin is just ahead.
- Yeah, then what?
- Look that... thing back there
isn't going anywhere
with punji sticks in its legs.
[Wood breaking]
[Knocking]
- [Colonel] Who the hell is it?
- It's ward Armstrong.
[Kol breathing heavily]
- What's up, ward?
- We've got big trouble, colonel.
- It will take some explaining.
- Come in and tell me about it,
you have to do your talking
by candlelight, the power's out.
- I got a few people with me.
- So I noticed, bring 'em on in.
- Okay, everybody, inside.
- Where did the kids come from?
- Let's talk about it inside.
- This should be interesting.
[Kol gasping for air]
You've got some
strange looking friends, ward.
[Beeping]
[Beeping]
Here you go, pass one around.
So you're from... didn't get
the name of your planet, son.
A penal colony, it had no name.
Alright, a prison planet,
no name, not even a number.
At least we give prisoners
numbers down here.
Colonel, I know this sounds
strange, but we don't have time
to discuss this right now.
That thing out there is gonna be
coming through your front door
the hard way any minute now.
Uh, this... female... alien,
you say, she's packing
some kind of a laser weapon?
Yeah, she blew the shit
outta Mr. Game warden's cabin.
[Colonel chuckles]
The ruskies have an operational
laser. Let the Vietnamese use it
in the border incident
with the Chinese as I recall.
Hey, look, colonel,
I know this is hard to swallow,
I can hardly believe it myself,
but hot damn it's the truth.
You believe it's the truth,
but it's common knowledge
that ufos, little green men
and space monsters are figments
of the imagination,
usually brought on by stress.
Fucking a we got stress, we're
stressed out to the Max here.
- We'll get our brains blown out!
- Your skating on thin ice, boy.
Let's stop playing macho
for a minute. The reality is
there is someone or something
out there trying to kill us.
[Orrie] What it is
or where it's from
doesn't really matter, does it?
This ought to make everyone
feel more comfortable.
I'm telling you we shot her
over and over again,
she just kept coming.
This is an ak-47.
I took it off an nva officer
after he'd sliced up an entire
squad, my squad. Ak will do
one hell of a job with the right
man behind the trigger.
But, colonel, she bleeds
yellow ooze.
Hell, just as long
as she bleeds.
It's a weatherby Magnum.
It'll drop a bull elephant
at 100 yards.
[Collar beeping]
[Kol gasping for air]
It's coming.
He says that collar
is some kind of tracking device,
- says it won't come off.
- It won't, huh?
[Cocking gun]
-No, colonel, don't. {Gunshofl
Close but no cigar.
Had that thing on a long time?
Well, let's put it
where it can do some good.
But first we need to put
a little bite in the bait.
You, grab a gun
and guard the back door.
Illegal as hell, but I wouldn't
be home without it.
Anti-personnel mine.
Nothing on this planet
or any other planet is gonna
walk away when this baby blows.
We were thinking, colonel,
there might be another way.
- Like what?
- Tell him, kol.
It's possible to interrupt
its energy systems.
You got an idea? Let's hear it.
A net.
- A net?
- A net made out of some form
of metal, when placed in contact
with it, it can short-circuit,
maybe even destroy it.
Hell, give it a try.
I got some Barb wire
and chicken mesh in the shed.
But my money is on this baby.
Commander, a word with you?
Game's over.
You win.
The hunter unit is continuing
to engage the native life
of the planet, but you know
how devastating the power is,
in its effort
to regain the prisoner
it's methodically destroying
- everything in its sight.
- Well, the chase is escalating?
Why is this taking so damn long?
[Chuckles] Well, maybe
the prisoner is meant to live.
Alright, let's go.
If she's still homing in
on that collar,
she'll walk into the biggest
surprise of her life.
Yeah, maybe.
[Colonel] I got that.
Give me that thing.
[Collar beeping]
- [Gun shooting]
- [Laser zapping]
Everybody down.
- We're in fort now.
- See, colonel, it's the war
of the worlds,
and we're on the front line.
[Colonel] Stay calm, son.
I know we're all gonna die.
We're gonna get of this,
Caroline, I know we are.
[Crying] No, we're not. She'll
catch us in this dirt hole,
and she's gonna kill all of us.
Listen, if you're quiet,
she might not know where we are.
