Bugs Bunny's Easter Special (1977) Movie Script

Bugs Bunny's Easter Funnies.
Starring Bugs Bunny
and all his friends:
Sylvester and Tweety,
Daffy Duck. Yosemite Sam...
...Porky, Elmer Fudd, Foghorn Leghorn,
Pepe Le Pew...
...and Granny.
Oh. mercy me. It's a catastrophe.
If you are ill, how will
you ever deliver eggs this year?
Goodness gracious. Granny. don't you
think I'm worried about that also?
We must get a substitute
to! the Easter bunny light away.
It won't be easy. Granny.
I've got the perfect solution.
How about Bugs Bunny? He's a rabbit.
Bugs Bunny?
Oh. that's a great idea, Granny. Good luck.
Okay. set up the next scene.
I really would like to be
your Easter bunny. Granny...
...but my contract says
I've gotta finish my pictures.
Oh. deal. I'm so disappointed.
Quiet on the set. Okay, roll them.
Noble knights of the Hound Table.
Ever since the accursed Black Knight
captured our Singing Sword...
...evil times hath befallen us.
One oi ye knights
must recover the Singing Sword.
The Black Knight
has a file-breathing dragon.
But-- But-- But--
But the Black Knight is invincible.
Odds bodkins.
Hath the Knights of the Hound Table
turned chicken?
Okay. Bugs. we're ready 10! you.
They want me on the set. Granny. but
stick around. We'll work something out.
Oh. what a darling rabbit.
He'd be perfect as an Easter bunny.
Only a fool would go after
the Singing Sword.
- A good idea, fool.
Unless you bring back
the Singing Sword...
...you will be put to the lack...
...burned at the stake and beheaded.
Be-- Be-- Beheaded?
They're ready 10!
the curtain sequence. Bugs.
See you in a bit, Granny.
All light. Quiet on the set.
This is a take. Roll them.
So this is the Singing Sword. Big deal.
I wonder why they call it
the Singing Sword.
Drop that sword, Varmint.
The Singing Sword's been stolen.
Wake up, fire-breathing lizard.
Stop breathing on me. you idiot.
Heh-heh. that was simple.
Whoa. dragon. Whoa.
Stupid dragon.
How's the water. doc?
Open that bridge. Varmint!
Open ii. I say!
Close it! Close it! Close it up again!
Okay, rabbit, you forced me to use force.
Hiyah. dragon! Hiyah. dragon!
Hiyah. dragon!
Prepare yourself, rabbit.
I'm a-coming over the wall.
You'll pay 10! this. Varmint.
You idiot.
No. No. Don't sneeze.
you stupid dragon.
OI you'll blow us to the moon.
Dragons is so stupid.
Feel like picking up the hillbilly
square-dance sequence. Bugsy?
That's why I'm here. pal.
Okay. 'fellas. set up
the hillbilly dance number.
Excuse me. madam.
but I understand...
...you're looking for somebody
to play the part of an Easter egg.
Oh. deal me. no. not an Easter egg.
Wrong costume. huh?
Well. I'll just sashay
back to the wardrobe...
...and see you later, sister.
An Easter egg. Oh, that Daffy Duck...
...he's so silly.
Quiet on the set. This is a take.
[IN HIGH VOICE] You'll care to practice
with me 10! the square dancing tomorrow?
Delighted. ma'am.
Same likewise. I'm sure. ma'am.
Oh. pardon me.
One of you gents got a spare nickel
so as I can juice up the jukebox?
- Here you is.
- Ma'am.
Thanks just all to pieces.
Sourbelly Trio. Coming light up.
Let's all square dance.
