Chevalier (2015) Movie Script
Let's go, guys...
Come over here.
Good fish, right?
Thanks!
OK, it's all of us?
All of us together?
All together.
My hand went numb.
I'm all wet! I'm going in.
Spray some over here.
Attention please. Tonight we'll begin
our return trip towards Athens.
Anyone planning to dive again
today, please inform the crew.
Thank you.
There must be a lot of fish
over by that cliff.
Did you see the bream I missed?
The second one?
Huge fish.
- Really?
- I had it like that.
And? It disappeared.
Dimitris...
I think you need to start diving too.
I'm a little scared.
There are beautiful rocks down there,
perfect for your collection.
Like that. Dead on.
It looked at me.
It turned, to run..
You, you don't get scared?
At first I was.
What's in this?
Cream cheese.
Lettuce, tomato, and cheese?
You, Yorgos? How deep do you go?
Fifteen meters on a good day.
- Christos too.
- With tanks?
Tanks? No.
- Yannis, what did you catch?
- A couple of breams.
- Breams, eh? How many?
- Two or three.
- Big ones?
- Not big. Medium.
But it's hard to catch breams...
They're fast.
It takes skill to catch them.
It isn't easy.
These are terrible.
Anyway...
I'm leaving you now.
- This afternoon we'll dive again?
- You bet.
Yorgos...
Your glasses.
Thanks.
- Will you dive again later?
- Yes.
Can I come with you?
Another time. When the
water is safer.
We'll do a dive lesson first...
to check your breathing...
I have very strong lungs.
Much better than my brother's.
I've never smoked.
I'm just a little chubby...
You've also got a bit of
a spare tire.
But with some muscle.
Do you want to see how long
I can hold my breath?
- Now?
- Yes.
OK, show me.
- Press here, on to start.'
Ready?
Go!
Okay. That's good. Well done.
- How long?
- Eighteen seconds.
Once I lasted to 22.
Great.
I'm going to go rest now.
Talk to you later. OK?
Today's nautical weather forecasts
a high of 16 degrees
and winds from the southwest.
Thank you.
You must admit my stamina
is much better
since I gave up smoking.
You have incredible discipline.
You're doing really well.
Hello, sweetheart, how are you?
Good. We're all fine.
We went diving.
This morning.
Yes. Your husband too.
He caught some breams.
Not too big.
And Christos...
got a giant Dentex.
There.
Turn it.
Little more.
My baby.
I think you've gone overboard
with the pebbles.
I need to pee, and I've got
to move them.
Okay.
I'd love to find a pebble
that's totally round.
Almost a perfect sphere.
Think how amazing it'd be,
to find a pebble like that
since 99% of all pebbles...
aren't round.
Found any?
No.
But maybe I haven't
looked hard enough.
I did find this one.
It's pretty close to a sphere.
And by looking at it I can say
its volume is about 33ml.
Know why?
Because volume is 4/3 pi R cubed, and
this one's radius is about 2cm...
So 2 cubed is 8,
times pi, is about 25 and a bit...
4.8.
11.2.
- 82.
- 16.4.
9.2.
I got confused.
Okay, okay...
Anyway I won't keep you any longer.
Have a good drive.
And please don't drive too fast. Okay?
Think about your old Dad.
He worries.
Goodbye, Anna. Goodbye,
my child.
To the sink please.
And this one too.
Bowl.
Attention, please.
Tonight we'll perform minor repairs
to our generator.
As we do this work, the ship may
briefly lose main power.
We apologize for any inconvenience.
Thank you.
Nope.
You're out.
The answer was Mr. Nikolaou.
None of you got it, so I win.
Please tell us how Mr. Nikolaou
looks like a panda.
It's my subjective opinion.
He looks like a panda because
his body type exudes kindness...
He's got a beard, dark circles
under his eyes...
like a teddy-bear.
I don't mind being a panda.
Excuse me, but the panda is an animal
with a very large body-type.
Yes Christos, but a baby panda
has a small body-type.
Exactly. Small panda, small body.
Wrong.
A panda, of any age,
is a plump animal.
This guy is oblong!
Christos is right.
You have to say baby panda.
- It's not important.
- It's not important?
It's very important.
No, you should have asked
how old the panda was.
I like that you
called me a panda.
Hang on. This game is about
how we see each other.
We don't have to agree.
Shouldn't it refer to a
common perception?
But that's it!
It's because there's no such
common perception
that the game even works!
That absence is the whole
point of the game!
Fine, and yet you must,
with every answer...
Not every answer.
Every answer.
Every answer has to express somehow
the essence of the person you're
thinking of.
Are you going to censor
what I see,
if that's what I see?
- He's right.
- About what?
I think Dimitris has a point.
He likes being unconventional.
I think there has to be consistency
in terms of common sense.
Let's call it that: common sense.
Precisely.
Fine. You may all think
I'm wrong to see
a resemblance between
Mr. Nikolaou and a panda.
But I will not retract it!
Can we continue, now?
Who's next?
Okay.
I've got someone.
If he was clothing?
He'd be... a blue vest.
If he was fruit?
Pineapple.
If he was a lighter?
- What do you mean?
- It's a dumb question.
I mean, an expensive lighter
or a plastic one?
It's a dumb question.
- He'd be... a plastic lighter.
- I think I got it.
Careful, if you're wrong you're out.
Wrong.
If I were clothing I'd be a blue vest?
That makes no sense.
And there's no way in hell,
if I'm a fruit, I'm a pineapple.
Pineapple for sure.
Take back, right now,
that if I were a fruit, I'd
be a pineapple.
- Take it back now.
- I'm not taking back anything.
It's unfounded!
- You're a pineapple.
- It's unfounded!
If he was...
a state in the United States
of America?
The cabin boy.
The cabin boy?
Yes. It's the cabin boy.
How did you know?
See that? Now who's the pineapple?
Congratulations.
You have two points and
you're ahead so far.
Thank you.
Who's going next?
I'm not playing anymore.
I'm tired and I'm bored of this game.
OK. I'd be bored too,
and give up, if I were losing.
Just because you can guess
who's a kiwi and who's a pineapple,
doesn't mean you're better than us.
In case you're wondering,
you're not the best in general.
You're the best at
that particular game.
Only.
All right, then let's play the game
Of The Best in General...
How about it?
But wait, actually we can't play that,
because that game doesn't exist.
Pity.
Why don't we play something else?
Cards, let's say.
Unfortunately I don't know
how to play cards.
I know a game we can play...
but I don't know if we can
finish it before we get back.
What game?
I played it last year with friends.
It's very simple.
Each of us thinks up a contest
where we all compete.
Anything you want.
A physical test or
a mental challenge.
We each score each other.
And he with the most points, wins.
Sounds fun.
Well, I'm...
I'm not sleepy. I'll play it.
But now that I think about it...
we can't play that without
a chevalier signet ring.
Why the ring?
Because whoever wins,
puts on the ring and wears it
until the next game.
We'll give him something else.
It doesn't have to be a ring.
We can't do that.
How can we play a game
called Le Chevalier,
and then give the winner...
something like a glass of
water, or a vase?
We could play a game called chevalier.
Doc, what if, just to get started,
you lend us your own
chevalier ring?
Don't be ridiculous.
Trivial Pursuit?
Sure. Whatever you guys want.
I do not play Trivial Pursuit.
Yeah, I was just kidding.
Fine. OK.
Why don't we start this game now,
and when we get back to Athens,
we'll get a ring.
Yorgos, are you playing?
I'll play... if we change
the game a little bit.
Meaning?
When do we arrive?
Hopefully tomorrow night.
Okay, so I propose, until then,
we don't judge each other
only on the chosen contests...
But?
But on everything.
Everything we do.
How we speak.
Loudly? Slowly?
What words we use.
How we laugh.
If we show our teeth when we smile.
How we look,
and how we look at each other.
How we walk.
Why we walk and we don't sit down.
How we think.
Everything.
And whoever is the best,
at everything,
he wears the chevalier.
In other words, the game
Of The Best in General.
I'm fine with it. I'll
play it like that.
When you say we'll grade each
other on everything,
what do you mean?
Whether we kill sea-urchins,
for example?
Whether we kill sea-urchins or whether
our pants ride up too high.
My pants don't ride up too high.
They do, and you can ask anyone.
Do my pants ride up too high?
I think it's an okay height.
An okay height. See?
Thanks.
Thanks.
Nice underwear. Striped.
His posture is excellent.
Straight back, straight neck.
I don't think he's asleep.
How can he be asleep already?
He's asleep.
It's odd he doesn't sleep nude,
although he's a nudist.
That's because he's not asleep.
I don't like the way he's sleeping.
His body posture is too perfect.
I don't like what I'm seeing.
That's because he's not asleep.
He's asleep.
I don't know if I buy it.
Still, his underwear is nice.
The captain and the crew would like
to wish you good morning.
The temperature today will range
from 9 to 20 degrees Celsius.
Thank you.
How many fillings do you have?
Two.
And one root canal.
Did you have your teeth
cleaned recently?
Four months ago.
How many times a day do you brush?
Three.
Maybe... it's not enough.
I should do it more often.
Good morning.
Good morning.
It must be abandoned, eh?
Great day for jet-skiing!
Bravo, Josef.
Do I have time for breakfast?
Yes, grab a bite.
What will you have?
Coffee for sure, and maybe
some lemon cake.
How do you like your coffee?
Espresso. No sugar.
