Confessions of a Superhero (2007) Movie Script

[wistful music]
[hair dryer whirring]
Hollywood is a place
where dreams are made
And dreams are broken.
Everybody and their mother wants
to go out for that lead role.
Sure, a doctor saves lives,
but is he remembered?
Is his--
is he there for all times?
Like people are still talking
about Marilyn Monroe.
People are still talking about,
you know, Elvis Presley.
People in the entertainment
business are forever here.
yeah, it's just like,
It's the money,
and it's the fame.
It's, you know,
that's all what it's about.
Actors now are making, God,
$20 million a movie, you know.
and it's tough, you know.
It's tough being out here
by yourself
Trying to be this actor,
you know, this actress.
we're like ambassadors
to Hollywood boulevard,
But at the same time,
We're out there trying
to sell ourselves
To the media,
the public,
directors alike.
Hello, citizens.
How are you?
I'm doing
quite super.
Hi, there,
get a picture
with him.
Yeah, go.
Come on in.
Uh, we do work
on tips, okay?
My name
is Christopher Lloyd Dennis,
And I play superman,
Aka, kal-el.
Afternoon, citizens.
For Christ sakes,
put on some clothes.
Oh, that's right.
I'm using my x-Ray vision again.
I was born here in California,
Decided that I was
gonna become an actor,
Because my mother
was an actress.
Can you guys take
a photo for them?
yes, sure.
Thank you.
She will take photo.
My name
is maximus "Batman" Allen.
First came out here, it was--
I had no intentions
of becoming an actor,
So it just kind of
came to place.
Yeah, we work on tips,
if it's okay.
It's just--yeah,
whatever you want to tip.
Right here.
All right,
here we go, folks.
All right,
I'll give it here.
My name is Jennifer Gehrt.
Yes, so this is
my insane occupation.
This is what I do.
I put these boots on,
and I go out there,
And I take pictures
with tourists.
Say, "cheese," baby.
hey, how are you?
Hi, my name's Joe McQueen,
and I play the Hulk.
I was born, originally,
in Pinehurst, North Carolina.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You know, I get, "hey, hey, man,
the Hulk's not a black man."
And I'll be like,
"well, he is
if you're in Hollywood."
Tourism is alive and well
in Hollywood.
I'm Leron Gubler,
president and CEO
Of the Hollywood
chamber of commerce.
The allure of Hollywood
is the magic associated
With the film industry,
the thought that,
"maybe, just maybe,
I might be able to meet
someone who's famous."
Some people used to say it's
the boulevard of broken dreams,
But it's actually the boulevard
of dreams come true as well.
We give out stars
on the walk of fame.
And it's interesting to me
how frequently
The stars who are honored say
That one of the first things
they did
When they came to Los Angeles
was come to Hollywood
And walk down
Hollywood boulevard,
Looking at those stars,
"someday I'm going
to have a star."
Well, the characters
are an entity,
An issue unto themselves.
There's a place for them,
As long as they don't get
too aggressive.
Our police
work very closely with us
To keep that
on the top of their minds
And to educate the characters
That they are ambassadors
for the community.
I would not say it's difficult
working with the characters.
I think I'd be hard-pressed
to say that.
It's annoying sometimes
but not difficult.
Hey, do you know
where the line
Between the public property
and the private property is?
That's it.
That's it.
[Chewbacca growls]
Ah, rrrr, yeah.
You can see there's lines,
But it's these double lines
right in here,
And this is the private property
on this side,
And that's the city sidewalk.
I'm not quite sure
about the DMZ there,
Well, they ought to be thrown
out of there,
And everybody in town
has tried to get them out,
And I hope they see this.
I say "hello" to them
when I go by.
Some of them are dirty.
Some of the costumes
are ridiculous.
Does anyone know
any one of their names?
Are they personally
What the people
are taking the pictures of
Or is it the costume
they're wearing?
I always felt
if I had a superpower,
There's no way
I would wear a costume.
I'm a showoff.
I'd want everybody to know.
I wouldn't wear a mask
and conceal my identity,
And I wouldn't want to look like
an idiot in some costume.
Well, you see,
it's a public sidewalk,
And the theater would like
to get rid of them.
They'd like to get them
out of there.
They're panhandlers.
You know, they come up,
And they pose
a picture with you,
Like, "oh, this is gonna be
for free,"
And then they stick their hand
out and want five bucks.
Uh, we don't work for tips.
We accept tips.
The process
is supposed to--okay?
Go like this:
Would you like a--
Sure, now, we work on tips,
if it's okay.
How much?
you want just me or--
Okay, here.
as the tourists come up, you--
They have to come up to you.
Okay, that's also a law
that says
You cannot come up to them
and solicit photos to them.
They have to come up to you.
You also cannot name amounts
unless you have a permit.
It's usually
one each.
Okay, and it's usually
fine doing more,
If that's okay.
You can't expect to get a tip,
because a tip is not mandatory,
You know, and nobody
has to give you a tip.
On a bad day,
I will go in.
I'll get out there,
and I'll start working
At, like, 12:00.
I'll work till 3:00,
and I make about $30.
And I'm like,
"you know what?
I could have done this
at another job."
I got the whole effect.
but on a good day,
We're really taking in the crowd
and we have good energy--
'cause that's important--
Thank you, sir.
I'll make about $150 an hour.
What's this
tasmanian devil?
Here you go,
I'll see you later.
can I get a picture of you
by yourself?
Oh, yes,
of course.
it's tips, you know.
Tips, donacion, pourboire--
[speaking foreign language]
You know, pick a language.
Thank you.
and like I said, I've been
tipped anywhere from,
God, a quarter--
thank you very much--
To $100--
I mean, one shot.
Me and superman both
got a $100 Bill.
Thank you.
now, hold on.
I got the last one;
this one's yours.
okay, well, I'll keep it.
okay, as good as one on one,
all right.
I told him, I said,
"you know,
this is not a $1 Bill."
And he goes,
"oh, no, no problem."
"thank you very much, man."
Uh, two.
There it is.
And the next one
is yours.
Hello, folks,
we can make between
$200 to $300 a day.
And on a really good day,
you could make about $595.
Who's out there?
Okay, we have two Jack sparrows,
There's about three supergirls.
There's three Marilyn Monroes,
Three Elvises,
Pinhead from Hellraiser,
About six spider-men,
Wonder woman.
We have these guys that we call
the En Garde Buddies,
Because they don't really have
a movie character
That they're doing.
We have Charlie Chaplin,
Who has now changed himself
to some sort of
Japanese geisha man
or something.
So there's quite a list.
hi, did you want a photo?
(Ghost Rider)
don't forget Ghost Rider.
and we have Ghost Rider.
We do accept tips,
You're scary.
I know,
but I'm a good guy.
You got to remember
there's a lot of dos and don'ts
As a superhero.
But if you abide by them,
you'll do okay.
Well, just remember,
superheroes don't smoke.
It's an image.
Except Ghost Rider.
No, Ghost Rider
doesn't smoke.
He's made of fire.
But still,
he doesn't smoke cigarettes.
You can't make exceptions
for something
That doesn't exist.
You'll never see Ghost Rider
smoking a cigarette
Walking down the street.
