Being Charlie (2015) Movie Script

Charlie, why don't you tell us
what you want to thank god for,
and close your eyes
and make a wish.
Six months of sobriety?
Nothing you want to say?
You look like you came
from a funeral.
Close. A birthday.
Heh. That's dark, man.
Where you headed?
Los Angeles.
I can take you to a bus station,
but I got to drop her off first.
Is this cool?
Yeah. This point,
won't make a difference.
All right.
What's wrong with her?
Besides her general disposition,
it's cancer.
Let me get you
in your chair, ma.
There you go.
Hey, uh,
think I could use your phone?
I'll be right back.
There we go.
I'll get your shows on, eh?
Hi. We're not home.
- Leave a message.
Hey. Um...
It's me.
I'm coming home.
Just wanted to let you know
that I'm okay,
I think things are gonna be
different this time, so...
Okay, bye.
Hello, America, and welcome
to "fact or fiction?"
I'm your host...
Hey, man,
mind if I use your bathroom?
Yeah, go ahead.
Just down the hall to the left.
- You still with us?
- Yeah, man.
- Yeah.
- Can I get a smoke?
What are those?
Nah, the pills, man.
Oh. I...
I got my wisdom teeth out.
What you working with, percs?
Nah. I switched
the labels around,
I'm not...
let me see those.
Yeah. Yeah, man, these are...
ah, let me see those!
My mother's oxys?
- - What the fuck, man!
What else you take?
Nothing, man. I... just those.
Get the fuck out of here!
Get out of here!
Your phone.
Adam, your phone is ringing.
What are you doing?
You have, like,
three missed calls.
What are you,
my fucking secretary?
Who do you know from Utah?
No one.
Shit. Charlie.
Have to go.
What about your parents?
Ah, don't worry about them.
You're just gonna
leave all this out here?
Yeah. They don't come
up here anyway.
All right.
Just don't do any
while I'm gone.
There he is.
- Hey, man.
- Ahh.
It's good to see you.
Oh, god.
Thanks for getting me.
You kidding?
I can't get enough of barstow.
So who you been
hanging out with?
No one, really.
Just been...
Spending a lot of time
with this girl.
Actually it's Stacey.
Stacey Chapman?
why would you ever hang out
with Stacey Chapman?
She's a fucking train...
holy shit.
- Right?
- Wow.
She really changed.
- She's blossomed.
- Yeah.
What about you?
Me? Ah, glad you asked.
What do you think? Hmm?
- She's a beaut, right?
- Yeah.
Yeah. She really
listens to me, too.
So how's Tyler, man?
I miss that motherfucker.
Started at umich.
How's Jackson?
Lot better
than the last time you saw him.
What a fucking night, huh?
I think he...
Went to Stanford, but he
dropped out or something.
I don't know. But, hey,
I'm still here.
Fucking barstow.
I guess we're
just gonna have to improvise.
- Nah, man.
- Come on.
- I'm not doing it.
- Come on.
- The beat's dropping, baby.
- I'm not doing it.
- I'm not. I'm not gonna...
Aaron Carter.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
I boxed myself in
with "smarter."
Maybe you should hit up
some open mics again.
Gotta have some great material
from all those places.
Ah, maybe.
Guess they forgot
the "welcome home" banner.
It's gonna be okay.
I mean, it's gotta be.
I mean, I'm 18, and...
They can't
just throw me out, so...
We're just gonna...
we're just
gonna have to hash it out.
You want me to come in with you?
Yeah, you can say a quick hi.
Do I smell like weed?
- No.
- I think I smell like weed.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Charlie.
Hey, guys.
Happy birthday, sweetie.
Yeah, happy birthday, son.
Hi, Adam.
Hey, Ms. mills.
Oh, you must be Charlie.
Welcome. Have a seat.
A fucking intervention.
Really? I...
did you know about this?
No, I swear.
- Charlie, please.
- Mrs. mills,
allow me.
This is what I do.
You mean you're
not a personal trainer?
- Charlie, take a seat.
- Mr. mills, just stay calm.
Dad, I'm not gonna sit here
and listen to you
tell me what a piece-of-shit
drug addict I am.
No one said
that you're a piece of shit.
You need to go back.
How many times
do I have to tell you
those places,
they don't work for me?
Look, no one said
that sobriety was easy.
If you never speak again,
that'd be... that'd be great.
Just why can't
i stay here, please?
That's not an option right now.
We're here to save
your life, Charlie.
Can we just talk about this?
Let's just talk about it,
Your mother and I
have already decided.
Charlie, I want you
- to be back home with us...
- honey.
We just discussed this.
Can't let him manipulate you.
I'm not manipulating her.
I'm asking her for her opinion.
You should try it sometime.
- How fucking dare you?
- Careful.
I'm one
of your constituents now.
You wouldn't want to lose
the governor's race by one vote.
Okay, you know what?
Here's how it's gonna go.
You can either
head back to treatment
or live on the streets.
It's your choice.
That's an easy one.
- No. Charlie...
- honey.
- Honey.
- Okay, can you not...
- I can't believe you.
I'm sorry. We did not discuss
him living on the streets.
- Yeah, we di...
- that was not an option.
Why couldn't you
have just listened?
He comes in here reeking of pot
with his drug buddy.
Yo, Charlie!
- Charlie.
- Look, man,
I knew that was gonna happen.
I told you.
Let's just be smart
about this, okay?
Oh, what, you taking their side?
No. No, man.
I'm on your side, all right?
It's just it's... look, it's all
about knowing when to fuck up.
All right? You think your dad's
gonna give a shit
about any of this
when he's elected?
No. No,
he's gonna be in sacramento
- doing his governor thing.
- That's the point, man.
Now it's about
fucking up his campaign.
Then it'll be
about fucking up his agenda.
Right. You're right. Go ahead.
Go... go do what you always do.
Go shoot up.
Prove everyone right.
With no money,
what are you gonna do, huh?
Go down to skid row and
wave your virgin asshole around?
You just...
Stick it out for 30 days.
You know, I'll be
moving out of my parents',
in my own place
for sophomore year.
You can... you can stay there
as long as you want.
No, you're right.
Besides, I should probably
save my virgin asshole
for that special someone, right?
Someone who, you know,
loves me for me, right?
I could be that guy.
I just... I just can't take
another one of those
lockdown places, you know?
They said it was supposed
to be like a hotel.
Yeah, they always say that.
I'll probably walk
the second I get there.
I'm here if you need me.
I'll be thinking 'bout you.
Oh, sure you will. Yeah.
You'll be sniffing coke off
of some sorority girl's tits,
thinking, "i wonder how
Charlie's sobriety is coming?"
Lift your scrotum, please.
