Buck Privates (1941) Movie Script

Man:
September 14, 1940,
Congress passes the first
peacetime selective service
training act
in the history of the nation.
President Roosevelt signs
The Draft Bill...
an epochal step
in national defense.
Impressive ceremonies...
Secretary of War Stimson
is blindfolded...
draws the first number
from 9,000 sealed capsules.
Roosevelt:
The first number drawn
by the Secretary of War
is serial number...
Man: And the youth of America prepare
to become peacetime
buck privates.
- That's no way to drive, Martin.
- Sorry, sir.
The line forms
on the left.
You play
soldier.
Everything seems to be running
smoothly, Captain Johnson.
Yes, sir, we're getting
a fine group of men.
- More teeth and less flat feet.
- That's splendid.
I'll see you later.
- Captain Johnson.
- Yes?
I'm Randolph Parker.
Dad's in Washington now
heading some kind
of defense board.
- I suppose you've heard from him?
- No.
Oh, well I'm sure
you will.
Dad's bound to want
me working with him.
So, about this order
to report for training...
Why of course, Mr. Parker, I understand.
If you'll just
step in here,
we'll be delighted
to take care of you.
Thanks.
You're sure this
won't take long?
Oh no. You'll hang
your hat there please.
Yes.
- And your coat, too.
- My coat?
And the rest of your
clothes please.
- Doctor: Tonsils okay. Open please.
- The rest of my...
- Wide.
- 155, next.
Tonsils okay.
Next.
- Wide please.
- 175. Next.
- Name?
- I'm Robert Martin.
Number 158.
158? Say, that's
a nice number.
Imagine me being
first prize in a raffle.
Give a boy a break, Officer.
He's reporting for service.
Man: That's the stuff.
That's fine and dandy.
I don't want
to give you any sales talk,
but in my time,
I've advertised tooth powder
face powder, foot powder
and flea powder.
I've lived on the bounty
of the county
and done my boardin'
with the warden.
Never have I ever
had the opportunity
of presenting such
merchandise to the public.
Feel that material. That's
enough. Now, friends,
ordinarily this tie would sell in any
haberdashery for a dollar and a half.
But am I asking you for
a dollar and a half? No.
Am I asking you
for a dollar? No.
Am I asking you
for 50c? No.
All I'm asking for
is 10c.
Now wait a minute. Let me
get a word in... or two.
Go on, go ahead. I'll
listen to you for a while.
Thanks kindly. Neighbor,
how much money have you got?
- I've got in the vicinity of $28.
- You've got $28?
In the vicinity. In the
neighborhood I've got three bucks.
- Then, you've got $3?
- Roughly speaking.
- Roughly speaking?
- When you smooth it out I've got a buck.
Then you have a dollar?
You have a dollar.
That's all I want to know.
The gentleman buys 10 ties.
How can he sell
ties that cheap?
We ain't got no overhead. We haven't
even got a license to sell these ties.
- Feel that material.
- It won't wrinkle or fade.
Fade, Smitty,
fade...
What's wrong?
What's wrong?
The "oper-cay"
is here
The "oper-cay"...
Come here!
Get in the cab.
Hey, cabbie,
step on it.
We're trying
to get away from a cop.
- Cops: Oh yeah?
- Ooh-ooh!
Herbie! Quick,
get in line.
- We'll hide in the movies.
- Yeah, and when we get in we'll stay a long time.
- Get a couple tickets.
- Okay.
- Whoop.
- What are you, a wise guy?
You want to fight?
Take your coat off.
It's much cooler
this way, ain't it?
Go ahead, get a couple of tickets.
What's your hurry? We
got rid of that dumb cop.
- How much to get in?
- Nothing.
We're going
to give you $21.
Oh, bank night.
Giving any dishes away?
- No, tin plates.
- Tin plates, what a novelty.
Now we can start
our new set.
- Step inside.
- Come on or we won't get a seat.
Hey, usher.
Hey, you,
what picture's
playing in here?
- You're in the army now.
- Good, I never saw that picture.
Calling Dr. Coldwater.
What's this
"Calling Dr. Coldwater?"
- It must be a double feature.
- Ah, yes.
- Draftee?
- Not a bit.
- Do you feel it?
- No.
I feel very
comfortable in here.
Right over there.
Let's register before
the drawing starts.
Think you're
gonna win, huh?
Step right up, boys.
Sign right here, please.
- "Please"? What polite ushers.
- Quiet!
And let me have your
signature right there, please.
I'd be delighted.
And I hope I win.
Congratulations, men.
- We're glad to have you in the army.
- Both: Thanks. What?!
- Smitty: The army?
- You won.
Gangway!
Mutiny!
- Whoop-whoop!
- Going someplace, boys?
Yeah, yes,
we're going someplace.
We're going in the army
and you can't touch us.
Oh, so you're
going in the army, eh?
Well, I'll be
seeing you.
What am I
laughing at?
What are you putting
your tie on for?
Somebody might
come in.
239. You just
made it.
If you'd been over 240, we'd
have had to turn you down. Next.
- Hey, Smitty, did you hear that?
- Yes.
- If you're over 240 Ibs. they don't take you.
- That's right.
Boy, am I lucky. Get a
load of this. 241, hm-hmm!
Oh, sit down before
you get in trouble.
Get away.
1- 6-4, 164.
Next.
239, next.
158 and 1/2.
Next.
173 and 1/4.
Next.
164, next.
Set still. You act as
though you've got a hot foot.
Hot foot? Brother, you've got
a very poor sense of direction.
158 and 1/2.
Next.
Boy, this is arson.
164. Next.
That's you,
Herbie.
Whew.
Okay, Smitty,
have a good time
in the army.
It's going
to be okay.
Congratulations, my boy. You're
in the army by two ounces.
Two ounces?!
Double crosser!
Just for that, you go
to bed without your supper.
...and that I will obey the
President of the United States...
All: ... And I will obey the
President of the United States...
...And the orders of the
officers appointed over me
according to the rules
and articles of war.
All: And the orders of the officers
appointed over me
according the the rules
and articles of war.
You men will report at the
High Street Armory at 7:00.
We will leave from the
railway station at 9:00.
Until then, dismissed.
I'm gonna go home
to my mama.
Will you get my hat, Martin?
I left it in the other room.
- Mr. Parker.
- Yes?
I've worked for you
for two years, haven't I?
- Yeah, that's right.
- Quite an experience.
I've carried you upstairs and put
you to bed any number of times.
- Why bring that up?
- I got you out of fights
with nightclub waiters and
gambling house bouncers.
- So?
- Remember that night I froze both my ears waiting for you?
And that little accident you had
where I took the rap and went to jail?
Look, Martin,
let's not reminisce.
But we're
in the army now
and I think it's time
I tendered my resignation.
- Very well, tender it.
- Yes, sir.
- What do you think of that?
- That gives me an idea.
- Turn on the heat and get me in the army, will you?
- So what?
- Why...
- No!
Well, what are you
waiting for?
- Detail!
- Detail!
- Halt!
- Halt!
Let the men fall out
until train time.
Yes, sir.
You men can fall out, but
don't go out of this area.
Say your goodbyes and when
I say, "fall in," be here.
Dismissed.
All right, girls,
you can go into action.
Cigarettes,
soldier?
Compliments
of the army.
Everything
all right here?
Oh, you look lonesome.
Won't you have an apple?
Cigarettes,
soldier?