Places all
Bow to your comer
Bow to your own
Three hands up and round you go
Break it up with a do-si-do
Chicken in the bread pan kicking out dough
Skip to my Lou, my darling
The old lady, out you pretty little thing
Promenade around the ring
Big foot up and little foot down
Make that big foot gather round
The lady steps back and two gents in
Back you go and forward again
Step right up with an elbow swing
Skip to my Lou, my darling
Allemande left with the old left hand
Follow through with a right-left grand
Meet your honey with a great big smile
Promenade Indian-style
[SINGING] Promenade across the our
Sashay right an out the dour
Out the dour and into the glade
And everybody promenade
Step right up, you're doing fine
I'll pull your beard you pull mine
Yank it again like you did before
Break it up with a tug of war
Now into the brook and fish for the trout
Dive right in and splash about
Trout, trout, pretty little trout
One more splash and come right out
Shake like a hound dog, shake again
Wallow around in the old pigpen
Wallow some more, you all know how
Roll around like an old fat sow
Allemande left with your left hand
Follow through with a right-left grand
Now leave your partner, the dirty old thing
Follow through with an elbow swing
Grab a fence post, hold it tight
Whomp your partner with all your might
Hit him in the shin, hit him in the head
Hit him again. the critter ain't dead
Whop him low and whop him high
Stick your finger in his eye
Pretty little ringing, pretty little sound
Bang your heads against the ground
Promenade all around the room
Promenade like a bride and groom
Open up the dour and step right in
Close the door and into a spin
Whirl, whirl, twist and twirl
Jump all around like a flying squirrel
Now don't you cuss and don't you swear
Just come right out and form a square
Now right hand over and left hand under
Both join hands and run like thunder
Over the hill and over the dale
Duck your head and lift your tail
Don't you stray and don't you roam
Turn around and promenade home
Corn in the crib and wheat in the sack
Turn your partner, promenade back
And now you're home.
Bow to your partner.
Bow to the gent across the hall.
And that is all.
Bravo, Bugs. That was beautiful.
Guess who?
- How's this, Granny?
-Merciful heavens.
Oh. I'm really sorry.
You're not what I had in mind.
I think I got an idea
that might work. Granny.
When I finish this next sequence...
...I'll introduce you to a couple of talented
friends of mine. They might help.
- Barbra Streisand and Clint Eastwood?
-No. Sylvester and Tweety Pie.
DIRECTOR: All set, Bugsy?
Roll 'em.
Well. here I am.
Hey. just a cotton-picking minute.
This don't look like
the Coachella Valley to me.
Hm. I knew I should have taken
that left turn at Albuquerque.
Oh, well, I'll just ask this gent
in the fancy knickerbockers.
I beg your paid--
Pardon me. sir.
but could you direct me...
...to the shortest route to the Coachella
Valley and the big carrot festival therein?
Meh. what's up. doc?
Stop steaming up my tail.
What are you trying to do. wrinkle it?
Let's see now. Coachella Valley. Hmm.
Into Las Vegas, San Bernardino.
Of course, you realize this means war.
Ah. Me public.
Ha-ha-ha. What a gulli-bull.
What a nin-cow-poop.
Well. he asked 10! it.
And I really need somebody
to play the part of an Easter bunny.
Hey. that's you. Sylvester.
you're a great actor.
You've got class. style.
That's true, of course. Now let's
examine my stunning technique.
A circus. Suffering succotash.
I love circuses .
Oh. boy. Pink lemonade. cotton candy...
Well. I must be early. no one's here yet.
Lion, king of the cats
King of the cats, eh?
Well, you're not my king.
You wanna be king. eh?
Okay. king. I'm clowning you.
A Tweety Bird.
A Tweety Bird?
I thought I saw a pussycat.
I did. I did see a pussycat.
Nyah. nyah.
Uh-oh. Here comes that pussycat again.
Hello. pussycat.
Well. I guess
that solves my lion problem.
I just don't think this dumb old pussycat
can play an Easter bunny. Granny.
Just a minute, buster. Let the lady
make up he! own mind.
Watch me in this one. Granny.
I'm only stupendous.
Our new member
has come to us 10! help.
Would someone volunteer
to tell what BA has done 10! him?
I was a three-bird-a-day pussycat...
...until BA helped me.
