D.C. Cab (1983) Movie Script
1
Is anybody out there?
Is there anybody out there?
Oh, shit!
He's mine! He's mine! He's mine!
Time out, fool!
I lost my roller.
Oh, shit. Well, come on, y'all! Help me find my roller!
Else my hair ain't gonna come out right.
Suckers! Catch me, motherfuckers!
Is anybody out there?
Is anybody out there?
Watch it, child!
I'm sorry, sir. All of our cabs seem to be busy right now.
D.C.
On the street under pressure
The city ain't just mean
Hey! Hey, D.C. Cab!
D.C. Cab, hey!
They cannot stand against the odds
You can feel the heat
It's make it or break it
Try to survive
Don't ever say never, Keep your dream alive
My cab ain't no motel! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!
You're a pitiful specimen of manhood!
And why ain't you off the street and get a decent job?
- 'Cause I need the bread!
- Then, get a job at the bakery!
D.C.
I wanna be somebody be a contender
Gotta reach for the sky
If you want it, fight for it
Or kiss it good-bye
It's make it or break it, Try to survive
Don't ever say never, Keep your dream alive...
Around the clock...
Hey!
Hey, hey! Can you tell me where I can find D.C. Cab Company?
- Down there?
- Uh-uh-uh.
- Can you take me?
- Uh-uh-uh-uh...
- I'll pay ya!
- Uh-uh!
Hey, mayday! Hey, hey! Mayday!
D.C.
It's make it or break it, Got to try to survive
Don't ever say never, Keep your dream alive
Around the clock we're gonna rock
To the rhythm of the street
Yeah, I'll be back in a second.
Hey, how ya doin'? Look, I gotta be real quick.
I got a very nervous passenger in here.
Yeah, I'll be with ya in a second. Hold yer kazoo.
Okay, that's my thing. Continue on.
I don't know what I'm doin'. I'm wastin' my time. Nobody lives there anyway.
It's a goddamn Amityville Horror in there! It's an evil house that runs the world!
You know, on the news they always say,
"The White House said this. The White House said that." They're not kidding.
The house talks Nobody lives there.
- All right. All right.
- Hey, hey!
- Get outta here!
- Hey! Hey!
D.C.
It's make it or break it, Got to try to survive
Don't ever say never
Hey, get out of here!
Keep your dream alive
On the street under pressure
- Bye, baby. Thanks.
- Any time, Miss...
Taxi! Oh, shoot!
Taxi!
It's make it or break it
Try to survive
Don't ever say never, Keep your dream alive
Thank you.
Around the clock we're gonna rock
Watergate Hotel, please.
- Where to, baby?
- Nowhere with you!
Tough to be a man, baby.
Can't you hear me?
Move! What the hell are you doin'?
What are you two doin'? Get back in the cab!
He looks good up there, doesn't he?
Good mornin', baby!
Come on. Come on.
Come on. Thank you, baby.
Don't ever say never, Keep your dream alive
Around the clock we're gonna rock
To the rhythm of the street down the block
Around the clock, yeah, we're gonna rock
The dreams you hear with the streets that talk
Around the clock, yeah, we're gonna rock
To the rhythm of the street down the block
Around the clock, yeah, we're gonna rock
God.
Don't let your dick run your life.
- Huh?
- You heard me.
I said, Don't let your dick run your life
That's Mr. Rhythm's good advice.
Saved your ass. Only cost you a quarter.
Oh.
Can you, uh... Can you tell me where I can find, uh, Harold Oswell?
Harold Oswell?
If you're a process server, he ain't here.
I'm Albert. Albert Hockenberry.
What, Deke's boy?
This one?
No, this one.
Goldarn! Oh, geez!
You know, Myrna, I'm really getting sick of this.
Every time I go out, I get robbed by the same guy in a ski mask.
Could someone get the phone?
- Say hello to Ophelia.
- Hi.
And this is Miss Floyd, our dispatcher. And this is Baba.
- I quit, Harold.
- And, uh,
this is my wife, Myrna.
- Myrna, you remember Deke Hockenberry from 'Nam?
- Mmm?
This is his little kid, Albert.
He just hitchhiked up here from Locust Grove, Georgia.
- Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Oswell.
- How do you do?
Ow! Hey, hey, baby. Where's my wheels?
- There's women all over D.C. waiting for me!
- Okay, come on.
- Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
- Hey, I'm sorry.
Uhh!
Myrna, you know the only thing wrong with oral sex?
Huh?
The view!
Oh, shit. "The view."
Hey, uh, I sent you a letter sayin' I was comin'. Didn't you get it?
Must've got in with the bills.
Tyrone!
- Where you think you're going?
- I'm goin' to work, babe.
Not before I get my lease money for the last two weeks.
I got it right here, Harold! You know I'm always take care of you.
I always take care of your money. Here.
You know that, man.
- And the 20 you owe me, brother.
- Damn.
- Here!
- And the 10 you owe me for the baseball pool.
Bloodsuckers!
- Where'd you get all this money, Tyrone?
- Where do you think the money!
I've been workin' drivin' this cab all day.
- Uh-oh!
- You. Come here.
Well, well, well, Mr. Bravo, our friendly hack inspector.
What it is! Run it down! What's happenin', fly?
What you buggin' me about now?
A short trip to the airport, which you are not licensed to make anyway...
a trip that should've cost 12 bucks,
and you charged Mr. and Mrs. Tomatsu...
$195?
They had a lot of luggage!
You know, Harold, this company's a disgrace to the hack bureau.
- I ought to close you down right now!
- Yeah, yeah. All right.
- Don't worry about it, Mr. Bravo.
- What is he, crazy?
- I got the money. No harm done.
- Here it is, folks.
- Don't listen to him! No, no.
- I got $195 right here.
You're gonna press charges, aren't you?
No. No, I don't think so.
All right. They're not gonna press changes, but I'm still gonna try and close you, Harold!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh.
And you, I'm gonna have your hack license! What are you, crazy?
Hey, man. We're working hard, doin' the best we can.
And all you wanna do is close us down. Where's a cat like you at?
If you had any education, you'd know that you don't end a sentence with a preposition.
Oh, okay! So, where you at, asshole?
Tyrone!
Calm down!
Vietnam, Vietnam
Vietnam, Vietnam
Vietnam, Vietnam
Vietnam, Yesterday, I got a letter
Go on. Put it on. It's yours.
From my friend fighting in Vietnam
And this is what he had to say
Tell all my friends
That I'll be coming home soon
Did you leave me a beer?
Sure, honey. I mean, there-there's several in the... in the... fridge.
Uh...
I'm sorry I didn't make it to your dad's funeral.
Hey, funerals are bullshit, anyways.
I'll get your bed made.
- Hey! I can't believe I'm here, huh?
- You are.
"Don't be like me," my old man used to say.
"Be like Harold. Be your own boss."
He said you were the only guy who came home...
and made his big dreams come true.
Well, not all of my dreams came true.
Hey, you're gonna be real comfortable here.
It... It... It's better than it looks. I-I've slept here myself.
A lot.
And if you get cold,
I got a, uh,
another little war souvenir.
So, if you want to start yourself a cozy little fire...
John's upstairs to your left.
Hey, I... I got a few bucks put away. I don't want to be in the way here.
As long as you're in D.C., you're stayin' here with Myrna and me.
I-I'm not just visitin'.
I'm here to break into the business.
- What business?
- Cab business.
One, two, cha-cha-cha, Three, four, cha-cha-cha
Well, Albert, it's tough to be a cabdriver, baby.
- That's why I became a gigolo, baby.
- Gigolo?
Yeah, you know, "Richard Hutton," "Lauren Gere."
You know, "roll me in designer sheets..." the American Gigolo.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah! See, I use my cab...
to meet rich women... congressmen's wives, senator's wives.
- Hey, I find the right one, and she keeps me in style.
- Yeah?
And then I give up drivin'. Because it's tough to be a man, baby.
And, it's tougher to be a cabdriver.
It's not easy being a passenger, either!
You see any cops?
Oh, if there were any, we lost 'em.
- Thanks.
- You got it, man.
- You've got a lovely figure, ma'am.
- Thank you very much.
Albert, did you know that D.C. is 75% nig,
black, colored, whatever you're callin' 'em?
And you made a good move gettin' in now, just like me.
'Cause, like in the army...
Like nobody ever goes in the army anymore, except blacks.
Someday one nigger's gonna wake up and say,
"We got the guns and the mustard gas and the tanks. We could run the army!"
And they're gonna take over the whole country, and we'll be in with them already.
We'll be token whites. Think about it.
Venus Club, and I'm late.
- Ma'am, what?
- Venus Club, and I'm late.
Listen, boys.
I've got to work topless in five minutes,
and I've got to get out of this bra, so it doesn't make any marks on my body.
So this ain't no show for your boys.
Yes, ma'am.
Ma'am, you're with two fine Southern gentlemen.
Here we are.
Hey, where my fare?
Call the cops, wise ass.
Your first stiff, Albert. Happens all the damn time.
Go get the money she owes us.
Go!
I know!
- Oh, excuse me.
- What are you doing here?
Steve, this guy is trying to cop of feel.
One more time around the block
Low-life.
I feel ya
I'm gonna feel ya
Touchin' me once more
Yeah, yeah, One more time around the block
I'm gonna feel ya
I'm gonna steal ya
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
He's got my money! He's got my money!
Get your hands off of me!
Hey, your car's goin' backwards, stupid!
Hey, Albert. When we leave to open our gym,
don't let Harold stick you with this piece of shit!
- Hey, you're goin' backwards!
- Hey, I know, all right!
My cab's broken! It'll only go in reverse!
I'm bringin' it to the shop!
- Take it easy, huh?
- Asshole!
- We should just leave the cab, guys.
- Take it easy, Albert.
- We've never been in a car accident ever.
- Never.
Yeah, but, uh, our brother-in-law, Ralphie, he was in one.
- Listen to this.
- Listen to this.
- He's drivin' with his boss next to him...
- Uh-huh.
and out from nowhere this truck smashes into him doin' 70 miles an hour.
Raphie looks over at his boss and what does he see?
He sees that his body was cut in half.
