Best Laid Plans (1999) Movie Script
[Fire Crackling]
[Patsy Cline Playing]
OK, another...|Charles Eppker.
Charles... Charles|is a large fellow.
Played football.
People called him|''Chunky.''
That's right.
He still plays--
back-up center|in the Canadian league.
All this remember-when,|where-are-they-now shit.
That was college.
Can we please talk|about something else?
You know what?|I had a thought.
Shit. No.
Yes. Last night I was|reading The History
of Twentieth Century|America in your honor.
Whose, Manchester's?
No. Big thick text|by...
Schlessinger.|Halberston.
I'm not going to|remember.
Well, authors' names|don't really matter
in your trade, anyway,|do they?
I work in the English|department.
We deal in fiction.
I can tell the little|shits any name I like.
Your thought?
Oh, yes. Right.|I was reading 1 960s
sexual revolution free|love wife-swapping--
sort of like|an after-dinner,
free-spirit parlor game.
The husbands used to|throw their key chains
onto the table,|mix them up,
then the wives would all|pick them up blindly.
Buddies fucking|each other's wives,
et cetera, et cetera.
Now think when|our parents were born.
OK, now, think|when we were born.
We could be the offspring|of a key chain adultery.
You get it? We may not|be our fathers' sons.
Oh, it gives me hope,|anyway.
Waitress: Two more 7 and 7 s.
Jesus, another round?
Thank you.
I haven't finished|this one yet.
Thank you.
To your first month|in Tropico.
Stay hydrated.
Everybody sucks but us.
[Sirens]
Man: Oh, I have|a joke for you.
There's this elephant|in the jungle,
and he's got a thorn|caught in his foot.
This mouse wanders by.|Elephant stops him
and says, '' Hey,|I'll give you anything
if you take the thorn|out of my foot.''
[Groaning]
[Telephone Ringing]
Hi. How'd it go?
Man: Nick, I--I--|Nick, can you do me a favor?
Bryce?
Can you come over here?|Yeah, it's me.
I know it's late,|but I need you to--
Yeah. No.|I was expecting--
Well, it-- it's me.|I got a problem over here.
I got--|I got a serious--
OK. Can it wait?|Because it's after--
Can't wait.|I need a friend to talk to.
Look, I'm in big|fucking shit!
OK.
Please. Please, Nick.
OK.
[Tearful]|Thanks, buddy. Bye.
Bye.
[Firemen Shouting]
How'd this happen?
Ah, brush fire season.
The slightest thing will|spark one of these off.
You want to take a left|here and proceed slowly
up towards the right,|all right? Drive safe.
Thanks.
[Firemen Shouting]
[Knock On Door]
[Beeping]
Oh, shit.
Morning.
Hey.
Jesus, you look|like I feel.
Well, I feel|like it, too.
You want a beer?
All I've got|is domestic shit.
That'll be fine.
Thanks.
These people you're sitting for,|they keep a lovely home.
So, you want to tell me|why I'm here?
I got laid tonight.
How wonderful for you.
No.
I didn't bring you here|at 2:00 a.m.
for bragging rights, OK?|Because if I tell you this,
you got to make sure
you're not going|to tell anybody,
that it stays between us.|OK, Nick? OK?
The girl that|we met at the bar?
- Katie?|- No. Kathy.
Oh, boy. What happened?
You left. She and I--|we talked for a while.
You know,|she bought me a round.
And then she asked|if I wanted to leave,
and so we came here.
So we starting making out.|She initiated it.
She did this funny thing|with her hand.
And she was kissing me,|like squeezing my jaw.
Bryce, broad strokes.|Broad strokes.
Sorry. Sorry.
It's like I blinked,|and we were naked.
And then I, uh...|We did it.
Yeah?
Afterwards, she went|to the bathroom.
Couple minutes,|came out,
asked if I had|any vitamin C.
- What?|- Yeah.
So I went upstairs,|and I found some,
and I came back down.
And she had called|a cab
and said|she was going home,
and that|when she got there,
she was going to|call the police
and file rape charges|against me.
She says I raped her,|Nick.
Bryce, is there|any truth to this?
No. I'm sorry
because I haven't seen|you since college
and suddenly I lay|all this shit on you.
Is there any truth|to what she's saying?
I don't--|I don't think so.
You don't think so,|or you know so?
Listen,|I was pretty drunk,
and I can't fucking|remember
if she tried to stop|anything.
But she says she did.
Are you just hazy on this,|or were you--
No. It's a mix.
I was in and out|during the act.
I don't remember!
Well, you don't seem|very drunk right now.
Well, a chick|accusing you of rape
will sober you up|just like that.
Jesus.
I don't know.|Maybe--
Maybe she won't|go through with it.
Otherwise, I don't know|what to tell you, Bryce.
Sit tight,|for Christ's sake.
Whatever you do, don't|tell anyone about this--
not now, not ever.
What?
Oh, fuck.
Oh, Nick,|I really fucked up!
Bryce?
You know, Nick,|can you talk to her?
Just tell her|it was an accident.
Fuck! I hate to lay|this shit on you.
Hey. Hey. Shh.|Calm down, OK?
Hey. The girl is gone.
There's nothing|we can do. OK?
No.
Come on, Bryce.
No! She's not gone!
She's downstairs!
God. She's downstairs.
This is going to look|worse than it is.
See, after she said|what she said, after
what she was|going to do, I--
See, Nick,|I didn't hit her.
All I did was grab her|and drag her,
and then, coming down|the stairs, she fell...
Where are the lights?
Over on the wall.
What the fuck|are you doing?
I, um, well, uh, I need|to think through this.
Not what are you|thinking,
what the fuck|are you doing?
How long has she|been down here?
I'm not sure
because my sense of time|is all fucked up.
Guess.
Um, I dragged her down,|and I tried to talk to her,
and I called you.|Maybe half an hour?
You didn't touch|her after that?
No, Nick, I swear|I didn't touch her.
[Crying Softly]
Bryce: Nick--
No!Just--Just|hold on a minute. Um...
But, Nick--
Oh, fuck!
[Kathy Crying]
Nick, come on.|It's not my place.
Goddamn it, Bryce.
Look, I'm sorry, Nick.|When she said
that she was going to|call the cops,
I tried to stop her to|find out what happened,
and she kept going|for the door,
and I just lost it.
Nick, I swear to God,
I didn't touch her|after that.
It's OK. It's OK.
Where'd you get these?
Upstairs. I found them|in the parents' bedroom.
You have the key?
The key? Why?
I'm going to|take them off.
Uh-huh.|And then what?
And then I'm going|to drive her home.
Bryce: Could we talk|about this first?
Bryce, give me the key!
I know this looks bad,|and I screwed up.
But I don't think|I did before
what she said I did,
and I want to|talk about it first.
What is there|to talk about?
What the hell|is going to happen to me
if we just let her go?
What the hell is going to|happen to you if we don't?
This chick is going|to ruin my life.
She's going to fuck|it all up.
Bryce, give me the key.
No.
[Crying]
Shh. It's OK.
I'm sorry if that hurt.|It's Kathy, right?
Are you OK?
All right, look.|This is pretty crazy here.
This situation is|not very good. I know.
I'm going to take you out|of here in a minute.
I'm going to drive you home.
But first I need to know|if you're all right.
I mean, are you injured|at all?
OK, OK. Look.|Take a deep breath, OK?
Just breathe in, OK?
[Inhales]
Good. Yep.|Now exhale. Let it out.
OK.|It's all right. OK.
You're doing great.|You're a real pro.
OK, now, listen.|Are you hurt?
Are you hurt anywhere?
My lip.
Yeah, I can see that,|but it's nothing serious.
It's just a little cut.
But what I want to know is,|what about the rest of you?
Are you hurt|inside anywhere?
No? OK. Good.
Your friend|didn't hurt me.
No?
I don't care|what he did before.
I won't tell anybody.
I just want to get|out of here.
I just want to go home.
I just want to go home.
Lis-- Listen--
I just want to go home.
I just want to go home,
and then everything|will be fine.
You will. I promise you.
I promise.|I promise you will.
Just hold on.
Hey, Professor...|come on.
We'll be back|in a minute.
Everything's going|to be fine, OK?
Bryce: You don't|believe her, do you?
Because the second|she gets home,
she's going to|call the cops.
Yeah, she might.
The thing is,|you got to let her|go now.
But there's more to this.
What? What? What?
Look at that.
OK? Now this one.
She's 1 6.
I mean, what 21 -year-old|carries around a fake I.D.
saying she's 1 6?
The girl downstairs|is 1 6!
I mean, it doesn't|matter if she said no.
It doesn't matter|if she screamed yes
and had a notary public|certify it,
she's underage!|It's statutory!
If she presses charges,|I will go to jail!
So I guess a second date's|out of the question then, huh?
Do you see?|Do you see now?
Do you see|how fucked I am?
Bryce, statutory cases
are very, very hard|to prosecute.
No. The girl is 1 6.|I had sex with her.
Boom. Conviction.|You know what?
And it's not just jail.|It's my job, my career,
my entire education|shot to blistering fuck!
Can you imagine explaining|a statutory rape conviction
or even an accusation|to a tenure committee?
Can you?
Bryce, sit down.
You're going to wear tracks|in these people's carpet.
I only wanted|to get laid.
Instead,|I'm getting fucked!
Nick, I want to let|the girl go.
I'm raring to get her|the hell out of here,
but the only way|I can do that
is if she can guarantee|that she won't tell anyone,
and I don't see|how she can do that.
You won't take|her promise?
She's shown herself to be|a pillar of truthfulness.
And I can't bribe her.|I've got nothing to offer.
And--
Past that, and my thinking|just fails me.
I-- I don't think|I could threaten her.
I could.
What?
I already played|the good cop down there,
so maybe if I go down|and pull a reversal?
Scare the shit out of her.
We're fucked.
You're telling me.
P.A.: Welcome to Tropico|Recycling Company.
Glass goes...
[Glass Clinking]
Nick!
Sorry, man. I forgot|about your dad's funeral.
Of all days, Barry.
I'm really sorry.
[Cat Screeches]
[Cat Moaning]
Oh, shit!
Man: Is it yours?
Nick: No.|My neighbor's.
He home?
We OK if I say|she was dead on arrival?
Yeah.
I'm going to|put her down.
Um, excuse me.
The shot costs $30.00.
I'm sorry.
It's the least|I can do.
There you go.
Thanks.
Here's 1 0 back.
Cheap absolution.
I'm sorry.|I'm really running late.
Oh, OK. Go ahead.
I'll just get the info|from her collar.
Thank you.
Shit!
Ah, shit.
Ever feel like the world's|conspiring against you?
My name's Nick,|by the way.
Mine's Myrtle.
Myrtle.
Really?
[Chuckling]
No.
Thank God.
It's Lissa.
I was just trying to|lower your expectations.
Two Ss?
Yeah. It's short|for Melissa.
When I was learning|to talk,
I used to pronounce|it '' Me Lissa,''
as in '' Me Tarzan,''|so the story goes.
Thanks for the lift.
[Praying]
Let the Lord lift up His|countenance about him
and give him peace.|Amen.
Nick: I never would|have come back here
after college,|but my father got sick,
so I came home|to take care of him.
Oh, yeah?
Mm-hmm. So anyway,|what's your excuse?
I took the equivalency exam|after sophomore year--
off to be an actress.
Actress?
What, ''actress''?
Can never be sure|if you're being straight,
with you.
You can never be sure,|anyway.
So the first camera|I got in front of--
this incredibly|imposing machinery,
like, right in my face--
and I just...froze.
[Chuckles]
Claustrophobic,|I think.
So it's back to home|and school
and the local vet|to make a buck.
How long have you|lived here?
All my life.
Me, too.|Lafayette High.
Me, too.
So back to school where,|S.U.T.?
Mm-hmm.
The extension program,|studying art.
My dad taught there.|Chaired the history department.
Really?
This was before they|put him in the urn.
Waitress:|Here you go, sweetie.
Thank you.
Are you all done here?
Mm-hmm. Thanks.
So in an effort to avoid|a similar fate,
next week I will plunder|my father's belongings
for their few items|of value,
go collect my inheritance,
and when all that|is accomplished,
I will quietly, promptly|leave Tropico.
Just that easy?
No.
Well...
it's been nice|meeting you.
I'm sorry we didn't|till now.
Thanks for lunch.
Thanks for dinner.