It's just not proper.
You never see me
smoking a cigarette
Out here
in costume,
And you never will.
Ghost Rider.
How you doing?
What's up,
Ghost Rider?
Not much.
superman, superman.
I need superman.
You may have
I need superman.
Oh, my God.
Wow, I don't get
that much action.
I love superman.
Thank you.
Make it look cute.
There you go.
thank you very much.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
You guys have a great time.
you too.
Wow, did you see
where her hand was?
I have taken at least
A dozen pictures,
And I have not
been tipped once.
I'm about ready
to fly.
Well, that's okay.
It's not mandatory
that anyone tips.
I think it's
like theft.
No, it's not.
You walk into a store,
and you get a service,
And you don't pay
for it,
And you just walk away
like it's nothing?
Well, out here,
it's not mandatory.
Of course, but I mean,
it's only kind and considerate.
People look
at you like...
What kind of an attitude
is that?
I'm sorry.
It's just
time after time,
I took five--
at least over five,
Seven pictures
with these orientals,
And they just--
just--it just--
And then somebody saw them
not pay me,
And I asked them,
you know,
And then they
didn't want to do it.
It's like
domino effect.
And now these guys--
Well, it's not mandatory
that anyone pays.
I know, but come on.
You know, we could be
out here all day
And not make anything.
I know, but I usually--
at least a dollar.
Come on,
just at least a dollar.
[hair dryer whirring]
I like to consider myself
to be a historian of superman
And the keeper of artifacts.
This is superman the movie
And superman ii,
the movie soundtracks.
They're signed
by the whole cast.
everybody has one of these
friends that are just like--
They're, like, really weird,
really out there.
He is so strange,
And there are some times
when it's like,
God, this is a train wreck,
but you can't look away.
You can't.
This is basically the diorama
that I built
Out of cardboard
and other pieces of paper
And whatnot.
This is the departure
from krypton.
This would be a scene
from the Christopher reeve
Superman the movie.
Yes, obsessed.
He is, yeah, he's very bold
and very obsessed.
That would be the one word
for superman.
I've also started up
with a new diorama.
It's actually right behind me.
It's going to be
the three villains
But right now,
Ursa doesn't have her head on,
Because I still need
to find a head.
Well, that body
sure makes a good Ursa,
Doesn't it?
Well, you're gonna love this.
That's actually
a wonder woman body.
I'm a PHd student in psychology,
and I'm working on my thesis.
I get all kinds of jokes
about being in my field
And being with Chris.
Chris is 1 in 10 billion.
He's somebody
who's able to fixate
On something
that he's passionate about
In the extreme,
Far beyond
what most--
Any mortal man
will do.
Yes, most ordinary,
mortal men would do.
And, uh, yeah,
Obsessive doesn't even begin
to really describe it,
But, um, I'm not sure
if there are words
Existing in our language
to describe--
Only on krypton.
Yeah, well, that's--
I think--
There you go.
I think that's
what it is.
It may be that we would find
the appropriate words
And emphases fully
on another planet.
This is four years,
four years in the making.
And we've got--
Every one
of those books and stuff
That's right there
on that shelf over there
Is all superman-related
as well.
We spent about
$70,000 to $80,000,
Maybe even $90,000 worth
of merchandise.
You haven't been back this way
real quick.
hey, what are you
doing here?
We can zip off
into that way.
Yeah, but I'm going
that way.
we're starting to put
some posters up in here.
This is gonna be like a poster
and action figure room.
We got a lot of action figures
on the walls
And stuff here as well.
How much would I guess
it's worth?
I would probably say
That we're probably sitting
close to $1 million or more.
I've never seen someone
so taken in by--
It's like he's suffocating
in the world of superman.
Suffocating, no--
He has suffocated.
He cannot breathe anymore.
That is the only thing
that he knows,
But that's part of his charm.
I am wonder woman
on Hollywood boulevard
At Manns Chinese theater--
Not with Manns Chinese theater,
just at Manns Chinese theater.
where are you from?
I'm from Knoxville,
I thought you were
from Maynardville.
Okay, I'm from Maynardville,
But nobody knows
that hole in the wall.
Um, there's, like, a population
Of between
2,000 to 2,500 people.
My grandpa is the judge
of the town.
My dad's a minister.
My mom and my aunt
run the union farmer's co-op.
(Fred Wenger)
her name--Jenny--
You named her after a horse,
didn't you?
Yeah, you know,
The mule--the female mule
is a Jenny,
And the--
she's stubborn as a mule.
She's gonna really enjoy
that you told about that.
The male donkey
is a Jack,
And the female's
a Jenny.
That's why--
her name--Jenny.
[children babbling]
% happy birthday to you. %
[girls shouting rhythmically]
[girls singing indistinctly]
is that camera on
over there?
We knowed
she was gonna be in movies
From when she was little.
We'd say it
all the time.
My dad was very--
"there's only one way
to do things,
"and there's only one way
to get to Heaven,
"and there's this set of rules
that God has for everyone,
"and you should
just follow them,
Or you're going to hell."
And my mom was a little bit
more loose with that.
She let me be a human,
and she let me make mistakes.
And she knows all my mistakes,
But she knows
all my accomplishments as well.
And my dad missed out
on some of my accomplishments
Because he was too busy worrying
about mistakes.
The year
that she was a cheerleader,
They won the national champions,
didn't they?
They won the cheer-off.
It wasn't the national--
It was a cheer-off
at six flags over Georgia.
But they'd never done
that before.
People thought
that I should love high school
And that I should--
I was voted miss union county
in high school
And best all-around
my senior year,
And I was homecoming Queen.
I was on homecoming court
my Junior year,
And I was voted miss freshman
And always--you would think
that I had a lot of fun,
But I hated high school.
I graduated early
to get out of there.
I just hated it so bad.
I just felt like
I was suffocating in that town.
(Karen Wenger)
she made a few "b"s,
you know, mostly "a"s,
And she made a few "b"s,
But that wasn't the important
thing for her in school.
It was socializing.
That was what she was here for:
To make everybody happy
By spreading
her own little quality,
Own little brand of sunshine
Around everybody's day
every day.
She thought that she
was put here to entertain
The people here.
This wasn't where she
was supposed to go and learn.
I always liked to perform.
Cheerleading, you know,
I loved to choreograph dances
and stuff like that.
So performing
was what I wanted to do.
I knew that.
She done many a musical or play
up there.
If people were gonna be
on a stage,
She wanted to be there too.
[mechanical whirring]
Here's what happened the day
I decided to move to L.A.
I was at college.
I was a college cheerleader,
and I came home for fall break,
And I just laid on the floor
and cried.
She always had that little bit
of unhappiness about her.
She could never be
happy here.
And she and I were sitting
in the living room.
She was kind of upset
one night,
And she's like, "I'm never gonna
get to be what I want to be,
"do what I want to do,
you know.
I'm stuck here
in this town."
And it was just
blah, blah, blah.
She was real upset,
and I said,
if you want to go, go.
And she said,
"well, do you want to get
on a plane and go to L.A.?"
And I said, "yes."
It's like she totally knew.
She goes, "how soon
do you think I could go?"
I said,
"when do you want to go?"