Judy Gray, what are
you doing here?
- I joined the army.
- Go on.
Um-hmm. I'm a camp
hostess now.
It's something new.
We're going to try
to give the boys the feeling
that the camp is their home.
- Add the feminine touch.
- That'll make being drafted a lot more popular.
I think it's pretty popular right now.
- Your cigarettes, sir.
- Thanks.
See you later, Bob. Apples,
compliments of the army.
I'm sorry, sir,
but your mother's in sight.
- Go away. My mother?!
- Yes, sir.
Oh, that's all I need.
Scram, you beautiful things.
Come on, come on.
What is this?
She's coming
this way, sir.
Very good work,
Edmonds.
Fix your face, sir.
Fix your face.
Have an apple, boys?
Cigarettes?
Cigarettes?
Mrs. Parker:
Randolph, my boy.
- Hello, Mother.
- I phoned your father.
- Yeah?
- He'll have you out of this in no time.
- Did he say exactly when?
- Oh, a week at the most.
I suppose you'll just have to
make the best of the ordeal.
Pardon my saying so,
Mrs. Parker,
but it won't be an ordeal.
As a matter of fact,
a year in the army can do
a great deal for any man.
Just heaps.
Oh, I can understand how
it may benefit some men...
those who have
no advantages in their homes.
- I know, but...
- But his education and background
should certainly entitle him to
more than these other young men.
How can they make
a Yale man a private?
Would you care
for some chewing gum?
Yes, thanks.
- Have you got a lollypop?
- Um-hmm.
You like lollypops?
I'm a sucker
for these things.
Gee, she's a nice-looking
messenger boy-girl.
Oh, stop looking
at her.
I was only looking at her to
see if she was looking at me
to see if I was
looking at her.
Remember our
vaudeville days?
You remember
those three little girls
worked with us
on the same bill?
Oh, look over there.
Oh, the Andrews Sisters.
Oh, boy.
You're a lucky fellow,
Mr. Smith
To be able to live
as you do
And to have that swell
Miss Liberty Gal
Carrying the torch
for you
You're a lucky fellow,
Mr. Smith
Do you know
just how highly you rate
You should thank
your lucky stars and I mean
You should thank all 48
Man, you've really
got a family tree
With Washington, Jefferson,
Lincoln and Lee
You're lucky to have
ancestors like that
Don't you know you were born
with a feather in your hat?
You're a very,
very wealthy gent
I don't care
if you haven't a cent
You've got your
American way
And, brother,
that ain't hay
If some poor suckers
could choose
They'd love to be
in your shoes
That proves that your
good fortune's no myth
You're a lucky fellow,
Mr. Smith...
K Company,
fall in!
Troops: You're a lucky fellow, Mr. Smith
To be able to live
as you do
And to have that swell
Miss Liberty Gal
Carrying the torch
for you
You're a lucky fellow,
Mr. Smith
Do you know
just how highly you rate?
You should thank
your lucky stars and I mean...
You should
thank all 48
Man you've really
got a family tree...
Those bags are
too much for you.
- Why don't you get a redcap?
- Why should I get a redcap?
What's the matter with
the hat I've got on?
...ancestors like that
Don't you know you were born
with a feather in your hat...
You're a lucky fellow,
Mr. Smith
You can say that again, yes, ma'am
Can you use
some smokes?
Don't mind
if I do
Charge it
to your Uncle Sam
You're a lucky fellow,
Mr. Smith
You should really be
shouting with joy
Yes'm, that's just
what I'm doing
'Cause I'm Uncle Sammy's
fair-haired boy
Boys, you're rolling in
a lot of wealth
- Your speech is free
- Yes siree
- And you've got your health
- Sure we've got our health
And tell me why not?
Take a look at the great
constitution we've got
Say, this fella
we've been talking to
Might be our president
before he's through
And I mean that all...
All on the square
Well, say now,
I declare
You're blushing
red, white and blue
But, buddy,
that's all right, too
Because those colors
look good on you
You're a lucky fellow,
Mr. Smith
You're a lucky fellow
and if suckers could choose
They would love to be
in your little shoozies
That proves that
your good fortune's no myth
You're a lucky fellow,
Mr. Smith.
Oh, hello.
Hello.
Oh, you need
a light, soldier?
Yeah, thanks.
I didn't catch your name.
I didn't throw it.
- Don't go away.
- But I have to, I'm on duty.
A hostess' first duty is
to keep the soldiers happy.
And I will not be happy unless
we get better acquainted.
We have a full year
to become acquainted.
Yeah, but I'll be
out of the army in a week.
What's the matter,
Judy?
Just a fresh recruit
trying out
the manual of arms.
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, Bob, please.
It wasn't anything,
really.
Oh, Judy, we're running out of chewing gum.
Do you have
any to spare?
Yes, Patty.
I'm just telling you
to stay away from her.
I'll pick my own
company, Martin.
Maybe on Park Avenue, but not
in the army. Keep away from Judy!
Judy, eh?
Private stock?
- Why you...
- Mmmm-mmmm.
It's no good, huh?
Excuse me.
- You guys see my pal?
- No, I haven't.
You haven't seen him, huh?
I always did prefer
cinders to cigar smoke.
Do you boys mind if we
share this platform with you?
- No, not at all.
- Come right in.
We'll finish
our dance later?
You've got a date.
Come on and do
your duty.
Wham! There it is,
boys. Seven is a natural.
- Cleaned me.
- Talk about hot dice.
There goes my lesson
for today.
- What are you doing, boys?
- He just gave us a lesson in dice.
Dice?
What's dice?
It's a game.
Don't you play games?
Yeah, I play jacks.
- He plays jacks.
- I'm up to my foursies.
Oh, behave.
There's the game.
Will you teach me
how to play that?
Will I teach you
how to play it?
I should say
I will.
Will I teach him? There's
numbers on there from one to six.
Now, you roll 'em out and if
you should roll a one and a six,
that's a seven, that's a natural, you win.
Your roll a five and a two, that's
seven, that's a natural, you win.
You roll a four and a three, that's
seven, that's a natural, you win.
- That's all you do is win?
- Well, no.
- Oh, you can lose, too.
- Well, not often.
If you roll a one and a two,
that's craps, you lose.
If your roll two sixes,
that's craps, you lose.
You can win
and you can lose.
- That's it.
- That's fair.
See, seven you win
and craps you lose.
- Let's play.
- You want to play? You roll the dice.
- We play for money?
- Yes. Now how much do you want to bet?
- I'll bet $10.
- That's a good bet.
There you are.
Now good luck to you.
- Seven you win, craps you lose.
- Here I go.
- Go ahead.
- Whee!
Seven.
I win.
Wait, I forgot. Don't pick
up the money right away.
- I do get to pick it up.
- Yeah, sure, it's your money.
- Yeah.
- Yes, yes, yes. You roll 'em again.
How much you
want to bet?
- Fade that.
- "Fade that"?
Wait a minute.
Just a minute.
- Don't get so rough.
- Wait a minute.
- Where did you get that "fade that"?
- Did I say something wrong?
- No, you said it too darn right.
- I'm sorry.
You're sorry? You're sure you
never played this game before?
All right. There you are. Go ahead.
- Same thing?
- Same thing.
- Here I go again.
- Go ahead.
Wheee.
Seven again.
I win.
- Yes, you win again. I guess it's beginner's luck.
- Yeah.
