Bridget Jones's Baby (2016) Movie Script
The 9th of May. Birthday.
How in hell did I
end up here again..
Fuck off.
Twelve hours earlier.
My birthday actually began
the way of all my birthdays.
Hello Darlin. Just ring
to wish you a happy bday.
Mom? It's six o'clock in the morning.
I now use FaceTime.
learned from Una. It's really great.
The purpose of FaceTime is that you do
not have to keep your ear to the phone.
What stupid of me. There you are.
Around this time, 43 years ago ...
I ate Indian lamb in an
attempt to chase you out.
A delivery of 23 hours.
It's down there never been more right.
It's a miracle, bring a child into the world.
- Here he comes.
The son of Penny-Husband Bosworth
sells his sperm on the internet.
You do not even need a man.
People have a great life without them.
Look at you.
Great apartment, nice job ...
Great condo.
- I'm going to hang up.
Congratulate Bridget here with her birthday.
Colin?
Congratulations, Bridget.
Dank je.
I love you sweetheart. Do not forget...
I count on you to help me
with my media campaign.
It is the church council elections,
not the American primaries.
The annual call from my mother
to put my ovaries to work.
Frankly I had thought that
I would have a child ...
with the love of my life.
But sometimes life gives more
superficial gratifications ...
and I was at least back to my ideal weight.
Good day, Ms. Bridget.
You look beautiful again today.
There was still life in the old dog.
Not much elated lately.
Hello.
But this year all these things
came more clearly to the fore ...
by earlier than thought to attend an event.
Hello.
How do you feel? Is everything alright?
And.
I can not believe he's gone.
His death tends to concentrate on
the Eastern European market models.
They found the black box but no bodies yet.
Curiously fitting that he died
as he ducked into the bushes.
We are here together to celebrate life ...
van Daniel Cleaver.
Daniel was a sweet and wonderful son ...
Damn. What's he doing here?
You know how he is,
always wants to do the right thing.
Is that his wife?
Was I ever get over the loss of Mr. Darcy?
he was my True?
Jesus.
A man with a lot of charm and charisma.
I'm a little emotional.
- I would like to ask forward his loved ones ...
to share some memories of Daniel with us.
Daniel could be very sensitive ...
He gave you the feeling of
being the only woman on earth.
I met Daniel in Moscow.
He went boating with me on the
Serpentine and Keats quoted from memory.
He could quote from memory Keats.
- Where you going, girl from Devon.
And what's in your basket?
- Where are you going, girl from Devon.
And what's in your basket?
You, young, nice girl,
straight from the farm.
I get a snack if I am asking?
He did it with everyone.
Is there anyone who would
like some more to say?
Say something for his mother.
Think of anything.
Daniel was a man ...
that many of us here has touched today,
me too.
O jee.
Here Daniel would have said,
"Shut up, Jones."
And he would be right,
because all I really have to say is ...
Dear Daniel, I will miss you terribly.
We'll all do.
Shall I call you?
- Yes please. Bye.
Bridget.
- Mark.
This is Camilla.
- Hello.
Bridget, an old friend.
Well, less ancient, more childhood friend.
New...
Good service, where you can say.
You go to almost that
of yourself looking out.
Already, new ...
Bye.
- Bye.
Maybe that's why Mark
Darcy and I never made it.
I always felt like a rattling,
hag, even when we were together.
I was not going to keep
stabbing at the negative things.
Nobody on my work knew at
least that it was my birthday.
Or how old I would be.
Surprise.
Congratulations, Bridget.
Or so I thought.
Who told you?
It's so hot. So many candles.
There is no law for the maximum number
of candles on a cake from a certain age?
Josh, you look at what Reuters
says about the attacks on Ramallah.
We're going to maybe live. And Laura ...
I may be a year older and still single ...
but I always found solace
in my job as a top producer.
How am I going to change the world today?
Our main topic is the
exclusive interview ...
with the Minister of
Foreign Affairs on NGochi.
How did you do that?
- NGochi.
NGochi.
- You're doing a good job.
I have practiced. NGochi.
It's trickier than you think.
And have 30-plus colleagues who are
not obsessed with children and married.
How are we going to celebrate tonight?
Night out with the group.
- Please tell me we have to group sex.
Group sex? Since we love.
I'm a crazy club Berwick Street.
A cake would be nice.
I think I've already passed
my sexual expiration date.
No. There are names for women like you.
You're a cougar. You're a MILF.
I'm not a MILF, I'm not a mother.
I am a spinster, I'm a OVILF.
Three minutes into the broadcast.
- It's called Voyeurz with a 'z'.
Say that Cathy sent you.
On Thursdays there is a Chinese buffet.
As much as you want.
But whose advice sometimes
a little too modern.
I am equally testing.
- Yes.
You let not accidentally freeze your eggs?
- No, that will have now boiled.
You know what, Bridget? This weekend...
we should go out and get a lot ...
"Binge drinking, a danger to society."
Do I need new legislation?
Bridge, Miranda, I said,
do not talk between the gongs.
Stick to the questions on the cards.
Miranda.
The Minister of Foreign
Affairs later in the studio ...
to talk about the crisis in Muribundi.
You can always try online dating again.
Recently I was on Tinder.
Half an hour later I have a trio with ...
Prince Andrew, Royal Representative
for Trade and Investment ...
You did that on purpose.
- ... Has written his first children's book.
He had a huge dick.
Live in de studio is
minister George Wilkins...
who has just returned from
the stricken Muribundi ...
Miranda, I am speaking in your ear.
Follow me.
... Where the murder of the
bloody dictator Charles NGochi ...
has led to a civil war.
- One shot, back to four. Four.
Minister, this was a military coup?
- It seems that NGochi's own generals ...
Hi, Tom. I can not talk.
How was Daniel's funeral?
- It was sad.
I can not believe he's gone.
It's sad. I can not believe he's gone.
I do not think his death
regretted having to.
His persecution of the Ubuntu
population led to genocide.
It is generally known.
- I know he had his flaws.
I know he had flaws.
- He could be a real asshole.
He could be a real asshole.
But I miss him. We all do.
- But I miss him. We all do.
He was certainly a colorful character
on the international stage ...
I admit, but I think the genocide ...
which caused the death of 10,000 of his
own people, men, women and children ...
he still puts on the dark side of history.
At least he was never boring.
One, two, three and ready.
Do you think democracy will
ever set foot in West Africa ...
Now that's NGochi dead?
Do you think democracy ever get in West
Africa foothold now that NGochi is deceased?
Well, it is finally an interesting question.
No more time.
- Complete.
Shortly, please, Minister.
- It's complicated.
A 'yes' or 'no'.
Make sure that the last answer.
- Let's hope so.
We conclude with.
Thank you for coming today.
Back to you, Toby.
Dank je, Miranda, Bridget.
Could you not behave like now
the new management team was here?
Are they the new management team?
That's Alice Peabody, the new brand manager.
Apparently 'Hard News' is too old,
too seriously ...
and she is the smiling assassin, which is
to dismiss anyone who is older than she.
Everyone is older than she. I have cans
of soup that are older than they are.
See them nevertheless agree with
their apps and their ironic beards.
Perhaps that could be one of
them having sex with Bridget.
What?
- Want to have sex?
Nee.
- Yes.
And so we go one weekend steps
all other steps Weekend late fade.
Bridget, right?
Yes, pleasant ...
- Team Talk morning.
We can get acquainted.
Nine o'clock in the morning.
We all have to start an
hour earlier in the morning.
Do you think she saw?
- Maybe not.
Are you sure you do not go out with us?
Thanks, but I can not let the old club only.
They now stay at home moms. That
would have been disappointed.
Sorry Bridget,
the babysitter has just run off.
Against it, girl.
Praise the Lord for the gay community.
What fears you today carry with you ...
I want you take those fears and to
them says they should opsodemieteren.
And.
Are you ready?
- Yes.
Bikes but, sexy girls. Bicycles.
I'm sorry, Bridget, but I have to cancel.
I did not tell you today,
but Eduardo and I are going to adopt.
Adopt?
What, baby?
- Yes, baby.
A GAYBY, in our case.
That's great news, Tom.
I'm going to Bogota to start
the paperwork so I have to pack.
Great, go ahead.
Happy Birthday. Lots of fun.
Congratulations.
- Thank's sweetheart.
Totally awesome.
And so I ended up here.
The last old tart in London ...
and my two great loves has
married one and the other death.
Exactly, new plans for my birthday.
I,
Bridget Jones'm done with love affairs ...
and will devote the autumn
of my life to hedonism.
Go only with free spirits like Miranda ...
and if it is serious,
I'm good way for a spa weekend.
Damn.
Beautiful shoes.
I did not tell you because
you would not otherwise get.
Really, it's been five years now.
Shake who attracted burqa off ...
after it went out with
your lover Mark Darcy.
Nonsense. I almost never think about him.
What you need is a good turn.
You just have an old-fashioned,
do-lie-and-think-of-England needed lovemaking ...
and festivals are sexual banga parties
like Sodom and Gomorrah with tofu.
You have to have sex with
the first man you meet.
The first man?
- I will not accept 'no'.
I'll get our backstage passes.
You get the map.
Maps.
I may be old and dressed wrong,
but I see there great.
Exactly why I have not done my heels.
Hello Babe.
May I?
Dank je.
Look at that. It fits.
Bridget.
Bridget.
Is that the wicked stepmother?
- Yes.
I'll go before I need
to clean the fireplace.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Good plan number two.
The way to a man's heart is not
through beauty, sex or love ...
My name is Jack.
but because of the ability
to fall filled in the mud.
Besides.
What's ours?
- Let's see.
And it's not just glam camping pears.
By putting on 'gl' it is not better.
By calling him 'Gladolf Hitler can not
suddenly forget all the bad things.
Damn.
NGochi.
NGochi.
NGochi.
It is half past three in the afternoon.
I would now vacuuming at home.
This is incredible.
We have to have a picture.
Pardon?
Would you like to take a picture of us?
Yes of course.
- Thank you.
Are you ready?
- What are you doing?
I wanted to take a picture.
I thought you wanted a picture.
- Yes, all of us.
We thought it would be nice to
have a picture of us backstage ...
between all of these known people.
I believe that the guy is 'Bargain Hunt'.
It would be nice if he would be able to.
- Quickly.
So you do not want me in the picture?
- Bit dimming, dude.
Is it really that difficult?
They leave everything nowadays backstage.
I do not know.
He's cute and he looks familiar.
He works according to me
at the Starbucks in Balham.
One, two, three, singing.
My God.
I know. It's that guy from Starbucks.
Crowdsurfing.
Miranda.
Miranda?
Miranda?
Hoi, Miranda.
God.
I have to admit, that was fun.
And you're right ...
I need a good turn ...
an old-fashioned,
do-lie-and-think-of-England ...
lovemaking.
I participate.
My God.
What are you doing in my yurt?
With all your clothes,
luggage and belongings.
It's like I walked in and claimed.
Wait, it's you,
the essence of the Black Sea.
Yes. Sorry.
Do I really believe that you
came by accident in my yurt?
While you're here, maybe I can help you.
He's the first man I met ...
and his yurt is a lot better than mine.
Bridget, where are you?
Bridget, I'm so drunk.
Bridget.
I zorb with Ed Sheeran.
God.
I just had sex with a complete stranger.
I'm just a whore.
No. I am an elegant older woman
who takes men for her own pleasure.
Or I'm just a crazy middle-aged woman?
Never mind.
Miranda?
Good morning.
It took six hours?
Which lasted six hours?
A puppet show where Aunt Bridget was there.
A six-hour puppet show?
- Hey.
Tell me, were the little dolls or ...?
Very nice size.
And he has ...
his doll made in your mouth?
My God. It feels like my days
for a puppet show are over.
I've had finger puppets.
And he called?
- So does that nowadays no more.
You take a singer at a music festival ...
but no story attached to it.
A doll without a story.
Take off the wings. That's for little girls.
Hey?
- Where the hell are you?
We drive through the countryside
on the way to your christening.
No that is not true. Why lie aunt Bridget?
Bridge, you should know that
after Tom had to cancel ...
Mark Giles asked as godfather.
- What?
What did he do?
Yes I know. You have nothing on that dick.
He did it without asking.
My God. Weather Mark Darcy.
The second time this week that I was in a
church bowl substituting as the spinster.
Where were you, damn it?
Sorry.
Good morning and welcome.
This is not at all embarrassing.
Mark Darcy and me at the altar with a baby.
That is beautiful.
Big beautiful smile. Look at me. Thank you.
Beautiful.
Now only the godparents.
How are you?
- Very good, thank you. And with you?
Good thank you.
Are you here with your wife?
What's her name again?
Camilla. No, she could not be there.
Are you here with someone?
- Not today, no.
Come on, it's not a funeral.
Can you laugh?
Give her otherwise but
a peck on the forehead.
I actually meant the baby.
Stunning.
I'll see you later, most likely.
Yes,
unless I'm getting away with this thing here.
Can this day be more painful?
Keep moving, walking.
Hello.
- Hello.
How are you?
- Good thank you.
How are you?
- Good.
Me too.
Well, goodbye.