She said,
"I want to go tomorrow."
I said, "okay,
we'll book a flight."
And she was gone,
just like that.
Well, the reason why
I moved out here is,
You know, at a young age,
you know, I had this acting bug.
And I'm from North Carolina,
so, you know,
It can really get pretty boring,
And, you know, you want to go
see other things in life,
So I was like,
"you know what?"
I just sold my super nintendo,
Got me a greyhound bus ticket,
and headed out here.
When I first got here,
The Rodney king riots
had started.
It was, like,
the second day of it.
It was like a wakeup call.
"welcome to L.A.," you know.
Got to town,
riots were going on.
I was a scared young black man,
didn't know what to do,
Saw all these, you know,
cops, undercovers,
Busting all the looters.
My thing was to get to safety
and find refuge,
So being a country boy,
I said, "you know what?
"I'm headed for the hills,
'cause I know ain't no looters
gonna run up here, you know."
My biggest obstacle, you know,
trying to make it out here
As being an actor,
you know, my teeth.
You know--
you know, every--you know,
Every celebrity
that I know in Hollywood
Has perfect white teeth.
And but, you know,
people keep telling me,
"oh, well, look at
Steve Buscemi's teeth."
I say,
"well, that's Steve Buscemi.
"you know, he's been in the game
longer than I have,
And people just accept him."
Hey, what's up?
how are you?
How you doing?
You know, I'm still
in a, you know, a hard rock,
You know, out here,
trying to change my life.
You know, it's not easy.
What's up, guys?
How you doing?
Are you hot?
No, I'm used to it.
I feel so much like a loser,
because I didn't come out here
To get in a costume
and stand on Hollywood boulevard
To make chump change.
You know, I'm out here seriously
Trying to make a name
for myself.
To me, it was a different way
of panhandling.
I have to say "performing,"
you know, for money.
You know, and that's basically
what I see it as.
Originally, I'm from Texas.
I was born and raised there.
Born in Austin,
raised in Houston and Dallas,
And then lived in Waco
The last few years
I was in Texas.
Youngest of, you know,
three kids,
An older brother,
an older sister.
You know the whole scenario.
So yeah,
kind of a rambunctious kid,
Let's just say,
Rebellious, and then--
So it was kind of
a rough childhood.
Batman, I just--
I kind of fit in to it.
It just kind of fell in place
more or less in '87.
I didn't really start
to get into acting
Till about '89.
And it was just extra work,
And of course, you need money
to invest into, like, headshots
And everything else.
And of course, at the time,
I didn't have it.
So it took me--
you know, it's an investment.
Acting is actually
an investment.
Then everybody
started telling me,
"you know, you look just like
George Clooney,"
And I couldn't figure out
who George Clooney was,
So of course, er.
So that made it even worse
for me as an actor,
Because, you know,
now you're a look-alike.
I've actually got a black belt
in tae kwon do,
Got one in tiger kung fu.
I studied ninjutsu for a bit,
And then of course,
I know hand-to-hand
From the special forces
So of course, I started doing
look-alike things,
You know, trying to, you know,
fit in somewhere.
And that's when I met superman,
superman Chris.
And he'd been doing superman
out in the boulevard
For, God, 11 years.
And so he said, "you know,
you should come out
And work with me
as George Clooney,"
Of course, the doctor from er,
and that's how I started out.
Well, I like Batman.
I think the whole deal
is pretty good.
He gets a lot of attention
on the boulevard.
He's done birthday parties
and has done Christmas parties
At, like,
elderly high-rises as--
Actually, that he doesn't do
as Batman.
He does his Dr. Douglas Ross,
Because he looks like
George Clooney.
And, um...
But yeah, it's a living.
It helps pay the bills,
'cause I'm disabled,
So I'm not able to work
right now.
My relationship with my wife
is very good.
Well, my wife,
I guess she likes--
My wife likes what I do.
She actually wishes, of course,
I made more money
at doing it,
But she's kind of proud
of the fact
That she can tell people
that she's married to Batman,
For one thing, and the fact
that I look like George Clooney.
She likes that fact too.
"describe Maxwell."
Well, he's--all in all,
he's a good man.
He's a good provider.
He's spontaneous,
very protective,
Protective of what he loves
and what he cares about.
He has a bit of a anger problem.
He doesn't necessarily
take the anger out on me,
But he usually tends
to get angry over things
That he cannot control.
Love you.
Take care.
You're on your own then.
if he would realize that getting
angry doesn't change it,
He would have a better handle
on his anger.
[engine revving]
you being a superman fan,
you should know this.
Metropolis, Illinois,
is the home of superman.
All right,
metropolis, Illinois,
All right,
really does exist.
The second weekend of June,
They hold a superman
Oh, wow.
All right, they always have
the celebrities show up.
This year, because Christopher
reeve had just passed on,
They're doing
a special send-off.
Margot kidder will be there,
who played who?
is she okay?
She's fine.
What am I trying to achieve?
I want to become
a leading actor.
Well, hi, there.
How are you?
I'm fine.
Would you like
to fly away?
wait a minute, okay.
Since she's going
for the dip...
My mother was Sandy Dennis,
an actress:
Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?
The out-of-towners,
splendor in the grass,
Sweet November.
She got two consecutive Tonys
and an Oscar.
It is the only thing that I own
that I really care about.
Now, I'm not gonna forget it,
and I'm not gonna leave it.
I don't care what you do
or where you go--
You're upset.
on her deathbed,
She still wanted me
to get into the movie industry,
So I figured,
"well, it couldn't hurt
It's done her pretty good
and whatnot."
So I figured,
"what the heck?
I'll give it a shot."
(Pam Dennis)
when she was--
started doing the movies,
And she started
making more money,
Then she just started
being generous with her money,
You know, by sending grandma
places that she wanted to do
And having us girls come
and spend time with her.
You know, I spent a Summer
in England with her
When I was 16,
and I mean, good grief.
You know, she just bought me,
like, everything I ever wanted.
You know, it was like
a teenager's dream.
She basically kept
a very private life,
You know, with her family
and stuff like that.
She didn't want a lot
of this stuff out.
my fourth night in the town--
In town, period,
Fourth night ever,
I went to a broadcast seminar.
And I went in late,
And another Guy
came in late behind me
And sat down
and started ripping jokes.
We were telling jokes together,
and we just really clicked,
And we traded numbers.
Then two weeks later,
We were out to eat
for my birthday,
And he just--
he asked me what I wanted to do.
And I said,
"I don't know.
You know,
what do you want to do?"
He was like, "well, do you want
to go watch a movie?
I was like, "no,
we always go out to movies."
He was like, "well, do you want
to go to Vegas and get married?"
And I said, "sure."
He said, "are you serious?"
I said,
"yeah, you're not serious?"
He said, "yeah."
And so he said,
"check, please."
hey, honey.
Say something
to our kids.
So you didn't think
your dad was cool, eh?
I was cool back in the day,
because I'm 26,
And you see how hip I was.
So we're at the Rio hotel
in Vegas style,
And it's a countdown about,
What, seven hours
till we get married?
so now, wait,
when you marry me,
You get
all the bad credit too.
So if you--
if we ever get divorced,
Then you get half
of by bad credit
And half of my debt.
