Big Trouble (1986) Movie Script

People, no humming with
your mouths full.
Boys. Eat the protein
and get the hell out.
Come on. Joshua, Peter, Michael,
move it! Now! Come on.
Come on! Hey! Get the hell
to school, you're very late.
- Sandwiches. Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Kiss for Mommy. Goodbye. Love you.
- I love you, Mom.
- Goodbye, Pop.
- Bye.
Mother? Bye.
Sorry about the mess in there.
- I'm gonna be late. Have a good day.
- Tell Peter to drive carefully.
- Is Peter driving?
- Yes.
- Peter, drive carefully!
- Talk to you later.
Bye, Dad, see you later.
Honey, can you get that?
Get that, honey!
Hello? Doris, don't start.
I can't talk.
Yeah, a lot of dishes.
I'll talk to you later. Okay. Bye-bye.
I go to bed at 10:00.
I'm up at midnight.
I'm out here, figuring, looking,
hoping, searching, nothing.
I go to bed at 1:00, sleep for an
hour and a half and come back.
I'm here till 4:30 in the morning,
looking, hoping, praying, searching.
Nothing. I shave at 5:00 in the
morning. I'm ready for work at 6.
I come back here. Then I'm late
for work for two weeks.
- Please, don't give me any pressure.
- Well, we have to do it.
- We can't do it.
- Leonard, honey...
Today is Tuesday.
The kid's tuition has to be in when?
It has to be in on Monday.
I was up all night trying to figure it
out. Even with mortgaging the house...
...second mortgages, my mother dying
suddenly, they can't go to Yale.
What do you mean, they can't go?
The scholarship didn't come
through. What can I do?
I can't believe Yale would
accept triplets and not understand.
Yale doesn't understand. They have
to go to Yale. Yale has to understand.
Where else? If they don't
make any money as musicians... you know what that does?
How are they gonna make any
connections at UCLA or CCNY?
They won't. They'll meet
basketball players. That's it.
Yale is the only place. We
know that. We've talked about this.
The connections they'll make.
People with checkbooks.
Big people will say, "You wanna put
on a concert? What do you need?"
That's what's gonna happen.
That's why they will be going to Yale.
Okay, Seiji Ozawa, Mller,
all those people. You know who they are?
I don't know who they are,
but they're huge, Leonard.
- Let me explain.
- One of them is a conductor.
Let me explain something.
I've been through this all night.
- I know, sweetheart.
- Look at this.
Tuition: $14,000 a year. Multiply that
by three. That's $42,000 a year.
Add incidentals.
What happens if a string breaks...
...or they wanna go out to dinner
or call home? $50,000 for one year.
They want $200,000 to send three
kids to Yale for four years.
The scholarship didn't come through.
What can I do?
You don't have to say anything. I'm
saying that the kids are going to Yale.
They are, Leonard, sweetheart.
Don't forget your shirt.
The kids washing dishes,
they can't end up that way.
They're classic musicians. We're
preserving their souls, Leonard. Yale.
Think in capital letters, okay?
Lunch, honey. Lunch, have
something hot. It'll do you good.
Morning, Mr. Hoffman.
This is for you.
Thank you.
- Hi, Helen.
- Len.
- Did you watch Nova last night?
- No.
There was a show
about twins and triplets.
I was thinking of those boys of yours.
- When do they start Yale?
- Right.
Good morning. Congratulations.
Heard about the boys.
- Good.
- Whole school's talking about them.
Get out! Scram! Morning, Len.
I'd like to talk to you.
- I'm gonna appeal!
- Be my guest. Get lost. Come here.
Hey, man, you have a family,
sometimes you have to do things.
You can't treat people like they're
criminals. Man have a family.
- They think I'm an idiot.
- What's his story?
Reports his car stolen,
a '78 Bonneville. I check it out.
I find the car in a chop shop.
No forced entry. Ignition intact.
I throw the claim out.
Len, wanna congratulate you.
- Heard the boys made Yale.
- Right.
No way you can afford it.
- I don't wanna talk about it.
- Talk to Winslow.
- Winslow?
- Yeah. His whole family went to Yale.
Grandfather, all the kids.
Maybe he'd help.
- I can't talk to Winslow.
- Len, no harm trying, right?
So he puts his arm around her
and she grabbed him...
...did an airplane spin and
threw him out the window.
- Mr. Hoffman's here.
- Send him in.
- Mr. Hoffman?
- It turns out that...
- Come in, Hoffman. Come in.
- You're busy.
No, please, come in, come in.
- Hoffman.
- Good to see you, sir.
- You came to talk about Yale.
- Yeah, not for myself.
I have three boys and...
Johnson, Samson. Mr. Hoffman.
- How do you do?
- Hello. Nice to meet you.
- Come in here and we can talk.
- Fine.
- Let's walk. What do you say?
- Yes.
Every time I laugh, I get upset
for the rest of the day.
I'd like to get away
from all these people.
- Open the door, will you, please?
- Open it, Jim.
Yale, huh?
- Yes. I have three sons...
- Is this thing open or not?
Here we go. My wife wants me to pick
something up. Come on in.
Thank you.
Anyway, I have three sons
and they're all...
I have three sons.
They're brilliant, wonderful
musicians and terrific kids.
They've been accepted into Yale.
But the economic situation being
what it is...
We can't overreach ourselves,
can we?
No. That's why I'm asking you.
So many people overreach
themselves. It's a national tragedy.
My wife wants me to pick this up. What
the hell is it? You put nuts in it?
I thought perhaps you could
call the scholarship committee.
You know, I graduated in 1950.
And my son graduated in 1974.
My younger son graduates this year.
He graduates this year?
Time flies.
He'll work here.
As the vice president. Lock this.
- That's a good head start.
- He's a bright boy.
Very proud of my family, Hoffman.
Sure you are of yours.
I was wondering if you might intercede
and call the scholarship committee.
- It'd be unfair of me to do that.
- Unfair?
To use my influence. We make our own
way. I'm sure your boys understand.
It wouldn't be the same if they got
scholarships because of a phone call.
- Morning.
- Good morning.
- Congratulations! All three!
- Please, please! Any phone calls?
Yes. A Mrs. Blanche Rickey called.
She's called three times this morning.
- Blanche Rickey?
- It's about a homeowner's policy.
But she must speak
with you face to face.
Doesn't live too far from you, so
you could stop by on your way home.
- Yes?
- Hello. I'm Leonard Hoffman...
...United Marine Insurance.
- The insurance person.
The insurance person's here.
- Well, come on in.
- Thank you.
Forgive me, but I can read minds.
Not that I can really read minds,
but I think you're an honest person.
