Blame It on the Bellboy (1992) Movie Script

You don't know?
You know there is a contract
out on me.
You know it's to happen tomorrow.
You know it's come from London.
You know all these things.
But not his name.
Tell me the name!
He doesn't know.
We gotta be alert.
Keep your eyes peeled.
Get that little shit before he gets me.
Welcome to Flight 122 from London
Heathrow to Venice Marco Polo.
If for any reason the air supply fails...
- Are you not a flyer?
- No.
Read. That's the best thing.
Isn't this important?
Do you think when you're plummeting
into the Alps at 500 mph,
you are actually going
to remember this?
- Buying property?
- Yes.
It's my boss, actually.
I'm just supervising the purchase.
Well, let's hope we get there, then, eh?
[engines roar]
Signorina, telefono!
Hello, Caroline Wright speaking.
Buongiorno, Caroline,
Signore Marco for you.
- Ciao, Carolina.
- Signore Marco.
- Is the work finished?
- They're finishing off now.
Have they managed
to hide everything?
It looks fine, yes. On the surface.
Found any fools yet?
Mr... Orton from England.
He's looking around tomorrow morning.
30 percent if you can get cash
by Wednesday.
- Sorry?
- You heard.
There's 30 percent commission for you.
If I sell this place
by Wednesday for cash,
you'll triple my commission?
The most we could get is 60,000.
Can you do that?
I'm sure I can.
You've screwed people before.
You can do it again.
The English will buy anything!
[plane roars past]
That's what it seems to be.
An old fogy's lonely hearts. A Club 58-70.
Good value, mind you. You get
your flights, meal vouchers,
five nights in Venice
at Hotel Gabrielli.
And they throw in a woman.
You've no idea who she is.
A sort of lucky bag.
- And she will be.
- Same again?
Large one, darling.
Yes, marvelous.
It's all done by computers, you know.
Medi-Date, they're called.
Okay. The Metropole.
That's the one. Grazie.
There you are, Signore Horton.
- I hope you enjoy Venice.
- I'm sure I will.
[calls back to desk]
You stay.
[bellboy mutters]
[very slowly]
I have a reservation here.
Could I have your name?
Orton. Melvyn Orton.
Is something wrong?
It's just that we have just welcomed
another gentleman.
Another Mr... Orton.
Oh, that's Horton with an H.
I'm Orton.
Oh, s, s.
No problem, then.
Scusi, sono occupato.
[church bell]
- Signore Orton! Orton!
- Horton.
That's me.
I... envelope you.
I'm sorry?
I... envelope... you.
- Envelope.
- Envelope.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you very kind.
Miss Right, eh?
Good evening.
How can I help you?
I need to deliver this by hand
to Mike Lawton.
What room is he in?
- Michael Horton.
- Mike Lawton, yes.
Just one moment.
[taps keyboard]
[sounding like Mike Lawton]
Michael Horton.
Room 310.
Hello, is this Veni Villas?
S, signore.
Good. Your office was supposed
to send over the details of a property.
It's the Gabrielli. Room 310.
- S! Signore Orton?
- That's right.
They are coming, signore.
Terrific. Thank you very much indeed.
I'm supposed to have had an
envelope delivered. It hasn't arrived.
- It's very important.
- S, signore. What name?
Mike Lawton.
- Michael Horton.
- Mike Lawton, yeah.
- Michael Orton?
- Yeah.
I like it.
A woman.
Hi, Ruby, it's Melvyn.
Mr. Marshall's office, please.
Melvyn who?
- Melvyn Orton.
- Sorry?
- Orton.
- I'll see if he's free.
- Marshall.
- Sir, it's Melvyn here.
- Melvyn who?
- Orton.
- In Venice.
- Right. What's it like?
It's absolutely beautiful.
It's warm, but not too warm...
The villa, you dickhead,
what's the villa like?
I've only just got here,
but I do have some particulars.