It just covers you like a...
a warm blanket
inside and out.
Hey, it's a new guy.
How you doing, new guy?
They probably put him
in Joe's room.
Yeah, he was way too cool
for this place.
Yeah, he flew the cuckoo's nest,
went mcmurphy.
You guys do nothing
but complain about how you can't
stand it in this place here,
but you don't have the guts
to just walk out?
Paul, just finish, man.
- - Okay.
So all I'm saying is...
You could be under a bridge
in the cold rain,
still feel the warmth.
You could hit the lottery.
Win the nobel prize,
and bang the homecoming queen
all at the same time,
and it wouldn't touch
that first rush.
Man, I'm sold.
But every shot after that,
just sloppy seconds.
The lucky ones
just mourn the feeling,
but most end up
chasing it to the grave.
Okay, open your eyes.
So before we start,
would anybody like to share
feelings about Joe's departure?
Joe's gone?
No one has anything to share?
I have something.
Before group, I couldn't help
but overhear Paul
talking explicitly
and glowingly
about heroin usage.
And I feel,
in light of Joe's relapse,
this kind of drug talk
is counterproductive
to working a rigorous program.
Yeah, Joe failed.
He failed to see
his disease for what it is.
I guess for some people,
it takes a while.
They lose sight
of why they're here.
Near as I could figure it out,
it's because i...
- I fight and fuck too much.
I think it's
a little more than that.
I could put a bug
so far up your ass
you wouldn't know
whether to take a shit
- or wind your wristwatch.
- Okay, that's enough.
What is it with you
and that stupid movie?
I don't want to break up
the meeting or nothing,
but she's something of a cunt,
ain't she, doctor?
- Language.
- I'd like to break that fucking DVD.
If you break that DVD,
we're down to "the notebook"
and "cars 2."
People, enough.
Look, I know this is
an open forum,
but can we please keep it
to the parameters
of acceptance, solution,
and commitment?
Yeah, so in the spirit
of the open forum,
I was wondering
why a myriad of web domains
are blocked
in the computer room.
You mean porn?
No, I was referring
to certain destinations
the political blogosphere.
There's an outpouring
of stimulating
and thought-provoking material
that we're being
denied access to.
The only outpouring
you're interested in
is gonna wind up getting stuck
to the fucking keyboard.
Okay, guys, the rules
of the computer room
are not relevant right now.
What is relevant is acceptance.
That's what your recovery
is all about,
having the Serenity to accept
the things we cannot change.
Joining us today,
we have Charlie mills.
- Charlie.
- Hi, Charlie.
Is there anything
that you'd like
to share with us today, Charlie?
Okay, Charlie.
Well, just know
that if you continue
to refuse to accept
the disease that put you here,
you will continue to be
a repeat offender.
Don't you mean repeat customer?
You have a disease, Charlie.
We all do, all right?
And acceptance is the first step
towards controlling...
you know, you're right.
I do have a disease.
It's this place, okay?
It makes you feel
like a fucking leper,
and then when you get out,
everyone's expecting you
to fuck up again,
so you start using.
And then it's like
you hold our heads underwater,
but then come down on us
for trying to come up for air.
Sobriety is your breath
of fresh air.
It's your ticket out,
and it's priceless.
Priceless? Really?
What's the entrance fee
to this place nowadays, 20k?
You're no better than the guy
on the corner, okay,
but you're not slinging dope.
You're slinging false hope
and Serenity,
and you got everybody hooked.
Doctors, parents,
teachers, lawyers,
even the judges,
and we're paying
out the fucking nose for it.
You think I do this
for the money?
No. No.
I think you do this
for the courtside seats
to human suffering.
Can't watch you do that anymore.
Hey, thanks.
I liked your...
your "cuckoo's nest" bit.
Been in and out of these places
for 20 years,
and all I got to show for it's
a bag of newcomer chips
and an okay
Nicholson impersonation.
Excuse me.
I don't mean to pry,
but are you David mills' son?
See? I told you!
I-I'm a huge fan.
I fucking love
that pirate shit, man!
Oh, man.
Did... did he do
his own fencing?
Need you in the office.
I'll be right there!
Now, kiddo!
Keep your head down, brother.
You know why you're here?
Let me take a crack at it.
You're gonna say
that I'm being difficult
and that is hindering
not only my own recovery,
but the recovery
of those around me.
Thank you, sir, for...
Taking time out
of your very busy day.
What do you think you're doing?
Don't know what you're
talking about, dad.
Not one day goes by,
and already
they want to throw you out.
Sounds good.
Go ahead. Be glib.
You think just 'cause you're 18,
everything will
magically slide off you?
It doesn't work that way,
Oh, tell me, dad,
how does it work?
Want to be your own man,
make your own choices,
you live with the consequences.
I got a call about that stunt
you pulled up in Utah.
Yeah. They wanted
to press charges.
But I pulled some strings
with a friend
who knows the judge,
and they said if you cooperate,
they'll let it go.
But, hey, you're 18.
You do whatever you want.
Just know if you don't comply,
you won't have to answer to me.
You'll be facing
possible jail time in Utah.
It's your choice.
You know what?
I'll do the 30 days.
And you can't just go through
the motions this time, Charlie.
You have to complete the program
to their satisfaction.
That could be
longer than 30 days.
Like how long, dad?
Till after the election?
And if you leave
or get expelled,
there will be a warrant out
for your arrest.
I have to go now.
You think he'll stay?
He has no choice.
You making a break for it?
What makes you say that?
Where are you headed?
Anywhere but here.
So, what, you'd be okay
with, like, Iraq,
New Jersey?
Maybe not Jersey.
What are you doing out here?
I'm on night watch.
You're one of the staff?
Why were you in group
with everybody else?
Well, I was just there
as an observer.
I mean, I introduced myself,
but I guess you were out of it.
I'm gonna have
to report this, you know.
That wasn't funny.
It was a little funny.
Yeah, you're the next
moms mabley.
Who's that?
Oh, she's an old black comedian.
She died in the '70s.
Oh, yeah. That's me,
old, black, and dead.
Ah, she got me through, like...
like three months
at this shitty place in Utah,
her and George carlin,
Lenny Bruce, Richard pryor,
lord Buckley.
What, you're some kind
of comedy expert?
Nah, I'm just more of a fan.
But I did do some open mics.
How'd that go?
I'm on a porch in rehab
playing to a crowd of one.
How do you think it went?
That was you.
The cloves. I smoked one
at the table earlier.
It was stuck in the mesh.
I smoked it.
Well, look...
Here you go.
Full one for the road.
You sure?
It's your last one.
Yeah, I've got another pack.
I get anxious here, too.
Sterile white walls.
There's nothing there.
Nothing but you.
All right, everybody, let's go.