So you've got
to take that half.
It might be worth it.
So we're ready to rock.
What's the name
of this place?
Steve's buy and sell.
Steve's buy and sell,
So if you ever
want to get married--oh, yeah.
All right, next step:
Let's go get that license.
Okay, so it's official.
Hey, come here,
you little shit.
We just got married,
And the lady at burger king
didn't give a crap.
You notice that?
It was the best reception
I've ever been to
Until our second one.
I love you.
Eh, hey.
I was homeless
for approximately four years.
It was actually something
I would never push
on anybody else,
Especially being homeless
at a young age.
I still managed
to do my auditions
Because I was serious,
And I felt like my energy needed
to give off because of my pain.
And like they always say
in Hollywood,
"use that energy
to bring out the best in you."
I tell you, every audition
that I managed to get to,
It was tough,
because I had my bags with me,
You know,
and I felt embarrassed,
Because everybody else,
You know, was either driving,
you know, or dressed nice.
And my goal was not to let
anybody else know I'm homeless
Just by, you know,
the clothes you wear.
I always managed to wake up
early in the morning,
Go to McDonalds,
You know,
use that as my bathroom,
But at the same time, you know,
I would get, you know,
People, you know, looking at me.
You know, my hygiene
wasn't all there at sometimes,
You know,
'cause I would walk places.
My worst experience was actually
getting laughed at
At an audition.
And I don't wish that
upon anybody,
So it kind of hurt me.
Yo, this is it right here.
This is the old area.
I remember, late night,
Me coming to get some sleep,
and I would head this way.
Right here is where
Joe McQueen slept.
Right here.
I guess it's nothing now,
but this is where I would hide
From everybody,
right here.
They put a whole gate here, man.
Yeah, you know,
I had my whole setup
right here.
You know, I would put my blanket
right here
And go to sleep
into the next day.
And then I would hear
the store owner's footsteps.
That's what would wake me up.
That was like my alarm clock,
you know, like,
He would say, "okay, get up,
get up, time to get up."
You know, but wow,
things change.
hey, do a punch.
[speaking foreign language]
Okay, we turn in
with the heel.
Turn all the way.
what are we doing here?
Turn straight
with the heels.
Yeah, turn and--
Well, okay, now martial arts
and stuff was--
I kind of got thrown into it
way back when.
I started working for a guy,
a very rich guy,
And that's where I got
into the martial arts,
Because he wanted body guards
and stuff.
So that's when I got
into the martial arts,
And then I got into boxing.
And then of course,
he had his own stunt car thing,
So he put me as the driver.
That's how I became the driver,
and actually,
I got into guns and all that
because, you know,
Doing the bodyguarding
back in Texas.
And so, yeah, so I just became,
actually, very good at it,
And so now I'm trying
to make a living at it.
The heel.
Turn with the heel.
And, okay, from here--
change your--
That's fine, okay.
the other way, right?
No, this hand's
right here,
So you've got to change
your other leg, okay.
we weren't exactly
on the side of the law,
But let's just say by--
not by choice, okay?
I had to work for--
The man I worked for,
like I said,
The guy was very rich,
but he was also very Italian,
And we'll leave that there.
Very man--
with very long Italian names.
[speaking foreign language]
And of course, me,
I played bodyguard
and security,
And of course,
made him money in the ring.
And I used to fight under
the name of maximus canavino.
That's--and of course,
we were gladiators.
That's when the movie
gladiator came out,
And I thought
that was just the bomb.
Ooh, nice.
[both laughing]
There are some things that
have happened in Maxwell's past
That I think
were detrimental to him.
I think some of it
was a little shady,
Kind of like
gang-oriented type things.
Okay, as far as doing the things
you see in the movies,
Such as collecting,
collections and stuff like that,
the answer would be yes.
Not that we
would break kneecaps,
But we would make them
think of death.
We have--I have slapped
a few men around more than once
Because of the fact
that they wouldn't do
What they were supposed to.
well, Bruce Wayne.
We meet again.
How you doing, sir?
Nice office.
How you doing, sir?
Pleasure to meet you.
Nice costume.
Batman--well, let's just say
Batman has a lot
of suppressed anger
For one thing.
Yeah, a lot of skeletons
in the closet,
Let's just say.
So yeah, but for years,
I've probably needed
to see a psychiatrist,
Someone to help me
with the problems
Or how to overcome
the problem.
And the biggest problem
is the anger.
Anger's probably the thing now.
What triggers it?
God, a lot of things,
a lot of things.
But all my life,
I mean, you know,
All my life, even as a kid,
I've always had
suppressed anger,
Always had a fight,
always had a battle.
You know, and of course,
in the younger years,
There's a lot of bad things
I did back then.
Have you ever hurt someone
real bad?
Oh, yes.
Unfortunately, yes.
Uh, like to the hospital
and then some or--
And then some.
yeah, we won't--
Well, yeah,
they've already--
Yeah, I've, uh,
Unfortunately left a body count
between that one too.
you're giving me
a hard time.
Pardon me.
Pardon me, guys.
Cutting through,
Here come the limos.
Here they are.
They're here.
He's signing.
Melanie's here.
She's over there.
Hey, Melanie!
Over here!
I think he's coming.
Can you please sign
the DVD right here for me?
Thank you.
Yes, we got Antonio Banderas,
and we got Antonio Banderas.
We got them both.
[exotic music playing]
hi, you sure may.
There we go.
Oh, we do work on tips.
Let's see
if I have dollars.
So do you do this
all the time?
When I'm not working
in movies and TV shows.
I'm serious.
I'm also an actor.
Let's see, I've been
in, like, 18 movies,
9 TV shows, 4 commercials,
and a couple music videos.
% moving to the left,
moving to the right.%
% moving to the right. %
% give it up. %
% do the lumba. %
% give it up
to the Summer. %
% doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. %
There's just so many of us
That they don't know
who to take the chances on.
You know, you have to really
give them something
That lets them say,
"ooh, money.
I can make money with this one."
All righty.
Good morning.
Good morning.
So tell me the bottom line,
what we're doing,
And what you want
to accomplish.
Okay, I have a meeting
with a manager tomorrow.
So I need a manager,
'cause my agent
doesn't work for me,
And I've signed
a two-year contract with her.
And I need somebody
who's gonna work for me,
'cause this is a scene
from a movie
That I got down
to the bottom two,
But my agent
wasn't working for me,
And if I could just have
somebody in my corner,
I feel like I could be
a lot more successful.
Now let's read through
this first scene
And see what happens.
Get away from me.
Listen, Lise,
it wasn't me.
Well, then,
who else was it, then?
You're serious.
I can't take it anymore.
I can't take the bickering,
The mood swings
when you go on steroids,
The fighting,
your pimply ass,
And most of all,
your perverted behavior.
Okay, so we'll start doing it
from the front.
Are you going
or am I?
You know,
you're no hot stuff either.
Yeah, you fart in your sleep.
[whispering indistinctly]
Good, good.
I think because he looks
so much like George Clooney
That he thought his career would
take off a little bit faster,
A little bit more.
I mean, he's even been sent home
a couple times
'cause he looked too much
like Clooney.