Fellow members,
from now on my motto is:
Birds is strictly for the birds.
Good morning.
my little feathered friend.
I got it beat.
My willpower is indomitable.
TWEETY: Deal Diary. I know
you won't believe this. but today...
Let's see what's cooking on TV.
After a basting...
...you'll find that your bird
will come out golden brown.
Every succulent morsel...
...will simply melt in your mouth.
How easy the white meat slices, huh?
Yum. yum!
Doesn't that look--
I gotta stop myself.
There. Now I won't be
able to get the bird.
Oh, Mr. Pussycat,
don't you like me anymore?
L-- I think I think--
I think you're--
I think you're delicious!
I'm sorry I had to do that.
I was afraid you might be weakening.
Yes. I did weaken. Thanks a lot.
Uh-oh. Here we go again.
One little bird. just one. Just one. Yeah.
No one will know the difference.
No one. No one. Just one, then I'll quit.
I'll quit after one. Just one.
Just one. Just one little bird. Just one
One. One.
I can't stand it.
I gotta have a bird.
I'm weak. I'm weak. but I don't care.
I can't help it. After all. I am a pussycat.
Oh. come now.
There's no need 10! this demonstration.
Birds and cats can live together
with brotherly love. Watch.
Come here. little bird.
You see? I really love birds.
- Stop it.
- Let me go. Let me go. I gotta have it.
- One little bird. Just one.
-Control yourself.
It's been so long. Let me go.
Like I said before, once a bad old
pussycat, always a bad old pussycat.
I'm sorry. Sylvester.
You're just not Easter bunny material.
Oh. that's all light, Granny.
Oh. deal. we just have to find someone
to play the Easter bunny.
Don't worry, Granny, we have
a lot of good actors around here.
Just a second. please.
Feast your eyes on this. Granny.
An Easter duck. Just the ticket.
Really, Daffy, since when can
a duck represent Easter?
Just a bit jealous. are you?
Afraid a simple duck will upstage
a stupid rabbit, huh?
Oh, it's not that, Daffy.
It's just that, an Easter bunny is cute...
...cuddly. lovable.
Well. why didn't you say so
in the first place?
I have an idea, Granny.
How about Pepe Le Pew?
He's lovable.
So exquisite. So expressive. So cool.
- Excuse me. Monsieur Le Pew. but...
- Please. madam.
I am. how you say.
emoting on the silver screen.
Sit down and enjoy.
Le Pew!
I am bankrupt.
Remove that skunk...
...that polecat, 'from the premises.
Ah. le belle femme skunk fatale.
My little darling.
It is love at first sight, is it not? No?
Do not come with me to the casbah.
We shall make beautiful
music together right here.
Ha-ha. The small one.
She is make herself dainty for me.
For the daintiness I can wait.
The time is up. Dainty or not.
we continue with this wooing.
This little love bundle.
Now she is seeking for us
a trysting place.
Touching, is it not?
You are very good. Monsieur Le Pew.
But of course.
I have practiced, you see.
Hello, baby,
I am the locksmith of love, no?
Come. darling. We must be grown-up
about these things.
Do not run away from the love.
Here-- What is this?
But of course. This little one wish to
commit suicide to prove her love for me.
What a sweet gesture.
Nevertheless. I must prevent it.
We die together.
I am not dead? No?
What's this? Is that you, pigeon?
Is that--? Huh?
Oh. pardon. mama.
But have you seen a beautiful
young lady skunk?
Where are you. pigeon?
I am looking somewhere to find you.
'Yoo-hoo. rabbit. Where are you?
Aha! Perhaps you have returned in here?
Ale you here then. golden gill?
Who is this?
Oh. it is you again.
What can I do to help you?
Why do you lock the? Oh. no.
Control yourself, madam.
You cannot be in earnest.
A joke. yes?
You know.
It is possible to be too attractive.
Oh. you are so cute and lovable.
You'd make
an excellent Easter bunny. Pepe.