Two vans. Two, please.
Whoa. What are you two
doing out here?
Just having a smoke
before the meeting.
Let's go.
I'll go back.
Charlie, you coming?
I'm Daniel,
and I'm an alcoholic.
- Hi, Daniel.
- Hi, Daniel.
Now, I'm going to be running
tonight's meeting.
But before we hear
from our speaker,
I'd like to hand out
some, uh, chips
for various lengths of sobriety.
Now, all of us have had
one day at some point.
And maybe some of us still do.
So are there any newcomers
who'd like to be recognized?
- - Yeah.
Chase, alcoholic.
- Hi, chase.
- Hi, chase.
I have 37 days, so technically
I'm not a newcomer,
but since we battle
this wiley demon
one day at a time,
I can't help but feel
like a newcomer every day,
so I want to share my
experience, strength, and hope.
Anybody with 30 days
of sobriety?
I know some of you see me
as a washed-up swashbuckler
who got bored
marauding the high seas,
but I've lived all
of my adult life in California.
- That's right.
- And as I stand here
at the start of my campaign,
I want to let my opponent know
that yo, ho, ho,
and the battle's begun!
60 days?
Anyone have 60 days?
God Grant me the Serenity
to accept the things
i cannot change,
the courage to change
the things I can,
and the wisdom
to know the difference.
Hey. Here you go.
You gonna give Harper hell,
Mr. mills?
You bet.
- Oh, man, I love your work.
- Thanks.
Hey, can I get
a selfie with you?
Yeah, sure.
Oh, this is great.
Oh, that's great. Thank you.
You're welcome.
When can we get out of here?
I feel like we're
all gonna be kidnapped
and forced to squeal like pigs.
Hey, how are you?
You have one more speech
in Eureka.
Then it's San Jose,
San Luis obispo, and Fresno.
Wait. I thought
we were going back to L.A.
Before picking back up. Hi.
From here till the election,
it's pretty much wall to wall.
- Hi.
- Thank you so much.
Yes, but Charlie is
getting out of inpatient.
You knew
about these dates, honey.
Yes, I know.
Thank you. Thank you.
I appreciate it.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
But i... you know,
there's a family group
at the new sober living house,
and I thought we should
be there for him. Hi.
- Don't do this to me. Hi.
- Do what?
If you want, I can arrange
for you to fly back.
There you go, sir.
You want a burger?
- Yes.
- There you go.
- - Yes?
Hey, Drake.
I'm all packed,
so anything I need to sign,
or what?
Just a minute.
Hey, I wanted
to congratulate you
on moving forward
to the next phase
of your changes ahead
treatment program.
Thank you.
Now where are
those dotted lines, huh?
Hold on. Hold on, all right?
We gotta debrief.
It's part of our
discharge procedure.
Great. Debrief the shit
out of me.
Do you have someone responsible
- to transport you to our sober living facility?
- Absolutely.
He's very responsible.
If you'll just sign here,
and you're all set.
Well, it's been real, Drake.
You have fun
holding down the fort, okay?
Oh, I will, Charlie, and
unless you're a speed reader,
I'm sure you missed the part
about fraternizing
with people from this facility
and how it applies
to when you leave here as well.
Yeah, shouldn't be a problem.
Good. Good, but just in case,
I went ahead
and let your sober living house
know about your...
Friendship with Eva.
I let her house know as well.
No, friendship during sobriety,
not a problem.
Romance, however...
tends to get in the way.
But, like you said, that...
Shouldn't be a problem,
should it?
Yeah, right.
Good luck.
So you're finally free.
How do you feel?
Actually, not that shitty.
Can't you just say good
like a normal person?
Normal people
don't move into halfway houses.
Let's get the fuck out of here!
An all-girls halfway house.
I think you might
be on to something.
- You're an idiot.
- What?
Pussy island.
Dude, this is not
some slutty sorority, okay?
You don't just
fall asleep with a boner
and wake up with a girl
on top of it.
She knows you're coming?
- Yeah.
- You texted her?
Yeah, I told her I'd
come by right after I got out.
You told her you were
making a beeline here?
Ah, dude, so desperate.
- Stop.
- It's too eager.
Stop. Can you just wait
in the car, please?
Remember, less is more.
- Hi.
- Can I help you?
Yeah, I'm just...
I'm looking for somebody.
- You Charlie?
- Yeah.
Eva will see you at a meeting.
- No, I just wanted to say hi.
- Have a great day.
Fat fucking whale!
You know, you shouldn't
talk about whales like that.
They're an endangered species.
Go around, and...
and wait for me, okay?
- Hey.
- Hey.
Who's that?
Oh, that is
my piece-of-shit best friend.
Well, I thought
i was your best friend.
You're such the comedian.
Just fucking with you.
So are you going
to break me out of here?
Well, I thought,
you know, that we're both
out of inpatient,
and... and we got
some free time,
and, you know,
i was just thinking
that maybe we could...
i could...
can I have your number?
God, our first time
on free soil,
and you're asking for my number?
Yeah. Why, what's the matter?
You don't want to give it to me?
Not now.
You have a pen?
Tapping that
must have been a nice perk.
- I haven't.
- What?!
- Yeah.
- What are you talking about?
You're just not
making the moves?
No. No, no, no, no. It's a rehab
thing, like we'd get tossed.
- Oh. Well, that's bullshit.
- Yeah, tell me about it.
Men fuck each other in prison all the time.
What's the harm?
- Right?
- Yeah.
"It gets in the way
of your recovery."
Maybe they're trying
to motivate you, you know?
I mean, fuck.
I'd go all 12 steps
in, like, a week
to hit skins
with a girl like that.
You're an asshole.
Why am I an asshole?
Oh, 'cause I want to fuck
your new girlfriend?
Yeah, yeah.
It might be that.
Wake up at 6:30,
then morning chores,
breakfast, then inspection.
You miss anything,
you get a mark.
Being at outpatient
comes with more freedom,
but more responsibility.
You can come and go,
as long as you sign in and out.
So I can just leave?
To the gas station
or the market,
but there's a 10:00 curfew.
And you'll be given
random urine tests,
and if you fail, then...
you'll keep it between us,
right? Yeah?
If you work hard
and follow the rules,
in about a month, you'll be
eligible for an overnight pass.
There's still group,
though, right?
Every day at outpatient.
And who attends these groups?
What do you mean?
Yeah, Eva's included
in everybody.
- I didn't mean that.
- Yeah, right.
It's just good to get
different opinions.
Sure. You can look,
but you can't touch.
You'll be rooming with Jimmy.
- Hey, man.
- Hey, man.
- What's up?
- Nothing much.
Remember, Charlie,
wake up at 6:30.
All right.