His upper half of his body was, like, impaled onto the upholstery.
And the other half of his body was, like, lyin' on the floor...
with the blood and the guts hangin' out of it.
- But the half of him on the seat is still fuckin' alive!
- He was still conscious.
His heart's hangin' out of him, drainin' blood.
He looks down at himself and he looks over to Ralphie, and he says...
"Oh, my God! I'm dead!"
Albert, you got to know your districts.
This is the worst, right here. Just look at this.
I was workin' beyond, I cannot be outdone
I'm a winner
Now, listen up!
How many times I got to tell you kids to stay away from this drug-dealin' pimp?
And you, slime, if it's the last thing I do, I'm gonna get these kids away from you!
- Hey, no you're not! Get on outta here!
- Uncle Samson!
Oh, good to see ya! Good to see ya!
Albert, I want you to meet my niece, Jolene.
- Oh, hi. Hi.
- Jolene, this is Albert.
I'm teachin' him to be a cabdriver. Let's take you to school.
Yeah!
Baby, you got to be a world champion
I cannot be outdone, I'm a winner
I stay on the winnin' team with the glitter and the gleam
No beginner
It's the car, Albert. I can't keep 'em away from the car.
Always wanted to do something for the kids in the neighborhood.
But I wound up in this cab,
stuck like a turtle in his shell.
Bein' a cabby don't mean nothin' in this world.
So, Albert find somethin' to do with yourself.
Don't become a turtle like me.
Okay. Well, if you want to drive a cab, you're gonna have to pass the test.
And, if you're gonna pass the test, you're gonna have to know the zones.
So, which zone is the... Treasury Building in?
- Ticktock, ticktock.
- 1-C.
- 2-D?
- Ticktock, ticktock.
- Ticktock, ticktock.
- 1-C.
- Wrong! Arrgh!
- 2-D.
All right. Which, uh...
Whi... Hey. Hey, how was the movie?
Albert, my mother did not raise me to be a maid!
How many times do I have to tell you to pick up your socks?
Sorry, Myrna.
Come on. Let's go. Which zone is the...
- the Watergate Hotel in?
- 3-A.
- Ticktock, tocktick.
- No one left me a beer!
Harold, you know that I can't sleep unless I have a beer...
while I'm watching Johnny Carson.
- I'm, uh, sorry, Myrna.
- No, you're not.
If you were sorry you wouldn't have done it to begin with.
- I'll go get us a six-pack.
- No, I don't want a beer now.
- I'm gonna get you a beer, Myrna.
- I'll get the beer.
No, I will get the beer! I will get in the car and go over to Open All Night,
where Rayette St. Clair almost got mugged and murdered the other night.
Hey-hey-hey. You're getting ridiculous about a beer.
I work seven days a week...
For no money, I put up with a pack of savages,
and all I ask for is a beer so I can watch Johnny!
I'm gonna get you a beer!
If the Clydesdale horses driven by Ed McMahon...
were to march down Pennsylvania Avenue to bring me the entire brewery,
I wouldn't drink a beer now!
- I'll be right back.
- Oh, hey. I'll go with you.
My life ain't all your daddy cracked it up to be, is it?
Hey. It's tough to be a man, baby!
Dell! Dell, Dell, Dell.
I passed my test. When will... When will I get my license?
After you go through the F.B.I. and the C.I.A. then you're okay.
Then, you got to wear a fish costume and blow the mayor.
Hey, Bongo. Bongo. Can I ride with you today?
- Why?
- I don't know.
I want you to tell me about Jamaica and Kingston and you know.
Jamaica? How would I know? I'm from Cleveland.
Ohh
Well, good mornin', honey. Come on! Come on!
Come on! We're gonna have to stop meetin' like this.
Hey... Hey, Harold!
- Yeah?
- Passed!
- Hey, good goin', Albert.
- That's it, Harold, I quit!
That's the third time I've been ripped off by the same punk, and I'm not havin' it no more.
You can't quit on me, Ophelia. Listen, honey. you're the only good driver I got.
- Watch me!
- Now, wait.
I don't work for you, no way. I work for some punk in a ski mask.
I'm going over to Emerald and drive for them.
You're not... Hey! You're not gonna be happy at Emerald and you know it.
I don't deserve to be this happy.
I'm going to Emerald, where nobody gets robbed 'cause they know how to pay off the cops.
All right. But listen to me, will ya? I got... Oh, no. Wait. Now, wait now. Come on.
Now, you got to listen to me. Listen, you can't leave now, okay? I've got an idea.
I got somethin' I think is gonna make this company start to work.
- You can't leave now.
- Listen, Harold. I like you, all right?
And I tried to stick it out here. But you ain't got no company.
- No, that's what I...
- You have an asylum, all right?
I mean, you got this animal magnetism. You attract animals.
Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here.
Come here. Let's you and me go have a beer.
I don't want to go have a beer, 'cause you ain't gonna do nothin'...
- but try to talk me out of leavin' again.
- No, no. I won't do that.
Let's just go have a beer.
- Okay.
- Okay? Put your stuff here, okay?
- You put it there.
- All right.
I'll be back in an hour.
Dell? Dell! You okay?
Never better! Just doin' some intestinal yoga!
- You do drugs, Dell?
- I don't remember!
Dell! Hey, Dell, darlin' baby.
- Hey, you been missin' me?
- Oh, you know I have!
You see this face? It's leavin' town in five minutes. Be on it!
Hello, sweetheart!
Hello, sweetheart.
- Hey, Dell! This looks like a great place to pick up fares!
- Might get lucky.
Come here, Albert. Look.
Look at those fine-lookin females. Hot to trot!
- Those guys are faggots!
- Yeah, but women love that shit!
- That's the show, girls!
- There they come, damn it!
Come on, ladies!
All right! You, you, you... We're about to party!
- Hey, Dell!
- Yeah.
- Can I go with you?
- Not tonight.
Carpooling, what a beautiful idea!
Get in, sweetheart. Don't you worry about the fare. We'll work out something!
- Xavier! Xavier! You got room for me, huh?
- Not today, baby!
- You're on your own!
- Buzzy!
- Buzzy. Bu-Buzzy. Got room?
- No room!
Hey, ladies! So where we goin'?
Your place or mine!
Wow! Wild Time!
- Hey, you got a good word, Mr. Rhythm?
- Hey, Mr. Rhythm say,
"If you can go through the night till dawn without committin' suicide,
then you okay!"
Uh, I don't think I'll pay you for that one, Mr. Rhythm.
Huh.
- You're a real fine musician, Baba.
- Yeah?
Well, I guess my fame and fortune attest to that.
But, I'm not complaining.
Music... is still the best way I know to fight off...
a little thing I like to call the "Big Fear."
Death. Death.
No, not death.
Death, believe me, is a little fear.
The Big Fear... the real fear...
is that hard times might squeeze you so bad,
you'll be drivin' every day of the week.
It's the fear that the music you're writing or...
your brilliant first novel that's, like, a draft away...
from being a best-seller or...
your plans for law school... have to wait.
You see, Albert, after all that it takes...
the hopes and dreams and...
the whole bag of tricks that you need...
just to walk around on the planet...
Well, the Big Fear, Albert,
is that you're becoming a cabdriver.
I'm lost in this crowd
Heads up! Heads up! Myrna. Myrna.
Okay, which one was yours?
Myrna, when you gonna quit holdin' out on me?
You know I can suck the white right off your teeth.
- Oh, please, I have a headache.
- You have a headache, really?
Heal! Heal this woman!
- Dell!
- Heal this woman!
That's enough!
Can I ride with you today, Tyrone?
Can you ride with me? What, is you drunk?
Ride with me?
Single heart, Single heart
Looking for another
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh
Single heart, Single heart
Looking for another
Single heart, Single heart
Looking for another
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh...
And take your eyes off my granddaughter, cabby!
Well, well, well. If it ain't Deceased Cab.
And the war hero here.
Fighting soldiers from the sky
When are you gonna come to work for number one?
Ophelia? Then, you'll be around real men, honey.
Hey, we want anymore shit outta you, we'll squeeze your head!
- Hey, come here, fuckface!
- Don't you go talkin' trash in my place!
- Yeah, trash!
- Huh?
Marty, Marty, Marty, Hearty.
Got a pail of oats for the last of the Mohicans here.
Mr. Ernesto.
I love this man and not because he's the hack inspector,
but because he is a marvelous human being.
Oh, hey. Did you get that, uh, case of wine I sent over for you?
- Marty, anything he wants, put it on our tab.
- No. No, thank you.
I don't have any time for breakfast. Uh, listen up, cabbies!
Did any of you...
have this passenger in your cab?
That's too bad, because he left a very precious violin...
worth $1/2 million in a cab!
Did you find it! Did you find it!
Jolene!
Get out! Jolene! Get out of here!
Get out! I'll kill you, punk, if I ever see you with my niece again!
And that goes for your boys too!
Go ahead! Go ahead!
- Girl, did he touch you? Did he put his hands on you?
- Uh-uh.
I didn't nothin' bad. I swear, Uncle Samson.
I just wanted to ride in his pretty car!
I swear I didn't do nothin' bad, Uncle Samson!
I didn't do nothin' bad.
It's the car, Harold. It's that car!
No violin! No money! No Mercedes!
Aw, shit!
- What do you want?
- I am ridin' with you today, Tyrone!
Oh, now, let me get this straight.
You're like this honky dude from the deep South...
who digs workin' with the brothers, right?
No, Tyrone. I'm from the new South, where we're all brothers.
Ah! That's cool.
A little funky for you here in the new South, brother?
No, it's fine.
My man!
Soul-brother number one.
There's the British Embassy, Albert, and the Brazilian.
And up ahead is the embassy where we work.
Tyrone drives us to work every day.
So, Denise, when you goin' out with me?
- Why should I go out with you?
- 'Cause I'm black and I'm beautiful!
Well, so is Lola Falana,
but you don't see me goin' out with her.
- All right!
- Oh, yeah!
Okay, now, here we are! Get out fast!
- Quick! Get out before they see me!
- Who?
There they are! My babies!
- Ohh!
- It's too late!
- I couldn't wait to see my babies this mornin'.