For Christ's sake, I've got serious
money to offload in two days.
So stop farting around
with frigging pictures.
Look at the thing. I want news.
Call me when you've got news
and not before.
I warned you, this is your last chance
to do something right, asshole.
- [dead line]
- Thank you, sir.
[Italian television]
Oh, yeah.
[menacing voices]
Where is Domino? [spits]
Oh! God...
Good Lord.
[turns off television]
[clears throat]
- Hello. Mr. Orton?
- I'm looking for Miss Caroline Wright.
Yes, I'm Caroline Wright.
I'll come down.
I hadn't realized
you'd be out on an island.
Yes, that's the only drawback but...
I mean, it is a pleasant drawback.
Having your own boat is the answer.
It's a bit of a dream of mine.
My very own speedboat.
It is... Miss Caroline Wright.
- From the agency?
- Yes.
Only I didn't expect you to be quite so...
Thank you, Mr. Orton, but it doesn't
make me any less capable.
No, I don't doubt that.
- And it's Horton, with an H.
- Oh, sorry.
So, anyway, this is the garden.
And as you can see,
it's a lovely view, isn't it?
Would you prefer to start inside?
Right, Melvyn, this is your last chance.
Get it right.
Bang on time.
Maybe I should say, "Dead on time."
Come on. What are you doing?
Don't go soft.
One, two, three.
Umm... it's not for sale?
You are almost funny.
You know that?
Very nearly funny.
Talk to me once more
about house-buying, you little shit,
I'll rip your flabby face off, capisce?
Yes, yes, yes.
If for some strange reason, you want
to keep your face the way she is.
Just tell me.
Who sent you?
- Mr. Marshall.
- Marshall?
Who is Marshall?
Executive director, Accounts.
Marshall, Hall & Thompson.
This Marshall shit.
Why's he want me dead?
Dead? I don't think he does.
I'm sure he doesn't.
- He's just...
- Just what?
You know, it's funny.
The agency put me in a hotel.
Yes, I know. It is okay, isn't it?
Yes, it's great,
but I'd rather be somewhere like this.
Well, let's hope you will be, Mr. Horton.
Please, call me Maurice.
All right... Maurice.
[plane engine]
Shall we go upstairs?
This way.
What is going on?
- Do you like what you see?
- Very much so.
I suppose we ought to get down
to the... nitty-gritty.
- Good Lord.
- I'm sorry?
Well, I mean... don't you think it's early
in the day for that talk?
We've only just met. I mean...
I don't want you to think
I am an old fuddy-duddy.
It's just...
I suppose young people
do things differently.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to rush you,
but it is why we're here.
Isn't it?
Yes, yes. Absolutely.
Yes, it's just that I thought
we could perhaps...
Go and have a meal, or something.
Pave the way, break the ice. A drink.
Look, there's obviously been
a terrible mistake.
And I can't afford a mistake.
He said this was my last chance.
- Who said?
- Mr. Marshall.
"Here's an air ticket," he says.
"Check out the villa and buy it.
"Mess this up and you're out."
Your bloody Mr. Marshall, he no exist.
He does!
He's the director of accounts.
Then you can telephone him, no?
Well, yes, but he's very busy.
He doesn't like me ringing...
[Orton yells]
One, two, three.
A spot of gardening?
Can I join you?
I must say, a bit backward
in coming forward. Patricia Fulford.
"Of Huddersfield.
Interests, Mickey Spillane and eating.
"Seeks similar fun lover."
Are you all right?
Are you shy?
Terribly, terribly shy.
I've seen you following me,
trying to pluck up courage.
Here I am, I'm all yours.
It didn't say you were shy
in your file. Or musical.
Hunting and shooting, it said.
Would it make things easier for you
if we just had a stroll?
Most clients would never bother
with this.
- Clients.
- It's straight in there.
That's the way
they want to do things nowadays.
