Big Store, The (1941) Movie Script
See? That's the way to play it.
Someday, you all gonna be big musicians
just like me, but you gotta practice.
Not on this piano.
Hey, you can't take this piano. She belongs
to the professor. He's upstairs, sick.
Go on, play something soft.
You're breaking my heart.
Come on, Joe.
- Hey, wait. Please, please.
My friend Tommy Rogers, he's gonna
be here right away. He'll fix everything.
Who's Tommy Rogers?
- You don't know Rogers, the singer?
Never heard of him.
- You never heard of him?
Let me show you who's Tommy Rogers.
That's his picture. Look at what he say.
"The late Hiram Phelps wills half
interest in his department store...
to his protg, Tommy Rogers. "
You mean a guy like that
would come to a joint like this?
What do you mean, "joint"?
Tommy get his start right here.
Hi, Ravelli.
- Hey, Tommy.
Where's the professor?
I brought that money for him.
You see? - Hey, what's
going on around here?
I had orders to take this piano.
We thought the place was closing up.
Closing up? Why, I'm gonna tear this
place down and build a real conservatory.
Now, what did I tell you? Conservatory.
- Excuse me, Mr. Rogers. Come on, Joe.
You hear that, kids?
A new conservatory.
A new conservatory!
Hooray for Tommy!
I'll build a conservatory we'll be proud of,
stained-glass windows, a real auditorium...
and we'll have soundproof
practice rooms.
That's fine. When do we start?
As soon as I sell my share
of the Phelps store.
You gonna sell the store?
- Sure.
What do I know about department stores?
I'm a musician. That's my business.
I want kids like these to have
the same opportunity that I've had.
Hey, let's go upstairs and
tell the professor. - Sure.
Come on.
See you later.
- So long.
Now, you kids practice
till I come back.
But remember,
no woogie-boogie.
Get working on those books,
Sutton, or we'll be in trouble.
You think Rogers will
sell, Mr. Grover?
He'll try. And if any real businessman
gets a look at our figures, we're sunk.
Get going on those books.
We haven't much time.
Yes, sir. I'll do my best.
Can you trust that guy? His sister works
in the music department and runs with Rogers.
She won't run with him long.
- Why?
If Tommy Rogers disappears,
his share of the store reverts to
Martha Phelps, the old man's sister.
So what?
Well, there'll be a society wedding.
Martha will make a stunning bride and
I rather fancy myself as a bridegroom.
And complete owner of
the Phelps store? - Naturally.
Now, can you arrange
the necessary disappearance?
I didn't bring Butch along for company.
- Yeah, I know what to do.
And make it look
like one of those accidents.
Sure, boss. You know me.
- Now, don't bungle it. Get going.
Will you keep a secret?
- Sure, even from me.
I think I found buyers for the store.
- Who and for how much?
The price hasn't been settled but it's
the Hastings brothers, the big store owners.
The deal looks pretty set. Tell
the professor to start looking at plans.
I better not leave you. From now on,
you and me is gonna be insufferable.
Hey, turn on the lights.
Turn on the lights.
Second floor.
Oh, help.
- What happened?
Tommy, what happened?
I don't know. Something happened.
I didn't see nothing wrong. The lights
went off and went right on again.
Tommy!
Tommy!
Are you all right, Tommy?
I mean, Mr. Rogers.
Excuse me, just a minute, please.
Why, Mr. Rogers, what's the trouble?
Just a little bump.
Somebody's elbow, I guess.
First the lights go out, then Tommy.
- Let me help.
No, I'm all right. - You'd better
see your aunt right away.
I want to see you a little later, Joan.
- Yes, sir.
Now come along with me.
Going down.
Nobody tell me that was an accident.
- It's the work of a disgruntled employee.
I'm calling the police.
Call the police department.
Wait a minute. Aren't you
taking this a little too seriously?
No, if anything should happen to you,
I'd be the first one blamed.
Aunt Martha, you read
too many detective stories.
Tommy's right. You're
making too much of this.
What's the matter, Ravelli?
- I see a very suspicious-looking man.
Tommy, who is this person?
- I'm Ravelli. I'm Tommy's best friend.
Your best friends are the police.
I'll call them.
Don't you think that calling the police
might result in a lot of...
well, undesirable publicity?
Remember the name of Phelps.
You're so right again.
You're always so right.
Mr. Grover.
- I'll take it in my office.
May I have the phone book?
- Yes.
Thank you.
Exercise number four.
Come on, now. One, two.
Now stretch.
One, two. Now stretch.
And now, friends, stand on your head
with your back against the wall.
Wacky.
Take this paper out and sell it.
Never mind.
What about my egg?
Wacky, quick, a customer.
Winthrop, get me
the district attorney.
Hello, DA? That's ridiculous, I've been
in constant touch with Scotland Yard.
Winthrop, get me Trinidad.
Hello, Dad, I won't be
home for dinner.
I came here to...
- Just a minute.
Winthrop, get me Gangbusters.
Hello, Gangbusters, who caught
the crook last night?
Sheriff Hawkins?
Thank you.
Winthrop, get me Sheriff Hawkins.
Sheriff Hawkins?
Congratulations.
Well, madam...
Take this down.
Go on, please.
I saw your name
in the classified...
And I'm awfully worried about...
...need your protection.
That's why I'm here.
This case is more baffling
than I thought. Tell it to me again.
I saw your name in the classified...
I know you're a very busy man,
but you must do something.
We need your protection.
That's why I'm here.
Fascinating.
Now tell it to me in detail.
I saw your name...
Oh, dear!
Oh, my!
Be careful. - It's the new type-flying machine.
They're really not perfected yet.
Yes? As you were...?
As you were saying?
You've heard of Tommy Rogers,
who recently inherited,
half the Phelps department store.
- Why, of course.
You must take this case.
Well, I'd like to help you,
but I'm just dripping with offers.
I don't even answer the phone.
You'll pardon me?
- Of course.
Ten thousand dollars, ridiculous.
One would think I was starving.
It's warm in here.
- It's funny, I don't feel it. - Well, I do.
Winthrop, have the janitor come up
and break a window.
Things are certainly getting hot.
- Oh, they certainly are.
Miss Phelps, I'm turning down all offers
to take your case. After all, you're a woman.
You are a woman, aren't you?
Tell me, what would you want
to handle this case for me? - $ 20.000.
Don't you think that's too much? - Of course.
Only a cheap chiseler would ask that much.
I was prepared to pay $ 500.
- Oddly enough, I'm prepared to take it.
Shall we bind the deal
with a kiss or $ 5 in cash?
You lose either way.
- There you are.
That's fine.
Now, let's get to the bottom of...
Let's get to the bottom of this, eh?
Now, tell me everything.
As you were saying?
- Look, what's this?
Camouflage. A precaution
I must take for my life.
Every gangster in town
would like to do away with me,
but we'll outwit them. We'll leave
under cover of my private smoke screen.
There goes my breakfast.
One more important thing,
Mr. Flywheel.
Nobody at the store, not even Tommy,
must know that you're a detective.
You're safe. I've kept it
a secret for years.
This is a gift from a grateful client.
- Indeed? Well.
They hung him last year.
That's strange. I could have sworn
I shaved this morning.
My car will be here in a moment. - Nonsense.
We'll take my car. Speed is imperative.
Quaint, isn't it?
- Demonstrator's model.
I've been trying to make up my mind
for years whether to buy this car or not.
My man will be along shortly.
Oh, my.
Oh, dear.
I had that seat built below window
level. Makes me safe from bullets.
How ingenious.
Take my seat. It's more comfortable.
- Thank you.
To the Phelps department store,
and make it snappy.
That settles it. I'm not buying this car.
Fix the door and take it back.
My veil. My veil.
Oh, dear.
Foreign cars are worthless.
- Oh, what a trip.
Hey, wait a minute,
You'll have to fix that door someplace,
and get all this junk out of here!
What's going on here?
Yes, your work on these books
is okay for a sucker like Tommy,
but it won't take the Hastings brothers
long to find out they've been juggled.
Now, we've gotta work fast.
Incidentally, your sister's
getting chummy with Tommy.
Joan doesn't know about this, and she's
not going to. - Now, I hope you're right.
If this falls through
on account of you or her...
Well, it better not, that's all.
You better not let
the boss catch you around here.
That's all right.
The boss and I are like that.
Tommy, I'm awfully busy.
- I'm here strictly on business.
I just came over to check
our recording sales.
If you mean your latest recording,
we sold the last one yesterday.
How many does that make
we've sold? - Two.
A new high, huh?
Oh, pardon me.
Have you Tommy Rogers'
latest record, "If It's You"?
Sorry, we're completely sold out, but
we're expecting some in any minute.
We have the sheet music here.
Why, you're Mr. Rogers.