- Thank you.
- I'm honest.
- Good.
- You're very anxious about this sale.
You need money badly.
Do you feel that I'm trying
to oversell you?
I'm an honest person. Yes.
Lady, forgive my bluntness,
but selling you an insurance policy... about as far from
my mind as anything.
- Would you like a drink?
- No.
- Do you mind if I do?
- Nope.
Come on.
- Here's how much this means to me.
- It doesn't matter.
In order for me to earn the kind
of money you're talking about...
...I would have to sell about 250
of these in the next week or two.
I don't usually drink,
but my husband's gonna die.
He's a sweet guy.
It got to me because I could
never give him children.
I think I'm killing him
by not giving him children.
The doctor said he doesn't expect
him to live out the week.
Oh, my God!
Forgive my asking, but you do have
life insurance on him, don't you?
- You don't have life insurance on him?
- No.
Well, why are you fooling
around with a homeowner's policy?
Because he's worried about it,
that's why.
He's worried about his home.
He's worried about my security.
He's not himself. Now he's in with the
Chinese. I don't know what he's doing.
- He's in with the Chinese?
- Never mind.
No, tell me, tell me.
Well, he has all these debts. I don't
know how much. Maybe a million.
He gambles. He's an adventurer.
I'm not complaining.
He's a lot of fun.
I've had my share of a heyday.
Why haven't you ever gotten
a life insurance policy?
That's what I thought I was
doing with you.
This is a homeowner's policy.
That covers the house.
The liability on the house,
things like fire.
What you needed
was a life insurance policy.
I don't know. You do it.
What am I supposed to do? Fill out
a policy and forge the doctor's name?
No! Look, I wish you'd leave.
I wish you'd leave because I'm trying
to tell you something about reality...
...and you're talking about stealing.
That's what that would be.
That would be stealing,
so I wish you'd just leave.
Does he know he's gonna die?
Is he afraid?
I can't. I don't understand. I can't.
He wants me to kill him.
I wanna do it because his pain is so
great. I need to do it, but I can't.
He doesn't wanna know when it's
gonna happen. When I'm gonna do it.
I can't contend with that.
I just can't contend with that.
You wanted me to come so I'd figure
some way of writing insurance on him?
No. No, no.
- Let's just not talk about it anymore.
- Okay.
I'll think about it. I'll think.
I know that'll never happen,
but it was sweet of you to suggest.
I don't know what I can do. I'll think
about it and you think about it.
If somebody thinks of something,
then I don't know, I don't know.
That's my husband.
- His heart is surrounded by fat.
- He looks like a beautiful soul.
Okay. All right, all right, all right.
I'll get you out of the truck.
Come over here to the back of the
truck. Come on. That's right. Here.
I got something for you. Now, look.
I can't pay you now, fellows...
...because, you see, in America we
don't always pay with money.
But I got these. These are your W-2s.
Government, important.
The blue ones are individual
retirement accounts. There's plenty.
Hey, anybody interested
in a Mobil credit card?
In case you get a car, this is for the
gas. You hang on to the applications.
Be a winner. This is the Publishers
Clearing House sweepstakes.
Here's your chance
to make a quick buck.
And here, oh boy,
American Express Gold Card.
Now, fellows, are you hungry?
Hungry? Yeah? All right.
There's a McDonald's
down the way.
No McDonald's. Look, just hold on
a second, I'll speak to my wife.
I'll ask my wife if she can
rustle up something in the kitchen.
Okay? All right.
Darling, you're home early.
I'm in transit, sweetie. I gotta sell
these Chinese to the Hotel Sheridan.
This is Mr. Hoffman
from the insurance.
You're gonna help me with
my homeowner's policy?
That's right.
The Chinese, the Chinese.
Darling, the Chinese are hungry.
- Do you think Wanda could serve them?
- Of course, darling.
- Make them feel nice and comfortable.
- No problem. Of course.
- Okay.
- Wanda!
- Would you care to join us, Mr...?
- Hoffman.
- In the house to eat.
- Mr. Hoffman. It would be very nice.
They don't speak English,
but they're lovely.
No, thank you. 6:30 with
the family every night. Like a clock.
Here you go.
Okay, come on. Come on, come on.
All right, move it.
What? What is that?
No, it's all right.
It's all right. No, nothing.
Okay, all right, I'm fine.
- So you call me or I call you, okay?
- Yeah, we'll talk.
Thank you so much.
- I thought you handled it perfectly.
- He seemed like a very nice man.
Steve, you know we don't really
have anything to feed the Chinese.
Darling, everything's gonna be fine.
I'm sorry, who?
Leonard? Okay.
Hold on just a second, please.
Some woman.
- Hello?
- Have I caught you at a bad time?
Who is it?
It's Blanche. The woman who doesn't
lie, calling the man who doesn't lie.
I want you to meet me tomorrow at 10
at the Rexall drugstore in Canoga Park.
- Who was it?
- Wrong number.
We understand, Dad.
Sure. I mean,
we could always go to Polytech.
They have a pretty good
music department, don't they?
- Listen. Let's not talk about this.
- Yeah, Dad, don't let it bother you.
- We don't want you to go broke for us.
- You did the best you could.
We still love you. We know
you're not a Rockefeller.
I wanna make something very clear.
I'm not a criminal.
Do you think that I'm a criminal?
Do I look like a criminal?
Need some cards, honey?
Need cards?
Perfect. We needed these.
I want you to swear to me that
he's gonna die in six weeks.
I'll give you the number
of our doctor, Dr. Lopez.
I want you to call him.
Check me out with him.
Swear to me. Swear to me.
I asked you to meet me at the Rexall
drugstore. You said yes or something.
There's a deluxe accident policy.
It pays $2.5 million
for catastrophic accidents.
- There's something in the fine print.
- What?
There's a double-indemnity kicker.
It pays $5 million if the insured
happens to fall off a train and get killed.
Want some candy?
How about some candy?
We need a lot of stuff, but we don't
have any candy. You want candy?
No, thank you.
- We need Corn Nuts?
- No, not this week.
Okay, well, how about down here?
Mr. Sorenson, Mr. Sorenson.
Counter one.
First we have to...
First we have to...
- Kill him.
- Okay. First we have to...
Have to do that thing.
And I get on the train. I'm dressed
exactly like him, everybody sees me.
At a specific point, I jump off the
train. You're there. We drag his...
I have two copies of the policy.
The second one is the accident policy.
- That's it.
- That's it.
- Honey! Hi.
- He's here? Are you crazy?
I just asked him to come and pick
me up. Don't be so jumpy.
Darling, what a surprise. Well, not really
a surprise, I knew you were coming.