Some of them want to do it
on the phone. It's unbelievable.
That's the modern world for you.
You sound as though you're not new
to this... game.
No, been at it for years.
- Oh, isn't it beautiful?
- Let's go in here.
- This'll do.
- Yes.
What for?
What line of work are you in?
I'm a bank manager.
- Are you married?
- No, absolutely not.
- Didn't you see my file?
- Your file?
- I'm a widower.
- I'm sorry.
It was long time ago.
She was a very good wife, Rosemary.
Tragic, really.
Camping in Wales.
She used to run a girl scout group.
One night, she nipped into the tent
to answer nature's call.
Tripped over a guy rope. Tent peg...
Oh, my God!
Still, I honestly believe, if she was
looking down on us now...
she wouldn't disapprove.
You know...
This sort of rigmarole.
That's nice.
Shame she can't be here
to enjoy it with you.
- Marshall?
- Sir, it's Melvyn.
Melvyn who?
Orton, sir.
In Venice, looking at the villa, sir.
Ah, you. What's it like?
I still haven't seen it yet, sir.
I just phoned to say that everything
is under control.
Jesus, Orton, you dickhead.
Do you want the sack?
I told you to look at the bloody thing
and to ring me when you've seen it.
I'm busy, Orton,
and you're a pain in the ass.
[dead line]
He knows me.
You are a worm.
You just sit there and take that shit?
- He's my boss.
- He insulted you.
And you just sit there?
If anyone insulted me,
I would have their knees blown off.
Well, I don't have your...
You don't have the guts.
Life is not worth living
if you live it like a worm.
I am... not a worm. Honestly.
You take that with you everywhere,
Just about.
- I'd love to hear you play some time.
- I'll play now.
- Any requests?
- Oh, gosh!
I don't know. What about
Strangers In The Night?
# Feelings, nothing more than feelings
# Trying to forget my...
Oh, my God!
You know what these are for, uh?
- How you say in English?
- [sobs]
Testicles, testicles... testicles...
I am not an assassin.
Wait, you've made
a mistake somewhere...
Wait, wait, wait! That's it!
Horton! There's a Mr. Horton
at my hotel!
- And what are you?
- Orton. Orton. With no H.
Orton with no balls
if you lie.
Well, they're out this time.
Find a perfect partner.
What do I get? Charles Bronson.
- Medi-Date. They want locking up.
- Medi-Date exists?
- Of course.
- A mistake.
Of course! You have a gun, Maurice.
That's one of mine.
You should see his album.
There is a chance you'll be in it.
Yuk! This is horrible. Come on.
Beautiful, isn't it?
Absolutely beautiful.
What are you doing?
You said yourself
you want to take things further.
- Yes, but...
- You're quite right. My fault.
Just me being impatient.
Yes, everything's so...
So beautiful. Venice.
The Grand Canal. Your neck.
Jesus Christ! Drop me off, will you?
Over here. Quickly.
Okay, which hotel are you in?
Over there.
Gianni, Rossi! Pull him out of there.
Caroline, what is it with you?
One minute you want us
to do this business.
Of course I do!
I'm on triple commission.
Last chance. Do you want it?
Well, yes, obviously.
- You'll pay cash?
- Pay?
You can't have it
unless you pay cash.
I've never had to...
All right, but it had better be
pretty special hanky-panky if...
Hang on a minute.
What you're saying is,
you're only going to pay cash...
if I have sex with you?
You lechers make me puke!
[Orton wails]
He's down there!
He must have gone this way.
It's all right, really.
Now we've sorted out the muddle
and you're not Maurice,
I can manage, honestly.
Shut up!
You've got his information, he's got
yours. I'll get him to give it to you.
- I'll give it to you.
- I thought you'd say that.
I'd like to check out.
You've reserved for a week.
Are you sure?
100 percent sure.
Give me the bill, will you?
- Thank you.
- I won't be coming back here...