Yes. You see, every Friday
is celebrity day.
Oh, Mr. Rogers, I wanted
one of your records.
Madam, I'd be more than happy
to make one for you personally.
If you'd just step around the counter.
- Thank you.
With our compliments.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, that was swell.
Just think, one of the toughest
kids in our neighborhood,
turning out to be the great
Tommy Rogers.
What's great about a fella that's written
songs and leads a corny little band?
It's a matter of breaks.
- Dad always said you were going places.
Well, wherever I'm going doesn't mean
a thing unless you go with me.
You won't be going anywhere if you
keep ignoring the danger you're in.
Is Mr. Grover in his office?
- Yes, just a moment.
Miss Phelps would like to see you.
He'll be right out. - Thank you.
Don't forget.
Oh, Mr. Grover, this is Wolf J. Flywheel.
- How do you do?
That's rather a personal question, old man.
How I do and what I do is my concern.
And if you marry me,
your concern will be my concern.
I've just hired Mr. Flywheel
as a floorwalker.
Martha, we have enough floorwalkers.
- Oh, please.
Well, if you desire. What experience
have you had in a department store?
I was a shoplifter for three years.
- Mr. Flywheel likes a little joke.
Just tell Mr. Grover
what experience you've had.
Do you object if I ask a few
questions? - Not at all.
Ask her anything.
- It's you that I'm asking the questions.
I just heard you ask her if you could
ask me a few questions. I'm not blind.
We will assume
that I am a customer.
I'm returning a baby carriage.
- Are you married?
Of course not. - What are you
doing with a baby carriage?
This man's a cad, a yellow cad.
Why, the whole thing is utterly ridiculous.
Now, I'll ask you a simple question.
It's bargain day. The store is crowded.
A woman faints. What do you do?
How old is she?
What difference does it make?
- Hear that?
A woman's life is in danger, and he asks,
"What difference does it make?"
And that charlatan is running your store?
Martha, I'd fire him immediately.
If Miss Phelps were not my fiance,
I would tender my resignation
and walk out for good. - Oh, no, no.
Fiance?
- Yes!
You mean that a woman of your culture
and beauty and money and wealth,
and money would marry
that impostor?
Just a moment. What's the idea
of prowling around here?
Why, that's Tommy Rogers.
- Oh, how are you, Tommy?
No, I'm Tommy Rogers.
- Well, how are you? - How do you do?
I'm Ravelli. I'm Tommy's
bodyguard.
You're Tommy...? I'm Tommy's bodyguard.
And I've just been engaged.
You'll excuse me.
So you all been engaged, huh? - Of course.
Here's my $ 5 deposit to prove it.
Well, keep the $ 5.
I'll guard Tommy for nothing.
Scab.
- I heard that.
You're not a floorwalker.
You're a so-called bodyguard.
What does this mean?
- Why, l...
I felt Tommy needed a real, experienced
detective to safeguard him, so I...
So she hired me, the greatest
detective since Sherlock Holmes.
I'm crazy about Sherlock Holmes. - It won't
do you any good. He's got a wife and kids.
So this man is a detective?
- Yes.
Mr. Flywheel.
- Just call me Wolf.
You revealed yourself. You've spoiled everything.
And after you promised not to tell.
How could I keep from telling the world
of your beauty and my feelings about you?
She walks in beauty. Like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies.
Why, that's Byron.
He was thinking of you
when he wrote it.
Wolf, do you remember this?
Thou friend, whose presence
on my wintry heart,
Fell, like bright spring,
upon some herbless plain.
Shelley?
- Shelley.
They're not writing
that kind of stuff anymore.
Here's a little something to you.
"Your eyes so blue, your heart so true,
Your lips divine,
say you'll be mine.
Wolf, where did you ever learn
to write such beautiful poetry?
I worked five years for
"Burma-Shave".
What is this man? A detective,
a floorwalker or a poet?
All three and not bad
at making love, eh, Martha?
I can't stand this any longer,
and I won't stand it.
Just a moment, Mr. Grover.
If my aunt wants this man to be
my bodyguard, it's okay with me.
Mr. Flywheel, my life is
in your hands.
I wouldn't be happy here.
I'm not appreciated.
Not appreciated?
Why, I think you're great.
What do you...?
What do you really think of me?
Well, I think you're wonderful.
- Do you...?
Do you think I'm any good?
- Man, you're terrific.
How am I? All right?
- Want to know? You're sensational.
I could listen to this man forever.
And now, if you don't mind,
Martha and I would like to be alone.
Scram!
Hey, hey.
Come on, get that thing away
from that fireplug before I start writing.
Nobody puts anything over on me.
Thanks, buddy.
Give me that purse.
You stole it.
Then where'd you get it?
Oh, so you found it, huh?
Well, if you found it, take it
to the lost-and-found department.
Tier 76.
There's a suspicious character bringing
a purse in. He claims he found it.
Give me that. - He's all right.
He's the detective here.
Where did you find it?
Miss Phelps.
Mr. Grover's office, please.
No.
Hello?
- Pardon me.
Pardon me.
Just a moment. I just caught
the crook that stole your purse.
Drag him up.
You may have it.
Come on, my boy, there's a judge in this
precinct who just loves purse-snatchers.
Get up out of there.
Why'd you run away from me?
Now I know you're a thief.
You didn't think I was a real detective?
- If you are, I'm a monkey's uncle.
Keep your family out of this.
- Please.
This is between we two men
and this little slip of a girl.
You were right. Mr. Flywheel is a wizard.
He caught the man who stole my purse.
Martha, I told you that man was
sensational. Oh, he's wonderful.
Same tailor. How much
do you owe him?
Snatching purses around here?
We don't stand for that.
Here's the purse.
There's a mistake.
I'll take it to the Supreme Court.
Why, that man's your driver.
- He's no driver, that's my brother.
Wacky.
You still like it, huh?
A detective, eh?
Hey, Tommy, you remember
my brother Wacky.
Why, of course. Hi, Wacky.
I haven't seen you in years.
That man's no thief.
Just look at his face.
Frightening, isn't it?
Why, this place
is becoming a madhouse.
Right. This was a trick on my part to show
you the kind of man you employ as manager.
Your aunt left her purse in my car.
This lovable little waif
unselfishly returns it,
and is accused of being a thief.
You better let Flywheel handle
this case. He's a smart man.
I think so too. We won't need any
store detectives with him around.
Very well, Mr. Flywheel,
you have carte blanche.
Okay, I'll take her.
You make me think of my youth.
- Really? He must be a big boy by now.
Come on, men.
Grover, pay off this flatfoot as of today.
Give him what's coming to him.
Don't you think there's something charming
about Mr. Flywheel? - Yes, there certainly is.
You take care of the first floor.
You, the second floor.
I'll take care of Martha.
- You'll take care of nothing.
I'm fed up with you. How do you expect
me to run a store with you maniacs,
destroying priceless antiques, insulting
customers, disturbing the general routine?
No wonder business is bad.
- Mr. Grover, you are just a quack to me.
This jacket svelte is made of felt
But it feels more like a mat
If the felt should itch. You could make
a switch, and wear it for a hat
This is an American Navy girl. Every night,
two sailors wait to convoy her home.
This step-in gay is recherch
And fits both slim and stout
To smart affairs, my lady wears
The step-in to step out
This is known as a California dress.
On a clear night, you can see Catalina.
This daring gown has stormed the town.
lts lam will not crack
As a special offer, Phelps will proffer
A free belt in the back
This is a bright-red dress,
but Technicolor is so expensive.
This Eton coat right off the boat
Of quality unbeaten
Is the only cloth the cultured moth
Has never, ever eaten.
Peggy, the Hastings brothers
are taking the store over tomorrow.
That means I've gotta work fast.
I've gotta meet Tommy and get him
up to the roadhouse by tonight.
Just get him there. The boys
will see that he won't come back.
Your worries are over.
Lead me to him.
He's at the music counter, expecting you.
I told him you're an important music critic.
Peggy...
Six months from now, we'll own this store
together and be rolling in money.
What about Martha?
After she and I are married, who knows?
Maybe there'll be an accident.
Stop worrying.
After lunch, we'll take a trip
to the conservatory.
I'm anxious to show
the professor the plans.
I can't go until Kitty gets back
from her lunch.
I'll get someone to take your place.
- Go ahead. I watch the counter.
You go ahead. I'll watch Ravelli.
- Who's gonna watch you?
Boys, you take over
till Kitty gets back.
What about your interview
with that female critic?
I don't want any publicity
about the conservatory.
The only interview I want is with you.
Looks like a counter attack.
Hey, look!
It's only a woman.
You pay $ 2.40 to place.
Wolf J. Flywheel, at your service.
I represent the magazine "Musical Life".
- Working your way through college.