So tell me,
how shitty is this place?
Compared to where we just were,
it's somewhat shitty.
- Yeah?
- I got family group tomorrow,
which is going to suck.
Ah, your mom coming?
- Yeah.
Then they got this
talent-show thing this weekend.
Oh, well, thank god
i made it for that.
- Charlie!
- Hey, Paul.
- You dirtbag.
- Ah.
Hey, you're lucky
they put you in with Jimmy.
I had chase.
Oh, yeah, chase.
"Um, alcoholic."
"Experience, strength,
and hope."
He's gone, though.
- Ah, what happened?
- Looking to score,
but he didn't want
to get tossed,
so he punched a cement wall,
broke his hand.
He thought
he'd get some painkillers,
but all they gave him was advil,
so he flipped out and split.
Well, I guess his program
lost some of its rigor.
- I guess so.
Now I'm stuck with Dylan.
That guy Jacks off
right in front of me
like I'm not even there.
How do you deal with that?
I guess you just got to accept
the things
you cannot change, right?
I guess so.
Western civ.
Hey, Adam.
How's my favorite degenerate?
Ah, really good.
Got any plans this weekend?
- - Not really.
Actually there's
a talent show this Friday,
and some asshole signed me up.
- You gonna do stand-up?
- Fuck, no.
You are doing stand-up,
and I'm coming.
- Text me the address.
- I will do no such thing.
You will do just such a thing,
and I will see you Friday night.
I don't know what I did wrong.
I tried to be a good mom.
When he was young,
his teachers loved him,
said he lit up the classroom.
And then...
All my hopes, my dreams...
What have I ever done to you
but love you?
Do you have anything
you'd like to say to that?
Not really.
Thank you for being so open
and... and sharing, Kathy.
Thank you.
Kathy, are you okay?
I-I'm fine.
I just relate
to what Kathy was saying.
Of course. Fine.
The crying kathies.
Dylan, I am so glad
that both of your moms
could be here today.
Well, it's not so bad.
It's a little like a fraternity.
Yeah. Yeah, you can just
pretend that I'm in college.
Charlie, that's not
what I was saying.
I know. I know.
Travis seems nice.
Yeah. Yeah,
he's really cool.
He says that
if I work really hard,
that I could get
an overnight pass.
- Well, that's great.
- Yeah.
But both you and dad
have to sign off on it.
Well, if Travis says it's okay,
then I don't see why dad
would have a problem with it.
Could you talk to him?
- Sure.
- Thanks.
Of course.
So what have you been up to?
You know...
Same old campaign stuff,
boring speeches
and a lot
of nodding and smiling.
But what about you?
Have you made any friends here?
Yeah. Yeah, I made...
well, I've gotten pretty close
with a couple of the guys.
- That's good.
- Yeah.
What is that? I...
Oh, that?
That is the number
of my new dealer.
- Funny.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
- No, it's just...
it's somebody that I met.
Is this someone a girl?
Aha. What's her name?
- Eva. Yeah.
- Eva.
And when do we
get to meet this Eva?
All right, everyone.
It's time to say
your good-byes.
I got to go.
No, yeah.
Wait. Charlie, Charlie,
I love you.
I love you, too, mom.
- 'Kay.
- All right.
See ya.
- Talk to dad.
- I will.
Do you feel a connection?
i think I just stepped in it.
Tell me more about that.
Okay, class,
take a deep breath in,
and move into downward dog.
- Huh?
- What are you doing?
I'm focusing on my breathing.
Son, you've been nothing
but a disappointment to me.
What do you want to say
to your dad?
I don't know.
"Fuck you"?
Okay, quick check-in.
Charlie, how's it going?
Really good, actually.
I feel like I'm
finally turning a corner.
That's great.
Not bad.
I got my Internet privileges
and my roommate was gone
this weekend,
so I had a lot of alone time.
Okay, okay.
That's enough.
I don't know.
It's okay.
This is a safe place.
It's just...
I thought that
once I got out of inpatient,
that things were going
to feel a lot better.
But they don't.
So a priest, a rabbi,
and a minister,
they're on a sinking ship,
And the rabbi gets up,
and he says,
"hey, let the women
and children go first."
And the minister gets up.
He says, "fuck the children."
And the priest gets up,
and he looks at his watch,
and he says,
"you think there's time?"
- I don't get it.
- Really fucked up.
- Hey.
- That's...
Hey, Eva. Hey.
What's going on?
Talk to me.
I can't.
I don't want to.
Hey, some... some idiot
signed me up
for the talent show
tomorrow night.
I tried to take my name
off the list,
but they wouldn't let me.
I don't think
I'm going to do it, though.
You should.
Because it'd make me happy.
Come on.
Doesn't this make you happy?
This? I mean, what...
what the fuck is this, Charlie?
It's so... it's so retarded.
It's like we're
in fucking middle school.
Come on.
We need to get
an overnight pass.
I know. I'm trying.
Try harder.
Okay, thank you.
Thank you.
- It's...
- Come on. You should go.
Such bravery
being shown here tonight.
Okay, who's next?
Charlie, just go.
- No.
- You gotta.
Remember that this is a...
a nonthreatening place
where you can explore
and express yourself.
Charlie mills.
- Would you like to come up?
- I'm not gonna do it.
- You have to.
- I'm not gonna do it.
Why do you want me
to do it so bad?
- I signed you up.
- Charlie.
- Do it.
- All right, man.
Hi, everybody.
You know, I was a little
nervous getting up here today
when I heard it was
going to be a talent show.
But after watching you all,
I feel a whole lot better.
I'm not trying
to be critical.
I know it's hard,
but now I understand
why you all do drugs.
I know what you're thinking.
I do.
You know, "who is this kid with
the silver spoon in his mouth,
and why does he
keep cooking heroin in it?"
Total waste of a good utensil.
So, yeah,
my dad's a piece of shit.
Yeah, I mean, he...
I don't really have
a joke there.
I just wanted to say it.
As you all know,
he's running for governor.
It's a big deal. He's
hanging up the old eye patch
for, you know,
the governor's mansion.
And, you know, I hear a lot of
people these days on the news.
They're telling that he's cold,
that he's distant,
he's not really there, but,
you know, I'll you right now,
that's not true.
It's not.
Hell, his mother was the only
woman in medical history
to have an igloo for a pussy,
but that's not relevant.
E-excuse me.
Do you think that works
for this situation?
Really, shiela?
Dylan just recited a haiku
that was clearly
about his penis, okay?
- We don't know that.
- I think we do.
Now, I'm not here to talk
about other people's penises,
okay? I'm here
to talk about my own.
Now, as you all know,
when you enter rehab,
you get strip-searched.