- S, signore?
- I'd like to check in.
- Are you sure?
- 100 percent sure.
Good girl.
That's the spirit.
Strictly business, right?
Eccoci qua. Signore Orton is here.
- Finally, thank you.
- You're welcome.
There he is. Signore Orton!
Your wife is here.
- That is not my husband.
- He is!
- You're Signore Orton?
- Mike Lawton!
I'm looking for Horton.
Maurice Horton.
Eccoci qua. I'll telephone.
No, take me to his room.
It's a surprise.
Speedboat! Speedboat!
Oh... carry on, tiger.
[groans and laughs]
Signore Orton. I have a big surprise
for you.
For crying out loud,
that is not my husband.
Is it really that difficult?
Maurice Horton.
Big misunderstood.
Sorry, excuse us.
- Sorry, boys.
- Maurice Horton.
So, what's the form? Do I pay now?
You don't carry that sort of cash?
What sort are we talking about?
How much do you think it's worth?
It's all new to me.
Okay, 100. 100,000 is about right.
100,000? No, I was talking pounds.
Well, so am I. 100,000.
Are you deaf as well as debauched?
Watch my mouth. 100,000.
100,000 for a bit of rumpy-pumpy?
Hort... Horto...
What the hell is Medi-Date?
What the hell are Veni Villas?
Hor... Hor...
Hor... Hor...
I live in England.
What do I want a villa in Venice for?
Look. I wouldn't let you
screw me for nothing.
[knock at door]
I'm afraid you just did, sweetheart.
- Horton.
- Yes.
- Horton. With a H?
- Yes.
- I have a big surprise.
- Look... Rosemary!
Thank you.
You've been a great help.
What on earth are you wearing?
What are you doing here, Rosemary?
What do you think
I am doing here, darling?
I was shopping in Sainsbury's.
Guess who I met by the frozen fish.
That girl who works in your branch.
Amanda Stainrod.
"Good heavens, Mrs. Horton,"
she said. "Back already?"
"Back?" I said.
"From Venice," she said, "how was it?"
I'm not going to stand in Sainsbury's
and tell the whole town
that their lord mayor
goes on holiday without his wife.
And that as far as I'm concerned,
he was at conference in Buxton.
Am I?
- "Very nice," I said, "It was very nice."
- Look, Rosemary.
So I went home and I thought,
why should Amanda bloody Stainrod
think that you're in Venice
while I think you're in Buxton?
"Simple, Rosemary," I thought,
"It's another woman."
What I should be telling
the whole town
is that their lord mayor is away,
doubtless at rate-payers' expense,
having a bit of Adriatic slap and tickle.
Look, Rosemary, you've got it all wrong.
[toilet flushes]
Now, this is going to look odd,
Oh, hello.
This is my wife, Rosemary.
Hi. Welcome to Venice.
Thank you. I thought you said
your wife was... staying in England.
I thought you didn't want her to know.
Well, the cat's out of the bag now.
Hello, I'm Caroline Wright.
Veni Villas Estate Agency.
Your husband and I... sorry!
His lordship and I were just finalizing
the payment details on a villa.
A villa?
He was keen to get his hands
on at least one of my properties.
Being in his position,
he wanted it kept hush-hush.
He's buying through us because
we guarantee absolute discretion.
Rest assured that I won't tell
anyone what he's been up to.
Maurice... is this true?
I suppose I'd better say my arrivedercis.
So, you'll arrange
for that specified amount?
In cash. Italian lire. Tomorrow.
Like we said.
The keys to Villa Romano will be yours.
I'll call you and we can make a date.
As it were.
Oh, Maurice! I'm sorry!
What a wonderful, wonderful surprise!
It suits you, that shirt.
You're one of those hit men, aren't you?
A killer.
A paid killer.
Like Edward Fox in "Day Of The Jackal."
Why should you want to kill me?
Oh, my God!
Look, it says Medi-Date.