Thanks for the wake.
[Chuckles]
# I try so hard to remember #
Bye.
Bye.
#What it is that I forgot #
# But I can't|but I can't believe #
#Will you now #
# I've tried|I've tried, I've tried #
# Cried and kissed them bye #
[Giggling]
# Something that we both know #
# Boy, you're on my mind #
# I don't know|how I'm going to #
# Show you what I feel for you #
# But all I know|all I know is I #
# I want to be with you #
#All I know|All I know is I #
#All I know|All I know is I #
# I got to be with you #
Rumor has it he was|a pretty good teacher.
I think you would have|liked him.
This is what he looked like.
Hmm... hmm...
Very sexy.
Really?
Really?
Hmm.
[Elevator Bell Rings]
Sorry. Sorry.
[Knock On Door]
Oh, hi, Nick.
How are you?|Good to see you.
Nick.
Hi.
Come in. Sit down.
I'm really sorry|about your father.
Yeah. I'm going to|miss him.
I brought|his favorite pen.
I've got news.
St. Vincent's Memorial
conducted an autopsy|on your father
and discovered that|his liver was near failure--
a condition which your father|apparently knew of
and failed to list
on his life insurance|application,
which constitutes|a deliberate misrepresentation
and invalidates|his policy.
Which means what,
that I--|that I would--
You don't get|the insurance money.
As a result, I've had to|inform the I.R.S.
of a new compensation|schedule
until the sale|of the house is complete.
Wait, wait, wait.|The I.R.S.?
Your father didn't|mention his back tax...
No.
obligation.
Your father owed|$200,000 in back taxes.
Uh, consequently,|these assets
are subject to a lien,
so the government|has seized them all.
Well, his estate|should constitute
more than that,|right?
After house payments,|your college tuition,
uh, my fees...
What's left over?
It depends on the sale|of the house,
which the bank|has seized title of.
What do I get?
If it goes|for the asking price,
after taxes...
Ah.
Nothing.
Barry: So...
did everything go OK|with your lawyer?
Huh? Are you going|to get the money?
Yeah. It was fine.
Oh, sorry|about that.
So, you going to|give your notice?
No. I thought I'd|stick around a little longer.
Anyway, if I go,|who's going to get my job?
I don't know.
[Car Horn Honks]
Mmm.
Uh, see you later.
Woman: You know, you really|have to use a little imagination
when you're looking|at an old house like this.
It's a really nice|opportunity--
a fixer-upper for first-time|buyers like yourselves.
It's a very good buy.
Hi.
Hi.
Come on in.
The American Empire|Dismantled.
Your father's?
'' History Master's|Thesis...
Mmm.
by Nick|Thornberry.''
You inherited|his passion.
But that's all.
Tropico, the time has come|for you to pitch in--
your cans, your bottles,|your other recyclables.
Hi. I'm Mitch Bennett,
president and owner-operator|ofTropico Recycling Company,
inviting you all|to come on down and pitch in.
Both: Tropico and recycling--|Together, we're on the move.
Bennett: Once more,|please,
with conviction.
And action!
Nick and Lissa:|Tropico and recycling--
Together,|we're on the move.
Good. Cut.
All right, all right.|Now, uh...
[Speaking Spanish]
Bennett: I want you|to go get Oscar,
get that crane|over there...
The things we do|for minimum wage.
Nick: So can you|help me out?
I'm sorry, guy.
Once the ad runs,|then we'll talk.
Right now,|I can't help you.
I'm not asking|for a loan.
It's money owed|for services rendered.
Hey, listen to me.
It's not possible|right now.
Look, I know you're|short at the moment,
but, hey,|everybody's short.
All right. Forget it.
Reuben, I thought|I told you not to laugh.
What are you doing, huh?|What's wrong with you?
Barry: Look, he's my friend.|Let me talk to him.
I'm telling you,|I don't care
how long|you've known him.
Nick.
Yeah?
Do you know--
Dude, if you|say my name,
I'm telling you,|you're out of this.
Out of what?
Shh.
Come on.
Shit. Um,|just tell him.
Nick, are you|doing anything tonight?
Come on. Come on!
[La Bamba Playing|Over P.A. System]
Bennett's Voice: Welcome|to Tropico Recycling Company.
Glass goes to bay 4,|plastics to bay 1 2.
Thanks for your business.
Barry: OK. The thing is,
my friend here,|he works
for a pretty big|guy in town.
Why don't you|want me
to know|your name?
Because if you|get busted,
how are you going to|identify me?
What, he was a black guy|with curly hair?
This guy, Nick,
is under serious|police investigation
right now.
He thinks he's going|to get busted anytime.
So every night,|he moves his stash
from one house|to another
so that the cops can't|get a search warrant
in time to snatch him.
Tonight the stash|is atJimmy's house.
You know, you got to have|pond water for brains, man.
Oh! I'm sorry.
I got a sofa at home|smarter than you.
I like saying|people's names.
Look,just shut--
Look, man.|It's a real easy job.
Barry breaks into my spot
when I'm pulling|watchdog duty alone, right?
He grabs the stuff|and knocks me out
just to make it look good.
You're willing|to take that lump?
For half of $40,000?|Yeah.
It's a two-man|job, Nick,
except we need|a driver, OK?
Jimmy's first choice
got the runs real|bad this morning,
so I recommended|you.
Now, the way|I'm seeing it is like
we give you a fourth|of what we take.
I mean, your job's|too easy--
It's really too safe|for anything more than that.
Come on, Nick--|as a favor to me.
Jimmy: Look, it's|one night's work, man.
I mean, the only way|you can possibly fuck up
is if you forget to put|gas in the car.
Shit.
Barry's got two tickets|to the ball game tonight,
and he invited me along.
You going to go?
Yeah, I guess so.
Come by, though.|I'll be back around 1 1 :00.
OK.
Nick: You got to|eat those now?
It's a nervous|habit.
Game time.
Christ,|that was easy.
That's it?|You got it?
Right here. Want to|drive a little?
Ha ha ha!
[Coughing]
Jimmy's going to have|an Advil binge tomorrow.
Oh.
Ha ha ha!
You're not too bright,|are you, Barry?
Nope.
Ha ha ha!
[Door Opens]
Nick: Hi.
Hi.
I brought you something.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
What?
So people|will stop laughing
at your music collection.
The Space|Between Us?
What is this?
That's what the kids|are listening to nowadays.
Cool, thanks.
How was the game?
It was fine.
You want to know|what the score was?
I listened to|a sports radio show
so I could lie|factually.
You don't have to|tell me where you've been.
I will if you ask.
I'm thinking|of moving again.
Where?
Um, Peru. Malta.|Portland, Oregon.
I don't know.
I hear it's nice|in Portland.
Want to come?
Please?
Well, when were you|planning on going?
Um, a couple|of weeks.
As soon as|you've finished
your masterpiece.
Is that a no?
It's a yes,|you cocksucker.
So?
Hey, Barry. Nick here
at 30 minutes after|you were supposed to be here
reminding you that|the future state of our finances
does not excuse us|from our efforts here at work.
Hope you're on your way.
Can I help you?
Get in the car.
Right.
Bennett's Voice:|Tropico Recycling Company.
Glass goes to bay 4,|plastics to bay 1 2.
Thanks for your business.
Man: That's right.|Nice and easy.
We're just going|for a little drive.
How you doing?
We ain't met.
Know who I am?
I got a couple|of guesses.
I'm the guy you stole|$40,000 from last night.
Your suspicion's|correct.
I thought you'd be|an older guy.
My profession don't|promote career longevity.
It's a young man's|business.
It don't matter|how I found out.
I found out.
No matter how sorry|you feel,
you're going|to feel sorrier.
And it don't matter|how you plan to fix it,
because that plan|is obsolete.
Freddie, take that shit|off of your head.
What for?
Take that shit|off of your head
and give it to him.
Blindfold yourself.
Why?
Because I don't|know you,
and I don't know|who you know.
Have you ever read|Adam Smith's
An Inquiry into|the Nature and Causes
of the Wealth of Nations?
Uh-uh.
In it, the man addresses
the two simple laws|of the market.
The first law: self-interest.
It is not from the benevolence|of the butcher, the brewer,
the fucking baker|that we expect our dinner,
but from their self-interest.
I don't sell junk|because I feel a civic duty.
I do it out of...
self-interest.
Second law: competition.
Only under the check|of competition
is a man's self-interest|regulated from ruthlessness.
I don't charge|a C-note a pop
because I think|some other dude
is going to|underprice me.
No. I don't overcharge|because what suppresses me?
Competition.
Consequently,|a man's motivations of...
Self-interest...
are transmuted by...
Competition...
to yield social harmony.
You, motherfucker,|have fucked
with the laws|of the market.
You have fucked|with competition.
You have deregulated|the self-interest
of some other|dope-peddling fuck.
You done fucked up|harmony.
You must un-fuck it!
This is all|simple economics.
Jimmy: Fuck. Come on.|Come on.
Come on.
Jimmy has learned|a lot about economics
the last few hours.
Keynesian theory,|market trends,
all that shit.
Taught him the difference|between laissez-faire,
which is what|I'm doing right now,
and intervention,|which is what I'm about to do.
We tried to see|your other associate-- Barry?
He was not at home.
Neither was most|of his clothes.
We surmised he would|not be returning soon,
so we came to see you.
[Jimmy Groaning]
What do you want?|Financial reparation?
What do you want?
Motherfucker|likes big words.
You hold that|thought, though.
Got to see|the show first.
You rememberJimmy.|Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Quit it. All right,|Freddie. Cola.
[Muffled Screaming]
A little carbonation|up the sinuses
will fuck you up good.
Freddie: The drink|that refreshes.
Now let's deal.
I don't have your stash.
Then I want|reparation--
$40,000.
I don't have that,|either.
Oh, I think you do.
You're just|being coy.
What was your cut?
A fourth.
we're all square.
You don't have it|by Sunday,
then you take|the taste test.
If you run...
this is what your world|will look like.
[Tires Screeching]
[Nick Dialing Telephone]
Bryce: Hey, Nick,|it's Bryce.
Guess who's moving|to Tropico--
[Fast-Forwarding Tape]
[Beep]
Barry: Nick,|it's Barry. Listen,
Jimmy isn't answering|his phone.
I think things got|fucked up.
I'm taking off|for a while
till I get ahold|of him.
[Beep]
Nick: Call the office,|you son of a bitch.
Lissa: Things got|fucked up with Jimmy?
Yeah. He's some friend|of Barry's--
assistant manager prospect.
He was supposed to|show up tomorrow,
and the guy's|a complete flake.
Nick.
I'm in the doghouse.
Lissa: I have 1 ,000.
No, no. Don't|burden yourself
with my fuck-ups.
Hey.
It's only money.
Besides, I've built up|a certain tolerance
for your fuck-ups.
I think I can|burden myself a little.
All right. 1 ,400.
We could sell|your car.
Another 3,000,|maybe 4,000.
That's still|1 0 grand short.
My only question is,|why pay them at all?
It's just buying us
the right to keep|living here,
and we're leaving|anyway.
I think if I try and run|and they find me,
they're going to hurt me.
Then don't run.
We'll pay them.
OK.
So, 5 days to raise|$1 0,000.
You know what a champ|I am at asking for money.
No. No, Nick.|I told you.
In a month or so,|we'll discuss this.
No. It can't wait.
I need an advance today,|or I'm through.
Look, I appreciate you|taking Barry's shift,
and I'm going to pay you|double-time for it,
but that doesn't change|my cash flow.
The next words out of|your mouth are ''Yes, Nick,''
or you're|locking up tonight.
Don't try to|blackmail me, Nick.
Fuck!
Aah!
Shit.
[Beep]
Bryce: Nick,|this is Bryce again.
I just landed in town.
Got a phone number|for you: 5 5 5-01 73.
You know, also,|I was wondering,
is there a good|mechanic in town?
Because my gearshift|just took a crap on me.
Give me a call, babe.
[Beep]
Bryce!
Woman On Radio: #There's a new boy|in the neighborhood #
# I'd like to meet him|if I could #
# He's got the look|that I dream about #
# Makes the other girls|scream and shout #
Hey.
Hey.
Welcome|to Tropico.
Duck and cover.
Nick. Come here, man.|Come here.
God, it's great|to see you.
You still got|the Charger.
That's terrific.|That's terrific.
