And Now a Word from Our Sponsor (2012) Movie Script

- Let's get Mikey.
- Yeah.
- He won't eat it.
He hates everything.
He liked it!
Hey, Mikey!
- Hello, ladies.
Look at your man.
Now back to me. Now back
at your man. Now back to me.
Sadly, he isn't me.
But if he stopped using
lady's scented body wash
and switched to Old Spice,
he could smell like he's me.
- Seriously, four feet
by five feet. Well,
apparently not, because I'm
looking right at it.
- It is the manager.
- Where's the beef?!
Turn left.
Swan dive into the best night
of your life.
Excuse me. I think you're
the father of one of my kids.
No... Oh.
Cancun. Spring Break '99.
- What? - No?
- No. - Oh.
- Oops!
Yes! Six more tables pledged!
With the matching funds,
that puts us at 1.3 million.
We'll be able to finance
the new cancer research centre.
Oh, I understand. Yeah, um,
I'll talk to you later.
Thank you. Bye.
Ah. Must be a busy morning
for you to greet me
without my coffee, Ben.
Actually, yeah, we're doing pretty well...
just want to get ahead of the day.
The Jackson account closed
last night. - Great.
Your lunch meeting's still good to go, as is
the conference call with the board at 3pm.
- OK. - The auction dinner planning
meeting's been cancelled though.
So you actually get
to go home before 7pm.
OK. Oh, and the, uh,
dealership called
to say that your new car won't
be ready for a few days. - No!
- They'll throw in the floor mats for free.
- I already get them for free.
So you'll have a spare set then.
- Sell them on eBay and give the money
to the hospital. - Ah, sure thing.
Anything else?
Oh, just that you look
very pretty today.
- Why, thank you.
Get to work.
you're awake. Good.
How are you feeling today?
Please don't squeeze
the Charmin.
Sir, do you know your name?
A name you can trust.
Hi. Dr. Lewis. Excuse me.
I was... I was wondering...
Can I see you for a second?
- Sure, yeah.
I'll just be here. Hi, Karen.
- Hi.
How's life in the fundraising
fast lane?
- It's fantastic.
- Yeah?
I've been meaning to tell you
what a stellar job you've done
ever since you've taken over the chair of the
foundation. - Thank you. No, I was just...
Is that Adan Kundle?
- Yeah.
I know him from a long time ago.
He's an advertising
marketing genius.
He taught me everything I know...
how to craft a message, how to,
you know, align fundraising
goals with the motivations
of the donors,
how to close a deal.
He's incredible.
Can you tell me
what really happened?
- Uh, yeah.
Um, the police found him
in front of a bunch of TVs
in an electronics store.
- Is he OK? - Well, physically
he's perfectly healthy. But, um,
he's having trouble communicating.
- Is there anything I can do?
- You can go see him
if you want. - OK.
- Can I get you a cup of coffee?
- I would love a cup of coffee. - OK.
Thanks, Dr. Lewis.
Mr. Kundle.
Hi. I'm Karen.
You probably don't remember me.
Part of the fabric of life.
- I took your seminar back in
New York in '91. You're amazing.
Here we are again,
20 years later.
Life's funny that way, huh?
- Impossible is nothing.
Apparently so.
How are you feeling?
Like you just walked
out of a salon.
Like I just walked out
of a salon.
Why, thank you.
Karen, I got your coffee.
- Oh.
- Good to the last drop.
It certainly is.
It was good seeing you, Adan.
- Seeing is believing.
- I got to go be important.
Maybe it's just her,
maybe it's Maybelline.
No. It's just me.
How do you handle
a hungry man?
- Yeah, the commercial will run during
the first half of the Super Bowl.
Two point five million
per 30-second slot. Yeah.
That's right, per slot.
Uh, absolutely, yeah.
Five-point increase in sales.
No, no, no, thank you.
No, no. That's why you hired me,
isn't it? Bye-bye.
Put Coke down for the first four
I came up with, all right?
- OK. - And, um, how many... how many
is that for the Super Bowl now?
It's 10. Ten including
the promo spot.
- What? How many? Ten?
- Ten. Yeah, I just said 10.
- Wow! Yeah. Thirteen this time
last year. But never mind. - Sorry.
Lucas Foster.
Who? Police?
Well, what do you want?
Is he all right?
Good. Good.
Thank you. Thank you. I'll, uh, I'll send
somebody out straight away, all right?
Mr. Foster?
Is everything all right?
Adan's in the hospital.
That's terrible.
He walks out of his office
almost a year ago,
disappears off the map.
Now this.
So he's a bit eccentric.
Eccentric? No. No, no, no.
Adan Kundle always has a plan.
- You think he's up to something?
- Come on, keep up.
Why else would he just magically
re-appear? - Uh, maybe he...
No, no, no, I don't buy it.
Not for a second.
He's still our boss, for now,
isn't he?
So get to the hospital.
Check up on him.
Buy him something...
not flowers.
Something unique.
Did you know that scientists
have done studies
that show that... kissing has the same
effect on the brain as cocaine?
That's so deep.
- Are you high right now?
- I'm really high.
Yeah. And...