If I had known that
that would be the last time
that anybody
would touch my balls,
I would have tried
to enjoy it more.
All right, you're done.
You're done.
You know, and there's
this beautiful couch
in the halfway house,
this soft, plush leather,
and if I don't get action soon,
I'm gonna fuck it.
I'm gonna fuck that couch.
- All right?
- Okay.
- Oh, shiela, you look
- a little winded there, huh?
- That's enough.
You got to try meth, okay?
It's bad for the complexion.
You kinda lose your mind,
but it's great for keeping
the old weight down.
Hey! That is
entirely inappropriate.
- In this crowd, Drake?
- Yeah.
Listen, raise your hand if you
ever sold your ass for drugs!
You were funny, man.
Heh. Thanks.
I can't publicly endorse
what you did,
but you got something.
It's not for everybody.
It's for you,
just being up there.
I don't know.
Yeah, you do.
You just got to stay focused,
keep doing what you're doing.
You been killing it
since you got here.
Thanks, man.
You know,
I'm actually considering
giving you an overnight.
But the shiela fat jokes
are going to cost you
toilet duty for a week.
You're really
getting in there, dude.
Got to embrace the work.
I don't know.
As a recovering junkie,
I'm pretty hesitant
to get on my knees.
Hey, unlike you,
that does not bring back
any memories.
Hey, I never sucked dick.
Good for you.
Some guy did blow me once,
It was for some h.
Some guy sucked your dick
for heroin?
Sure. Why is it
such a big deal?
I'm not gay.
I was desperate.
But you gave some guy heroin
to suck your dick,
so technically speaking...
wait. No, no, no, no.
He gave me the h.
I was jonesing.
Wait. That doesn't
make any sense.
It was a fucked-up time.
I'm not proud of it.
Hold... but wait. Wait.
Hold on. Hold on.
Some guy gave you heroin
to suck your dick?
It's not that complicated.
- But...
- addiction is a disease, man!
No, I get why you did it.
I get what you got out of it.
- What does he get out of it?
- Fuck if I know.
Ah, I can't believe
I'm saying this,
but that doesn't sound
like such a bad deal.
Yeah, if you close your eyes
and think of Jessica alba,
it's really not
that much of a difference.
Although he had,
like, this goatee.
Yo, Travis,
do you think it's gay...
if you got to ask,
the answer is yes.
Good work, Charlie.
What the hell are you doing?
I get more leverage
when I use my foot.
That's a mark right there.
One more week of this shit.
Maybe if you let him blow you.
Fuck you.
So I spoke
to Charlie's counselor,
and according
to the house manager,
he has been a model member.
- He got an extension...
- I'm sorry to interrupt.
Mr. mills, I just want
to shake your hand.
Oh, thank you.
- Ah, man, yeah.
- Hi.
We're all pulling for you.
Appreciate it.
And I'm a big fan of your films.
- Thank you so much.
- Yo, ho, ho,
- and the battle's begun.
Thank you, man.
You got it.
Take care.
Well, I told you.
He's just a regular guy.
Got to love those likely voters.
- So as I was saying...
- Yeah.
I spoke to Charlie's counselor,
and they are inclined
to give him an overnight pass
this weekend,
but we both
have to sign off on it.
Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm not sure
that's such a good idea, honey.
Why not?
Well, because we're only
three weeks away
from the election.
He's been sober for months.
Honey, just three weeks.
Well, I already told him
we would sign off on it.
- What?
- Yeah.
- Honey. Honey.
- How many more times
do we have to talk about this?
He is even more handsome
in person.
Oh, hey. Ah, thank you.
- Oh, look at those eyes.
- Ah, thank you.
What the fuck, man?!
I just sent it to a few friends.
- Fuck!
- This girl I've been seeing
is on this
student activities thing
that books comics
for college shows.
- She loved you.
- Great. Great.
I'm glad some random girl
you're boning thinks I'm funny.
- I can die happy now.
- I thought I was helping.
You're not helping.
I was this fucking close
to getting
an overnight with Eva,
and if this video gets out,
it's done.
Sorry, man. Fuck.
I didn't think about that.
It's all right.
I just... I worked
really hard for this.
Well, a wise man once said
work makes you free.
Pretty sure the Nazis said that.
I heard it in class.
It was first said by
this German writer in the 1800s
about the cleansing nature
of work.
And the Nazis put that shit
on a big sign outside Auschwitz.
- Really?
- Yeah.
The Nazis stole
all the good ideas.
Hey, Charlie.
Something I wanted
to talk to you about.
Listen, are you with mom?
No, she... she went out. Why?
Well, just...
look, there's this pass
that I been meaning
to talk to you about.
My house manager says...
yeah, that's what
i wanted to discuss.
I don't think
it's such a good idea right now.
You need more time.
No, dad, I think
you need more time.
You know,
have a great fucking day. Fuck!
Hey, brother in recovery.
You up for some fellowship?
Got my pass.
I got it.
I got this cousin in Marina
to sign off on it.
I'm all yours.
Eva, i...
stop, please.
God, i-i want you
to fuck me.
Stop. Eva, stop.
I didn't get it.
- What?
- I didn't get the pass.
- My dad pulled the plug.
- What are you talking about?
Charlie, I can't do this.
- I just can't do this any...
- look, hey, come on.
Don't say that. Stop.
We have nothing.
That's not true. It's not true.
Yeah, that's right.
We have our sobriety.
A Jewish fella and a chinaman
were standing on a corner,
arguing about who the greatest
man that ever lived.
An irishman walked up.
He said, "if you tell me
who the greatest man
that ever lived,
I'll give you $500 in cash."
So the chinaman said,
"chiang Kai-shek."
He said, "nah."
And then the Jewish fella
says, "Saint Patrick?"
He said, "you're right,"
reached his hand in his pocket,
gave him the $500,
and walked away.
And the Jewish fella
looked at the $500.
He said, "i had Moses in mind,
but business is business."
Wake up, man.
Mm. No.
What'd you say?
Scrub your own fucking toilets.
What the hell
are you talking about?
It's your pass today.
You been riding me
about an overnight
since you got here.
Now you don't want to leave?
Your ride is outside.
Come on.
- What?
- Yeah.
- Hey.
- Hi.
How'd you convince dad?
Mm, so you're going to need
a place to stay.
How 'bout the beach house?
Why are you doing this?
Because you earned it.
Why don't you ever
take me someplace nice?
'Cause I don't like you
that much.
Got to stab a lot of people
with fake swords to get this.
So, this is the living room.
This is the kitchen.
This is the deck out there.
There's the sitting chair thing.
There's the beach.
Do you want... do you want
to go check out the ocean?
Can we check it out
from the bedroom?
That was great.
I mean...
A little quick, but...
Just kidding.