You don't see a lot|of white people
driving these nowadays,|but, hey, man, good for you.
Come on.|Let's get out of here.
Let's go.Jim,|we'll talk to you.
Nick: Wow.
Bryce: Wait till|you see inside.
So we have survey|courses to start--
American lit., Brit. lit.,
everything that should be|taught in high school.
Hawthorne,James,|Fitzgerald.
Nick: ''So we beat on,|boats against the current,
borne back ceaselessly|with the past.''
F. Scott, Great Gatsby.
That's a book he wrote.
We don't|actually read
anything we teach.
The department chair|gives us Cliff Notes
at the beginning|of the semester,
and we just say|whatever's in those.
That's convenient.
[Beeping]
Can you shut|the door?
Thanks.
A tad excessive.
The guy I'm|house-sitting for--
a tad retentive.
Bryce: Can you believe|this place?
Mr. Beaumont's a local|guy who made good.
He built this house|overlooking Tropico
to remind everyone.
Visual.
Liquid.
Jesus Christ.
Here we have|the corridor of wonder.
The man likes carpet.
Even on|the toilet seat
for those prolonged|stays of leisure.
Oh, and observe|the cabinet of whimsy.
Huh.
Isn't that great?
Oh, that reminds me--
How's your dad?
You still live|with him, right?
No. He's dead.
Jesus. I'm--|I'm sorry.
It's OK. It was|a few months ago.
Weird.
Hey, I've got
something|to show you.
It's a stay of execution|for a Union deserter
during the Battle|of Vicksburg--
Mr. Beaumont's great-|great-somebody-or-other--
but check out the sig.
Honest Abe. Didn't|he ever get tired
of emancipating|people?
Supposedly the stay|was last-minute,
and it was the only|paper around.
Anyway, I remember
you used to dabble|in history, so...
I thought|I'd give you a show.
You paying them anything|to live here?
Rent is nil|on 3 conditions:
feed the plants,|keep the place clean,
and don't invite|anyone over.
I'm making|an exception for you.
Bryce McCarthy,|you risk-taker.
The starting|professorial salary is shit.
I'm really lucky|to have this place.
Your parents|have money, right?
Their own mint.
The last few years,|they've developed
this financial|tough-love philosophy
on their kids-- sort of|a benign neglect
without|the benign part.
What, they cut you off?
Yup.
This life of austerity|is killing me.
Ha ha ha!
[Dogs Barking]
Man: Lincoln,|Lincoln, Lincoln.
Signature goes|for about $7 5,000.
Do any of these|look familiar? Here.
Nick: Um...
Yeah. This right here,
only these two things|are switched.
- That one?|- Yeah.
That's a rare item there.
Trial printing.
Only a few in existence,|and worth about, uh...
$200,000. Whoo!
So the two together|would be worth...
That's a $300,000|stay of execution.
Unfortunately, it does|you no good to steal it.
Ha! That's speaking|presumptuously.
Yeah. Well, you're|asking about it,
and it's not yours.
Why would it do me no good|to steal it?
Most items like those,|they're registered.
Hence,|they're immovable.
Now, uh... even if this one|happens to be unregistered,
you steal it,|owner reports the theft,
well, it's|immovable again.
What if it wasn't|reported stolen?
Why wouldn't it be?
I don't know.|What if?
You'd have to wait|two months.
After 60 days,|no theft report,
you can sell|the thing.
Of course,|you'd want to muddy
the trail of ownership|leading back to you,
but that's not hard to do|if you have the right fence.
And...
what would|the right fence take?
Ten percent?
Twenty.
Ha ha ha!
You want me to check
and see if there's|a listing on it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look around.
Nick: It's unregistered,|which means it's fair game.
Charlie, the guy who|looked it up for me,
he said he'd|advance me 1 5 grand
upon receipt|of the stay.
Then once he sold it,|he'd send us the rest.
You trust him?
Yeah.
OK. So the trick is|to steal it from a house
with an elaborate alarm system
and a house-sitter who's not|allowed to invite anyone over
without having it reported|stolen for at least two months?
And without|getting caught.
So how well|do you know Bryce?
If you're asking|can we bring him in on it,
no, I don't think so.
You don't trust him.
Our sophomore year|in college,
he cheated|on a midterm exam.
He got caught,|he confessed,
and he gave up the other|two guys, as well.
So we got to steal|the thing outright
So we got to steal|the thing outright
and somehow make sure|Bryce doesn't report it.
He's got to believe that he's|going to get in more trouble
reporting it than not.
How?
Make him think|he committed a crime.
Murder's the obvious choice.
How do you convince somebody|he's a murderer?
Other crimes--|arson, burglary, rape.
How do you convince him|that he did that?
What?
Well...
You can make it|statutory.
You want me|to lay your friend?
No! No, of course|I don't.
You fuck him, Nick.
Liss...
And after that,|you know who else you can.
Liss, come on!
[Door Closes]
[Telephone Rings]
Answering Machine: This is Nick.|Leave a message.
[Beep]
Man: Tick-tock,|tick-tock,
the mouse ran out the clock,|motherfucker.
[Beep]
[Truck Drives Off]
Ohh!
God.
Nick?
Oh, my God.
OK.
OK. I'll do it.
Oh, Liss.
I'm sorry.
You fucking bastard.
You know what you did.
You bastard.|You fucking bastard!
You know what you did.
You bastard!
Nick: Bryce, it's Nick.
Yeah. How are you?
Good. Good.
Listen, what are you|doing tomorrow night?
No, I got a place. It's called|the Tropico Nocturne.
Nocturne.
Wait. Hold on|one second.
[Telephone Beeps]
Hello.
Yeah, this is he.
Uh-huh. I'll have the money|Sunday morning.
OK. I'll be here.
Say no, and we'll
just call the whole|thing off right now.
Hmm?
Once you've given him
reasonable cause|for concern...
get the hell|out of there.
Wait for the cab|outside on the street,
not even|on the property.
OK.
Is that all?
Yeah, I think so.
I won't see you|until tomorrow night,
and I probably won't|come back here afterwards...
but I'll call you|as soon as it's over.
OK.
If that's|what you want, OK.
Nick.
Are you going to be|OKwith this?
I don't know.
I guess I have to be.|I want to be.
Liss.
Yeah.
Hi, this is me,|and I'm here,
just entertaining some|last-minute reservations.
I thought maybe|you'd want to stop by.
Calling your|girlfriend already?
Hey, have her set me up|with a friend.
I could use getting laid.|Hey, bring a friend!
[Sirens Passing]
Bryce: I got|a joke for you.
There's this elephant|in the jungle,
and he's got a thorn|caught in his foot.
This mouse wanders by.
The elephant|stops him and says,
''I'll give you anything
if you take the thorn|out of my foot.''
The mouse goes, ''OK,|under one condition.
Afterward, I get|to fuck you up the ass.''
And the elephant|nods OK.
The mouse takes this|thorn out of his foot.
The mouse says, '' Hey,|we had an agreement.''
And the elephant|goes, ''OK.''
So the mouse jumps|on top of his back,
he starts|giving the elephant
his business, right?
And meanwhile,|there's a monkey
up above in the trees.
The monkey looks down,
and he sees this mouse|sodomizing this elephant,
and the monkey's|just disgusted.
And he's so upset
that he grabs a coconut|from the tree,
he hurls it|down at them,
the coconut hits the|elephant in the head,
the elephant|hollers in pain,
and the mouse says,|''That's right, baby.
Take it all!''|Ha ha ha!
No. No.
Yes. Yes.
I got to go|to the bathroom.
Ye of little bladder.
Can I set|a running tab, please?
Woman: No problem.
Get out of here.
No.
Listen...
I love you.
Why do you think|I'm doing this?
Woman: Thanks, hon.
[Giggling]
I know, I know. I have|a terrible drinking problem.
Whiskey doesn't|stain, does it?
I don't think so.
Well, it's a hand-me-down|anyway.
Brooks Brothers|handed it down to me.
You want to sit down?
It's only a college buddy|and me.
Sure.
I'm here|by myself, anyway.
I'm Bryce.
I'm Kathy.
Hi, Kathy.
You're back.|Kathy, this is Nick.
- Nick: Hi.|- Hi.
Is this your seat?
Nope. Not anymore.
Could I get that|jacket from you?
Thanks. Bryce,|I'll see you later.
I'm going to go.
Is everything OK?
Yeah. I'm just|a little preoccupied.
No kidding. It's been discovered|that our friend here
is on a very short leash.
Nick: I took care|of that tab.
- Will you at least tip?|- Mm-hmm.
OK. I'll call you tomorrow.|Nice to meet you, Kathy.
Nick: I'm sorry.
Bryce: Nick! There's nothing|to apologize about.
It's OK.
See you, Nick.|See you, buddy.
[Moaning]
We're fucked.
You're telling me.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I never meant this to happen.|I promise you. I promise.
You didn't|get the key?
Where is it?
Bryce has it.
The note?
No, the key.|I have the note.
No. It's not|in your purse.
I didn't put it|in my purse.
I have it.
What happened?
He just laid there|for a while afterwards.
This is after you...
What then?
Then I started|into my speech,
but he just went|fucking ballistic,
and I tried to go|for the door...
He didn't do anything|to you, did he?
He dragged me down|the stairs, Nick.
I know. I'm sorry.|I'm sorry.
He's just|a bad drunk is all.
I must look terrific|about now.
No, you...
You wear captivity well.
So where is it? The note.|Where is it?
Really?
You could at least kiss|me when you do that.
Baby.
Thanks.
That was|really sweet.
[Thumping From Upstairs]
...Lord today?
Have you? Have you thought|about the Lord lately?
I'm glad|you're here.
I'm glad, too.
It doesn't mean we have|to stick around, though.
I know.
So, what are we|going to do?
Well, I have two ideas.
First one, I break that pole,|you slide your arms out,
and we go home.
I like that idea.
Do we get the money?
I don't know.
He's been upstairs studying your I.D.s|for the past two hours.
Does he know|they're both fake?
Not yet.
What's idea two?
Bryce: What'd she say?!
'' My uncle is|a fucking lawyer.
He's going to|have your ass.
He's going to|tear the scrotums
off you|cocksuckers, you--''
Jesus! That's it, Nick.
She's not|going to drop it?
What was that|one line? Uh...
'' Both of you are going to rot|in jail the rest of your lives.
Going to be mayors|of ass-rape city.''
[Gagging]
Nick: You might want|to lift the lid there.
[Vomiting]
Jesus, Nick.
Jesus, this shitty|little girl.
You work your whole life,|and one goddamn night, you--
write a doctoral thesis|on Middle English, Middle--
[Vomiting]
Middle fucking English!
To get fucked by some|prom queen in training.
I came once!|I can't even remember.
So you don't get tenure.|So what?
Well, fuck tenure.|I'm unhirable.
I can't even|get a janitor's job.
I might as well|do what you do.
It's all I ever wanted|to do, Nick, was teach.
It's all I know|how to do,
and now I can't because|Miss Bitch-City downstairs
won't let me.
I'm so fucked.
We are.
What?
Aiding and abetting,|Bryce.
Kidnapping.
She's bringing that|against me, too?
Us, Bryce! Us.
Wicked fucking|bitch. Bitch!
Here. Come here.
Wait!
You done?
[Flushes Toilet]
Hey...
I screwed it.|I'm sorry.
She's whacked.
I know.
There's no way you could reason|with someone like that.
God, I'd like|to kill the girl.
She showed up at the bar|alone, right?
Yeah, I think.
Didn't seem like|she knew anybody there,
and nobody would remember you|two leaving together, right?
No, the bartender|saw her kiss me.
I mean, why? What|are you suggesting?
Television: Tropico, the time|has come for you to pitch in.
Bryce.
Hey, are you in this?
It has the production|value of bad porn.
Bryce, you prick.
What?
Why'd you call me?
Why did I call you?
Yeah. Huh?
I called you|because I needed help.
You're a sly one, man.
You're a fucking|sly one!
I'm not trying|to be sly.
Talk to me.
I needed your advice!
Then stop fucking|patronizing me!
I know what you're doing!
Tropico Recycling.|Together...
What?
You have been playing me|for the fool all night,
ever since I walked in|that door.
''What are you|suggesting, Nick?''
Oh, you are sweet.
If you want to kill her,|then say so,
but don't|play games with me.
Kill her?
It's why I got the call--
to give you the nerve.|It's out in the open now.