- Bye.
A glass of wine.
- A whiskey, please.
Large glass.
- A double.
Dank je.
I ask you to join but you do not
seem real Gangnam Style person.
I've been there but a short time.
- True?
Gangnam.
What are we talking about?
- Gangnam dance.
Not the suburb of Seoul?
- No.
I'm not familiar with Gangnam, the suburb.
- It means "south of the Han River."
It was inhabited during
the Paleolithic period.
Sounds at once a lot less.
Now something for all
lovers on the dance floor.
Now we come to the erection area.
- Do not fucking erection during a christening.
Shall we get some fresh air?
Something fresher than here, I mean.
Of course.
You do not happen to have a cigarette on you?
- No.
I am 1891 days ago stopped.
Not that you keep it.
Since when do you smoke?
- I do not smoke.
It's been a tough time.
Maybe I'm nervous.
Why?
There's something in your hair.
I know that.
Thanks to one of my many godchildren.
Seems to be stuck.
And this is...
Cake?
- Soesje.
That is more than a dessert cake, I guess.
What are you doing? You are married.
- No that is not me.
I mean, I'm married. I divorce.
That's why she's not here.
You were no longer together
during the memorial service?
No, she was just there as support.
She returned to The Hague,
where she now lives, and I do not.
I'm sorry, Mark.
At this moment I regret that at all.
How will I ever get in here?
Again?
Mr. Darcy, wow.
Bridget?
I've missed you so much.
Are we on schedule?
I have a morning flight to Khartoum.
I'm sorry, Mark. But I had to go.
It probably sounds ridiculous,
but I was scared.
The fact that we turned to each
other in the last ten years ...
without ever reach the finish reminds me ...
maybe we did best by that time to stop.
Sometimes it's scary to
still be alone on my 43rd.
But you and I have this
once before experienced.
We both loved the fantasy of us together ...
But the reality,
as we both know, is different.
We both think of 100 reasons why
it did not work between us ...
but in the end it felt like you were
not there and I was usually alone.
No, I can not stay back
and make the same mistakes.
Should go further and create new ones.
I continue with this crazy training program.
I give myself four weeks
to slim down my thighs ...
to get my fat ass in a tight teen pants ...
which is clearly not intended
for women of a certain age.
All that fucking bike makes no sense.
I just came on.
First let's rule out some things.
You're not pregnant, are you?
Of course not.
A lady is always prepared and
I have this always in my purse.
You did not used vegan condoms?
Biodegradable and friendly dolphin.
When I'm slutty, I think it's a nice
idea that I'm helping the environment.
Jesus, Bridget.
I can still remember when you bought it.
That was several decades ago.
Sustainability dates say nothing.
Do you?
They were a gift. Just ask no further.
Fast flowing rivers and
foaming waterfalls ...
a babbling brook.
nevertheless Hurry up, Bridget.
How long, do you think?
I think that's a positive result.
Pregnant
I check it here.
- Do not shake.
You do hurt the baby.
- The baby is not in the stick.
I think this is the time ...
you jump for joy.
My God.
- You are pregnant.
I am pregnant.
- You're pregnant.
I am pregnant.
- You get a baby.
I'm having a baby.
I'm having a baby.
- Yes.
If you have footage of her as she
strikes a horse, then I want it.
Bridget, you want a child?
- I do not know.
I'm 43.
This could be that I get only chance.
One broken, expired condom I had believed.
But two?
You wanted it.
Maybe.
Can there even be a doctor?
My God. I am pregnant.
This is it.
Rather, who is it?
This is not like I thought it would be.
I always saw myself in 'OK!'
magazine with the man of my dreams.
Too much to worry about.
Including ...
Who was this man whom I had sex in a tent?
So you're 43 years old?
Any time with my wonderful
husband we were pregnant?
Does that matter?
Yes, it is such a special moment.
We want to know what time it
was so that we can cherish.
Can not you cherish both?
- Yes, we do.
But one of these days will be
more likely than the other?
Well, day 10, his birthday,
is a bit on the early side.
And day 16 after ...
- Anniversary dinner.
Oh yes, the ossobuco,
now I'm late again, is a little.
Are you sure there was not
a special moment between?
Yes, I'm sure. He was gone.
Which one would you think?
Hard to say. Both of them are the same.
It might even have been afterwards.
Sperm can live for days after ejaculation.
Would not you want to take a chance on me?
- No.
And after the initial scan?
Is to infer when conception occurred?
No. Call this number for an appointment.
And take your father with it,
if you know who it is.
Okay.
Just out of interest ... If anyone
doubts over who would be the father ...
You can take a DNA sample during
amniocentesis, which I recommend to anyway.
Since there is a higher risk
of mother to a geriatric.
Geriatrisch?
That is ridiculous.
- Indeed.
Unless you can apply at the same
time allowances and pensions.
That's hilarious.
It is called "news"
because it should feel new.
Otherwise, it was called "old."
Sorry.
The main stories from last night.
Earthquake in Asia, we have seen before.
Car accident on the M5 ...
We make 'old'.
The key need that must be improved.
I want to go throw it a lot.
- She's on the warpath.
Susan, the floor manager was fired.
- She's six months pregnant.
We have to see to grab the attention,
focus control the eyes on the screen.
I want to see headlines like:
"Do you get cancer from your bed?"
"You get Alzheimer freeze?"
- Oh my God. Is that right?
It has not been proven, but you miss the
point. The attention, nevertheless draws?
I want to 'Hard News'
by starting with a clear new goal.
About twelve weeks we have a
presentation at the London Media Show ...
and I'm looking for a dynamic,
innovative and focused person ...
to take the leading role. Volunteers?
Whatever happens, this job I have to keep.
Fascist boss should prove that I
even though I am a single mother ...
well can handle ironically bearded hipsters.
Someone?
Should you go to the bathroom, Bridget?
- No, I sign up as a volunteer.
Hashtag: "Let's do this!"
It's me. Turn on your TV now.
Look at your TV. Now. Put it on Channel 4.
Bridget, I've found him.
He is the dating website guru.
You have to trust the science.
Algorithms do not lie.
You fucking slept with a billionaire.
Tell me, Bridget.
What attracted you initially
to the billionaire Jack Qwant?
It was his face or body? Big dick?
- I'd do it with him, obviously.
If I were you I would not tell either.
You only need one DNA sample from one of
them and then you can exclude the other.
What should I say to Mark?
"Hi Mark, I know I left dormant ...
but you do not know what blood,
semen or old nails lying around? "
How to get in touch with Jack?
And.
He is a tycoon, damn it.
Can not you just call him.
I just figured out how to win
the favor of the new boss ...
and may exclude one of the fathers.
I must say, Bridget,
I am very impressed by the next guest.
Relevant, approachable, incredibly fuckable.
Well done.
Welcome to CSI Hard News.
One minute about this VT.
- Bring in five, are ready. Thank you.
Thanks darling. If you want to piss off now,
that would be fine.
Jack, this is Cathy. It sets you up.
Hi, Cathy, nice to meet you.
- I think of a simple purple eyeshadow ...
to emphasize your eyes
and maybe a little rouge?
Just kidding.
- What are you funny.
You've got quite a gray hair.
Oh, Jesus.
- So. Ready.
Frankly, there is a very gray piece.
I'll just grab them?
Yes, my hair is full of gray hair.
- Well, that's settled.
Jesus Christ.
- All gone, great.
The nails of this handsome guy should
not be cut best, do not you think?
These hands have not yet gone
through a lot of work, do you?
No, I'm a mathematician.
- They are silky smooth.
Tell me, Jack. Do you like Chinese food?
Jack, I will take you to the set.
- Fine, thank you. Sometimes. Thank you.
I do not think she has applied makeup.
- It is well. You're looking radiant.
We start in five, four ...
And do not forget to turn.
And Miranda, on cue.
- Jack Qwant is uncomfortable.
Raised by one single mother in Baltimore,
he made the matchmaking website Qwantify ...
and he claims to have found
an algorithm for love.
Today he's here to tell us all about his
number one bestseller Qwantum Leap '.
It's great to have you on our bench.
- Thank you. It's nice to be here.
We quickly talk about your new book,
but let's first talk about romance.
Qwantify has found the
true love of millions.
About to two.
- Did it work for you too?
If I answer that we are
going to talk about the book?
Maybe.
Can not you try to fuck with
him during the broadcast?
This is amazing. Tell her to flirt more.
Some people were first in
love with Farrah Fawcett.
My first love was an algorithm.
- And we lost him.
If he continues to talk about algorithms I go
over to the VT of cats that look like Hitler.
Back to four.
He avoids the question.
Get him off of mathematics.
Ask him if he has a relationship.
For someone who's so good at linking ...
there is someone special in your life?
Except Lady Mary of 'Downton Abbey'?
Can we talk about the book?
Hitler put the cat in.
- Do not react so elusive.
It is clear that you have everything.
Why did you choose not family?
Why did you choose not family?
- No children.
And no children?
Brilliant. Zoom in on four.
And on four.
- I love it.
I love children ...
but have to be always found frightening
the idea of self-father.
That's why I'm attracted to algorithms.
- Set the Hitler cats.
They are very rational, reliable and
predictable anything that is not a child.
Can you have children?
Are the soldiers?
Yes, I think so.
The barracks are used regularly.
Really?
- Yes.
For someone with an alleged
algorithm for love ...
Is not it strange that
you've never found anyone?
I think to find something that
you actively have to seek.
I've been too busy so I did not ...
What about the bloodline of the Qwant family?
- And the bloodline of the Qwant family?
Are there unknown secrets?
- Sexual disorders?
Sorry,
I do not know where all this is going ...
but I must tell you that I can
attract the wrong kind of women.
That is amazing.
Thank you wanted to share with us.
Bridget, what are you doing?
You will not believe what
crosses for weirdos my path.
Really?
- Get up.
Tell me what she does.
Ask him about algorithms.
- This must be the last question.
As a final, algorithms.
- Yes.
What attracted you the first time in them?
- The logic and ...
Beautiful, Jack Qwant,
thank you sat on my couch.
I hope you've had just as much fun as I did.
- Jesus.
To the extent that. Bye.
That was amazing.
- I feel that I know you, not the show.
Are you on Tinder?
- What?
Then we have not met.
- No, okay.
Hey, you here.
- Hi.
Good to see you.
- Also good to see you.
I wanted to look up to say hello,
but you know how chaotic live TV.
There are easier ways to get in touch
with me except me on national TV ...
ask about my sperm.
- What? No, that's not what ...
I'd like to hear from you.
I was disappointed when I came
back tomorrow and you were gone.
Were you?
- We had a brilliant night.
I loved you. Until I became a piece ...
of 50 gnantste talk
show moments of all time.
Sorry. Yes that...
How should I explain.
I am pregnant.
- Wow. Okay.
It's ...
much better than you are mentally unbalanced.
I'm about twelve weeks pregnant.
Okay. Right.
So you mean that it was the music?
- Yes.
It's quite a surprise. Yes but...
it goes well with me,
you should know that ...
I want nothing from you.
Besides a complete DNA check and an
assessment of my medical records.
I just do not want you to come out.
And I feel a little silly.
Humiliated, actually. Yes, I'm humiliated.
I would like to retire politely.
Mr. Qwant, will you please sign my book?
Oh God. I have not even told him
that he can not be the only father.
Christina.
- I find this amazing book.
Katie Couric, I need to talk to you.
What appears to be like this Jack DNA?
I want that Jack is the father?
I know Jack disagrees.
And what if it is Mark Darcy?
Jesus. I have to confess to him that
I was a whore with dolphin condoms.
Good.
So it goes well with the baby?
- Perfect.
You see?
- Oh my God. Is that him?
And all is well?
- As fit as a fiddle.
Listen.
Look at that.
I recorded it for you. Then you look.
So glad you are going
to do the amniocentesis.
Hi there.
Is that your ear or your foot?
You have very big feet.
Oh, and you swing already.
You're the best I've ever seen.
I promise I will do my best.
So just keep safe and cozy inside ...
while I clean up the mess here trying.
And hopefully...
What the fuck is that?
- This is the needle for amniocentesis.
We print it in, take a little amniotic
fluid out and test it for abnormalities ...
and also the DNA sample you want.
There is a very slight risk of
miscarriage so you must lie still.
We do not want the needle comes in contact ...
- What?
No. I do not take that risk.
He is gigantic.
He comes firmly to the other side out again.
Come, I'll take you home.
Your mother will love it.
- Promise not to tell her?
Not yet.
- No, of course. I promise.
I'm really sorry that I was
the father who does not know.
Do not act so stupid.
I know plenty of people who can be anyone.
- So you're not disappointed?
Do not you think I have it on Jerry Springer?
- No, I'm just happy.
I'm not sure if you are mine or those cute
lieutenant colonel of the bowling club.
It was just a joke.
You have my feet.
I've always had dainty feet.
Just tell the truth, Bridget.
There you are always great.
Mark, I have some exciting news.
I have to tell you something funny.
Mark, I'm pregnant.
Gentlemen and ladies.
There is only one crime committed
today and that is the following.
To use the laws of one country to destroy
the freedom of expression of another.