It's a dating agency. You're supposed
to fall in love not get shot at.
- You don't ask questions in my job.
- It's time you started.
I suppose you're going to keep me here.
I know too much.
I know too much?
I don't know anything.
This Maurice Horton. This assassin.
He's gonna die, you know that.
I didn't until you just told me, no.
I'm not interested.
I want to look around a villa.
If I don't, I'm out of a job.
Dead men don't need jobs.
When Maurice Horton dies,
you'll know who killed him.
Well, yes, I do.
Okay. Can't we pretend that I don't?
That's not the way we do things.
Tell me. When this pig dies,
and he will die,
how can we guarantee your silence?
I mean, guarantee?
I tell you, there are two ways.
Numero uno.
We kill you also.
Silence, a guarantee, no?
Oh. What is number two-o? Duo?
- Due.
- Due.
You kill him.
Of course, we will pay you big money,
so it will look voluntary.
See, we are not so unreasonable.
So, they thought Mike Lawton
was Michael Horton? M. Horton.
Let's talk about this later.
I thought you'd choose something
more mysterious.
Lawton, a bit ordinary, isn't it?
It's meant to be ordinary.
Fine, but in the books
they're not so boring.
What are you suggesting?
Don't know. I'm not a killer.
I read one once where the...
You've got to learn
to give your mouth a rest.
This is secret business.
I don't want the world to know.
Oh, look, there she is.
That must be him.
God, he's no Clark Gable, is he?
I'll explain all that when I get back.
Don't argue about it! Do it!
Have you got a pen?
I want 100,000,
whatever that is in Italian lire,
to the Hotel Gabrielli
by 11:00 tomorrow morning.
If he is that rich, I don't suppose it
matters that he's married. 100,000.
That's what I was getting.
What, exactly?
That was my fee.
I can do the business when you do it.
Make sure the cash gets here.
You got his envelope, he got yours.
He got the target, you got me.
He's done the job for you.
You're joking. He couldn't do it.
- Why not? Any fool could.
- I'm not a plumber.
- It's a highly skilled job.
- Rubbish!
He's got the instructions.
All he needs is the nerve, and wallop!
He's got your man... and your money.
I've done it
and that's how much it costs.
- Have you got a hairpin?
- What?
Oh, yes.
Well... salute!
100,000 for my life!
He picks it up here tomorrow, boss.
Signore Horton is very... confident, no?
It would be very nice if we could take
his money as well as his life.
We could use it to pay you
when you kill the pig.
Mr. Scarpa, I can't shoot anybody.
I couldn't do it.
No, no, I know you could.
It's okay. No worry.
You use a bomb.
There it is.
Oh, come on!
I can't bear it.
"Miss Caroline Wright."
It was a woman.
- He killed a woman.
- The maid's coming.
Sleep well.
[distant music]
Patricia, I'm really sorry about
what happened earlier.
- Nearly happened.
- It's okay.
All part of the business, I expect.
Today, I've been stood up
by my date, a married man.
I've been aimed at by a hired killer,
had a gun held to my head,
been held captive against my will
by a strange man in a hotel room.
It's been one of the best days
of my life.
You can go now if you want.
You're not going to tell anyone.
No one to tell. Really, no one.
I'm missing and nobody knows.
When I'm not missing, nobody knows.
And often achieves a bulk of four tons...
Baby hippos.
The power in these ponderous jaws
is tremendous.
The life I lead is a mundane,
sick existence.
Lonely. You think you're lonely?
You should try being an assassin.
Don't meet many people
when you're an assassin.
Not for long, anyway.
Yes, but what a life.
- I bet you've some stories to tell.
- Who to?
I only needed this. I was gonna make
this the last big one then I'd get out.
- Buy a flower shop.
- A flower shop?
- You?
- Yeah.
That would be a change of direction.
- Now I've blown it.
- Get it back. He's done the work.