Don't pussyfoot around.
I-- I...|Kill her?
Yes, Bryce.
I couldn't do that.
You couldn't.
Well, we couldn't.
I can't believe that|you're even saying this.
I mean, actually kill her?|Take her life?
No, the other sense|of the word ''kill.''
What are you doing?
I'm looking|for a pillow.
What for?
There.
Have yourself a time.
This is not|why I called you.
Why else? You were|looking for an alternative
to letting her go?
What other alternative|did you think I'd suggest?
Consciously or not,|this is what you want.
This is why|you called me.
Can we really do this?
Come here.
Sit.
Can we do this?|Yes, I think we can.
No one can associate you|with the girl.
There are no witnesses|to your meeting except me,
and I'm your alibi|for the entire evening.
No, no. I mean,|can we really...
I mean,|she's-- she's--
She's a person, I know,|with an actual life,
and we're talking|about ending it.
You're right. That's...|That's pretty horrible.
But remember, we're talking|about 3 lives here--
hers and both of ours.
I just want to do|what's right.
I do, too.
And this is a moral issue,|but it's also a practical one.
The greatest good for|the greatest number of people.
It's a tough one, granted.
We save her, we screw us,|and vice versa,
But think--|Who's worth saving here?
Who's created this problem?
Someone is going to|get hurt, Bryce.
It's just|a question of who.
Anyway.
It's your decision to make.|I'll stand by whatever you say.
OK.
I guess I'll do it.
No, no, no. I'll do it.
You sure?
That's why you called.
What's that?
It's what|it looks like.
She gave you that?
It's weird|because I remember her
being really into it,|screaming like a champ.
I must have been|doing something right.
I need the key|now, Bryce.
What?
Handcuffs.
Oh.
[Exhales]
I'll be back|in a couple minutes.
What now?
You die.
Oh, God.
Huh!
All right.
[Alarm Ringing]
Oh! Sorry.
[Alarm Stops]
You need a hand?
No. I got her.
Shit. I forgot|her purse.
Just hang in there|a little longer.
I'll have you out|in two seconds.
I don't know if I want|to go through with this.
It's just a little longer.|Just hang in there, OK?
Nick, please.
Bryce:|What are you doing?
What do you mean?
No, you're not|coming with me.
Yeah, I am.
No. I don't want you.|I can't use you.
What are you|going to do?
There's an incinerator|at the recycling plant.
I'm going to|put her in it.
Is that safe?
Nobody arrives|at work till 9:00,
now get out.|Come on.
Wait!|What about her car?
All right,|what about it?!
If they report her missing,|the police will track the car.
When they find it, they'll|ask around the Nocturne.
OK, fine.|I'll move it.
You'll need the keys.
You have them?
Look, I can't|stay here alone!
I just can't stay here.
I-- I need to eat|something.
OK.
I'll drop you off|to eat.
Then I'll deal|with the girl...
and then I'll deal|with her car.
OK?
OK.
OK.
[Starts Engine]
Isn't there a minimum|speed limit or something?
Man On Radio:|# Glow worm, glimmer, glimmer #
# Lead us, lest too far|we wander #
# Love's sweet voice|is callin' yonder #
# Shine, little glow worm|glimmer, glimmer, hey #
#And don't get|dimmer, dimmer #
# Light the path|below, above #
#And lead us on|to love #
Ha ha ha!
What?
This song.
What about it?
It's all about sperm.
No, it's not.
Oh, come on.
'' Light the path that|leads us on to love''?
This little glow worm is like|Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Sperm,
leading|all the other sperm up.
Of course it is.
[Turns Off Radio]
You know, not|everything in the world
revolves around fucking.
No,just most things.
No, they don't.
They revolve around|money and power
and sometimes spite.
You know what?|That's history's view.
Literature's view is|it's all about fucking.
[Siren]
Oh, shit.
Nick, turn around.
Nick!
Goddamn it, Bryce,|calm the fuck down!
Shit, Nick.|Nick, turn around!
Calm down.|Calm down.
Slow down!|Slow down!
All right, we got a car|coming through!
Clear a lane there!|Clear a lane!
[Men Shouting]
Keep moving there.|Keep moving.
Let's get some hands|over here!
Pull around|to the left there.
You guys, over here.
Get that hose|straightened.
Bryce: Nick? Nick, there's|a car following us.
Nick: Keep it up,|Bryce.
Drunk and paranoid|looks good on you.
Shit! I think|it's a cop, Nick.
They're going to stop us.|What if they stop us?
What if they check|the trunk?
Shut the fuck up!
See?|It's not a cop.
Nick?
Man: Time's up,|motherfucker!
Aah! Aah!
Get out|of the fucking car!
Bryce: Please!|Please! Please!
No! No! No!|No! No! No!
Don't hit--|Don't hit-- Don't hit me!
Don't hit me!|Don't hit me!
[Engine Revving]
You fuck!
I'll fucking kill you,|you son of a bitch!
Ugh!
Nick!
Nick!
What are we|going to do now?
They just took the car!|They're going to find her!
Lissa, Lissa, Lissa,|Lissa, Lissa, Lissa...
Nick!
Nick, what are we|going to do?
Quiet!
Nick, they're going to--
They're going to|call the police.
Bryce,|they're car thieves.
They're not going to|call the police.
Nick, get up!
Come on.
Nick, get up.
Nick.
Nick, what--
I'll take care of it.
Just go home, OK?|Just go home.
But--
Just--Just...
[Telephone Rings]
[Ring]
Nick, Answering Machine:|This is Nick. Leave a message.
I'm here.|I'm here. I'm here.
[Beep]
Hello?
Man: We got|something of yours.
Got two things|of yours, actually.
What do you|want me to do?
Stop checking your ass|out in the mirror.
You coming?
Man: Boy, you got|a funny idea about chivalry.
When me and my lady|go driving,
she always rides|up front with me.
I thought our date|was Sunday.
It was.|I bumped it up.
Thought you might be getting|a little flighty.
Apparently you've been|getting something.
What the fuck|you been up to?
Where is she?
Man: Don't worry.
We ain't offered her|any soda.
a very curious economic|system in this country.
There was|a civil war.
Yeah. I read|about it.
But before that,
my great-great-great-|grandmother
was put up for auction.
Set a female record|in Georgia-- $800.
Now, given inflation|with today's dollars,
she was sold|for approximately...
Is that|your asking price?
Mm-hmm. That will be a total|of $25,000 you owe me.
I can get you 20|in 3 or 4 hours,
if you can wait|that long.
Freddie will|drive you back.
Your girlfriend|will stay here...
while you go get|your daddy's money.
Wait a minute.
How did you know|about my dad?
[Crack]
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Man: Hey!
Hey.
Man: Oh...
fuck!
Nick.
Ha ha!
It's just...
you know...
What did we steal?
Baking flour.
We thought you got|all that money
from your dad,|you know, and the house.
Ha ha! What's 20 grand?
I mean, come on.
We didn't expect you|to pull all this shit.
What's your story?
I'm a finance major.
We all got|tuitions to pay.
Uh...
I'm just|his cousin, man.
Man:|By marriage.
Ha ha ha!
[Moaning]
Aah! You fuck!
[Glass Shattering]
[All Shouting At Once]
Come on, man!|Calm down, man!
Get up off of me!
What the hell is wrong|with you, man?
Calm down!
Man: Come on, man.|Let's get him out of here.
Come on, let's go.
What, you never fucked|a friend before?
No-- No hard|feelings, man.
Hey, sorry about|your car, dude.
Uh, you can call the police|if you want,
but you know,|you do that,
we'll start mentioning|the chick in the trunk.
Man: #Take me back #
We'll try and get|your wheels back.
#To where you hide #
# Lay me down #
# Lay me down inside #
# Lay me down inside #
Excuse me. Do you know|what time it is?
We got to be at Charlie's|in two hours.
But, Nick, why?
It's the most fucked-up|night of my pathetic life.
[Car Horns Honking]
Lissa!
Liss!
Liss!
Wait! Look,|I'm sorry!
I'm sorry I put you|through all this!
Don't apologize|to me, Nick. Don't.
That only makes this|whole situation worse.
You were in a hole,
and I did what|I needed to do.
But we can still|salvage some of this.
We can still|get the money.
The money, Nick?
Bryce has no idea you're|still alive. We could--
What,just|fuck him over?
Just fuck him over|for the hell of it?
This was never|about money, Nick.
This was about you|being stuck
in the same place|for your whole life.
Shit.
You two together?
I'm not sure.
[Toilet Flushing]
Nick!
Jesus, you're here.
Bryce.
What's going on?|Did you find the car?
What are you|doing here?
I was starved. This was|the only place open.
I told you|to go home.
Yeah, I know,|but, um...
Nick, I don't think|I can handle this.
I've got this|sick feeling inside.
It's like a tightness|in my chest,
and I feel like it's|kind of going to burst.
You killed her, Nick.
Excuse me?
You killed her.|You smothered her.
I mean,|she was a person.
Now she's just dead.
Lissa: Yeah,|can I get a cab?
OK? And I can't|handle it.
I mean, I just can't|go through with it.
I got to talk|to somebody.
Yeah? Ha ha!
Of course you do.
I'm sorry, Nick.|I got to--
I'm going|to the police.
For me. I have to.
You know|something, Bryce?
You're an asshole.
In fact, you've always|been an asshole,
even in college.
I think that's why|I never really liked you.
Nick, I'm having a crisis|of conscience here.
There's no need|to be rude.
Oh. What the fuck|is this?
What the fuck|is that?
Lissa, wait.
What?
Lissa?
Christ, she's not--
What--
What the fuck|is going on?
Bryce, this is Lissa.
She's my girlfriend.
Was my girlfriend.
What happened? I mean,|I thought she was in--
She slept with you...
to steal that...
to save my life.
And if she leaves me now,
I'm never going to be able|to make it up to her,
and I badly need|to make it up to her.
[Door Closes]
Bryce: I never|liked you, either!
Wow.
Cabdriver: What's it|going to be-- in or out?
I thought|you were leaving.
I thought I was, too.
Then I realized|I didn't have any money.
Ha ha ha!
Let's walk?
Where?
Anywhere...
away from here.
Neneh Cherry:|#The first kiss #
#You planted|to my face #
#You planted|to my face #
#The second twist #
#The taste of fear #
#Took up all the space #
# In here #
- # More or less #|- # Pick a way out #
# In the twisted mess #
- # More or less #|- # Disintegrated #
# Strategically|impressed #
- # More or less #|- # No longer residents #
#At a new address #
- # More or less #|- # Scratch me like a perfume ad #
# Recycle|all the plans we had #
# More or less #
- #Whenever I think #|- # More or less #
- #Whoever I take #|- # More or less #
- # However it breaks #|- # More or less #
# Someone's|going to fall #
# I sense a grain|of stress #
# Hurting you|more or less #
# I pick up|this twisted mess #
# Like sinking ships #
# Dragged into abyss #
#Just slammin' #
# In sinfulness #
#Wherever I take|the night #
# Keepin' it|eye to eye #
#Just slammin' #
#With tastiness #
# Pick a way out|in the twisted mess #
- # More or less #|- # Disintegrated #
# Strategically|digress #
- # More or less #|- # No longer residents #
#At your own address #
- # More or less #|- #Watch me like a prison guard #
- # Swipe me like a credit card #|- # More or less #
- #Whenever I think #|- # More or less #
- #Whoever I take #|- # More or less #
- # However it breaks #|- # More or less #
# Someone's|going to fall #
# I sense|a grain of stress #
# Hurting you|more or less #
# I pick up|this twisted mess #
# More or less #
# More or less #
#Take me, shake me,|knock me away #
#A million ways|that we relayed #
#We've all come|to suffocate #
#To make it through|the night today #
- # More or less #|- # Count the days strategically #
- # More or less #|-#The cravin' to believe in me #
- # More or less #|- #Who to blame and who to be #
- # More or less #|- # Make it through the night with me #
- # Now it's tastin'-- #|- #Whenever I think #
- #The fear that slowly-- #|- #Whatever I take #
- # Now I stop to-- #|- # However it breaks #
- #You belong to-- #|- # Someone's going to fall #
# I sense|a grain of stress #
- # Hurting you #|- # More or less #
# Now I stop to reminisce|and now #
# Movin' on|Picture this #
#Twisted mess #
#Twisted mess #
#Twisted mess #
#Twisted mess #
#Twisted mess #
#Twisted mess #
[Patsy Cline Playing]
OK, another...|Charles Eppker.