- You wish me to be an Easter bunny?
- Oh. that was the idea.
10! Pepe to play the Easter bunny...
...is like Robert Redford playing la France.
Never. Not me.
Oh. deal.
What you need is a bunny rabbit
to play the Easter bunny.
- But, Pepe, I--
-Do not be modest, Bugs.
Monsieur Gunther.
show us Bugs Bunny as an actor...
...a comedian. a pantomimist.
Oh. you will love this. madam.
Excuse me. Monsieur Le Pew. bub-
Oh. deal. he's gone.
I'm sorry. Granny.
But where am I going to find
someone to play the Easter bunny?
Isn't there anybody
we haven't talked to yet, Bugs?
Well. there's--
Hold-- I say. hold everything.
I hear-- I say, you're looking for somebody
to play the part of the Easter bunny.
I don't think you could ever pass
as a cute little bunny rabbit, Foghorn.
Son-- I say. son.
you are tampering with my career.
I have taken the liberty of putting on one of
my spectaculars on that machine up there.
Okay, roll it, Oakley.
I'll show you. I say.
I'll show you what real acting's like.
Coldest-J' I say.
Coldest winter on way here.
Bu. Feels like it's already here.
If I was to spend another winter
in this air-conditioned deep freeze...
I'd freeze my tail-- I say,
I'd freeze my tail feathers off.
Say now. that Widow Hen
has a nice. cozy little roost.
Maybe-- I say,
maybe I've been a bachelor too long.
Good-- I say. good day. Widow Hen.
- May I come in?
- Sakes alive. a man.
Come light in. MI. Leghorn.
Here-- I say, here's the flowers
and here's the candy.
The courtship is now over.
So how about it, Widow Hen?
Will you many me?
Well. I couldn't--
But I need you, Widow.
I need your love to keep me warm.
I couldn't many you unless you prove
you'd be a good father to my son.
Hey, boy, come on over here.
Let's have a look at you.
This is a boy?
Why don't you take Junior outside
and play games with him.
That'd be a good way to see
if he'd like you for a father.
Good-- I say. good idea. Widow Hen.
I know the boy will be crazy about me.
Crazy. that is.
Come over here. boy. and I'll show you
how to make a nice paper airplane.
There she goes. Look at he! fly.
How's that 10! a--? Huh?
No. no. boy.
That's no way to make a plane.
That'll never" I say, that'll never--
Oh. never mind. Einstein.
Knowing the answer
wouldn't do me no good anyway.
Let's play hide-and-seek.
That boy would have to use
a slide rule to find me in here.
The genius must have
got his signals mixed.
He's heading in the wrong direction.
But-- But, boy. Over there.
The box. I couldn't.
Yeah. I know. Figures don't lie.
But still-- One side. boy.
No. I better not look.
I just might be in there.
Well. let's see what you're making
there. boy. Looks like sody pop.
Watch it fizz.
Who is it?
Here's your little boy back, Widow.
The deal's off.
But you said you
needed my love to keep you warm.
Madam. I don't need your love.
I've got I say. I've got my bandages
to keep me warm.
What do you--? I say. what do you think.
Granny? Do I play the Easter bunny?
Oh, mercy. I just don't want to hurt
your feelings, Mr. Leghorn.
Go on. hurt them.
No. You're just not our bunny.
- That's it?
- Sony. pal.
Why do they need an Easter bunny anyway?
What's wrong with an Easter chicken?
Stop the screening.
I've solved the situation.
What do you think, sister? This is
about as Easter-ish as you can get.
You just don't understand, Daffy.
I need an actor
to play the part of an Easter bunny.
What stupendous luck.
At this very moment...
...one of my best pictures
is about to be shown.
Start the screening. Gunther.
Join up with me, so joyous and' free
That': the way to old Sherwood high
For I'm Robin Hood and I'm very good
At avoiding the Sheriff's eye
So we'll trip along merrily
Over the greensward so gracefully
To trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it
Trip it up and down
To trip it. trip it. trip it. trip it
Sn trip it up and down
Ho-ho and ha-ha. eh?