I'm sorry, but I've already
subscribed to:
Click, Pick, Hick, Tick, Gaff,
Staff, Laugh and Chaff.
Pardon me.
Young lady, do you expect
Mr. Rogers soon?
I'm here to interview him, and I don't care
to be annoyed by these silly creatures.
Flattery will get you nowhere.
Mr. Rogers is probably
in his office.
No. He went to lunch with Joan,
the girl who works at this counter.
Anyhow, Tommy says he didn't
wanna meet you. - Oh, not really.
You mean he took one
of the help to lunch?
Sure. Why not?
I didn't know it was being
done anywhere.
I'll be at the millinery counter.
Call me when Mr. Rogers returns.
Out of my way, stupid.
Good afternoon.
Just a moment, please.
Here it is, madam.
I want you to get me a piece of cloth
to cover this hat and match this dress.
But that will take at least a week.
- I want it now.
I'm sorry, madam, but you must realize
the material in that dress is very unusual.
We'll have to send out for it.
- Get it at once, or I'll speak to Mr. Grover.
Well, I'll call the buyer.
And hurry it up.
I can't wait here all day.
Mr. Williams, please.
I'm sure we have nothing
like it in stock.
Hurry up, please.
- Yes, yes, I will. Hello?
So you did have it.
Saving it for another customer.
I've changed my mind. I don't
want the thing at all. It's awful.
Joan.
Oh, Fred. Something's
happened to Tommy.
I phoned his hotel three times.
There was no answer.
We were here till 5 a.m.
going over the books.
Then he and his bodyguard went
to the bed department to sleep.
I hope he won't be late.
He has an important meeting at 10.
He won't be. He's in his office now.
- Thanks, Fred.
You've gotta get those bodyguards out of
the bed department and out of the store!
I've got to get those bodyguards
out of the bed department.
That's no problem.
- What do you mean?
If I don't, Grover will throw me out.
And if I do get them out,
Rogers will fire me.
I don't know what to do.
- I'd follow Grover's instructions.
But how will I get them
out of the store?
Why not start a sale in the bed
department and drive them out?
That's a great idea!
They're selling the store in an hour
and starting a sale. I don't get it.
Just wait till you see this bed, Henry.
I saw it yesterday, and I'm crazy about it.
I fell in love with it. Turn around.
Now, wait a minute.
Pardon me.
Mister. Mister!
What's the price of this bed?
- $ 8.000.
Preposterous. I can get the same bed
anywhere in town for $25.
Not with me in it.
Sir, how dare you talk
that way to my wife?
How dare I talk that way
to your wife?
Have you ever met me before?
- No!
Then why do you allow your wife
to go around waking up strange men?
Come, Henry, before you
lose your temper.
I'll bet he does the cooking.
Look at the funny man!
What other hobbies have you got?
We like to see something
that is different in a bed.
You would? Just press that button
over by the davenport.
Where is the davenport?
It's in lowa. Too bad you missed,
that was a $ 9 question.
Hey.
Keep quiet.
Keep quiet.
What you want?
Well, me and my family,
we live in a three-room apartment,
and all I can see is
beds, beds, beds.
And believe me,
I got no room for nothing else.
That's why I'm looking for
something that no look like a bed.
Well, you gonna worry no more.
I got just the thing you want.
Don't get fresh.
No make fun of how I talk.
I no make fun.
I'm the same national like you.
Is you was born in Naples?
- Sure. Is you was?
Sure.
- I was too.
Hey! I remember you.
Guiseppi, the best
grape presser in all Italy.
Hey, Wacky.
Look who's here.
Guiseppi!
Excuse me, please.
Do I know you?
You no remember me?
I used to press
the grapes with you.
Ravelli!
- Guiseppi!
Hey!
Press the grapes.
No press my wife.
Don't get mad.
You remember my brother Wacky.
Cumpa!
Excuse me, mister.
I wanna see some beds.
Come on. Right here.
Come on.
See? That's a wonderful bed.
That's a bed?
- Sure. I show you.
What's the matter that fella?
- I don't know.
Look, Guiseppi!
It's a bookcase by day,
is a bed by night.
I don't like this bed.
All right, all right.
You no like this bed, I show you
another one. Come on.
Where you take me?
- I don't know.
I don't know myself.
Here we go!
Guiseppi, watch out!
- It's all right.
It's okay, it's a bed.
Hey, you see? That's a safe
place to keep the kids.
Guiseppi!
- What's the matter?
Brenda, Garibaldi, Dion! Guiseppi!
Hey! No get excited. - Excited?
Hey, mister, where are my kids?
What kids?
- My kids.
Lucretia!
- Brenda!
Hey, what's the difficulty here?
Look, I no get excited like my wife,
but I come in here with 12 kids,
and now there are only six.
What happened my six kids?
- What are their draft numbers?
Look, there's only six kids,
and I know I got 12 kids.
Twelve kids, eh?
How much do you make a week?
Twenty-five dollars.
- You can't afford to have 12 kids.
No tell me what I can afford!
The only thing I know is, I got 12 kids,
and now there are only six.
My good man, statistics prove it costs
$5 a week to provide for a child.
Twelve times five is $ 60.
You only make $ 25 a week.
It's economically impossible
for you to have 12 children!
That's right. That's right.
We got 12 kids!
Quiet!
Please, quiet!
Look, mister, I come in here
with six kids...
No six, 1 2 kids. - Twelve and six?
That's 18. How many have you got?
Where is my 18 kids?
Mister, if you don't get
my kids, I call the police.
Please don't let your wife
call the police.
Remember the grapes.
Remember the grapes.
- The grapes!
Remember the "Maine" too, while
you remember. - You look like the boss.
Wait a minute. Quiet!
Now, let's get this straight.
You say you came in with 12 grapes,
and now you've only got six.
No grapes. Six kids!
- You just said you had 12 kids.
She says you've got 18.
How many have you got?
How many grapes
have your kids got?
I no want no grapes! - You got no grapes?
I get you some. - Get him a bunch of grapes.
My kids! - You should've gone to the
fruit department. This is furniture.
We don't have any grapes here.
My kids, please!
- Stop! Stop!
Where have you been?
Your father's been looking for you.
There you are. You came in with 12 kids,
you're going out with 12 kids.
Who took my children
over here like that?
You gotta get me 12 kids!
- How'd I get mixed up in your family life?
Hey!
Where you been? Your father's
been looking all over for you.
Hey! Guiseppi!
Here's your kids!
Yes, now, go on home. I wanna go back
to sleep. - These are not my kids!
Guiseppi...
I cannot believe... .
- Water!
It's got a ladder to the top.
- They sleep on it.
Water!
Hey, here's your kids.
These are not my kids!
Tom, Steven, Harry, John.
Push the button!
Joan?
Did you find Tommy all right?
- Yes. I just spoke to him.
You were rather worried
about him.
Why shouldn't I be?
Tommy asked me to marry him.
And?
- And I said yes.
Oh, that's it, huh?
What's the matter?
Don't you like him?
Oh, sure, sure. I think he's a grand guy,
and I'm very happy for you, sis.
I feel much better now.
- That's good.
Another hour, it'll be all over.
Morning, Mr. Grover.
- Good morning.
Never mind. Here they are.
Gentlemen.
Just a minute. Going down?
They're in the music department.
Let's get it over with.
- Wait a minute.
Now, remember...
he's got to be rubbed out
in the next hour.
It's as good as done.
- In the bag.
There's the music counter.
- I wish I knew what Rogers looked like.
What's the difference?
We'll find him.
Flywheel, wake up.
- Go away. Find your own kids.
Tommy's in danger.
A couple thugs wanna kill him.
They can't kill him,
I haven't been paid yet.
Come on, get up and find Tommy
while I get the police.
Get up! The killers are in the store!
- Why doesn't somebody wait on them?
They're about your height,
wearing gray topcoats.
Gray topcoats. Yeah, yeah.
Gray top... Gray topcoats. - Yeah.
And be very careful. They're dangerous.
- I got that. Yeah.
Ravelli! Ravelli, wake up.
- Go away. I got insomnia.
Wake up. There's no time to lose. Two
killers in gray topcoats are after Tommy.
Hey, Wacky!
Wake up.
We gotta find the killers.
Come on.
Turn out the lights.
Hey, Wacky, I don't see
no gray coats.
Wait! I got an idea.
I play the piano. We get enough people
around, and we catch them. Come on.
Remember, I used to give
you lessons too?
Go on. Let me hear you
play something.
Wacky, there's no gray coats here.
Come on.
The killers are on the second floor.
Go the back way so they don't see us.
I'll go ahead and point
them out to you.
Where did he go?
Just think, Arthur, within an hour,
this store will be ours.
At our own price. - We're not buying
the store. We're stealing it.
Just remember, it's the Hastings'
reputation that makes it possible.