A splash of milk.
Evaporated milk.
I never put milk in my espresso.
Especially not evaporated milk.
Not that it's wrong.
I just don't like it.
Sure.
Josef!
Everyone is awake, we're
ready! Come on!
Can I go around again?
No.
What were you telling them?
You weren't really asleep.
You heard us.
As a favor, because you begged,
I brought you.
Or else you'd be in Athens now,
with mom.
Don't be ungrateful.
I only observed that nobody could
be asleep in such a perfect pose.
If you hit me again,
I'll tell everyone.
And I'll tell everyone you're
afraid to sleep alone.
Tell them. I don't care.
For polishing silver, there's a
secret few people know.
Toothpaste.
You won't believe it.
I wish you good luck.
I'm done.
I win.
I finished first.
Congratulations.
The spoons aren't perfect.
The tray? It looks dull.
It's silver-plated, not silver.
It's brass, that's why it
looks like that.
The spoons aren't perfect.
It's terrible.
It's silver-plated. It
doesn't get any cleaner.
Well you don't usually see the bottom.
What's wrong with it?
Help.
Help!
Help!
What happened?
You're the first who came.
Congratulations.
- What happened?
- Help!
Okay stop, that's enough.
Will you stop? The Doctor is sleeping.
In a contest like this, the Doctor's
the most important.
Exactly because he's a doctor.
Help!
What is it, what's happening?
The others said you wouldn't wake up,
but I told them you would.
- What's happening?
- You came last, eh?
Yeah.
Who got here first?
Yorgos, and me second.
Attention, please. We'd like
to kindly inform you
that on tonight's menu the cheesecake
has been replaced by lemon pie.
Thank you and we apologize
for any inconvenience.
Yannis, you're wearing shoes.
Sorry.
We never wear shoes inside the boat.
We went over that.
- What was your time?
- 18:01.
Not bad.
How's Anna?
Anna?
She's fine.
How long since you've seen her?
Long time.
Since our Christmas party last year?
Yeah.
You haven't seen her since?
No.
She's terrific.
She's very happy.
I think... the happiest
she's been in her life.
She nags me a bit,
when I get home late from work.
She cut her hair short and it
doesn't suit her, but...
Anyway it'll grow back.
She's fine.
We were thinking of buying
a camera like yours.
Especially if Anna manages
to get pregnant,
we'll need a good camera.
How much did yours cost?
I don't remember.
Have you considered it might be you
who has the problem?
I don't think so...
If Anna were 3 or 4 years younger,
she wouldn't have a problem.
Yannis, do you remember me
being an insurance agent,
and advising you on your
homeowner's policy?
No.
And do you know why I haven't?
Why?
Because I'm not an insurance agent.
So.
Don't play doctor for me,
and I won't play insurance
agent for you.
Have a good rest.
Don't put it out.
I won't tell anyone you smoke.
I wasn't smoking.
But I saw you.
Listen, it's okay.
I won't tell anyone.
You can come to my cabin and
smoke whenever you want.
Thank you.
I fell in love with a shepherdess...
a much admired maiden,
But I loved her very much
And I was still a songless bird,
And I was still a songless bird,
A boy of only ten.
Some tea with honey?
No, thanks.
Do you think he's impotent?
Impotent in general?
Unable to have children.
We can find out easily enough.
Bring him in to get tested.
At the clinic.
No, no.
It's not right. To force him?
Force him.
To come in and prove
to us that he's...
fertile.
We don't know anything about
their private life.
Do they use protection?
We don't know.
Is she on the pill?
Does he insist? We don't know.
You know Anna, she's sensitive.
She doesn't talk.
She doesn't tell me what's going on.
On the one hand that's a good thing.
I don't want her being dependent...
Being totally dependent on me...
Which she is, to a certain degree,
because it's something I strive for...
And I acknowledge this
weakness of mine.
I don't even know why you invited him.
And he's also terrible at
spear-fishing.
Christos!
Come, join me.
A reminder that shoes must be removed
before entering the main cabin area
of the ship. Thank you.
Want a sausage?
No.
Let me ask you.
Sea-urchin salad. How do
you make it?
The usual way. Olive oil, lemon.
The ones we caught weren't full.
You know, sea urchins are packed
with eggs at full moon.
Yes, I know.
Slipper lobsters are tasty too.
- And funny.
- How's that?
When you catch them.
That sound they make.
Beavers do that too.
You catch beavers?
No.
What about calamari?
I don't catch them.
But I do eat them, and I like them.
Know the secret to frying calamari?
No.
After you dry them, you wash
them thoroughly.
The secret is to drain the
water completely.
How, with napkins?
Napkins, paper towels,
bits of cloth. Anything.
You put them in a bag of flour
and shake it.
Don't you get flour all
over the kitchen?
I don't fry them in the kitchen.
My wife yells at me.
So where do you do it?
In the garden. With a camp stove.
Do you cook?
Not really.
But I do make a salad.
Pears wrapped in
prosciutto and arugula.
- Oh really?
- Yeah.
I cut the pears in slices,
put them in the oven,
wrap them in
prosciutto, tightly,
spread more prosciutto
around the plate,
and at very the end, right in
the middle: arugula.
Couldn't you also put the
arugula inside the rolls?
You could. You're totally free.
And for a dressing, I use
caramelized balsamic.
- How do you caramelize it?
- At 120 C.
- Raw fish, do you eat it?
- Raw? You bet.
Mr. Nikolaou doesn't, I guess.
With Josef you never know.
Not openly, at least.
He might hide in the toilet and eat
salmon Carpaccio. Who knows.
- You've been partners a long time?
- Eleven years.
- A very particular man, isn't he.
- You said it.
How long have you worked
for the Doctor at the clinic?
Four years.
And who will take over for him?
I heard he's retiring.
You'd have to ask him.
It's a big decision.
The Doctor is smart.
I'm sure he'll choose the best
man for the job.
How old are your kids?
My daughter's 16 and
my son's 12.
I had them young.
Well, not that young.
How old are you?
Forty-five. But I don't look it.
Wouldn't you have liked to play
the field a little more?
Not at all.
The dinghy is ready for anyone who
wishes to go ashore. Thank you.
Sorry, Christos...
It's OK. Don't worry about it.
What are you looking at?
- My hair? Is it a mess?
- A little.
- Now?
- Better.
Was it a mess before, or only
now with the wind?
Only now. Inside you were fine.
Have you thought of a contest?
I have, but I'm not crazy about it and
it's making me anxious.
Do you want to tell me?
Sure. Everyone describes
his house, in detail...
square meters, floor, and address,
and then we grade it.
You're right. It's not
very interesting.
No, it's not.
Don't suggest it.
Yorgos!
Three!
One!
One is like none.
Two.
Is someone writing these down?
I did.
- Three.
- Two or three, which was it?
- One.
- Four.
Two!
Three...
three...
- Bravo, Josef.
- Seven.
Yeah, right.
I don't believe it.
Did you see it? Seven.
Three.
Josef, how many?
I've done a whole variety.
- One.
- Two, one, three.
Write it down.
- Josef?
- Four.
Three, four, two, one.
I think it's our best contest so far!
What's wrong?
You're not talking?
- What you did wasn't right.
- What?
Letting them throw my
pebbles into the water.
You asked, so I gave them to you.
You didn't say they'd be
thrown into the sea.
I trusted you.
Pebbles belong in the sea.
No. Pebbles belong to me,
not the sea.
These pebbles, anyway.
Why do you want those
pebbles anyway?
They're pebbles. We'll get more.
I wanted to make a terrarium.
A what?
- A terrarium.
- A terrarium?
Yes.
What's a terrarium?
If you knew what a terrarium was,
you wouldn't throw my
pebbles in the sea.
Will you tell me?
No. Did you tell me?
I didn't tell you.
- But I did it for you.
- Yeah, right.
Don't say yeah right.
You shouldn't become so
attached to pebbles.
Pebbles come, pebbles go.
Other pebbles show up.
When you don't expect them.
Want to throw some?
Nobody's stopping you.
Well, I'm going to throw some.
- My geometry professor
was very strict,
and I knew he wouldn't tell me
my grade on the test...
With a little more feeling!
If you don't mind.
- My geometry professor
was very strict,
and I knew he wouldn't tell me
my grade on the test...
I was scared, but I had
nothing else to lose,
as I approached his office, to
ask how I had done.
Standing outside his door, I was
trembling with fear...
OK?
Josef?
And remember: I've seen your dick,
because you show it to us every
time you go swimming,
and it's not what you'd
call a big dick.
First of all, you know that a penis
which is not erect
can grow considerably
when it is, i.e.,
two penises where one
is smaller than the other,
when they're not erect, when
they become erect
the smaller can become the bigger.
That made no sense at all,
your syntax is shit and your
dick is very, very small.
I don't insult you, I'm always polite,
and I think my contest is very
fair to everyone.
I merely said that...
you alone didn't have
a morning erection.
And I think it must
mean something.
That I didn't have a morning
erection is completely irrelevant.
Maybe I'd just had a bad dream...
that you had died, let's say...
and I was sad.
Fair enough.
Anyway, we're on a tight schedule,
so I think you should get in there.
And please make sure the
focus is sharp,
otherwise we can't compare.
Press the screen and it
focuses automatically.
I know how to focus.
Very good.
OK, let's do it.
- Ready?
- Yep!
- Night had fallen,
when I arrived at
the college courtyard...