It's just such a complex
behaviour, you know?
It uses 28 facial muscles.
- I like to work out.
- And it... it burns like two
to three calories a minute.
- You know, that's true,
because, I swear to God,
since I started seeing you,
I feel, like, more cut,
you know?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Me too.
Thanks for taking me home,
It's not a problem.
- I should go.
Good night.
- Yeah.
- OK.
Good night.
She wants it.
You're back late
from work, huh?
I... I really enjoy these...
these conversations
we're having these days.
Nice and short.
Bam! Whoa! Super fast!
- And mirrors, a whole bunch
of mirrors.
- Um, I guess, but maybe it's
a woman that's driving.
- Hot!
- Totally hot. She's blonde.
- Sir, I can't help you if you
don't stop watching the TV.
Sir, please!
- Make yourself heard.
Thank you.
- With bad guys,
and a helicopter!
- Right. Yeah, all that stuff.
It's right...
- So, we were discussing rehab
programs. Now, there is
a great place upstate;
it's called Garden Meadows.
Well, it's more of a resort
than a rehab centre, honestly.
And it's as good as it gets.
But you have to make the
decision to go there yourself.
I can't make that decision
for you. Do you understand that?
Let the journey begin.
- OK.
- Hi, Susan.
- Hey, Karen. What's up?
- Just thought I'd drop by
and see how
the new patient is doing.
- You two know each other?
- Yeah, we're kind of old friends.
Did I overhear you mention
Garden Meadows?
Yes. I thought that that would be a
great place for Adan, if he chooses to go.
But unfortunately they don't have
a space for another week or so...
- Well, if there's anything
I can do to help, just let me know.
- Yeah, well, he needs a place to stay in
the interim. I mean, I would keep him here,
but as usual, we need every bed
we can get, and...
- Oh, I-I-I didn't mean help out
that much. I meant I... I mean,
I'll help, but, you know, it's
just part of the conversation.
I didn't mean it, you know?
- OK.
I know you didn't mean that.
- OK.
- You don't have to take him in.
- OK.
- Unless... well,
unless you want to.
- Only you can prevent
forest fires.
- Look, you know what,
if you don't want to do this...
uh, something else will
work out.
- It's just for a few days,
- Yeah, it's just
for a few days.
- Or your money back.
- You mean you'll pay me?
- And we'll include
a Ginsu knife.
- Well, I already have one.
OK, twist my arm. I'll help. I'll help.
- Oh, my god, Karen,
you're a saint!
Saint Karen.
I like that.
I like that a lot.
I'll get my things.
- Only you can prevent
wild fires.
Mr. Foster? Hi.
I am at the hospital.
Yeah, I'm sorry, sir,
but he's gone.
No, he's not dead,
he's just been discharged.
Yes, sir, I'm on it.
Listen, I will get back to you.
- Now, Adan, um, I have
a confession to make.
I have actually followed
your career over the years.
I'm kind of a groupie.
Some people are
into comic books.
I... I really like
the advertising world.
And, uh, I was just wondering
if it was possible for you to...
to help me come up with
some advertising slogans
for the hospital for, you know,
next week or...
You deserve a break today.
Oh, hello.
Who's he?
Uh, Adan.
Adan, Meghan.
Meghan, Adan.
- You're being very rude,
You're right. I am.
Let me show you
to your room.
Some things from... things
from the lost and found
at the hospital, they donate.
This is a...
- Surprise. You're on a mountain peak where I
play those sweet sha-la-las you love to hear.
Firework colours turn our world
upside down. I hope you like water,
because we're neck deep in the sweet
waters of friendship and trust.
You see...
- Oh.
- ...when you're a man who smells like the
fresh scents of Old Spice, you can go anywhere.
Unless, of course, you prefer
to stay in.
- Yeah, commercials are
really great, huh?
- The length you go to
for pleasure.
I brought you a shirt.
-'s like they know it's
only a matter of time.
the only thing between them
and opposable thumbs.
Imagine that. Cats...
with thumbs.
And what if they got together?
Gangs of cats with thumbs!
And organi...
Come on.
- # Eat this, eat that
# This one's good,
this one's bad #
- Knock. Knock.
- What?
- Are we really going to keep
doing this dance? Huh?
Because I don't
like it. It's not fun.
I beg to differ.
OK. Um, well,
it's, uh, totally cool
to treat me this way and to act
like that, but it's
not really cool
to behave like that
with other people.
And the thing is,
you know it.
- Who is he, anyway?
- He's an old friend.
He's waiting for a spot
at Garden Meadows.
And you brought him here?
Are you insane?!
Give me that!
- Get your own box.
- Give it to me!
- You can learn a lot
from a dummy. Buckle up.
Meghan. Meghan.
Hey. Meghan, stop it.
- Let it go!
- You know how men are about
holding the remote control.
Let him have it.
- It's our TV!
- What are you, four years old?
And if so, he was here first.
- Bizzario here is watching
My show is on!
- He is a guest
in our home!
- I can't believe you'd bring
one of your charity cases
into our house without
telling me first! - He needed help.
- So what?
We're the neighbourhood
kennel for psychos?