"we don't want
a Clooney look-alike
In our movie or our show,"
or whatever they were doing.
Yeah, actually,
I've done one independent film.
It was actually my--
I guess you can say
my film debut--
Was in a--it was kind of
a gang rapper movie.
It was an independent,
but it was called
Who's making tha rules?
Now, what the fuck
do we have here?
Who the fuck is this?
You remember the first rule
was that you keep me informed
At all times.
Who the fuck
you supposed to be?
Somebody--the president
or some motherfucker?
I'm the boss.
I run everything.
Man, you don't run
a motherfucking thing.
Piss on this.
Go ahead.
hey, cuz.
I think he has some talent
as an actor.
I think he'd be a lot better
if he did do the acting classes.
You know, they say
that it's, you know,
Acting is in the blood,
you know.
And in a way,
I kind of believe it.
My mom did influence me.
When I was 17,
she was, you know,
Trying to get me to get
into the industry a little bit.
She had access and stuff,
you know,
So I should have jumped
on it then,
But I didn't.
You know, 'cause to me,
I was a wild kid.
I just wanted to go out
and find a job that was fun.
So I started off
with landscaping.
On her deathbed,
she asked me to give it a try.
You know, and before that,
I was in denial.
I didn't want anything
to do with it,
'cause I saw the headaches
and stuff that she went through,
Coming back, thinking she did
really crappy on an audition,
And it turned out to be
she did really good,
And they wanted her
for the part.
(Pam Dennis)
this is something
that comes from his soul.
It's what's driven him,
Just like my aunt
was an actress,
And it came from her soul,
and that's what she had to do.
What's wrong?
Why all the crying?
Where's your mummy
and daddy?
where do you live?
(Pam Dennis)
in the times
that I talked to him,
A couple times, his stories
have varied really wildly.
He told other people
he was with her at her death.
I know that he
wasn't there.
She was a very private person
in a lot of ways--
Her personal, you know,
emotional stuff, but--
And I don't think
she's his mother.
I mean, when would she
have had a baby?
Well, I'm not
going to leave him.
All right,
all right.
and it's impossible
to believe of Sandy
That at that point,
She wouldn't have said
to you guys,
"and, you know,
I have a son."
I mean,
that's just unbelievable.
and people think
that Sandy Dennis
Never had--
you know what I mean?
Never had a son.
I know.
I've heard that.
What--I mean,
what's your take on that?
Well, that's their opinion.
You know, all I know is,
she's my mom, you know.
Were you close to her
in your childhood?
I wasn't really
that close with her.
I was more of the troublemaker.
But I think most of
what I was doing was going out,
Trying to seek attention,
you know,
'cause she was always busy
with her work.
And of course, my dad,
he didn't stick around at all.
You know,
they weren't even married.
When I turned 17,
That was the last
that I've ever heard from him.
At that point, I was already
in shelters and group homes
And stuff like that,
Because my mom figured
she couldn't handle me.
Maybe these people can.
You know, and even they didn't
have that good of luck with me.
Something had to have been
that I think was difficult,
Because I see instances now
where sometimes I think
He didn't get maybe
That maybe a child needs
growing up,
Maybe attention
that every child needs.
I can't put my finger on it,
And again, because he doesn't
talk about that stuff too often.
There was a time in my life
where I was doing Crystal meth
And, you know,
just doing speed.
And I decided
that enough is enough.
You know, I was sitting there.
I was watching TV,
And you know how
if you do enough speed,
You start getting delusional.
So of course,
I'm sitting there.
I'm watching TV,
and I see a death scene.
So it was, like,
for, like, an instant,
It was almost like
I was seeing my own death,
Which that was like
a spiritual awakening.
(man #1)
was this all
before Bonnie?
Well before Bonnie.
(man #2)
was this
before superman?
Way before superman.
hi, officer.
What's going on?
Long time,
no see.
Well, I know.
Have you been all right?
I've been great, working,
Surviving the Oscars.
Where's Jordan?
Oh, he's at home.
He was gonna come out
a little later.
Several times a day,
one of these characters
Will, you know,
violate the laws, scare people.
[woman and children screaming]
Oh, I'm sorry;
how you doing?
One of the characters
that I do not recall
Getting a complaint
about aggressive begging
Or panhandling or that
is the original superman.
And I think he's the one
That looks
the most like superman.
Got the little curl up there.
thank you.
You bet.
And it's just tips,
It's whatever you all
would like to tip
For the photos.
[girl laughs]
but we do
work on tips.
not superman.
we work on tips,
We work on tips.
Thank you.
So it's whatever you would like
to tip for the photos.
all right.
how are you doing?
I've taken reports.
I took a report on Batman
for aggressive begging.
Max has one insane temper,
like, insane.
Yes, we work on tips.
He will choke a woman
if she doesn't tip him.
I have do doubt in my mind.
Probably not that far,
but he would choke her husband.
don't you know
that spider-man doesn't smoke?
You need a big red nose
and some green hair
And some big shoes,
Homie's a sissy.
hey, I think we shoot
the little bastard.
What do you think?
Folks, how you doing?
a lot of times, I think
his bark is worse than his bite.
Not that he's not tough
or anything like that,
Because he is.
you want to see us fight?
It's big money.
You want a picture,
it's just a little money.
Is that the only thing
you can think of is a brawl?
How about me and you?
I think that because he's always
had to fight for everything--
I mean,
even just to be recognized
In his own family sometimes--
That I think he likes
to put across
That he's bigger and badder
than what maybe he really is,
'cause to me,
I think he's got
a heart of a lamb.
I mean, you know,
it's like the lion and the lamb.
You can--when he's angry,
he's a lion.
When he's home and with me,
he's the lamb.
Hi, how you doing?
Welcome to Hades,
That's right.
you're making us
chase you.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Would you like a pic--
We work on tips
for the photos, okay?
Yeah, we're just gonna go
strip down the leather
And jump in
the shower.
And I can't believe
he's talked me into this,
But it's so hot out here.
But she's gonna love me
forever for this,
Because she's not gonna
be sweating like--
If it turns
into being a good trick,
I'll be very grateful.
[water running]
Oh, that's cold.
Is that too cold?
No, it's okay.
Oh, Jesus, okay.
Now just step into it.
My hair's not getting wet,
is it?
You could also
take it up
To your shoulder
if you want.
I would rather not
'cause then that takes
more chances
Of getting my hair wet.
Feels good,
doesn't it?
Yeah, it does.
Okay, done.
It's feeling
100 times better.
I hate to say it.
She hates to say it,
but I was right.
What's happening
with you?
Oh, man,
I just blacked out.
I just blacked out.
You blacked out?
You blacked out?
At Shelly's restaurant.
Are you okay?
At Shellys?
Oh, wow.
Ooh, that's not good.
Not good.
beautiful Crystal Gayle.
Well, I'm dating her hair
as long as Crystal Gayles--
The reason my hair
is as long as it is
Is because he's got a thing
for Crystal Gayle.
Here you go.
So I haven't cut my hair
since I hooked up with him.
Not not only that,
look at the style.
Here, Bonnie, why don't you
hold this one up to you?
That's what
I'm trying to emulate
Is the Crystal Gayle hair.