A cynical politically expedient to take away
the right of these courageous young women ...
to speak the truth about
the country they love.
You love might not like their
music and I can not blame you.
They do not have the hang of the most basic
principles of musicality the basis of melody ...
but this is the land of Shakespeare,
Orwell, Lawrence ...
I had forgotten how good he
is with that wig and gown.
... Against every country, every ruler,
every despot, we will be here in the UK ...
women always defend and protect
that selfless and brave ...
their freedom have risked
their lives and possibly ...
to tell the truth.
The court will now be suspended
and the matter will be felled ...
Power to the Poonani.
- Jesus.
I look forward to the return
of the good old genocide.
Asked.
How do you do that?
I did not expect to see you again
after conditions at baptism.
Shit. He dived straight in.
No, I understand. Maybe flattery works.
You were very impressive net.
- Thank you.
While dealing with them the last
month has raised a little sympathy ...
the totalitarian dictator who
silenced them wants to impose.
Okay, just kidding.
Next time I will laugh harder.
There is only a limited number of
times that someone can listen to ...
absolutely not catchy "Menstruation,
castration, Liberation."
Mark, that's hilarious.
Please.
Thus.
- So, Mark.
And.
The gardens look beautiful. For autumn.
- Yes.
Is that a chestnut tree?
- Bridget.
I am pregnant.
Okay. Well, congratulations.
How can I help?
I'm three months pregnant.
You mean the baptism?
And.
Excuse me a moment.
This is perhaps the most beautiful piece of
information that I received in my entire life.
I have no expectations about how it goes.
I just thought you should know.
No, of course.
I mean, how do you feel? Are you happy?
- Yes that's me.
So much has happened in the last ten years.
Much has changed.
I mean, you've been married, and I am ...
have been on some distant
holiday destinations.
But ... So there's Jack.
I mean ...
- I know.
But now I can not feel sad about it.
God, how can I tell him now.
State of emergency. Can not sleep.
Thoughts go round and round in my head.
It is really strange that you can do
something so complicated and important ...
when growing a baby or invade
Iraq without any instructions.
All the alcohol I drank
the last few years ...
the baby will give the
fetal alcohol syndrome.
These things I can do.
Mark talk about Jack ...
and risk that I hurt him so
that I can not live with myself.
Mark did not tell Jack,
but I can not go on with it.
both tell them that the other is the father
and the one who is not the father stripped ...
Oh Jesus.
Nobody tell you something and run off.
Hello?
- Hey, the father of your child.
Jack?
- Yes, how else?
Come on up.
Damn. He probably has hired a team of
detectives Google Earth to find me.
Okay, do as normal as possible.
Come on in.
- Okay.
You've found it.
- Try it, see if it fits.
Wow.
I did not expect to see you.
- I did not expect to come.
I am to be rejected not used. Twice.
I hope you cake in that bag.
I thought a lot.
This whole baby situation has shocked me. We have
printed an entire relationship in one night ...
and have beaten all about
to start a family phase.
We even had no real second date.
If we had done that,
then I would have taken to Ottolenghi.
You would have got grilled
salmon and pine nuts salsa.
Incredibly and healthy.
And we would have come back here ...
have great sex ...
and the next day we send
each other dirty messages.
I would not have to do on a second date.
Why not. You let me do it on the first.
And then we would witness a
naughty weekend on the coast ...
I would prove my manhood by
winning a stuffed animal ...
on the pier.
But I really wanted the big Scooby-Doo.
- Oh, no one wins.
There are coconuts stuck.
What are those for?
- To offer my apology.
We had our first fight.
I was not flirting with the waitress.
She means nothing to me.
And then I'd ...
Swedish furniture bought to assemble.
If we get through this, we can do anything.
- Everything.
I would be pathetic if your neck
is blotchy when you are nervous.
And I know you would be the
best mother to my child.
Oh no, can not fall in love
with a radiant new American.
Tomorrow I tell them both, definitely.
I just wanted to know how
to recover the presentation.
Yes, I'm full,
I blender me all the way through.
I trust you, Bridget.
You must do well. Do you understand?
100 percent. You can count on me.
- Beautiful.
Is it going well?
- Yes.
Big party. I'm glad to see you both again.
We also Gianni.
- Great news, huh?
Cheers.
I thought of Jack.
If it's a boy, named after my grandfather.
It's a good strong name. You can trust Jack.
Yes, one for the list.
Op Jack.
So this is dad, I suppose.
Glad you're here.
It is a unique and wonderful moment.
Dr. Rawlings,
I wonder if you can give me a little favor.
So this is dad, I suppose. Nice to meet you.
Glad you could be there.
This is a unique and wonderful moment.
Before we begin, you want to know the sex?
- We should be prepared.
I do not know.
- It is a boy.
A boy.
- Our boy.
My boy.
Okay, now I really need to tell them.
Start with Jack.
Invited him for the big scary work
presentation and will then explain.
Welcome.
In a digital age where every cell phone
has a camera, we're all broadcasters.
"Hard News"
is working with the London Media Show ...
so you can use your smartphone
to create your own news channel.
Download the 'Hard News'
app and send directly to our studios in ...
where Miranda awaiting our first
live simultaneous broadcast.
Hello everyone,
live on the London MediaShow.
Welcome to the new look of
'Hard News' studio.
We are now live and yes
our viewers broadcast.
Now we go to the Grampians ...
where Adam Wollaston leads a team of
Venture Rangers to the summit of Ben Nevis.
Hello, Adam Wollaston.
- 'Hard News' sucks.
Jezus.
- O jee.
Let's news story but quickly behind us.
Technische storing.
It's obviously never been easier
to email or text the show.
You only have to look at
"Hard News" or simply H.
Because...
Damn. What's he doing here?
Because we believe in 'Hard News' ...
We believe we are ready and ahead ...
by asking the questions that
the world wants to answer.
Turn around.
Thank you. Okay. Career collapsed.
Both men in the same room.
What can go wrong there now?
I hope you do not mind me
suddenly stand before you.
No.
- Well done. It was bad...
Yes.
- Technically skilled.
Mark, I want you to meet ...
Sithrnthnthn Ariartr.
Arirenata's regional manager
in DTC Technological Solutions.
Or not, Ari Sinatra?
Hoi.
- Hello.
What was it doing? What did you think?
I have four voicemails David
Cartwright I do not dare to listen.
I'll be right back.
- You call that a presentation?
I doubt whether I have the right people
around me because you are not ...
I'm sorry, Alice.
- Sorry is not good enough.
Excuse me. Look at me when I talk to you.
- I'm sorry, but I ...
What?
Bridget, I want you to meet Jack Qwant.
He's pretty special.
I read a profile of him in The New Yorker."
- Okay, yeah.
We know each other -. Yes, we certainly do.
Well done.
- Why have not you introduced him?
He's brilliant. He represents the
punk rock band that is delivered.
That's right.
- Yes. I knew well.
Hi, we have been too fleeting acquaintance.
I lead the data management
for most of Daventry.
Fantastic that you get on so well
together because you have a lot in common.
we will find a quieter place?
- Yes, why not. I booked at Gianni.
Beautiful.
- That sounds good.
I think this must serve, Arinuth. Sorry.
Do you really think math is ...
how you described it in your book?
helps to analyze behavior which
was first hidden from scientists?
My dating algorithm helps people to
find their love, not to replace them.
Oh no, it's a great idea.
- Have you ever tried?
You're single?
- Yes, I think so.
How did you meet?
Yes.
- It is...
It's a funny story.
A few months ago, on the fourth of the month,
I met Jack at a music festival.
Okay.
And we got on well and had
some sort of relationship.
And next week, on the eleventh of the month
at the baptism of Judes baby to be exact ...
after we had quite had consumed some alcohol
Mark and I the same type of relationship.
And this is the funny part, I think.
These relationships ...
the resulting life can
in my belly you're both.
I know I should have told it
before but I have simply not done.
You both looked so happy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you just
say it may be the baby of both of us?
So you have no idea who our father is?
I know, it's all very confusing. Sorry.
So how do we choose to do this ...
the most important at this time is this.
Bridget,
I'm not just pretend it's not a shock.
I want you to know that you're
right despite the circumstances.
The baby is the most important.
Who knows, this could be a great adventure.
I'm afraid I have to go. I have a meeting.
Sorry.
- Mark ...
Gianni, we can get the bill?
- Subito.
And if I thought that was awkward ...
how would receive the news is on mom's
election campaign for city council?
We are half an hour ago already begun.
Where were you?
You said it was an emergency.
"The Gazette" want to make a family portrait.
What are you wearing?
Oh my God. Bridget, you are ...
- Yes.
Why did not you tell?
- I did not mean to upset you.
Why would that happen?
Oh no, Bridget. Who is the father?
It's not Mark? Oh, say he is.
- There is a probability of at least 50 percent.
A 50 percent chance?
- Mark of the really nice American named Jack.
No, Bridget. An American?
Did you have a threesome?
Ms Jones.
Here, take this and pretend all is well.
- Everything is good.
Ms. Jones, we can ...
- This is a nice place for you.
Are you ashamed of me?
- No honey. It's just the circumstances.
I struggle with a high function.
If you like vote Pamela Jones family values.
Bye.
It is not the fifties.
Look around you.
The two lesbians from number 32 just adopted.
If you look at things does not change
you lose your valuable election ...
and maybe your daughter.
Bridget, how nice to see you.
Are you...?
- Yes indeed.
How beautiful.
We thought you had grown back thick.
I am now the Mary Magdalene of Central England.
I have Mom and Mark Darcy estranged from me.
I'm like a tropical insect that catches
men to conceive and then eat them.
The question is: Mark will show up and
participate in this polyamorous family?
The first pregnancy course.
Spannend, summer?
- Ja.
You look great.
Hello.
So glad you came.
- Yes I agree.
I took tasty tea.
- Thank you.
Great to see you, dude. But there
is hell of a lot of caffeine in tea.
I brought you juice.
Thank you. Shall we go inside?
Why not?
- Certainly. I will carry you.
Thank you.
- Can I carry your phone?
Dank je.
And who are you?
I'm Bridget and this is Jack ...
and this is Mark.
What single.
You are today our second set of the same sex.
No, actually we're ...
- Absolutely.
The baby gift will make us feel complete.
You are then the surrogate mother?
- Indeed yes.
I help this great bunch to
come out of their dream.
Mark is here very nervous about it.
Completely new to you, anyway, lamb chop?
Like all dreamers,
we are on the road obstacles.
How do you like your placenta?
- Quickly.
Are you okay? Are you sure?
And of course can have many benefits
massage during our pregnancy.
Can we mention a few?
- It relieves stress and gives good hormones.
And should be avoided in
one risky pregnancy ...
For example, if there is a geriatric mother.
Right, great, someone has delved into it.
Do you want to continue?
- No, I have let Jack go.
I think he 's will survive.
- That's sweet of you.
That's why I love you, my little teacup.
What if we ask the right questions
and apply the law of mathematics ...
so the science of courtship
can be determined?
Are you compatible?
Yippee. It is a match.
Can I request an appeal ...
in the case of Her Majesty's
Government and Saddiq Al Bashir.
As Your Honour may know,
Mr. Al Bashir has lost.
So everything's okay?
- Yes, it is this combination ...
pickles, anchovies, banana and Pringles.
So it's really ...
- It's air.
Right, so, in the future regular Pringles,
not hot, spicy barbecue?
Or maybe no Pringles. Try that.
Is everything alright? Bridget is in order?
- Yes, everything is fine.
She's in there with ... That's Dr. Pringle.
He tests her blood. This is interesting.
It is a new technique of Oslo we tested.
That's Norwegian.
It does not matter. I know about Jack.
- Thank God. Why did not you say?
It's okay. He has her completely reassured.
I'm sorry, I got your messages.
I was in court.
Hi. It does not matter.
There you can put anything.
Which you need to include.
It may be your job.
No worries. I help her.
- Yes, I can see that.
Okay, you need to relax.
We must do this together.
In Peru at the "Um Bat Do ', fatherhood is a
shared responsibility among many tribal members.
Unfortunately, we do not live in Peru.
I live in Ealing.
Negative energy is so bad for the baby.
Stop. You both. This is not a competition.
She's right.
We must let this toxic energy from the room.
It will only take a moment.
What is it? Come on, buddy.
Why are you so angry?
You know what? I'm not your buddy.
I know nothing about vibes or negative
energy or prenatal flatulence ...
and even less about algorithms ...
so I will confess that the laws
of attraction are a mystery to me.
In fact,
Bridget defies understanding in general.
Despite, or perhaps because of the
appalling litany of disasters ...
I've seen the last 40 years,
I know Bridget pretty good ...
and all these years I
have a lot to give her.
That can defy automated reasoning,
but I can not help it.
Nothing you can do about it?
You could stay close rather than
to save the world with your mobile.
I make her happy, Mark.
I suppose your algorithm
predicts that you are destined.
Indeed. The fact that you "tried t decade
and failed, tells me that you're not.
No ...
- I will not argue with you.
We must think of Bridget and the baby.
In sickness and in health,
fate brought us together.
It was no accident, it were condoms.
- How do you mean?