- Hi, Matty!
- Ohh! Are you all right?
- Now, how many times...
have I told you not to throw eggs at Tyrone?
Be cool. We ain't supposed to be here without an airport license.
- What are we doin' here?
- You're hangin' with a thief.
Yo, brah! Yo, brah! What's up? What's up?
Yo, man. You need a cab or do you travel O.J. Simpson?
- Yeah, we need a cab.
- Well, all right.
Albert, get out. Open the trunk for these fine people, man.
So, where y'all goin'? What it look like?
Oh, shit! Get back in, Albert! Get back in!
Let me see your license!
They won't follow. They don't want to lose their place on line.
Ah! Fuck you!
Oh, sucker, 12:00 and high!
Take me to the National Airport.
That's the other airport way across town. Cost you 50 bucks!
Should've asked him for a hundred, huh?
- Hey, he passed out cold.
- Huh?
National Airport! Fifty bucks!
- Hey, you can't take...
- Watch me. Watch me.
- I'm teachin' you how to get over in the city!
- Here.
That's right. Have a nice day, sir. Have a good day.
Take care of yourself. Get home safe.
What you talkin' about?
This is 50 bucks less he'll spend on booze!
I just gave his liver a break. Look at that, man!
- Fifty dollars!
- Yeah, well, I won't let you be a thief.
Yo, what's wrong... Oh, man!
- Jesus, Tyrone!
- Ain't I just a bad dumbass nigger?
Yeah! And why don't for once take those goddamn rollers out of your hair?
You got it.
Yeah. Yeah.
All this time you think I'm just a crazy dumbass nigger...
with green rollers in his hair, huh?
Well, that's good!
'Cause that's just what I want everybody to think.
Get out of my cab, fool. Get out of my cab.
You just like all those fools in college.
Yeah, another surprise! I got myself into college.
Was gonna get me a Mercedes.
But I got hip to the scam, man!
I showed 'em.
Dropped out. Told them what they can do with their college.
And now, this system's got one more...
crazy, dumbass nigger just like it deserves.
- Hey, Tyrone, just stop it!
- Just stay out of my way, Albert...
white-bread, chickenshit Hockenberry.
Stay out of my way!
Hey. Hey!
Hey, come on!
I bet you're gonna tell Harold all about the drunk...
and how I left you out here, ain't you?
Not if you let me ride with you tonight, Tyrone.
Shit!
I hope you're satisfied, Hockenberry!
- I'm missin' out on the game tonight because of you!
- Hey, well, I like games.
This game is only for psychic blood-brothers of D.C. Cab!
Yeah, well, how, uh... how do I become one?
Go out there and dig up three bodies.
I'm only shittin' ya, white bread.
There's only three ways known to man to become a psychic blood-brother.
- One, you got to get a hack license.
- Well, I'm gettin' mine.
- Two, you got to get a mask!
- Oh, that's easy.
And three,
you got to make The Run!
"The Run"?
The Run.
- Whoa! Okay!
- Come on. Get in!
Dig this, white bread. This is The Run!
Now, we gonna stay on these tracks all night until we make a man out'cha.
Yo, dig this, man. Dell has the record for the longest run...
- seven miles... all the way to Green Street!
- Seven miles. No shit?
Yeah, man. But we gonna beat it tonight, brother, me and you.
Listen to my baby! Ah, yeah!
I've been chasin' dreams
For so long
Just one step behind
And then there goes
Illusions of love
Like that music, man?
- Yeah.
- Know who that is? That's Irene Cara, man!
Look at this woman. Ain't she fine? Look at her, man.
What's happenin', baby? What it look like?
Ain't she fine? Check it out, man! When you gonna let me bust it out?
Everybody knows
Uh, I got one question, Tyrone.
- How do you know when the train's comin'?
- You don't!
You just got to deal with it, man!
- I see. I see. This is The Run!
- This is it! This is it!
- You lookin' at it!
- Oh, I see how it works now.
I love it. Let's get off.
Goddamn, man! Jesus!
You gonna be chickenshit all your life, Albert?
And don't think I feel sorry for you 'cause your daddy died!
My daddy came back from the Korean War with his brain so scrambled...
he thought he was Jesus!
They put him in a nuthouse for five years. When he came out,
he didn't think he was Jesus no more.
He thought he was God!
Which made me Jesus.
- His shit got pretty heavy!
- Hey, hey, Tyrone!
Oh, shit!
Tyrone! Get us the hell outta here, will you?
Go forward! Go back!
Not backwards! Go forward! Get us outta here!
If I get killed, I'm gonna kick your ass! Jump!
- Jump!
- My hand's caught!
I'm caught! I'm caught, Tyrone!
- I'm gonna die!
- Aw, shit!
Oh, shit! It's too late!
I don't wanna die!
I don't wanna die!
I don't wanna die! Whoo, I don't wanna die!
I knew it was on the other tracks all the time! Just testin' your ass!
Hey, Tyrone. Hey, you were willin' to save my life.
I won't forget it.
You're okay for a white bread. But you still can't be no psychic blood-brother.
You're still too chickenshit. And what you doin' to those boots?
My daddy's boots. He left 'em to me.
Uh, they're a couple of sizes too big.
They slip off if I don't stuff some paper in 'em.
Okay, now, you take us in, but don't be sneakin' no looks at my picture of Irene.
I don't want to have to hurt nobody.
Hey, Baba! You seen Albert or Tyrone?
Yeah, they eloped and moved to Jersey.
- Where's Albert and Tyrone?
- They went to Mass.
Harold, was that a violin?
Holy shit! The violin!
- Good mornin'.
- Just give him the money, Albert.
Yeah. Just give me the money, Albert.
- Stop it or you're dead!
- Albert! Albert!
Albert! Jesus, man!
Albert! See, Tyrone! I ain't no chickenshit!
Be chickenshit, Albert! Now's the time!
All right! Just everybody hold it!
Mr. Rhythm, do you know which cab you found it in?
Of course, I do. It was the yellow one.
I'm gonna shoot you, man! I will!
Yeah, at this speed, you'll die too!
Miss Floyd, I'm comin' in with a gun to my head!
A gun? Shut up about that violin!
Albert's coming in with a gun to his head!
Let's go!
Oh, shit. I'm goin' to nigger heaven. I don't wanna go to nigger heaven.
Damn you! Stop this thing or I'm gonna blow your brains out!
Yeah? Then you got to deal with my friends.
- Give him the gun.
- I don't want the gun!
No, I don't want the gun! I don't want the gun!
All right, motherfucker!
Now, you gonna give back to the United Negro College Fund!
Tyrone, you got him! You got him!
No, wait a minute! Don't shoot him! Don't shoot him!
No! It's him! It's him!
Yo! Hey, it's him!
Hey, get him! What the hell's the matter with you?
Good morning.
And good night.
- Okay, okay, Ophelia.
- And where's my money?
- Okay! Okay!
- Let me hit him. Let me hit him...
Hey, Tyrone. I thought I lost you, brother.
Sure. Two white guys up in front. Nigger in the back with a gun.
- What do you expect?
- Are you okay, Tyrone?
- Now, I am!
- Oh!
Listen. Let me tell you somethin'.
You're lucky those pork chops didn't shoot ya and say you was crazed on P.C.P.
'Cause that's what they always say about everybody they shoot.
And I think they're lacin' the bullets with P.C.P.
That way, they got an alibi for killin' everybody. Now, think about it.
Excuse me. Where's the violin?
- I got a guitar.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Where is it?
- Well, uh, we want to know about our reward.
Yeah. What about the reward?
Whatever the reward is, it's gonna go to Harold,
'cause he's the one who owns whatever cab it was found in, all right?
- All right! Hold it!
- I want my money, man!
All right, hold it! I've made a decision.
Okay, if there is a reward, Myrna and I are gonna share it with everybody.
- Harold!
- Okay.
- All right.
All right. Now, listen! And we can all take our money...
- and go crazy.
- Ahhh!
- Harold!
- I might go crazy too.
But if we do that, we come back, there isn't gonna be a cab company.
'Cause the bank's gonna shut us down, if Bravo doesn't do it first.
So, I'm gonna ask somethin' of you,
that you make an investment in D.C. Cab.
You just want us to give the money back to you?
- But the money's not the main issue, Dell.
- Well, maybe not to you.
Harold, let me ask you something. Are you saying that...
- we'd be like... like partners?
- Yeah.
No! Never!
Come on! Hear me out! Hold it!
Hold it! Hear me out! Listen, guys!
This morning, we went out in the street together...
as a team!
If we could pool our forces,
we... we could pay off the loan.
We could paint the cabs.
Hey, man! We could get airport licenses!
- Yeah, we might be able to make some payoffs like Emerald does.
- I heard that.
- We could get our own jackets.
- Oh, jackets!
I don't want no jacket. The thing is that...
we would share in the profits, and we'd share in the responsibilities.
If I wanted responsibility, I would've a damn sex surrogate!
Yeah! Dig it, man!
Mister. Now, someday, a handsome young man who is not a cabby...
is gonna walk through that door...
carryin' flowers and chocolates and some other gifts.
And he is gonna present himself and ask permission...
to take Claudette out on a respectable date.
Now, until that time,
I want you to think of this place as a convent...
and her as a nun!
Get it? N-O-N-E!
Get out! All right! I want everybody to get out!
Get out! Get out!
I want my goddamn money! Fuck you!
I want my goddamn money!
Hey, it'll be all right, okay?
Uh, I think they're comin' around.
What about you?
You gonna be a part of the new D.C. Cab?
Well, I didn't think my vote counted.
Well, it does now.
My hack license?
Whoo!
Hey, baby! Congratulations!
Welcome to the wonderful world of minimum wages!
Thanks.
- Where to, ma'am?
- Just drive.
You know, you're my first fare.
Just sightseeing?
- Look, lady. Uh...
- Hi, Albert!
Claudette!
Attention, all units. Harold has something to tell you.
Uh, any of you guys who are interested in a $10,000 reward...
be at my house by 9:00 tonight.
Harold!
Whooooo! Whoooo! Whooo!
$10,000! I'm gonna get $10,000!
Get out of my cab! I'm rich!