[repetitive clicking]
October 10th of 2004,
I'm sitting at home.
Jeffery Maxwell "Batman" Allen
calls me
In tears.
"Christopher reeve
just passed away."
Chills ran up my spine
right there.
"there's no way
he could be dead.
"he's superman,
"the man of steel himself.
"he--there's no way.
He can't be dead."
And I'm sure there's people
out there that don't realize
That Christopher reeve
had passed on.
Chris and I hadn't been
to the superman celebration
At metropolis
for four years.
In October of last year,
as you know,
Christopher reeve
passed away.
And I guess it motivated us
in a certain way
That we felt
that it was right to go
For the next celebration
in honor of Christopher reeve.
This year, no matter what,
we're going.
You said 600 of each, right?
All ready.
Oh, my goodness.
Want to take a look,
check it out?
Of course.
Isn't it nice?
This one,
my hands were dirty.
Oh, that's okay;
oh, my God.
See, my hands
are a little dirty
Look at how beautiful.
Isn't it nice?
And then there's another one
in the middle.
Look at that close-up.
Isn't it nice?
It is absolutely
You love it, huh?
Look at my guy.
I'm so proud of him.
Oh, my goodness.
He's what you call
a looker.
this is for
an American idol DVD board game.
And you're working
at the checkout stand,
And you're actually
scanning the items.
Scanning items,
And you look up,
and the camera is a customer,
And you're kind of--
You're really obsessed
with American idol.
So the customer
is looking at you
Like you're a little strange.
But let us slate you first.
Jennifer Gehrt.
and profiles,
Back to us.
And action.
Hamburgers, oh,
Fantasia loves hamburgers.
Mac and cheese!
That's Clay's favorite.
Taylor hicks' favorite,
oh, my God.
He loves nutty buddies.
Try it where
you're just telling yourself,
But you're saying it out loud.
Yeah, it's almost got to be
like a whisper.
fantasia loves hamburgers.
You know how sometimes
when people are--
You're almost having this
conversation with yourself...
not really
with the person there?
It's almost like
you're a little nuts.
(male announcer)
Mr. Incredible and Elmo busted
on the streets of Hollywood,
Their heads on the trunk
of this police car,
The rest of their bodies cuffed.
Their crime?
Strong-arming tourists
To take pictures of them
for money.
Police say they warned
about 70 regulars
Who pose
along Hollywood boulevard
That they'd be cracking down
on aggressive posers.
We've been keeping a close eye
on the characters
Across the street.
They congregate--
these people,
They dress up
on Hollywood boulevard,
And they--they're superheroes
and cartoon characters.
They take pictures with tourists
for money.
The other day, Elmo
and Mr. Incredible got arrested
For being a little bit
too aggressive, I guess,
In asking for tips.
They really did,
and ever since then,
A lot of the characters there
have been on edge.
Superman, you there?
Elmo and Mr. Incredible:
Guilty or not?
What do you think
about those guys?
Um, I think they're not guilty,
They actually were doing pretty
much what they were supposed to,
But every now and then,
they do go after a tourist,
Even though
you're not supposed to.
We just put out a few officers
who just dressed as a tourist,
And then they walked up and down
And made contact
with the characters
To see if they were gonna
violate any of the rules
That we set forth
the week before.
When Elmo got arrested,
everybody knew.
Okay, we got on
the Jimmy Kimmel show.
We got news press.
We got--
yeah, it was--
Yeah, everybody tried
to make it bomb on us,
But it didn't.
It actually worked with us,
and now we're actually making,
You know,
a lot of money
Because of the fact
that Elmo got arrested.
That's how it was.
I know it's a bummer
to get arrested,
But hey, man, you know,
You just made your money back
ten times.
What are you doing?
You better get ready
to catch the freefall.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna drown.
What a way to go.
we've made appearances
on stuff such as Jimmy Kimmel.
[cheers and applause]
on my whistle,
superheroes, wrestle.
[whistle blows]
and here they go.
there really is no such thing
as bad publicity,
As long as it's publicity.
the winner is Batman.
it's all over.
Wins the first ever
superhero wrestling.
Congratulations to Batman
And congratulations
to all of you
For being a part of history.
I've ended up in newspapers,
Entertainment weekly,
people magazine,
Renaissance magazine,
grupo taca,
You know,
foreign magazines and stuff.
When you're getting
that kind of publicity,
It's not just the public
seeing you.
There's producers,
Hey, I may have the look
that someone's looking for,
And they know right where
to find me:
Hollywood boulevard.
hi, Jen,
how are you?
Hey, how you doing?
Good, nice to see you.
Good to see you.
You're looking good.
You look great.
How you been?
Eh, okay.
So tell me about
your audition the other day.
Okay, like, overall,
it was good enough,
But I know I could have done
a lot better on that scene.
That's interesting
that you say that,
Because, you know,
I called over there.
Oh, did you?
Yeah, they loved you.
They said you held your own
against some very--
Some more experienced actresses
who had done a few more things
And that they thought
you were just a great newcomer.
They were very excited.
They said,
"she's definitely somebody
We want to keep a pulse on,"
Somebody told me
the other day,
And I was so, like,
I think it's a good campaign,
The dove campaign.
I think it's
a great campaign...
The real women.
Search for real beauty,
all that.
But it's like,
someone, like,
Compared me to, like,
one of the really big girls
On there.
And I hope they said,
"you know, this is the stuff
that you could be doing.
You should go out
for this."
I'm like--
Well, it's because
you're voluptuous,
You know, because you have
a big bosom.
You know,
people see you more as,
You know,
a sexy, curvy woman.
I see you that way.
I think that, you know,
I wouldn't take
that personally.
Well, I guess it's just
the childhood issues with it.
I'm very touchy with it.
You should let that go.
I should let it go.
This isn't supposed
to be therapy.
Jenny, you can't just--
Chris, tell me you're not
gonna do a word puzzle.
We are at bethel missionary
Baptist church.
It's the only
southern Baptist church
That I found in California,
So it's my home.
[gospel music playing]
% in my father's house, %
% in my father's house, %
% in my father's house. %
% love and happiness-- %
True love is sacrifice.
Give it up,
that which is Precious to you,
To give, to--
% come and go with me %
% to my father's house. %
% there is peace,
peace, peace. %
I'm waking up, you know,
just handling some business,
But what's the word?
Yeah, I'm S.A.G.
Cool, yeah,
I love Justin's work, man.
Justin Lin is a really good guy.
Man, he deserves it.
Okay, Josh, hey,
I appreciate it, man,
And I'll see you on the set.
All right now.
You too,
I just got booked
on a kung fu spoof movie
Based on Bruce Lee's last movie
the game of death.
But this is called
the game is not ending yet.
You know, so this is, you know,
they got me a part
Being the sidekick
to the bad guy in this movie.
I'm happy.
Things is happening,
so yeah.
True acting,
that's what I want.
You know, that's it.
That's why I'm here,
you know.
Things is happening.
Things is happening.
This weekend, we are going
to the superman celebration.
They're supposed to be doing
a special send-off
For the man of steel himself,
Christopher reeve.
Margot kidder will be there
doing a signing.
Then there's a costume contest
for the adults.