Do you remember
Mr. Hoffman from the insurance?
You won't believe this. Mr. Hoffman?
- I'm just so happy to see you.
- Yeah?
You know, I was up half the night
thinking about you. I trust you.
- Thank you.
- I trust your eyes.
You know, my health, it's...
- It ain't that good.
- I've heard. I've heard.
- I'm gonna have a heart attack.
- You have any idea when that might be?
Now. I'm having one right now.
I don't like people to see me like this.
When I'm in pain, my face contorts.
And when I'm in pain,
it's embarrassing.
- Would you do something for me?
- Yes.
Would you stand between me and
Blanche or anybody else?
- Sure.
- So they can't see me.
- Would you do that?
- Yeah.
- Would you take off my hat?
- Yes.
God. Oh, my God.
- Steve.
- Don't get near. Don't get near.
What did you say to him, Leonard?
What did you do? Steve, darling.
Steve, are you all right?
Steve. What'd you do?
- I didn't do anything. He wants help.
- What did you say?
Steve! Talk to me. Talk to me.
I'm here, I'm here.
I'm here, darling. I'm here.
I'm feeling better.
- I'm feeling much better.
- Darling.
- I'm much better.
- Yes?
- I'm gonna get some fresh air.
- Of course you are, darling.
I'm feeling better. I'm fine.
Leonard, would you take care
of these things here?
- I wanna get some fresh air.
- Of course.
Mr. Hoffman, thank you very much
for everything.
- I'd like to give...
- Honey. I don't have a lot of time.
We'll see you tomorrow?
Everything's fine. He said
he'd see us tomorrow.
Troops, people would like to get
some sleep here. Hey.
Third one. Go. Out.
Well, hello again. Come on in.
- Leonard!
- There he is.
- How wonderful.
- Leonard.
Leonard. I thought of you so often.
It's so good to see you.
What a pleasure.
Come on in. My goodness.
That face. I love that face.
Thank you. I have papers here
in case you'd like to look at them.
- Very important.
- Very important.
- I think we should go in the solarium.
- Right. The solarium.
- There's more light.
- Yeah.
The papers...
My wife tells me
you're a wonderful conversationalist.
That you're virtually
on the genius level.
- I don't know about that.
- My goodness.
- I'd love to talk philosophy with you.
- I'd like that. I'd like that very much.
- What kind of philosophy do you like?
- I like simple philosophy.
I'd love to be able to work
with Leonard together.
- Wouldn't that be wonderful?
- Wonderful.
Make a lot of money, Leonard. But
the only problem is that we do have...
Well, we lose a lot of people
on the boat because of the malaria.
So sometimes the boats come in
and they're full of dead people.
And then, of course, you got
real trouble with the customs.
And it doesn't make any difference
how good a bullshitter you are.
I'll stick to insurance.
Okay. Here's the copies of the policy.
You do have two copies, don't you,
Mr. Hoffman?
- Two copies, yes.
- Two? Why two?
One is just an office copy.
Well, why do I have to sign
an office copy?
Maybe I ought to see what I'm signing.
I might be signing my life away.
Yes, we encourage people to look
at what they're signing.
It's just a little joke, Leonard.
Okay, here's the pen here.
And here's the first copy.
Boy, you ought to do something
about that tremor.
Yes, it's too much coffee
in the morning.
- Have you ever tried Brim?
- No.
It's the same as coffee,
only without the caffeine.
I've heard that. I've heard that.
All right, here we are. Steve Rickey.
- All right?
- Okay. And here.
Steve R-l-C-K-E-Y.
Well, that's done.
Well, I guess the old homestead's
safe for another year.
- I think that calls for a drink.
- I don't drink.
No, no, no, no, no. I've got
something that you must taste.
This is a sardine liqueur.
It's from Norway.
- Have you had this, Leonard?
- No.
Fabulous. Almost impossible
to find. Honey?
- No, thank you, dear.
- No. Well, she doesn't touch the stuff.
You know, it's really a man's drink.
- Say when, Len.
- When.
You know, in Norway,
the new sardine liqueur is released...
...on November 1 each year.
There are lines around the block.
Leonard, to us, to the future,
to the house.
It's my mistake.
I have something else here.
I know you'll like this. This is a brandy.
It's Mexican, but it's smooth.
I know you'll like this.
I'm sorry. That was my mistake.
I'll try this myself.
I'm not supposed to drink this.
- I'll just try this. Try it out.
- Excuse me.
No, thank you very much.
I have an 11:30 I ought to get to.
- That's delicious. Blanche.
- I'll see you guys.
- Blanche, try this.
- Excuse me.
Blanche, try this. You know, you must.
I beg you.
I really have had plenty.
Thank you.
I'm gonna have some more.
I'll pour some in a glass for you,
- This was fine. This was plenty.
- I'll just pour. Here.
Sustaining substantial damage to
bumpers, headlights and wheel covers.
- On what?
- On what?
I heard you sold some dodo our
deluxe accident policy on Tuesday.
That's the world's worst policy.
You must have some line of bullshit.
Pays double for falling
off a choo-choo.
Doesn't pay for plane accidents.
You must've sold it to a half-wit.
A Mrs. Rex All...
...on the line.
- Who?
- Rex All? Rexall, the drugstore?
- That's what she said her name was.
- No, no. That's a lie.
- Nobody has a name like that.
- She said she knew you.
- Not Mr. Hoffman.
- Well, he's a man, ain't he?
Go on. Hurry up.
Yes, this is he.
He broke his foot, Leonard.
He's going to the Army reunion
tomorrow night on the 701.
He suggested you drive him.
Well, he was so impressed by you.
He constantly refers to you.
And he hates the way I drive.
I guess it's perfect. I'll sit in the
back and then at the right moment...
...l'll put him out of his misery.
A tan suit? I don't...
Yes, yes, I'll have those papers
for you tomorrow. Goodbye.
Dr. Lopez, please.
My name is Insurance. Mr. Insurance.
Hold on, please.
Doctor? Telfono. Doctor?
- Yes?
- Yeah, hi, Dr. Lopez.
I'm with Safe and Sound Casualty.
We have a Mr. Steve Rickey applying...
...for life insurance,
and we need information.
Yes, sir, I would like to recommend
but it is impossible.
Seor Rickey has very bad condition.
Around the heart,
the arteries have a hard-on.
Well, that's very bad for him
but good to know.
Doctor, thank you very much
for your honesty.
Hello, Leonard.
Hi. Everything all right?
Don't worry about me, darling.
Leonard's here to help.
- Please let me help you, darling.
- You're so sweet. I'm fine. Leonard's here.
- What happened?