I'm telling you, it was that story.
The geometry teacher and the girl?
I couldn't imagine it.
If it was the one about the girl
whose car breaks down,
I'd have been fine.
I'm not saying you have a problem.
Maybe you were nervous, maybe...
Maybe you were embarrassed...
but you had better look into it.
Okay?
Hurry up! We're waiting for you.
Come on, get up.
Can you please tell me
what's going on?
Nothing's going on.
Want some tangerine?
- Making fun of me?
- Not at all.
You sit there and agree.
You say, Sure,
take off some of his points.
Points off from what? My cock?
I think you're overly upset.
Didn't we go together
to that apartment in Ilissia?
We did.
And when the client came to see it,
didn't I fuck her in the kitchen?
Yes or no?
I know it.
Did I get a hard-on instantly,
yes or no?
You did.
Did I get it up without her
even blowing me?
- I don't remember.
- What?
You were on the balcony,
watching us and laughing.
You're right. I remember now.
So when those guys started with
the insults and sarcasm,
why didn't you tell them to shut up?
Why didn't you tell them, stop guys,
don't make fun of Josef,
because I've seen him in Ilissia
with a beautiful erection.
I didn't tell them because
it's against the rules of the game.
What rules? There are no
rules to this game.
There are no rules to this stupid
game you came up with.
You didn't tell them because
you're ungrateful.
You don't love me and
you're ungrateful.
Are you crazy?
- Oh, I'm crazy?
- Are you?
- I've lost my mind?
- Yes, you've totally lost your mind.
I've lost my mind? Is that it?
Calm down, now!
You better believe it!
- You better believe it.
- Calm down.
Our business is over. You and me,
we're over. We're through.
Nothing's over, you dog.
And you know what? You'll win.
But you won't actually win anything.
Even if you win, it doesn't mean
you're the best in general.
We'll win together.
- We'll win together?
- You and me.
Together.
Okay?
Sixth place Yannis, fifth Dimitris.
Fourth Yorgos.
Third Nikolaou.
Second Christos, first: the Doctor.
6th place: Nikolaou,
5th: the Doctor...
- The Doctor in 5th place?
- Yes.
Number 4, Dimitris.
3rd Yorgos, 2nd: Christos.
1st place: Yannis.
Yannis?
Why not Christos in first?
I don't know Christos.
Sometimes I think he's the best, and
other times he confuses me.
I'm torn between him and the
Doctor for first.
Now that I think of it, I believe
he deserves first place.
Christos doesn't deserve first.
Don't even consider it.
Like I said, I'm not sure.
I don't know him, it's
his first trip with us.
I might change my
predictions later.
It's just that his room is neat,
and he's very polite.
You?
Whom would you put in first place?
I don't know. Yet.
I still put Yannis first.
I'm sure about it.
The food was tasteless.
- Are you OK?
- Yeah...
But I'd like to keep that
between us.
- It could happen to anyone.
- I know.
But let's keep it
between us, okay?
Okay.
Thanks.
Don't worry.
Winds are mild rising to moderate,
3 to 5 Beaufort scale.
The sea will be disturbed, later a bit
disturbed, and then disturbed.
Thank you.
Does anyone want anything
from the kitchen?
I'm going to grab a bite. I'm hungry.
Sea's a little bumpy today.
Yes, it is.
We will dock at Faliro Marina, Athens,
in approximately two hours.
Thank you.
You're sure you don't
need anything else?
Yes. Thank you for everything.
As always you were excellent.
And as always I thank you
for your trust.
- If anything does come up...
- We won't need you.
I wish you a pleasant rest.
I hope everything goes well,
and you win.
That's what I wish you.
Thank you.
You two are not dismissed yet.
I'll need you for one or
two more days.
One or two, Doctor?
Either one or two. I don't know.
Maybe three.
Maybe 20.
- Is it important?
- Of course not.
It's just about the provisions.
I'll be giving you a list of
what we'll need.
Certainly.
That will be all.
Hello.
Hi, how are you?
Fine.
Have you arrived?
No, and we're going to be late.
Tomorrow afternoon we'll try to
set out again, and we'll see...
Okay.
Is it very windy?
Quite.
But don't worry.
There's no reason to worry.
It's just that I wanted to be
home today, to see you.
I've missed you.
Have you missed me?
Sure. I've missed you.
Do you love me?
Yes, I love you.
Are you sure everything's okay there?
Yes. Everything's fine.
You? Any news?
Nothing much.
They came to clear out
the garden today.
The rose bushes will die soon,
if we don't do something...
Darling,
speak up, I can't hear you.
I said, the men who came
today for the garden,
said the rose bushes need attention.
We have to adjust the watering system
and see if the oleanders
need pruning...
So. I will now...
make a call to my mother.
Wait, sorry, I'm not ready.
- That's the default RINGTONE, right?
- Yes.
It's been like that
since I got it.
Is that the sound of a frog?
- No.
- What is it?
A telephone sound.
An electronic sound.
Why did you choose that RINGTONE?
My son went into the settings,
and he chose it.
Someone may give you an awful shirt,
but once you put it on,
the bad choice is no longer theirs,
but yours.
That's correct.
I wasn't making excuses.
And in any case, it's not
the sound of a frog,
it's a simple electronic sound.
Of a frog.
Excuse me, but maybe he
hasn't changed it
to not upset his son.
Precisely.
Just a moment. We're asking Yorgos,
We're not asking you.
I didn't answer. I only hypothesized.
No, no. A specific question
was put to Yorgos,
and Yorgos should answer.
I didn't answer, I only
hypothesized. Right?
Dimitris's hypothesis was correct.
You're a very beautiful woman.
Why is such a beautiful woman
here alone...
by the road, at this hour?
No spare tire? Well,
that is a problem!
Let's see if there's anything
I can do to fix it.
Let's see. It's difficult.
It's difficult but let's see.
Yorgos?
Yorgos?
Are you asleep?
I've got a beautiful erection,
enduring and engorged.
Open up, let me show you.
Yorgos?
Yannis?
Go call that geometry professor,
I've got something for him.
Whoever wants to,
can come out and get fucked.
Come on, I don't have all night.
I'm too busy!
Do you want me to fuck you?
I have a really great erection.
Do you want me to fuck you?
Come now, drink this.
One crazy night in Lilliput City,
In the purple Lilliput City...
In the cake-shop of the
Sugar-saurus...
I was throwing doughnuts in
the air for you!
And you spread jam all over me!
So get ready because I'm
coming back...
to Lilliput City!
Get ready because I'm coming back
to Lilliput City!
I thought you were exaggerating,
but you were right.
He does snore loudly.
Of course he may have a
sinus problem,
or infected adenoids.
I'm sure he's started smoking again.
Earlier I saw cigarettes and a
lighter on his desk.
Silk Cut?
Yes. You saw them too?
They're not his. They're mine.
I forgot them on deck and he
probably noticed them.
- You smoke?
- Shhhh...
You smoke?
I smoke. A little.
There's drool on the pillow.
Next, please.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- How are you today?
- Fine.
You seem a little pale.
I'm fine.
Roll up your sleeve please.
Done.
Would you like some orange juice?
No, I'm okay.
Next please.
Who's next?
Good morning, Dimitris.
Have a seat.
Roll up your sleeve.
Make a fist,
and take a deep breath.
Sorry, sorry...
I need some time.
It's nothing.
Just a little prick.
Turn the other way,
so you don't see the needle.
Like that.
I don't want to give blood.
Can I not give blood?
Of course...
but realize there
will be consequences.
Please try.
It's a shame if you don't.
It won't hurt, trust me. It's nothing.
I have a recent chest X-ray.
I can have it brought
here if you want.
Don't be afraid.
It will only take a moment.
No, I can't do it,
I'm sorry, I can't.
All right... listen.
Sit.
Sit.
Close your eyes.
And I'll apply a special ointment.
It burns a bit, but then you
won't feel anything.
Okay?
Close your eyes.
Now I'll apply the special
ointment, okay?
You lied to me!
I knew you'd lie to me.
That wasn't fair.
I was straight with you,
but you weren't.
That wasn't nice.
Your behavior is appalling.
Forgive me. I apologize.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
Dimitris?
Why the hell are you smoking?
I just started now.
Okay, you don't need this.
And don't beat yourself up.
I know that if the doctor
had insisted a bit more,
you would have done it.
I've given you really high points.
That's great.
And to Christos?
Christos too.
But more points to you... so far.
I've given you high points too.
Wasn't I doing fine until today?
You certainly were.
And you'll keep on doing well.
Finished!
Finished!
Finished.
Finished.
Where'd that thing go?
I'm done.
What happened?
What happened?
The instructions were confusing.
They weren't clear at all!
Not to me anyway.
Okay, don't fret.
Maybe it was defective?
You think so?
Well, it's too late now.
These eggplants aren't
good for stuffing.
We needed the
flask-shaped ones.
I told you again and again.
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry's no good.
I can't work with these eggplants.
You have to go back and
get the right ones.
Yes, sir.
And what about the way to cook them?
You remember what I taught you?
We cut them in half,
salt them,
and leave them for 20 minutes.
Enough.
Go get the flask-shaped
ones and get back here.
Right away.
What will you get?
Flask-shaped ones.
What will you get?
Flask-shaped ones.
Blood sugar.
Normal levels are from 70... to 110.
If you're within that range,
raise your hand so we can see you.
Fine.