I always have a hard time realizing
how important we are. - Yes.
Pardon me, gentlemen.
Are those gray coats gray,
or am I colorblind?
No, you're not colorblind.
They're gray, all right.
Oh, fine. Then I'd like to show you
a cute little trick. Put out your hands.
Handcuffs.
Demonstrating something?
- It's a new department.
That's only half the trick.
Now step forward.
Now put out the other hands.
Now, don't go away.
Keep an eye on these boys.
Get me Grover's office.
What? You've captured
the killers?
Isn't Mr. Flywheel wonderful?
Single-handed, he's caught the criminals.
How right I was in bringing
him into the store.
We'll be right down, Wolf.
My hero!
Where is he?
- On the first floor.
You better come along.
Take these off at once and cut out
this infernal nonsense!
There you are.
I give you the killers.
Why, it's the Hastings brothers,
the men who are going to buy the store.
Gentlemen, I'm terribly sorry,
but it's really not my fault.
You certainly do look
like crooks.
Well, we'll forget about it this time.
Mistakes can happen.
Give me those keys so I can
unlock these handcuffs.
Hurry up.
What's the matter with you?
I'm sorry, gentlemen.
Up!
The gray coats! Keep them up.
Start walking.
Well, look who's here!
- Austin Benny and the Snapper.
Been looking for these guys
for a long time.
Be careful. We don't wanna
be sued for false arrest.
Sued? Why, you're
entitled to a reward.
Come on, you thugs.
- Come on, you guys, get moving.
Get along.
We're ready to close
the deal, Mr. Rogers.
I have a certified check in my pocket.
If you take us to your office, we'll sign it.
Gentlemen, I have an idea.
This being Saturday,
the store closes at 1:00.
Why not postpone
the signing until then?
The employees can meet the new owners.
We can make it a regular ceremony.
That's a splendid idea.
We can invite the press, get a lot of
free publicity. - Sounds good to me.
We can have a party,
just like in Hollywood.
That's fine. Let there be wine.
- And women.
And song.
- And women.
And caviar.
- And women.
And more women.
Hey, Wacky. I got a good idea.
Why don't you and me
go play for the party.
Look how you're dressed.
You look terrible.
There's a bunch of high-class people there.
You're dressed like a scared scarecrow.
That's too bad. They wouldn't let you in
dressed that way. Goodbye, Wacky.
Hey, Wacky?
Hey, Wacky, come on.
Everything's fixed. You're gonna
play at the party. Come on.
Hey, Wacky.
Why...!
Gentlemen, are you well taken care of?
- Yes, thank you.
If we shoot the signing now,
we can make the first editions.
I'll have Mr. Rogers and
the Hastings brothers ready for you.
Never mind the Hastings. We want
a picture of Rogers signing. That's news.
Yes, I'm sure it will be.
Well, be patient.
It'll only be a few minutes.
Now, there's one thing more.
Did you get Sutton out of the store yet?
I'm waiting till dark.
When Rogers is rubbed out,
there'll be cops. Get him out fast.
I'll take care of it right now.
Hop in here. There's a few things
I'd like to discuss with you.
What I'm about to say is intended
for your ears alone.
Oh, Wolf.
Martha, dear, there are many bonds
that will hold us together through eternity.
Really, Wolf?
What are they?
Your government bonds, your
savings bonds, your liberty bonds.
Maybe in a year, after we're married... .
- Yes?
Who knows? There may be
a little baby bond.
Oh, it all seems so wonderful!
Tell me, Wolfie dear,
will we have a beautiful home?
Of course. You're not planning
on moving, are you?
No, but I'm afraid after
we're married a while...
a beautiful young girl
will come along...
and you'll forget all about me.
- Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
Are we all ready?
- Yes.
Fellow employees...
all of you know that Tommy Rogers'
musical education...
was made possible by the sympathetic
understanding of the late Hiram Phelps.
If it weren't for that,
he might never have composed
the music you're about to hear now.
Friends, I hope you'll enjoy
Tommy Rogers' "Tenement Symphony".
Sorry to have kept you
waiting, boys.
Don't shoot till you see
the whites of my eyes.
This will call for a headline change.
Shove the war news to the second page.
Tonight, the front page is mine.
I see. Snobs.
- Don't worry. I take your picture.
Drop that before I drop you!
- I drop it.
Why, you!
What paper do you represent?
- "The News"
Take out a subscription to
"The News" and cancel it.
And sign the cancellation
"Disgusted Reader".
Would you mind if I borrowed
your camera?
Thank you, sir. You made
a powerful friend. We'll get a picture.
We'll ignore the dailies and send it
to the American Museum of Art.
What is it, Duke?
Sutton got away. When I spotted him,
he was talking to his sister Joan.
Why didn't you get him?
- He ducked into a crowd and disappeared.
We've got to get Joan.
She'll talk. Come on.
Hey, look at me and laugh.
- I've been doing that for 20 years.
I must speak to you at once.
- What a lucky girl.
Just in time to get in
the picture with me.
Pose pretty, now.
- Get ready.
Look nice, now.
Turn on the lights!
- What's the meaning of this?
Don't worry, Joan,
I'll protect you.
I can't understand why Tommy
wants to marry you.
Where did that scream come from?
- Stand back, everybody. Touch nothing.
Luckily, Wolf was at the crime scene.
- Where's Joan?
Hey, Tommy, I got the picture.
- Oh, gentlemen, the case is solved.
He'll develop this picture
and bring to light what took place.
I'll look for Joan while you
develop the picture.
You know how to develop it?
- He can use potassium or silver nitrate.
Use the nitrate, it's cheaper.
Are you all right, Tommy?
- Yeah.
This looks like Grover, is built like
Grover and is dressed like Grover.
Who do you think it is?
- Grover Cleveland.
Why don't you assist Basil
Rathbone and let me alone.
Hurry with the picture. I'm going to the
police. This means 99 years for Grover.
Maybe even life.
Give me that negative.
- Quiet.
Give me that negative.
Give me that picture.
- Can't we talk this over sociably?
Give me the picture.
- They're a dollar a dozen.
Give me that picture. - I guess
we better give him the picture.
Come on!
Hey, come on!
I think he's unconscious.
- What's the difference? We've still got the picture.
All right, up with your hands.
I got him! I got him!
Here!
Thought we wouldn't
get you, huh?
Now give me that picture.
Adis, senor!
- Arrivederci!
There's a couple crazy killers
loose in the store. - What?
Yes, Rogers' bodyguard.
Turn out the lights, lock
the doors and shoot on sight.
We can't go this way. The cops.
- Let's go this way, it's quicker.
Hey, we got to skate faster
than they can shoot.
There's an exit at the end
of the aisle. Skate like mad!
Come on!
- Come on!
You go down that way.
I'll go down this!
Look! Wacky!
Don't move!
Get Mr. Grover.
We've got to get this picture
to Tommy immediately!
There he is!
Hey, Wacky! Flywheel!
Help! Help!
Hey, Flywheel!
Hey, Wacky! Flywheel!
Hey! Don't let him get that!
- What do you think you're doing?
Stick them up, or I'll shoot.
- He'll shoot.
Wacky.
Come on, Wacky.
Flywheel, in here!
Hurry, Wacky!
Come on! Come on!
Turn that over here.
- Get that over there.
Hey, Wacky, come here.
Quick! Quick!
Up against the door, now.
Give me that picture!
All right! All right!
- Don't shoot!
Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
We give up! - All right. Come on.
Well, that takes care of him.
- Let's get out of here.
Get the police, quick!
Here I am.
- That's what I call quick.
Certainly give you service from
this door. - Get them up.
Hey, Tommy, we got
Grover in there!
Good. I've got some unfinished
business to take care of.
Come on out, Grover!
You've got nothing on me.
- Wasn't there anything on that negative?
Yes. It wasn't a good picture of me.
- No, nor of me.
Go upstairs and peddle
your store.
Not before we get a shot of you first.
- No, no, please!
Don't take a picture of me yet.
- Go on, take his picture.
No! There's a gun concealed
in one of those cameras.
So that's why you wanted them
to take my picture alone. Why, you...
I told you in the first reel
he was a crook.
Come upstairs before the
Hastings brothers change their minds.
Perhaps they'll buy me out too. Tommy,
whatever you want to do is all right.
Thank you, Aunt Martha.
- O Martha, Martha, how I love you.
Hey, Flywheel.
I've been looking for you.
I'm from the finance company.
You haven't made a car payment
for 12 years.
You can't fool me this time.
I know who you are.
You're one of Mr. Flywheel's
assistants.
Don't you just love working
for a man like Mr. Flywheel?
Look, lady, cut out
the double talk.
He hasn't made a payment
on that car for 12 years.
I'll see that you get a check
in the morning, old man.