- What?
Your foot?
I tripped putting on my pants.
And you're wearing the same suit as I am.
Can you put this in the trunk?
Can I help you with this here?
- Why don't you get in back?
- Thank you.
I don't even know why
I'm going on this foot.
- Len, if you were coming, I'd have fun.
- You'll have a wonderful time.
Leonard, don't talk like that. I'm sorry
I said that. The foot's killing me.
- He's been a terror all day.
- You all set there? You all organised?
- What the hell was that?
- What?
- Did you make a noise?
- No, I didn't.
You're hearing things, darling.
We better get started.
I'll go put this in the trunk.
You're going the wrong way.
Leonard, turn around.
The station's the other way.
Leonard, look,
we're passing a cemetery.
It's deserted here.
I don't know. I give up. I'm lost.
Now what?
Is it over yet?
No, Jesus!
Don't! Get it off of him, goddamn it!
Get it off!
I don't wanna hear it! No!
It's a mercy killing.
It's all right. It's euthanasia. Euthanasia.
We're all better off.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
He's better off. He's in a better place.
I swear to God. He's in a better place.
There's no reason to cry.
He didn't suffer. He went right out.
I just... I didn't even hear
him make a sound.
I did. It was kind of like a:
Stop that!
Let's go through the plan again.
Get on the train.
2 miles past Windsor Heights,
you jump off.
- 2.1 miles!
- 2.1 miles past Windsor Heights.
- Take this key.
- Right.
Open car 12.
- Jump out.
- You'll be there with the car.
- I'll flash the lights twice if it's okay.
- Check.
- What check?
- Check. It means yes.
- All aboard!
- Everything's gonna be just fine.
Big kiss, darling. And your bag.
- Do you need some help?
- Whoa!
- Upsy-daisy.
- Thank you.
He won't take help from anyone.
That's just the kind of man he is.
Come on, get on the train!
- Everything all right, darling?
- Yes.
Now, have a wonderful time
at that Army reunion...
...and give my best to all
the old Army buddies.
- Beautiful night, isn't it?
- Rickey. Steve Rickey.
What's the matter?
Forget something?
Can I help? What's the matter?
- Valium. My pills.
- Oh, your pills. Where are they?
- Three cars back.
- It's back there?
- Yeah.
- Oh, certainly. I'll get it for you.
You stay here.
I don't mind helping out at all.
- All right.
- Three cars back?
Third seat on the right.
You know,
you have an interesting way of talking.
- You sound kind of like an engine.
- Oh, yeah.
Well, I'll go get that pill case.
I always feel sorry for a guy on sticks.
- I'm happy to do it. I'll get your pills.
- Thank you very much.
Okay, three cars back.
Who is it?
Blanche, is that you?
Of course it's me.
- Are you alone?
- No! No, I'm not alone!
I've got a dead body with me,
Leonard. Honestly.
Oh, God, it was terrible. The man
on the train wouldn't leave me alone.
What are you doing?
Wouldn't stop talking.
Wouldn't leave me alone.
Almost drove me crazy.
- I couldn't get away from him.
- Damn it, Steve!
Look what you made me do to you!
Let's go.
- You can't leave him here.
- You do it. I can't. I've done enough.
I jumped off about 200 yards that way.
It's the wrong place!
You can't leave him
with a blanket on!
Leonard, hurry up.
Wait, I said! Jesus Christ!
Can't leave the blanket on him.
Nobody jumps off trains
with blankets on them!
Why didn't you just roll him
in the damn thing?
There's a million safety pins!
I'm coming! Goddamn it!
Okay, okay, okay.
You're going to Yale.
It's good, it's good.
- resting in the weeds nearby,
clothes battered and dusty.
He ask ed for his Valium, and then death.
Losing his balance, police think,
and tumbling from the train.
Steve Rick ey.
"A nice fella," George Noozel,
a passing stranger, calls him.
- "A man of few words." Tonight...
- What are you...?
- Quiet! I gotta hear this!
- All right. Jesus! I'm sorry.
A man whose face
is virtually unrecognisable.
Ripped to shreds, the police say,
by the force of the fall.
The last person to see Rick ey alive,
the poodle salesman George Noozel.
- Do we have cream soda in the house?
- Nobody has cream soda in their house.
- I'm gonna go get some cream soda.
- Leonard, at 10 past 11?
- I got the urge.
- Nothing's open!
- 7-Eleven!
- Not dressed like that!
- They don't care.
- This is crazy!
You're moaning in the hallway,
now you're off to buy cream soda!
- There's someone else!
- There's nobody else.
What am I doing wrong?
What am I doing wrong, Leonard?
- I'm doing something for the boys.
- In your robe?
Listen to me. It's complicated.
It's very unusual.
It's extremely unusual, but I can't talk!
I'm coming... I'll be right in a bit.
I'm coming back.
Leonard? Leonard?! Get me something
crunchy to eat!
- Hi. This is Blanche Rick ey...
- What did you do to his face?!
- Hi. I'm Steve Rick ey. I'm...
- What did you do to his face?!
If you have a message for either...
I feel terrible about this thing.
I'm not blaming you.
It could've happened to anyone.
Some coincidence. Two days
after they buy the policy. Jesus!
- I feel terrible about this.
- Yeah, well, tell him.
- Mr. O'Mara's here for his appointment.
- Yes, yes, send him in.
- Well, gentlemen.
- Sir.
- Morning.
- Morning.
Morning, sir.
Come in, come in.
We've been waiting for you.
This is the grieving widow,
Mrs. Blanche Rickey.
Mrs. Rickey, this is Mr. O'Mara,
head of our claims division.
Ma'am, my condolences.
I'd like to introduce Mrs. Rickey's
attorney, Mr. Lloyd Nagle.
Gentlemen, my pleasure.
One of these mornings
makes you feel glad to be alive.
You all right, Hoffman?
The wife's cooking, eh?
Mr. Nagle, why don't you join us?
Get things underway.
Fabulous coffee.
Has that real Colombian flavour.
Really starts the day off right. As
an attorney, that's extremely important.
I'm sure it is.
Mr. Nagle, Mr. O'Mara,
Mr. Hoffman.
My pleasure, gentlemen. I only wish
the circumstances were more pleasant.
No, stay there, Mr. Nagle.
We'll join you.
Mrs. Rickey, we're gonna join
Mr. Nagle, your attorney.
Are you all right?
- Is there anything I can get for you?
- I'm fine.
So ironic, isn't it, Mr. Hoffman?
Just a couple of days ago
we were all together.
Laughing. Alive.
Well, it's been a very disturbing time
for all of us.
One thing I'm grateful for. They were able
to restore Steve's face just like new.