Cholesterol.
Maybe...
Should we do creatinine first?
No, cholesterol comes first.
Christos?
- Yes?
- 260.
260, Christos?
I thought you were watching
your nutrition.
That's not good.
I too thought you were
watching your nutrition.
As for me I can easily call
and have that chest X-ray
brought here.
If you'd like.
Triglycerides.
You were good on the phone. Thanks.
You helped me a lot.
They were all convinced we're
very happy together.
I don't know why...
I'm stressed out.
No, I'm doing OK, but...
I don't know...
You're right. I will.
You're right.
Do you think my thighs are fat?
Are you sure?
I'm the best.
I'm the best, I'm the best,
I'm the best...
My thighs aren't fat.
I'm the best, I'm the best...
I don't have high cholesterol.
I have low cholesterol!
I'm the best!
I don't bite my nails.
No - I do bite my nails! And
I'm the best!
Are you cold?
Me? No.
Why, is it cold?
- Are you cold?
- No.
Doctor, are you cold?
Are you kidding?
Not at all.
I must admit, I am a little cold.
Wouldn't it be great,
to always be on holiday?
That would really be perfect.
You're cold?
No.
I do apologize. I never...
That hardly ever happens...
It's probably all that garlic in the
stuffed eggplants.
Dimitris?
Will you show us what you prepared?
It's very impressive.
Well...
It's nothing really.
You're being modest.
It's very impressive.
Come on.
What you did was totally idiotic.
And dangerous, in this wind.
Those fireworks aren't meant for that.
I did it...
Dimitris was singing, and...
and it seemed like a good idea.
I'm sorry.
It had nothing to do with
Dimitris's song.
It was unnecessary.
It both endangered your brother,
and was pointless.
It wasn't relevant, and it
was ridiculous.
It was relevant.
And everyone loved it, didn't you?
I liked it.
For me it was okay, I didn't mind.
It didn't really fit.
Oh, it didn't fit?
It fit!
It fit absolutely, and that's final.
You're unfair, Doc, because
if someone else did it,
you wouldn't reprimand him,
you'd reward him.
If Christos did it, you'd praise him.
You'd say Good job, Christos,
my boy!
Well I'm more...
than Christos.
Did you know I sold 170 insurance
policies last year?
Can you even grasp that number? 170.
So tell Christos to make a baby
with your daughter,
because me? I don't really want one.
If he can, that is.
Because Anna said...
Little Christos didn't do
so well there.
Yannis,
shut up.
You think Anna hasn't told me?
She told me what a loser you were.
That you made her lick your feet
to get a hard-on.
It made her sick!
And so did the gifts you gave her!
Picture frames? Dumb greeting
cards that play music?
And desk sets!
She showed me your gifts and
we laughed.
We still laugh at you.
Apologize.
- Apologize.
- No.
Apologize.
No.
And if you must know, Anna
wanted that stuff!
She wanted that desk set!
I didn't choose it alone!
But you have no taste, Christos.
Your taste sucks.
It's a fact, what can I do?
Apologize. Apologize now.
A little lower please...
I can't reach your feet
to lick them!
So you can get hard and fuck
Anna and make a baby!
Apologize!
Take off your shoes!
A desk set with a compass,
a letter-opener...
a pen and a paperweight!
Apologize!
What a lovely letter-opener!
What a lovely paperweight!
What wonderful gifts!
I'll put them on my desk!
Josef, take him inside!
You know that Anna still loves me!
And those cards! So romantic!
Oh! They play music!
Oh, I love you, Christos!
I love you!
I love your gifts!
Christos I love you!
I'm crazy about you, Christos!
Lick my feet, Christos!
Sorry.
Sorry.
If someone gets hypoxia while diving,
is it very dangerous?
Can you die?
Yes, it's dangerous.
The last time we dove,
Yorgos got hypoxia.
Luckily I saw him in time.
Until I took him to the surface
and saw him breathing,
I was really scared.
When I think that he
could have died...
It's horrible.
I don't even want to think about it.
Let me ask you something.
Gladly.
Do you think Yorgos is better than me?
Look, I know it's a weird question.
And you can't be objective,
because of our long-time friendship
and your devotion to me,
which is mutual of course,
but I would like to know.
If you think he's better than me.
I know you don't think so,
but I want to hear it myself.
Christos will win, won't he?
Or Yorgos.
Or Christos.
Christos or Yorgos?
Yorgos, or me?
The finalists are Yorgos and Christos.
The Doctor?
The Doctor is next to last.
He's very agitated.
He kept playing with his
chevalier ring,
taking it off, putting it on,
until his finger swelled,
and he asked me for some ice.
Then he asked me to get
him cigarettes.
A carton.
It's just like I predicted.
Nikolaou last.
The Doctor next to last.
How could he possibly have won,
the way he's going so bald?
Why are you staring at me?
Your hair's beginning to
fall out as well.
Here,
and here.
I hold you all in high regard...
you and your families.
I hold you all in high regard...
you and your families.
So...
I just wanted to...
on this occasion I
just wanted to say...
I hold you all in high regard.
You and your families.
But I have to admit, I feel,
as if I've won already.
Regardless of what
your final vote decides.
I want to thank everyone who
gave me high points,
but also those who gave
me low points,
because thanks to your
criticism and comments
I have become a better person.
All these days with you, you've
taught me many things.
About underwater fishing,
about making sea urchin salad,
Christos,
meteorology...
oceanography...
astronomy...
And Doc,
You taught me something I wanted
to know since I was a kid.
How to tell the Little Dipper
from the Big Dipper.
I taught you about the Big Dipper.
You too, Josef.
And the Doctor. It doesn't matter.
Maybe you taught me the Big Dipper,
and the Doctor the Little Dipper.
You, the Doctor, the Doctor, you...
Okay, enough.
What you're doing is unethical.
Trying to influence our opinions,
our votes... their votes...
Christos, I'm talking about
love and respect here.
Yes, it's a brilliant speech.
And not at all self-serving!
Go on, Yorgos.
I'm sharing what's in my
heart with you...
What are you doing, my boy?
It's okay, carry on.
And to show you my regard for you,
and how close to you I feel...
Put a few here.
Thanks.
Come on my boy. Finish up.
So.
To show you what's in my heart,
and how highly I regard you,
and how close to you I feel...
I will invoke the Secret Society
of Friends...
those brave ringleaders
of our national uprising of 1821,
who through the ritual of
the blood oath,
through the exchange of blood,
became linked through eternal ties.
Seriously?
This is the gift I ask of you.
And I'm certain you'll offer it...
And I'm ready
to receive it.
What the hell?
Is that knife sterilized?
I wiped it with alcohol and
held it over a flame.
This is over the top.
You've gone too far now!
Come on.
Someone?
I don't know about that...
I don't want to cut my arm,
I'll have a scar.
Then cut your leg.
Then I can't wear shorts!
- Make the cut on your behind!
- Find someone else.
Well?
I'd like to think about it.
Great, think about it.
I think I won't be doing that.
Somebody decide.
I'm bleeding here.
Can we bandage the thing
before you make a mess?
It'll be just a small cut!
I won't do it. I'm sorry.
This is really important to me.
It's important to me.
It's important to me!
I will gladly become your
blood-brother.
There!
- Dimitri you're not serious.
- I'm serious.
You wouldn't let the Doctor prick you,
but you'll do this?
Would you do it for me?
We're already brothers.
There's no point in being
blood-brothers.
Great...
- Did I do it?
- No.
Did I do it?
No. There's just a red mark.
Turn the knife to the side that cuts,
and press a little harder.
Yannis, say something!
Okay, I think it's all right,
Dimitris.
Let's leave it a little
longer to make sure.
A little longer? Okay.
Okay?
Okay.
Come on. Sure.
Bravo.
Bravo!
Thanks.
You're smoking?
Yeah...
No...
In the moment.
Where is it,
Where is it,
The little ring?
Search for it,
Search for it,
You won't find it.
You won't find it.
You won't find it.
The little ring
That you yearn for.
You won't find it.
You won't find it.
The little ring
That you yearn for.
What happened?
Nothing.
Is that blood?
Yes.
They slaughtered each other.
- Didn't you hear it?
- No.
Just before the final vote,
the Doctor insulted Christos in
front of everyone.
He got mad and attacked.
The Doctor grabbed a bread knife,
and as they wrestled on the floor,
he slashed his cheek, to the chin.
Like this.
Luckily Yannis broke them up,
otherwise the Doctor would have
cut him to pieces.
Yannis got hurt too.
He got stabbed in the knee.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
It probably cut a tendon,
but if you see Christos's face
you won't believe it.
Nikolaou left in tears,
the rest are down in their cabins.
An ambulance is on its way.
Christos lost a lot of blood.
You believed it.
No I didn't.
You did.
No I didn't.
Yes you did.
I didn't believe it.
Minus 6 points.
I didn't believe it, you
can't take off points.
Minus 12 for being a sore loser.
I won't lose. I'll win.
You'll never get the
chevalier. Forget it.
- Take that back.
- I won't.
You have a boundless imagination,
but none when it
comes to cooking.
You'll never be promoted to chef.
You're not a chef.
You're a cook.
Sorry.
Take it back about
not being a chef.
Certainly not.
Take it back now I said.
Let go of my tie.
- Take it back.
- Let go of my tie.
- Take it back.
- Let go of my tie.
- Take it back!
- Let go of my tie!
- Let go of my tie!