Greatest 30 seconds of my life.
Great. Yeah.
Glad you're having fun.
I am.
I am.
You know what would be
so great right now?
A drink.
I know what you mean.
Didn't I see a wine rack
in the kitchen?
Are you serious?
Why not?
If we fail our urines,
we get tossed.
How many times
have you bragged to me
about beating those?
You're not having a good time?
I am.
It's just...
- You have a good time?
- Yeah.
No sarcasm.
There's a first.
You haven't done any meth, no x,
no barbiturates, no opiates,
no coke.
You should be proud
sticking it out another day.
Yeah, when can I hang my hat
on something more
than just sticking it out?
You haven't been on the streets
shooting dope.
You can hang a hell of a lot
more than your hat on that.
What if you still
think about it?
The cravings?
That's all they are,
as long as you
don't act on them.
Do they ever go away?
Think of how hard it was
for you scoring drugs
and maintaining that lifestyle.
Why should this be any easier?
You got to work.
I see other people...
ah, other people.
Other pe... you can't worry
about other people,
especially other addicts.
Getting sober
is a selfish thing,
because getting high
was selfish.
Yeah, but I thought sobriety
was about helping people.
Yes, it is,
but you got
to help yourself first.
If the plane's going down,
you put your oxygen mask on
first, right?
I mean, you wouldn't
go all "baywatch"
on a drowning person
if you don't know how to swim.
You know how to swim, Charlie?
You know,
everyone keeps telling me
that, you know, he comes across
cold and distant...
What is this?
What am I looking at?
- It's Charlie doing...
- I know who it is.
- I want to know what it is.
- It's on the Internet, sir.
It has over 50,000 hits.
- - Are you telling me
over 50,000 people
have seen this?
So far. It's growing.
Take the goddamn thing down.
Only the person
who posted it can do that.
This is beyond fucked.
I mean, you could try
reaching out to rawdogginit15.
Is it possible this could be
coming from the Harper campaign?
There's no evidence
of that, sir.
This is a fucking disaster.
We'll craft a response
and issue a press avail.
Do it.
Do it now.
Fuck. I thought we were past
the whole waiting-to-text thing.
Just be happy you're
pulling some ass in this place.
I mean, what if
something happened to her?
I hope something
did happen to her.
Then you'll actually have
something to complain about.
Morning. You guys good?
- Yeah.
- Group's in half an hour.
Let's get a move on it.
Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
I have just come
from a very substantive
and productive meeting
with the head of the s.C.I.U.,
and I am delighted to announce
that they have pledged
their full support.
I have always
stood up for the workforce,
and they know that I will stand
shoulder to shoulder with them
on living wages and good
health and retirement benefits.
But I'm sure that you're
not all here for that reason.
Many of you may have
seen a comedy performance
that my son did, that has
been posted on the Internet.
First of all, you should know
that Charlie had
nothing to do with that posting.
He was merely fooling around
and having some fun at a party.
He and I spoke earlier today,
and he is behind me 100%.
And, quite frankly,
i found some of it pretty funny.
Isn't it true your son has
struggled with substance abuse
and is currently at
a rehab facility in Los Angeles?
We have never
tried to hide the fact
that Charlie
has had his challenges.
But, no, he is not in rehab.
I'm happy to report
he is sober and doing great.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.
Mr. mills has a meeting
with the superintendent
of public instruction.
You seen Eva?
She was at the house last night.
I mean, she should be here.
Hey, man.
Did you... you see
your dad on the news?
He was talking 'bout you.
Hey, you seen Eva?
You haven't heard?
Heard what?
She took off.
Took off? W-when?
This morning.
What the fuck?
Why do you think?
Charlie, come on, man.
Come on. Talk to me.
Say what?
What do you want me to say, huh?
What can you say?
You say it.
Say it, man.
- Say what?
- Why are you doing this, huh?
- Say it. Be a man, and tell me!
- Ha!
You're about to throw
everything away,
and you can't even tell me why.
Look, I know
what you're going to say.
Work the program? Hmm?
One day at a time.
Let go, and let god.
What do I have that's mine?
You got you, man,
and that's all you'll ever have.
You think drugs
are going to change that?
Look, man, I'm not...
I'm not leaving for drugs.
Leaving for a girl,
is there a difference?
Look, man, I just...
i can't stay here anymore, okay?
This place,
it's like a fucking prison.
It's not even close.
You see these?
You think I got these
at a tattoo parlor in Hollywood?
Be grateful it's 90 days here
and not two years in county.
But don't worry.
If you're not dead,
you'll probably end up
there anyway.
Look, I don't give a shit, okay?
I don't. Fuck that, okay?
If those...
if those charges in Utah
come back and bite me,
so be it.
What are you talking about?
There's nothing in your files
about charges.
And the political season now
is beginning to heat up
all over the country.
With less than two weeks
to the election,
the California governor's race
is beginning...
To look like a toss-up...
What the fuck was that?
...and in Southern California,
as you can see,
are showing a dead heat
in many areas.
The demographics are what's
going to make the difference...
- Stay here.
- In this gubernatorial race.
Jesus, Charlie.
What the fuck are you doing?
Hey, dad.
It's great to see you.
You know,
i just thought I'd stop by.
- Ah, yeah.
- Yeah.
Is this how you want
to live your life, huh?
Messing things up so that daddy
has to clean up after you?
- Clean up after me?
- Yeah.
Yeah, if it's not smashing
a church window,
it's stealing a car.
If you're not stealing a car,
posting a video.
What are you talking about?
It's all over
the fucking Internet.
What, you going
to deny that now?
- Adam.
- Oh, yeah, sure.
Keep blaming other people
for your shit.
Why can't you just be honest
and own something for once?!
Honesty. Great. I'm really glad
you brought that up, dad.
I am, because, you know,
I was never a big fan
of your pirate movies,
but that sociopath
you played on the phone
with that Utah bullshit,
that was spot on.
- Bravo.
- You let me no choice.
Oh, no choice. You're going
to talk to me about choice?
You've had plenty
of fucking choices, Charlie!
Yeah, rehab or jail.
You know,
quite a wide selection there.
You're really going to do this?
- Was... was that Charlie?
- Uh-huh.
- Well, where's he going?
- I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know?
I don't know.
He didn't tell me.
He just stole the car
and took off. Same old shit.
Hey, it's Eva.
Leave me a message.
- Hello.
- Eva?
No. Who the fuck is this?
Where'd you get this phone?
- Some girl sold it to me.
- Where?
Hey, I bought it
fair and square.
Where the fuck
did she sell it to you?
- Venice.
- Where in venice?
I don't know.
Somewhere on the boardwalk.
No, I don't want him arrested.
just keep an eye on him.