- Ripped up, the cops said.
- It wasn't nice.
We saw the remains last night. He looked
like linguine with red clam sauce.
I just looked at him and said:
Be ye my bonny, bonny lad
Be ye my bonny, bonny lad
When the heather is yorn
And the calves go free to Loch Lomond
And be ye my bonny, bonny lad
When the lard goes twinkle, twinkle,
We to purse
Sometime in late August
It's Robert Burns.
Mr. Rickey's favourite poet
in Tiparillo.
Yes, yes.
Mrs. Rickey, we understand
the unfortunate circumstances...
...that bring us together today.
But due to the bizarre and grotesque
nature of your husband's death, we...
- We must ask you a few questions.
- Of course.
Mr. O'Mara, would you...?
I know this has been a rough day
for you, so I'll be as brief as possible.
We would appreciate that.
Thank you.
Mrs. Rickey... you know what the odds are
of someone dying by falling off a train?
No, I don't. I've always been so lucky.
What could it be?
5-to-1? 10-to-1?
- Approximately a billion-to-1.
- No kidding? Really?
I never knew that.
Mr. Hoffman...
...did you know that?
- No.
You know the odds of falling off
a train and dying...
...48 hours after taking out an
accident policy worth 5 million bucks?
No odds! It's off the chart!
Statistically impossible.
- It would never happen!
- Why don't you say what you really mean?
You think I killed my husband
for the insurance.
- Mrs. Rickey, no.
- What about Mr. Hoffman?
Maybe he's in on it. He sold me
the policy. Maybe it's all a conspiracy.
- I promise you there's...
- How dare you treat me like some hussy!
Mr. Nagle, please?
Don't let them treat me like a hussy.
She's on the verge of a nervous
collapse. I recommend an intermission.
You're both full of shit.
I'm gonna prove it.
Is that necessary?
There's a widow in the room.
O'Mara, that's enough.
Sir, in the interest of fair play...
...l'd appreciate that check for $5 million
as soon as possible.
We'll pay you when we've
completed our investigation.
Well, that's fair.
That's right.
I was gonna demand an investigation... order to clear Mrs. Rickey's name.
- Thank you.
- There has to be an autopsy. Right, Len?
- Yes.
In cases like these,
an autopsy is required.
- Gotta slice him open. Right, Len?
- I understand.
Well, I'm all for it.
Now what we're gonna have to do
is agree upon a doctor.
Now, Mr. O'Mara... have on your list a Dr. Lopez.
I'll take him.
- lf it's all right with Len, it's fine with me.
- Mr. Hoffman?
- Fine with me.
- My God!
she's emotionally overcome.
Thank you very much
for your time and your patience.
I'm sorry.
- There we go.
- I'm sorry.
There you go. There you are.
Want a bowl of soup?
Well done, O'Mara.
Break them in two days, sir.
Lunch, Len?
No, I have things on my desk.
- Thank you, Hoffman. Nice work.
- You ought to be on antibiotics, Len.
Sweetie, I'll be in the bathroom.
You were marvellous, Leonard.
We were all good.
Hey, Len.
I wanna know who was murdered.
- Nobody.
- Nobody was murdered?
- She didn't kill you?
- No.
- Did she kill anybody?
- No, dear.
- Did I kill anybody?
- No.
Did anybody kill anybody?
This is the happiest moment of my life.
Here, get you a towel.
My goodness.
Leonard? I'm Steve Rickey,
you remember me?
Who's the man by the railroad tracks?
The man with his face ripped off?
That was a homeless individual. I don't
know his name, Len. No family ties.
- Where did you get him?
- From the county morgue.
You stole him from the county morgue?
- Where am I gonna get a body, Len?
- You escape from a mental institution?
Len, can't change place... In order
to collect, you gotta have a body.
I couldn't think of a way to do it without
a body. If you know a way, tell me.
Leonard? You all right in there?
If you don't do anything else,
get yourself some Pepto-Bismol.
- Blanche just peeked in. She said hello.
- Good. Thank you. Thank you very much.
Len, now, the idea is
to settle the autopsy.
Well, I'm not gonna be
at the autopsy.
Leonard, we're this close to the money.
You're the broker on the case.
You gonna go like this, with the wig?
No, Leonard, that was just...
That was a crazy impulse...
...I had to be there to see people's faces.
Look, I'll never do that again.
We'll get the money. All good thoughts.
That's already out there, dear.
Come on. Let's go.
This rental place is gonna murder us
if we're late.
- How much for the birds?
- High. Wildlife is high. 50 a day.
- That's not too bad.
- Not too bad?
- How much was my Frank Buck suit?
- The safari outfit.
To die. Steve, you in jodhpurs.
- Romantic?
- Took my breath away.
I'm keeping the hat. How much?
A lot. That and the widow's piece
were $75.
- That's not to worry.
- Not to worry? We don't have it.
That's no problem. I get it from Len.
He seems like a nice guy.
What about the big-ticket items?
The truck, car?
- We leave them in the field, pay later.
- I love your attitude. You're so confident.
What can go wrong?
It's all in the planning, cookie.
We did our homework, case closed.
Pick up the money.
Okay. Okay, anything you say.
What about Leonard?
- Len? He's like a dog with a bone.
- Really? After all that vomiting?
Must've been something he ate. When
he gave it up, he snapped right back.
- Happy about the kids?
- Ecstatic.
He's a little gun-shy about the autopsy
tonight, but underneath? Seventh heaven.
- Still like to get it over with. I'd like to...
- Len, come on.
Let's go, let's go.
You know, you work on a case,
you wanna get it over with. Up or down.
- Wait a minute. It's not that easy, Len.
- Up or down, up or down.
We just can't pay out a check for
5 million bucks, Len. You know?
We gotta study this.
I keep asking myself, a guy falls
off a train going 20 miles an hour... the hell does he lose his face?
- Maybe he's got a weak face.
- Doesn't make any sense.
- That's your field of expertise, not mine.
You ought to be on antibiotics.
I never saw sweat like that.
- Swine flu, John.
- That lawyer of hers. Nagle?
- How are you?
- What about him?
No record of him at the county clerk
or the county bar.
Well, yeah, maybe he just passed
the bar. Just passed the bar.
Maybe he ain't a lawyer.
- From the insurance, yes?
- I'm John O'Mara, this is Len Hoffman.
- Very nice.
- Hope we're not intruding.
No, no, no.
Everything is all ready. Please.
- Great, great. In there?
- To the right.
- I love morgues.
- Yes.
- In here?
- This way.
- This way.
- Hey, where's Leonard?
- I thought he was here.
- Let me go.