Miss Phelps' residence.
Someday, you all gonna be big musicians
just like me, but you gotta practice.
Not on this piano.
Hey, you can't take this piano. She belongs
to the professor. He's upstairs, sick.
Go on, play something soft.
You're breaking my heart.
Come on, Joe.
- Hey, wait. Please, please.
My friend Tommy Rogers, he's gonna
be here right away. He'll fix everything.
Who's Tommy Rogers?
- You don't know Rogers, the singer?
Never heard of him.
- You never heard of him?
Let me show you who's Tommy Rogers.
That's his picture. Look at what he say.
"The late Hiram Phelps wills half
interest in his department store...
to his protg, Tommy Rogers. "
You mean a guy like that
would come to a joint like this?
What do you mean, "joint"?
Tommy get his start right here.
Hi, Ravelli.
- Hey, Tommy.
Where's the professor?
I brought that money for him.
You see? - Hey, what's
going on around here?
I had orders to take this piano.
We thought the place was closing up.
Closing up? Why, I'm gonna tear this
place down and build a real conservatory.
Now, what did I tell you? Conservatory.
- Excuse me, Mr. Rogers. Come on, Joe.
You hear that, kids?
A new conservatory.
A new conservatory!
Hooray for Tommy!
I'll build a conservatory we'll be proud of,
stained-glass windows, a real auditorium...
and we'll have soundproof
practice rooms.
That's fine. When do we start?
As soon as I sell my share
of the Phelps store.
You gonna sell the store?
- Sure.
What do I know about department stores?
I'm a musician. That's my business.
I want kids like these to have
the same opportunity that I've had.
Hey, let's go upstairs and
tell the professor. - Sure.
Come on.
See you later.
- So long.
Now, you kids practice
till I come back.
But remember,
no woogie-boogie.
Get working on those books,
Sutton, or we'll be in trouble.
You think Rogers will
sell, Mr. Grover?
He'll try. And if any real businessman
gets a look at our figures, we're sunk.
Get going on those books.
We haven't much time.
Yes, sir. I'll do my best.
Can you trust that guy? His sister works
in the music department and runs with Rogers.
She won't run with him long.
- Why?
If Tommy Rogers disappears,
his share of the store reverts to
Martha Phelps, the old man's sister.
So what?
Well, there'll be a society wedding.
Martha will make a stunning bride and
I rather fancy myself as a bridegroom.
And complete owner of
the Phelps store? - Naturally.
Now, can you arrange
the necessary disappearance?
I didn't bring Butch along for company.
- Yeah, I know what to do.
And make it look
like one of those accidents.
Sure, boss. You know me.
- Now, don't bungle it. Get going.
Will you keep a secret?
- Sure, even from me.
I think I found buyers for the store.
- Who and for how much?
The price hasn't been settled but it's
the Hastings brothers, the big store owners.
The deal looks pretty set. Tell
the professor to start looking at plans.
I better not leave you. From now on,
you and me is gonna be insufferable.
Hey, turn on the lights.
Turn on the lights.
Second floor.
Oh, help.
- What happened?
Tommy, what happened?
I don't know. Something happened.
I didn't see nothing wrong. The lights
went off and went right on again.
Tommy!
Tommy!
Are you all right, Tommy?
I mean, Mr. Rogers.
Excuse me, just a minute, please.
Why, Mr. Rogers, what's the trouble?
Just a little bump.
Somebody's elbow, I guess.
First the lights go out, then Tommy.
- Let me help.
No, I'm all right. - You'd better
see your aunt right away.
I want to see you a little later, Joan.
- Yes, sir.
Now come along with me.
Going down.
Nobody tell me that was an accident.
- It's the work of a disgruntled employee.
I'm calling the police.
Call the police department.
Wait a minute. Aren't you
taking this a little too seriously?
No, if anything should happen to you,
I'd be the first one blamed.
Aunt Martha, you read
too many detective stories.
Tommy's right. You're
making too much of this.
What's the matter, Ravelli?
- I see a very suspicious-looking man.
Tommy, who is this person?
- I'm Ravelli. I'm Tommy's best friend.
Your best friends are the police.
I'll call them.
Don't you think that calling the police
might result in a lot of...
well, undesirable publicity?
Remember the name of Phelps.
You're so right again.
You're always so right.
Mr. Grover.
- I'll take it in my office.
May I have the phone book?
- Yes.
Thank you.
Exercise number four.
Come on, now. One, two.
Now stretch.
One, two. Now stretch.
And now, friends, stand on your head
with your back against the wall.
Wacky.
Take this paper out and sell it.
Never mind.
What about my egg?
Wacky, quick, a customer.
Winthrop, get me
the district attorney.
Hello, DA? That's ridiculous, I've been
in constant touch with Scotland Yard.
Winthrop, get me Trinidad.
Hello, Dad, I won't be
home for dinner.
I came here to...
- Just a minute.
Winthrop, get me Gangbusters.
Hello, Gangbusters, who caught
the crook last night?
Sheriff Hawkins?
Thank you.
Winthrop, get me Sheriff Hawkins.
Sheriff Hawkins?
Congratulations.
Well, madam...
Take this down.
Go on, please.
I saw your name
in the classified...
And I'm awfully worried about...
...need your protection.
That's why I'm here.
This case is more baffling
than I thought. Tell it to me again.
I saw your name in the classified...
I know you're a very busy man,
but you must do something.
We need your protection.
That's why I'm here.
Fascinating.
Now tell it to me in detail.
I saw your name...
Oh, dear!
Oh, my!
Be careful. - It's the new type-flying machine.
They're really not perfected yet.
Yes? As you were...?
As you were saying?
You've heard of Tommy Rogers,
who recently inherited,
half the Phelps department store.
- Why, of course.
You must take this case.
Well, I'd like to help you,
but I'm just dripping with offers.
I don't even answer the phone.
You'll pardon me?
- Of course.
Ten thousand dollars, ridiculous.
One would think I was starving.
It's warm in here.
- It's funny, I don't feel it. - Well, I do.
Winthrop, have the janitor come up
and break a window.
Things are certainly getting hot.
- Oh, they certainly are.
Miss Phelps, I'm turning down all offers
to take your case. After all, you're a woman.
You are a woman, aren't you?
Tell me, what would you want
to handle this case for me? - $ 20.000.
Don't you think that's too much? - Of course.
Only a cheap chiseler would ask that much.
I was prepared to pay $ 500.
- Oddly enough, I'm prepared to take it.
Shall we bind the deal
with a kiss or $ 5 in cash?
You lose either way.
- There you are.
That's fine.
Now, let's get to the bottom of...
Let's get to the bottom of this, eh?
Now, tell me everything.
As you were saying?
- Look, what's this?
Camouflage. A precaution
I must take for my life.
Every gangster in town
would like to do away with me,
but we'll outwit them. We'll leave
under cover of my private smoke screen.
There goes my breakfast.
One more important thing,
Mr. Flywheel.
Nobody at the store, not even Tommy,
must know that you're a detective.
You're safe. I've kept it
a secret for years.
This is a gift from a grateful client.
- Indeed? Well.
They hung him last year.
That's strange. I could have sworn
I shaved this morning.
My car will be here in a moment. - Nonsense.
We'll take my car. Speed is imperative.
Quaint, isn't it?
- Demonstrator's model.
I've been trying to make up my mind
for years whether to buy this car or not.
My man will be along shortly.
Oh, my.
Oh, dear.
I had that seat built below window
level. Makes me safe from bullets.
How ingenious.
Take my seat. It's more comfortable.
- Thank you.
To the Phelps department store,
and make it snappy.
That settles it. I'm not buying this car.
Fix the door and take it back.
My veil. My veil.
Oh, dear.
Foreign cars are worthless.
- Oh, what a trip.
Hey, wait a minute,
You'll have to fix that door someplace,
and get all this junk out of here!
What's going on here?
Yes, your work on these books
is okay for a sucker like Tommy,
but it won't take the Hastings brothers
long to find out they've been juggled.
Now, we've gotta work fast.
Incidentally, your sister's
getting chummy with Tommy.
Joan doesn't know about this, and she's
not going to. - Now, I hope you're right.
If this falls through
on account of you or her...
Well, it better not, that's all.
You better not let
the boss catch you around here.
That's all right.
The boss and I are like that.
Tommy, I'm awfully busy.
- I'm here strictly on business.
I just came over to check
our recording sales.
If you mean your latest recording,
we sold the last one yesterday.
How many does that make
we've sold? - Two.
A new high, huh?
Oh, pardon me.
Have you Tommy Rogers'
latest record, "If It's You"?
Sorry, we're completely sold out, but
we're expecting some in any minute.
We have the sheet music here.
Why, you're Mr. Rogers.
Yes. You see, every Friday
is celebrity day.