(man #1)
are you gonna be
in the contest?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
It's $20 to get
into the contest,
To enroll for it.
And then if we do win,
it'll be a thousand bucks.
(man #2)
what do you think
your chances are?
I think that me looking
like Christopher reeve
At this particular event,
Being the fact
that they're doing a send-off
To Christopher reeve,
It may boost our chances a bit,
Because a lot of people
are gonna be thinking
Christopher reeve
at this celebration.
So I think the chances
are really good.
So, Bonnie, the only thing
that we need now
Is this lunchbox
to go in something.
Okay, this is--
I don't think this
is gonna fit in here.
Sure, it will.
You may have to carry
your lunchbox
Like you're going
to elementary school
And this is your lunch.
My name's Billy McDaniel,
Mayor of the city of metropolis,
Long-time resident
of metropolis,
Lived here all my life.
Carol, this is Billy McDaniel.
How are you?
Metropolis is pretty well-known
as the home of superman.
Probably there's no place
that I go in the run of a year
That if you're asked,
"where you from,"
And you say,
"Metropolis, Illinois,"
They'll have something
to say about superman.
lot of drugs,
stuff like that around here,
Criminal activity.
Whole bunch;
it's a dangerous little town.
It really is.
A lot of black people's
moved in here.
Used to be none,
But a lot of black people's
moved in now.
why is everyone so obsessed
with superman here?
Man, you tell me.
I've been here all my life,
and I don't know.
My comic books said new York.
I don't know why they put
Illinois in metropolis.
[triumphant music playing]
[woman on microphone]
we do have a special treat
for everybody.
We have invited
our high school band,
And they have got
a special song
Picked out to play for us.
you guys are gonna be around
for the costume contest, right?
So what you guys do is,
You vote for
your favorite superman, okay?
Or superhero.
Give me a hug.
Wow, superman.
My hero.
Why, thank you.
You're my hero.
You're my hero too.
Thank you.
which part of Montana?
(woman #2)
Livingston, do you
know where that is?
It's near Bozeman.
I've never seen those.
They look terrific.
No one's got these ones.
Jesse, j-e-s-s-e.
you're welcome.
are you excited?
I am ecstatic.
I can't wait.
I'll come back here
so we can still do the picture.
There you go.
can I put
my arm around you?
Oh, yes.
what are you gonna say to her?
What am I gonna say
to her?
I'm not quite sure yet.
We'll have to see.
It's probably gonna be
a surprise.
I usually get all tied up--
Tongue-tied when I get up
to the celebrities,
You know, especially
when it's somebody like Margot
Or if it was Christopher reeve.
I turn into that little kid
that doesn't know what to say.
But if I wasn't taken,
I would ask her to marry me.
Yeah, I'm gonna let you guys
go first,
'cause you guys have
a small amount.
Hi, Chris'.
How are you, dear?
Good morning,
I'm doing wonderful.
Thanks, good to meet you.
Take care.
I know Christopher,
and he's very sweet.
I really don't think
we, as people,
Get to judge each other
that way, you know.
I think sometimes
some of the guys in the outfits
Should go to the gym.
That's my only comment.
we already did.
We're gonna have to
do it at the--
okay, no problem.
yeah, and Christopher,
I'll buy you a drink.
okay, no problem.
I'll even buy you
a snack, all right?
I love you.
Okay, I'll see you
in the Severy, Margie.
No, there are a lot of awful
things you can take too far,
And superman's terrific.
So hey, if you want to wear
that outfit 24 hours a day,
Go for it.
It's a lot more appealing
than a lot of other things
I can think of.
how can I help you today?
Yeah, I just wanted to rent
some guns out for the range.
Do you know
what kind?
I like the beretta, actually.
A beretta?
All right.
Is there a better one?
Some of the stuff
that Batman says you got to--
It's hard to believe,
because like I said,
I really don't know
his dark past,
But when you hear him
talk about the stuff,
It's almost like,
"wow, dude, you've been watching
too many movies."
Right here we have
a 9-millimeter beretta.
All right, right here we have
the magazine release...
All right.
Always by your thumb.
Press it,
and out pops the magazine.
All right,
when you load it,
You always load it
from the back in, all right?
All right.
Tip always facing the direction
that the muzzle's going,
Because that's the way
the bullet's gonna come out.
There's only two ways
you can get out of it:
If you die or if pretty much
everybody else does.
And so that's--
Yeah, that's pretty much
how I got out of it,
'cause everyone else died,
And I was the only man
left standing.
I know he talks a lot about it
with his friends
More so than he does with me.
And I would have to say
I would believe about 50%
of what he says is true.
Until I see these people or,
you know, see this dark past,
Man, it's hard to believe,
you know.
I still re--
you know, still ask God
For forgiveness
for some of the things
That I've done in my life,
let's just say
I was married to a girl,
Very, very beautiful,
loving girl,
Didn't even want part of the--
of what was going on.
You know,
she was just the daughter.
So anyway,
and, uh, yeah.
She was killed in an accident
that I was supposed to be in.
And of course,
once I found out who did it--
Yeah, so...
"yeah," what?
Once you found--
I went--I went raged out
and more or less went after him
And left more than a body count
than I can count, I guess.
Is he permanently
injured now,
Or is he dead or--
No, no.
They're deceased.
From this incident?
From this incident.
Was it something
you were prosecuted for?
No, no, unfortunately,
They couldn't prove
So is this
a confession?
I don't know what--
Like I said, I mean,
there's--you can't--
No, there's no Trace
of anything.
That's the whole thing.
It's gone.
It's over.
It's been 22 years.
you couldn't Trace anything.
It's been very well--
See, back in the '80s,
You could cover things
a lot very easily.
Now, today time,
it's very hard.
But, yeah, you can't--
There's no statute
of limitations on murder.
You know, sometimes when you
have memories from your past,
You can elaborate on them
And make them sound
more than what they really are.
You may do it
to make your somewhat--
He may do it to make himself
sound bigger or badder
Or just, you know,
"don't mess with me"
type of thing.
now, you guys
are gonna be around
For the costume contest,
Okay, well, remember to vote
on your favorite superman.
We're going by numbers,
all right?
Well, my outfit
is actually based
On the actual Christopher reeve
outfit from the movie, so...
[theme from superman playing]
We'll see.
I think that I've got
a really great Chance.
[cheers and applause]
sounds like they're calling us.
But anyhow, yeah,
I think my chances are great.
[man over microphone]
well, without further ado,
Let's get this show
on the road.
[cheers and applause]
Come on, 16.
[man over microphone]
okay, without further ado,
We are going to announce
our winners.
In third place, number eight,
Cindy Brucheski.
Okay, second place,
number 19, Scott Romine.
All right,
first place,
The winner of the superhero
costume contest,
$1,000 goes to
contestant number nine.
[screams and applause]
Why don't you step up
on stage here if you can?
I want to thank everybody
who voted for me.
I appreciate it.
All right,
Again, great job,
everyone that participated,
Everyone that made
the long trips from California,
New jersey,
South Carolina.
Great job.
Thanks, everybody,
for coming out.
[cheers and applause]
[male announcer]
you're watching eyewitness news
in high definition.
Batman behind bars.