Charles... Charles|is a large fellow.
Played football.
People called him|''Chunky.''
That's right.
He still plays--
back-up center|in the Canadian league.
All this remember-when,|where-are-they-now shit.
That was college.
Can we please talk|about something else?
You know what?|I had a thought.
Shit. No.
Yes. Last night I was|reading The History
of Twentieth Century|America in your honor.
Whose, Manchester's?
No. Big thick text|by...
Schlessinger.|Halberston.
I'm not going to|remember.
Well, authors' names|don't really matter
in your trade, anyway,|do they?
I work in the English|department.
We deal in fiction.
I can tell the little|shits any name I like.
Your thought?
Oh, yes. Right.|I was reading 1 960s
sexual revolution free|love wife-swapping--
sort of like|an after-dinner,
free-spirit parlor game.
The husbands used to|throw their key chains
onto the table,|mix them up,
then the wives would all|pick them up blindly.
Buddies fucking|each other's wives,
et cetera, et cetera.
Now think when|our parents were born.
OK, now, think|when we were born.
We could be the offspring|of a key chain adultery.
You get it? We may not|be our fathers' sons.
Oh, it gives me hope,|anyway.
Waitress: Two more 7 and 7 s.
Jesus, another round?
Thank you.
I haven't finished|this one yet.
Thank you.
To your first month|in Tropico.
Stay hydrated.
Everybody sucks but us.
[Sirens]
Man: Oh, I have|a joke for you.
There's this elephant|in the jungle,
and he's got a thorn|caught in his foot.
This mouse wanders by.|Elephant stops him
and says, '' Hey,|I'll give you anything
if you take the thorn|out of my foot.''
[Groaning]
[Telephone Ringing]
Hi. How'd it go?
Man: Nick, I--I--|Nick, can you do me a favor?
Bryce?
Can you come over here?|Yeah, it's me.
I know it's late,|but I need you to--
Yeah. No.|I was expecting--
Well, it-- it's me.|I got a problem over here.
I got--|I got a serious--
OK. Can it wait?|Because it's after--
Can't wait.|I need a friend to talk to.
Look, I'm in big|fucking shit!
OK.
Please. Please, Nick.
OK.
[Tearful]|Thanks, buddy. Bye.
Bye.
[Firemen Shouting]
How'd this happen?
Ah, brush fire season.
The slightest thing will|spark one of these off.
You want to take a left|here and proceed slowly
up towards the right,|all right? Drive safe.
Thanks.
[Firemen Shouting]
[Knock On Door]
[Beeping]
Oh, shit.
Morning.
Hey.
Jesus, you look|like I feel.
Well, I feel|like it, too.
You want a beer?
All I've got|is domestic shit.
That'll be fine.
Thanks.
These people you're sitting for,|they keep a lovely home.
So, you want to tell me|why I'm here?
I got laid tonight.
How wonderful for you.
No.
I didn't bring you here|at 2:00 a.m.
for bragging rights, OK?|Because if I tell you this,
you got to make sure
you're not going|to tell anybody,
that it stays between us.|OK, Nick? OK?
The girl that|we met at the bar?
- Katie?|- No. Kathy.
Oh, boy. What happened?
You left. She and I--|we talked for a while.
You know,|she bought me a round.
And then she asked|if I wanted to leave,
and so we came here.
So we starting making out.|She initiated it.
She did this funny thing|with her hand.
And she was kissing me,|like squeezing my jaw.
Bryce, broad strokes.|Broad strokes.
Sorry. Sorry.
It's like I blinked,|and we were naked.
And then I, uh...|We did it.
Yeah?
Afterwards, she went|to the bathroom.
Couple minutes,|came out,
asked if I had|any vitamin C.
- What?|- Yeah.
So I went upstairs,|and I found some,
and I came back down.
And she had called|a cab
and said|she was going home,
and that|when she got there,
she was going to|call the police
and file rape charges|against me.
She says I raped her,|Nick.
Bryce, is there|any truth to this?
No. I'm sorry
because I haven't seen|you since college
and suddenly I lay|all this shit on you.
Is there any truth|to what she's saying?
I don't--|I don't think so.
You don't think so,|or you know so?
Listen,|I was pretty drunk,
and I can't fucking|remember
if she tried to stop|anything.
But she says she did.
Are you just hazy on this,|or were you--
No. It's a mix.
I was in and out|during the act.
I don't remember!
Well, you don't seem|very drunk right now.
Well, a chick|accusing you of rape
will sober you up|just like that.
Jesus.
I don't know.|Maybe--
Maybe she won't|go through with it.
Otherwise, I don't know|what to tell you, Bryce.
Sit tight,|for Christ's sake.
Whatever you do, don't|tell anyone about this--
not now, not ever.
What?
Oh, fuck.
Oh, Nick,|I really fucked up!
Bryce?
You know, Nick,|can you talk to her?
Just tell her|it was an accident.
Fuck! I hate to lay|this shit on you.
Hey. Hey. Shh.|Calm down, OK?
Hey. The girl is gone.
There's nothing|we can do. OK?
No.
Come on, Bryce.
No! She's not gone!
She's downstairs!
God. She's downstairs.
This is going to look|worse than it is.
See, after she said|what she said, after
what she was|going to do, I--
See, Nick,|I didn't hit her.
All I did was grab her|and drag her,
and then, coming down|the stairs, she fell...
Where are the lights?
Over on the wall.
What the fuck|are you doing?
I, um, well, uh, I need|to think through this.
Not what are you|thinking,
what the fuck|are you doing?
How long has she|been down here?
I'm not sure
because my sense of time|is all fucked up.
Guess.
Um, I dragged her down,|and I tried to talk to her,
and I called you.|Maybe half an hour?
You didn't touch|her after that?
No, Nick, I swear|I didn't touch her.
[Crying Softly]
Bryce: Nick--
No!Just--Just|hold on a minute. Um...
But, Nick--
Oh, fuck!
[Kathy Crying]
Nick, come on.|It's not my place.
Goddamn it, Bryce.
Look, I'm sorry, Nick.|When she said
that she was going to|call the cops,
I tried to stop her to|find out what happened,
and she kept going|for the door,
and I just lost it.
Nick, I swear to God,
I didn't touch her|after that.
It's OK. It's OK.
Where'd you get these?
Upstairs. I found them|in the parents' bedroom.
You have the key?
The key? Why?
I'm going to|take them off.
Uh-huh.|And then what?
And then I'm going|to drive her home.
Bryce: Could we talk|about this first?
Bryce, give me the key!
I know this looks bad,|and I screwed up.
But I don't think|I did before
what she said I did,
and I want to|talk about it first.
What is there|to talk about?
What the hell|is going to happen to me
if we just let her go?
What the hell is going to|happen to you if we don't?
This chick is going|to ruin my life.
She's going to fuck|it all up.
Bryce, give me the key.
No.
[Crying]
Shh. It's OK.
I'm sorry if that hurt.|It's Kathy, right?
Are you OK?
All right, look.|This is pretty crazy here.
This situation is|not very good. I know.
I'm going to take you out|of here in a minute.
I'm going to drive you home.
But first I need to know|if you're all right.
I mean, are you injured|at all?
OK, OK. Look.|Take a deep breath, OK?
Just breathe in, OK?
[Inhales]
Good. Yep.|Now exhale. Let it out.
OK.|It's all right. OK.
You're doing great.|You're a real pro.
OK, now, listen.|Are you hurt?
Are you hurt anywhere?
My lip.
Yeah, I can see that,|but it's nothing serious.
It's just a little cut.
But what I want to know is,|what about the rest of you?
Are you hurt|inside anywhere?
No? OK. Good.
Your friend|didn't hurt me.
No?
I don't care|what he did before.
I won't tell anybody.
I just want to get|out of here.
I just want to go home.
I just want to go home.
Lis-- Listen--
I just want to go home.
I just want to go home,
and then everything|will be fine.
You will. I promise you.
I promise.|I promise you will.
Just hold on.
Hey, Professor...|come on.
We'll be back|in a minute.
Everything's going|to be fine, OK?
Bryce: You don't|believe her, do you?
Because the second|she gets home,
she's going to|call the cops.
Yeah, she might.
The thing is,|you got to let her|go now.
But there's more to this.
What? What? What?
Look at that.
OK? Now this one.
She's 1 6.
I mean, what 21 -year-old|carries around a fake I.D.
saying she's 1 6?
The girl downstairs|is 1 6!
I mean, it doesn't|matter if she said no.
It doesn't matter|if she screamed yes
and had a notary public|certify it,
she's underage!|It's statutory!
If she presses charges,|I will go to jail!
So I guess a second date's|out of the question then, huh?
Do you see?|Do you see now?
Do you see|how fucked I am?
Bryce, statutory cases
are very, very hard|to prosecute.
No. The girl is 1 6.|I had sex with her.
Boom. Conviction.|You know what?
And it's not just jail.|It's my job, my career,
my entire education|shot to blistering fuck!
Can you imagine explaining|a statutory rape conviction
or even an accusation|to a tenure committee?
Can you?
Bryce, sit down.
You're going to wear tracks|in these people's carpet.
I only wanted|to get laid.
Instead,|I'm getting fucked!
Nick, I want to let|the girl go.
I'm raring to get her|the hell out of here,
but the only way|I can do that
is if she can guarantee|that she won't tell anyone,
and I don't see|how she can do that.
You won't take|her promise?
She's shown herself to be|a pillar of truthfulness.
And I can't bribe her.|I've got nothing to offer.
And--
Past that, and my thinking|just fails me.
I-- I don't think|I could threaten her.
I could.
What?
I already played|the good cop down there,
so maybe if I go down|and pull a reversal?
Scare the shit out of her.
We're fucked.
You're telling me.
P.A.: Welcome to Tropico|Recycling Company.
Glass goes...
[Glass Clinking]
Nick!
Sorry, man. I forgot|about your dad's funeral.
Of all days, Barry.
I'm really sorry.
[Cat Screeches]
[Cat Moaning]
Oh, shit!
Man: Is it yours?
Nick: No.|My neighbor's.
He home?
We OK if I say|she was dead on arrival?
Yeah.
I'm going to|put her down.
Um, excuse me.
The shot costs $30.00.
I'm sorry.
It's the least|I can do.
There you go.
Thanks.
Here's 1 0 back.
Cheap absolution.
I'm sorry.|I'm really running late.
Oh, OK. Go ahead.
I'll just get the info|from her collar.
Thank you.
Shit!
Ah, shit.
Ever feel like the world's|conspiring against you?
My name's Nick,|by the way.
Mine's Myrtle.
Myrtle.
Really?
[Chuckling]
No.
Thank God.
It's Lissa.
I was just trying to|lower your expectations.
Two Ss?
Yeah. It's short|for Melissa.
When I was learning|to talk,
I used to pronounce|it '' Me Lissa,''
as in '' Me Tarzan,''|so the story goes.
Thanks for the lift.
[Praying]
Let the Lord lift up His|countenance about him
and give him peace.|Amen.
Nick: I never would|have come back here
after college,|but my father got sick,
so I came home|to take care of him.
Oh, yeah?
Mm-hmm. So anyway,|what's your excuse?
I took the equivalency exam|after sophomore year--
off to be an actress.
Actress?
What, ''actress''?
Can never be sure|if you're being straight,
with you.
You can never be sure,|anyway.
So the first camera|I got in front of--
this incredibly|imposing machinery,
like, right in my face--
and I just...froze.
[Chuckles]
Claustrophobic,|I think.
So it's back to home|and school
and the local vet|to make a buck.
How long have you|lived here?
All my life.
Me, too.|Lafayette High.
Me, too.
So back to school where,|S.U.T.?
Mm-hmm.
The extension program,|studying art.
My dad taught there.|Chaired the history department.
Really?
This was before they|put him in the urn.
Waitress:|Here you go, sweetie.
Thank you.
Are you all done here?
Mm-hmm. Thanks.
So in an effort to avoid|a similar fate,
next week I will plunder|my father's belongings
for their few items|of value,
go collect my inheritance,
and when all that|is accomplished,
I will quietly, promptly|leave Tropico.
Just that easy?
No.
Well...
it's been nice|meeting you.
I'm sorry we didn't|till now.
Thanks for lunch.
Thanks for dinner.
Thanks for the wake.