'Cause if anything does happen,
obviously we need
to know about it, right?
Hey. Hey, don't run away.
Come on. Give me a second. Eva!
- Eva!
- What?!
Just look at me, all right?
Just give me a fucking minute,
all right?
Listen, you don't think I know
what you're going through?
I've ditched
a thousand of these places.
It's different.
Yeah, it's fucking different.
I love you.
So... so, what?
Then it's... it's us
against the world?
I get lost in you,
and you get lost in me,
and we live happily ever after?
I can't outrun this.
Come home with me.
Now, with a political campaign
of this magnitude,
it's got to take some toll
on your family.
Well, I'm glad
you asked that question, Eddie.
We wouldn't be doing this
if we didn't think we could make
a significant impact
on our education system
and ultimately on the health
of our sagging economy.
So can I ask
how your son's holding up?
- He...
- it's not that easy for him.
He's had a hard time.
We spoke to him
early this morning,
and he's doing just fine.
All right, thank you so much
for joining us today.
- Thank you.
- All right, you're watching
our exclusive interview
with David and liseanne mills
just two weeks away
from California's
gubernatorial election.
For fox 11 news,
I'm Edward Barnes.
Back to you, guys.
All right, we're clear.
They found liseanne's s.U.V.
At the Malibu house,
but no Charlie.
I mean, what do you
want me to do, huh?!
Personally search
every crack house
and meth lab in the city?
Every counselor, every therapist
- told us the same thing!
- Mm-hmm.
Be strong!
Hold the boundaries!
- Yes.
- That's what they told us!
They also tell you
to lie to your son?
Did they do that?
We've been
through all that already.
No, he came a thousand miles
with nothing,
- and we turned him away!
- That's right.
Yes, and you lied to him,
and you lied to me!
- Oh, yeah?
- Yes! Yes!
What do you call
going behind my back
and giving him
an overnight pass?!
- What do you call that?!
- I love him.
- Oh, and I don't love him!
- I don't know!
He's our son!
Of course I fucking love him!
One of us had to keep him safe.
For him, or for you?
I'm trying to sleep, Jean Luc.
Hey, you awake?
Hey, you got
enough to cut tonight?
I don't know.
It's kinda late, dude.
I know a guy
who's got some real fire.
- - I'm down.
Estamos aqu.
Take the money.
Fucking get the money.
Is that you?
Talk to me, please.
- Come on!
Hey, man.
What the fuck happened to you?
Can I stay here?
Forget it, man.
She's a bitch.
- She's not a bitch.
- She is a bitch.
She is a weak-willed bitch
that you left you hanging
with your dick in your hand.
- You're better than that.
- Oh, yeah.
I'm way better.
I'm strung out,
got no money
and a fucked-up face.
Why is the glass always
half-fucking-shattered with you?
Look, you can stay here with me
as long as you want, all right?
We'll hit some parties,
meet some ladies.
You can do whatever you want.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, just no heroin.
Think you can handle that?
You bet.
And you got to cut
this sad sack-of-shit routine.
It is just total
pussy repellent.
Not to mention you smell
like a fat person's ass
that's been wandering
around Disneyland all day.
- I'll take a shower.
- Please.
For the sake of mankind.
It is...
- Yeah, yeah.
- Really pungent.
Oh, god.
Hey, remember,
tomorrow's a new day.
Oh, you think of that
all by yourself?
Yo, hey.
I'm gonna fuck her.
- Eh?
- Lucky girl.
Whoa, whoa!
Devon, get over here!
Come on.
This is my boy Charlie.
He just got out of rehab.
- He's a bad boy.
- Oh, really?
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.
I'm absolutely terrible.
So what program are you in?
None of 'em.
So you're ucla?
So where do you go to school?
You really care?
Has he been with Adam
the whole time?
No. He's been to a couple
different homeless shelters,
then the streets.
Should we bring him in?
Just keep an eye on him.
Suck it down, bitch.
Drink it.
- Did you drink the whole thing?
- Ohh!
- Party!
- Ohh!
Oh, suck it!
- Oh, my god!
- What?!
- Oh, my...
oh, I want to feel
a little of that.
That's it.
That's all right there.
You were on fire tonight, baby.
Oh, man.
Yo, this could have been us
the whole fucking time.
- I know.
- Yeah.
Hey, come here.
Bring it in.
- Fucking love you, man.
- Love you, too, man.
I love you, though.
I love you.
- I love you, man.
- You being honest?
- Yeah, mostly.
- You feel it, really?
I love most things about you.
Don't have to get into it.
That was tight.
I'm gonna make
the star of David.
- Really?
- Yeah. It's my heritage.
Just let me do it.
Fuck it.
Hey, what was the name
of that...
- that ugly chick?
- Um...
Stacey Chapman?
No, no, the other one.
Fuck, what's her name?
You know, she had the big nose
and the really close-set eyes.
She looked kind
of like Paul giamatti.
- Jenny henson.
- Yes! Paul...
- yes! Yes!
Fucking Paul giamatti.
- Jenny "Paul giamatti" henson.
- Giamatti henson.
Oh, my god.
You know, she was the one
that ratted us out
when we released
those mice
from the science room.
You still holding on
to that shit?
Fuck, yeah,
I'm still holding on to that.
You gotta let go of that, man.
Yeah, easy for you to say.
You never fucking got caught.
I never dodged
a single fucking bullet.
Yeah, well, sometimes
you dodge one, you just...
you move in front of another.
You never fucking know.
Yeah, like you ever got hit.
You kidding me, dude?
You're fucking teflon.
You do whatever you want.
You never get
a fucking scratch on you.
Yeah, yeah, that's me.
I'm un-fucking-scathed.
- Yeah.
- That's what you think?
- That's what I know.
- Really?
You kidding me?
That night at Jackson's.
Perfect. Let's talk
about the night at Jackson's.
Let's talk about it.
All right, so...
We all took the same shit.
Jackson o.D.'D,
I got shipped off to wilderness,
and you, you went back
to school the next day.
Am I missing something?
Well, it just as easily could
have gone to shit for me, too.
But it didn't.
That's the point.
Two very large men
did not come into your room
at 4:00 A.M.,
kidnap you,
drag you off to the desert.
You got a total fucking pass.
Pass? After the police
showed up and took Jackson
to the hospital, my parents
came and picked me up.
The entire ride home,
they didn't say anything to me,
nothing, not one word. Okay?
I was sitting there
in the backseat,
waiting for the hammer to drop,
but they didn't say anything.
All this fucking silence
was unbearable.
10 minutes from the house
i just... I confessed everything.
What'd they say?
That's the point.
Absolutely nothing.
They didn't open their mouths
until we got home,
and then all they said then was,
"go to your room,
and do your homework.