- It's your money.
- Steal it?
A bit below you, stealing?
- It's not as if he'll tell.
- Easier said than done.
Rubbish! We'll think of something.
Sorry to interrupt.
We're watching Horton!
Yes, sorry.
So, what's the plan?
- What?
- It's your idea. What now, boss?
It's easy.
We're stealing the money from him.
Right? Well, when is the best time
to do that, then?
At the perfect moment.
That's what this game is about.
Waiting for the perfect moment.
Here it comes.
Here we are, signore.
210 million lire.
- Thank you.
- Scusi. Telefono.
- Grazie.
- Prego.
What's the matter, Maurice?
- Can I put this in hotel security?
- S, Signore Orton.
- Horton.
- Orton.
Maurice Horton.
Maurice Horton.
Room 235. Have you got that?
Rossi, you see that case?
You go shopping.
Maurice Horton.
Please take note.
[sighs] Thank you.
It's identical, boss.
What's happening?
Are you ready?
Can I place this in... hotel security,
S, Signore Horton.
No, no, no, Orton.
- Orton.
- Orton.
- Room 310.
- Orton.
All you've got to do
is get in there and swap the tags.
We get the money and that Horton
shit, he gets what he deserves.
- Please take note.
- Right, thank you.
I'll pick it up later. Thank you.
You've never felt the need
for a woman's company?
Yes, maybe but it's always been
a nonstarter with my occupation.
I mean, it's a passion killer.
"What do you do?" "I shoot people."
Not exactly "Have a nice day at work."
Don't fret. Things will pick up
when you're a florist.
There's never been anything
really special?
Not really.
Nothing to set the world on fire.
Italiano. Attenzione!
Francese. Attention!
English. Attention!
Get the fuck out of here!
Non avvicinatevi. Lontani!
Grazie! Grazie!
Tu sei un genio.
What time did she say she'd ring?
She didn't. Perhaps she's decided not to,
perhaps she's forgotten.
- [phone]
- Yes?
- Mr. Horton. Got the money?
- Yes, I have.
- Where?
- Here.
- Bring it to the villa.
- Villa?
- Are you arguing?
- All right.
- When?
- An hour?
See you then, big boy. Arrivederci.
Arrivederci to you too!
Horton. 235.
- Thank you.
- Grazie.
You're holding a case of mine.
Melvyn Orton. Room 310.
You sure this is right?
Do you want to settle
your account now, sir?
What? No. No, later.
You're coming back, then?
Of course I am coming back.
I'm coming back, aren't I?
- Orton. 310.
- Thank you.
Thank you very much.
- Isn't that mine?
- You have to earn it first.
Lido, please.
The Lido!
You're not thinking of using that,
are you?
We're only doing this
so you don't have to use that again.
No! No!
- What?
- Not with her. What has she done?
She married the little shit!
Now press it!
Just wait till they've landed.
Maurice, is this it?
It's just...
Oh, honestly,
you shouldn't have done this.
Maurice, are you all right?
Just I don't like carrying
so much cash.
Oh, Maurice, it's just wonderful.
Maurice, she'll be here soon.
If it worries you so much, sit on it.
[swing creaks]
Press it. Press it.
Press it!
Press it.
- It's not working.
- We must be out of range.
- Take us in closer.
- We can't. It's too shallow.
- No!
- It's okay. It's just for show.
- Remember, you're in range.
- My money.
Don't worry. We take care for you.
Payment on delivery.
It's unbelievable, Maurice.
Maurice, help me!
Press it now. Press it now.
Press it now!
It's not working!
It's mine!
- It's bloody mine!
- It's not, it's mine!
- Who are you?
- Caroline Wright.
- You're dead.
- Dead?
Why haven't you killed her?
- Killed me?
- Killed her?
You did put the switch on, yes?
Yes, I checked it
when I swapped the tags.
You swapped the tags?
I swapped the tags!