Oh, Mr. Rogers, I wanted
one of your records.
Madam, I'd be more than happy
to make one for you personally.
If you'd just step around the counter.
- Thank you.
With our compliments.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, that was swell.
Just think, one of the toughest
kids in our neighborhood,
turning out to be the great
Tommy Rogers.
What's great about a fella that's written
songs and leads a corny little band?
It's a matter of breaks.
- Dad always said you were going places.
Well, wherever I'm going doesn't mean
a thing unless you go with me.
You won't be going anywhere if you
keep ignoring the danger you're in.
Is Mr. Grover in his office?
- Yes, just a moment.
Miss Phelps would like to see you.
He'll be right out. - Thank you.
Don't forget.
Oh, Mr. Grover, this is Wolf J. Flywheel.
- How do you do?
That's rather a personal question, old man.
How I do and what I do is my concern.
And if you marry me,
your concern will be my concern.
I've just hired Mr. Flywheel
as a floorwalker.
Martha, we have enough floorwalkers.
- Oh, please.
Well, if you desire. What experience
have you had in a department store?
I was a shoplifter for three years.
- Mr. Flywheel likes a little joke.
Just tell Mr. Grover
what experience you've had.
Do you object if I ask a few
questions? - Not at all.
Ask her anything.
- It's you that I'm asking the questions.
I just heard you ask her if you could
ask me a few questions. I'm not blind.
We will assume
that I am a customer.
I'm returning a baby carriage.
- Are you married?
Of course not. - What are you
doing with a baby carriage?
This man's a cad, a yellow cad.
Why, the whole thing is utterly ridiculous.
Now, I'll ask you a simple question.
It's bargain day. The store is crowded.
A woman faints. What do you do?
How old is she?
What difference does it make?
- Hear that?
A woman's life is in danger, and he asks,
"What difference does it make?"
And that charlatan is running your store?
Martha, I'd fire him immediately.
If Miss Phelps were not my fiance,
I would tender my resignation
and walk out for good. - Oh, no, no.
Fiance?
- Yes!
You mean that a woman of your culture
and beauty and money and wealth,
and money would marry
that impostor?
Just a moment. What's the idea
of prowling around here?
Why, that's Tommy Rogers.
- Oh, how are you, Tommy?
No, I'm Tommy Rogers.
- Well, how are you? - How do you do?
I'm Ravelli. I'm Tommy's
bodyguard.
You're Tommy...? I'm Tommy's bodyguard.
And I've just been engaged.
You'll excuse me.
So you all been engaged, huh? - Of course.
Here's my $ 5 deposit to prove it.
Well, keep the $ 5.
I'll guard Tommy for nothing.
Scab.
- I heard that.
You're not a floorwalker.
You're a so-called bodyguard.
What does this mean?
- Why, l...
I felt Tommy needed a real, experienced
detective to safeguard him, so I...
So she hired me, the greatest
detective since Sherlock Holmes.
I'm crazy about Sherlock Holmes. - It won't
do you any good. He's got a wife and kids.
So this man is a detective?
- Yes.
Mr. Flywheel.
- Just call me Wolf.
You revealed yourself. You've spoiled everything.
And after you promised not to tell.
How could I keep from telling the world
of your beauty and my feelings about you?
She walks in beauty. Like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies.
Why, that's Byron.
He was thinking of you
when he wrote it.
Wolf, do you remember this?
Thou friend, whose presence
on my wintry heart,
Fell, like bright spring,
upon some herbless plain.
Shelley?
- Shelley.
They're not writing
that kind of stuff anymore.
Here's a little something to you.
"Your eyes so blue, your heart so true,
Your lips divine,
say you'll be mine.
Wolf, where did you ever learn
to write such beautiful poetry?
I worked five years for
"Burma-Shave".
What is this man? A detective,
a floorwalker or a poet?
All three and not bad
at making love, eh, Martha?
I can't stand this any longer,
and I won't stand it.
Just a moment, Mr. Grover.
If my aunt wants this man to be
my bodyguard, it's okay with me.
Mr. Flywheel, my life is
in your hands.
I wouldn't be happy here.
I'm not appreciated.
Not appreciated?
Why, I think you're great.
What do you...?
What do you really think of me?
Well, I think you're wonderful.
- Do you...?
Do you think I'm any good?
- Man, you're terrific.
How am I? All right?
- Want to know? You're sensational.
I could listen to this man forever.
And now, if you don't mind,
Martha and I would like to be alone.
Scram!
Hey, hey.
Come on, get that thing away
from that fireplug before I start writing.
Nobody puts anything over on me.
Thanks, buddy.
Give me that purse.
You stole it.
Then where'd you get it?
Oh, so you found it, huh?
Well, if you found it, take it
to the lost-and-found department.
Tier 76.
There's a suspicious character bringing
a purse in. He claims he found it.
Give me that. - He's all right.
He's the detective here.
Where did you find it?
Miss Phelps.
Mr. Grover's office, please.
No.
Hello?
- Pardon me.
Pardon me.
Just a moment. I just caught
the crook that stole your purse.
Drag him up.
You may have it.
Come on, my boy, there's a judge in this
precinct who just loves purse-snatchers.
Get up out of there.
Why'd you run away from me?
Now I know you're a thief.
You didn't think I was a real detective?
- If you are, I'm a monkey's uncle.
Keep your family out of this.
- Please.
This is between we two men
and this little slip of a girl.
You were right. Mr. Flywheel is a wizard.
He caught the man who stole my purse.
Martha, I told you that man was
sensational. Oh, he's wonderful.
Same tailor. How much
do you owe him?
Snatching purses around here?
We don't stand for that.
Here's the purse.
There's a mistake.
I'll take it to the Supreme Court.
Why, that man's your driver.
- He's no driver, that's my brother.
Wacky.
You still like it, huh?
A detective, eh?
Hey, Tommy, you remember
my brother Wacky.
Why, of course. Hi, Wacky.
I haven't seen you in years.
That man's no thief.
Just look at his face.
Frightening, isn't it?
Why, this place
is becoming a madhouse.
Right. This was a trick on my part to show
you the kind of man you employ as manager.
Your aunt left her purse in my car.
This lovable little waif
unselfishly returns it,
and is accused of being a thief.
You better let Flywheel handle
this case. He's a smart man.
I think so too. We won't need any
store detectives with him around.
Very well, Mr. Flywheel,
you have carte blanche.
Okay, I'll take her.
You make me think of my youth.
- Really? He must be a big boy by now.
Come on, men.
Grover, pay off this flatfoot as of today.
Give him what's coming to him.
Don't you think there's something charming
about Mr. Flywheel? - Yes, there certainly is.
You take care of the first floor.
You, the second floor.
I'll take care of Martha.
- You'll take care of nothing.
I'm fed up with you. How do you expect
me to run a store with you maniacs,
destroying priceless antiques, insulting
customers, disturbing the general routine?
No wonder business is bad.
- Mr. Grover, you are just a quack to me.
This jacket svelte is made of felt
But it feels more like a mat
If the felt should itch. You could make
a switch, and wear it for a hat
This is an American Navy girl. Every night,
two sailors wait to convoy her home.
This step-in gay is recherch
And fits both slim and stout
To smart affairs, my lady wears
The step-in to step out
This is known as a California dress.
On a clear night, you can see Catalina.
This daring gown has stormed the town.
lts lam will not crack
As a special offer, Phelps will proffer
A free belt in the back
This is a bright-red dress,
but Technicolor is so expensive.
This Eton coat right off the boat
Of quality unbeaten
Is the only cloth the cultured moth
Has never, ever eaten.
Peggy, the Hastings brothers
are taking the store over tomorrow.
That means I've gotta work fast.
I've gotta meet Tommy and get him
up to the roadhouse by tonight.
Just get him there. The boys
will see that he won't come back.
Your worries are over.
Lead me to him.
He's at the music counter, expecting you.
I told him you're an important music critic.
Peggy...
Six months from now, we'll own this store
together and be rolling in money.
What about Martha?
After she and I are married, who knows?
Maybe there'll be an accident.
Stop worrying.
After lunch, we'll take a trip
to the conservatory.
I'm anxious to show
the professor the plans.
I can't go until Kitty gets back
from her lunch.
I'll get someone to take your place.
- Go ahead. I watch the counter.
You go ahead. I'll watch Ravelli.
- Who's gonna watch you?
Boys, you take over
till Kitty gets back.
What about your interview
with that female critic?
I don't want any publicity
about the conservatory.
The only interview I want is with you.
Looks like a counter attack.
Hey, look!
It's only a woman.
You pay $ 2.40 to place.
Wolf J. Flywheel, at your service.
I represent the magazine "Musical Life".
- Working your way through college.