Ward, there she is.
Some figment
of the imagination, colonel?
I'd like to get a closer look
at that. Come on, come on.
[Metal clinking]
- What the hell?
- Why didn't it go off?
Must be a goddamn dud.
[Speaking alien language]
- Listen.
- [Alien language]
- What's that gibberish?
- She's trying to communicate.
Don't listen to any of her shit.
Blast her.
- Shut up.
- [Alien language]
It's starting to sound
like English.
- It's very clear what it says.
- Well, spit it out.
I will let you go.
Come out, come out.
It orders you to lay down
your weapons and surrender.
It will let you go free,
if you turn me over to it.
- Sounds reasonable to me.
- [Caroline] Kol, please,
for our sake would you
goddamn give yourself up?
First rule, never surrender
your weapons. Second rule,
blow the hell outta your enemy
before they can do it to you.
[Collar beeping]
{gunshofl -[Explosions]
Huh! Got her.
Oh yeah, I've heard that before.
[Gun cocking]
Let us scrape her up
with a spoon.
Alright, back to your post
and keep your eyes open.
- What's your problem, geek?
- I can help you escape.
- Yeah, I don't need your help.
- We need each other.
Oh yeah, why is that?
The others will wait
until it's too late.
It will attack soon.
Hey, she's blown to shit.
Do you really believe that?
It's out there now.
Listen, if you know so much,
why do you need me?
I need someone to teach me
the ways of your world.
I can make you the richest man
on this planet.
Rich, huh?
Very.
Nah, I don't think so, bug face.
You are a walking target
and I don't want you
anywhere near me.
When I leave, I leave on my own.
So get out of my air space,
you're crowding me.
Go on, scram.
Get the fuck outta here.
[Kol grinning]
You know,
when I was a little kid...
I always wanted
to meet an alien.
I did.
I used to have a membership
to the science fiction
book club.
And I can remember I read...
Edgar rice burroughs
and John Carter of Mars series,
you know... and I'd sneak out
after dinner sometimes
of my bedroom window, you know,
and lay outside in the backyard
looking up at the stars...
And I would think to myself
how neat it would be to be
John Carter of Mars,
riding across the plains
on those big lizard things,
I'd have my bb gun,
wave my bb gun around.
John Carter always had a...
Faithful assistant, somebody
who was level-headed like you
and... he was always... he was
always going to rescue some
really beautiful girl, like you.
You know, I... never dreamed
it would be like this.
[Footsteps on roof]
She's on the fucking roof.
She's on the fucking roof.
Get away, you fucking bitch.
Why don't you kill us right now?
[Ward] Shh, shh, shh, shh...
Don't move, it's on the roof.
It can't be, nothing could've
lived through that blast.
Don't fire that, muzzle blast
might torch the roof.
- [Footsteps on roof]
- [Wood creaking]
[Gunshots]
- You got shit for brains, kid?
- Oh, my god, get out of here.
[Ward] Caroline!
[Ward] Caroline!
[Door closing]
Stay put, now I'm pissed.
[Gun cocking]
- See anything?
- Nothing. Where'd she go?
Oh, oh, guys,
don't shoot, don't shoot.
She's out in the front,
she's got Rick.
I'll go around the back.
[Rick gasping and retching]
- [Rick gasping for air]
- [Arrow hits]
[Laser zapping]
[Gun shooting]
[Metal clinking]
[Electric spark]
Yeah! Yes, yes!
[Benny] Look, colonel,
the net's created
a perpendicular magnetic pole.
It's siphoning off her electrons
in alignment
with the earth's axis.
It's over.
Yeah, until her friends
come looking for her.
Maybe we should cremate the body
just to be sure.
Burn up the only proof we have?
- I don't know about that.
- [Ward] Maybe you're right.
Oh, I wish I'd had one of these
babies back on pork chop hill.
I'd have fried me
some commie rice.
Well, let's get her
outta here anyway.
Yeah, we can put her
in my truck.
[Breathing heavily]
You should be compensated
for all your trouble and pain.
Fuck off, pal.
[Rick gasping for air]
Wow, how'd you do that?
I can teach you that
and more, much more.
- What's your angle, man?
- A simple exchange of skills.
I need to adapt to your planet.
We can be each other's teacher.