Get out of my cab! I'm rich! Get out of my cab! I'm fucking rich!
No, Harold! No!
They minute they get ahold of our money, they're gone!
Honey, when they see that we're actually willing to share the money,
they're gonna put it back in the company.
Haven't you ever heard of an act of faith?
Harold, you have faith in God!
You have faith in your country!
You do not have faith in the eight stooges!
Well, I do,
and I think you're gonna be real surprised tonight.
Harold! Please, Harold, don't!
Oh, what a great day, huh?
My first cab, the reward money, and you came to see me.
Mmm! My grandmother...
will never let me go out with a cabdriver.
Mm. Well, she's got no right.
Mm. Until I turn 18 next May,
she's my legal guardian.
Well, we can just stay right here till May.
Mm.
You'll find someone else by then.
Bye, Albert.
Single heart
Looking for another
It's not your money anyway.
Hey, Harold! What the hell's going on?
When I got to the police station,
they sent me over to the hack inspector's,
and when I got there,
Myrna had already been there and picked up the money.
Yeah, so?
She, uh... She put our stuff out in the street.
She says she's gonna keep the house and the money.
She saw this, uh, Marvin Mitchelson on Good Morning, America.
She says she's entitled.
Hey!
Myrna, it's Dell.
I know a little motel down in Spartanburg.
How about you and me, the 10 grand,
a case of Cuervo Gold and my lucky rubber?
I have already placed calls to the police,
the hack inspector, and Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News!
You are vandals, trespassers...
and are trying to gain entrance illegally.
I have given you fair warning.
- Get outta here!
- Grab and run.
- All right? I'm gonna try and talk to her.
- Yeah.
Myrna! Myrna! Myrna!
- Where you all going? You can't...
- I'm getting out of here!
Buddy, you can't leave! What about Harold? What about loyalty?
- His bitch stole our money!
- Hey, relax, Tyrone.
- Get the fuck off me!
- You know, she is his wife and she's legally entitled.
Besides, she had a flamethrower.
- Harold don't owe you anything anyway, Tyrone.
- Albert's right.
This was gonna be my ticket outta here, so just shut up, Albert!
No, you just shut up for once, goddamn it!
Y'all been talking about leaving since the day I walked in here!
Well, you don't need to leave, 'cause you were never here in the first place!
I'm gonna cream you, sucker!
Stop! That's enough! Stop! Albert's only telling the truth!
We the worst company in town and we know it!
Yeah. I mean, get serious, Albert.
You're the only one around here who wants to be a cabdriver.
That's right. You're the only one around here that wants to be a cabdriver.
No, I don't. I wanna own my own cab company, but I gotta start someplace!
- Hey, man, you dreamin'!
- You're the ones dreaming all the time about your big break!
Well, you ever think that your break might be right here, huh?
I got a few bucks put away.
- How much, huh?
- Yeah. $6,063.
- Whoa.
- You need a roommate, Albert?
That's what my daddy left me.
That's a lot of money. Good.
Now, Harold, he put me up here in D.C.
Board and meals. That's quite a bit I owe him.
And y'all taught me whatever you know.
I'm willing to contribute my savings to all you.
I'm sorry I was gonna kick the shit out of you, Albert.
But we do like Harold says.
We become his partners, we pull together,
and we make something at D.C. Cab.
I mean, if you guys...
would just put half the energy into this company that you do trying to get out of here,
we just might make something of ourselves!
I'm with Albert.
You know, this is the first conversation around here ever made any sense.
Yeah, well, I'm not actually due anywhere for a few years.
I'm in, baby. The kid's a man.
- Well, adios, suckers.
- Hey, Tyrone.
Hey. Hey, Tyrone. You stick with us,
and every day you're one step closer to owning that Mercedes.
Nobody makes decisions for me, Albert,
especially white-bread chickenshit.
Hey, hey. Tyrone, come on.
- We're psychic blood brothers, aren't we?
- Never!
All your friends are right here.
- What's outside there for you?
- Fresh air, honky!
Come on. Let's go find Harold.
- Yeah. Come on.
- All right.
Hold it!
I wanna get one thing straight here or I'm walking too.
I don't work on January the 8th,
'cause that's Elvis's birthday.
Uh huh huh, Uh huh huh
All right! Rock and roll, baby!
Uh huh huh huh huh
Uh huh huh
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go, Albert.
Wahoo!
D.C.
On the street under pressure
The city ain't just mean
Makin' a stand against the odds
You can feel the heat
It's make it or break it
Try to survive
Don't ever say never
Keep your dream alive
Around the clock we're gonna rock
To the rhythm of the street up and down the block
Around the clock we're gonna rock
The dreams you hear if the streets could talk
All right, man. Pleasure doing business
with you.
Wanna be somebody be a contender
Gotta reach for the sky
If you want it, fight for it
Or kiss it good-bye
It's make it or break it
Try to survive...
Uh, hold it right there. You are in a lot of trouble, my friend.
I want these guys arrested. I know they don't have airport licenses.
Well, your alacrity has served you ill this time, my liveried adversary.
In your face, Dick Tracy!
- That too.
- Who wins that?
- You told me they didn't have licenses.
- I didn't know about this.
It's make it or break it
Got to try to survive
Don't ever say never
Keep your dreams alive
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, man!
D.C...
Come here. Get in my cab.
- I wanna show you what I bought with my tips.
- All right.
Whoo!
Two-hundred watt amplifier,
six speakers...
and a power booster!
Watch this!
- Whoo!
- Aaah!
Why, baby, why
Why, why, why
Around the clock we're gonna rock
To the rhythm of the street up and down the block
Ma'am.
Here's some flowers, chocolate...
and a book on the finest homes of the South.
Now, I wanna take Claudette out Saturday night.
Have her home by 10:30.
Da dee da day-o day
Da dee da
Da dee da, oh ho...
Around the clock we're gonna rock
To the rhythm of the street up and down the block
Around the block, yeah, we're gonna rock
The dreams you hear if the streets could talk
Around the clock, now, we're gonna rock
To the rhythm of the street up and down the block
Around the clock, yeah, we're gonna rock
You know, me and Miss Floyd had this unspoken thing for a long time.
Then Myrna stepped out of the picture and...
Just keep on truckin', eh, Deke?
I just called you "Deke," didn't I?
Well, let's drink to your dad.
- I wish he were here with us.
- Looks like part of him is.
- The Chinese feast has arrived!
- Hey.
- Wow.
- Good Lord.
- Oh.
- Oh, hey. I... I got it.
I got it. I got it.
- Thanks, Albert.
- Hey, it's nothing.
No, no. No, I'm not talking about dinner.
Thanks.
All right.
Hey! Hey, Mr. Rhythm.
- This is for you.
- Well, I'll be dipped in buttermilk.
What's the good word?
Mr. Rhythm say,
"Remember, that which make you can also break you."
Aw, man. Yo, brother, you wanna buy a pencil man?
Eh, you wanna buy a jug? This is the same jug that Abraham Lincoln used!
One drink and he freed the slaves.
We haven't had a job since!
Yo, my man. Yo. Wanna buy some souvenirs, brother?
- I thought I had a sucker, you know?
- God.
- Yo, miss. You wanna buy a hat?
- Well, well.
What are you, Uncle Sambo, huh?
- What are you doing here?
- Hide this for me, Dell!
- Hey. We're doing great at the cab company.
- Man, I'm doing great here!
You oughta come back with us. You don't look so great to me.
Miss Cara? Miss Cara?
- Look at you. You look like a clown.
- Irene Cara!
Irene Cara! I can't believe it!Irene Cara!
Hey! Tyrone! Hey! Hey!
No more autographs! No more autographs!
No more autographs. I got your cab right here, Miss Cara.
Tyrone Bywater, at your service.
- Do you always dress that way?
- No. Last week I was the Statue of Liberty,
but I couldn't get the crown over the rollers.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Goddamn it!
How is Tyrone doing?
He's doing great, Denise.
Uh, he's working for Uncle Sam.
I saw Tyrone yesterday, Albert.
He is Uncle Sam.
Well, if you see Tyrone, tell him I said, "Hi," okay?
- Okay, I will. See you tomorrow.
- Have a good day.
- Oh, there's my babies.
- Go! Get him!
Oh!
Hey! What the... Hey, who the hell are you?
Come here, Porky!
What in the hell do you think you're doing?
- Just... No.
- Hey!
- Don't!
Come on! Come on!
You gonna drive, hack?
- Ow. Ouch.
- Start it up.
Drive real easy... real easy.
Here. Over here. Get a doctor.
- Get a doctor, quick!
- They got my babies!
Hurry! They got my babies.
Oh, God. They got my...
I can't tell you what this means to me.
I always carry a picture of you in my cab.
Wrong cab!
If you're here in D.C. running for something, I'll vote for you twice.
Oh, I'm singing at the White House Sunday night.
Oh, yeah? Well, tell 'em all hello from me.
Singing at the White House?
Goddamn. I can't believe it. Irene Cara.
Well, here we are, Sheraton Hotel, safe and sound.
But how about me and you just ride around together for a few more weeks?
Listen, how much do I owe you?
It's on me. My pleasure, believe me, Miss Cara.
Oh, well, thanks, Tyrone.
Get over here.
- Albert.
- Uh-huh.
- This your first time being kidnapped?
- Uh-huh.
- It's our third.
- Yeah. Don't worry.
Pick it up.
This is Ambassador Rayburn.
Hi, stud-muffins.
Can you talk, or is the wife around?
Wrong number!
Well, pick it up, stud-muffins!
This is Ambassador Rayburn.
This is Albert Hockenberry.
$2 million in unmarked bills,
tomorrow at midnight.
I'll call back with instructions.
Albert couldn't kidnap anyone.
Wait, wait, wait. Let me ask you something.
Did Albert ever discuss his political convictions?
Albert don't have no political convictions! He's an American!
Shut up, Dell! You're gonna mess everything up!
- Albert didn't do shit!
- His life is in danger...
and you're off on some wild goose chase, for crying out loud!
- What?
- Why did your wife leave you?
What the hell's that got to do with Albert being kidnapped?
Hold it! Somebody's gotta think here, man!