- No, no, I will go.
- He's sick...
- You wait. We'll be a minute.
- Yeah, but he's sick.
Take it easy with him.
Mr. Hoffman. You must come downstairs.
No, no, we have a slight problem.
- It's all right...
- Problem?
The man with no face.
There was a mix-up.
- A mix-up?
- He was buried this morning... we have to improvise.
No, there is nothing to moo about.
It will be fine, you'll be fine. Come.
- Beautiful weather. Said it might rain...
- What the hell's going on?
...but then they revised it. He's fine.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Sure?
- Yeah, I'm good.
- Len, you can go home...
...I can finish this if you want,
you know.
- I'm here. Might as well...
- You sure? Okay.
- Down here.
- Take it easy, now.
- Okay. Through here?
- Yes, yes, yes.
This is where my little friends are all
asleep. It's, of course, a joke we make.
They're all dead.
You find too cold in here?
- Fine with me. Len?
- Fine! Fine!
- You've been in morgues before?
- Sure, lot of times. I like morgues.
- Not me, no, not me.
- I could show a short film.
Let's get the show on the road.
Where is he?
- The late Seor Rickey?
- Yeah, yeah, the late.
- You eat yet, Len?
- I had a little goulash.
- Yeah? I love goulash.
- Yeah?
- That him, doc?
- Si, si.
- Yeah?
- The moment of truth, yes?
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, come on, Len, let's go.
Now, I was able to perform...
...a radical reconstructive
surgery on Seor Rickey.
How can you restore a face
that was completely ripped off?
- That is not easy, my friend.
- Impossible.
Nothing is impossible if you believe
with the heart. Yes, Seor Hoffman?
I don't know these things.
Hey, doc, cut the shit.
Let's go.
Presenting the late Seor Rickey.
Is that him, Len?
That's him, all right.
Tremendous job, doc, gotta say.
- Started with nothing?
- Oh, it's tremendous work.
In order to reconstruct
the nose, for example...
...I was forced to use a portion
of his penis.
- You used part of his pecker?
- Si, si.
- That's amazing.
- Oh, yes.
Just don't rub the nose.
Don't rub his nose?
Very good, doc.
- Like Pinocchio. You hear that, Len?
- Very funny joke.
Don't rub his nose!
That's a hell of a job, doc.
Hell of a job. Can't even see the scar.
Careful. Don't touch, because medic has
not quite finished the process, it's...
- He did an autopsy this afternoon?
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- And?
- The cause of death is the broken neck.
Broken neck. Son of a bitch.
Broken neck's a broken neck.
No, no. Broken neck,
you gotta pay for broken neck.
You have to pay, you have to pay.
- I'll tell you something, doc.
- Si?
- I have a different theory.
- You don't like the broken neck?
My theory is...
My theory is...
...this bastard's still alive.
We lost this one.
What'd I tell you?
The whole thing was screwy.
Face ripped off.
- You're all under arrest, every one of you!
- Get some tape, tie him up.
We're gonna kidnap you, John.
You're gonna come with us.
- Len, will you help me over here?
- Mr. O'Mara, remember where you are.
- Please.
- Get him out of here. Where's my clothes?
Let me at them!
Get away from me!
- Who's got my pants?
- Seor Rickey, here's the pants.
- There is no problem.
- Leonard, get in the car.
We just chalk that up to experience,
You can't win them all, kid.
Get in the car.
Well, we blew it, doc.
Could've been the makeup.
- What happened?
- Nothing to be alarmed at.
Couple loose ends we gotta pick up.
We're still on track.
What happened?
Does anybody want air conditioning?
How about you, Len?
Len's not talking. He's out to lunch.
Which is good.
Is this over? Are we still getting
the money?
Sure, we're gonna get the money.
"Congratulations," said the doctor.
"You're the father of three fine boys.
- And they all look exactly like you."
- Who looks like who?
- Who looks like who? Leonard?
- Honey, he's not actually talking.
He's just reminiscing.
Just let him enjoy himself.
- I'd like to go to the bus station.
- You're right...
- What for?
- We'll use them for middle names.
- That sounds more...
- Things are going good, sweetie.
- Not perfect...
- I wanted to be a musician...
The bus station, now.
Leonard, can you hear me?
- I understand, sir...
- I'm off to San Jose.
- I'm Blanche Linoor, the actress.
- Sweetie.
I'm gonna be appearing in
Man of La Mancha with Dick Cavett.
- I'm not saying anything...
- All right, that's it!
- What?!
- Finished.
Steve! What are you, crazy?
What are you doing?
- Out, Blanche.
- What?
Let's go! Out!
What did I do?
I don't expect bouquets, Blanche,
but a little understanding.
We kidnapped
the insurance investigator.
I put a lot of thought into this scheme,
stayed awake nights.
Rented the birds. Nagle, the bald guy.
Hey, this is all good stuff!
Sardine liqueur. Wildlife motif.
I'm not saying it wasn't brilliant.
I'm just saying it didn't work.
Didn't work? Why? Just because we hit
one little snag and lost the body?
Steve, we've kidnapped
the insurance investigator.
Two little snags.
He knows you're alive. He sees you
walking. He sees you talking.
Honey, listen. You know,
I can't deal with this...
...because you take the heart out of me.
Everything you say is negative.
- Who can function in this atmosphere?
- I don't think you're hearing me.
We are on the verge of millions...
...and you wanna take a bus to
San Jose so you can act with Dick Cavett.
What verge? What millions?
Did you see that?
We almost lost Leonard.
Did you see that?
What, it's my fault?
- Well, whose fault is it, mine?
- Yes.
- My fault?
- I believe so, yes.
My fault!
Everything is my fault!
Inflation is my fault...
...your father's snoring, that's my fault.
Everything is my fault!
All afflictions. Baldness, heartburn,
that's me, Blanche.
Khomeini? I'm in back of Khomeini.
Everything. Steve Rickey.
I don't care what Glenn Gould did.
If you dip your fingers... bowls of water, they get electric.
I'm writing to my family. A statement
of principles and philosophy.
- Good. Do that on the side, Len.
- I'm tired. I gotta take a break now.
- A short break.
- Len. Trucks come over here.
He's a brilliant guy. But sometimes
I just can't get through.
So don't talk to yourself anymore.
Don't get nervous.
Now, I'd love to go on with you.
You know, together.
We could go up to Winslow's...
...and we'll make that settlement...
...get the money. And if we don't
make it, we'll both grab him.
Grab him by the throat, turn him
upside down and we'll kidnap him.
What do you say?
I'm gonna bend over.
If you agree, touch my back.
If you don't agree, don't touch me.