What do you
want to bet now?
- Let it ride.
- "Let it ride"? Wait a minute.
- Just a minute.
- Hmmm!
Now, don't tell me you
got that out of thin air!
I heard it
at the clubhouse.
- That's what I thought.
- I must confess.
- Come on!
- Well, there was a bunch of boys in the clubhouse
and they had lumps of sugar and they was
throwing them out. I heard the boys say that.
- But you didn't play?
- They wouldn't let me, I was too young.
- Oh, that's different.
- Starting Tuesday I'm going out with girls.
I don't blame you.
That's all right.
- Go ahead.
- Okay.
I though you'd
played the game.
- Same thing?
- Same thing.
- Wheew!
- There you are, four.
- A little Joe.
- "Little Joe"?! Now wait a minute!
- Just a minute!
- Clubhouse! Clubhouse!
"Clubhouse," yes. You learned a
lot at that clubhouse, didn't you?
Four is your number.
But don't forget,
if you throw a seven before
you make that four you lose.
- Okay.
- Go ahead.
- I start?
- You start.
Uh-uh-uh-uh.
Uh-uh-uh.
- I'll be legitimate.
- Yeah, you'd better be.
Wham!
- Clubhouse.
- Um-hmm, clubhouse, eh?
- Three, you lose.
- How come?
- What'd you roll the first time?
- Four.
- What did you just roll?
- Three.
- Four and three is what?
- Seven.
Oh, you add 'em up? He didn't
say anything about adding them up.
- Go down to the clubhouse and learn that.
- That's not fair.
- We play my way now.
- I gotta use my money now?
For a change, yes. You've
used mine long enough.
Put it all down.
You don't care, do you?
All right, watch 'em.
Here they go.
- Six
- Six is the point.
Well, boys,
watch this one.
Six again,
you lose.
- No, I win.
- What'd you roll the first time?
- Six.
- What'd you just roll?
- Six. - Six and six is 12. Craps,
boxcars, big bennies, hh-hhhh.
Whistle toots:
I'm a bad boy.
Detail, halt!
Take it easy
for a few minutes, boys.
You'll be inoculated
as soon as the jam's over.
Hey, what are we waiting for? Let's go.
- Go ahead.
- Step up, boys, pick yourself a tie.
Hey, get a load
of them, fellas.
10c each, real silk.
Won't rip or tear.
See... Uh-oh. It must be
one of the cheap nickel ones.
- Put that grip away!
- Yes, sir.
- And don't sell any more ties out of that case!
- Yes, sir.
You heard what he said. Don't
sell no more ties out of that case.
- How does he expect us to make a living?
- That's easy.
Come on fellas. I've got ties. 10c each.
Next.
- I don't like this.
- Next.
Don't be scared.
The doctor takes a needle.
Like this, it's all over.
Be brave.
Next.
Don't push,
brother.
Hi, shorty.
- Next.
- Don't be scared, I'm right behind you.
Ouch!
I hope they're not out
of style when I get out.
Here, clean 'em, press 'em, give 'em a
double dose of moth balls and throw them away.
Detail, halt!
Right face!
At ease, men.
You may rest your equipment.
I'm Captain Williams, Commanding
Officer of this company
and, men, I'm just as new
to you as you are to me.
But we all have
the same job ahead of us.
And I believe we'll find it
an interesting one.
A great many people are
counting on our success...
people from all
the walks of life
who are contributing to this
great national defense program
just as much
as you or I.
I refer
to the factory workers,
the farmers,
the citizens
whose taxes are paying
for this training...
the people of America.
No one expects you to be
seasoned soldiers overnight,
but we're going to do
everything we can
to help you
in every possible way.
And I believe
if we all work together
that we'll make
K company a unit
of which any regiment
can be proud.
- Sergeant Callahan.
- Yes, sir?
- Appoint acting corporals and assign the men to tents.
- Yes, sir.
Sergeant, first seven men...
last tent on your left.
First seven men,
right face!
Next seven men... second
to last tent on your left.
I never knew you made your own bed at home.
I must have forgotten
to tell you.
Man:
Men, the new sarge!
- 21 bucks a month to be a chambermaid.
- Oh, fix it up.
Hello, boys,
I'm Collins, your Sergeant.
- Smitty, that voice is very familiar.
- Too familiar.
- Who's acting corporal here?
- I am, Sergeant.
Well...
this is going to be
more fun than I expected.
So you gentlemen are
in my section?
Not any more,
we're resigning.
- Herbie, pick up your things.
- Right.
Where are you going?
To collect
my social security.
You can't collect your social
security until you're 65.
Seeing you
I aged 35 years.
- Oh, put that down.
Put it... - Uh-oh.
- Well.
- It's a put up job. It's a frame up.
Never saw the stuff
before in all my life.
In that case, you'll
never miss this, will you?
- That'll cost you a dollar and a half.
- What?!
- Who said that? Not me.
Smitty,
I don't think
he likes me.
Not bad.
Not at all bad.
- Where did you learn to make up a bunk?
- Military school.
Why didn't you tell
the first sergeant?
You might have been made acting corporal.
You can have the whole army. By
Monday I'll be through with it.
Oh, so you're the one
they've been talking about.
- The dude with all the drag, huh?
- That's me, Sarge.
Only singing.
Hey, you with all the drag,
drag yourself over here
and see if you can show these
monkeys how to make up a bunk.
And you two
pay attention.
If you can't stand up
like a soldier,
let's see if you can
learn to sleep like one.
Sergeant, will you
tuck me in bed?
Ahhh!
Get rid
of that thing!
Throw it out!
Understand?!
Well, you heard what the
sergeant said. Throw it out.
Oooh!
Hello, Bob.
Having a little trouble?
Yeah, sort of.
You know, when you want
to write a letter to a girl
how would you
start a love letter?
There's only one way
to write a love letter.
Sweetheart,
my own
You don't know how
I miss you
Just thought I'd
drop a line
And let you know
I'm fine
Except I wish
you were here
I've been so blue
What I'd give
Just to kiss you
It rained
a bit tonight
But now the stars
are bright
Gee, but I wish
you were here
Each night
when lights are out
I make up dreams
about you and me
And like the fairy tales
I used to read
They all end happily
Sweetheart
My own
All:
How I long
To be with...
You
I miss you more
each day
All:
There's not much else...
To say
Except
I wish you
Were here.
Wonderful service.
I got an answer to my letter
before I even wrote it.
Army service.
Oh, I get it.
Nothing personal, huh?
I'll let you know
about that one later.
There's one thing you
could tell me right now.
Have you seen any more of my
ex-boss, if you know what I mean?
Uh-huh, I know what you
mean. I haven't seen him.
And I don't
intend to.
You don't know
that man like I do.
He'll be around.
But so will I.
Woman:
Oh, Judy.
You certainly get
the cute ones.
Miss Durling
wants to see you.
Thanks, honey.
Miss Gray, this is
Private Randolph Parker.
How do you do,
Miss Gray?
- I'm very anxious to meet you.
- How do you do?
Mr. Parker saw you in
the recreation hall tonight
and asked for
a formal introduction.
Yes, you see
I'm new around here
and I don't make friends
very easily.
So I thought if Miss
Durling could spare you,
you might
show me around.
You don't know
your way around?
Not in
this neighborhood.
Now run along,
you two.
- Take good care of her, Randolph.
- I'll do my best.
And thank you,
more than you know.
- I had to see you...