- He's not a psycho. He just needs a place
to stay for a few days
until he finds a spot
at Garden Meadows.
- Mothers are supposed
to tell their daughters about
bringing home crazies
before actually doing it!
- Why let those strands of hair
turn grey?
- I started dyeing my hair
the day she turned 13.
You know, I try my best
to be...
...the cool, open mom to her so that
I don't end up like my mother.
But no matter how hard I try
I just end up being a clich.
I've got this cool job
in the hospital,
and then I come home,
I'm at the bottom
of the food chain of life.
I don't even want
to come home sometimes.
I don't know why I'm telling you
this. I'm sorry. I...
you know, maybe I need to go
to Garden Meadows. I think
I would really benefit.
- Nothing sucks like
an Electrolux.
Yeah, it sucks big time.
Thank you, Adan.
Have a seat on the...
on the couch.
In my home.
I want you to have this,
because I know you want it.
- You could learn a lot from a dummy.
Buckle your safety belt...
- ...apologize, I'll...
I'll correct it myself.
It's... it's just that I work
with a bunch of monkeys here...
- Why are you not talking yet?
- It's like I said on the phone:
he was discharged before I got there.
He left with a woman named Karen Hillridge.
She works at the hospital
as the head of the charity...
- That's really boring.
What else?
- OK. Well, I got her full
background check,
including credit reports and
even her school transcripts.
- That's rubbish. Is that it?
- It's the best I could do in 10 minutes.
Give me 24 hours and I'll go as far back as
her ancestors' country of origin.
- See, that's why I like you,
Jenny. You remind me of me.
- Thank you, Mr. Foster.
- That wasn't a compliment.
Look, I really
don't care if you spent
too much time in Vietnam
or your daddy left you
when you were only a stem cell.
Just don't even think about
coming near me or my stuff.
Got it, serial killer?
- Sometimes you feel like a nut,
sometimes you don't. - Wow.
You're like some crazy
sideshow attraction
from an amusement park
or something, aren't you?
- I'm going to Disneyland.
- Oh, good. Let me buy you your ticket.
- My life. My car.
- No. I insist.
- Thanks for your support.
- I'm sorry,
I don't speak crazy. Hey!
Oh, my god, I'm so sorry.
Are you OK?
- What's going on in there?
- Nothing! Right?
Relax, it's FedEx.
He's here.
Hey. Is she, uh, ready to go?
- Oh, yeah, I'm pretty sure
she heard the doorbell ring
when you were down the street.
And, uh, who's he?
He's a friend. It's Adan.
- His name's what?
- Adan. - Adam?
Adan. Adan.
Choosing the right
life insurance doesn't guarantee
you'll live to retirement age.
- He's fine.
- Heh.
Meghan, Jason's...
That's romantic.
You don't have a curfew,
but if you're not home
at a reasonable hour,
you will, young lady!
I heard that.
What is it they say?
That the ones that are... are
closest to you are the ones that
end up hurting you the most?
I just hope that one day
she'll stop pretending
that she hates me.
- It takes a tough man
to make a tender chicken.
- A teenager is
a whole other story.
Crispy. Not fried.
So, Adan, uh...
...what happened?
I mean, the last time
I saw you, you weren't,
well, you know, consumed
with talking in advertising
slogans. And now... yeah, well,
now you... you do it
all the time.
- You play like Betty White.
- Thanks. I'm a big Betty White fan.
But you're avoiding
the question.
- You've got questions,
we've got answers.
You're still avoiding.
I am what I am.
Fine. Well, it's,
uh, it's nice being able
to spend some time with you.
You know...
- Quality time.
I'm getting used to it.
Good morning. Sorry.
Good morning.
- We never sleep.
- Good to know. Uh, you hungry?
- Time to make the donuts.
How about cereal?
They're magically delicious.
Hey, Meghan! It's time
to get up! You have to work
early today, remember?
I was always up and ready
to work at her age. Always.
Maybe I should have gone
to the movie with her. Right?
Just to show her that I'm
a human being... because I am.
You understand, right?
Got milk?
- Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
You must think I'm an idiot.
Oh, hello, darling. You know,
I don't give you a curfew yet, but coming home
at one o'clock when you have to work is not
a really good idea. And please don't do that
mocking thing with your mouth right now.
Please. Thank you. - It is so nice to
wake up to your morning lectures, Mother.
- Oh, well, that's good because
there's going to be another one
this afternoon.
I hope you can make it.
- Don't be mean.
- I'm not being mean,
I'm being sarcastic.
What's going on?
What's the matter, patter?
- Nothing.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
- Yes, there is. What's wrong?
- Nothing!
- What's wrong?
- Everything. - Yes?
- Whatever. I'm just
cranky, that's all.
- I know.
- It's my time of the month.
- Happy now?
- Yes, I am.
At least now I understand.
- Bayer works wonders.
Thanks. I didn't need that.
Just being nice.
Light conversation.
I think she needs more
than Bayer.
- Lucas Foster, President
of Kundle Advertising.
- Mr. Foster?
How'd you get my number?
- Uh, the hospital gave it
to me. Hope you don't mind.