I'm sorry, but I've already
subscribed to:
Click, Pick, Hick, Tick, Gaff,
Staff, Laugh and Chaff.
Pardon me.
Young lady, do you expect
Mr. Rogers soon?
I'm here to interview him, and I don't care
to be annoyed by these silly creatures.
Flattery will get you nowhere.
Mr. Rogers is probably
in his office.
No. He went to lunch with Joan,
the girl who works at this counter.
Anyhow, Tommy says he didn't
wanna meet you. - Oh, not really.
You mean he took one
of the help to lunch?
Sure. Why not?
I didn't know it was being
done anywhere.
I'll be at the millinery counter.
Call me when Mr. Rogers returns.
Out of my way, stupid.
Good afternoon.
Just a moment, please.
Here it is, madam.
I want you to get me a piece of cloth
to cover this hat and match this dress.
But that will take at least a week.
- I want it now.
I'm sorry, madam, but you must realize
the material in that dress is very unusual.
We'll have to send out for it.
- Get it at once, or I'll speak to Mr. Grover.
Well, I'll call the buyer.
And hurry it up.
I can't wait here all day.
Mr. Williams, please.
I'm sure we have nothing
like it in stock.
Hurry up, please.
- Yes, yes, I will. Hello?
So you did have it.
Saving it for another customer.
I've changed my mind. I don't
want the thing at all. It's awful.
Joan.
Oh, Fred. Something's
happened to Tommy.
I phoned his hotel three times.
There was no answer.
We were here till 5 a.m.
going over the books.
Then he and his bodyguard went
to the bed department to sleep.
I hope he won't be late.
He has an important meeting at 10.
He won't be. He's in his office now.
- Thanks, Fred.
You've gotta get those bodyguards out of
the bed department and out of the store!
I've got to get those bodyguards
out of the bed department.
That's no problem.
- What do you mean?
If I don't, Grover will throw me out.
And if I do get them out,
Rogers will fire me.
I don't know what to do.
- I'd follow Grover's instructions.
But how will I get them
out of the store?
Why not start a sale in the bed
department and drive them out?
That's a great idea!
They're selling the store in an hour
and starting a sale. I don't get it.
Just wait till you see this bed, Henry.
I saw it yesterday, and I'm crazy about it.
I fell in love with it. Turn around.
Now, wait a minute.
Pardon me.
Mister. Mister!
What's the price of this bed?
- $ 8.000.
Preposterous. I can get the same bed
anywhere in town for $25.
Not with me in it.
Sir, how dare you talk
that way to my wife?
How dare I talk that way
to your wife?
Have you ever met me before?
- No!
Then why do you allow your wife
to go around waking up strange men?
Come, Henry, before you
lose your temper.
I'll bet he does the cooking.
Look at the funny man!
What other hobbies have you got?
We like to see something
that is different in a bed.
You would? Just press that button
over by the davenport.
Where is the davenport?
It's in lowa. Too bad you missed,
that was a $ 9 question.
Hey.
Keep quiet.
Keep quiet.
What you want?
Well, me and my family,
we live in a three-room apartment,
and all I can see is
beds, beds, beds.
And believe me,
I got no room for nothing else.
That's why I'm looking for
something that no look like a bed.
Well, you gonna worry no more.
I got just the thing you want.
Don't get fresh.
No make fun of how I talk.
I no make fun.
I'm the same national like you.
Is you was born in Naples?
- Sure. Is you was?
Sure.
- I was too.
Hey! I remember you.
Guiseppi, the best
grape presser in all Italy.
Hey, Wacky.
Look who's here.
Guiseppi!
Excuse me, please.
Do I know you?
You no remember me?
I used to press
the grapes with you.
Ravelli!
- Guiseppi!
Hey!
Press the grapes.
No press my wife.
Don't get mad.
You remember my brother Wacky.
Cumpa!
Excuse me, mister.
I wanna see some beds.
Come on. Right here.
Come on.
See? That's a wonderful bed.
That's a bed?
- Sure. I show you.
What's the matter that fella?
- I don't know.
Look, Guiseppi!
It's a bookcase by day,
is a bed by night.
I don't like this bed.
All right, all right.
You no like this bed, I show you
another one. Come on.
Where you take me?
- I don't know.
I don't know myself.
Here we go!
Guiseppi, watch out!
- It's all right.
It's okay, it's a bed.
Hey, you see? That's a safe
place to keep the kids.
Guiseppi!
- What's the matter?
Brenda, Garibaldi, Dion! Guiseppi!
Hey! No get excited. - Excited?
Hey, mister, where are my kids?
What kids?
- My kids.
Lucretia!
- Brenda!
Hey, what's the difficulty here?
Look, I no get excited like my wife,
but I come in here with 12 kids,
and now there are only six.
What happened my six kids?
- What are their draft numbers?
Look, there's only six kids,
and I know I got 12 kids.
Twelve kids, eh?
How much do you make a week?
Twenty-five dollars.
- You can't afford to have 12 kids.
No tell me what I can afford!
The only thing I know is, I got 12 kids,
and now there are only six.
My good man, statistics prove it costs
$5 a week to provide for a child.
Twelve times five is $ 60.
You only make $ 25 a week.
It's economically impossible
for you to have 12 children!
That's right. That's right.
We got 12 kids!
Quiet!
Please, quiet!
Look, mister, I come in here
with six kids...
No six, 1 2 kids. - Twelve and six?
That's 18. How many have you got?
Where is my 18 kids?
Mister, if you don't get
my kids, I call the police.
Please don't let your wife
call the police.
Remember the grapes.
Remember the grapes.
- The grapes!
Remember the "Maine" too, while
you remember. - You look like the boss.
Wait a minute. Quiet!
Now, let's get this straight.
You say you came in with 12 grapes,
and now you've only got six.
No grapes. Six kids!
- You just said you had 12 kids.
She says you've got 18.
How many have you got?
How many grapes
have your kids got?
I no want no grapes! - You got no grapes?
I get you some. - Get him a bunch of grapes.
My kids! - You should've gone to the
fruit department. This is furniture.
We don't have any grapes here.
My kids, please!
- Stop! Stop!
Where have you been?
Your father's been looking for you.
There you are. You came in with 12 kids,
you're going out with 12 kids.
Who took my children
over here like that?
You gotta get me 12 kids!
- How'd I get mixed up in your family life?
Hey!
Where you been? Your father's
been looking all over for you.
Hey! Guiseppi!
Here's your kids!
Yes, now, go on home. I wanna go back
to sleep. - These are not my kids!
Guiseppi...
I cannot believe... .
- Water!
It's got a ladder to the top.
- They sleep on it.
Water!
Hey, here's your kids.
These are not my kids!
Tom, Steven, Harry, John.
Push the button!
Joan?
Did you find Tommy all right?
- Yes. I just spoke to him.
You were rather worried
about him.
Why shouldn't I be?
Tommy asked me to marry him.
And?
- And I said yes.
Oh, that's it, huh?
What's the matter?
Don't you like him?
Oh, sure, sure. I think he's a grand guy,
and I'm very happy for you, sis.
I feel much better now.
- That's good.
Another hour, it'll be all over.
Morning, Mr. Grover.
- Good morning.
Never mind. Here they are.
Gentlemen.
Just a minute. Going down?
They're in the music department.
Let's get it over with.
- Wait a minute.
Now, remember...
he's got to be rubbed out
in the next hour.
It's as good as done.
- In the bag.
There's the music counter.
- I wish I knew what Rogers looked like.
What's the difference?
We'll find him.
Flywheel, wake up.
- Go away. Find your own kids.
Tommy's in danger.
A couple thugs wanna kill him.
They can't kill him,
I haven't been paid yet.
Come on, get up and find Tommy
while I get the police.
Get up! The killers are in the store!
- Why doesn't somebody wait on them?
They're about your height,
wearing gray topcoats.
Gray topcoats. Yeah, yeah.
Gray top... Gray topcoats. - Yeah.
And be very careful. They're dangerous.
- I got that. Yeah.
Ravelli! Ravelli, wake up.
- Go away. I got insomnia.
Wake up. There's no time to lose. Two
killers in gray topcoats are after Tommy.
Hey, Wacky!
Wake up.
We gotta find the killers.
Come on.
Turn out the lights.
Hey, Wacky, I don't see
no gray coats.
Wait! I got an idea.
I play the piano. We get enough people
around, and we catch them. Come on.
Remember, I used to give
you lessons too?
Go on. Let me hear you
play something.
Wacky, there's no gray coats here.
Come on.
The killers are on the second floor.
Go the back way so they don't see us.
I'll go ahead and point
them out to you.
Where did he go?
Just think, Arthur, within an hour,
this store will be ours.
At our own price. - We're not buying
the store. We're stealing it.
Just remember, it's the Hastings'
reputation that makes it possible.