- This is the main recreation hall.
Soda, soft drinks and ice cream
may be purchased at the fountain
as well as candy, cigarettes,
cigars and razor blades.
- Look, Judy...
- In the reading room you'll find
the latest copies
of all magazines
as well as a carefully
selected library.
The post office is the
first building to the west.
- Which way is west?
- That way.
You go out
this door and turn...
Oh, I'd never
find that.
A Yale man.
There's the post office.
You can see it from here.
How about forgetting what
happened on the train?
What happened
on the train?
It's all your own
fault you know.
- My fault?
- Certainly.
Five double malts.
Why don't you order another and
make it and even half a dozen.
- I don't want to make a pig out of myself.
- Herbie.
Yes, Corporal?
Whoever touches the heads
of those double malts
dies like a dog... unquote.
Ask any man if he'd pass
up a chance to kiss you?
Nonsense.
I'll prove it to you.
Hey, soldier.
- Private Parker?
- Yes?
Captain Williams wants
to see you right away.
- Oh, excuse me.
- That's fine.
Maybe he's heard from the
old man. I'd better go.
- Of course.
- Wait here. I'll be right back.
Okay, Corp,
she's all yours.
Thanks, pal.
I think you'll find it
on the first shelf.
You may not know it,
but you've just been rescued.
What do you mean?
Captain doesn't want to see
Parker, but I want to see you.
Oh, I get it.
The old army game.
Hiya, neighbor.
How you feeling?
- Not a penny.
- Aw, now come on.
Herbie, did I ask you
for any money?
You've got that
look in your eye.
You cleaned me out in
that crap game, didn't you?
- You gave me a lesson, that's all I know.
- Do me a favor, loan me $50.
- Smitty, I can't. I can't lend you $50.
- Yes you can.
- No I can't. All I've got is $40.
- Give me the $40 and you owe me 10.
- Okay, I owe you 10.
- That's right.
How come
I owe you 10?
- What did I ask you for?
- 50.
- And how much did you give me?
- 40.
- So you owe me $10.
- That's right.
- You owe me 40.
- Don't change the subject.
I'm not changing the subject.
You're trying to change my finances.
Come on.
Give me my $40.
All right,
there's your $40.
- Now give me the $10 you owe me.
- I'm paying you on account.
- On account?
- On account I don't know how I owe it to you.
If that's the way you feel, it's the
last time I'll ever ask you for $50.
Wait a minute, Smitty.
How can I owe you $50 now?
- All I have is 30.
- Give me the 30 and you owe me 20.
This is getting worse
all the time.
First I owe him 10,
now I owe him 20.
Why do you run yourself into debt?
I'm not running in.
You're pushing me.
I can't help it if you
can't handle your finances.
- I do all right with my money.
- And you're doing all right with mine, too.
Wait a minute, I asked you
for $50, you gave me 30.
So you owe me $20 dollars.
20 and 30 is 50.
No, no, no.
25 and 25 is 50.
All right,
here's your $30.
Give me back
the 20 you owe me.
Fine guy...
won't loan a pal $50.
How can I loan you 50?
All I've got now is 10.
To show you that I'm your
pal, you want to double that?
Go ahead.
See you later.
I don't want that kind of
money. On the up and up, hold it.
Now take a number. Any
number at all from one to 10.
- Don't tell me.
- I got it.
- Is the number odd or even?
- Even.
- Is the number between one and three?
- No.
- Between three and five?
- No.
I think I got him.
- Between five and seven?
- Yeah.
- Number six.
- Right.
How did he do that?
Mmmmmm!
- See how I rolled that pack?
- Very neatly.
Some of you men have been
getting away with murder.
Brown...
let me see
you do it.
- Ain't this a fine thing for the army to give anybody?
- What's the matter?
By the time you get this thing rolled
and packed, you'd be too tired to fight.
- Snap into it, Brown.
- It's mutiny.
- How can you be so stupid?
- Oh, that just comes to me natural.
Goodbye, boys,
It's been nice knowing you.
Parker, where do you
think you're going?
I just saw my father
drive in, I thought I'd...
Never mind about that.
You stay here
until the instruction
period's over.
All right, Brown,
on his back now.
On his back.
No, not you,
you idiot!
The pack. Put the pack on his back.
I thought we were going to play piggy-back.
I haven't played since I was a kid.
- You're still a kid.
- I'm playing now.
Come on,
get it on.
You've got more left hands
than an entire company.
- That's good, huh?
- Quiet.
I'll pick it up later, kid.
I'll put it in my own pocket.
- Get up there.
- Give him a hand, Smith.
You know what he said.
Give me a hand.
Give him
a hand!
Oh, hello. What are you doing tonight?
You imbecile. Get your
silly carcass off of me.
Sergeant Collins.
I'll attend
to you later.
- What's cookin', Sarge?
- Get out of here!
Private Parker!
Report to brigade
headquarters, immediately.
Thanks, Sergeant.
Well, boys,
looks like this is it.
All right, Mr. Parker. We'll
try to see things your way.
Private Parker
reporting, sir.
- Captain Williams ordered me to report to you.
- At ease.
- Hello, Dad.
- Hello, son.
You're looking better
than your letters intimated.
I feel fine, but I thought
you'd forgotten about me.
Your mother didn't
give me a chance.
I came down here
as soon as I could.
Did you fix
everything up?
I had a little difficulty,
but everything's arranged.
That's fine.
- Why don't you take a look around while I get out of my uniform?
- I can't.
Why not?
'Cause I have to return
to Washington at once.
Because you're not
getting out of that uniform.
Dad, you just said...
That I'd just fixed
everything up. Well, I have.
It seems that your father
has a little more respect
for army life and army
institutions than you have, Parker.
We were quite ready to cooperate
with the Washington authorities...
But I talked them
out of it.
This camp may be short of sport
roadsters and chorus girls,
but it's excellently equipped
to make a man out of a playboy.
You're going to stay here
the full year...
and like it.
I'll be with you
In apple blossom time
Mmm-mmmm
I'll be with you
To change your name
to mine
Maybe one day
In May
I'll come and say
Happy the bride
That the sun
shines on today
Andrews Sisters:
What a wonderful wedding
There will be
What a wonderful day
For you and me
Church bells will chime
You will be mine
In apple...
Blossom time
I'll be with you
In apple blossom time
Chorus:
Then what will you do?
Then I'll be with you
To change your name
to mine
Men and women:
When will that be?
One day,
maybe in May
Men and women:
Then what will you do?
I'll come and say
to you, dear
Happy the bride
That the sun
shines on today
Andrews Sisters:
Then what...
A wonderful wedding
There will be
One day in May
What a very very
wonderful day
For you and me, dear
Church bells will chime
You will be mine
Maxene, LaVerne:
When?
In apple...
In apple blossom time.
Did I remember to say
thanks for keeping this date?
Mere curiosity.
- Curiosity?
- Uh-huh.
Why a certain soldier
decided to stay in the army...
that's gossip item
number one in camp.
Maybe he wanted
to be near you.
Of course.
It couldn't be
because the army
might do him some good.
What good?
My dad had some pretty
fair ideas about that.
He was a captain
in the fighting 69th.
I remember mother
telling me
how he always believed that
army life changed boys into men.
He always said it was the great leveler.
It doesn't care how much a man
has in the bank or how little.
All the army cares about is
how much of a man a man can be.
You're wasting your breath on him, Judy.