I understand you're
looking after our CEO, Adan.
- Um, yes, I am.
- That's really
nice of you. How is he?
- Um, he... he's doing great,
you know, he really is, except
for his slogan speech.
- Can I talk to him? - Talk to him?
- Yeah.
- Head for the border. - Uh, no, he's...
he's taking a nap right now.
- Yeah. I really need
to see him.
- I don't... I don't know.
- I understand you might be busy,
but this is really important.
- You know
it makes sense.
- Um, OK, um, let's see
each other for lunch then.
Hm. He hung up.
So I guess we're going
to meet him for lunch.
- You look like you're
in good spirits, Adan.
- Small wonder.
- Yeah.
So, Karen, I heard you're doing
wonderful things for the hospital.
Yes, I am.
- OK, well, if there's anything
I can do, then just let me know.
Mm, there is, actually.
I have two tables left for the annual gala.
- Oh, she's good.
Some of our best men are women.
- Can't argue with that, can you?
I'd be happy to buy two tables.
- Great.
- Adan,
do you need anything...
from me?
- A little dab'll do ya.
- Anything else?
- Even your best friends
wouldn't tell you.
- He's talking in slogans, isn't
he? Is he talking in slogans?
- Well, is it a joke?
- No.
It's not a joke.
That's how he speaks now.
Are you two close?
- Huh? Yeah. Yes. Of course,
yeah, yeah, he taught me
everything I know.
- Even you can have a body like mine.
- Thank you.
Excuse me.
- Don't you wish
everyone used Dial?
- Jenny? Stop everything,
go through Adan's contracts,
anything and everything to do
with his deal. Got it? Good.
Thank you for waiting.
I've had a brilliant idea.
So, I'm going to put Adan up
in a five-star hotel
until we can sort through
these things, yeah?
- Not necessary.
- I know what a burden this is
for you too...
- It's not a burden.
- Well, why don't you
bring Adan in
so we could discuss it?
- I've actually really enjoyed
reconnecting with him.
- And the road will
never be the same.
- Fine, fine, I'm... I'm
all right with that.
You two, you've got a little
thing going on, don't you? Cute.
But I would love for you
to come by the office
just to see how things are
running now.
Any time, any place.
All right, I'm gonna go.
- Zoom, zoom.
- Zoom, zoom.
Karen, I'm really looking forward
o seeing you at the gala.
Bring your cheque book.
Thank you.
It's such a pretty day.
Hey, let's go outside.
No, don't do it.
Don't do it.
Not a good idea.
Not a good idea.
Top breeders recommend it.
- What? No.
No, they don't.
- Four out of five dentists
recommend it.
- Why are you talking
like this?
Because I'm worth it.
- OK, as amusing as it is
for you, Adan,
the real world isn't a bunch
of commercials on TV.
I... I wish it were,
trust me, for what's in my head
too sometimes.
But you can't just
flip the channel
whenever you don't like
what you see in front of you.
You can't.
Now, I'm trying to make you
feel comfortable here, right?
I'm... I just want you
to meet me half way. OK?
Delta's ready when you are.
- And in times like these,
the country needs a president
who gets the job done right,
not a man who just gets the job.
Senator James Allen:
he's running for president
and he'll get the job
done right.
- I want you to tell me
how I'm meant to be feeling.
What is this meant
to make me feel?
- Well, I think it...
- No, no, no, no.
I'll tell you: bored.
That's what.
- Bored? No... - So the next time
you decide to go off-script,
a script that I provided
you with, don't!
- I-I, but I...
- I-I-I-I agree,
it's all your fault.
Film school grad.
Excuse me.
- Yes?
Adan Kundle.
- Uh, yes. I'm still going
through the agreements,
but I will let you know
the second I find something.
- I want to tell you
a little story.
- OK.
- There was once this little
scrappy English boy.
He had a really shitty life
and even shittier dad.
He decided when he grew up
he wanted to be powerful
and to have it all.
He thought it would
make him happy.
He thought it would
fill that void, you know?
Guess what?
It only bloody well worked.
He was the happiest
son of a bitch in the universe.
- Hm.
- Hm. It's nice, isn't it?
- The thing is, he never wanted
to be sad again.
So he strived, he worked hard
to make sure he stayed happy.
He'd do anything it took,
and that included
firing anyone who got
in his way.
I will make you happy, sir.
Oh, I know.
Talk, they'll listen.
- He's right. Uh, Meghan,
we need to talk.
- Can I please finish this
delicious mystery fowl first?
- Finger lickin' good.
- He likes it.
- He's being sarcastic, Mom.
Even I know that.
- I need you
to do me a favour.
- You need me to drive him
to the SPCA so they can find him
a good home?
- Good one, but no.
I have to go into the office
tomorrow, and I know
you're not working,
so can you keep him
company for the day?
Is that OK with you?
- Does she or doesn't she?
- This is a paying gig, right?
- Oh, of course.
Money buys everything.
Even family resorts to blackmail
every now and then.
Twenty-five dollars.
Fifty. Plus expenses.
And it's not blackmail,
it's extortion.