I don't run a nursery school
for space geeks, pal.
Go talk to NASA about that.
They'd love to squeeze you
under a microscope.
Exactly what I wanted to avoid.
[Rick gasping]
Come with me.
I hope she don't bleed
all over my damn truck.
Do you think it's alright
to leave her here?
She's not going anywhere.
I got the keys.
- Well, let's go.
- Rest in peace... soldier.
Stop.
So now what?
Time to die... a little.
What's that supposed to mean?
I thought I was gonna teach you
the ways of the planet.
You will.
Cut the crap,
what do you really want?
You.
- Here you go, ward.
- Thanks, honey.
I wonder where Rick
and k0! Went to.
Good question. Maybe we better
go and have a look, warden.
- Finished with the coffee?
- I guess so.
Where have you been?
Can't a guy take a leak
in private.
- Where's kol?
- How the hell should I know?
Oh, wait a minute.
I don't like being touched, man.
Something's wrong here.
Excuse me, sir,
this is a restricted area,
you're not allowed to be here.
I'm sorry, I guess
I lost my way. I...
Well, the master control room is
right through that door.
Thank you very much.
Oh, the sun's come up.
It's about time, it was
the longest night of my life.
All our lives.
[Glass breaking]
Orrie, go get me another beer.
I think you've had
enough to drink
for six in the morning, Rick.
I wanted to drink a toast
to Caroline...
To Caroline's
expert marksmanship,
mighty fine shooting,
little lady.
I can't argue with that.
And to ward and the colonel
for saving our lives.
- Hear, hear!
- Thank you.
I'm worried about kol.
I mean, I wonder where he is.
He's out getting worms
for breakfast, who cares?
I'll go get some gas
for the generator.
- Do you need some help?
- No, thanks. I'll handle it.
Rick, lay off.
What I had in mind,
a little lay.
I said leave me alone Rick,
I mean it. Let go.
- I said leave me alone.
- You know what I had in mind.
[Orrie] Let me go.
Back off, kid.
{gunshofl -[Groaning]
Rick!
[Gunshot]
Get inside.
- Rick, what's wrong with you?
- I've appropriated Rick's body.
He's a small grease spot
in the forest.
I'm kol. You are nothing.
[Gun clicking]
[Grunting]
What the hell is going on?
Preparing final
termination sequence.
Now let's do a positive ID
gene scan just for the record.
Don't want our delegate general
friend saying
we're not following
our own code.
It's kol alright,
his head anyway.
- That's strange.
- What?
Well, his gene pattern, it has
that same hook just like...
Identification positive.
[Alienator]
War criminal kol terminated.
Mission completed.
Kol, no, no, no, kol. Kol, no!
Permission requested
to return to planet.
Hey, what did kol do that you
traveled so far to kill him.
It was my directive.
Disintegrate him,
repeat, disintegrate him.
[Commander]
I want that man ashes.
Residue removed.
Hold it. That's it?
You... you're just leaving?
After all this, you're just
walking outta here?
What did she give you?
[Gasping]
You have more than a passing
interest in our prisoner.
Yes, I do.
Again you've shown
your strength...
But you are not
gonna win this game.
Now that you've shown
your true colors, who are you?
I come
from the steloid arcatron.
For millennia,
we were ruled over
by the tyrants of quadrant five.
Finally, when our day came,
we ambushed the enemy
on Alpha seven.
Along with thousands of innocent
students from our sector.
I couldn't be responsible
for those who got in our way.
Your people were murderers
we exiled for a good cause.
- [Commander] What do you want?
- I came to stop this execution.
I fooled your computers,
I disabled your apparatuses
- with skill, commander. Skill.
- A genetic mutant bastard.
It seems you failed,
the prisoner's dead.
In one way...
But not altogether.
You thought you killed
a prisoner? No, you're wrong.
You killed my only son!
- [Buzzing]
- [Screaming]
[Groaning]
We've all got
a lot of explaining to do.
Rick.
That poor bastard.
How are we gonna explain
what happened to him?
Nobody's ever gonna believe us.
[Sighing] Probably not.
Hell, I'm not sure
I believe it now.
[Spacecraft whizzing]
Do you think she'll be back?
That might not be all bad
under different circumstances.
She's one hell of a woman,
on any planet.