The captain wants
to see you at once.
Very funny. Tell him I
can't make it right now.
And on your way,
soldier.
Oh, no, this is as far as I go.
I said on your way!
I said this is
as far as I go.
All right, we'll just have to
pretend that you're not here.
Now then, Judy, about Sunday. How
do you think we should start our day?
Judy's promised to spend
her day off with me.
Why don't we let Judy
decide about that?
Martin, did you tell Parker
the captain wanted to see him?
- I did, Sergeant.
- What are you waiting for, an engraved invitation?
- I thought he was kidding.
- You get on over there.
Captain's been waiting so long
he's got corns on his hips.
Okay, Sarge.
Goodbye, Judy.
- And you, Martin.
- Yes, Sergeant?
That bed of yours looks like a
goat's nest. And your pillow...
What have you been doing,
picking a chicken?
- I left it in order.
- I suppose somebody else messed it up.
- Somebody did...
- You'll straighten it out. Now get going.
- Judy, I'll...
- Get going, soldier.
Don't tell me he needs a valet
to keep his things in order.
As a matter of fact,
he's rather neat about it.
It took me every bit of 10
minutes to scramble it up.
Say...
by the way,
isn't Sunday
your day off?
Oh, why, Sergeant?
One, two,
three, four.
Detail,
halt!
Get back there.
You first four men,
right face!
Forward, march!
Detail, halt!
Left face!
Order arms!
Ohh.
You four men are undoubtedly
the dumbest numbskulls
I've ever had the misfortune
of drilling. Private Smith,
fall out. Smith, you seem to
know what this is all about.
I want you
to take over these men,
drill them for half an
hour and see if you can
sweat some sense into them.
I'm exhausted.
The rest of you men,
follow me.
Forward, march!
Dick, put my gun
in the rack.
Attention!
- Never mind that.
- That's my pal.
- Big man, he's a captain.
- Wipe that smile off your face.
Wipe it off!
- Uhh...
- Quiet!
Quiet!
What are you doing?
- Talking to myself.
- Well, don't talk so loud!
- I've got to hear what I've got to say.
- Quiet!
- Count off.
- One...
- Two...
- Three, four...
- Bingo!
- You behave yourself! Do you understand?!
I won't warn you again.
Get your chins up!
Get your chest out!
Throw out your chest!
Get your chest out!
Throw it out!
- I'm not through with it yet.
- Quiet.
Right shoulder,
arms!
- Whoop!
- Come on.
- Pick it up.
- I thought I had it.
- Pick it up!
- All right!
- Come on, snap into it.
- What's the matter, big man now?
- Quiet!
- Okay, okay.
- Order, arms!
- I'll have a cap pistol.
You keep quiet!
I won't warn you again!
- All right.
- All right.
- Pick on somebody else.
- Quiet!
Right shoulder,
arms!
I said right shoulder, arms.
That's your left shoulder.
- I'm left handed.
- Get it over!
It feels better
over here.
Get it over there!
Get it over there!
Left shoulder, arms.
Right shoulder, arms.
Why don't you
make up your mind?
Get back there.
Come on!
- Right shoulder, arms. Left shoulder, arms...
- Quiet!
Do as you're told!
Order arms.
- Left shoulder, arms. Left shoulder, arms.
- Quiet!
Present, arms!
Come on,
I don't want it.
I don't want it!
- You want it?
- Put it up there?
Get it up!
Right face!
Come on,
come on.
Left face.
Turn with the rest of 'em!
That guy hit me!
Turn with the rest of them! Pick it up!
Right face!
Oh, come on!
Left face.
Pick up that gun.
Do as you're told. Turn
with the rest of them.
Pick it up!
Right face!
Right face!
Forward, march!
Halt! Halt!
Halt!
- Where are you going?
- I don't know.
You don't know?
Well, find out.
- Now get with it!
- What time?
None of your business.
About face!
Forward, march!
- Hi, fellas.
- Halt! Halt!
You guys are going
the wrong way.
Will you get
in line here!
I don't know. You got
me in this mess, brother.
Right face.
Forward, march.
Halt!
Right face.
Forward, march.
Halt!
Right face.
Forward march.
Halt!
Get a load of this.
Left, face!
Ah, gently.
Right face!
Right face!
Whew! What a time we had with them three.
Forward, march.
Herbie: My feet are killing me.
Mmmm, and do
these shoes hurt.
Well, no wonder. Look
what you've got in them.
How do you like that. And I
thought I had fallen arches.
- Boy, am I dumb.
- You are dumb.
And to prove to you
how dumb you really are,
suppose you had $5
in this pants pocket
and $10 in this pants
pocket. What would you have?
- The captain's pants on.
- There you are, you see...
What are you asking me
those kind of questions for?
- Why don't you ask me a nice easy one?
- All right.
- Ask me something about that big.
- Will you answer it?
All right,
say you're 40 years old...
- Who's 40?
- I mean just suppose...
If I was 40 years old, I wouldn't
be bathing my feet here in the water.
I wouldn't be in the army.
After all, I took my uncle's advice.
My uncle told me,
"Herbie, you go in the army. "
- What uncle?
- Uncle Sam.
- All right...
- He's my uncle, your uncle.
He's everybody's uncle
in the army.
- I understand.
- He's the only relative I've got.
- I like my Uncle Sam.
- We all do.
Answer this question.
You're 40 years old
and you're in love with a
little girl say 10 years old.
This one's going
to be a pip.
- Wait till I finish. - Now I'm
going around with a 10-year-old girl.
- Wait a minute.
- You've got a good idea where I'm going to wind up.
You're 40 and in love with this
little girl that's 10 years old.
Now, you're four times
as old as that girl.
- You couldn't marry her.
- Not unless I come from the mountains.
- There you go...
- Why don't you ask me...?
Wait till I finish this.
You're 40, she's 10.
You're four times
as old as that girl.
You couldn't marry her,
so you wait five years.
Now the little girl
is 15, you're 45.
You're only three times
as old as that little girl.
So you wait
15 years more.
Now the little girl
is 30, you're 60.
You're only twice as old
as that little girl.
- She's catching up.
- Well, yes, yes.
Now here's the question,
how long do you have to wait
before you and that little
girl are the same age?
Well?
What kind of question
is that?
- Answer the question.
- That's ridiculous.
- What's ridiculous?
- If I keep waiting she'll pass me up.
- What are you talking about?
- She'll wind up older than I am.
- Then she'll have to wait for me.
- Why should she wait for you?
- I was nice enough to wait for her.
- Aw, go to bed.
Girl don't want to marry me,
she don't have to marry me.
- That's silliness.
- I like her, I'll marry her.
Wait a minute, where are you
putting that water?!
- Throw it out.
- Brown, Smitty...
You! You,
I'll strangle you!
I'm a bad boy.
Man:
Ready, aim...
fire.
- Nice shooting.
- Nice shooting, fellas.
Soldier:
Boy, that's swell.
Great shooting, Parker.
Great shooting.
Here, keep this
and have it framed.
What for? It isn't half as
tough as a round of skeet.
It's a shame. He's just
as good as he thinks he is.
He's plenty good
with a gun all right.
You're not
so bad yourself.
Man: Fire!
- How're the men doing, Sergeant?
- First in the regiment.
Oh yeah, I've got some
Tennessee boys in my company
that can shoot the spots out of
the five of spades at 300 yards.
You call
that shooting?