- How about we call it
earning your allowance,
and then I pay you nothing?
How does that sound?
- Uh, really bad.
OK, why don't we
call it food allowance because
I inherited your cooking gene?
Thirty five.
But I really need you
to look after him, all right?
No strangers in the house,
and absolutely no
TV. Got it? Deal?
- Apparently space isn't
the final frontier.
- Great. And just make him
feel comfortable.
- Mom, no crazy person ever feels
comfortable. That's why they're crazy.
I am here only for the beer.
How do I look?
Say yes to beautiful.
- Call me if there's
an emergency.
Don't worry, we won't.
- Not me. I'm going back to bed.
- Yo quiero Taco Bell?
I don't do breakfast.
But I can tell you
my rules of disengagement.
You must do exactly as I say,
you must obey my every command,
and you must stay at least five
feet away from me at all times...
that includes right now.
Got it?
It is so nice to see that
someone else in this world is
more screwed up than me.
- I mean, that one's
all right.
It's a bit boring, though.
And this one, just rubbish.
It's rubbish. Jenny,
what do you think?
- Yeah, yeah, it's rubbish.
- Rubbish.
Go down to post, try and salvage
something out of that rubbish.
Tell me you got something
for me.
- Something.
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
- Oh look, she's still here.
- She is still here. Bye-bye.
- Speak.
- Take a look.
That says that in our contracts
we have a termination clause
which states that the employer can terminate
the contract if the employee becomes
mentally ill.
- So all I have to do is get
a shrink on record to say
that he's nuts, and I'm done.
- Mm-hmm.
- But?
- There's an easier and more
convincing way.
- I'm getting very excited.
- An objective third party.
Someone Adan knows. It's hard
to discredit a family member
or a friend's opinion,
but even better if it's
someone that's in his life
right now.
- Have I ever told you how good
at your job you are?
Oh, well.
- I just fall for that
every time.
- Short sales or bank-owned properties
or commercial real estate,
agents who can help speed up
the process no matter
how intricate. And that's good news
whether you're trying to sell
or hoping to buy.
Because the only sign
you really want
to see is "Sold".
Nobody sells more real estate
than Remax.
- So will you? I hope so.
I know so. Ice cream?
Let's make things interesting.
- I'm not going to try it.
You try it.
I'm gettin' it...
- The one, the only,
In Styler rotate...
- Meltdown...
- The sand between your toes.
That's disgusting.
- He likes it! Hey, Mikey!
- It's essential. - Meltdown.
- Meltdown. - He likes it!
He likes it! He likes it!
I hope so. I know so.
Do you want a man who smells
like he can bake you a gourmet
cake in the dream kitchen he
built you with his own hands?
Of course... - know it's
only a matter of time.
- Regular Life and Cinnamon Life.
- Where's the beef?
- Do you feel it?
The sand between your toes.
- It proves if you don't fuck with your
safety belt, the loser is...
Oh, poop already!
- No, that satellite has to have
an Impact Smart Hard Drive.
- Meltdown.
- Right now.
- Oh, c'est incroyable!
T'entends a chrie?
- Only the In Styler combines
a rotating heated...
- Seriously, four feet
by five feet... - Adan?
My god.
Snap out of it.
Snap out of it!
Unwrap paradise.
- Jesus.
- Must-see TV.
- Takes a lickin',
keeps on tickin'.
- You killed the TV!
- Meghan, what did you do?
- What did I do?
I didn't do anything!
- What did you do
when I was gone?
- What are you talking about?
- Where did you go?
- We went on a sightseeing tou...
- What did I say?! What did I say?!
- What are you talking about?!
- I said no TV!
- I'm sorry!
- I said no TV!
- I said I was sorry!
- I said no TV.
- OK, what do you want me to do?
Go back in time?
- Yes, that's what I want you to do...
go back in time, let's do it all over again!
- Great! Great! Then we can
both go back, Mother,
say about two years, and you can
fix everything that you did wrong!
And don't even pretend you don't
know what I'm talking about!
Every time you look at me,
I can feel it!
You're in complete denial!
I'm not in denial.
- We earn our wings
every day.
Sell it somewhere else.
Mom, I'm sorry, OK?
I didn't mean to say that.
I was just pissed.
Say something.
- I'm not that good
at playing Supermom.
I can't even fit into the joke ones
they sell at the mall anymore.
The only way for me to deal
with it is by not dealing.
If I didn't, I'd cry
all the time.
And why do you think I work
so hard at the hospital?
It's all just a distraction.
- I don't want to end up
hating each other forever.
I mean, look at us.
One day we're gonna end up arguing
ourselves to death over a spoon.
A spoon?
Yeah, a spoon.
- It wouldn't even be
a good spoon.
cheap plastic spoon...
...that's melted
in the dishwasher.
- And we'd have to get
a new dishwasher.
Come here, give me a hug.
I love you.
Stupid catalyst spoon.
This Bud's for you.
- Oh, that's very sweet
of you, Adan. Thank you.
You gave me quite a scare
in there, you know?
Pressure's off.
- What happened in there,
it's not OK.
You know that, right?
I know you're very aware
of what's going on.