- Apologize now!
Come over here.
Good fish, right?
Thanks!
OK, it's all of us?
All of us together?
All together.
My hand went numb.
I'm all wet! I'm going in.
Spray some over here.
Attention please. Tonight we'll begin
our return trip towards Athens.
Anyone planning to dive again
today, please inform the crew.
Thank you.
There must be a lot of fish
over by that cliff.
Did you see the bream I missed?
The second one?
Huge fish.
- Really?
- I had it like that.
And? It disappeared.
Dimitris...
I think you need to start diving too.
I'm a little scared.
There are beautiful rocks down there,
perfect for your collection.
Like that. Dead on.
It looked at me.
It turned, to run..
You, you don't get scared?
At first I was.
What's in this?
Cream cheese.
Lettuce, tomato, and cheese?
You, Yorgos? How deep do you go?
Fifteen meters on a good day.
- Christos too.
- With tanks?
Tanks? No.
- Yannis, what did you catch?
- A couple of breams.
- Breams, eh? How many?
- Two or three.
- Big ones?
- Not big. Medium.
But it's hard to catch breams...
They're fast.
It takes skill to catch them.
It isn't easy.
These are terrible.
Anyway...
I'm leaving you now.
- This afternoon we'll dive again?
- You bet.
Yorgos...
Your glasses.
Thanks.
- Will you dive again later?
- Yes.
Can I come with you?
Another time. When the
water is safer.
We'll do a dive lesson first...
to check your breathing...
I have very strong lungs.
Much better than my brother's.
I've never smoked.
I'm just a little chubby...
You've also got a bit of
a spare tire.
But with some muscle.
Do you want to see how long
I can hold my breath?
- Now?
- Yes.
OK, show me.
- Press here, on to start.'
Ready?
Go!
Okay. That's good. Well done.
- How long?
- Eighteen seconds.
Once I lasted to 22.
Great.
I'm going to go rest now.
Talk to you later. OK?
Today's nautical weather forecasts
a high of 16 degrees
and winds from the southwest.
Thank you.
You must admit my stamina
is much better
since I gave up smoking.
You have incredible discipline.
You're doing really well.
Hello, sweetheart, how are you?
Good. We're all fine.
We went diving.
This morning.
Yes. Your husband too.
He caught some breams.
Not too big.
And Christos...
got a giant Dentex.
There.
Turn it.
Little more.
My baby.
I think you've gone overboard
with the pebbles.
I need to pee, and I've got
to move them.
Okay.
I'd love to find a pebble
that's totally round.
Almost a perfect sphere.
Think how amazing it'd be,
to find a pebble like that
since 99% of all pebbles...
aren't round.
Found any?
No.
But maybe I haven't
looked hard enough.
I did find this one.
It's pretty close to a sphere.
And by looking at it I can say
its volume is about 33ml.
Know why?
Because volume is 4/3 pi R cubed, and
this one's radius is about 2cm...
So 2 cubed is 8,
times pi, is about 25 and a bit...
4.8.
11.2.
- 82.
- 16.4.
9.2.
I got confused.
Okay, okay...
Anyway I won't keep you any longer.
Have a good drive.
And please don't drive too fast. Okay?
Think about your old Dad.
He worries.
Goodbye, Anna. Goodbye,
my child.
To the sink please.
And this one too.
Bowl.
Attention, please.
Tonight we'll perform minor repairs
to our generator.
As we do this work, the ship may
briefly lose main power.
We apologize for any inconvenience.
Thank you.
Nope.
You're out.
The answer was Mr. Nikolaou.
None of you got it, so I win.
Please tell us how Mr. Nikolaou
looks like a panda.
It's my subjective opinion.
He looks like a panda because
his body type exudes kindness...
He's got a beard, dark circles
under his eyes...
like a teddy-bear.
I don't mind being a panda.
Excuse me, but the panda is an animal
with a very large body-type.
Yes Christos, but a baby panda
has a small body-type.
Exactly. Small panda, small body.
Wrong.
A panda, of any age,
is a plump animal.
This guy is oblong!
Christos is right.
You have to say baby panda.
- It's not important.
- It's not important?
It's very important.
No, you should have asked
how old the panda was.
I like that you
called me a panda.
Hang on. This game is about
how we see each other.
We don't have to agree.
Shouldn't it refer to a
common perception?
But that's it!
It's because there's no such
common perception
that the game even works!
That absence is the whole
point of the game!
Fine, and yet you must,
with every answer...
Not every answer.
Every answer.
Every answer has to express somehow
the essence of the person you're
thinking of.
Are you going to censor
what I see,
if that's what I see?
- He's right.
- About what?
I think Dimitris has a point.
He likes being unconventional.
I think there has to be consistency
in terms of common sense.
Let's call it that: common sense.
Precisely.
Fine. You may all think
I'm wrong to see
a resemblance between
Mr. Nikolaou and a panda.
But I will not retract it!
Can we continue, now?
Who's next?
Okay.
I've got someone.
If he was clothing?
He'd be... a blue vest.
If he was fruit?
Pineapple.
If he was a lighter?
- What do you mean?
- It's a dumb question.
I mean, an expensive lighter
or a plastic one?
It's a dumb question.
- He'd be... a plastic lighter.
- I think I got it.
Careful, if you're wrong you're out.
Wrong.
If I were clothing I'd be a blue vest?
That makes no sense.
And there's no way in hell,
if I'm a fruit, I'm a pineapple.
Pineapple for sure.
Take back, right now,
that if I were a fruit, I'd
be a pineapple.
- Take it back now.
- I'm not taking back anything.
It's unfounded!
- You're a pineapple.
- It's unfounded!
If he was...
a state in the United States
of America?
The cabin boy.
The cabin boy?
Yes. It's the cabin boy.
How did you know?
See that? Now who's the pineapple?
Congratulations.
You have two points and
you're ahead so far.
Thank you.
Who's going next?
I'm not playing anymore.
I'm tired and I'm bored of this game.
OK. I'd be bored too,
and give up, if I were losing.
Just because you can guess
who's a kiwi and who's a pineapple,
doesn't mean you're better than us.
In case you're wondering,
you're not the best in general.
You're the best at
that particular game.
Only.
All right, then let's play the game
Of The Best in General...
How about it?
But wait, actually we can't play that,
because that game doesn't exist.
Pity.
Why don't we play something else?
Cards, let's say.
Unfortunately I don't know
how to play cards.
I know a game we can play...
but I don't know if we can
finish it before we get back.
What game?
I played it last year with friends.
It's very simple.
Each of us thinks up a contest
where we all compete.
Anything you want.
A physical test or
a mental challenge.
We each score each other.
And he with the most points, wins.
Sounds fun.
Well, I'm...
I'm not sleepy. I'll play it.
But now that I think about it...
we can't play that without
a chevalier signet ring.
Why the ring?
Because whoever wins,
puts on the ring and wears it
until the next game.
We'll give him something else.
It doesn't have to be a ring.
We can't do that.
How can we play a game
called Le Chevalier,
and then give the winner...
something like a glass of
water, or a vase?
We could play a game called chevalier.
Doc, what if, just to get started,
you lend us your own
chevalier ring?
Don't be ridiculous.
Trivial Pursuit?
Sure. Whatever you guys want.
I do not play Trivial Pursuit.
Yeah, I was just kidding.
Fine. OK.
Why don't we start this game now,
and when we get back to Athens,
we'll get a ring.
Yorgos, are you playing?
I'll play... if we change
the game a little bit.
Meaning?
When do we arrive?
Hopefully tomorrow night.
Okay, so I propose, until then,
we don't judge each other
only on the chosen contests...
But?
But on everything.
Everything we do.
How we speak.
Loudly? Slowly?
What words we use.
How we laugh.
If we show our teeth when we smile.
How we look,
and how we look at each other.
How we walk.
Why we walk and we don't sit down.
How we think.
Everything.
And whoever is the best,
at everything,
he wears the chevalier.
In other words, the game
Of The Best in General.
I'm fine with it. I'll
play it like that.
When you say we'll grade each
other on everything,
what do you mean?
Whether we kill sea-urchins,
for example?
Whether we kill sea-urchins or whether
our pants ride up too high.
My pants don't ride up too high.
They do, and you can ask anyone.
Do my pants ride up too high?
I think it's an okay height.
An okay height. See?
Thanks.
Thanks.
Nice underwear. Striped.
His posture is excellent.
Straight back, straight neck.
I don't think he's asleep.
How can he be asleep already?
He's asleep.
It's odd he doesn't sleep nude,
although he's a nudist.
That's because he's not asleep.
I don't like the way he's sleeping.
His body posture is too perfect.
I don't like what I'm seeing.
That's because he's not asleep.
He's asleep.
I don't know if I buy it.
Still, his underwear is nice.
The captain and the crew would like
to wish you good morning.
The temperature today will range
from 9 to 20 degrees Celsius.
Thank you.
How many fillings do you have?
Two.
And one root canal.
Did you have your teeth
cleaned recently?
Four months ago.
How many times a day do you brush?
Three.
Maybe... it's not enough.
I should do it more often.
Good morning.
Good morning.
It must be abandoned, eh?
Great day for jet-skiing!
Bravo, Josef.
Do I have time for breakfast?
Yes, grab a bite.
What will you have?
Coffee for sure, and maybe
some lemon cake.
How do you like your coffee?
Espresso. No sugar.
A splash of milk.