[Chuckles]
# I try so hard to remember #
Bye.
Bye.
#What it is that I forgot #
# But I can't|but I can't believe #
#Will you now #
# I've tried|I've tried, I've tried #
# Cried and kissed them bye #
[Giggling]
# Something that we both know #
# Boy, you're on my mind #
# I don't know|how I'm going to #
# Show you what I feel for you #
# But all I know|all I know is I #
# I want to be with you #
#All I know|All I know is I #
#All I know|All I know is I #
# I got to be with you #
Rumor has it he was|a pretty good teacher.
I think you would have|liked him.
This is what he looked like.
Hmm... hmm...
Very sexy.
Really?
Really?
Hmm.
[Elevator Bell Rings]
Sorry. Sorry.
[Knock On Door]
Oh, hi, Nick.
How are you?|Good to see you.
Nick.
Hi.
Come in. Sit down.
I'm really sorry|about your father.
Yeah. I'm going to|miss him.
I brought|his favorite pen.
I've got news.
St. Vincent's Memorial
conducted an autopsy|on your father
and discovered that|his liver was near failure--
a condition which your father|apparently knew of
and failed to list
on his life insurance|application,
which constitutes|a deliberate misrepresentation
and invalidates|his policy.
Which means what,
that I--|that I would--
You don't get|the insurance money.
As a result, I've had to|inform the I.R.S.
of a new compensation|schedule
until the sale|of the house is complete.
Wait, wait, wait.|The I.R.S.?
Your father didn't|mention his back tax...
No.
obligation.
Your father owed|$200,000 in back taxes.
Uh, consequently,|these assets
are subject to a lien,
so the government|has seized them all.
Well, his estate|should constitute
more than that,|right?
After house payments,|your college tuition,
uh, my fees...
What's left over?
It depends on the sale|of the house,
which the bank|has seized title of.
What do I get?
If it goes|for the asking price,
after taxes...
Ah.
Nothing.
Barry: So...
did everything go OK|with your lawyer?
Huh? Are you going|to get the money?
Yeah. It was fine.
Oh, sorry|about that.
So, you going to|give your notice?
No. I thought I'd|stick around a little longer.
Anyway, if I go,|who's going to get my job?
I don't know.
[Car Horn Honks]
Mmm.
Uh, see you later.
Woman: You know, you really|have to use a little imagination
when you're looking|at an old house like this.
It's a really nice|opportunity--
a fixer-upper for first-time|buyers like yourselves.
It's a very good buy.
Hi.
Hi.
Come on in.
The American Empire|Dismantled.
Your father's?
'' History Master's|Thesis...
Mmm.
by Nick|Thornberry.''
You inherited|his passion.
But that's all.
Tropico, the time has come|for you to pitch in--
your cans, your bottles,|your other recyclables.
Hi. I'm Mitch Bennett,
president and owner-operator|ofTropico Recycling Company,
inviting you all|to come on down and pitch in.
Both: Tropico and recycling--|Together, we're on the move.
Bennett: Once more,|please,
with conviction.
And action!
Nick and Lissa:|Tropico and recycling--
Together,|we're on the move.
Good. Cut.
All right, all right.|Now, uh...
[Speaking Spanish]
Bennett: I want you|to go get Oscar,
get that crane|over there...
The things we do|for minimum wage.
Nick: So can you|help me out?
I'm sorry, guy.
Once the ad runs,|then we'll talk.
Right now,|I can't help you.
I'm not asking|for a loan.
It's money owed|for services rendered.
Hey, listen to me.
It's not possible|right now.
Look, I know you're|short at the moment,
but, hey,|everybody's short.
All right. Forget it.
Reuben, I thought|I told you not to laugh.
What are you doing, huh?|What's wrong with you?
Barry: Look, he's my friend.|Let me talk to him.
I'm telling you,|I don't care
how long|you've known him.
Nick.
Yeah?
Do you know--
Dude, if you|say my name,
I'm telling you,|you're out of this.
Out of what?
Shh.
Come on.
Shit. Um,|just tell him.
Nick, are you|doing anything tonight?
Come on. Come on!
[La Bamba Playing|Over P.A. System]
Bennett's Voice: Welcome|to Tropico Recycling Company.
Glass goes to bay 4,|plastics to bay 1 2.
Thanks for your business.
Barry: OK. The thing is,
my friend here,|he works
for a pretty big|guy in town.
Why don't you|want me
to know|your name?
Because if you|get busted,
how are you going to|identify me?
What, he was a black guy|with curly hair?
This guy, Nick,
is under serious|police investigation
right now.
He thinks he's going|to get busted anytime.
So every night,|he moves his stash
from one house|to another
so that the cops can't|get a search warrant
in time to snatch him.
Tonight the stash|is atJimmy's house.
You know, you got to have|pond water for brains, man.
Oh! I'm sorry.
I got a sofa at home|smarter than you.
I like saying|people's names.
Look,just shut--
Look, man.|It's a real easy job.
Barry breaks into my spot
when I'm pulling|watchdog duty alone, right?
He grabs the stuff|and knocks me out
just to make it look good.
You're willing|to take that lump?
For half of $40,000?|Yeah.
It's a two-man|job, Nick,
except we need|a driver, OK?
Jimmy's first choice
got the runs real|bad this morning,
so I recommended|you.
Now, the way|I'm seeing it is like
we give you a fourth|of what we take.
I mean, your job's|too easy--
It's really too safe|for anything more than that.
Come on, Nick--|as a favor to me.
Jimmy: Look, it's|one night's work, man.
I mean, the only way|you can possibly fuck up
is if you forget to put|gas in the car.
Shit.
Barry's got two tickets|to the ball game tonight,
and he invited me along.
You going to go?
Yeah, I guess so.
Come by, though.|I'll be back around 1 1 :00.
OK.
Nick: You got to|eat those now?
It's a nervous|habit.
Game time.
Christ,|that was easy.
That's it?|You got it?
Right here. Want to|drive a little?
Ha ha ha!
[Coughing]
Jimmy's going to have|an Advil binge tomorrow.
Oh.
Ha ha ha!
You're not too bright,|are you, Barry?
Nope.
Ha ha ha!
[Door Opens]
Nick: Hi.
Hi.
I brought you something.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
What?
So people|will stop laughing
at your music collection.
The Space|Between Us?
What is this?
That's what the kids|are listening to nowadays.
Cool, thanks.
How was the game?
It was fine.
You want to know|what the score was?
I listened to|a sports radio show
so I could lie|factually.
You don't have to|tell me where you've been.
I will if you ask.
I'm thinking|of moving again.
Where?
Um, Peru. Malta.|Portland, Oregon.
I don't know.
I hear it's nice|in Portland.
Want to come?
Please?
Well, when were you|planning on going?
Um, a couple|of weeks.
As soon as|you've finished
your masterpiece.
Is that a no?
It's a yes,|you cocksucker.
So?
Hey, Barry. Nick here
at 30 minutes after|you were supposed to be here
reminding you that|the future state of our finances
does not excuse us|from our efforts here at work.
Hope you're on your way.
Can I help you?
Get in the car.
Right.
Bennett's Voice:|Tropico Recycling Company.
Glass goes to bay 4,|plastics to bay 1 2.
Thanks for your business.
Man: That's right.|Nice and easy.
We're just going|for a little drive.
How you doing?
We ain't met.
Know who I am?
I got a couple|of guesses.
I'm the guy you stole|$40,000 from last night.
Your suspicion's|correct.
I thought you'd be|an older guy.
My profession don't|promote career longevity.
It's a young man's|business.
It don't matter|how I found out.
I found out.
No matter how sorry|you feel,
you're going|to feel sorrier.
And it don't matter|how you plan to fix it,
because that plan|is obsolete.
Freddie, take that shit|off of your head.
What for?
Take that shit|off of your head
and give it to him.
Blindfold yourself.
Why?
Because I don't|know you,
and I don't know|who you know.
Have you ever read|Adam Smith's
An Inquiry into|the Nature and Causes
of the Wealth of Nations?
Uh-uh.
In it, the man addresses
the two simple laws|of the market.
The first law: self-interest.
It is not from the benevolence|of the butcher, the brewer,
the fucking baker|that we expect our dinner,
but from their self-interest.
I don't sell junk|because I feel a civic duty.
I do it out of...
self-interest.
Second law: competition.
Only under the check|of competition
is a man's self-interest|regulated from ruthlessness.
I don't charge|a C-note a pop
because I think|some other dude
is going to|underprice me.
No. I don't overcharge|because what suppresses me?
Competition.
Consequently,|a man's motivations of...
Self-interest...
are transmuted by...
Competition...
to yield social harmony.
You, motherfucker,|have fucked
with the laws|of the market.
You have fucked|with competition.
You have deregulated|the self-interest
of some other|dope-peddling fuck.
You done fucked up|harmony.
You must un-fuck it!
This is all|simple economics.
Jimmy: Fuck. Come on.|Come on.
Come on.
Jimmy has learned|a lot about economics
the last few hours.
Keynesian theory,|market trends,
all that shit.
Taught him the difference|between laissez-faire,
which is what|I'm doing right now,
and intervention,|which is what I'm about to do.
We tried to see|your other associate-- Barry?
He was not at home.
Neither was most|of his clothes.
We surmised he would|not be returning soon,
so we came to see you.
[Jimmy Groaning]
What do you want?|Financial reparation?
What do you want?
Motherfucker|likes big words.
You hold that|thought, though.
Got to see|the show first.
You rememberJimmy.|Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Quit it. All right,|Freddie. Cola.
[Muffled Screaming]
A little carbonation|up the sinuses
will fuck you up good.
Freddie: The drink|that refreshes.
Now let's deal.
I don't have your stash.
Then I want|reparation--
$40,000.
I don't have that,|either.
Oh, I think you do.
You're just|being coy.
What was your cut?
A fourth.
we're all square.
You don't have it|by Sunday,
then you take|the taste test.
If you run...
this is what your world|will look like.
[Tires Screeching]
[Nick Dialing Telephone]
Bryce: Hey, Nick,|it's Bryce.
Guess who's moving|to Tropico--
[Fast-Forwarding Tape]
[Beep]
Barry: Nick,|it's Barry. Listen,
Jimmy isn't answering|his phone.
I think things got|fucked up.
I'm taking off|for a while
till I get ahold|of him.
[Beep]
Nick: Call the office,|you son of a bitch.
Lissa: Things got|fucked up with Jimmy?
Yeah. He's some friend|of Barry's--
assistant manager prospect.
He was supposed to|show up tomorrow,
and the guy's|a complete flake.
Nick.
I'm in the doghouse.
Lissa: I have 1 ,000.
No, no. Don't|burden yourself
with my fuck-ups.
Hey.
It's only money.
Besides, I've built up|a certain tolerance
for your fuck-ups.
I think I can|burden myself a little.
All right. 1 ,400.
We could sell|your car.
Another 3,000,|maybe 4,000.
That's still|1 0 grand short.
My only question is,|why pay them at all?
It's just buying us
the right to keep|living here,
and we're leaving|anyway.
I think if I try and run|and they find me,
they're going to hurt me.
Then don't run.
We'll pay them.
OK.
So, 5 days to raise|$1 0,000.
You know what a champ|I am at asking for money.
No. No, Nick.|I told you.
In a month or so,|we'll discuss this.
No. It can't wait.
I need an advance today,|or I'm through.
Look, I appreciate you|taking Barry's shift,
and I'm going to pay you|double-time for it,
but that doesn't change|my cash flow.
The next words out of|your mouth are ''Yes, Nick,''
or you're|locking up tonight.
Don't try to|blackmail me, Nick.
Fuck!
Aah!
Shit.
[Beep]
Bryce: Nick,|this is Bryce again.
I just landed in town.
Got a phone number|for you: 5 5 5-01 73.
You know, also,|I was wondering,
is there a good|mechanic in town?
Because my gearshift|just took a crap on me.
Give me a call, babe.
[Beep]
Bryce!
Woman On Radio: #There's a new boy|in the neighborhood #
# I'd like to meet him|if I could #
# He's got the look|that I dream about #
# Makes the other girls|scream and shout #
Hey.
Hey.
Welcome|to Tropico.
Duck and cover.
Nick. Come here, man.|Come here.
God, it's great|to see you.
You still got|the Charger.
That's terrific.|That's terrific.
You don't see a lot|of white people
driving these nowadays,|but, hey, man, good for you.