Perhaps more
than most people.
But you don't give anything out
about yourself.
- Never let 'em see you sweat.
- What happened to you?
Not just recently,
but for the last 20 years.
- Pleasing people
the world over.
- Welcome, Senator.
It's so nice to see you.
If you'll just follow me.
- I know where I'm going.
- It's your place.
You own this place, man. Wow.
You're amazing. You good?
You OK?
You're great.
You're amazing.
Hello. Mr. Kundle.
It's a pleasure
to have you back. Hi.
If you'll just come this way.
Oh, just Mr. Kundle.
- Oh, but, I... I can't come?
I don't like lobbies.
It's not my thing.
- Leave the driving to us.
- If it ain't broke...
- Don't fix it.
You're good?
You're in good hands?
Mr. Kundle?
In here. So,
Mr. Foster will be with you shortly.
Would you like something to drink?
Crisp, clean, no caffeine.
Hm. Water? OK.
There you go. Thank you.
- Senator Allen, hello.
- Cut the dog and pony act,
Lucas. What the hell's going on
with my campaign? - What?
- I was expecting to see this
new commercial of yours a week ago.
- It's ready.
- So let's see it.
It's down in post-production, colour correction,
sound edits, and all that boring stuff.
- Ah, there's the dog.
- Uh...
It's gonna be ready tomorrow,
OK? And it's gonna be perfect.
Everything you ever wanted
and more.
- And there's the pony.
If it's not ready tomorrow
I'm going to have a talk
with Chance Williams.
- There's no need, is there?
I've got my best man on the job.
- Oh, yeah? Who?
- Me.
- That's why I don't
believe it.
Ohhh. Ahhh.
Aren't you supposed to be
on sabbatical?
Does that mean
you're back?
- The next stage.
- I know what you mean.
Got to recharge
the old batteries
every once in a while
Just like making a fresh start,
There is no equal.
- Well, between you and me,
I'm thrilled you're here.
Lucas has been
jerking me around
for weeks, and I'm losing
confidence in the firm.
- Time for clarity.
- Damn straight it is.
So, what's my new
campaign slogan?
Can you hear me now?
- Yes, Adan, I can hear you
just fine.
Can you hear me now?
Simple... but powerful.
And you can add anything
you want to it. Like:
"We can fix healthcare.
Can you hear me now?"
Or: "I'm going to put a stop
to corporate greed.
Can you hear me now?"
It's brilliant, Adan.
I could win with it.
I like the way
you think, Adan.
Would you ever consider
coming to Washington
to be part of my administration
if we win?
- What's in your wallet?
- Probably not enough for a guy like you.
See what I mean?
- But I'll make it happen anyway
because you say it like it is.
7 Up yours.
- All right,
where is he?
- I don't know.
He was right here!
For God's sake.
That actually works.
I don't know why you wouldn't
tell me about the ad campaign,
Lucas. Adan just filled me in,
and it sounds fine.
Good thing he's come back
when he has.
- But...
- I'm going to get myself a bite
to eat, and when I come back
I want you to tell me exactly
how you're going to push
this ad campaign of ours.
Why don't you just
try to tell me what was going on
down there, hmm?
No? OK, well,
let me tell you,
and it pains me to say this, but you're
not fit to run this company anymore.
So what's it going to take?
How much money
is it going to take for you
to live happily ever after and piss off?
- Financial security doesn't
have to be a fairytale.
- But that's not true, is it? And that's
the beauty of the market economy.
Everything can be bought
and sold, even you.
Some things money can't buy.
Bullshit! Whew.
You know that.
Capitalist tool.
- Name calling.
Name calling, huh?
Oh, you're stooping
that low, are you?
Well, two can play
that game.
What about this? Huh?
It's something to do
with your brain.
Think again.
- Executive education.
- You're old enough to know better.
- Live in your world,
play in ours.
- Show your true colors.
- It's foolproof.
- Silly rabbit.
Trix are for kids.
- Bite into it.
- Sharp pictures
even if you're not.
- Now, that's refreshing.
- That's right up your street
for value.
Dangerously entertaining.
His master's voice.
And the legend rolls on.
- I hope you know what you're
forcing me to do.
Get out.
- I don't like lobbies.
- OK.
- Yes?
- Would you like to go out
for dinner with me?
- Sure.
- Yeah?
- I've had all my shots
at the hospital.
- Ah.
- Great. - Great. Can't wait.
- Deal.
- Deal. Ah.
- ...the country needs a president
who gets the job done right,
not just a man who gets the job.
I'm Senator James Allen.
Can you hear me now?
- Yes?
- Go down to post.
- Mm-hmm.
- Tell them... that this is
the commercial we're going
to use for the senator.
Do it now.
Yes, Mr. Foster.
Challenge everything.
This is Karen.
Oh, no, no, I didn't forget.
I'm on my way there now.
Thank you.
- See the USA in your Chevrolet.
How did you know?
- Miss Hillridge.
It's so nice to see you again.
- You too, Glenda.
- It's just out back. Come on.
- Great.
- Whew!
- This is your lucky day.
We have a special promotion
on this particular car.