Evaporated milk.
I never put milk in my espresso.
Especially not evaporated milk.
Not that it's wrong.
I just don't like it.
Sure.
Josef!
Everyone is awake, we're
ready! Come on!
Can I go around again?
No.
What were you telling them?
You weren't really asleep.
You heard us.
As a favor, because you begged,
I brought you.
Or else you'd be in Athens now,
with mom.
Don't be ungrateful.
I only observed that nobody could
be asleep in such a perfect pose.
If you hit me again,
I'll tell everyone.
And I'll tell everyone you're
afraid to sleep alone.
Tell them. I don't care.
For polishing silver, there's a
secret few people know.
Toothpaste.
You won't believe it.
I wish you good luck.
I'm done.
I win.
I finished first.
Congratulations.
The spoons aren't perfect.
The tray? It looks dull.
It's silver-plated, not silver.
It's brass, that's why it
looks like that.
The spoons aren't perfect.
It's terrible.
It's silver-plated. It
doesn't get any cleaner.
Well you don't usually see the bottom.
What's wrong with it?
Help.
Help!
Help!
What happened?
You're the first who came.
Congratulations.
- What happened?
- Help!
Okay stop, that's enough.
Will you stop? The Doctor is sleeping.
In a contest like this, the Doctor's
the most important.
Exactly because he's a doctor.
Help!
What is it, what's happening?
The others said you wouldn't wake up,
but I told them you would.
- What's happening?
- You came last, eh?
Yeah.
Who got here first?
Yorgos, and me second.
Attention, please. We'd like
to kindly inform you
that on tonight's menu the cheesecake
has been replaced by lemon pie.
Thank you and we apologize
for any inconvenience.
Yannis, you're wearing shoes.
Sorry.
We never wear shoes inside the boat.
We went over that.
- What was your time?
- 18:01.
Not bad.
How's Anna?
Anna?
She's fine.
How long since you've seen her?
Long time.
Since our Christmas party last year?
Yeah.
You haven't seen her since?
No.
She's terrific.
She's very happy.
I think... the happiest
she's been in her life.
She nags me a bit,
when I get home late from work.
She cut her hair short and it
doesn't suit her, but...
Anyway it'll grow back.
She's fine.
We were thinking of buying
a camera like yours.
Especially if Anna manages
to get pregnant,
we'll need a good camera.
How much did yours cost?
I don't remember.
Have you considered it might be you
who has the problem?
I don't think so...
If Anna were 3 or 4 years younger,
she wouldn't have a problem.
Yannis, do you remember me
being an insurance agent,
and advising you on your
homeowner's policy?
No.
And do you know why I haven't?
Why?
Because I'm not an insurance agent.
So.
Don't play doctor for me,
and I won't play insurance
agent for you.
Have a good rest.
Don't put it out.
I won't tell anyone you smoke.
I wasn't smoking.
But I saw you.
Listen, it's okay.
I won't tell anyone.
You can come to my cabin and
smoke whenever you want.
Thank you.
I fell in love with a shepherdess...
a much admired maiden,
But I loved her very much
And I was still a songless bird,
And I was still a songless bird,
A boy of only ten.
Some tea with honey?
No, thanks.
Do you think he's impotent?
Impotent in general?
Unable to have children.
We can find out easily enough.
Bring him in to get tested.
At the clinic.
No, no.
It's not right. To force him?
Force him.
To come in and prove
to us that he's...
fertile.
We don't know anything about
their private life.
Do they use protection?
We don't know.
Is she on the pill?
Does he insist? We don't know.
You know Anna, she's sensitive.
She doesn't talk.
She doesn't tell me what's going on.
On the one hand that's a good thing.
I don't want her being dependent...
Being totally dependent on me...
Which she is, to a certain degree,
because it's something I strive for...
And I acknowledge this
weakness of mine.
I don't even know why you invited him.
And he's also terrible at
spear-fishing.
Christos!
Come, join me.
A reminder that shoes must be removed
before entering the main cabin area
of the ship. Thank you.
Want a sausage?
No.
Let me ask you.
Sea-urchin salad. How do
you make it?
The usual way. Olive oil, lemon.
The ones we caught weren't full.
You know, sea urchins are packed
with eggs at full moon.
Yes, I know.
Slipper lobsters are tasty too.
- And funny.
- How's that?
When you catch them.
That sound they make.
Beavers do that too.
You catch beavers?
No.
What about calamari?
I don't catch them.
But I do eat them, and I like them.
Know the secret to frying calamari?
No.
After you dry them, you wash
them thoroughly.
The secret is to drain the
water completely.
How, with napkins?
Napkins, paper towels,
bits of cloth. Anything.
You put them in a bag of flour
and shake it.
Don't you get flour all
over the kitchen?
I don't fry them in the kitchen.
My wife yells at me.
So where do you do it?
In the garden. With a camp stove.
Do you cook?
Not really.
But I do make a salad.
Pears wrapped in
prosciutto and arugula.
- Oh really?
- Yeah.
I cut the pears in slices,
put them in the oven,
wrap them in
prosciutto, tightly,
spread more prosciutto
around the plate,
and at very the end, right in
the middle: arugula.
Couldn't you also put the
arugula inside the rolls?
You could. You're totally free.
And for a dressing, I use
caramelized balsamic.
- How do you caramelize it?
- At 120 C.
- Raw fish, do you eat it?
- Raw? You bet.
Mr. Nikolaou doesn't, I guess.
With Josef you never know.
Not openly, at least.
He might hide in the toilet and eat
salmon Carpaccio. Who knows.
- You've been partners a long time?
- Eleven years.
- A very particular man, isn't he.
- You said it.
How long have you worked
for the Doctor at the clinic?
Four years.
And who will take over for him?
I heard he's retiring.
You'd have to ask him.
It's a big decision.
The Doctor is smart.
I'm sure he'll choose the best
man for the job.
How old are your kids?
My daughter's 16 and
my son's 12.
I had them young.
Well, not that young.
How old are you?
Forty-five. But I don't look it.
Wouldn't you have liked to play
the field a little more?
Not at all.
The dinghy is ready for anyone who
wishes to go ashore. Thank you.
Sorry, Christos...
It's OK. Don't worry about it.
What are you looking at?
- My hair? Is it a mess?
- A little.
- Now?
- Better.
Was it a mess before, or only
now with the wind?
Only now. Inside you were fine.
Have you thought of a contest?
I have, but I'm not crazy about it and
it's making me anxious.
Do you want to tell me?
Sure. Everyone describes
his house, in detail...
square meters, floor, and address,
and then we grade it.
You're right. It's not
very interesting.
No, it's not.
Don't suggest it.
Yorgos!
Three!
One!
One is like none.
Two.
Is someone writing these down?
I did.
- Three.
- Two or three, which was it?
- One.
- Four.
Two!
Three...
three...
- Bravo, Josef.
- Seven.
Yeah, right.
I don't believe it.
Did you see it? Seven.
Three.
Josef, how many?
I've done a whole variety.
- One.
- Two, one, three.
Write it down.
- Josef?
- Four.
Three, four, two, one.
I think it's our best contest so far!
What's wrong?
You're not talking?
- What you did wasn't right.
- What?
Letting them throw my
pebbles into the water.
You asked, so I gave them to you.
You didn't say they'd be
thrown into the sea.
I trusted you.
Pebbles belong in the sea.
No. Pebbles belong to me,
not the sea.
These pebbles, anyway.
Why do you want those
pebbles anyway?
They're pebbles. We'll get more.
I wanted to make a terrarium.
A what?
- A terrarium.
- A terrarium?
Yes.
What's a terrarium?
If you knew what a terrarium was,
you wouldn't throw my
pebbles in the sea.
Will you tell me?
No. Did you tell me?
I didn't tell you.
- But I did it for you.
- Yeah, right.
Don't say yeah right.
You shouldn't become so
attached to pebbles.
Pebbles come, pebbles go.
Other pebbles show up.
When you don't expect them.
Want to throw some?
Nobody's stopping you.
Well, I'm going to throw some.
- My geometry professor
was very strict,
and I knew he wouldn't tell me
my grade on the test...
With a little more feeling!
If you don't mind.
- My geometry professor
was very strict,
and I knew he wouldn't tell me
my grade on the test...
I was scared, but I had
nothing else to lose,
as I approached his office, to
ask how I had done.
Standing outside his door, I was
trembling with fear...
OK?
Josef?
And remember: I've seen your dick,
because you show it to us every
time you go swimming,
and it's not what you'd
call a big dick.
First of all, you know that a penis
which is not erect
can grow considerably
when it is, i.e.,
two penises where one
is smaller than the other,
when they're not erect, when
they become erect
the smaller can become the bigger.
That made no sense at all,
your syntax is shit and your
dick is very, very small.
I don't insult you, I'm always polite,
and I think my contest is very
fair to everyone.
I merely said that...
you alone didn't have
a morning erection.
And I think it must
mean something.
That I didn't have a morning
erection is completely irrelevant.
Maybe I'd just had a bad dream...
that you had died, let's say...
and I was sad.
Fair enough.
Anyway, we're on a tight schedule,
so I think you should get in there.
And please make sure the
focus is sharp,
otherwise we can't compare.
Press the screen and it
focuses automatically.
I know how to focus.
Very good.
OK, let's do it.
- Ready?
- Yep!
- Night had fallen,
when I arrived at
the college courtyard...
I'm telling you, it was that story.