Oswell. Listen, level with me. Whose side is Albert on?
You know, I've had this bunch under surveillance for a long time...
and there's been some new money around here suddenly.
There's new paint jobs and jackets...
certain payoffs around town.
Yeah. Aren't you pissed off you didn't get one?
Hah!
Well, come to think of it, where did all the money come from all of a sudden?
Jesus.
It was from Albert.
There's no reason to shut us down, so why are you doing it?
- You don't have to shut us down!
- This company is closed...
pending further investigation.
- Lock it!
- I got it.
Kidnapped the son and daughter of Ambassador and Mrs. Rayburn this afternoon.
One of them is identified as D.C. Cab driver Albert Hockenberry,
who is probably armed and considered dangerous.
- Police...
- What a giant load of crap!
He's such a baby. How could they say that?
Hey. I know how everybody's feeling here.
- Uh-huh.
- Feeling wild and on the edge, self-destructive.
And I feel like that every day, every minute of my life.
And now that you're all down here on my level,
I got a game I want to share with you.
Take a bottle, and you spin it, like that old kissin' game.
Whoever it points to holds it up by their face...
and they shake it to see if it'll explode.
Shut up, Dell!
I'm trying to help.
Well, well, well.
- The D.C. Cab kidnappers.
- Oh, that's really good.
Stay cool, guys.
You know, I bet your friend's having a good time...
with, uh, those kids... especially that little girl.
I'll kill you!
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
- You better get out of here before you get hurt!
- All right! All right!
We still got that cab with your name on it, Ophelia!
- I'll wait for you outside, baby. All right.
- Get out of here!
- Ophelia ain't going nowhere!
- That's right.
Wait. No. You not going with them.
Hey. I got a kid, remember?
Oh, now, honey, d-don't do this now.
I mean, you come this far.
Th-They're gonna find Albert. They're gonna find the kids.
We're gonna be in business together in a couple of days.
Come on. This is the time we gotta stick together.
- Something's gonna turn up.
- You dreamin' again, Harold.
I mean, why don't you wake up and realize that dreams just ain't for people like us?
I mean, I don't wanna go,
but I ain't go no choice.
Hello.
Well, look over here. If it isn't our Judas...
just in time for the Last Supper.
- Pick up the check?
- I've got some ideas about helping Albert.
Oh, yeah? When did you get religion?
When I realized that if any of us was in Albert's place,
he'd be figuring out a way to help us.
Did you see the paper! We know half the people involved in this kidnapping!
Now, I got a plan, but I need some help.
- Okay. Let's go for it.
- All right. Yeah!
Okay. Come here. Okay, great. All right.
We're gonna split upin two groups, all right?
Now, I got other business to take care of, so we'll meet in three hours at Abe's place.
Abe's place! Hut!
Look here, brothers. I need a favor. Please, I need a cab.
Bend and flush.
What you say?
They took the cabs! Man, they took all the cabs!
Hey, you! You!
You are under arrest! Citizen's arrest!
You are in a lot of trouble, my friend. You stay right there.
Come on, man!
"Bend and flush."
Denise!
Ambassador Rayburn's children were wearing school uniforms... Open the door. It's Ophelia.
Look, uh, I don't know nothin'.
I talked to the police and they told me not to talk to nobody.
Denise, if you don't open this door, I'm gonna whoop you to fried whale shit.
I don't know nothin'! I don't know nothin'!
Plan "B."
Aaah!
I don't know nothin'.
Dr. Gallagher, Dr. Berman, please call the operator.
Dr. Gallagher, Dr. Berman, please call the operator.
How well do you know these two men?
I told you a hundred times, those fools mean nothing to me!
- That one?
- My babies! They got my babies!
- Ed, her lawyers are here.
- My lawyers?
Leibowitz, Lumkin and Lopez.
Just as I suspected. Look at this food.
It isn't fit for Caucasians!
And these sheets. Are they changed every day?
And I don't mean from room to room!
And you, Nurse. Isn't there some life-supporting system you can be unplugging right now?
- Hey!
- Let me tell you, Mr. F.B.I.
This is the kind of scandal the news media loves!
Get me my cousin, Geraldo Rivera, on the line.
Oh. How you doin', Matty?
All they do is keep showing me these photographs they developed from the nun's camera.
Hey. I ran over a nun once.
Hey. This looks like the kidnappers right here.
Does the F.B.I. have any idea where this farm is located, Matty?
They keep asking me if I know.
Hell, this could be Wisconsin or something.
Wisconsin. That's the cheese state, isn't it?
That's right. Leibowitz, Lumkin and Lopez.
Ed, there's a report out on D.C. Cab. They stole two vehicles.
D.C. Cab. That's where I know them!
Dr. Zamuda to maternity.
- They found out!
- Ohhh! Oh, shit!
My babies! Find my babies!
- Eldorado!
- All right, move it! Come on!
- Get going! Hurry up!
- Let's go! Come on! Go!
Hey! Hey! Come on! Let's get 'em!
D.C. Cab! Come on! This is the F.B.I.! Hold it.
- Ohhh! Jesus!
- Whoa! Come on!
Hold it! Don't just stand there! Get after them! Come on!
Least you could do is give the kids a decent meal.
Yeah! We're starving!
- Shut up!
- Shut up!
- Let's get moving. Come on.
- Shit.
Don't worry. I'll get us out of this.
We're not worried.
Harold!
What are you doing here? You have no right here!
Myrna, I know you're entitled to something for all the years we spent together,
but so am I!
I gotta get some money together and get a lawyer for Albert, so get out of my way.
- No. Where you going? No, no. Harold!
- Get out of my way!
No! Don't go up there! Harold, don't come in here. Don't come in here!
Where's my flamethrower?
What do you need the flamethrower for?
Where's my flamethrower?
In the basement! Why?
- Get away from the door, Myrna.
- Harold, don't. I'm gonna call the police.
You're gonna be on the news like that man who barricaded himself with his bazooka!
Ernesto, he has the flamethrower!
Police!
Get a few bucks for this two.
Uh, Ernesto, that door sticks. Let me give you a hand with it, all right.
Aaah!
You know what your problem is, Bravo?
You're so short, your brain is just too close to your asshole!
Holy Jes... W-Wait! Myrna! Jesus! Oh!
Ayyy!
Oh!
Myrna, you shouldn't have done it,
but I'm real glad you did!
Good-bye!
Ernesto!
Oh, Jesus.
Don't worry, kids. I'm almost out of this.
- Yea, Albert!
- Yea! All right!
- Way to go!
- Shh! Shh. Shh.
Where we going, Albert?
We're not going anywhere. I'm gonna go try and find my cab.
- My fault? You quit your blaming me for stuff!
- Shut up!
You should never have been in this thing in the first place.
Ow! Shit.
Miss Floyd, can you...
Miss Floyd, can you hear me?
Miss Floyd, can you read me?
Hey, it's Albert. Somebody answer me, okay?
It's Albert. Somebody... Somebody answer me, please!
Hey, D.C. Cab! It's Albert!
Somebody! Miss Floyd! Harold!
Somebody answer me!
It's Albert! Help!
It's Albert! Come on, come on! Isn't there anybody out there?
Where the hell is everybody?
Come on! Come on!
Hold it. All right, hold it! Hold it here! What happened?
What happened? Quiet!
- What happened?
- Denise don't know nothin'.
- We ditched the cab.
- All right. Good going. Here's the deal.
We got these pictures here, all right? There's a picture of a farmhouse,
but it could be any farmhouse anywhere.
- A nun took 'em! A nun took these.
- But, anyway,
we don't know that they've got Albert and the kids.
- Well, this is all we got!
- That's right.
You just hang on, Albert! Hang on!
I'm going to Abe's place and get Harold.
Hang on!
Mr. Rhythm, listen to me. Listen to me.
Uh, there's a farmhouse and a... and a windmill.
There's a million farmhouses and a million windmills too!
Yeah, well, we're, uh...
I hear airplanes. We're south of the airport somewhere.
Wait a minute. Maybe I'd better get a pencil and paper.
Hey. Uh, I see it!
I see something. I see something. It's, uh...
It's, uh, Bruce Lee.
- What?
- It's Bruce Lee! It's Bruce Lee.
I'm almost at Abe's place where Harold is. Just hang on!
Come on, car!
Wait, wait, wait. I gotta get back to the kids.
I got Albert! I got Albert!
I got Albert! I got Albert on the squawk box! I got him! I got him!
Come on! Come on! He's on the squawk box!
Albert! Albert it's Harold. Albert, it's Harold!
Albert, it's...
- It's dead, Mr. Rhythm.
- No! It can't be! I just talked to him!
Albert! Albert! This is Mr. Rhythm!
Come on in! Man. Okay. That's all right.
That's all right. It doesn't matter, because... because I got it.
- He told me.
- Yeah?
Okay. This is what he said. Albert said...
that he's at a farm and it's at the airport...
and there's a windmill.
And the important thing is...
that he's with Bruce Lee.
Bruce Lee?
Wait, wait. Wait a minute.
You sure he said "Bruce Lee"? He's dead, you know.
- Uh-huh. He said Bruce Lee.
- That kung fu guy?
Hey, you know, Bruce Lee, he ain't dead.
They got him cryptonized down in Chatsworth.
He's jammed in a silo and he's frozen hard as a carp.
And they're gonna melt him down as soon as the economy gets better.
- Thanks, Dell.
- Hey, man,
now that we know the farmhouse is close to the airport, let's go!
Come on! Come on!
Where? Where are you going?
- There's gotta be a hundred farms near the airport.
- Yeah.
- Samson, we should call the cops.
- We are in enough trouble already.
Don't be stupid. You know if the cops find Albert before we do,
they're gonna shoot him and ask questions later.
Yeah, but wait a minute. Wait a minute. Just wait a minute.
We don't even know where Albert is.
I mean trying to find him is one thing,
but trying to rescue him is something else entirely.
And if we could find him, there'd be guns and kidnappers and guns.
Wait a minute! We better think about this before we do something.
I'm sorry, brother. I don't have a minute,
so you can do what you wanna do.
But I owe Albert, for helping me find the things I never had before,
like pride and dignity.