It's been a bad day
for the caped crusader
Who's become the latest
Hollywood street performer
To end up in LAPD Custody,
And this one,
like many of the others,
Was caught on tape.
The LAPD told me that Batman
was arrested and charged
With disorderly conduct.
They also say
he kicked out a window
In one of the patrol cars
And is spending
a little extra time in jail.
Robin, the boy wonder,
wasn't around today
To spring his partner
from the clutches
Of Batman's nemesis,
the LAPD
Police say Batman landed himself
in this predicament
When he insisted
on using the porta-potties
Rented by union workers
picketing a local business.
You can see the argument
between union workers
And Batman begins to escalate.
At one point,
Batman removes his cape
And appears to taunt
the union workers.
Then Chewbacca shows up
And also appears
to confront the picketers.
The LAPD Swoop in
and arrest Batman
Who now joins other
notable arrested characters
Like Captain Incredible, Elmo,
and Cookie Monster.
I was gonna make ramen noodles,
The only thing
I know how to cook.
well, now you tell me.
What's there
to do tonight?
I don't know.
What do you want to do?
You could go and--
what's that movie that came out
You want to see?
Well, yeah.
Well, why are you asking me
what you should do
When you don't even care
what I say?
No, I care what you said,
but I, well,
I was trying to figure out
what to do.
Well, I told you what to do.
Look at your hair
on the floor.
Well, why don't you
vacuum it, husband?
You're supposed to
take care of me.
what's going on
with you and your husband?
Can anyone tell
That question
made me uncomfortable?
"what's going on
with you and your husband?"
Okay, so about a month ago--
and I take full blame for this--
I'm very hard to deal with.
I'm very high-maintenance
when it comes to attention.
And he's just not willing
to supply it right now.
He doesn't have time
for that right now.
He's focused on himself
and his career goals,
And yadda-yadda-yadda.
And there's no room
for his little wife right now.
so what now?
I don't know.
I tried to--
I tried to go out and watch
a movie with him yesterday even,
And it wasn't the same.
We don't talk to each other
the same.
We don't look at each other
the same.
It's just cold.
I still love him, always will,
but it's just cold now.
And it's like
there used to be an intensity
When we touched each other,
And now it's just like,
"ppthh, don't touch me,
And I'm annoyed by you."
And I'm just angry all the time,
and I'm not an angry person,
And I don't want to be angry.
I want to be happy.
And he keeps acting like
he can make me happy,
And he used to--
could make me happy.
And now I just--
it's just out of reach,
And I don't even remember
what it's like.
[man over microphone]
we have a Christopher reeve
look-alike from L.A.
Out here today.
Christopher Dennis
is back there,
And he's got a few things
he'd like to say real briefly.
The person running it said,
"we have Christopher Dennis,
"a Christopher reeve look-alike
with us tonight,
And he has something
that he'd like to say."
Bonnie, would you please
do me the honor
And make
my life complete,
And would you marry me?
Yes, I'll marry you.
yeah, perfect.
[man over microphone]
ladies and gentlemen,
The future Mr. And Mrs.
Christopher Dennis.
Thank you.
And I remember seeing
this superman ring,
Which I now have
on my hand,
In his hand.
And I remember him saying,
But after that,
I don't remember
any more exact words.
All I remember is,
he asked me to marry him,
And I said, "yes."
mazel tov.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
[man over microphone]
we need to round
off the numbers.
I am getting change,
so we'll make it 436.
Kind of reminds me a little bit
Of that first moment
that I met Chris,
And I also was at a loss
for words and temporarily
What was going on around me,
Because I was so mesmerized
by Chris.
this is just set security.
I do security full-time
now that Summer's over.
I do, you know,
Monday through Friday.
It's usually anywhere between
12 to 16 hours a day.
And more or less, we just--
we make sure--
We establish, you know,
a security boundary around it,
Watching the equipment,
watching the crew,
Watching the trucks.
I like being on set
on the fact
That maybe a director
will see me and say,
"you know, hey, let's use him,
give him a shot."
So at least I'm here
in the business itself.
A person, you know, who
does have an anger problem,
It just--
it's a snap of something.
Snap of something
inside his mind,
Inside his heart.
Something snaps,
you know what I'm saying?
I need to find out
what makes me snap.
It's only the bad people
that I get mad at.
You know what I'm saying?
Everybody else
has no problem with me.
But then there's some people
that I have walked away with,
'cause I know
they're as dumb as dogs,
And it's like a stupid dog.
You can beat the dog,
But he's still gonna shit
on the floor.
You know what I'm saying?
So to some people, I just--
I let a lot of people walk away,
But there's just some
that I don't.
They need it.
They need to be beaten down
to open their eyes,
And all I'm doing
is volunteering for the job.
Really, some people
need to be beaten down.
They need it.
Okay, really.
And yeah, and so that's all
there is to it.
are you doing the action?
No, I'm just standing there,
acting cool.
I'm playing the part
and the role of Leroy Jackson,
You know what I'm saying?
On the cool set
of finishing the game.
Yeah, '70s--
And I have the gators.
We had the crick crack
kitchen pants on.
We had the pleather leather on.
We had to show our rings,
you know what I'm saying?
Come in the house,
"hey, mom, I don't need
no nothing to eat.
I'm going out--
night on the town to eat, baby."
Willis, where you at?
I knew you were a snake,
Leroy Jackson.
good Lord, you have
7,003 profile views?
I have, like, nine.
That's not
a lot, though.
You are at my apartment
in north Hollywood
That I have with Michelle,
My best friend
and roommate now.
I'm in this new apartment
Because things just started
getting a little too tense
At my other home,
at my home before with Chris.
We just continued to fight
over the small things,
And he refuses to change,
and I refuse to change.
And so it's just like
there's not much of a point
To stay
in the same place anymore.
I never, in a million years,
Thought I would get the courage
to get my things and leave,
And he didn't either.
He came home,
and he looked around,
And he saw my bed was gone,
my clothes were gone,
My shoes were gone,
everything was gone.
He was like,
"you really did this."
It's a happy thing right now,
and it's a brand-new beginning,
And I don't know.
I feel like the world
is more open to me right now,
And I feel like
there is thing--
There's success out there
waiting for me,
And I've got to be open to it,
and now I finally am.
the ratio of it,
of people actually making it big
And the ones that are trying
are so minute.
It really is.
It's almost a Miracle
if you can actually make it.
As long as I'm here, yeah,
I'll never give it up, yeah.
I tell you, I don't care
if I do look like Clooney.
I'm still not giving up
the dream.
even if I just do theater
for the rest of my life
And I never make two dimes,
At least I'm doing
what makes me happy, so...
everybody I've always worked
on camera with
Always has something
good to say, like,
"wow, dude.
Yo, McQueen, man, you're gonna
make it out here, dude."
I like to think that my future
holds fame and fortune.
I'd like to say
That I've got the fame
without the fortune right now.
will you have Chris
to be your husband,
To love, comfort, honor,
and to keep him,
Forsaking all others,
Be faithful to him
as long as you both shall live?
I do.
Chris, you will be faithful
to her
For long as you both
shall live?
I do.
until death do us part.
Until death do us part.
You may kiss
the bride.
---the end---