I always have a hard time realizing
how important we are. - Yes.
Pardon me, gentlemen.
Are those gray coats gray,
or am I colorblind?
No, you're not colorblind.
They're gray, all right.
Oh, fine. Then I'd like to show you
a cute little trick. Put out your hands.
Handcuffs.
Demonstrating something?
- It's a new department.
That's only half the trick.
Now step forward.
Now put out the other hands.
Now, don't go away.
Keep an eye on these boys.
Get me Grover's office.
What? You've captured
the killers?
Isn't Mr. Flywheel wonderful?
Single-handed, he's caught the criminals.
How right I was in bringing
him into the store.
We'll be right down, Wolf.
My hero!
Where is he?
- On the first floor.
You better come along.
Take these off at once and cut out
this infernal nonsense!
There you are.
I give you the killers.
Why, it's the Hastings brothers,
the men who are going to buy the store.
Gentlemen, I'm terribly sorry,
but it's really not my fault.
You certainly do look
like crooks.
Well, we'll forget about it this time.
Mistakes can happen.
Give me those keys so I can
unlock these handcuffs.
Hurry up.
What's the matter with you?
I'm sorry, gentlemen.
Up!
The gray coats! Keep them up.
Start walking.
Well, look who's here!
- Austin Benny and the Snapper.
Been looking for these guys
for a long time.
Be careful. We don't wanna
be sued for false arrest.
Sued? Why, you're
entitled to a reward.
Come on, you thugs.
- Come on, you guys, get moving.
Get along.
We're ready to close
the deal, Mr. Rogers.
I have a certified check in my pocket.
If you take us to your office, we'll sign it.
Gentlemen, I have an idea.
This being Saturday,
the store closes at 1:00.
Why not postpone
the signing until then?
The employees can meet the new owners.
We can make it a regular ceremony.
That's a splendid idea.
We can invite the press, get a lot of
free publicity. - Sounds good to me.
We can have a party,
just like in Hollywood.
That's fine. Let there be wine.
- And women.
And song.
- And women.
And caviar.
- And women.
And more women.
Hey, Wacky. I got a good idea.
Why don't you and me
go play for the party.
Look how you're dressed.
You look terrible.
There's a bunch of high-class people there.
You're dressed like a scared scarecrow.
That's too bad. They wouldn't let you in
dressed that way. Goodbye, Wacky.
Hey, Wacky?
Hey, Wacky, come on.
Everything's fixed. You're gonna
play at the party. Come on.
Hey, Wacky.
Why...!
Gentlemen, are you well taken care of?
- Yes, thank you.
If we shoot the signing now,
we can make the first editions.
I'll have Mr. Rogers and
the Hastings brothers ready for you.
Never mind the Hastings. We want
a picture of Rogers signing. That's news.
Yes, I'm sure it will be.
Well, be patient.
It'll only be a few minutes.
Now, there's one thing more.
Did you get Sutton out of the store yet?
I'm waiting till dark.
When Rogers is rubbed out,
there'll be cops. Get him out fast.
I'll take care of it right now.
Hop in here. There's a few things
I'd like to discuss with you.
What I'm about to say is intended
for your ears alone.
Oh, Wolf.
Martha, dear, there are many bonds
that will hold us together through eternity.
Really, Wolf?
What are they?
Your government bonds, your
savings bonds, your liberty bonds.
Maybe in a year, after we're married... .
- Yes?
Who knows? There may be
a little baby bond.
Oh, it all seems so wonderful!
Tell me, Wolfie dear,
will we have a beautiful home?
Of course. You're not planning
on moving, are you?
No, but I'm afraid after
we're married a while...
a beautiful young girl
will come along...
and you'll forget all about me.
- Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
Are we all ready?
- Yes.
Fellow employees...
all of you know that Tommy Rogers'
musical education...
was made possible by the sympathetic
understanding of the late Hiram Phelps.
If it weren't for that,
he might never have composed
the music you're about to hear now.
Friends, I hope you'll enjoy
Tommy Rogers' "Tenement Symphony".
Sorry to have kept you
waiting, boys.
Don't shoot till you see
the whites of my eyes.
This will call for a headline change.
Shove the war news to the second page.
Tonight, the front page is mine.
I see. Snobs.
- Don't worry. I take your picture.
Drop that before I drop you!
- I drop it.
Why, you!
What paper do you represent?
- "The News"
Take out a subscription to
"The News" and cancel it.
And sign the cancellation
"Disgusted Reader".
Would you mind if I borrowed
your camera?
Thank you, sir. You made
a powerful friend. We'll get a picture.
We'll ignore the dailies and send it
to the American Museum of Art.
What is it, Duke?
Sutton got away. When I spotted him,
he was talking to his sister Joan.
Why didn't you get him?
- He ducked into a crowd and disappeared.
We've got to get Joan.
She'll talk. Come on.
Hey, look at me and laugh.
- I've been doing that for 20 years.
I must speak to you at once.
- What a lucky girl.
Just in time to get in
the picture with me.
Pose pretty, now.
- Get ready.
Look nice, now.
Turn on the lights!
- What's the meaning of this?
Don't worry, Joan,
I'll protect you.
I can't understand why Tommy
wants to marry you.
Where did that scream come from?
- Stand back, everybody. Touch nothing.
Luckily, Wolf was at the crime scene.
- Where's Joan?
Hey, Tommy, I got the picture.
- Oh, gentlemen, the case is solved.
He'll develop this picture
and bring to light what took place.
I'll look for Joan while you
develop the picture.
You know how to develop it?
- He can use potassium or silver nitrate.
Use the nitrate, it's cheaper.
Are you all right, Tommy?
- Yeah.
This looks like Grover, is built like
Grover and is dressed like Grover.
Who do you think it is?
- Grover Cleveland.
Why don't you assist Basil
Rathbone and let me alone.
Hurry with the picture. I'm going to the
police. This means 99 years for Grover.
Maybe even life.
Give me that negative.
- Quiet.
Give me that negative.
Give me that picture.
- Can't we talk this over sociably?
Give me the picture.
- They're a dollar a dozen.
Give me that picture. - I guess
we better give him the picture.
Come on!
Hey, come on!
I think he's unconscious.
- What's the difference? We've still got the picture.
All right, up with your hands.
I got him! I got him!
Here!
Thought we wouldn't
get you, huh?
Now give me that picture.
Adis, senor!
- Arrivederci!
There's a couple crazy killers
loose in the store. - What?
Yes, Rogers' bodyguard.
Turn out the lights, lock
the doors and shoot on sight.
We can't go this way. The cops.
- Let's go this way, it's quicker.
Hey, we got to skate faster
than they can shoot.
There's an exit at the end
of the aisle. Skate like mad!
Come on!
- Come on!
You go down that way.
I'll go down this!
Look! Wacky!
Don't move!
Get Mr. Grover.
We've got to get this picture
to Tommy immediately!
There he is!
Hey, Wacky! Flywheel!
Help! Help!
Hey, Flywheel!
Hey, Wacky! Flywheel!
Hey! Don't let him get that!
- What do you think you're doing?
Stick them up, or I'll shoot.
- He'll shoot.
Wacky.
Come on, Wacky.
Flywheel, in here!
Hurry, Wacky!
Come on! Come on!
Turn that over here.
- Get that over there.
Hey, Wacky, come here.
Quick! Quick!
Up against the door, now.
Give me that picture!
All right! All right!
- Don't shoot!
Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
We give up! - All right. Come on.
Well, that takes care of him.
- Let's get out of here.
Get the police, quick!
Here I am.
- That's what I call quick.
Certainly give you service from
this door. - Get them up.
Hey, Tommy, we got
Grover in there!
Good. I've got some unfinished
business to take care of.
Come on out, Grover!
You've got nothing on me.
- Wasn't there anything on that negative?
Yes. It wasn't a good picture of me.
- No, nor of me.
Go upstairs and peddle
your store.
Not before we get a shot of you first.
- No, no, please!
Don't take a picture of me yet.
- Go on, take his picture.
No! There's a gun concealed
in one of those cameras.
So that's why you wanted them
to take my picture alone. Why, you...
I told you in the first reel
he was a crook.
Come upstairs before the
Hastings brothers change their minds.
Perhaps they'll buy me out too. Tommy,
whatever you want to do is all right.
Thank you, Aunt Martha.
- O Martha, Martha, how I love you.
Hey, Flywheel.
I've been looking for you.
I'm from the finance company.
You haven't made a car payment
for 12 years.
You can't fool me this time.
I know who you are.
You're one of Mr. Flywheel's
assistants.
Don't you just love working
for a man like Mr. Flywheel?
Look, lady, cut out
the double talk.
He hasn't made a payment
on that car for 12 years.
I'll see that you get a check
in the morning, old man.
Miss Phelps' residence.