That ridiculous dolphin friendly stuff
from the bottom of Bridget's bag.
Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking
about. When Bridget and I did it, I was ...
I was not dressed for the occasion.
None Mark today?
- No.
We should thank one person who
was willing to fight for us ...
when no one else did,
and we say to those ...
with all our hearts ... "
"Freedom of expression!"
Bridget, we are back in the air.
I still can not believe Mark has gone away.
It's not really his fault.
Let's just hope it's Jack, right?
Be honest, it could be worse.
He's damn good.
He's richer than God and his
doll has a pleasant size.
That's right,
and on paper we are very similar.
But how do you know?
- You just have to have confidence in it.
You just have to ask yourself:
'Do I see myself to be old ...
with him and not with Mark Darcy? "
There it is. Here we go.
The first few months,
they see only black and white.
This will contribute to the
promotion of spatial awareness.
Or early onset of motion sickness.
I bought this for him. A bouncer.
Only no idea where we are going drop.
In that respect it ...
here is quite tight, do not you think?
It's homey.
I've been thinking.
It would be nice if we moved in together.
Do you think we are ready?
I'm just tired of living in
hotel rooms and airplane lounges.
We could be a family. I, you and him.
What do you think about it?
What if it's not yours?
- What?
What if it turns out that the baby of Mark?
Well,
that will certainly change some things.
Is that what you want? That is Mark?
Are you in love with him?
That I've been in the past.
And me?
That might, some day.
Bridget, I'm not completely honest with you.
Mark thinks the baby is not his,
and I let him believe it's mine.
That's why he's gone.
Why would he think that?
- Because I took care of that.
Because I wanted you for myself.
We could be so good for each other.
97 percent.
- On paper.
But love does not happen on paper.
Sometimes you love someone
because he is not the same as you.
And sometimes you love someone
because it feels like home.
I have to find Mark.
Hello, Pierce.
Bridget, I'm trying to get Mark.
He has just returned from a trip, Bridget.
He's on his way home.
Hoi.
To go about eight weeks.
You do not really need them.
They are only good places for car seats,
then they are only in the way.
You're quite capable of
doing this on your own.
I succeeded.
Weight: What does that matter?
Calories: 3,100. Mainly potatoes.
Alcohol: 0. Torture.
But going only four weeks.
You know what? I can do this on my own.
We can do this together.
One of the advantages of being pregnant
is not your spinster need to feel more.
Because of that little
miracle that grows within you.
Hello.
Your mother is organizing a
Christmas party as a political race.
It's like the G8 summit with Scotch eggs.
Be brave. Go inside.
Hello Sweetie.
- Hey.
Sorry, I did not think anyone would be.
I'll go upstairs.
No, nonsense.
Una has once again let print all posters.
You have inspired me.
- Still so long.
However, you were right.
This place is full of single mothers,
single fathers, bisexuals, surrogates.
And they are all so sweet and so normal.
I even have two gay men in the team.
- No, thank you.
Who would have expected now?
- Everybody.
I'm so proud of you, honey. Do you know?
What you do is not easy,
but if anyone can it's you.
That child is the happiest guy on
earth to have you as his mother.
He will have the love of
millions father at his side.
Come on. We need to go campaigning.
Out of the way. A single mother is coming.
Laura, Josh.
We must give six minutes to General Lu Tong.
It's big news.
- Yes, Alice wants to do the interview.
She has a heading
"end of the world on Tuesday?"
That could be good if we lose Lu Tong.
Lu Tong continues.
Six minutes. We go for it.
General Lu Tong, hello.
Sorry that this is so chaotic today.
Thank you for coming.
In two minutes we go live.
Miranda would probably start with
what is happening in Naypyidaw.
On three.
- Miranda, back to General Lu Tong.
Keep asking questions.
- I'm asking you again, General Lu Tong ...
take responsibility for the
violation of human rights ...
performed by your own government?
He is on the rack. Shows which sweat.
Focus, four.
- I'm sorry, I can not answer that.
Can, or would you not, General Lu Tong?
On balance, I recommend "can not", given
General Lu Tong I've found in the lobby ...
and his driver is live and answer
questions about Far Eastern geopolitics.
Not? Any comments you want to make
on the use of sexual torture ...
by your own troops?
Ask him about the traffic in London.
- The traffic in London, General Lu Tong?
Do you have anything to say about it?
No comment. Unbelievable.
That's what General Lu Tong concerns.
See you after the break.
Well done.
Unfortunately, you leave me no choice.
It is actually illegal to
fire someone who is pregnant.
Therefore, I do not absolve her.
I push her through gross incompetence.
Bridget is the beating heart of this show.
Why would you want to fire her?
How about 't interviewing one driver?
Using define a television interview or a
guest might be the father of her child ...
and responsible for the
transmission of six nude butts?
It does not matter.
It really does not, Richard.
I wanted to quit anyway. Probably.
Believe it or not,
I was just like you when I started here.
Some firmer and much less makeup,
but I would also leave my mark.
But I want no part of your development.
I have anyway not the right hairstyle
and do not drink cocktails in jars ...
or post pictures of my lunch on Instagram.
I think it is not modern to want to
make something that is worthwhile.
But I would rather be old and unemployed ...
then be part of a show that is meaningless.
Maybe when my son is old enough,
integrity will be popular again.
What have I done?
It is good to fight for your principles
if there is no food in the fridge.
How hard can it be to find another job ...
if you are just fired
and nine months pregnant?
What is going to happen,
I'll buy you the damn Bugaboos.
Birthday?
God, my brains are to perish.
First nummertje?
Welcomes card. Please contact your bank.
Nee.
Damn.
I'm so sorry.
Everything is suddenly against. Right.
Nee, nee.
Okay, new pre-birth planning.
I, Bridget Jones,
best mother will be in the world.
I will try to remember you in a store ...
or you stop a machine like
that woman did with her cat.
I know I promised I'd have before
you would arrive everything in order.
But the truth is, I did not,
but we can do this together ...
because fairy tale princes no longer exist.
Or is it?
Hoi.
Bridget. Jesus, what are you doing?
You're all wet.
Yes, I've locked myself out,
and I leave my bag ...
I forgot my keys, phone, my mind.
What are you doing here?
It turns out I can always find time to
save the world, but you are my world.
I thought you were back in Candida.
You know very well that they called Camilla.
- Camilla.
I came to your house, and she was there.
She came to pick up her belongings.
She went back to The Hague.
I took her to the airport.
Dank je.
Bridget...
You know I'm emotional statements ...
find difficult.
But the truth is ...
Why my legs are warm?
My waters have broken.
- Jesus.
Sorry. I grab a towel.
But you're just exhausted
in two or three weeks.
That is a contraction.
We need to get to the hospital.
Sure.
- Let's get your car.
I came by taxi.
- Damn.
How I should have know?
- No, not you. Contractions.
No, we take your car.
- It can not. The keys are in my bag.
Five, six, seven, eight ...
- Puffing, breathing and counting.
... Nine, ten.
- I hear you doing it?
Which you need to include.
It can be the work.
No do not do that.
- Hey, what the hell is that?
That's very sweet,
but we have to call a taxi.
Right, what do we do?
I'll think of something.
Watch out.
- Out of the way.
We go to the hospital.
We're going to make a baby.
Let's go.
God, this is ... It's really happening.
I'm going to become a mother.
Maybe I'm too old for this.
Wait, wait. Why do you stop?
A margarita with onion and pineapple.
Number 17, thank you.
What?
Who is eating onion with pineapple, huh?
Some people do not track, right?
Yes. Okay. Here we go.
Do not worry, Ms. Bridget.
We ensure that you get there.
Around this time there is no traffic.
It's okay, right?
Vagina. Power to the vagina.
My God. Unbelieveable.
A protest for women's rights.
Jesus, not now.
- These are the women I defended.
That diabolical Russians.
Hold my hand firmly.
We really have got to get there.
We need to get there.
Well, we're going out. Ready?
- No, I think not a good idea.
Nee, Bridget... Bridget.
Call Jack.
- I'll be chasing you with the bags, Mr. Mark.
And I call Mr. Jack.
It's all right, Bridget. We'll find something.
- I can not walk I think.
That does not matter. I'll carry you.
Good God, Bridget. You're huge.
- I can not help it.
I think my lungs have exploded,
but that's not important.
My contractions start again.
I'm going to have the baby on the street.
- I have an idea.
We rest ten count and walk ten count, right?
- Okay.
It's not far.
- No.
I still think 2.4 kilometers.
- I do not believe...
Are you okay?
It's better if I do not talk much.
- Yes.
Okay, I'm here. I can take it now.
I got you.
- Thank you.
Jesus.
You must do this with two men.
- I'm here.
Get her.
- I got her.
Jesus. Do not drop it.
Just inside.
- This way?
Yes, there.
- No, this way.
Okay, but wring.
Are you succeeding?
- Get her.
Pressures.
- I press already.
Push.
Closer.
No, not a problem.
We're out.
- Sister.
Carol wheelchair.
One two Three.
- Yes, here. Thank you.
Is everything alright?
Who of you is the father?
- I.
Right.
Breathe out the pain.
Beautiful.
- Hey.
I wondered how many fathers we would get.
A full house. Bingo.
Bridget, how do you do this? Painkiller?
No, you can. A positive mental
attitude is stronger than a drug.
Good? Think of the pain away.
- Nonsense. No, I want everything.
Gas, air, injections, morphine.
Bridget, remember your yoga.
- To hell with yoga.
I totally agree.
It's supposed to be relaxing ...
but I'm busy all the time to tighten
my sphincter so I will not fart.
Can you turn around?
I need to check your cervix.
You're doing very well.
If so. Turn quietly to me.
Just a little research.
Okay, ready? Research ... starts now.
Yes. Nice nice.
You already eight centimeters.
That is beautiful.
You can now no medication.
What?
- You have too much access.
Well done. Here comes another contraction.
I'm not sure what you have
in mind to watch from here.
My ex-husband said it looked
like burned his favorite pub.
Your choice.
Maybe Dad can take a damp cloth for Mom.
I know.
It's okay. You can do this.
Think of the pain away.
Asshole.
just think the pain away.
- Get out, both of you.
Where are you going?
I've changed my mind.
I've changed my mind.
You can do this.
You can do it. We do this together.
Remember what life has brought so far.
You've turned into catastrophes triumphs ...
with your pure, joyful, indefatigable,
contagious zest for life.
You have this pregnancy almost
accomplished on your own ...
despite one insane mother, oppressed women and
cheating boyfriends who do not deserve you.
Just a moment.
Just a moment, dear,
and we see your beautiful baby.
What if it's not yours?
- I still love him, just like yours.
As you were, are, and always will be.
I think you can get a better look at this.
- Thank you.
I take it from talking about here.
Think of the pain away.
You pressed a very Mensje from your vagina.
I want to see them do away thinking.
367 of the votes ...
the winner Pamela Margaret Jones.
- Pamela, honey, it's Bridget.
Not now, Colin.
- It's about the baby.
I hereby certify that
Pamela Margaret Jones ...
I'm so sorry. You must excuse me.
We are about to become a grandmother.
So, that was it regards this
special edition of "Hard News".
25 seconds before we go off the air.
- Get ready.
Bridget is in labor.
Except even that Bridget
Jones is giving birth.
Yes.
- Drain the credits.
Credits.
- Drain the credits.
I hope I'm godmother.
- Allow the weather forecasts.
Listen I...
I owe you my apologies.
I know I have not behaved to me in all this.
No, it does not matter.
Hello.
Say hello to our beautiful boy.
Go ahead.
- Thank you.
You are.
Is not he perfect?
- Yes.
Hello.
I'm sorry I'm late, Bridge.
Some lesbians organize a silent protest.
They protest for freedom of expression.
That's pretty important.
- My God, look at him then.
Bridge.
I'm so sorry that we were not here.
That incredibly tedious march.
The march is critical ...
- Can I be godfather?
Well, I'm counting on you.
Congratulations.
- Well done.
Thank you very much.
- Well done.
You both.
- You all.
Where is she?
I am sorry that we were not on time.
Dad is the car 's parking.
There is a march for women's rights.
Really, we need more rights?
Mom, meet your new grandson.
The sweetheart. He looks exactly like ...
Not that it matters little, but ...
we already know who the daddy is?
We will find out?
Come on, you guys. Time for a little test.
Exciting, do not you think?
Like the final of the X Factor or something.
Press 01 if you want it to Mark and
press 02 if you want it to Jack.
Success.
- You too.
Please.
- Thank you.
A year later...
You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
Hello Sweetie. Hey.
Hello.
Hello.
- Hoi.
We're going to really do this.
- Now we can not go back.
We are gathered here to celebrate the
marriage of Bridget Jones rose ...
en Mark Fitzwilliam Darcy.
As an officer of civil status,
I now pronounce you ...
finally, man and woman.
Jack, what the hell are you doing in my son?
- Well, never leave me alone with him.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
- He's traumatized?
Hallo, William Jones-Darcy.
Some champagne for you?
- Yes please.
Dear Diary. And so, I, Bridget Jones ...
am no longer alone. Married? Yes.
Smug? Well, it would be time, so ...
maybe a little.