Come on.|Let's get out of here.
Let's go.Jim,|we'll talk to you.
Nick: Wow.
Bryce: Wait till|you see inside.
So we have survey|courses to start--
American lit., Brit. lit.,
everything that should be|taught in high school.
Hawthorne,James,|Fitzgerald.
Nick: ''So we beat on,|boats against the current,
borne back ceaselessly|with the past.''
F. Scott, Great Gatsby.
That's a book he wrote.
We don't|actually read
anything we teach.
The department chair|gives us Cliff Notes
at the beginning|of the semester,
and we just say|whatever's in those.
That's convenient.
[Beeping]
Can you shut|the door?
Thanks.
A tad excessive.
The guy I'm|house-sitting for--
a tad retentive.
Bryce: Can you believe|this place?
Mr. Beaumont's a local|guy who made good.
He built this house|overlooking Tropico
to remind everyone.
Visual.
Liquid.
Jesus Christ.
Here we have|the corridor of wonder.
The man likes carpet.
Even on|the toilet seat
for those prolonged|stays of leisure.
Oh, and observe|the cabinet of whimsy.
Huh.
Isn't that great?
Oh, that reminds me--
How's your dad?
You still live|with him, right?
No. He's dead.
Jesus. I'm--|I'm sorry.
It's OK. It was|a few months ago.
Weird.
Hey, I've got
something|to show you.
It's a stay of execution|for a Union deserter
during the Battle|of Vicksburg--
Mr. Beaumont's great-|great-somebody-or-other--
but check out the sig.
Honest Abe. Didn't|he ever get tired
of emancipating|people?
Supposedly the stay|was last-minute,
and it was the only|paper around.
Anyway, I remember
you used to dabble|in history, so...
I thought|I'd give you a show.
You paying them anything|to live here?
Rent is nil|on 3 conditions:
feed the plants,|keep the place clean,
and don't invite|anyone over.
I'm making|an exception for you.
Bryce McCarthy,|you risk-taker.
The starting|professorial salary is shit.
I'm really lucky|to have this place.
Your parents|have money, right?
Their own mint.
The last few years,|they've developed
this financial|tough-love philosophy
on their kids-- sort of|a benign neglect
without|the benign part.
What, they cut you off?
Yup.
This life of austerity|is killing me.
Ha ha ha!
[Dogs Barking]
Man: Lincoln,|Lincoln, Lincoln.
Signature goes|for about $7 5,000.
Do any of these|look familiar? Here.
Nick: Um...
Yeah. This right here,
only these two things|are switched.
- That one?|- Yeah.
That's a rare item there.
Trial printing.
Only a few in existence,|and worth about, uh...
$200,000. Whoo!
So the two together|would be worth...
That's a $300,000|stay of execution.
Unfortunately, it does|you no good to steal it.
Ha! That's speaking|presumptuously.
Yeah. Well, you're|asking about it,
and it's not yours.
Why would it do me no good|to steal it?
Most items like those,|they're registered.
Hence,|they're immovable.
Now, uh... even if this one|happens to be unregistered,
you steal it,|owner reports the theft,
well, it's|immovable again.
What if it wasn't|reported stolen?
Why wouldn't it be?
I don't know.|What if?
You'd have to wait|two months.
After 60 days,|no theft report,
you can sell|the thing.
Of course,|you'd want to muddy
the trail of ownership|leading back to you,
but that's not hard to do|if you have the right fence.
And...
what would|the right fence take?
Ten percent?
Twenty.
Ha ha ha!
You want me to check
and see if there's|a listing on it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look around.
Nick: It's unregistered,|which means it's fair game.
Charlie, the guy who|looked it up for me,
he said he'd|advance me 1 5 grand
upon receipt|of the stay.
Then once he sold it,|he'd send us the rest.
You trust him?
Yeah.
OK. So the trick is|to steal it from a house
with an elaborate alarm system
and a house-sitter who's not|allowed to invite anyone over
without having it reported|stolen for at least two months?
And without|getting caught.
So how well|do you know Bryce?
If you're asking|can we bring him in on it,
no, I don't think so.
You don't trust him.
Our sophomore year|in college,
he cheated|on a midterm exam.
He got caught,|he confessed,
and he gave up the other|two guys, as well.
So we got to steal|the thing outright
So we got to steal|the thing outright
and somehow make sure|Bryce doesn't report it.
He's got to believe that he's|going to get in more trouble
reporting it than not.
How?
Make him think|he committed a crime.
Murder's the obvious choice.
How do you convince somebody|he's a murderer?
Other crimes--|arson, burglary, rape.
How do you convince him|that he did that?
What?
Well...
You can make it|statutory.
You want me|to lay your friend?
No! No, of course|I don't.
You fuck him, Nick.
Liss...
And after that,|you know who else you can.
Liss, come on!
[Door Closes]
[Telephone Rings]
Answering Machine: This is Nick.|Leave a message.
[Beep]
Man: Tick-tock,|tick-tock,
the mouse ran out the clock,|motherfucker.
[Beep]
[Truck Drives Off]
Ohh!
God.
Nick?
Oh, my God.
OK.
OK. I'll do it.
Oh, Liss.
I'm sorry.
You fucking bastard.
You know what you did.
You bastard.|You fucking bastard!
You know what you did.
You bastard!
Nick: Bryce, it's Nick.
Yeah. How are you?
Good. Good.
Listen, what are you|doing tomorrow night?
No, I got a place. It's called|the Tropico Nocturne.
Nocturne.
Wait. Hold on|one second.
[Telephone Beeps]
Hello.
Yeah, this is he.
Uh-huh. I'll have the money|Sunday morning.
OK. I'll be here.
Say no, and we'll
just call the whole|thing off right now.
Hmm?
Once you've given him
reasonable cause|for concern...
get the hell|out of there.
Wait for the cab|outside on the street,
not even|on the property.
OK.
Is that all?
Yeah, I think so.
I won't see you|until tomorrow night,
and I probably won't|come back here afterwards...
but I'll call you|as soon as it's over.
OK.
If that's|what you want, OK.
Nick.
Are you going to be|OKwith this?
I don't know.
I guess I have to be.|I want to be.
Liss.
Yeah.
Hi, this is me,|and I'm here,
just entertaining some|last-minute reservations.
I thought maybe|you'd want to stop by.
Calling your|girlfriend already?
Hey, have her set me up|with a friend.
I could use getting laid.|Hey, bring a friend!
[Sirens Passing]
Bryce: I got|a joke for you.
There's this elephant|in the jungle,
and he's got a thorn|caught in his foot.
This mouse wanders by.
The elephant|stops him and says,
''I'll give you anything
if you take the thorn|out of my foot.''
The mouse goes, ''OK,|under one condition.
Afterward, I get|to fuck you up the ass.''
And the elephant|nods OK.
The mouse takes this|thorn out of his foot.
The mouse says, '' Hey,|we had an agreement.''
And the elephant|goes, ''OK.''
So the mouse jumps|on top of his back,
he starts|giving the elephant
his business, right?
And meanwhile,|there's a monkey
up above in the trees.
The monkey looks down,
and he sees this mouse|sodomizing this elephant,
and the monkey's|just disgusted.
And he's so upset
that he grabs a coconut|from the tree,
he hurls it|down at them,
the coconut hits the|elephant in the head,
the elephant|hollers in pain,
and the mouse says,|''That's right, baby.
Take it all!''|Ha ha ha!
No. No.
Yes. Yes.
I got to go|to the bathroom.
Ye of little bladder.
Can I set|a running tab, please?
Woman: No problem.
Get out of here.
No.
Listen...
I love you.
Why do you think|I'm doing this?
Woman: Thanks, hon.
[Giggling]
I know, I know. I have|a terrible drinking problem.
Whiskey doesn't|stain, does it?
I don't think so.
Well, it's a hand-me-down|anyway.
Brooks Brothers|handed it down to me.
You want to sit down?
It's only a college buddy|and me.
Sure.
I'm here|by myself, anyway.
I'm Bryce.
I'm Kathy.
Hi, Kathy.
You're back.|Kathy, this is Nick.
- Nick: Hi.|- Hi.
Is this your seat?
Nope. Not anymore.
Could I get that|jacket from you?
Thanks. Bryce,|I'll see you later.
I'm going to go.
Is everything OK?
Yeah. I'm just|a little preoccupied.
No kidding. It's been discovered|that our friend here
is on a very short leash.
Nick: I took care|of that tab.
- Will you at least tip?|- Mm-hmm.
OK. I'll call you tomorrow.|Nice to meet you, Kathy.
Nick: I'm sorry.
Bryce: Nick! There's nothing|to apologize about.
It's OK.
See you, Nick.|See you, buddy.
[Moaning]
We're fucked.
You're telling me.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I never meant this to happen.|I promise you. I promise.
You didn't|get the key?
Where is it?
Bryce has it.
The note?
No, the key.|I have the note.
No. It's not|in your purse.
I didn't put it|in my purse.
I have it.
What happened?
He just laid there|for a while afterwards.
This is after you...
What then?
Then I started|into my speech,
but he just went|fucking ballistic,
and I tried to go|for the door...
He didn't do anything|to you, did he?
He dragged me down|the stairs, Nick.
I know. I'm sorry.|I'm sorry.
He's just|a bad drunk is all.
I must look terrific|about now.
No, you...
You wear captivity well.
So where is it? The note.|Where is it?
Really?
You could at least kiss|me when you do that.
Baby.
Thanks.
That was|really sweet.
[Thumping From Upstairs]
...Lord today?
Have you? Have you thought|about the Lord lately?
I'm glad|you're here.
I'm glad, too.
It doesn't mean we have|to stick around, though.
I know.
So, what are we|going to do?
Well, I have two ideas.
First one, I break that pole,|you slide your arms out,
and we go home.
I like that idea.
Do we get the money?
I don't know.
He's been upstairs studying your I.D.s|for the past two hours.
Does he know|they're both fake?
Not yet.
What's idea two?
Bryce: What'd she say?!
'' My uncle is|a fucking lawyer.
He's going to|have your ass.
He's going to|tear the scrotums
off you|cocksuckers, you--''
Jesus! That's it, Nick.
She's not|going to drop it?
What was that|one line? Uh...
'' Both of you are going to rot|in jail the rest of your lives.
Going to be mayors|of ass-rape city.''
[Gagging]
Nick: You might want|to lift the lid there.
[Vomiting]
Jesus, Nick.
Jesus, this shitty|little girl.
You work your whole life,|and one goddamn night, you--
write a doctoral thesis|on Middle English, Middle--
[Vomiting]
Middle fucking English!
To get fucked by some|prom queen in training.
I came once!|I can't even remember.
So you don't get tenure.|So what?
Well, fuck tenure.|I'm unhirable.
I can't even|get a janitor's job.
I might as well|do what you do.
It's all I ever wanted|to do, Nick, was teach.
It's all I know|how to do,
and now I can't because|Miss Bitch-City downstairs
won't let me.
I'm so fucked.
We are.
What?
Aiding and abetting,|Bryce.
Kidnapping.
She's bringing that|against me, too?
Us, Bryce! Us.
Wicked fucking|bitch. Bitch!
Here. Come here.
Wait!
You done?
[Flushes Toilet]
Hey...
I screwed it.|I'm sorry.
She's whacked.
I know.
There's no way you could reason|with someone like that.
God, I'd like|to kill the girl.
She showed up at the bar|alone, right?
Yeah, I think.
Didn't seem like|she knew anybody there,
and nobody would remember you|two leaving together, right?
No, the bartender|saw her kiss me.
I mean, why? What|are you suggesting?
Television: Tropico, the time|has come for you to pitch in.
Bryce.
Hey, are you in this?
It has the production|value of bad porn.
Bryce, you prick.
What?
Why'd you call me?
Why did I call you?
Yeah. Huh?
I called you|because I needed help.
You're a sly one, man.
You're a fucking|sly one!
I'm not trying|to be sly.
Talk to me.
I needed your advice!
Then stop fucking|patronizing me!
I know what you're doing!
Tropico Recycling.|Together...
What?
You have been playing me|for the fool all night,
ever since I walked in|that door.
''What are you|suggesting, Nick?''
Oh, you are sweet.
If you want to kill her,|then say so,
but don't|play games with me.
Kill her?
It's why I got the call--
to give you the nerve.|It's out in the open now.
Don't pussyfoot around.