Not only do you get a $4,000
factory rebate,
but, just for you, I'll throw in
the floor mats for free.
So, what do you say?
Ready to fall in love
with this baby?
- The Camaro convertible is the finest
sports car GM has to offer. Truly individual.
Uncompromising quality,
purity, simplicity.
A design that flies in the face
of convention.
Exquisite detail
with every amenity imaginable.
Inside, its sleek interior,
our telling custom touches,
a classic with a dash
of the unexpected,
designed to trigger actions
and reactions.
More features, more flexibility.
It's got the power
to astonish you.
Stunningly bold, crafted
to endure both time and trend...
...with remarkable
operational features.
A masterpiece of quality.
Understated elegance,
unbelievable attention
to detail.
For the ultimate
in styling, versatility...
...its integral strength,
its easy handling, its luxury,
its sleek, smooth, and
aggressively dynamic design,
it's a good reason
to take the long way home!
It's practically perfect.
One of the finer things in life
is finally affordable!
So rare and available
to so few.
Why? Just because.
So, come on, let the winds
of self-expression prevail,
indulge your whim,
snub convention... an adventure
of pure luxury.
Buy now with no money down.
your experience begins
the moment you arrive.
With our special dealer financing,
you can be out the door today...
tax, licensing, federal
emission fees extra,
offer not available
in certain cities. Come on down
to your GM dealer, check out
the Camaro convertible today.
- Why don't you think about that
for a while?
Ready to roll?
And then after college I took
a year off and I just... I travelled.
North Africa,
- Mm.
- When you're young,
it's amazing what you can do
with very little money
and a high tolerance
for bad sleeping conditions.
- No.
It's amazing when you got loads
of money.
- So, um, why did you
invite me here?
Why do you think? Adan.
- You're afraid he might do
something that doesn't suit
your best interests?
- No, no, no.
I'm afraid for the interests
of the company,
'cause it takes a lot, you know,
to... to uphold image.
I mean, I just can't even tell
you how much better that is.
- Does he have to stare
like that?
- He's harmless. Just think
of him as a house pet.
- But... he's not going to be
around us all night, is he?
You got something you want
to say to me, man?
- Have you spoken to your doctor
about erectile dysfunction?
That's not funny, man.
Let's get some air,
Head out back
where we won't be disturbed.
- I like your boat.
- Two point five million.
Paid cash.
- Do you have anything
for motion sickness?
- Um... - I hear looking
at the horizon's good.
- You know, I-I might
have some...
in this cupboard.
- Oh, no.
No. No. I'm sorry.
What are you sorry for?
- You were... you were going
to kiss me.
That's ridiculous.
What'd you mean?
- You were leaning in
for a kiss.
You were making a play.
- No. That's delusional,
to be honest.
I don't know why you think that.
- Let's just drop it.
Yeah. Let's drop it.
- What happened
between the two of you?
- What?
- Adan.
He left.
I wouldn't have kissed you
anyway; you're not my type.
Whoa. Slow down, there.
- Shh. Just relax.
- OK, Jason... Get off me!
Stop it!
Now I'm gonna kick your ass.
You are so not even worth...
- Cavity protection
you can trust.
Oh, hi.
Hey, Mom.
- Hi, honey.
- Adan and I thought it would be
fun if we took a little
daycation together tomorrow.
You two had a conversation?
I really want to know
how you see things.
Is there a way for me
to do that?
Think different.
- Like, when you look
at something,
you see something
totally different...
a can of soup,
or look at a car...
...the rain...
You see it like a commercial.
It's kind of beautiful.
The happiest place on earth.
It's for you.
- Thank you so much, sweetheart.
I am, so are you.
- I didn't
mean it like that
and you know it.
Give me that thing!
- Adan Kundle is
not fit to run the company.
- But he owns the company.
- So?
- Why humiliate him?
Why force him out?
- I tried to buy him out,
but he didn't take the money.
Did you know that?
All right, listen, why don't we
all calm down here, OK?
Why don't you sit down with me?
Let's take a breath.
All I want is what's best
for the three of us.
You can make that happen.
- Me?
Yeah, you. Yeah.
What I want is
an objective point of view
so you can tell the board
that he's not fit to run the company.
- You mean to call him crazy?
I don't want to do that.
- You know that clinic
that you want to build?
I can promise you,
in writing, that Kundle
Advertising will build it
and fund it.
- You really burn me up.
- What are you doing?
- Off. - What are you'd...
- Off.
It doesn't work.
- Th-that's weird.
It's just weird.
Am I still the bad guy?
- All right. It's time for you
to go. Toodle-oo.
You've got a couple of hours
to think about it.
I can write the papers up,
all right? Bye-bye.
You're a sadist.
Hi, sweetheart.
Hey, Mom.
- I can still smell his scent
on his clothes.
I miss him too, Mom.
Here, sit down.
there is never going to be
a good time to talk about this.
Mom, when Dad died...
...and I went to the hospital
'cause I wanted to see him...
...and you were already there,
and I went in and the nurse
stopped me from seeing him...
...why did you do that?
He was so...
...he was so alive.
And then he wasn't, and...