Missing playboy found alive
How in hell did I
end up here again..
Fuck off.
Twelve hours earlier.
My birthday actually began
the way of all my birthdays.
Hello Darlin. Just ring
to wish you a happy bday.
Mom? It's six o'clock in the morning.
I now use FaceTime.
learned from Una. It's really great.
The purpose of FaceTime is that you do
not have to keep your ear to the phone.
What stupid of me. There you are.
Around this time, 43 years ago ...
I ate Indian lamb in an
attempt to chase you out.
A delivery of 23 hours.
It's down there never been more right.
It's a miracle, bring a child into the world.
- Here he comes.
The son of Penny-Husband Bosworth
sells his sperm on the internet.
You do not even need a man.
People have a great life without them.
Look at you.
Great apartment, nice job ...
Great condo.
- I'm going to hang up.
Congratulate Bridget here with her birthday.
Colin?
Congratulations, Bridget.
Dank je.
I love you sweetheart. Do not forget...
I count on you to help me
with my media campaign.
It is the church council elections,
not the American primaries.
The annual call from my mother
to put my ovaries to work.
Frankly I had thought that
I would have a child ...
with the love of my life.
But sometimes life gives more
superficial gratifications ...
and I was at least back to my ideal weight.
Good day, Ms. Bridget.
You look beautiful again today.
There was still life in the old dog.
Not much elated lately.
Hello.
But this year all these things
came more clearly to the fore ...
by earlier than thought to attend an event.
Hello.
How do you feel? Is everything alright?
And.
I can not believe he's gone.
His death tends to concentrate on
the Eastern European market models.
They found the black box but no bodies yet.
Curiously fitting that he died
as he ducked into the bushes.
We are here together to celebrate life ...
van Daniel Cleaver.
Daniel was a sweet and wonderful son ...
Damn. What's he doing here?
You know how he is,
always wants to do the right thing.
Is that his wife?
Was I ever get over the loss of Mr. Darcy?
he was my True?
Jesus.
A man with a lot of charm and charisma.
I'm a little emotional.
- I would like to ask forward his loved ones ...
to share some memories of Daniel with us.
Daniel could be very sensitive ...
He gave you the feeling of
being the only woman on earth.
I met Daniel in Moscow.
He went boating with me on the
Serpentine and Keats quoted from memory.
He could quote from memory Keats.
- Where you going, girl from Devon.
And what's in your basket?
- Where are you going, girl from Devon.
And what's in your basket?
You, young, nice girl,
straight from the farm.
I get a snack if I am asking?
He did it with everyone.
Is there anyone who would
like some more to say?
Say something for his mother.
Think of anything.
Daniel was a man ...
that many of us here has touched today,
me too.
O jee.
Here Daniel would have said,
"Shut up, Jones."
And he would be right,
because all I really have to say is ...
Dear Daniel, I will miss you terribly.
We'll all do.
Shall I call you?
- Yes please. Bye.
Bridget.
- Mark.
This is Camilla.
- Hello.
Bridget, an old friend.
Well, less ancient, more childhood friend.
New...
Good service, where you can say.
You go to almost that
of yourself looking out.
Already, new ...
Bye.
- Bye.
Maybe that's why Mark
Darcy and I never made it.
I always felt like a rattling,
hag, even when we were together.
I was not going to keep
stabbing at the negative things.
Nobody on my work knew at
least that it was my birthday.
Or how old I would be.
Surprise.
Congratulations, Bridget.
Or so I thought.
Who told you?
It's so hot. So many candles.
There is no law for the maximum number
of candles on a cake from a certain age?
Josh, you look at what Reuters
says about the attacks on Ramallah.
We're going to maybe live. And Laura ...
I may be a year older and still single ...
but I always found solace
in my job as a top producer.
How am I going to change the world today?
Our main topic is the
exclusive interview ...
with the Minister of
Foreign Affairs on NGochi.
How did you do that?
- NGochi.
NGochi.
- You're doing a good job.
I have practiced. NGochi.
It's trickier than you think.
And have 30-plus colleagues who are
not obsessed with children and married.
How are we going to celebrate tonight?
Night out with the group.
- Please tell me we have to group sex.
Group sex? Since we love.
I'm a crazy club Berwick Street.
A cake would be nice.
I think I've already passed
my sexual expiration date.
No. There are names for women like you.
You're a cougar. You're a MILF.
I'm not a MILF, I'm not a mother.
I am a spinster, I'm a OVILF.
Three minutes into the broadcast.
- It's called Voyeurz with a 'z'.
Say that Cathy sent you.
On Thursdays there is a Chinese buffet.
As much as you want.
But whose advice sometimes
a little too modern.
I am equally testing.
- Yes.
You let not accidentally freeze your eggs?
- No, that will have now boiled.
You know what, Bridget? This weekend...
we should go out and get a lot ...
"Binge drinking, a danger to society."
Do I need new legislation?
Bridge, Miranda, I said,
do not talk between the gongs.
Stick to the questions on the cards.
Miranda.
The Minister of Foreign
Affairs later in the studio ...
to talk about the crisis in Muribundi.
You can always try online dating again.
Recently I was on Tinder.
Half an hour later I have a trio with ...
Prince Andrew, Royal Representative
for Trade and Investment ...
You did that on purpose.
- ... Has written his first children's book.
He had a huge dick.
Live in de studio is
minister George Wilkins...
who has just returned from
the stricken Muribundi ...
Miranda, I am speaking in your ear.
Follow me.
... Where the murder of the
bloody dictator Charles NGochi ...
has led to a civil war.
- One shot, back to four. Four.
Minister, this was a military coup?
- It seems that NGochi's own generals ...
Hi, Tom. I can not talk.
How was Daniel's funeral?
- It was sad.
I can not believe he's gone.
It's sad. I can not believe he's gone.
I do not think his death
regretted having to.
His persecution of the Ubuntu
population led to genocide.
It is generally known.
- I know he had his flaws.
I know he had flaws.
- He could be a real asshole.
He could be a real asshole.
But I miss him. We all do.
- But I miss him. We all do.
He was certainly a colorful character
on the international stage ...
I admit, but I think the genocide ...
which caused the death of 10,000 of his
own people, men, women and children ...
he still puts on the dark side of history.
At least he was never boring.
One, two, three and ready.
Do you think democracy will
ever set foot in West Africa ...
Now that's NGochi dead?
Do you think democracy ever get in West
Africa foothold now that NGochi is deceased?
Well, it is finally an interesting question.
No more time.
- Complete.
Shortly, please, Minister.
- It's complicated.
A 'yes' or 'no'.
Make sure that the last answer.
- Let's hope so.
We conclude with.
Thank you for coming today.
Back to you, Toby.
Dank je, Miranda, Bridget.
Could you not behave like now
the new management team was here?
Are they the new management team?
That's Alice Peabody, the new brand manager.
Apparently 'Hard News' is too old,
too seriously ...
and she is the smiling assassin, which is
to dismiss anyone who is older than she.
Everyone is older than she. I have cans
of soup that are older than they are.
See them nevertheless agree with
their apps and their ironic beards.
Perhaps that could be one of
them having sex with Bridget.
What?
- Want to have sex?
Nee.
- Yes.
And so we go one weekend steps
all other steps Weekend late fade.
Bridget, right?
Yes, pleasant ...
- Team Talk morning.
We can get acquainted.
Nine o'clock in the morning.
We all have to start an
hour earlier in the morning.
Do you think she saw?
- Maybe not.
Are you sure you do not go out with us?
Thanks, but I can not let the old club only.
They now stay at home moms. That
would have been disappointed.
Sorry Bridget,
the babysitter has just run off.
Against it, girl.
Praise the Lord for the gay community.
What fears you today carry with you ...
I want you take those fears and to
them says they should opsodemieteren.
And.
Are you ready?
- Yes.
Bikes but, sexy girls. Bicycles.
I'm sorry, Bridget, but I have to cancel.
I did not tell you today,
but Eduardo and I are going to adopt.
Adopt?
What, baby?
- Yes, baby.
A GAYBY, in our case.
That's great news, Tom.
I'm going to Bogota to start
the paperwork so I have to pack.
Great, go ahead.
Happy Birthday. Lots of fun.
Congratulations.
- Thank's sweetheart.
Totally awesome.
And so I ended up here.
The last old tart in London ...
and my two great loves has
married one and the other death.
Exactly, new plans for my birthday.
I,
Bridget Jones'm done with love affairs ...
and will devote the autumn
of my life to hedonism.
Go only with free spirits like Miranda ...
and if it is serious,
I'm good way for a spa weekend.
Damn.
Beautiful shoes.
I did not tell you because
you would not otherwise get.
Really, it's been five years now.
Shake who attracted burqa off ...
after it went out with
your lover Mark Darcy.
Nonsense. I almost never think about him.
What you need is a good turn.
You just have an old-fashioned,
do-lie-and-think-of-England needed lovemaking ...
and festivals are sexual banga parties
like Sodom and Gomorrah with tofu.
You have to have sex with
the first man you meet.
The first man?
- I will not accept 'no'.
I'll get our backstage passes.
You get the map.
Maps.
I may be old and dressed wrong,
but I see there great.
Exactly why I have not done my heels.
Hello Babe.
May I?
Dank je.
Look at that. It fits.
Bridget.
Bridget.
Is that the wicked stepmother?
- Yes.
I'll go before I need
to clean the fireplace.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Good plan number two.
The way to a man's heart is not
through beauty, sex or love ...
My name is Jack.
but because of the ability
to fall filled in the mud.
Besides.
What's ours?
- Let's see.
And it's not just glam camping pears.
By putting on 'gl' it is not better.
By calling him 'Gladolf Hitler can not
suddenly forget all the bad things.
Damn.
NGochi.
NGochi.
NGochi.
It is half past three in the afternoon.
I would now vacuuming at home.
This is incredible.
We have to have a picture.
Pardon?
Would you like to take a picture of us?
Yes of course.
- Thank you.
Are you ready?
- What are you doing?
I wanted to take a picture.
I thought you wanted a picture.
- Yes, all of us.
We thought it would be nice to
have a picture of us backstage ...
between all of these known people.
I believe that the guy is 'Bargain Hunt'.
It would be nice if he would be able to.
- Quickly.
So you do not want me in the picture?
- Bit dimming, dude.
Is it really that difficult?
They leave everything nowadays backstage.
I do not know.
He's cute and he looks familiar.
He works according to me
at the Starbucks in Balham.
One, two, three, singing.
My God.
I know. It's that guy from Starbucks.
Crowdsurfing.
Miranda.
Miranda?
Miranda?
Hoi, Miranda.
God.
I have to admit, that was fun.
And you're right ...
I need a good turn ...
an old-fashioned,
do-lie-and-think-of-England ...
lovemaking.
I participate.
My God.
What are you doing in my yurt?
With all your clothes,
luggage and belongings.
It's like I walked in and claimed.
Wait, it's you,
the essence of the Black Sea.
Yes. Sorry.
Do I really believe that you
came by accident in my yurt?
While you're here, maybe I can help you.
He's the first man I met ...
and his yurt is a lot better than mine.
Bridget, where are you?
Bridget, I'm so drunk.
Bridget.
I zorb with Ed Sheeran.
God.
I just had sex with a complete stranger.
I'm just a whore.
No. I am an elegant older woman
who takes men for her own pleasure.
Or I'm just a crazy middle-aged woman?
Never mind.
Miranda?
Good morning.
It took six hours?
Which lasted six hours?
A puppet show where Aunt Bridget was there.
A six-hour puppet show?
- Hey.
Tell me, were the little dolls or ...?
Very nice size.
And he has ...
his doll made in your mouth?
My God. It feels like my days
for a puppet show are over.
I've had finger puppets.
And he called?
- So does that nowadays no more.
You take a singer at a music festival ...
but no story attached to it.
A doll without a story.
Take off the wings. That's for little girls.
Hey?
- Where the hell are you?
We drive through the countryside
on the way to your christening.
No that is not true. Why lie aunt Bridget?
Bridge, you should know that
after Tom had to cancel ...
Mark Giles asked as godfather.
- What?
What did he do?
Yes I know. You have nothing on that dick.
He did it without asking.
My God. Weather Mark Darcy.
The second time this week that I was in a
church bowl substituting as the spinster.
Where were you, damn it?
Sorry.
Good morning and welcome.
This is not at all embarrassing.
Mark Darcy and me at the altar with a baby.
That is beautiful.
Big beautiful smile. Look at me. Thank you.
Beautiful.
Now only the godparents.
How are you?
- Very good, thank you. And with you?
Good thank you.
Are you here with your wife?
What's her name again?
Camilla. No, she could not be there.
Are you here with someone?
- Not today, no.
Come on, it's not a funeral.
Can you laugh?
Give her otherwise but
a peck on the forehead.
I actually meant the baby.
Stunning.
I'll see you later, most likely.
Yes,
unless I'm getting away with this thing here.
Can this day be more painful?
Keep moving, walking.
Hello.
- Hello.
How are you?
- Good thank you.
How are you?
- Good.
Me too.
Well, goodbye.
- Bye.
A glass of wine.