The geometry teacher and the girl?
I couldn't imagine it.
If it was the one about the girl
whose car breaks down,
I'd have been fine.
I'm not saying you have a problem.
Maybe you were nervous, maybe...
Maybe you were embarrassed...
but you had better look into it.
Okay?
Hurry up! We're waiting for you.
Come on, get up.
Can you please tell me
what's going on?
Nothing's going on.
Want some tangerine?
- Making fun of me?
- Not at all.
You sit there and agree.
You say, Sure,
take off some of his points.
Points off from what? My cock?
I think you're overly upset.
Didn't we go together
to that apartment in Ilissia?
We did.
And when the client came to see it,
didn't I fuck her in the kitchen?
Yes or no?
I know it.
Did I get a hard-on instantly,
yes or no?
You did.
Did I get it up without her
even blowing me?
- I don't remember.
- What?
You were on the balcony,
watching us and laughing.
You're right. I remember now.
So when those guys started with
the insults and sarcasm,
why didn't you tell them to shut up?
Why didn't you tell them, stop guys,
don't make fun of Josef,
because I've seen him in Ilissia
with a beautiful erection.
I didn't tell them because
it's against the rules of the game.
What rules? There are no
rules to this game.
There are no rules to this stupid
game you came up with.
You didn't tell them because
you're ungrateful.
You don't love me and
you're ungrateful.
Are you crazy?
- Oh, I'm crazy?
- Are you?
- I've lost my mind?
- Yes, you've totally lost your mind.
I've lost my mind? Is that it?
Calm down, now!
You better believe it!
- You better believe it.
- Calm down.
Our business is over. You and me,
we're over. We're through.
Nothing's over, you dog.
And you know what? You'll win.
But you won't actually win anything.
Even if you win, it doesn't mean
you're the best in general.
We'll win together.
- We'll win together?
- You and me.
Together.
Okay?
Sixth place Yannis, fifth Dimitris.
Fourth Yorgos.
Third Nikolaou.
Second Christos, first: the Doctor.
6th place: Nikolaou,
5th: the Doctor...
- The Doctor in 5th place?
- Yes.
Number 4, Dimitris.
3rd Yorgos, 2nd: Christos.
1st place: Yannis.
Yannis?
Why not Christos in first?
I don't know Christos.
Sometimes I think he's the best, and
other times he confuses me.
I'm torn between him and the
Doctor for first.
Now that I think of it, I believe
he deserves first place.
Christos doesn't deserve first.
Don't even consider it.
Like I said, I'm not sure.
I don't know him, it's
his first trip with us.
I might change my
predictions later.
It's just that his room is neat,
and he's very polite.
You?
Whom would you put in first place?
I don't know. Yet.
I still put Yannis first.
I'm sure about it.
The food was tasteless.
- Are you OK?
- Yeah...
But I'd like to keep that
between us.
- It could happen to anyone.
- I know.
But let's keep it
between us, okay?
Okay.
Thanks.
Don't worry.
Winds are mild rising to moderate,
3 to 5 Beaufort scale.
The sea will be disturbed, later a bit
disturbed, and then disturbed.
Thank you.
Does anyone want anything
from the kitchen?
I'm going to grab a bite. I'm hungry.
Sea's a little bumpy today.
Yes, it is.
We will dock at Faliro Marina, Athens,
in approximately two hours.
Thank you.
You're sure you don't
need anything else?
Yes. Thank you for everything.
As always you were excellent.
And as always I thank you
for your trust.
- If anything does come up...
- We won't need you.
I wish you a pleasant rest.
I hope everything goes well,
and you win.
That's what I wish you.
Thank you.
You two are not dismissed yet.
I'll need you for one or
two more days.
One or two, Doctor?
Either one or two. I don't know.
Maybe three.
Maybe 20.
- Is it important?
- Of course not.
It's just about the provisions.
I'll be giving you a list of
what we'll need.
Certainly.
That will be all.
Hello.
Hi, how are you?
Fine.
Have you arrived?
No, and we're going to be late.
Tomorrow afternoon we'll try to
set out again, and we'll see...
Okay.
Is it very windy?
Quite.
But don't worry.
There's no reason to worry.
It's just that I wanted to be
home today, to see you.
I've missed you.
Have you missed me?
Sure. I've missed you.
Do you love me?
Yes, I love you.
Are you sure everything's okay there?
Yes. Everything's fine.
You? Any news?
Nothing much.
They came to clear out
the garden today.
The rose bushes will die soon,
if we don't do something...
Darling,
speak up, I can't hear you.
I said, the men who came
today for the garden,
said the rose bushes need attention.
We have to adjust the watering system
and see if the oleanders
need pruning...
So. I will now...
make a call to my mother.
Wait, sorry, I'm not ready.
- That's the default RINGTONE, right?
- Yes.
It's been like that
since I got it.
Is that the sound of a frog?
- No.
- What is it?
A telephone sound.
An electronic sound.
Why did you choose that RINGTONE?
My son went into the settings,
and he chose it.
Someone may give you an awful shirt,
but once you put it on,
the bad choice is no longer theirs,
but yours.
That's correct.
I wasn't making excuses.
And in any case, it's not
the sound of a frog,
it's a simple electronic sound.
Of a frog.
Excuse me, but maybe he
hasn't changed it
to not upset his son.
Precisely.
Just a moment. We're asking Yorgos,
We're not asking you.
I didn't answer. I only hypothesized.
No, no. A specific question
was put to Yorgos,
and Yorgos should answer.
I didn't answer, I only
hypothesized. Right?
Dimitris's hypothesis was correct.
You're a very beautiful woman.
Why is such a beautiful woman
here alone...
by the road, at this hour?
No spare tire? Well,
that is a problem!
Let's see if there's anything
I can do to fix it.
Let's see. It's difficult.
It's difficult but let's see.
Yorgos?
Yorgos?
Are you asleep?
I've got a beautiful erection,
enduring and engorged.
Open up, let me show you.
Yorgos?
Yannis?
Go call that geometry professor,
I've got something for him.
Whoever wants to,
can come out and get fucked.
Come on, I don't have all night.
I'm too busy!
Do you want me to fuck you?
I have a really great erection.
Do you want me to fuck you?
Come now, drink this.
One crazy night in Lilliput City,
In the purple Lilliput City...
In the cake-shop of the
Sugar-saurus...
I was throwing doughnuts in
the air for you!
And you spread jam all over me!
So get ready because I'm
coming back...
to Lilliput City!
Get ready because I'm coming back
to Lilliput City!
I thought you were exaggerating,
but you were right.
He does snore loudly.
Of course he may have a
sinus problem,
or infected adenoids.
I'm sure he's started smoking again.
Earlier I saw cigarettes and a
lighter on his desk.
Silk Cut?
Yes. You saw them too?
They're not his. They're mine.
I forgot them on deck and he
probably noticed them.
- You smoke?
- Shhhh...
You smoke?
I smoke. A little.
There's drool on the pillow.
Next, please.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- How are you today?
- Fine.
You seem a little pale.
I'm fine.
Roll up your sleeve please.
Done.
Would you like some orange juice?
No, I'm okay.
Next please.
Who's next?
Good morning, Dimitris.
Have a seat.
Roll up your sleeve.
Make a fist,
and take a deep breath.
Sorry, sorry...
I need some time.
It's nothing.
Just a little prick.
Turn the other way,
so you don't see the needle.
Like that.
I don't want to give blood.
Can I not give blood?
Of course...
but realize there
will be consequences.
Please try.
It's a shame if you don't.
It won't hurt, trust me. It's nothing.
I have a recent chest X-ray.
I can have it brought
here if you want.
Don't be afraid.
It will only take a moment.
No, I can't do it,
I'm sorry, I can't.
All right... listen.
Sit.
Sit.
Close your eyes.
And I'll apply a special ointment.
It burns a bit, but then you
won't feel anything.
Okay?
Close your eyes.
Now I'll apply the special
ointment, okay?
You lied to me!
I knew you'd lie to me.
That wasn't fair.
I was straight with you,
but you weren't.
That wasn't nice.
Your behavior is appalling.
Forgive me. I apologize.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
Dimitris?
Why the hell are you smoking?
I just started now.
Okay, you don't need this.
And don't beat yourself up.
I know that if the doctor
had insisted a bit more,
you would have done it.
I've given you really high points.
That's great.
And to Christos?
Christos too.
But more points to you... so far.
I've given you high points too.
Wasn't I doing fine until today?
You certainly were.
And you'll keep on doing well.
Finished!
Finished!
Finished.
Finished.
Where'd that thing go?
I'm done.
What happened?
What happened?
The instructions were confusing.
They weren't clear at all!
Not to me anyway.
Okay, don't fret.
Maybe it was defective?
You think so?
Well, it's too late now.
These eggplants aren't
good for stuffing.
We needed the
flask-shaped ones.
I told you again and again.
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry's no good.
I can't work with these eggplants.
You have to go back and
get the right ones.
Yes, sir.
And what about the way to cook them?
You remember what I taught you?
We cut them in half,
salt them,
and leave them for 20 minutes.
Enough.
Go get the flask-shaped
ones and get back here.
Right away.
What will you get?
Flask-shaped ones.
What will you get?
Flask-shaped ones.
Blood sugar.
Normal levels are from 70... to 110.
If you're within that range,
raise your hand so we can see you.
Fine.
Cholesterol.
Maybe...