Why, our boys
at 500 yards
can shuffle
a deck of cards
Maybe we can cook up
a five-man match.
Any day.
Well, boys,
our fortunes are made.
Every dime of this company's money
is on that rifle match tomorrow.
Over $500.
- Including my buck and a half.
- Including the works.
- We're all in but Parker.
- Won't he bet on himself?
- Collins said not to tell him.
- Why not?
Well, the sarge figures
that there's not enough
L company money
to cover that millionaire's
idea of a small bet.
- What odds did you get?
- Herbie's placing the money.
- All: Herbie?!
- Don't get excited boys.
With his baby-face,
they'll feel sorry for him.
They're apt to give him
five to four or seven to five.
Five to four or seven to five?
I got us a real bet.
- You did?
- 10 to one.
10 to one. Certainly, that's the boy...
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Who put up the 10?
I did. 10 of ours to one of theirs.
- 10 to one.
- You did?!
Mm-hmm.
What's the matter?
Did I do
something wrong again?
Sergeant: Parker.
How's your trigger finger, my boy?
I... I haven't made up
my mind yet.
Good afternoon,
ma'am.
You're going
my way?
Hello.
If you're
waiting for Martin,
he won't be able
to keep his date.
Oh.
- Oh, I see. The captain wanted to see him.
- No.
He's shooting with the
company rifle team. Hear him?
I thought you were
the star of the team.
I was until this morning. Then the
strangest thing happened to my wrist.
I could hardly move it.
So when I told
Captain Williams about it,
he replaced me with the
sixth man on the score-sheet.
- And Bob was the sixth man, of course.
- Of course.
- How does your wrist feel now?
- What do you think?
And you walked out
on your rifle team
just to chisel a date
with me, is that it?
You're a lot more attractive
than any target in this camp.
The men you sold out
in your company
bet every cent they had
on the team, on you.
They did?
I didn't know that.
I'll make their losses good.
- With what, money?
- What else?
It's just that easy
for you, isn't it?
I'll tell you one thing, there's no
price tag on loyalty or friendship.
I didn't ask for this uniform.
Why should I take it seriously?
After what you did today,
the only friend you'll have
is the guy who looks
at you out of the mirror.
And if he had any sense,
he'd stay as far away
from you
as I'm going to.
Wait a minute!
Hello, boys. I'm sorry
we lost the rifle match.
What do you
mean "we"?
I'll make your losses good if
you'll tell me how much you dropped.
I think I'll take a walk. There's
a strange smell around here.
Wait a minute, boys,
I said I was sorry.
What do you want me to do,
back flips?
Yeah, wise guy, and we're
the boys that can flip you.
- Now listen, you...
- Don't you sock him, Henry.
Come on, boy.
Give it to him, Bob.
Ooh, it's the sergeant.
Move... move it.
It's the sergeant.
Ooh!
- We'll finish this later.
- You mean I will.
Herbie, the light.
The light.
No, no, no, turn it out.
What kind of a brawl
is going on in here?
Don't you recruits
dummy up on me.
Oh, so it's you, eh?
Yeah, it's me. I wasn't doing
anything. I wasn't doing any fighting.
I guess that's how
you got that black eye, huh?
Yeah...
I got a black eye?
- Ooh.
- Dry up.
Keep quiet or you'll
find yourself on KP.
I don't want to hear
another peep out of this tent.
- Douse that light.
- Okay.
It won't go out.
What a life.
What an army and what a
sergeant to have in the army.
Give me liberty or give
me death. That's me.
Who's playing
that radio?!
- Nobody, it's playing by itself.
- Turn it off!
Be quiet in here.
The men have to get up
at 5:45 in the morning.
- Go on and play it.
- You heard what the guy said.
What are you worrying about
him? He's only the sergeant.
What, are you scared of him?
Play the radio loud.
What did I tell you?!
Didn't I tell you
the men were sleeping?
Didn't I tell you they have to
get up at 5:45 in the morning?!
Well now don't play it!
Go on and play it.
- You're an American citizen, aren't you?
- Hmm.
This is a free country, isn't
it? Go on and play the radio.
If he come in here again,
I'll tell him off.
- You'll tell him?
- You leave it to me.
Play it.
- Didn't I say not to play that thing?!
- Yeah.
- Didn't I say the men were sleeping?
- When are you gonna tell him?
- What are you going
to do about it?
- Look here, Brown, I don't like wise guys.
- Sorry.
Next wisecrack out of you, somebody's
going to punch you right in the nose.
I'd like to see
you do it.
I'll do it all right.
Why don't you be quiet
like your buddy here?
Now remember, the next
wisecrack out of you,
I'll punch you
right in the nose.
Yes you will.
Yes I will!
Yes I will!
When are you
gonna tell him?
Nobody loves me.
Who's got
a pencil and paper?
I'm going
to write the President
of the United States
a letter.
- What the matter now, Herbie?
- I'm going to hand in my notice.
Don't look now,
brother,
but you're
missing a leg.
What are you,
a wise guy or a salesman?
I've been around.
Did I hear a radio
playing in here?
- There's no radio in here.
- Don't let me hear any carousing.
- Yes, ma'am
- What?
- Yes, sir.
- That's better.
- You've got to be
one or the other.
- Go ahead and play it.
- You heard what the sergeant said.
Never mind him.
I'll take care of him.
- It's a free country, ain't' it?
- Yes.
- You an American citizen?
- Yes.
Go ahead and play it.
And loud.
You know...
Wait a minute.
- Take it easy,
I'm on your side.
Please be my friend.
That sergeant
always makes me boil
I'd like to fry
that guy in oil
No matter what you do
he's always squawkin'
But you just wait
and don't forget
I'll get to be
a captain yet
And that's the day
that I'll do all the talkin'
Men: Three cheers for the
red, white, and Captain Brown
Hip, hip, hip, hooray...
My buddies!
- What did you do?
- I'll scramble it later.
When I become
a captain
The title will be
strictly unofficial
I won't be
highfalutin
Forget about salutin'
Just step up and call me
by my first initial
Men: Three cheers for the
red, white and Captain B
Hip, hip, hip, hooray!
My buddy!
Snow this time
of the year?
It's marvelous.
Well, I'll see you later.
When I become
a captain
They'll be no bugle calls
to spoil your slumber
There'll be no KP duties and
we'll draft a bunch of cuties
And instead of doing drills
we'll do the rumba...
What are you doing?!
Men: Three cheers for the
red, white and Captain Brown
Hip, hip, hip,
hooray!
What do you think
is wrong with this army?
I'm glad you asked me
that, my friend,
and I can tell you
in just two words:
Pa-lenty!
Get the rest of the boys
down here, I'll tell you.
Come on,
fellas.
Now, the way I see it,
There's too much cold
and too much heat
Too many MPs walking a beat too
many hikes and too many marches
Too many feet
with fallen arches
Too much water in the soup, too
many pairs of pants that droop
Too many orders, too many drills,
iodine and quinine pills
Too much mud and too much rain
too many aches and too much pain
Too many blisters, too many corns too
many drums and too many horns, whhaaaaa
Too much working
like a slave
Too many spots
that need a shave
Too many rules
and too much law
Well it's the darndest mess
I ever saw
Three cheers for the red,
white and Captain Brown
Hip, hip,
hip, hip
Hooray.
So you want to be
a captain, huh?
Well, I've had a talk
with the general about you
and we've decided
to make you an admiral.