- A whiskey, please.
Large glass.
- A double.
Dank je.
I ask you to join but you do not
seem real Gangnam Style person.
I've been there but a short time.
- True?
Gangnam.
What are we talking about?
- Gangnam dance.
Not the suburb of Seoul?
- No.
I'm not familiar with Gangnam, the suburb.
- It means "south of the Han River."
It was inhabited during
the Paleolithic period.
Sounds at once a lot less.
Now something for all
lovers on the dance floor.
Now we come to the erection area.
- Do not fucking erection during a christening.
Shall we get some fresh air?
Something fresher than here, I mean.
Of course.
You do not happen to have a cigarette on you?
- No.
I am 1891 days ago stopped.
Not that you keep it.
Since when do you smoke?
- I do not smoke.
It's been a tough time.
Maybe I'm nervous.
Why?
There's something in your hair.
I know that.
Thanks to one of my many godchildren.
Seems to be stuck.
And this is...
Cake?
- Soesje.
That is more than a dessert cake, I guess.
What are you doing? You are married.
- No that is not me.
I mean, I'm married. I divorce.
That's why she's not here.
You were no longer together
during the memorial service?
No, she was just there as support.
She returned to The Hague,
where she now lives, and I do not.
I'm sorry, Mark.
At this moment I regret that at all.
How will I ever get in here?
Again?
Mr. Darcy, wow.
Bridget?
I've missed you so much.
Are we on schedule?
I have a morning flight to Khartoum.
I'm sorry, Mark. But I had to go.
It probably sounds ridiculous,
but I was scared.
The fact that we turned to each
other in the last ten years ...
without ever reach the finish reminds me ...
maybe we did best by that time to stop.
Sometimes it's scary to
still be alone on my 43rd.
But you and I have this
once before experienced.
We both loved the fantasy of us together ...
But the reality,
as we both know, is different.
We both think of 100 reasons why
it did not work between us ...
but in the end it felt like you were
not there and I was usually alone.
No, I can not stay back
and make the same mistakes.
Should go further and create new ones.
I continue with this crazy training program.
I give myself four weeks
to slim down my thighs ...
to get my fat ass in a tight teen pants ...
which is clearly not intended
for women of a certain age.
All that fucking bike makes no sense.
I just came on.
First let's rule out some things.
You're not pregnant, are you?
Of course not.
A lady is always prepared and
I have this always in my purse.
You did not used vegan condoms?
Biodegradable and friendly dolphin.
When I'm slutty, I think it's a nice
idea that I'm helping the environment.
Jesus, Bridget.
I can still remember when you bought it.
That was several decades ago.
Sustainability dates say nothing.
Do you?
They were a gift. Just ask no further.
Fast flowing rivers and
foaming waterfalls ...
a babbling brook.
nevertheless Hurry up, Bridget.
How long, do you think?
I think that's a positive result.
Pregnant
I check it here.
- Do not shake.
You do hurt the baby.
- The baby is not in the stick.
I think this is the time ...
you jump for joy.
My God.
- You are pregnant.
I am pregnant.
- You're pregnant.
I am pregnant.
- You get a baby.
I'm having a baby.
I'm having a baby.
- Yes.
If you have footage of her as she
strikes a horse, then I want it.
Bridget, you want a child?
- I do not know.
I'm 43.
This could be that I get only chance.
One broken, expired condom I had believed.
But two?
You wanted it.
Maybe.
Can there even be a doctor?
My God. I am pregnant.
This is it.
Rather, who is it?
This is not like I thought it would be.
I always saw myself in 'OK!'
magazine with the man of my dreams.
Too much to worry about.
Including ...
Who was this man whom I had sex in a tent?
So you're 43 years old?
Any time with my wonderful
husband we were pregnant?
Does that matter?
Yes, it is such a special moment.
We want to know what time it
was so that we can cherish.
Can not you cherish both?
- Yes, we do.
But one of these days will be
more likely than the other?
Well, day 10, his birthday,
is a bit on the early side.
And day 16 after ...
- Anniversary dinner.
Oh yes, the ossobuco,
now I'm late again, is a little.
Are you sure there was not
a special moment between?
Yes, I'm sure. He was gone.
Which one would you think?
Hard to say. Both of them are the same.
It might even have been afterwards.
Sperm can live for days after ejaculation.
Would not you want to take a chance on me?
- No.
And after the initial scan?
Is to infer when conception occurred?
No. Call this number for an appointment.
And take your father with it,
if you know who it is.
Okay.
Just out of interest ... If anyone
doubts over who would be the father ...
You can take a DNA sample during
amniocentesis, which I recommend to anyway.
Since there is a higher risk
of mother to a geriatric.
Geriatrisch?
That is ridiculous.
- Indeed.
Unless you can apply at the same
time allowances and pensions.
That's hilarious.
It is called "news"
because it should feel new.
Otherwise, it was called "old."
Sorry.
The main stories from last night.
Earthquake in Asia, we have seen before.
Car accident on the M5 ...
We make 'old'.
The key need that must be improved.
I want to go throw it a lot.
- She's on the warpath.
Susan, the floor manager was fired.
- She's six months pregnant.
We have to see to grab the attention,
focus control the eyes on the screen.
I want to see headlines like:
"Do you get cancer from your bed?"
"You get Alzheimer freeze?"
- Oh my God. Is that right?
It has not been proven, but you miss the
point. The attention, nevertheless draws?
I want to 'Hard News'
by starting with a clear new goal.
About twelve weeks we have a
presentation at the London Media Show ...
and I'm looking for a dynamic,
innovative and focused person ...
to take the leading role. Volunteers?
Whatever happens, this job I have to keep.
Fascist boss should prove that I
even though I am a single mother ...
well can handle ironically bearded hipsters.
Someone?
Should you go to the bathroom, Bridget?
- No, I sign up as a volunteer.
Hashtag: "Let's do this!"
It's me. Turn on your TV now.
Look at your TV. Now. Put it on Channel 4.
Bridget, I've found him.
He is the dating website guru.
You have to trust the science.
Algorithms do not lie.
You fucking slept with a billionaire.
Tell me, Bridget.
What attracted you initially
to the billionaire Jack Qwant?
It was his face or body? Big dick?
- I'd do it with him, obviously.
If I were you I would not tell either.
You only need one DNA sample from one of
them and then you can exclude the other.
What should I say to Mark?
"Hi Mark, I know I left dormant ...
but you do not know what blood,
semen or old nails lying around? "
How to get in touch with Jack?
And.
He is a tycoon, damn it.
Can not you just call him.
I just figured out how to win
the favor of the new boss ...
and may exclude one of the fathers.
I must say, Bridget,
I am very impressed by the next guest.
Relevant, approachable, incredibly fuckable.
Well done.
Welcome to CSI Hard News.
One minute about this VT.
- Bring in five, are ready. Thank you.
Thanks darling. If you want to piss off now,
that would be fine.
Jack, this is Cathy. It sets you up.
Hi, Cathy, nice to meet you.
- I think of a simple purple eyeshadow ...
to emphasize your eyes
and maybe a little rouge?
Just kidding.
- What are you funny.
You've got quite a gray hair.
Oh, Jesus.
- So. Ready.
Frankly, there is a very gray piece.
I'll just grab them?
Yes, my hair is full of gray hair.
- Well, that's settled.
Jesus Christ.
- All gone, great.
The nails of this handsome guy should
not be cut best, do not you think?
These hands have not yet gone
through a lot of work, do you?
No, I'm a mathematician.
- They are silky smooth.
Tell me, Jack. Do you like Chinese food?
Jack, I will take you to the set.
- Fine, thank you. Sometimes. Thank you.
I do not think she has applied makeup.
- It is well. You're looking radiant.
We start in five, four ...
And do not forget to turn.
And Miranda, on cue.
- Jack Qwant is uncomfortable.
Raised by one single mother in Baltimore,
he made the matchmaking website Qwantify ...
and he claims to have found
an algorithm for love.
Today he's here to tell us all about his
number one bestseller Qwantum Leap '.
It's great to have you on our bench.
- Thank you. It's nice to be here.
We quickly talk about your new book,
but let's first talk about romance.
Qwantify has found the
true love of millions.
About to two.
- Did it work for you too?
If I answer that we are
going to talk about the book?
Maybe.
Can not you try to fuck with
him during the broadcast?
This is amazing. Tell her to flirt more.
Some people were first in
love with Farrah Fawcett.
My first love was an algorithm.
- And we lost him.
If he continues to talk about algorithms I go
over to the VT of cats that look like Hitler.
Back to four.
He avoids the question.
Get him off of mathematics.
Ask him if he has a relationship.
For someone who's so good at linking ...
there is someone special in your life?
Except Lady Mary of 'Downton Abbey'?
Can we talk about the book?
Hitler put the cat in.
- Do not react so elusive.
It is clear that you have everything.
Why did you choose not family?
Why did you choose not family?
- No children.
And no children?
Brilliant. Zoom in on four.
And on four.
- I love it.
I love children ...
but have to be always found frightening
the idea of self-father.
That's why I'm attracted to algorithms.
- Set the Hitler cats.
They are very rational, reliable and
predictable anything that is not a child.
Can you have children?
Are the soldiers?
Yes, I think so.
The barracks are used regularly.
Really?
- Yes.
For someone with an alleged
algorithm for love ...
Is not it strange that
you've never found anyone?
I think to find something that
you actively have to seek.
I've been too busy so I did not ...
What about the bloodline of the Qwant family?
- And the bloodline of the Qwant family?
Are there unknown secrets?
- Sexual disorders?
Sorry,
I do not know where all this is going ...
but I must tell you that I can
attract the wrong kind of women.
That is amazing.
Thank you wanted to share with us.
Bridget, what are you doing?
You will not believe what
crosses for weirdos my path.
Really?
- Get up.
Tell me what she does.
Ask him about algorithms.
- This must be the last question.
As a final, algorithms.
- Yes.
What attracted you the first time in them?
- The logic and ...
Beautiful, Jack Qwant,
thank you sat on my couch.
I hope you've had just as much fun as I did.
- Jesus.
To the extent that. Bye.
That was amazing.
- I feel that I know you, not the show.
Are you on Tinder?
- What?
Then we have not met.
- No, okay.
Hey, you here.
- Hi.
Good to see you.
- Also good to see you.
I wanted to look up to say hello,
but you know how chaotic live TV.
There are easier ways to get in touch
with me except me on national TV ...
ask about my sperm.
- What? No, that's not what ...
I'd like to hear from you.
I was disappointed when I came
back tomorrow and you were gone.
Were you?
- We had a brilliant night.
I loved you. Until I became a piece ...
of 50 gnantste talk
show moments of all time.
Sorry. Yes that...
How should I explain.
I am pregnant.
- Wow. Okay.
It's ...
much better than you are mentally unbalanced.
I'm about twelve weeks pregnant.
Okay. Right.
So you mean that it was the music?
- Yes.
It's quite a surprise. Yes but...
it goes well with me,
you should know that ...
I want nothing from you.
Besides a complete DNA check and an
assessment of my medical records.
I just do not want you to come out.
And I feel a little silly.
Humiliated, actually. Yes, I'm humiliated.
I would like to retire politely.
Mr. Qwant, will you please sign my book?
Oh God. I have not even told him
that he can not be the only father.
Christina.
- I find this amazing book.
Katie Couric, I need to talk to you.
What appears to be like this Jack DNA?
I want that Jack is the father?
I know Jack disagrees.
And what if it is Mark Darcy?
Jesus. I have to confess to him that
I was a whore with dolphin condoms.
Good.
So it goes well with the baby?
- Perfect.
You see?
- Oh my God. Is that him?
And all is well?
- As fit as a fiddle.
Listen.
Look at that.
I recorded it for you. Then you look.
So glad you are going
to do the amniocentesis.
Hi there.
Is that your ear or your foot?
You have very big feet.
Oh, and you swing already.
You're the best I've ever seen.
I promise I will do my best.
So just keep safe and cozy inside ...
while I clean up the mess here trying.
And hopefully...
What the fuck is that?
- This is the needle for amniocentesis.
We print it in, take a little amniotic
fluid out and test it for abnormalities ...
and also the DNA sample you want.
There is a very slight risk of
miscarriage so you must lie still.
We do not want the needle comes in contact ...
- What?
No. I do not take that risk.
He is gigantic.
He comes firmly to the other side out again.
Come, I'll take you home.
Your mother will love it.
- Promise not to tell her?
Not yet.
- No, of course. I promise.
I'm really sorry that I was
the father who does not know.
Do not act so stupid.
I know plenty of people who can be anyone.
- So you're not disappointed?
Do not you think I have it on Jerry Springer?
- No, I'm just happy.
I'm not sure if you are mine or those cute
lieutenant colonel of the bowling club.
It was just a joke.
You have my feet.
I've always had dainty feet.
Just tell the truth, Bridget.
There you are always great.
Mark, I have some exciting news.
I have to tell you something funny.
Mark, I'm pregnant.
Gentlemen and ladies.
There is only one crime committed
today and that is the following.
To use the laws of one country to destroy
the freedom of expression of another.
A cynical politically expedient to take away
the right of these courageous young women ...
to speak the truth about
the country they love.