All right. I'll go in, ask him
for 4 million tonight.
He's gonna offer 2. We'll settle
for 3. A million and a half each.
- All right with you? You gotta go for it.
- Sounds right!
The house is dark. It's completely
deserted, there's nobody home...
...let's get out of here.
- We'll go rob the place.
- Good idea!
- Right?
- They're rich, they've got dogs.
- Dogs? What are you talking, dogs?
- Alarm systems.
- Dogs love me.
- Don't think they've heard of...
- Forget alarms!
- Don't be an idiot!
- Two minutes, we're out!
We're not taking anything heavy.
Light stuff that travels.
You gonna listen to her or what?!
I wanna go in and rob.
- We can stay there as long as we want.
- Good enthusiasm. Let's go.
She's an actress. She's theatrical.
And she's frightened for me.
- I'd miss that if that wasn't there.
- I don't wanna hear this.
- I wanna concentrate on the robbing.
- Heart of gold, though. Heart of gold.
Family's from New Jersey,
so you know she's well brought up.
That's it. There you go.
As long as you do it with style...
...then nothing else matters.
What do we do now?
Well, now we go around
to different rooms, you know.
And you see what you like,
and if you like it, you take it.
- And if you don't like it, don't take it.
- Right.
Be discriminating.
Don't take what you don't like.
Come here. Come here.
That's what I want.
- That's a very good choice, Leonard.
- Thank you.
- A Michelangelo.
- I had a feeling.
- That's the pick of the litter, Leonard.
- Thank you very much.
What do we do, break the glass?
Jimmy it.
- In here?
- In there.
- Jimmy it.
- Try that.
Yeah, okay.
Now we take it
and we get out of here.
- Big piece.
- Oh, boy.
But it's a beautiful piece.
It's a good choice.
Thank you.
- You see The Agony and the Ecstasy?
- Many years ago.
Charlton Heston? Not bad.
I must admit, that was a boring party.
A surprise party.
I don't believe this.
Dear friends, I am truly surprised.
You know, when we came up
to the house tonight, it was all dark...
...I turned to Millie and said,
"My God, we must've lost our power."
Oh, Fred, you dirty rat.
You're the one responsible.
- I can tell by that look in your eye.
- Happy birthday.
Harriet, you came all the way
down for this. Thank you, Julie.
Back from the Bahamas.
Look at you all.
Dorothy, thanks for being here.
No, no. No cake. Just a big drink.
Thank you. One for me,
one for my lady. There we go.
Who's that over there?
Hoffman, what are you doing here?
Why are you walking around
with my Michelangelo?
- Yeah.
- Oh, this is a Michelangelo?
- Thought so. I mentioned that to Leonard.
- Yes, he did.
- This is a beautiful piece.
- Get out. Or I call the police.
- People must've been much shorter then.
- We were actually on our way out.
Well, we had that business
that we wanted to discuss.
I want you out of my house.
I'd like to thank you for sharing
your birthday. Lovely party.
- Now. Both of you! Out! Get out!
- Enjoy, everyone.
- We'll talk Monday.
- Right. Len, you wanna take this?
Beautiful home.
If you ever wanna rent it...
I didn't feel welcome there.
I don't know about you.
Eighteen years I worked for that man.
18 years.
I didn't pursue the settlement.
The time wasn't right.
He kicks me out of his house!
I kick him out of my house!
Leonard, they're snobs.
They're just not our kind of people.
We can't rob his house,
we'll go rob him in the office.
I just don't want us
to run off like crazy people.
You'd think they'd keep
the place up, Len.
I'll check the log,
make sure no one's upstairs.
Davis, out. Leon, out. Perfect.
So far, so good.
You don't wanna sign in.
You're the best.
Okay. There's a switch under here.
I saw him hit it
when I was in the office.
I notice everything.
- Through here?
- Of course.
There it is.
This is the safe,
the one that I was telling you about.
Everything we want is in there.
- There's no tumblers.
- No, that's right.
- This is electronic.
- That's right.
Jim pushed the button over here.
The guy told him to press something,
so he pushed it.
What are you doing?
The safe is over here.
- Why don't we do this together?
- Yes. Let me do it. I'll do it. Here.
Boy, this is working like a charm.
Okay, now you can hold the light,
let's see, two lights.
- Where there's a will, there's a way.
- Where there's a will, there's a way.
This is what I call pleasure. This is fun.
Now, Leonard, don't be disappointed
if we get back there, you know...
I just don't want you to be disappointed.
We'll find another way.
No, no, nothing worthwhile
ever comes easily.
Hey, you see The Great Escape?
Steve McQueen? Boy, those guys work.
Oh, lookie here. Leonard.
Leonard, you hear how thin that is?
It's gonna go easy. Listen, Leonard.
It's like an eighth of an inch.
- Get the stuff. This is gonna work.
- The briquettes?
- Yes, Leonard, everything.
- Okay.
We're gonna blow it.
This is gonna work! Hurry up!
- Steve?
- What?
- Wanna come here for a minute?
- What? What's the problem?
There's somebody here.
He's looking at me.
Well, ask him what he wants.
I don't wanna.
- You ask him what he wants.
- Hey, how you doing?
Bear with me a little minute.
Be right out.
Get out of here.
You're cramping my style.
Hey, what do you say?
- What's happening? Everything all right?
- So, what's up?
- What's happening? Who is it?
- lf you're a crook, we beat you to it.
If you're a cop, no harm done.
A little hole in the wall.
Yeah, French. Bonjour. Oui, si.
Leonard? Leonard?
You speak French, Len?
What is that, the authorities?
Italian? No.
Un poco. Little bit.
We don't like to speak in English.
It's against what we stand for.
Are we gonna get incarcerated?
Are you in the process
of robbing this place?
- Yes, as a matter of fact, we are.
- We are in the process of blowing it up.
- What's getting blown up?
- What time is that gonna take place?
What are you shooting for?
We got gold in here. Are you crazy?
Hit him. On the head, Leonard.
Hit him! Beautiful.
Don't understand gold. They must be very
ignorant. Don't worry, I'll make a deal.
Hello? Listen, fellas.
We don't wanna do anything to you.
We wanna make a deal for gold.
Five minutes.
This whole place is gonna blow up.
Anybody hurt?
Why don't we make a deal?
We got gold in here.
Capisce gold?
Comprendo gold?
And, you, I don't speak English.
You gotta untie me. We're dealing with
one of the world's biggest companies.
They have as much money
as an oil company.
And they can be very dangerous
if you get them angry.
We're not talking a light jail sentence.
We're talking about being blown away.
- Please.
- No damage, everything'll be all right.
Don't let anything happen to them.