Admiral?
Ooh, ooh.
Do they have admirals
in the army?
Sure, we're going to put you
in charge of all the vessels.
Oh, goody.
Three cheers for the red,
white and Captain Brown...
Vessels!
Hip, hip, hip,
hooray!
Hiya, boys.
Good fight, huh?
There's a couple
of seats over there.
Excuse me.
All: Oh!
Hello, Judy,
can I see you a minute?
Excuse me.
Next bout
four rounds!
Private Bill McGuire
of L Company...
...challenges any man...
particularly any man
from K company!
Men, are we going to backwater
and let them get away with that?
- Men: No!
- Are we?
- What are you looking at me for?
- Certainly not.
Not after the way those L men
clipped us in that rifle match.
Yeah, that rifle match.
Remember that, boys?
Who's going to stand up and
volunteer for the honor of K Company?
Somebody over here
should volunteer over there.
Well, who's going
to stand up and volunteer?
Wow!
That's the proper
company spirit!
Come on, I've got some trunks
that will fit you perfectly.
I don't want
to fight that guy.
I ain't even
mad at him.
You mean to say you're scared
of that little guy over there?
I mean to tell you
that I'm...
- Is that the guy I'm going to fight?
- Yeah.
Tell that fella
to stay in the ring.
- He's a pushover.
- Sure.
Boy, I can picture myself now. The place
is crowded, I'm coming down the aisle,
I jump in the ring,
I throw off my robe,
and the whole crowd
lets out a terrific roar.
- What happened?
- I forgot to put on my pants.
Come on.
Come on.
Okay, boys, okay.
Relax, entertain yourselves
till Private Brown
gets into his fighting togs.
He was a famous trumpet man
from out Chicago way
He has a boogie style
that no one else could play
He was the top man
at his craft
But then his number came up
and he was gone with the draft
He's in the army now
a blowin' reveille
He's the boogie woogie
bugle boy of Company B!
They made him blow a bugle
for his Uncle Sam
It really brought him down
because he couldn't jam
The captain seemed
to understand
Because the next day the cap
went out and drafted a band
And now the company jumps
when he plays reveille
He's the boogie woogie
bugle boy of Company B
A-toot, a-toot-
a-toot-diddelyada-toot
He blows it eight to the bar,
in boogie rhythm
He can't blow a note
unless the bass and guitar
Is playing with him
He makes the company jump
when he play reveille
He's the boogie woogie
bugle boy of Company B
He was the boogie woogie
bugle boy of Company B
And when he played
boogie woogie bugle
He was busy
as a "bzzz" bee
And when he plays he makes the
company jump eight to the bar
He's the boogie woogie
bugle boy of Company B
Toot-toot-toot,
toot-diddelyada
Toot-toot,
he blows it eight to the bar
He can't blow a note
if the bass and guitar
Isn't with himmmmmm
A-a-a-and the company jumps
when he plays reveille
He's the boogie woogie
bugle boy of Company B
He puts the boys to sleep
with boogie every night
And wakes them up the same
way in the early bright
They clap their hands
and stamp their feet
Because they know how he plays
when someone gives him a beat
He really breaks it up
when he plays reveille
He's the boogie woogie
bugle boy of Company B
Da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da
And the company jumps
when he plays reveille
He's the boogie woogie
bugle boy of Company B.
Take it easy.
Funny how some people never
get wise to themselves.
Hey, what am I,
a yardbird?
Presenting the human buzzsaw
of K Company, Herbie Brown!
I'll take it easy with you, kid,
I won't hurt you.
Thattaboy,
champ.
Oh, ain't it cute?
My heart that belongs
to Herbie.
Now listen, kid,
when you get out there,
give him that old one-three...
one-three.
- What happened to two?
- Two you get.
Right.
Huh?
You're too light for him,
so they sent me in.
Gee, thanks.
Thattaboy, champ.
And as referee of this
special event...
Sergeant Collins
of K company!
All right, boys,
instructions,
Come back here!
Come on.
What's the matter with you?
Come on.
All right,
you boys know the rules:
no fighting in the clinches, break
clean, and no hitting below the belt.
- You mean I can't do that?
- No, you can't do that.
- You can't do this with your thumb.
- I can do that?
That's all right
but you can't do that.
- Back to your corners
and commence fighting.
I don't want to fight.
Get in there
and fight.
Mix it up.
Where is he?
You can't find me.
Oh! It didn't hurt.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine...
Count, count,
count!
All right, mix it up.
Herbie, give him the one-three.
The one-three.
- Herbie: Huh?
- Okay, break...
One, three,
one, three.
Two!
- All right, break...
- Ooh, what a pretty picture.
- Oh, you like it?
- Yeah.
- One!
- Come on, count!
- Two.
- I think I can get up.
Three. Shall I get you some water?
- Come on!
- Three and a half.
Three and three
quarters.
Give him a chance.
Give him a chance.
Come on, now,
mix it, boys.
Herbie, give him
the old shoestring gag.
Hey, your shoelace
is untied.
Which one?
- Two, four, six...
- Wait a minute!
What's this "two, four,
six, eight, 10"?
What happened to one,
three, five, seven and nine?
- I don't like them numbers. They're odd.
- Put 'em in, I like 'em.
Break it up.
You feel all right? You've got
the best of him, haven't ya?
You'd like to go
20 rounds, wouldn't you?
I know.
What a lucky guy
that guy is.
The bell
just saved him.
I want you to go out there this
round and just keep wearing him down.
What are you trying to do, make me
look bad in there? Aw, you're a...
Come here a minute. Look
at him, he's all worn out.
You're fresh as a daisy.
Shut off
that alarm clock.
All right, you guys.
Come on.
- Full marching order in 15 minutes.
- Yes, sir.
K Company, full marching
order in 15 minutes!
K Company present
and accounted for, sir.
- March your company off.
- Yes, sir.
Right shoulder,
ho!
Right face!
Forward, ho!
- I'm going to write my congressman about this.
- Yeah, what's the idea?
Quiet, no talking
in the ranks!
Cover!
What'd I have
to join the army for?
- Defend your native soil.
- Well, they don't have to feed it to me.
- What is this all about?
- Looks like a sham battle to me.
- Sham battle?
- Yeah.
I should have
stayed home in bed.
Good morning, ladies and
gentlemen of the radio audience.
This is Mike Frankovitch
speaking to you directly
from the central
observation point
for the most extensive
army maneuvers ever
attempted by the United States
in peacetime.
Just remember
you're being watched
by umpires, by staff officers
whose duty it will be
to report on the conduct
of every company.
Unofficially,
I can tell you
that the company
receiving the best report
will be named top company
of this regiment.
How can the umpire figure out the right
answer if we don't really shoot the other guy?
That's easy.
Everybody knows that.
All you do is...
you tell him.
With a book of rules.
For example, if 10 of
our men of the white army
catch up with 8 men
of the blue army,
we outnumber them,
so we've captured them.
They cut loose
five of their tanks
against one of ours,
our tank is destroyed.
We have a plane that drops a flour
sack... that is supposed to be a bomb.
If it lights on a battery
of field artillery,
the battery is wiped out.
You understand?
Yeah, but how do I know
if I get killed?
The umpire hangs
a sign on you reading,
"This mug is as dead
as he looks. "
You see, that's
the only way they could...
All the latest developments in
mechanized air and land equipment
are being employed
in this extensive maneuver.