You love might not like their
music and I can not blame you.
They do not have the hang of the most basic
principles of musicality the basis of melody ...
but this is the land of Shakespeare,
Orwell, Lawrence ...
I had forgotten how good he
is with that wig and gown.
... Against every country, every ruler,
every despot, we will be here in the UK ...
women always defend and protect
that selfless and brave ...
their freedom have risked
their lives and possibly ...
to tell the truth.
The court will now be suspended
and the matter will be felled ...
Power to the Poonani.
- Jesus.
I look forward to the return
of the good old genocide.
Asked.
How do you do that?
I did not expect to see you again
after conditions at baptism.
Shit. He dived straight in.
No, I understand. Maybe flattery works.
You were very impressive net.
- Thank you.
While dealing with them the last
month has raised a little sympathy ...
the totalitarian dictator who
silenced them wants to impose.
Okay, just kidding.
Next time I will laugh harder.
There is only a limited number of
times that someone can listen to ...
absolutely not catchy "Menstruation,
castration, Liberation."
Mark, that's hilarious.
Please.
Thus.
- So, Mark.
And.
The gardens look beautiful. For autumn.
- Yes.
Is that a chestnut tree?
- Bridget.
I am pregnant.
Okay. Well, congratulations.
How can I help?
I'm three months pregnant.
You mean the baptism?
And.
Excuse me a moment.
This is perhaps the most beautiful piece of
information that I received in my entire life.
I have no expectations about how it goes.
I just thought you should know.
No, of course.
I mean, how do you feel? Are you happy?
- Yes that's me.
So much has happened in the last ten years.
Much has changed.
I mean, you've been married, and I am ...
have been on some distant
holiday destinations.
But ... So there's Jack.
I mean ...
- I know.
But now I can not feel sad about it.
God, how can I tell him now.
State of emergency. Can not sleep.
Thoughts go round and round in my head.
It is really strange that you can do
something so complicated and important ...
when growing a baby or invade
Iraq without any instructions.
All the alcohol I drank
the last few years ...
the baby will give the
fetal alcohol syndrome.
These things I can do.
Mark talk about Jack ...
and risk that I hurt him so
that I can not live with myself.
Mark did not tell Jack,
but I can not go on with it.
both tell them that the other is the father
and the one who is not the father stripped ...
Oh Jesus.
Nobody tell you something and run off.
Hello?
- Hey, the father of your child.
Jack?
- Yes, how else?
Come on up.
Damn. He probably has hired a team of
detectives Google Earth to find me.
Okay, do as normal as possible.
Come on in.
- Okay.
You've found it.
- Try it, see if it fits.
Wow.
I did not expect to see you.
- I did not expect to come.
I am to be rejected not used. Twice.
I hope you cake in that bag.
I thought a lot.
This whole baby situation has shocked me. We have
printed an entire relationship in one night ...
and have beaten all about
to start a family phase.
We even had no real second date.
If we had done that,
then I would have taken to Ottolenghi.
You would have got grilled
salmon and pine nuts salsa.
Incredibly and healthy.
And we would have come back here ...
have great sex ...
and the next day we send
each other dirty messages.
I would not have to do on a second date.
Why not. You let me do it on the first.
And then we would witness a
naughty weekend on the coast ...
I would prove my manhood by
winning a stuffed animal ...
on the pier.
But I really wanted the big Scooby-Doo.
- Oh, no one wins.
There are coconuts stuck.
What are those for?
- To offer my apology.
We had our first fight.
I was not flirting with the waitress.
She means nothing to me.
And then I'd ...
Swedish furniture bought to assemble.
If we get through this, we can do anything.
- Everything.
I would be pathetic if your neck
is blotchy when you are nervous.
And I know you would be the
best mother to my child.
Oh no, can not fall in love
with a radiant new American.
Tomorrow I tell them both, definitely.
I just wanted to know how
to recover the presentation.
Yes, I'm full,
I blender me all the way through.
I trust you, Bridget.
You must do well. Do you understand?
100 percent. You can count on me.
- Beautiful.
Is it going well?
- Yes.
Big party. I'm glad to see you both again.
We also Gianni.
- Great news, huh?
Cheers.
I thought of Jack.
If it's a boy, named after my grandfather.
It's a good strong name. You can trust Jack.
Yes, one for the list.
Op Jack.
So this is dad, I suppose.
Glad you're here.
It is a unique and wonderful moment.
Dr. Rawlings,
I wonder if you can give me a little favor.
So this is dad, I suppose. Nice to meet you.
Glad you could be there.
This is a unique and wonderful moment.
Before we begin, you want to know the sex?
- We should be prepared.
I do not know.
- It is a boy.
A boy.
- Our boy.
My boy.
Okay, now I really need to tell them.
Start with Jack.
Invited him for the big scary work
presentation and will then explain.
Welcome.
In a digital age where every cell phone
has a camera, we're all broadcasters.
"Hard News"
is working with the London Media Show ...
so you can use your smartphone
to create your own news channel.
Download the 'Hard News'
app and send directly to our studios in ...
where Miranda awaiting our first
live simultaneous broadcast.
Hello everyone,
live on the London MediaShow.
Welcome to the new look of
'Hard News' studio.
We are now live and yes
our viewers broadcast.
Now we go to the Grampians ...
where Adam Wollaston leads a team of
Venture Rangers to the summit of Ben Nevis.
Hello, Adam Wollaston.
- 'Hard News' sucks.
Jezus.
- O jee.
Let's news story but quickly behind us.
Technische storing.
It's obviously never been easier
to email or text the show.
You only have to look at
"Hard News" or simply H.
Because...
Damn. What's he doing here?
Because we believe in 'Hard News' ...
We believe we are ready and ahead ...
by asking the questions that
the world wants to answer.
Turn around.
Thank you. Okay. Career collapsed.
Both men in the same room.
What can go wrong there now?
I hope you do not mind me
suddenly stand before you.
No.
- Well done. It was bad...
Yes.
- Technically skilled.
Mark, I want you to meet ...
Sithrnthnthn Ariartr.
Arirenata's regional manager
in DTC Technological Solutions.
Or not, Ari Sinatra?
Hoi.
- Hello.
What was it doing? What did you think?
I have four voicemails David
Cartwright I do not dare to listen.
I'll be right back.
- You call that a presentation?
I doubt whether I have the right people
around me because you are not ...
I'm sorry, Alice.
- Sorry is not good enough.
Excuse me. Look at me when I talk to you.
- I'm sorry, but I ...
What?
Bridget, I want you to meet Jack Qwant.
He's pretty special.
I read a profile of him in The New Yorker."
- Okay, yeah.
We know each other -. Yes, we certainly do.
Well done.
- Why have not you introduced him?
He's brilliant. He represents the
punk rock band that is delivered.
That's right.
- Yes. I knew well.
Hi, we have been too fleeting acquaintance.
I lead the data management
for most of Daventry.
Fantastic that you get on so well
together because you have a lot in common.
we will find a quieter place?
- Yes, why not. I booked at Gianni.
Beautiful.
- That sounds good.
I think this must serve, Arinuth. Sorry.
Do you really think math is ...
how you described it in your book?
helps to analyze behavior which
was first hidden from scientists?
My dating algorithm helps people to
find their love, not to replace them.
Oh no, it's a great idea.
- Have you ever tried?
You're single?
- Yes, I think so.
How did you meet?
Yes.
- It is...
It's a funny story.
A few months ago, on the fourth of the month,
I met Jack at a music festival.
Okay.
And we got on well and had
some sort of relationship.
And next week, on the eleventh of the month
at the baptism of Judes baby to be exact ...
after we had quite had consumed some alcohol
Mark and I the same type of relationship.
And this is the funny part, I think.
These relationships ...
the resulting life can
in my belly you're both.
I know I should have told it
before but I have simply not done.
You both looked so happy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you just
say it may be the baby of both of us?
So you have no idea who our father is?
I know, it's all very confusing. Sorry.
So how do we choose to do this ...
the most important at this time is this.
Bridget,
I'm not just pretend it's not a shock.
I want you to know that you're
right despite the circumstances.
The baby is the most important.
Who knows, this could be a great adventure.
I'm afraid I have to go. I have a meeting.
Sorry.
- Mark ...
Gianni, we can get the bill?
- Subito.
And if I thought that was awkward ...
how would receive the news is on mom's
election campaign for city council?
We are half an hour ago already begun.
Where were you?
You said it was an emergency.
"The Gazette" want to make a family portrait.
What are you wearing?
Oh my God. Bridget, you are ...
- Yes.
Why did not you tell?
- I did not mean to upset you.
Why would that happen?
Oh no, Bridget. Who is the father?
It's not Mark? Oh, say he is.
- There is a probability of at least 50 percent.
A 50 percent chance?
- Mark of the really nice American named Jack.
No, Bridget. An American?
Did you have a threesome?
Ms Jones.
Here, take this and pretend all is well.
- Everything is good.
Ms. Jones, we can ...
- This is a nice place for you.
Are you ashamed of me?
- No honey. It's just the circumstances.
I struggle with a high function.
If you like vote Pamela Jones family values.
Bye.
It is not the fifties.
Look around you.
The two lesbians from number 32 just adopted.
If you look at things does not change
you lose your valuable election ...
and maybe your daughter.
Bridget, how nice to see you.
Are you...?
- Yes indeed.
How beautiful.
We thought you had grown back thick.
I am now the Mary Magdalene of Central England.
I have Mom and Mark Darcy estranged from me.
I'm like a tropical insect that catches
men to conceive and then eat them.
The question is: Mark will show up and
participate in this polyamorous family?
The first pregnancy course.
Spannend, summer?
- Ja.
You look great.
Hello.
So glad you came.
- Yes I agree.
I took tasty tea.
- Thank you.
Great to see you, dude. But there
is hell of a lot of caffeine in tea.
I brought you juice.
Thank you. Shall we go inside?
Why not?
- Certainly. I will carry you.
Thank you.
- Can I carry your phone?
Dank je.
And who are you?
I'm Bridget and this is Jack ...
and this is Mark.
What single.
You are today our second set of the same sex.
No, actually we're ...
- Absolutely.
The baby gift will make us feel complete.
You are then the surrogate mother?
- Indeed yes.
I help this great bunch to
come out of their dream.
Mark is here very nervous about it.
Completely new to you, anyway, lamb chop?
Like all dreamers,
we are on the road obstacles.
How do you like your placenta?
- Quickly.
Are you okay? Are you sure?
And of course can have many benefits
massage during our pregnancy.
Can we mention a few?
- It relieves stress and gives good hormones.
And should be avoided in
one risky pregnancy ...
For example, if there is a geriatric mother.
Right, great, someone has delved into it.
Do you want to continue?
- No, I have let Jack go.
I think he 's will survive.
- That's sweet of you.
That's why I love you, my little teacup.
What if we ask the right questions
and apply the law of mathematics ...
so the science of courtship
can be determined?
Are you compatible?
Yippee. It is a match.
Can I request an appeal ...
in the case of Her Majesty's
Government and Saddiq Al Bashir.
As Your Honour may know,
Mr. Al Bashir has lost.
So everything's okay?
- Yes, it is this combination ...
pickles, anchovies, banana and Pringles.
So it's really ...
- It's air.
Right, so, in the future regular Pringles,
not hot, spicy barbecue?
Or maybe no Pringles. Try that.
Is everything alright? Bridget is in order?
- Yes, everything is fine.
She's in there with ... That's Dr. Pringle.
He tests her blood. This is interesting.
It is a new technique of Oslo we tested.
That's Norwegian.
It does not matter. I know about Jack.
- Thank God. Why did not you say?
It's okay. He has her completely reassured.
I'm sorry, I got your messages.
I was in court.
Hi. It does not matter.
There you can put anything.
Which you need to include.
It may be your job.
No worries. I help her.
- Yes, I can see that.
Okay, you need to relax.
We must do this together.
In Peru at the "Um Bat Do ', fatherhood is a
shared responsibility among many tribal members.
Unfortunately, we do not live in Peru.
I live in Ealing.
Negative energy is so bad for the baby.
Stop. You both. This is not a competition.
She's right.
We must let this toxic energy from the room.
It will only take a moment.
What is it? Come on, buddy.
Why are you so angry?
You know what? I'm not your buddy.
I know nothing about vibes or negative
energy or prenatal flatulence ...
and even less about algorithms ...
so I will confess that the laws
of attraction are a mystery to me.
In fact,
Bridget defies understanding in general.
Despite, or perhaps because of the
appalling litany of disasters ...
I've seen the last 40 years,
I know Bridget pretty good ...
and all these years I
have a lot to give her.
That can defy automated reasoning,
but I can not help it.
Nothing you can do about it?
You could stay close rather than
to save the world with your mobile.
I make her happy, Mark.
I suppose your algorithm
predicts that you are destined.
Indeed. The fact that you "tried t decade
and failed, tells me that you're not.
No ...
- I will not argue with you.
We must think of Bridget and the baby.
In sickness and in health,
fate brought us together.
It was no accident, it were condoms.
- How do you mean?
That ridiculous dolphin friendly stuff
from the bottom of Bridget's bag.
Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking
about. When Bridget and I did it, I was ...
I was not dressed for the occasion.
None Mark today?
- No.
We should thank one person who
was willing to fight for us ...
when no one else did,
and we say to those ...
with all our hearts ... "
"Freedom of expression!"
Bridget, we are back in the air.
I still can not believe Mark has gone away.
It's not really his fault.
Let's just hope it's Jack, right?
Be honest, it could be worse.
He's damn good.
He's richer than God and his
doll has a pleasant size.
That's right,
and on paper we are very similar.
But how do you know?
- You just have to have confidence in it.
You just have to ask yourself:
'Do I see myself to be old ...
with him and not with Mark Darcy? "
There it is. Here we go.
The first few months,
they see only black and white.
This will contribute to the
promotion of spatial awareness.
Or early onset of motion sickness.
I bought this for him. A bouncer.
Only no idea where we are going drop.
In that respect it ...
here is quite tight, do not you think?
It's homey.
I've been thinking.
It would be nice if we moved in together.
Do you think we are ready?
I'm just tired of living in
hotel rooms and airplane lounges.
We could be a family. I, you and him.
What do you think about it?
What if it's not yours?
- What?
What if it turns out that the baby of Mark?
Well,
that will certainly change some things.
Is that what you want? That is Mark?
Are you in love with him?
That I've been in the past.
And me?
That might, some day.
Bridget, I'm not completely honest with you.
Mark thinks the baby is not his,
and I let him believe it's mine.
That's why he's gone.
Why would he think that?
- Because I took care of that.
Because I wanted you for myself.
We could be so good for each other.
97 percent.
- On paper.
But love does not happen on paper.
Sometimes you love someone
because he is not the same as you.
And sometimes you love someone
because it feels like home.
I have to find Mark.
Hello, Pierce.
Bridget, I'm trying to get Mark.
He has just returned from a trip, Bridget.
He's on his way home.
Hoi.
To go about eight weeks.
You do not really need them.
They are only good places for car seats,
then they are only in the way.
You're quite capable of
doing this on your own.
I succeeded.
Weight: What does that matter?
Calories: 3,100. Mainly potatoes.
Alcohol: 0. Torture.
But going only four weeks.
You know what? I can do this on my own.
We can do this together.
One of the advantages of being pregnant
is not your spinster need to feel more.
Because of that little
miracle that grows within you.
Hello.
Your mother is organizing a
Christmas party as a political race.
It's like the G8 summit with Scotch eggs.
Be brave. Go inside.
Hello Sweetie.
- Hey.
Sorry, I did not think anyone would be.
I'll go upstairs.
No, nonsense.
Una has once again let print all posters.
You have inspired me.
- Still so long.
However, you were right.
This place is full of single mothers,
single fathers, bisexuals, surrogates.
And they are all so sweet and so normal.
I even have two gay men in the team.
- No, thank you.
Who would have expected now?
- Everybody.
I'm so proud of you, honey. Do you know?
What you do is not easy,
but if anyone can it's you.
That child is the happiest guy on
earth to have you as his mother.
He will have the love of
millions father at his side.
Come on. We need to go campaigning.
Out of the way. A single mother is coming.
Laura, Josh.
We must give six minutes to General Lu Tong.
It's big news.
- Yes, Alice wants to do the interview.
She has a heading
"end of the world on Tuesday?"
That could be good if we lose Lu Tong.
Lu Tong continues.
Six minutes. We go for it.
General Lu Tong, hello.
Sorry that this is so chaotic today.
Thank you for coming.
In two minutes we go live.
Miranda would probably start with
what is happening in Naypyidaw.
On three.
- Miranda, back to General Lu Tong.
Keep asking questions.
- I'm asking you again, General Lu Tong ...
take responsibility for the
violation of human rights ...
performed by your own government?
He is on the rack. Shows which sweat.
Focus, four.
- I'm sorry, I can not answer that.
Can, or would you not, General Lu Tong?
On balance, I recommend "can not", given
General Lu Tong I've found in the lobby ...
and his driver is live and answer
questions about Far Eastern geopolitics.
Not? Any comments you want to make
on the use of sexual torture ...
by your own troops?
Ask him about the traffic in London.
- The traffic in London, General Lu Tong?
Do you have anything to say about it?
No comment. Unbelievable.
That's what General Lu Tong concerns.
See you after the break.
Well done.
Unfortunately, you leave me no choice.
It is actually illegal to
fire someone who is pregnant.
Therefore, I do not absolve her.
I push her through gross incompetence.
Bridget is the beating heart of this show.
Why would you want to fire her?
How about 't interviewing one driver?
Using define a television interview or a
guest might be the father of her child ...
and responsible for the
transmission of six nude butts?
It does not matter.
It really does not, Richard.
I wanted to quit anyway. Probably.
Believe it or not,
I was just like you when I started here.
Some firmer and much less makeup,
but I would also leave my mark.
But I want no part of your development.
I have anyway not the right hairstyle
and do not drink cocktails in jars ...
or post pictures of my lunch on Instagram.
I think it is not modern to want to
make something that is worthwhile.
But I would rather be old and unemployed ...
then be part of a show that is meaningless.
Maybe when my son is old enough,
integrity will be popular again.
What have I done?
It is good to fight for your principles
if there is no food in the fridge.
How hard can it be to find another job ...
if you are just fired
and nine months pregnant?
What is going to happen,
I'll buy you the damn Bugaboos.
Birthday?
God, my brains are to perish.
First nummertje?
Welcomes card. Please contact your bank.
Nee.
Damn.
I'm so sorry.
Everything is suddenly against. Right.
Nee, nee.
Okay, new pre-birth planning.
I, Bridget Jones,
best mother will be in the world.
I will try to remember you in a store ...
or you stop a machine like
that woman did with her cat.
I know I promised I'd have before
you would arrive everything in order.
But the truth is, I did not,
but we can do this together ...
because fairy tale princes no longer exist.
Or is it?
Hoi.
Bridget. Jesus, what are you doing?
You're all wet.
Yes, I've locked myself out,
and I leave my bag ...
I forgot my keys, phone, my mind.
What are you doing here?
It turns out I can always find time to
save the world, but you are my world.
I thought you were back in Candida.
You know very well that they called Camilla.
- Camilla.
I came to your house, and she was there.
She came to pick up her belongings.
She went back to The Hague.
I took her to the airport.
Dank je.
Bridget...
You know I'm emotional statements ...
find difficult.
But the truth is ...
Why my legs are warm?
My waters have broken.
- Jesus.
Sorry. I grab a towel.
But you're just exhausted
in two or three weeks.
That is a contraction.
We need to get to the hospital.
Sure.
- Let's get your car.
I came by taxi.
- Damn.
How I should have know?
- No, not you. Contractions.
No, we take your car.
- It can not. The keys are in my bag.
Five, six, seven, eight ...
- Puffing, breathing and counting.
... Nine, ten.
- I hear you doing it?
Which you need to include.
It can be the work.
No do not do that.
- Hey, what the hell is that?
That's very sweet,
but we have to call a taxi.
Right, what do we do?
I'll think of something.
Watch out.
- Out of the way.
We go to the hospital.
We're going to make a baby.
Let's go.
God, this is ... It's really happening.
I'm going to become a mother.
Maybe I'm too old for this.
Wait, wait. Why do you stop?
A margarita with onion and pineapple.
Number 17, thank you.
What?
Who is eating onion with pineapple, huh?
Some people do not track, right?
Yes. Okay. Here we go.
Do not worry, Ms. Bridget.
We ensure that you get there.
Around this time there is no traffic.
It's okay, right?
Vagina. Power to the vagina.
My God. Unbelieveable.
A protest for women's rights.
Jesus, not now.
- These are the women I defended.
That diabolical Russians.
Hold my hand firmly.
We really have got to get there.
We need to get there.
Well, we're going out. Ready?
- No, I think not a good idea.
Nee, Bridget... Bridget.
Call Jack.
- I'll be chasing you with the bags, Mr. Mark.
And I call Mr. Jack.
It's all right, Bridget. We'll find something.
- I can not walk I think.
That does not matter. I'll carry you.
Good God, Bridget. You're huge.
- I can not help it.
I think my lungs have exploded,
but that's not important.
My contractions start again.
I'm going to have the baby on the street.
- I have an idea.
We rest ten count and walk ten count, right?
- Okay.
It's not far.
- No.
I still think 2.4 kilometers.
- I do not believe...
Are you okay?
It's better if I do not talk much.
- Yes.
Okay, I'm here. I can take it now.
I got you.
- Thank you.
Jesus.
You must do this with two men.
- I'm here.
Get her.
- I got her.
Jesus. Do not drop it.
Just inside.
- This way?
Yes, there.
- No, this way.
Okay, but wring.
Are you succeeding?
- Get her.
Pressures.
- I press already.
Push.
Closer.
No, not a problem.
We're out.
- Sister.
Carol wheelchair.
One two Three.
- Yes, here. Thank you.
Is everything alright?
Who of you is the father?
- I.
Right.
Breathe out the pain.
Beautiful.
- Hey.
I wondered how many fathers we would get.
A full house. Bingo.
Bridget, how do you do this? Painkiller?
No, you can. A positive mental
attitude is stronger than a drug.
Good? Think of the pain away.
- Nonsense. No, I want everything.
Gas, air, injections, morphine.
Bridget, remember your yoga.
- To hell with yoga.
I totally agree.
It's supposed to be relaxing ...
but I'm busy all the time to tighten
my sphincter so I will not fart.
Can you turn around?
I need to check your cervix.
You're doing very well.
If so. Turn quietly to me.
Just a little research.
Okay, ready? Research ... starts now.
Yes. Nice nice.
You already eight centimeters.
That is beautiful.
You can now no medication.
What?
- You have too much access.
Well done. Here comes another contraction.
I'm not sure what you have
in mind to watch from here.
My ex-husband said it looked
like burned his favorite pub.
Your choice.
Maybe Dad can take a damp cloth for Mom.
I know.
It's okay. You can do this.
Think of the pain away.
Asshole.
just think the pain away.
- Get out, both of you.
Where are you going?
I've changed my mind.
I've changed my mind.
You can do this.
You can do it. We do this together.
Remember what life has brought so far.
You've turned into catastrophes triumphs ...
with your pure, joyful, indefatigable,
contagious zest for life.
You have this pregnancy almost
accomplished on your own ...
despite one insane mother, oppressed women and
cheating boyfriends who do not deserve you.
Just a moment.
Just a moment, dear,
and we see your beautiful baby.
What if it's not yours?
- I still love him, just like yours.
As you were, are, and always will be.
I think you can get a better look at this.
- Thank you.
I take it from talking about here.
Think of the pain away.
You pressed a very Mensje from your vagina.
I want to see them do away thinking.
367 of the votes ...
the winner Pamela Margaret Jones.
- Pamela, honey, it's Bridget.
Not now, Colin.
- It's about the baby.
I hereby certify that
Pamela Margaret Jones ...
I'm so sorry. You must excuse me.
We are about to become a grandmother.
So, that was it regards this
special edition of "Hard News".
25 seconds before we go off the air.
- Get ready.
Bridget is in labor.
Except even that Bridget
Jones is giving birth.
Yes.
- Drain the credits.
Credits.
- Drain the credits.
I hope I'm godmother.
- Allow the weather forecasts.
Listen I...
I owe you my apologies.
I know I have not behaved to me in all this.
No, it does not matter.
Hello.
Say hello to our beautiful boy.
Go ahead.
- Thank you.
You are.
Is not he perfect?
- Yes.
Hello.
I'm sorry I'm late, Bridge.
Some lesbians organize a silent protest.
They protest for freedom of expression.
That's pretty important.
- My God, look at him then.
Bridge.
I'm so sorry that we were not here.
That incredibly tedious march.
The march is critical ...
- Can I be godfather?
Well, I'm counting on you.
Congratulations.
- Well done.
Thank you very much.
- Well done.
You both.
- You all.
Where is she?
I am sorry that we were not on time.
Dad is the car 's parking.
There is a march for women's rights.
Really, we need more rights?
Mom, meet your new grandson.
The sweetheart. He looks exactly like ...
Not that it matters little, but ...
we already know who the daddy is?
We will find out?
Come on, you guys. Time for a little test.
Exciting, do not you think?
Like the final of the X Factor or something.
Press 01 if you want it to Mark and
press 02 if you want it to Jack.
Success.
- You too.
Please.
- Thank you.
A year later...
You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
Hello Sweetie. Hey.
Hello.
Hello.
- Hoi.
We're going to really do this.
- Now we can not go back.
We are gathered here to celebrate the
marriage of Bridget Jones rose ...
en Mark Fitzwilliam Darcy.
As an officer of civil status,
I now pronounce you ...
finally, man and woman.
Jack, what the hell are you doing in my son?
- Well, never leave me alone with him.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
- He's traumatized?
Hallo, William Jones-Darcy.
Some champagne for you?
- Yes please.
Dear Diary. And so, I, Bridget Jones ...
am no longer alone. Married? Yes.
Smug? Well, it would be time, so ...
maybe a little.
Missing playboy found alive