Should we do creatinine first?
No, cholesterol comes first.
Christos?
- Yes?
- 260.
260, Christos?
I thought you were watching
your nutrition.
That's not good.
I too thought you were
watching your nutrition.
As for me I can easily call
and have that chest X-ray
brought here.
If you'd like.
Triglycerides.
You were good on the phone. Thanks.
You helped me a lot.
They were all convinced we're
very happy together.
I don't know why...
I'm stressed out.
No, I'm doing OK, but...
I don't know...
You're right. I will.
You're right.
Do you think my thighs are fat?
Are you sure?
I'm the best.
I'm the best, I'm the best,
I'm the best...
My thighs aren't fat.
I'm the best, I'm the best...
I don't have high cholesterol.
I have low cholesterol!
I'm the best!
I don't bite my nails.
No - I do bite my nails! And
I'm the best!
Are you cold?
Me? No.
Why, is it cold?
- Are you cold?
- No.
Doctor, are you cold?
Are you kidding?
Not at all.
I must admit, I am a little cold.
Wouldn't it be great,
to always be on holiday?
That would really be perfect.
You're cold?
No.
I do apologize. I never...
That hardly ever happens...
It's probably all that garlic in the
stuffed eggplants.
Dimitris?
Will you show us what you prepared?
It's very impressive.
Well...
It's nothing really.
You're being modest.
It's very impressive.
Come on.
What you did was totally idiotic.
And dangerous, in this wind.
Those fireworks aren't meant for that.
I did it...
Dimitris was singing, and...
and it seemed like a good idea.
I'm sorry.
It had nothing to do with
Dimitris's song.
It was unnecessary.
It both endangered your brother,
and was pointless.
It wasn't relevant, and it
was ridiculous.
It was relevant.
And everyone loved it, didn't you?
I liked it.
For me it was okay, I didn't mind.
It didn't really fit.
Oh, it didn't fit?
It fit!
It fit absolutely, and that's final.
You're unfair, Doc, because
if someone else did it,
you wouldn't reprimand him,
you'd reward him.
If Christos did it, you'd praise him.
You'd say Good job, Christos,
my boy!
Well I'm more...
than Christos.
Did you know I sold 170 insurance
policies last year?
Can you even grasp that number? 170.
So tell Christos to make a baby
with your daughter,
because me? I don't really want one.
If he can, that is.
Because Anna said...
Little Christos didn't do
so well there.
Yannis,
shut up.
You think Anna hasn't told me?
She told me what a loser you were.
That you made her lick your feet
to get a hard-on.
It made her sick!
And so did the gifts you gave her!
Picture frames? Dumb greeting
cards that play music?
And desk sets!
She showed me your gifts and
we laughed.
We still laugh at you.
Apologize.
- Apologize.
- No.
Apologize.
No.
And if you must know, Anna
wanted that stuff!
She wanted that desk set!
I didn't choose it alone!
But you have no taste, Christos.
Your taste sucks.
It's a fact, what can I do?
Apologize. Apologize now.
A little lower please...
I can't reach your feet
to lick them!
So you can get hard and fuck
Anna and make a baby!
Apologize!
Take off your shoes!
A desk set with a compass,
a letter-opener...
a pen and a paperweight!
Apologize!
What a lovely letter-opener!
What a lovely paperweight!
What wonderful gifts!
I'll put them on my desk!
Josef, take him inside!
You know that Anna still loves me!
And those cards! So romantic!
Oh! They play music!
Oh, I love you, Christos!
I love you!
I love your gifts!
Christos I love you!
I'm crazy about you, Christos!
Lick my feet, Christos!
Sorry.
Sorry.
If someone gets hypoxia while diving,
is it very dangerous?
Can you die?
Yes, it's dangerous.
The last time we dove,
Yorgos got hypoxia.
Luckily I saw him in time.
Until I took him to the surface
and saw him breathing,
I was really scared.
When I think that he
could have died...
It's horrible.
I don't even want to think about it.
Let me ask you something.
Gladly.
Do you think Yorgos is better than me?
Look, I know it's a weird question.
And you can't be objective,
because of our long-time friendship
and your devotion to me,
which is mutual of course,
but I would like to know.
If you think he's better than me.
I know you don't think so,
but I want to hear it myself.
Christos will win, won't he?
Or Yorgos.
Or Christos.
Christos or Yorgos?
Yorgos, or me?
The finalists are Yorgos and Christos.
The Doctor?
The Doctor is next to last.
He's very agitated.
He kept playing with his
chevalier ring,
taking it off, putting it on,
until his finger swelled,
and he asked me for some ice.
Then he asked me to get
him cigarettes.
A carton.
It's just like I predicted.
Nikolaou last.
The Doctor next to last.
How could he possibly have won,
the way he's going so bald?
Why are you staring at me?
Your hair's beginning to
fall out as well.
Here,
and here.
I hold you all in high regard...
you and your families.
I hold you all in high regard...
you and your families.
So...
I just wanted to...
on this occasion I
just wanted to say...
I hold you all in high regard.
You and your families.
But I have to admit, I feel,
as if I've won already.
Regardless of what
your final vote decides.
I want to thank everyone who
gave me high points,
but also those who gave
me low points,
because thanks to your
criticism and comments
I have become a better person.
All these days with you, you've
taught me many things.
About underwater fishing,
about making sea urchin salad,
Christos,
meteorology...
oceanography...
astronomy...
And Doc,
You taught me something I wanted
to know since I was a kid.
How to tell the Little Dipper
from the Big Dipper.
I taught you about the Big Dipper.
You too, Josef.
And the Doctor. It doesn't matter.
Maybe you taught me the Big Dipper,
and the Doctor the Little Dipper.
You, the Doctor, the Doctor, you...
Okay, enough.
What you're doing is unethical.
Trying to influence our opinions,
our votes... their votes...
Christos, I'm talking about
love and respect here.
Yes, it's a brilliant speech.
And not at all self-serving!
Go on, Yorgos.
I'm sharing what's in my
heart with you...
What are you doing, my boy?
It's okay, carry on.
And to show you my regard for you,
and how close to you I feel...
Put a few here.
Thanks.
Come on my boy. Finish up.
So.
To show you what's in my heart,
and how highly I regard you,
and how close to you I feel...
I will invoke the Secret Society
of Friends...
those brave ringleaders
of our national uprising of 1821,
who through the ritual of
the blood oath,
through the exchange of blood,
became linked through eternal ties.
Seriously?
This is the gift I ask of you.
And I'm certain you'll offer it...
And I'm ready
to receive it.
What the hell?
Is that knife sterilized?
I wiped it with alcohol and
held it over a flame.
This is over the top.
You've gone too far now!
Come on.
Someone?
I don't know about that...
I don't want to cut my arm,
I'll have a scar.
Then cut your leg.
Then I can't wear shorts!
- Make the cut on your behind!
- Find someone else.
Well?
I'd like to think about it.
Great, think about it.
I think I won't be doing that.
Somebody decide.
I'm bleeding here.
Can we bandage the thing
before you make a mess?
It'll be just a small cut!
I won't do it. I'm sorry.
This is really important to me.
It's important to me.
It's important to me!
I will gladly become your
blood-brother.
There!
- Dimitri you're not serious.
- I'm serious.
You wouldn't let the Doctor prick you,
but you'll do this?
Would you do it for me?
We're already brothers.
There's no point in being
blood-brothers.
Great...
- Did I do it?
- No.
Did I do it?
No. There's just a red mark.
Turn the knife to the side that cuts,
and press a little harder.
Yannis, say something!
Okay, I think it's all right,
Dimitris.
Let's leave it a little
longer to make sure.
A little longer? Okay.
Okay?
Okay.
Come on. Sure.
Bravo.
Bravo!
Thanks.
You're smoking?
Yeah...
No...
In the moment.
Where is it,
Where is it,
The little ring?
Search for it,
Search for it,
You won't find it.
You won't find it.
You won't find it.
The little ring
That you yearn for.
You won't find it.
You won't find it.
The little ring
That you yearn for.
What happened?
Nothing.
Is that blood?
Yes.
They slaughtered each other.
- Didn't you hear it?
- No.
Just before the final vote,
the Doctor insulted Christos in
front of everyone.
He got mad and attacked.
The Doctor grabbed a bread knife,
and as they wrestled on the floor,
he slashed his cheek, to the chin.
Like this.
Luckily Yannis broke them up,
otherwise the Doctor would have
cut him to pieces.
Yannis got hurt too.
He got stabbed in the knee.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
It probably cut a tendon,
but if you see Christos's face
you won't believe it.
Nikolaou left in tears,
the rest are down in their cabins.
An ambulance is on its way.
Christos lost a lot of blood.
You believed it.
No I didn't.
You did.
No I didn't.
Yes you did.
I didn't believe it.
Minus 6 points.
I didn't believe it, you
can't take off points.
Minus 12 for being a sore loser.
I won't lose. I'll win.
You'll never get the
chevalier. Forget it.
- Take that back.
- I won't.
You have a boundless imagination,
but none when it
comes to cooking.
You'll never be promoted to chef.
You're not a chef.
You're a cook.
Sorry.
Take it back about
not being a chef.
Certainly not.
Take it back now I said.
Let go of my tie.
- Take it back.
- Let go of my tie.
- Take it back.
- Let go of my tie.
- Take it back!
- Let go of my tie!
- Let go of my tie!
- Apologize now!