Present here to observe
these maneuvers
in addition to commanding
officers of the two opposing armies
are high ranking officials
of the War Department
as well as military observers
from Central and South America.
Take cover over here
on signal, men.
All right, up.
Wait a minute.
Where's Herbie?
Where's...?
Herbie, how did you
get up in that tree?
How did I get
up in the tree?
I sat on it
when it was an acorn!
Mmm-mmmm-mmmm.
Mike: Latest reports
from the front indicate
that the blue army is rapidly
approaching the Schuylerton Reservoir
and it appears certain that they
will gain control of that vital spot
and be declared the winner
of these maneuvers.
Men, three miles
west of here is a blockhouse.
That's a marker
for the Schuylerton Reservoir.
Our section has been
given the vital job
of getting to that blockhouse
and blowing it up
before it can be surrounded
by the blue army.
We've got orders here to split
up into three patrols of four men.
Each patrol will attempt
to gain the objective
from a different approach.
One must get through
and blow up that blockhouse
before it's captured
by the blue army.
Now the first patrol,
Corporal Martin in charge,
Parker, Smith
and Brown.
Toss up your rifles.
No, come on.
Me, me.
- Stand still.
- Bob: Shake a leg, Smitty.
Wait a minute.
Hold still now.
Lift me up.
Come here...
nobody.
- Come on.
- Wait for me, will you?
All right,
come on, fellas.
Martin!
Look out, Smitty.
That's loose rock.
Climb on up
to the next ledge.
Grab my ankle.
Climb up over me.
Work your way around that
next ledge and go back.
Thanks, fella,
you saved my life.
You owe me a nickel.
- You all right?
- Yeah.
Let's go.
Your inexperienced soldiers
have done a fine job
holding out
as long as they did.
They have done splendidly, but
the maneuver isn't lost yet.
One of our patrols
hasn't been captured
and it's just possible that those
men might reach their objective.
Bob: It looks like we got
here ahead of the blue army.
Yep.
Go on, get down there
and blow up the blockhouse.
So you can tell Judy how you gave
me a chance to be a hero? Oh no.
It's better than her thinking I
grabbed the glory by outranking you.
Go on, get going.
Look, blue army patrol
heading for the blockhouse.
Give me your pistol,
quick.
- What are you going to do?
- Surround the blues with a whole company.
- What?
- You blow up the blockhouse.
I'll attract their attention
and draw them away.
Why those kid soldiers.
I'll bet not one of them comes
within a mile of that blockhouse.
Not a chance
with every road covered.
Let's get over there
and hoist blue flags.
What the?
There might be more
of them than us,
but we've got to get over
there and head them off.
Come on,
up and at 'em.
Well, hello, boys.
Looking for me?
Well, there you are,
Parker.
I've been looking
all over camp for you.
Why aren't you over
with the other fellas?
They seem a bit allergic
to me or hadn't you noticed?
Report to brigade
headquarters, immediately.
Thanks, Sergeant.
Private Parker, sir. Captain
Williams ordered me to report to you.
- At ease.
- Hello, son.
Hello, Dad,
nice seeing you.
General Emerson has
some news for you.
A transfer to the
Officers' Training School.
- No thank you, sir.
- Don't you want a commission?
I want one
very much, sir,
but I've heard that it's possible
to get an appointment from the ranks.
Thanks for
the string-pulling, Dad.
I had nothing to do
with this transfer.
That's right. You were
recommended by your colonel
along with other men
who've shown exception ability.
Thank you, sir.
Hello, Randy,
how're you feeling?
You sure put it
over, pal.
- Howdy, Randy.
- Hello, Randy Boy.
Nice going,
soldier.
Save me
a dance later.
And remind me to give you my phone number.
Thattaboy,
soldier.
Say, what kind
of beat is that?
Man, that really
spins my hat
Doesn't sound like
boogie woogie
But it's really
got a beat
Maxene, LaVerne: Seems
to us that it's in four
Let us hear it
just once more
Come on and latch
onto that rhythm
All: 'Cause a solid boy's my meat
Some folks like to hear
eight-beat rhythm
I don't go
for that stuff no more
Anytime you really want
to send me
Bounce me, brother,
with a solid four
Come on in,
the whole place is jumpin'
Everybody's out
on the floor
If you want
to keep the rhythm pumpin'
Bounce me, brother,
with a solid four
The boogie woogie
was never like this
We've got a new beat
that no one can miss
If boogie woogie
sent you like I think it did
Four to the bar
will flip your lid
Move the tables
and roll the rug up
Shut the windows
and lock the door
While I try to dig
the little brown jug up
Bounce me, brother,
with a solid four
Da-da-da-da-
da-da-da-da-da
Clank, clank,
clank, clank
The joint is jumping
as it never did before
Clank, clank, clank
They're saying bounce me,
brother, with a solid four.
The boogie woogie
was never like this
We've got a new beat
that no one can miss
If boogie woogie sent you
like I think it did
Four to the bar
will flip your lid
Move the tables
and roll the rug up
Shut the windows
and lock the door
While I try to dig
the little brown jug up
Bounce me, brother,
with a solid four.
- Randy!
- Hello, Randy.
- I'll buy you a soda.
- I'll buy you a man's drink... a double malted.
- I thought you guys were broke.
- Broke? Does this look like we were broke?
We just about busted the blue
army at 10 to one, thanks to you.
- To me?
- Yes, Bob's told us
and everybody else
how you won the sham battle.
- Bob told you.
- Yeah.
It's really something, overcoming
the handicap of being a millionaire.
Gee, I wish I was
handicapped like that.
May I have this dance,
soldier?
What are we waiting for?
Make way, boys.
Another handicap.
- Excuse me.
- Hello, boys.
Did I clean out
the blue army?
Did you? What about us? Show him, Herbie.
Look what I won.
- Did you ever shoot dice?
- Dice, no.
Shall we
step in here?
I would be glad to accept
your most cordial invitation.
- Come along.
- Clubhouse.
- No cutting, I'm sorry.
- Who wants to cut?
- The captain wants to see you.
- Oh, not that old gag.
Look, pal, this is my last night in
camp and last dance with our girl.
Now isn't that a coincidence. Mine, too?
- You, too?
- Officers' Training School in the morning.
Oh, that's swell, Bob.
Congratulations.
And thanks for everything.
- What for?
- Never mind.
- We're going...
- Both: to miss you a lot, Judy
Oh, no you're not.
Both:
Oh, yes we are.
- All right, you take it.
- I'm going to miss you, Judy.
I don't think so,
because it so happens
that I've been
transferred, too.
Don't tell me that they have hostesses
at the Officers' Training School.
Now isn't that
a coincidence?
- We're lucky fellas.
- Mr. Smith.
You're a lucky fellow,
Mr. Smith
Look around you
and get a good view
In the shops and stores
and down in the mines
Everybody works
for you
There are farmers
plowing in the soil
And the factories
are running full speed
Just to back you up 100%
And to follow
where you lead
Wheels are turning
and they're hard at work
The wealthy man,
little man, banker and clerk
They're punching for you
so you do your part
All the power they need
is the beat of your heart
We're 130 million strong
And we're sticking with you
right along
This is really
your lucky day
So, buddy,
what do you say?
All: Just throw your hats to the sky
Up where the stars
and stripes fly
And keep your country
rolling it high
You're a lucky fellow,
Mr. Smith.