You got your interview
at Harvard-westlake in a week."
Jackson almost died,
and I was all fucked up,
and all they cared about
was my fucking homework.
I mean, i-i could have
track marks up and down my arms,
and as long
as I had good grades,
you know,
that's all that mattered.
It's like all they cared about
was that fucking bumper sticker.
"My son is an honor student."
Enough of that emotional shit,
right? We're all good now.
Ah, fuck.
Oh. I'm thinking
about taking some classes here.
- Dude.
- Yeah.
- Do it.
- Yeah.
- Join me, baby!
- Ah, fuck it.
You think I could
do the college thing?
Oh, yeah. You're doing it
right now. This is it.
Well, I got to get my g.E.D.
It's easy. Just get that,
and you're golden.
Ahh. Should I get a tutor?
Nah, dude. Just get a book.
You'll be fine.
- Want some of this?
- Yeah.
- Oh, shit.
- What?
Your no... oh.
Ah, fuck.
The bleeding stopped, so...
Adam, what the fuck
are you doing?
Ah, fuck. Adam.
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my god, fuck.
Adam. Adam. Hey, buddy!
Come on! Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Hey, I'm getting help.
- Ah, fuck.
- 911. What's your emergency?
Okay, here, buddy.
Stay with me, man.
Stay with me, man!
Come on.
- Come on. Hey. Okay.
- 911. What is your emergency?
I need an ambulance.
My friend did too much shit.
Ah, fuck!
I don't know what to do.
- What is your location?
- Can you just hurry up? Please.
It's 158 olive street.
Just hurry, please. Please.
- Fuck. Fuck. Come on!
- Sir, if you could remain calm.
- Fuck!
- Sir...
got the whole floor
and stairwell, too?
Yeah, go ahead.
We're clear.
So, what can you tell me?
You didn't see anything?
Remember anything?
Take your time.
Look, man, we just don't want
any more dead kids turning up.
Did you put this kid
in the system?
- I did, sir.
- Pull him.
Put him in an empty cell,
and give him a bed.
Hey, Charlie.
Come on. Let's go.
Your mom's outside.
We want you to come home.
With only three days before
Californians cast their ballots
and the race being
as tight as it is,
this could be
the eleventh-hour event
that swings this thing
away from mills.
Unless the voters
have already begged in
mills' issues with his son.
It's one thing to have
a child with drug problems.
It's another
to be involved in a death.
Mills' son was completely
cleared of any involvement
in his friend's death.
I'm just saying,
in some voters' minds,
there will always
be lingering doubts.
Get that truck out!
Hey, Jase, can you take this?
You look better.
Why did he have to die?
I don't know.
I don't want to die.
That's good.
Hey, mom, I don't...
I don't think
i can stay here tonight.
I know.
That's okay.
Mr. mills, Mrs. mills,
who did you two vote for?
Well, I can't speak for my wife,
but I'm sure you can figure out
who I voted for.
Thank you.
With all the other counties
reporting in
and with Santa Cruz
going to Harper,
mills looks to be in trouble.
It's going to come to down
to little del norte,
population 28,000,
and all Harper needs
is 45% of the vote
in what has traditionally been
a republican stronghold.
Hey, Jenny. How are you?
Thanks for coming.
No returns from Santa Cruz
or del norte have come in.
Well, what the hell
are they doing up there,
counting votes
on their fucking fingers?
Excuse me, sir.
Are you all right?
Does it matter?
Is... is Charlie coming back?
I don't know.
Why don't we go inside, huh?
Come on.
Let's go sit down, okay?
Did we win?
Doesn't look that way.
I'd really like you to be there
for my concession speech,
There's a first,
you having to make a concession.
Here. Come on.
Can you just... ucch.
- Okay.
I miss our boy.
All right, look.
I'm going to get you
some coffee, okay?
- All right?
- Just wait right here.
- Yeah.
We did it.
Did what?
We took del norte
by seven points.
Can't be.
7.2 to be exact.
You're wanted out there,
In a shocking upset,
mills has beat out
his opponent Thomas Harper
in del norte county.
Fox 11 news is now prepared
to call this election
for the new governor
of the state of California,
David mills.
Let's get the whole family
up here. Liseanne, Charlie,
come up onstage.
Did not expect this to happen,
and right now, they are chanting
for their new governor
David mills.
Please welcome the new governor
of California,
Mr. David mills!
And, yep, here he comes.
Let's focus in on him.
Mills! Mills! Mills!
Mills! Mills! Mills!
Mills! Mills! Mills!
Mills! Mills! Mills!
Mills! Mills!
Thank you.
Thank you.
You're up early.
Haven't gone to sleep yet.
What are you doing?
Just cleaning up.
You need some help?
I'm fine.
Mind if I sit?
It's your house.
I know you're angry at me,
and you probably don't want
to hear this right now,
but I do love you.
I'm sorry.
Every expert with a desk
and a diploma
told me
i had to be tough on you.
But every time we sent you away
to another one
of those programs,
i-i saw you slipping
further away from us.
And all I could
tell myself was...
I'd rather have you alive
and hating me...
Than dead on the streets.
So what do you want me to do?
Tell me what to do.
You don't have to do anything.
You want
to come up to sacramento?
- Get away from all the...
- What?
The drugs?
It was never about the drugs.
All I ever wanted was...
A way to kill the noise.
But the more I used, the...
the louder it got.
I was part of the noise,
wasn't I?
What are you going to do?
I don't know.
I'll figure it out.
I don't hate you.
I don't.
You take good care
of yourself, okay?
Hey, so...
Did you win?
All right.
If they say
you only have a year to live,
do it sober.
It'll seem like an eternity.
It's been kind of
a weird year for me.
You know, I managed to get fired
from an unpaid internship.
Do you know
how bad you have to be
to get fired from a job
that you're
not getting paid for?
It's like if the pharaoh
came up to you, and he said,
"I'm not letting
all your people go. Just you."
Yeah, but things
have not been much better
with the girls either.
It hasn't.
You know,
from my limited experience,
I found that girls,
for some reason,
have a problem
with stand-up comics.
I don't know why.
I mean, they say that they
want a guy to make them laugh,
a guy that has a sense of humor,
but making them laugh just
never quite closes the deal.
You could be the greatest
stand-up of all time,
and you won't get
half as much pussy
as your average bass player.
I'm kind of embarrassed to say
that I've been
checking out tinder.
- Ohh.
Ah, I've got a few regulars
in the audience here.
You know, I take that back.
Tinder is the greatest
invention of the 21st century.
I mean, fuck Twitter,
Facebook, instagram,
all that bullshit
with the likes and the comments
and the fucking followers.
Tinder is the only app
where people who like you
will actually fuck you.