They don't mean any harm. They're cute.
I promise nothing
is gonna happen to them.
- Say it again.
- Nothing is gonna happen to them.
- They'll be all right.
- Okay.
Nothing's gonna happen.
They'll be all right!
- You said you promised!
- I promise.
They're gonna be all right.
Nothing will happen to them.
What the hell's going on here? Frank?!
Hey, lady.
Hey, lady. There are terrorists
about to blow the building there.
What are you doing here?
We know there are terrorists up there
trying to blow up the building.
So Mr. Leonard Hoffman,
who works for United Marine...
...Mr. O'Mara, who's the head of security,
who works directly with Mr. Winslow...
...and Steve Rickey, my husband, have
just gone up there to try and stop them.
You mind giving me
those names again?
Not at all.
What the hell is this?
What's going on here?
Hey, who are you?
What are you doing here?
- Who are you?
- I asked you, who are you?
- Who are you?!
- Don't ask me who I am.
- Who are you, what are you doing here?!
- Who are you?!
- Who are you, what are you doing here?!
- Who are you?
- Who the fuck are you? You tell me now!
- Don't fuck me, fuck you!
You don't say fuck me.
You tell me who you are. Right now!
- I'm with security. Who are you?!
- This is who I am!
All right, take it easy, take it easy.
I got dynamite here! That's dynamite!
Damn gun jammed!
Help! Help! Help! Help!
I shoot you. I shoot you.
I can shoot! I'll shoot you!
I better go out there
and see what's going on.
- You're not going.
- I gotta go!
- You don't know what you're doing.
- What's going on, John?
Drop it.
Oh, the wires!
I gotta get my building back.
This is my home.
I worked here for 20 years.
It's too late! In 25 seconds,
the whole place is gonna blow up.
- The whole place!
- Everybody I know has worked here!
- Len, let's go.
- Don't touch me!
You bastards, this is
the executive bathroom!
It's in here, guys. The timing device
is here! I got it! I got it! I got it!
Oh, God. Oh, God, it's still ticking.
Get back, get back, Steve.
Goddamn, it's ticking. It's ticking.
- Len?
- It's ticking. It's ticking!
We're not in the clear yet.
It's ticking, guys!
Look out! Run for your lives!
- Help me break it! Help me break it!
- Get him up!
I got it! Nothing to fear now.
Thank God for you police.
You really saved our lives.
What are you talking about?
I'm a civilian.
Look, I'm not looking for any glory here,
but I rounded up, single-handed...
...about 10 guys with a weapon.
No, I'm just gonna stay.
I'm just gonna stay here.
You don't know
what the hell's going on here.
He's Len Hoffman.
He saved the whole thing.
- Little panicky now.
- What do you think you're doing?
- Think he needs medical treatment?
- I can understand.
What he went through. Unbelievable.
Do you think he needs treatment?
- No, we'll take care of him. He'll be fine.
- He'll be fine?
- Yeah, sure.
- Just gonna sit down.
- What is your name, sir?
- You don't know how close we all came.
The terrorists here in the building came
all the way down, followed...
Your name! Your name, sir!
Your name.
- I'm Steve.
- Steve?
- Yeah.
- Just plain Steve?
Steve Rickey. Nice to see you.
- Oh, right, Rickey, Rickey.
- Right.
The blond lady downstairs told
us about you. These guys are clear.
- Blanche.
- Yeah. She's okay. Everything's okay.
- You don't know how close we all came.
- We'll read about it in the paper.
- These are all terrorists.
- Okay, let us through, let us through.
You shouldn't be here, sir.
Still very dangerous.
- We're not sure of anything yet.
- I know who did this.
We have them around the corner.
Up against the wall.
- I hope you throw the book at them.
- You know them?
- Yes, I know these people.
- You do know these people?
- I think so, yes.
- Okay, let's take a look.
- Get out of the way!
- Coming through.
- How dangerous are these people?
- A bunch of bums.
Good job, men.
Okay, turn them around.
Hey, turn around.
Okay, Winslow.
You wanna look at these people?
- Oh, my God.
- Is that them?
I don't know them.
My God, chief, thank you.
Thank you. You saved the company.
Literally saved the company.
We didn't do nothing.
It was over when we got here.
But your security man,
Mr. O'Mara, saved the day here.
- O'Mara?
- That's right.
- Who the hell is O'Mara?
- Where is he?
He's in charge of security.
Right this way, sir. I'll show you.
Are you all right?
You had a full night.
Soon you'll be in a nice bed.
Here's Mr. O'Mara, sir.
O'Mara, I just don't know
how to thank you.
- Don't thank me, sir. Thank him. He did it.
- I think we're all entitled to a reward.
Hoffman. I'll do anything.
Ladies and gentlemen, would you
kindly join us at the seats, please?
The concert is about to begin.
I'm very happy to be a part of this
little sendoff for Len Hoffman's boys.
Tomorrow they'll be on a plane
for New Haven, Connecticut...
...and four years of Yale.
You know, I've always felt
in America that cream rises to the top.
Whether it's already the top,
in the case of my own family...
...or from our great middle class,
as represented by Len Hoffman.
This guy will say anything.
These fine boys prove that hard work,
determination and integrity...
...always reaps rewards. So, boys...
...if music be the food of love,
play on.
Hard work.
Sometimes things... Sweetheart?
Sometimes things just work out right.
- Leonard. May I ask you something?
- Not now.
Do you regret meeting me?
What I'm really asking you, Leonard, are
we gonna be together after the concert?
Please, please, let me
just hear what's going on.
Leonard, are we gonna go on
and do something together...
...or are you going back to her?
Steve, just the way things
have been right along.
Things are gonna stay the way they are.
I look back on this week... a psychotic episode in my life.
Psychotic episode.
Psychotic episode.
Steve, I'm envious of the boys.
That should be me up there.
Was this a psychotic episode?
I mean, I can understand that you enjoy
sending the boys to college...
...but how long can that enjoyment last?
I mean, what about tomorrow?
We're going to New York.
I got an idea for a Broadway show.
- We'll use the boys playing Mozart.
- People are trying to listen...
No, see, this is what we do.
We go to Graham, get more money...
...maybe open five or six shows.
- I'm not gonna tell you again.
It's wonderful.
No problem, no problem.
All right, everybody down.
Down, sweetheart. Down. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Keep playing, fellas. That's it.
- Sit down. Sorry.
- You sit down. You just sit down.
- You too. Sit down.
- Evidence of this day.
No problem.
Leonard's back.
- Evidence.
- Shut up.
I understand. I understand, Len.
I understand.
Len's back. Leonard's back.
This is a hell of a party.