I-- I...|Kill her?
Yes, Bryce.
I couldn't do that.
You couldn't.
Well, we couldn't.
I can't believe that|you're even saying this.
I mean, actually kill her?|Take her life?
No, the other sense|of the word ''kill.''
What are you doing?
I'm looking|for a pillow.
What for?
There.
Have yourself a time.
This is not|why I called you.
Why else? You were|looking for an alternative
to letting her go?
What other alternative|did you think I'd suggest?
Consciously or not,|this is what you want.
This is why|you called me.
Can we really do this?
Come here.
Sit.
Can we do this?|Yes, I think we can.
No one can associate you|with the girl.
There are no witnesses|to your meeting except me,
and I'm your alibi|for the entire evening.
No, no. I mean,|can we really...
I mean,|she's-- she's--
She's a person, I know,|with an actual life,
and we're talking|about ending it.
You're right. That's...|That's pretty horrible.
But remember, we're talking|about 3 lives here--
hers and both of ours.
I just want to do|what's right.
I do, too.
And this is a moral issue,|but it's also a practical one.
The greatest good for|the greatest number of people.
It's a tough one, granted.
We save her, we screw us,|and vice versa,
But think--|Who's worth saving here?
Who's created this problem?
Someone is going to|get hurt, Bryce.
It's just|a question of who.
Anyway.
It's your decision to make.|I'll stand by whatever you say.
OK.
I guess I'll do it.
No, no, no. I'll do it.
You sure?
That's why you called.
What's that?
It's what|it looks like.
She gave you that?
It's weird|because I remember her
being really into it,|screaming like a champ.
I must have been|doing something right.
I need the key|now, Bryce.
What?
Handcuffs.
Oh.
[Exhales]
I'll be back|in a couple minutes.
What now?
You die.
Oh, God.
Huh!
All right.
[Alarm Ringing]
Oh! Sorry.
[Alarm Stops]
You need a hand?
No. I got her.
Shit. I forgot|her purse.
Just hang in there|a little longer.
I'll have you out|in two seconds.
I don't know if I want|to go through with this.
It's just a little longer.|Just hang in there, OK?
Nick, please.
Bryce:|What are you doing?
What do you mean?
No, you're not|coming with me.
Yeah, I am.
No. I don't want you.|I can't use you.
What are you|going to do?
There's an incinerator|at the recycling plant.
I'm going to|put her in it.
Is that safe?
Nobody arrives|at work till 9:00,
now get out.|Come on.
Wait!|What about her car?
All right,|what about it?!
If they report her missing,|the police will track the car.
When they find it, they'll|ask around the Nocturne.
OK, fine.|I'll move it.
You'll need the keys.
You have them?
Look, I can't|stay here alone!
I just can't stay here.
I-- I need to eat|something.
OK.
I'll drop you off|to eat.
Then I'll deal|with the girl...
and then I'll deal|with her car.
OK?
OK.
OK.
[Starts Engine]
Isn't there a minimum|speed limit or something?
Man On Radio:|# Glow worm, glimmer, glimmer #
# Lead us, lest too far|we wander #
# Love's sweet voice|is callin' yonder #
# Shine, little glow worm|glimmer, glimmer, hey #
#And don't get|dimmer, dimmer #
# Light the path|below, above #
#And lead us on|to love #
Ha ha ha!
What?
This song.
What about it?
It's all about sperm.
No, it's not.
Oh, come on.
'' Light the path that|leads us on to love''?
This little glow worm is like|Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Sperm,
leading|all the other sperm up.
Of course it is.
[Turns Off Radio]
You know, not|everything in the world
revolves around fucking.
No,just most things.
No, they don't.
They revolve around|money and power
and sometimes spite.
You know what?|That's history's view.
Literature's view is|it's all about fucking.
[Siren]
Oh, shit.
Nick, turn around.
Nick!
Goddamn it, Bryce,|calm the fuck down!
Shit, Nick.|Nick, turn around!
Calm down.|Calm down.
Slow down!|Slow down!
All right, we got a car|coming through!
Clear a lane there!|Clear a lane!
[Men Shouting]
Keep moving there.|Keep moving.
Let's get some hands|over here!
Pull around|to the left there.
You guys, over here.
Get that hose|straightened.
Bryce: Nick? Nick, there's|a car following us.
Nick: Keep it up,|Bryce.
Drunk and paranoid|looks good on you.
Shit! I think|it's a cop, Nick.
They're going to stop us.|What if they stop us?
What if they check|the trunk?
Shut the fuck up!
See?|It's not a cop.
Nick?
Man: Time's up,|motherfucker!
Aah! Aah!
Get out|of the fucking car!
Bryce: Please!|Please! Please!
No! No! No!|No! No! No!
Don't hit--|Don't hit-- Don't hit me!
Don't hit me!|Don't hit me!
[Engine Revving]
You fuck!
I'll fucking kill you,|you son of a bitch!
Ugh!
Nick!
Nick!
What are we|going to do now?
They just took the car!|They're going to find her!
Lissa, Lissa, Lissa,|Lissa, Lissa, Lissa...
Nick!
Nick, what are we|going to do?
Quiet!
Nick, they're going to--
They're going to|call the police.
Bryce,|they're car thieves.
They're not going to|call the police.
Nick, get up!
Come on.
Nick, get up.
Nick.
Nick, what--
I'll take care of it.
Just go home, OK?|Just go home.
But--
Just--Just...
[Telephone Rings]
[Ring]
Nick, Answering Machine:|This is Nick. Leave a message.
I'm here.|I'm here. I'm here.
[Beep]
Hello?
Man: We got|something of yours.
Got two things|of yours, actually.
What do you|want me to do?
Stop checking your ass|out in the mirror.
You coming?
Man: Boy, you got|a funny idea about chivalry.
When me and my lady|go driving,
she always rides|up front with me.
I thought our date|was Sunday.
It was.|I bumped it up.
Thought you might be getting|a little flighty.
Apparently you've been|getting something.
What the fuck|you been up to?
Where is she?
Man: Don't worry.
We ain't offered her|any soda.
a very curious economic|system in this country.
There was|a civil war.
Yeah. I read|about it.
But before that,
my great-great-great-|grandmother
was put up for auction.
Set a female record|in Georgia-- $800.
Now, given inflation|with today's dollars,
she was sold|for approximately...
Is that|your asking price?
Mm-hmm. That will be a total|of $25,000 you owe me.
I can get you 20|in 3 or 4 hours,
if you can wait|that long.
Freddie will|drive you back.
Your girlfriend|will stay here...
while you go get|your daddy's money.
Wait a minute.
How did you know|about my dad?
[Crack]
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Man: Hey!
Hey.
Man: Oh...
fuck!
Nick.
Ha ha!
It's just...
you know...
What did we steal?
Baking flour.
We thought you got|all that money
from your dad,|you know, and the house.
Ha ha! What's 20 grand?
I mean, come on.
We didn't expect you|to pull all this shit.
What's your story?
I'm a finance major.
We all got|tuitions to pay.
Uh...
I'm just|his cousin, man.
Man:|By marriage.
Ha ha ha!
[Moaning]
Aah! You fuck!
[Glass Shattering]
[All Shouting At Once]
Come on, man!|Calm down, man!
Get up off of me!
What the hell is wrong|with you, man?
Calm down!
Man: Come on, man.|Let's get him out of here.
Come on, let's go.
What, you never fucked|a friend before?
No-- No hard|feelings, man.
Hey, sorry about|your car, dude.
Uh, you can call the police|if you want,
but you know,|you do that,
we'll start mentioning|the chick in the trunk.
Man: #Take me back #
We'll try and get|your wheels back.
#To where you hide #
# Lay me down #
# Lay me down inside #
# Lay me down inside #
Excuse me. Do you know|what time it is?
We got to be at Charlie's|in two hours.
But, Nick, why?
It's the most fucked-up|night of my pathetic life.
[Car Horns Honking]
Lissa!
Liss!
Liss!
Wait! Look,|I'm sorry!
I'm sorry I put you|through all this!
Don't apologize|to me, Nick. Don't.
That only makes this|whole situation worse.
You were in a hole,
and I did what|I needed to do.
But we can still|salvage some of this.
We can still|get the money.
The money, Nick?
Bryce has no idea you're|still alive. We could--
What,just|fuck him over?
Just fuck him over|for the hell of it?
This was never|about money, Nick.
This was about you|being stuck
in the same place|for your whole life.
Shit.
You two together?
I'm not sure.
[Toilet Flushing]
Nick!
Jesus, you're here.
Bryce.
What's going on?|Did you find the car?
What are you|doing here?
I was starved. This was|the only place open.
I told you|to go home.
Yeah, I know,|but, um...
Nick, I don't think|I can handle this.
I've got this|sick feeling inside.
It's like a tightness|in my chest,
and I feel like it's|kind of going to burst.
You killed her, Nick.
Excuse me?
You killed her.|You smothered her.
I mean,|she was a person.
Now she's just dead.
Lissa: Yeah,|can I get a cab?
OK? And I can't|handle it.
I mean, I just can't|go through with it.
I got to talk|to somebody.
Yeah? Ha ha!
Of course you do.
I'm sorry, Nick.|I got to--
I'm going|to the police.
For me. I have to.
You know|something, Bryce?
You're an asshole.
In fact, you've always|been an asshole,
even in college.
I think that's why|I never really liked you.
Nick, I'm having a crisis|of conscience here.
There's no need|to be rude.
Oh. What the fuck|is this?
What the fuck|is that?
Lissa, wait.
What?
Lissa?
Christ, she's not--
What--
What the fuck|is going on?
Bryce, this is Lissa.
She's my girlfriend.
Was my girlfriend.
What happened? I mean,|I thought she was in--
She slept with you...
to steal that...
to save my life.
And if she leaves me now,
I'm never going to be able|to make it up to her,
and I badly need|to make it up to her.
[Door Closes]
Bryce: I never|liked you, either!
Wow.
Cabdriver: What's it|going to be-- in or out?
I thought|you were leaving.
I thought I was, too.
Then I realized|I didn't have any money.
Ha ha ha!
Let's walk?
Where?
Anywhere...
away from here.
Neneh Cherry:|#The first kiss #
#You planted|to my face #
#You planted|to my face #
#The second twist #
#The taste of fear #
#Took up all the space #
# In here #
- # More or less #|- # Pick a way out #
# In the twisted mess #
- # More or less #|- # Disintegrated #
# Strategically|impressed #
- # More or less #|- # No longer residents #
#At a new address #
- # More or less #|- # Scratch me like a perfume ad #
# Recycle|all the plans we had #
# More or less #
- #Whenever I think #|- # More or less #
- #Whoever I take #|- # More or less #
- # However it breaks #|- # More or less #
# Someone's|going to fall #
# I sense a grain|of stress #
# Hurting you|more or less #
# I pick up|this twisted mess #
# Like sinking ships #
# Dragged into abyss #
#Just slammin' #
# In sinfulness #
#Wherever I take|the night #
# Keepin' it|eye to eye #
#Just slammin' #
#With tastiness #
# Pick a way out|in the twisted mess #
- # More or less #|- # Disintegrated #
# Strategically|digress #
- # More or less #|- # No longer residents #
#At your own address #
- # More or less #|- #Watch me like a prison guard #
- # Swipe me like a credit card #|- # More or less #
- #Whenever I think #|- # More or less #
- #Whoever I take #|- # More or less #
- # However it breaks #|- # More or less #
# Someone's|going to fall #
# I sense|a grain of stress #
# Hurting you|more or less #
# I pick up|this twisted mess #
# More or less #
# More or less #
#Take me, shake me,|knock me away #
#A million ways|that we relayed #
#We've all come|to suffocate #
#To make it through|the night today #
- # More or less #|- # Count the days strategically #
- # More or less #|-#The cravin' to believe in me #
- # More or less #|- #Who to blame and who to be #
- # More or less #|- # Make it through the night with me #
- # Now it's tastin'-- #|- #Whenever I think #
- #The fear that slowly-- #|- #Whatever I take #
- # Now I stop to-- #|- # However it breaks #
- #You belong to-- #|- # Someone's going to fall #
# I sense|a grain of stress #
- # Hurting you #|- # More or less #
# Now I stop to reminisce|and now #
# Movin' on|Picture this #
#Twisted mess #
#Twisted mess #
#Twisted mess #
#Twisted mess #
#Twisted mess #
#Twisted mess #