So I'm going out there after them,
because the least I can find is my self-respect...
and the most I can find is Albert and them kids.
I don't know about you, but I like what I became these past few weeks,
and I ain't never going back to being what I was before.
Never!
His truth
Is marching on
Mine eyes have seen the glory.
- All right then. Let's go.
- Hallelujah!
There are seven Lee's out by the airport, but no Bruce.
- There is a Ruth.
- We gotta check 'em all, guys.
All right. There's a "Spruce Tree Lane..."
and a "Moose Knee Landing."
- Moose Knee Landing?
- I said that. It's on my map.
Okay. We'll take Moose Knee Landing.
No! He said "Bruce Lee"!
I told you, Bruce Lee was frozen.
Everything's gonna be all right. I got a message through. Help's on the way.
You're not scared are you?
We weren't up till now.
But these guys don't know what they're doing.
Hey, man, look! The windmill. This is it. This is it.
This is the place. It's the farmhouse.
I think we found him, man. Come on.
- Look at the mailbox, man. It's Bruce "Lee"!
- But that says Bruce "Leg."
I told you fools to stay in school. Now, keep it down.
Shh. Shh. Shh.
Oh.
Sorry, ma'am. Wrong house.
Okay. This is Harold. Listen up. Everybody report in. Let's start with Tyrone.
I don't even know where the hell I am.
All right. Uh, Baba.
Well, we had a Spruce Tree thing, but I think it got washed away.
Okay, uh, Bongo?
We checked all streets to the airport. Nothing.
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
Albert was right! It is Bruce Lee!
It is Bruce Lee! Albert was right!
I found that karate motherfucker!
Get down! Get on down from there!
- Get on down from there!
- Tyrone!
Get down! Get down, you idiot!
Get down! Get down from there!
Ah, see? Ah, see? I told you! It's Bruce Lee!
I told you it was Bruce Lee!
I see it! I see the windmill!
I see it, Harold! I see the windmill!
I see it! Aaah! I see it!
- All right, everybody.
- Get them son of a bitches, Bruce!
Deck 'em! Deck 'em!
What the hell's the matter with you?
Why are women so uptight? They got have the money and all the pussy!
All right, let's go!
- We gotta move outta here now!
- But we haven't called about the ransom yet!
- Will you shut up about the stupid ransom?
- Who the hell you talking to?
- I'm talking to you!
- Shut up!
We're moving, and we're moving now.
- This is the police!
- Shit!
- There must be a hundred cops out there!
- Get back in. Get back.
I ain't dying here, man. I'll give myself up first.
This is the police. We've got you surrounded.
Send the kids out... slow.
And Albert!
And Albert Hockenberry. Send them out.
- Okay. What do I say now?
- Tell them you're Batman.
No!
You better come out now, you scumbags!
Cops don't talk like that.
They do to me!
Do you hear us?
I say we kill these fuckers, huh?
Yeah. Then we'll go down fighting.
- You are a pitiful bitch.
- Oh, you...
Okay, pigs!
Now, listen! We'll give 'em up after you let us go!
- I don't trust 'em.
- I don't either.
- You can't trust 'em.
- With those two little kids in there?
- We got no choice.
- Okay?
- Okay!
Go. Come on.
All right. Stay behind the cabs. Don't get shot.
- Move your feet!
- All right just... just hold your fire, men!
- Okay. Okay.
- Kid!
Okay. Now, you can let them go!
We'll let 'em go when we get out of here!
Get the van! Get the van!
Let 'em go! Damn it!
Tyrone! Tyrone! Shit.
Gimme those kids!
You're not a cop! They're cabdrivers!
- What?
- Cab drivers!
Aaah!
Gotcha! I got ya!
Bring 'em over! Bring 'em over!
What are you doing?
Aaah!
Move over, girl! Move over.
Get in there, goddamn it!
- Drive, Dickey!
- Go! Go, baby!
Hey, man! Hey, man, they got Albert!
- Go get him! We'll get him! Come on!
- They got Albert!
Come on. Drive, Dickey! Get us out of here, man!
- Holy shit. They're following us.
- Oh!
- Come on!
- Give it the gas, man!
- Geez.
- All right. Drill 'em, Dell!
- Come on!
- Here we go.
- Drill 'em, Dell!
- Oh!
Very nice!
Go, go! Come on! Let's get 'em!
This machine won't go any faster.
I'll take you in close. All right, baby. Get 'em!
Do it, baby. Do some damage, baby!
Aaah!
Hey, wait a minute, man!
Whoo! Whoo!
- Aaah!
- Drive, Dickey! Don't listen to them!
- Okay. You got it.
- Got what?
Hey! Give a person a little warning when you do that next time, would you, please?
- Move over, Tyrone! Get out of my way!
- Wait!
Let me get 'em! I'll get 'em! Get 'em!
I'm gonna get 'em!
Let me get 'em!
I can't wait! Come on!
Hit the bitch! Hit the bitch! Jack-smack that motherfucker!
Yahoo! Come on! Come on! Come one!
Jesus fucking Christ!
Go to the... Move to the right! Dance them off!
Why don't you pick on somebody else?
You outta you min... Wait a minute. Hold this for me.
Oh, sure. Priorities. Yeah.
Let's get 'em! Let's get 'em!
Get that bitch, goddamn it! I can't drive and die too!
Ow!
Yee-haw-haw-haw!
Oh, Albert!
Come on! We gonna save you, Albert!
Get off of me, bitch!
Albert, tell me one thing! Tell me you're wearing your daddy's boots!
- What?
- Tell me you're wearing your daddy's boots!
- I am!
- Hold him!
They got him! Ah! They got him!
Yee-haw-haw-haw!
They got him! Aaah!
Whoaaaa!
Aaah!
I've been chasing dreams
For so long
Just one step at a time
And then they're gone
Illusions of love
Would come and go
I guess you have to hurt
Before you grow
And everybody knows
D.C. Cab, D.C. Cab
D.C. Cab, D.C. Cab
Never let go of the
Never let go of the
Dream
The dream
I always seem to lose what, I thought was mine
And many times, I tried to leave it behind
But deep inside hope was still alive
Deep inside dreams will never die
That is why, we're moving closer to the truth
It's really great for me to be here
I won over the pain and the fear
It's been so very hard through the years
Been looking through a rainbow of tears
And still I never really
Let go of the dream
Sometimes I saw my life just falling apart
And all the rejection tearing at my heart
But deep inside hope was still alive
Deep inside, Dreams will never die
If you try, there'll be so much more for you
It's really great for me to be here
I won over the pain and the fear
It's been so very hard through the years
Been looking through a rainbow of tears
And still I never really
Let go of the dream
We can all be free, We hold the key
If we could see what we wanna be
Life's never easy, You get no guarantees
Why not give your all
And see what you can find
It's really great for me to be here
I won over the pain and the fear
It's been so very hard through the years
Been looking through a rainbow of tears
And still I never really
Let go of the dream
It's really great for me to be here
I won over the pain and the fear
It's been so very hard through the years
Been looking through a rainbow of tears
And still I never really
Let go of the dream
We can all be free, We hold the key
If we can see what we wanna be
Life's never easy you get no guarantees
Why not give your all and see what you can find
It's really great for me to be here
I won over the pain and the fear
It's been so very hard through the years
Been looking through a rainbow of tears
And still I never really
Let go of the dream
It's really great for me to be here
I won over the pain and the fear
It's been so very hard through the years
Been looking through a rainbow of tears
And still I never really
Let go of the dream
Where to?
I am the Angel of Death. Take me to hell.
Got any luggage?
Is anybody out there?
Is there anybody out there?
Oh, shit!
He's mine! He's mine! He's mine!
Time out, fool!
I lost my roller.
Oh, shit. Well, come on, y'all! Help me find my roller!
Else my hair ain't gonna come out right.
Suckers! Catch me, motherfuckers!
Is anybody out there?
Is anybody out there?
Watch it, child!
I'm sorry, sir. All of our cabs seem to be busy right now.
D.C.
On the street under pressure
The city ain't just mean
Hey! Hey, D.C. Cab!
D.C. Cab, hey!
They cannot stand against the odds
You can feel the heat
It's make it or break it
Try to survive
Don't ever say never, Keep your dream alive
My cab ain't no motel! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!
You're a pitiful specimen of manhood!
And why ain't you off the street and get a decent job?
- 'Cause I need the bread!
- Then, get a job at the bakery!
D.C.
I wanna be somebody be a contender
Gotta reach for the sky
If you want it, fight for it
Or kiss it good-bye
It's make it or break it, Try to survive
Don't ever say never, Keep your dream alive...
Around the clock...
Hey!
Hey, hey! Can you tell me where I can find D.C. Cab Company?
- Down there?
- Uh-uh-uh.
- Can you take me?
- Uh-uh-uh-uh...
- I'll pay ya!
- Uh-uh!
Hey, mayday! Hey, hey! Mayday!
D.C.
It's make it or break it, Got to try to survive
Don't ever say never, Keep your dream alive
Around the clock we're gonna rock
To the rhythm of the street
Yeah, I'll be back in a second.
Hey, how ya doin'? Look, I gotta be real quick.
I got a very nervous passenger in here.
Yeah, I'll be with ya in a second. Hold yer kazoo.
Okay, that's my thing. Continue on.
I don't know what I'm doin'. I'm wastin' my time. Nobody lives there anyway.
It's a goddamn Amityville Horror in there! It's an evil house that runs the world!
You know, on the news they always say,
"The White House said this. The White House said that." They're not kidding.
The house talks Nobody lives there.
- All right. All right.
- Hey, hey!
- Get outta here!
- Hey! Hey!
D.C.
It's make it or break it, Got to try to survive
Don't ever say never
Hey, get out of here!
Keep your dream alive
On the street under pressure
- Bye, baby. Thanks.
- Any time, Miss...
Taxi! Oh, shoot!
Taxi!
It's make it or break it
Try to survive
Don't ever say never, Keep your dream alive
Thank you.
Around the clock we're gonna rock
Watergate Hotel, please.
- Where to, baby?
- Nowhere with you!
Tough to be a man, baby.
Can't you hear me?