I'll ho-ho and ha-ha you, fat friar.
With my trusty quarterstaff.
Actually, it's a buck-and-a-quarter
quarterstaff, but I'm not telling him that.
Ho. Ha. Guard. Tum. Pally.
Dodge. Spin. Ha. Thrust.
Hm. Let's see now.
Something amiss here.
I'll run through it.
Ho. ha. guard. tum. parry.
dodge. spin. ha. thrust.
Got it.
Now then.
Ho. ha. guard. tum. parry. dodge. spin.
Knock it off.
How jolly can you get?
Prithee, old traveling clown...
...couldst thou directest me
to Robin Hood's hideout?
I wouldst fain join me up
with his band of jolly outlaws.
Look no further, good friar,
for I am he for whomst thou seekest.
I am Robin Hood.
Oh. cut it out. I'm serious.
If you don't know where he is,
just say so.
But honest and truly. I am Robin Hood.
Sure you are.
Look. give me a chance. can't you?
I'll prove I'm Robin Hood.
See yon rich. unwary traveler?
I'll rob him of his gold and
give it to some poor unworthy slob.
That'll prove that I'm Robin Hood.
Hm? Prithee?
Now then, fatso, watch as I put
a cloth-yard shaft through his wishbone.
I'm watching. jester.
Oh. I don't know
how I could have doubted you.
Shall we spend
the gold all in one place?
Ho-ho, very funny. Ha-ha. It is to laugh.
'(nicks . and away'.!
'(nicks . and away'.!
'(nicks . and away .
'(nicks . and away .
'(nicks . and away .
'(nicks . and away .
Why. you.
Now then. yoicks. and away!
Ha-ha! Now.
I'm sorry. but I can't join you.
I'm convinced you're just
not Robin Hood.
And I'm just convinced that you could
never play an Easter bunny. Daffy.
And I'm just convinced
that you are a stupid sapsucker.
Oh, dear, I'm afraid
we've hurt his feelings.
He'll get over it. Granny.
Say. how would you like to see
Yosemite Sam act?
You think he could play
an Easter bunny?
Hey, let's find out.
Miami Beach! At last!
Yippee! Hooray! Yahoo!
Man. dig this crazy beach.
Must be low tide.
Great horny toads, a trespasser.
Getting footy prints all over my desert.
Yah. mule! Yah. yah. yah!
Whoa. Camel. Whoa. whoa.
Whoa. camel. Whoa!
Come on. whoa!
When I say whoa." I mean whoa.
Singing in the bathtub
Now. I hope that'll learn you.
you humpback mule.
Ehh. what's up. doc?
You with the sideshow around here?
I'm no doc. you ea-bitten varmint.
I'm Riffraff Sam, the riffiest riff
that ever riffed a raff!
Your slip is showing.
Oh. deal. That pool Yosemite Sam.
Open the door! Open up!
Open up. I say! Open that door!
Close it! Close it!
Close it up again! Close it!
Yah. mule! Yah. yah. yah!
Mule! Yah!
I wonder if he's stubborn enough
to open all those doors.
Yup. he's stubborn enough.
Oh, you sure outsmarted him
that time, Bugs.
It's just play acting. Granny.
and trick photography.
Oh. Granny. wait a minute.
I just talked to my agent.
He said if you could delay
Easter for a week...
...I could play
the part of the Easter bunny for you.
Oh, dear. We can't do that, it's--
The Easter bunny himself.
You recovered. How wonderful.
You'll be able to deliver
Easter eggs alter all.
We couldn't disappoint
the children now. could we?
We're picking an Mr. Easter Rabbit
The official Easter bunny he will be
I fooled that stupid rabbit again.
thus proving once and 10! all...
...that a duck is as good
as any big-eared bunny.
The judge is now advised
The winner gets the prize
We knew it was Daffy all the time.