Oh, my God! No!
Kill him!
Get the case, you idiots!
- Oh, my God.
- It's his. The money's his.
- Put the gun down.
- I've got them covered.
- His job, his money. You stole it.
- Stole it? I beg your pardon?
- It's from the bank. It's my money.
- It's mine.
Mr. Horton's just bought this villa.
I've got the papers.
- He came here to buy it.
- He came on Medi-Date.
- Medi what?
- Medi-Date. Check it out, sister!
Look! I got this money
from my bank in England.
- Put the gun down.
- We've come this far.
Put the bloody gun down!
Sorry about this. Let's turn around
and get out of here.
There's been a misunderstanding.
What are you doing? Wait!
What's Medi-Date?
Mad as a hatter, poor woman.
- You weren't bloody worth it.
- That's okay.
- Neither is the house.
- For 100,000? I can't go wrong.
Nobody's called for me, have they?
Mr. Marshall called.
He say, "You're farting around...
you dickhead."
Dick... head.
"You are a useless..."
"Waste of space."
"He out of patience. You out of job."
Okay. Bravo. Bravo.
What is it? What do I do
that sends every man packing?
I'm not packing because of you
but to stay alive.
The people I work for, they give you
a target, you kill him, or they kill you.
They'll never stop looking.
Doesn't matter where I go.
Actually, sir, I did get to see one.
It's not a villa, it's a big house
on the Grand Canal.
Umpteen bedrooms...
Nice, cozy cellar.
And it's empty right now.
- You weren't going to use that.
- From Miss Rambo!
It's my fault. Let me talk to them.
They're gonna blow me away.
They'll blow you away too!
They're not picky, these people.
Any minute, they're going to come in
and we'll end up a mess on the floor.
[knock at door]
Don't move.
"Mr. Lawton, congratulations.
"Three birds with one stone,
"so generous bonus included in payment,
"already credited
to your European account."
- Job's done? They paid?
- Santo Dio!
- Steady on.
- Sorry.
Thank you very much.
If anyone else I can do to make
your stay a happy one, call on me.
Why didn't you call me?
How much do they want for it?
Sorry. Three hundred...
And fifty...
Five... thousand pounds.
Right, get down
to the Banco Popolare, St. Mark's.
Take some ID and the cash will be there.
Able to manage that?
If you do that, keep the job.
[dead line]
If I can do that...
you can stuff the job.
Thank you, sir. Have a nice day.
Bahamas, please, and step on it.
Railway station, actually.
- Isn't that the estate agent girl?
- Is it?
What's she hanging around for,
looking so pleased with herself?
You'll have to change your name.
Something boring.
Miss Smith?
How about that, Miss Gladys Smith?
- How about Mrs. Charlton Black?
- Oh!
That's far too exciting.
Who's Charlton Black?
You don't have to answer straightaway.
- It can wait. Think about it.
- Why wait?
This is the perfect moment.
The answer's yes, Charlton.
It's Chuck, really.
The answer's yes, Chuck.
[engines roar]
Bloody hell.
It just needs a little work.
[mutters in Italian]
# I'm tired of being a yes man
Forever going wrong
# I'm gonna get my own back, the
world is gonna turn before too long
# Maybe now at last
I'm feeling strong
# And I'm waiting
for the perfect moment
# Looking for an end
to my wasted day
# The perfect moment
# Suddenly the world
don't look so gray
# Got to face the music
and settle up the score
# A change in my direction
I just can't walk this way no more
# Now there's a clear path
to your door
# You know too much about me
Too much to let you go
# So stay a while longer
Tell me things I really ought to know
# Gotta find a place
where love can grow
# I'm waiting for the perfect moment
# Looking for an end
to my wasted day
# I hope I find a way
a way to convince you
# That we've got a chance
to make a new start
# I've been searching hard
# Don't make no sense
to stay apart
# You're here in my heart
# The perfect moment #