Move! What the hell are you doin'?
What are you two doin'? Get back in the cab!
He looks good up there, doesn't he?
Good mornin', baby!
Come on. Come on.
Come on. Thank you, baby.
Don't ever say never, Keep your dream alive
Around the clock we're gonna rock
To the rhythm of the street down the block
Around the clock, yeah, we're gonna rock
The dreams you hear with the streets that talk
Around the clock, yeah, we're gonna rock
To the rhythm of the street down the block
Around the clock, yeah, we're gonna rock
God.
Don't let your dick run your life.
- Huh?
- You heard me.
I said, Don't let your dick run your life
That's Mr. Rhythm's good advice.
Saved your ass. Only cost you a quarter.
Oh.
Can you, uh... Can you tell me where I can find, uh, Harold Oswell?
Harold Oswell?
If you're a process server, he ain't here.
I'm Albert. Albert Hockenberry.
What, Deke's boy?
This one?
No, this one.
Goldarn! Oh, geez!
You know, Myrna, I'm really getting sick of this.
Every time I go out, I get robbed by the same guy in a ski mask.
Could someone get the phone?
- Say hello to Ophelia.
- Hi.
And this is Miss Floyd, our dispatcher. And this is Baba.
- I quit, Harold.
- And, uh,
this is my wife, Myrna.
- Myrna, you remember Deke Hockenberry from 'Nam?
- Mmm?
This is his little kid, Albert.
He just hitchhiked up here from Locust Grove, Georgia.
- Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Oswell.
- How do you do?
Ow! Hey, hey, baby. Where's my wheels?
- There's women all over D.C. waiting for me!
- Okay, come on.
- Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
- Hey, I'm sorry.
Uhh!
Myrna, you know the only thing wrong with oral sex?
Huh?
The view!
Oh, shit. "The view."
Hey, uh, I sent you a letter sayin' I was comin'. Didn't you get it?
Must've got in with the bills.
Tyrone!
- Where you think you're going?
- I'm goin' to work, babe.
Not before I get my lease money for the last two weeks.
I got it right here, Harold! You know I'm always take care of you.
I always take care of your money. Here.
You know that, man.
- And the 20 you owe me, brother.
- Damn.
- Here!
- And the 10 you owe me for the baseball pool.
Bloodsuckers!
- Where'd you get all this money, Tyrone?
- Where do you think the money!
I've been workin' drivin' this cab all day.
- Uh-oh!
- You. Come here.
Well, well, well, Mr. Bravo, our friendly hack inspector.
What it is! Run it down! What's happenin', fly?
What you buggin' me about now?
A short trip to the airport, which you are not licensed to make anyway...
a trip that should've cost 12 bucks,
and you charged Mr. and Mrs. Tomatsu...
$195?
They had a lot of luggage!
You know, Harold, this company's a disgrace to the hack bureau.
- I ought to close you down right now!
- Yeah, yeah. All right.
- Don't worry about it, Mr. Bravo.
- What is he, crazy?
- I got the money. No harm done.
- Here it is, folks.
- Don't listen to him! No, no.
- I got $195 right here.
You're gonna press charges, aren't you?
No. No, I don't think so.
All right. They're not gonna press changes, but I'm still gonna try and close you, Harold!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh.
And you, I'm gonna have your hack license! What are you, crazy?
Hey, man. We're working hard, doin' the best we can.
And all you wanna do is close us down. Where's a cat like you at?
If you had any education, you'd know that you don't end a sentence with a preposition.
Oh, okay! So, where you at, asshole?
Tyrone!
Calm down!
Vietnam, Vietnam
Vietnam, Vietnam
Vietnam, Vietnam
Vietnam, Yesterday, I got a letter
Go on. Put it on. It's yours.
From my friend fighting in Vietnam
And this is what he had to say
Tell all my friends
That I'll be coming home soon
Did you leave me a beer?
Sure, honey. I mean, there-there's several in the... in the... fridge.
Uh...
I'm sorry I didn't make it to your dad's funeral.
Hey, funerals are bullshit, anyways.
I'll get your bed made.
- Hey! I can't believe I'm here, huh?
- You are.
"Don't be like me," my old man used to say.
"Be like Harold. Be your own boss."
He said you were the only guy who came home...
and made his big dreams come true.
Well, not all of my dreams came true.
Hey, you're gonna be real comfortable here.
It... It... It's better than it looks. I-I've slept here myself.
A lot.
And if you get cold,
I got a, uh,
another little war souvenir.
So, if you want to start yourself a cozy little fire...
John's upstairs to your left.
Hey, I... I got a few bucks put away. I don't want to be in the way here.
As long as you're in D.C., you're stayin' here with Myrna and me.
I-I'm not just visitin'.
I'm here to break into the business.
- What business?
- Cab business.
One, two, cha-cha-cha, Three, four, cha-cha-cha
Well, Albert, it's tough to be a cabdriver, baby.
- That's why I became a gigolo, baby.
- Gigolo?
Yeah, you know, "Richard Hutton," "Lauren Gere."
You know, "roll me in designer sheets..." the American Gigolo.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah! See, I use my cab...
to meet rich women... congressmen's wives, senator's wives.
- Hey, I find the right one, and she keeps me in style.
- Yeah?
And then I give up drivin'. Because it's tough to be a man, baby.
And, it's tougher to be a cabdriver.
It's not easy being a passenger, either!
You see any cops?
Oh, if there were any, we lost 'em.
- Thanks.
- You got it, man.
- You've got a lovely figure, ma'am.
- Thank you very much.
Albert, did you know that D.C. is 75% nig,
black, colored, whatever you're callin' 'em?
And you made a good move gettin' in now, just like me.
'Cause, like in the army...
Like nobody ever goes in the army anymore, except blacks.
Someday one nigger's gonna wake up and say,
"We got the guns and the mustard gas and the tanks. We could run the army!"
And they're gonna take over the whole country, and we'll be in with them already.
We'll be token whites. Think about it.
Venus Club, and I'm late.
- Ma'am, what?
- Venus Club, and I'm late.
Listen, boys.
I've got to work topless in five minutes,
and I've got to get out of this bra, so it doesn't make any marks on my body.
So this ain't no show for your boys.
Yes, ma'am.
Ma'am, you're with two fine Southern gentlemen.
Here we are.
Hey, where my fare?
Call the cops, wise ass.
Your first stiff, Albert. Happens all the damn time.
Go get the money she owes us.
Go!
I know!
- Oh, excuse me.
- What are you doing here?
Steve, this guy is trying to cop of feel.
One more time around the block
Low-life.
I feel ya
I'm gonna feel ya
Touchin' me once more
Yeah, yeah, One more time around the block
I'm gonna feel ya
I'm gonna steal ya
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
He's got my money! He's got my money!
Get your hands off of me!
Hey, your car's goin' backwards, stupid!
Hey, Albert. When we leave to open our gym,
don't let Harold stick you with this piece of shit!
- Hey, you're goin' backwards!
- Hey, I know, all right!
My cab's broken! It'll only go in reverse!
I'm bringin' it to the shop!
- Take it easy, huh?
- Asshole!
- We should just leave the cab, guys.
- Take it easy, Albert.
- We've never been in a car accident ever.
- Never.
Yeah, but, uh, our brother-in-law, Ralphie, he was in one.
- Listen to this.
- Listen to this.
- He's drivin' with his boss next to him...
- Uh-huh.
and out from nowhere this truck smashes into him doin' 70 miles an hour.
Raphie looks over at his boss and what does he see?
He sees that his body was cut in half.
His upper half of his body was, like, impaled onto the upholstery.
And the other half of his body was, like, lyin' on the floor...
with the blood and the guts hangin' out of it.
- But the half of him on the seat is still fuckin' alive!
- He was still conscious.
His heart's hangin' out of him, drainin' blood.
He looks down at himself and he looks over to Ralphie, and he says...
"Oh, my God! I'm dead!"
Albert, you got to know your districts.
This is the worst, right here. Just look at this.
I was workin' beyond, I cannot be outdone
I'm a winner
Now, listen up!
How many times I got to tell you kids to stay away from this drug-dealin' pimp?
And you, slime, if it's the last thing I do, I'm gonna get these kids away from you!
- Hey, no you're not! Get on outta here!
- Uncle Samson!
Oh, good to see ya! Good to see ya!
Albert, I want you to meet my niece, Jolene.
- Oh, hi. Hi.
- Jolene, this is Albert.
I'm teachin' him to be a cabdriver. Let's take you to school.
Yeah!
Baby, you got to be a world champion
I cannot be outdone, I'm a winner
I stay on the winnin' team with the glitter and the gleam
No beginner
It's the car, Albert. I can't keep 'em away from the car.
Always wanted to do something for the kids in the neighborhood.
But I wound up in this cab,
stuck like a turtle in his shell.
Bein' a cabby don't mean nothin' in this world.
So, Albert find somethin' to do with yourself.
Don't become a turtle like me.
Okay. Well, if you want to drive a cab, you're gonna have to pass the test.
And, if you're gonna pass the test, you're gonna have to know the zones.
So, which zone is the... Treasury Building in?
- Ticktock, ticktock.
- 1-C.
- 2-D?
- Ticktock, ticktock.
- Ticktock, ticktock.
- 1-C.
- Wrong! Arrgh!
- 2-D.
All right. Which, uh...
Whi... Hey. Hey, how was the movie?
Albert, my mother did not raise me to be a maid!
How many times do I have to tell you to pick up your socks?
Sorry, Myrna.
Come on. Let's go. Which zone is the...
- the Watergate Hotel in?
- 3-A.
- Ticktock, tocktick.
- No one left me a beer!
Harold, you know that I can't sleep unless I have a beer...
while I'm watching Johnny Carson.
- I'm, uh, sorry, Myrna.
- No, you're not.
If you were sorry you wouldn't have done it to begin with.
- I'll go get us a six-pack.
- No, I don't want a beer now.
- I'm gonna get you a beer, Myrna.
- I'll get the beer.
No, I will get the beer! I will get in the car and go over to Open All Night,
where Rayette St. Clair almost got mugged and murdered the other night.
Hey-hey-hey. You're getting ridiculous about a beer.