...I didn't want you to see him
like that.
- You can't protect me
from real life, Mom.
He was my dad.
- I know.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry for everything.
- For everything else,
there's MasterCard.
- Do you know what you're going
to do tomorrow?
No, I don't.
- You know
he likes you, right?
Come on. Don't tell me
you don't think he's hot.
- I think he's
an attractive man.
- That's mom talk
for hot.
Just don't be surprised
when he says some weird
commercial slogan like,
"Is it in you?"
- Meghan.
- "Good to the last drop."
- "Fill it to the rim
with Brim."
- And did you
and Lucas Foster
continue to communicate
over the past year?
- There's a lion
on my egg.
Would you say
that the two of you were,
uh, adversaries
rather than coworkers?
- Is your man
getting enough?
One last question, Adan.
Do you believe that you can continue
to be CEO for Kundle Advertising?
- One in 25 men are
colour blind.
The other 24 are just
dressed that way.
- Miss Hillridge, Lucas stated
that you had, uh,
some things to say in regards
to Adan's issue.
I've had
the pleasure of spending
the last several days
with Adan, and, um...
I am reluctant
to call him
crazy, but I do think he has
a condition and will benefit greatly
from the help
at Garden Meadows.
- Thank you,
Miss Hillridge.
Personal opinions aside, Adan,
I don't want to humiliate you
by forcing you into a lengthy
boardroom meeting to deal with your issue.
It's a private matter, and I think
it's better to keep it that way.
Simply put, I believe that you are no longer capable
of leading this company.
Therefore, Lucas will be made
CEO of Kundle Advertising
immediately. - Thank you, Chairman.
- Thank you for coming
on such short notice.
Good day.
Can I have a word?
Excuse me.
I won.
I got the company.
You're just a joke,
really. A walking tagline.
Don't dream it. Drive it.
I'm glad we agree.
The thing is, it wasn't
about you and me.
It certainly wasn't
about the clients...
Ford, Google, Microsoft, Shell,
they're coming to us
'cause they have no idea
what it's about either.
But you and me,
we really know.
We know.
We all strive
for that moment,
that moment of clarity,
that moment where
everything makes sense,
that one blissful moment
where we cease to be insignificant...
...where we're whole,
complete, perfect.
But it's hard.
It is hard to get to that place.
In fact, it's almost impossible,
but we sell it.
We sell it.
Even if it's fleeting.
Even if it's
a millisecond of absolute joy,
and then... we sell it.
And it's worth it.
And you know that still.
It's worth it.
It's starting the engine
of that brand-new sports car.
It's slipping your feet into
those beautiful Italian leather shoes.
It's opening up that bottle of expensive wine
that none of your friends knew about.
It's buying that thing.
You know, that thing, that thing
that everybody else wants
and you've got.
We tell the world that they can
be who they were meant to be...
...even if it isn't true.
Not everyone can see it.
But your dentist can.
Rehab is for quitters.
A diamond is forever.
It's not "goodbye".
It's more like
"see you soon".
- Getting there is half the fun.
Being there is all of it.
Hello, Adan. I'm Mary.
I'll be taking care of you
while you stay with us.
If you'll come with me, I'll
get you started right away.
- Nobody said this was
going to be easy.
- If you wait right here, Adan,
I'll get you your room key.
- ...I've been telling everyone,
it's so easy a cave man could do it.
I wouldn't be having an
existential meltdown right now.
And in times like these,
the country needs a president
who gets the job done right,
not just a man who gets the job.
I'm Senator James Allen.
Can you hear me now?
This is your lucky day.
We have a special promotion
on this particular car.
Not only do you get a $4,000
factory rebate,
but, just for you, I'll throw in
those floor mats for free.
So, what do you think?
Ready to fall in love
with this baby?
- # The Camaro convertible is
the finest sports car GM has to offer #
# Truly individual,
uncompromising quality #
# Purity, simplicity, a design
that flies in the face of convention #
# Exquisite detail
with every amenity imaginable #
# Inside, its sleek interior,
our telling custom touches #
# A classic with a dash
of the unexpected #
# More features,
more flexibility #
# It's got the power
to astonish youuuuu #
# Stunningly bold, crafted
to endure both time and trend #
# With remarkable
operational features #
# A masterpiece of quality
# Understated elegance
# Unbelievable attention
to detail #
# For the ultimate
in styling, versatility #
# For its integral strength
# Its easy handling,
its luxury #
# Its smooth, sleek
aggressively dynamic design #
# It's a good excuse
to take a long way hooooome! #
# Finally, one of the finer
things in life is affordable #
# So rare
# And available to so few
# Why? Just because
# Sooooo let the winds
of self-expression prevail #
# Indulge your whim
# Snub convention
# And live an adventure
of pure luxury #
# Buy now with no money down
# Your experience begins
the moment you arrive #
# With our special dealer
financing #
# You can be
out the door todayyyyy #
# Tax, licensing, federal
emission fees extra #
Some... cities...
don't... offer it.
Come on down
to your GM dealership,
check out the Camaro convertible
- Why don't you have a think
about that for a while?
- That's a wrap.
- Is that a wrap?