I work seven days a week...
For no money, I put up with a pack of savages,
and all I ask for is a beer so I can watch Johnny!
I'm gonna get you a beer!
If the Clydesdale horses driven by Ed McMahon...
were to march down Pennsylvania Avenue to bring me the entire brewery,
I wouldn't drink a beer now!
- I'll be right back.
- Oh, hey. I'll go with you.
My life ain't all your daddy cracked it up to be, is it?
Hey. It's tough to be a man, baby!
Dell! Dell, Dell, Dell.
I passed my test. When will... When will I get my license?
After you go through the F.B.I. and the C.I.A. then you're okay.
Then, you got to wear a fish costume and blow the mayor.
Hey, Bongo. Bongo. Can I ride with you today?
- Why?
- I don't know.
I want you to tell me about Jamaica and Kingston and you know.
Jamaica? How would I know? I'm from Cleveland.
Ohh
Well, good mornin', honey. Come on! Come on!
Come on! We're gonna have to stop meetin' like this.
Hey... Hey, Harold!
- Yeah?
- Passed!
- Hey, good goin', Albert.
- That's it, Harold, I quit!
That's the third time I've been ripped off by the same punk, and I'm not havin' it no more.
You can't quit on me, Ophelia. Listen, honey. you're the only good driver I got.
- Watch me!
- Now, wait.
I don't work for you, no way. I work for some punk in a ski mask.
I'm going over to Emerald and drive for them.
You're not... Hey! You're not gonna be happy at Emerald and you know it.
I don't deserve to be this happy.
I'm going to Emerald, where nobody gets robbed 'cause they know how to pay off the cops.
All right. But listen to me, will ya? I got... Oh, no. Wait. Now, wait now. Come on.
Now, you got to listen to me. Listen, you can't leave now, okay? I've got an idea.
I got somethin' I think is gonna make this company start to work.
- You can't leave now.
- Listen, Harold. I like you, all right?
And I tried to stick it out here. But you ain't got no company.
- No, that's what I...
- You have an asylum, all right?
I mean, you got this animal magnetism. You attract animals.
Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here.
Come here. Let's you and me go have a beer.
I don't want to go have a beer, 'cause you ain't gonna do nothin'...
- but try to talk me out of leavin' again.
- No, no. I won't do that.
Let's just go have a beer.
- Okay.
- Okay? Put your stuff here, okay?
- You put it there.
- All right.
I'll be back in an hour.
Dell? Dell! You okay?
Never better! Just doin' some intestinal yoga!
- You do drugs, Dell?
- I don't remember!
Dell! Hey, Dell, darlin' baby.
- Hey, you been missin' me?
- Oh, you know I have!
You see this face? It's leavin' town in five minutes. Be on it!
Hello, sweetheart!
Hello, sweetheart.
- Hey, Dell! This looks like a great place to pick up fares!
- Might get lucky.
Come here, Albert. Look.
Look at those fine-lookin females. Hot to trot!
- Those guys are faggots!
- Yeah, but women love that shit!
- That's the show, girls!
- There they come, damn it!
Come on, ladies!
All right! You, you, you... We're about to party!
- Hey, Dell!
- Yeah.
- Can I go with you?
- Not tonight.
Carpooling, what a beautiful idea!
Get in, sweetheart. Don't you worry about the fare. We'll work out something!
- Xavier! Xavier! You got room for me, huh?
- Not today, baby!
- You're on your own!
- Buzzy!
- Buzzy. Bu-Buzzy. Got room?
- No room!
Hey, ladies! So where we goin'?
Your place or mine!
Wow! Wild Time!
- Hey, you got a good word, Mr. Rhythm?
- Hey, Mr. Rhythm say,
"If you can go through the night till dawn without committin' suicide,
then you okay!"
Uh, I don't think I'll pay you for that one, Mr. Rhythm.
Huh.
- You're a real fine musician, Baba.
- Yeah?
Well, I guess my fame and fortune attest to that.
But, I'm not complaining.
Music... is still the best way I know to fight off...
a little thing I like to call the "Big Fear."
Death. Death.
No, not death.
Death, believe me, is a little fear.
The Big Fear... the real fear...
is that hard times might squeeze you so bad,
you'll be drivin' every day of the week.
It's the fear that the music you're writing or...
your brilliant first novel that's, like, a draft away...
from being a best-seller or...
your plans for law school... have to wait.
You see, Albert, after all that it takes...
the hopes and dreams and...
the whole bag of tricks that you need...
just to walk around on the planet...
Well, the Big Fear, Albert,
is that you're becoming a cabdriver.
I'm lost in this crowd
Heads up! Heads up! Myrna. Myrna.
Okay, which one was yours?
Myrna, when you gonna quit holdin' out on me?
You know I can suck the white right off your teeth.
- Oh, please, I have a headache.
- You have a headache, really?
Heal! Heal this woman!
- Dell!
- Heal this woman!
That's enough!
Can I ride with you today, Tyrone?
Can you ride with me? What, is you drunk?
Ride with me?
Single heart, Single heart
Looking for another
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh
Single heart, Single heart
Looking for another
Single heart, Single heart
Looking for another
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh
Ooh...
And take your eyes off my granddaughter, cabby!
Well, well, well. If it ain't Deceased Cab.
And the war hero here.
Fighting soldiers from the sky
When are you gonna come to work for number one?
Ophelia? Then, you'll be around real men, honey.
Hey, we want anymore shit outta you, we'll squeeze your head!
- Hey, come here, fuckface!
- Don't you go talkin' trash in my place!
- Yeah, trash!
- Huh?
Marty, Marty, Marty, Hearty.
Got a pail of oats for the last of the Mohicans here.
Mr. Ernesto.
I love this man and not because he's the hack inspector,
but because he is a marvelous human being.
Oh, hey. Did you get that, uh, case of wine I sent over for you?
- Marty, anything he wants, put it on our tab.
- No. No, thank you.
I don't have any time for breakfast. Uh, listen up, cabbies!
Did any of you...
have this passenger in your cab?
That's too bad, because he left a very precious violin...
worth $1/2 million in a cab!
Did you find it! Did you find it!
Jolene!
Get out! Jolene! Get out of here!
Get out! I'll kill you, punk, if I ever see you with my niece again!
And that goes for your boys too!
Go ahead! Go ahead!
- Girl, did he touch you? Did he put his hands on you?
- Uh-uh.
I didn't nothin' bad. I swear, Uncle Samson.
I just wanted to ride in his pretty car!
I swear I didn't do nothin' bad, Uncle Samson!
I didn't do nothin' bad.
It's the car, Harold. It's that car!
No violin! No money! No Mercedes!
Aw, shit!
- What do you want?
- I am ridin' with you today, Tyrone!
Oh, now, let me get this straight.
You're like this honky dude from the deep South...
who digs workin' with the brothers, right?
No, Tyrone. I'm from the new South, where we're all brothers.
Ah! That's cool.
A little funky for you here in the new South, brother?
No, it's fine.
My man!
Soul-brother number one.
There's the British Embassy, Albert, and the Brazilian.
And up ahead is the embassy where we work.
Tyrone drives us to work every day.
So, Denise, when you goin' out with me?
- Why should I go out with you?
- 'Cause I'm black and I'm beautiful!
Well, so is Lola Falana,
but you don't see me goin' out with her.
- All right!
- Oh, yeah!
Okay, now, here we are! Get out fast!
- Quick! Get out before they see me!
- Who?
There they are! My babies!
- Ohh!
- It's too late!
- I couldn't wait to see my babies this mornin'.
- Hi, Matty!
- Ohh! Are you all right?
- Now, how many times...
have I told you not to throw eggs at Tyrone?
Be cool. We ain't supposed to be here without an airport license.
- What are we doin' here?
- You're hangin' with a thief.
Yo, brah! Yo, brah! What's up? What's up?
Yo, man. You need a cab or do you travel O.J. Simpson?
- Yeah, we need a cab.
- Well, all right.
Albert, get out. Open the trunk for these fine people, man.
So, where y'all goin'? What it look like?
Oh, shit! Get back in, Albert! Get back in!
Let me see your license!
They won't follow. They don't want to lose their place on line.
Ah! Fuck you!
Oh, sucker, 12:00 and high!
Take me to the National Airport.
That's the other airport way across town. Cost you 50 bucks!
Should've asked him for a hundred, huh?
- Hey, he passed out cold.
- Huh?
National Airport! Fifty bucks!
- Hey, you can't take...
- Watch me. Watch me.
- I'm teachin' you how to get over in the city!
- Here.
That's right. Have a nice day, sir. Have a good day.
Take care of yourself. Get home safe.
What you talkin' about?
This is 50 bucks less he'll spend on booze!
I just gave his liver a break. Look at that, man!
- Fifty dollars!
- Yeah, well, I won't let you be a thief.
Yo, what's wrong... Oh, man!
- Jesus, Tyrone!
- Ain't I just a bad dumbass nigger?
Yeah! And why don't for once take those goddamn rollers out of your hair?
You got it.
Yeah. Yeah.
All this time you think I'm just a crazy dumbass nigger...
with green rollers in his hair, huh?
Well, that's good!
'Cause that's just what I want everybody to think.
Get out of my cab, fool. Get out of my cab.
You just like all those fools in college.
Yeah, another surprise! I got myself into college.
Was gonna get me a Mercedes.
But I got hip to the scam, man!
I showed 'em.
Dropped out. Told them what they can do with their college.
And now, this system's got one more...
crazy, dumbass nigger just like it deserves.
- Hey, Tyrone, just stop it!
- Just stay out of my way, Albert...
white-bread, chickenshit Hockenberry.
Stay out of my way!
Hey. Hey!
Hey, come on!
I bet you're gonna tell Harold all about the drunk...
and how I left you out here, ain't you?
Not if you let me ride with you tonight, Tyrone.
Shit!
I hope you're satisfied, Hockenberry!
- I'm missin' out on the game tonight because of you!
- Hey, well, I like games.
This game is only for psychic blood-brothers of D.C. Cab!
Yeah, well, how, uh... how do I become one?
Go out there and dig up three bodies.
I'm only shittin' ya, white bread.
There's only three ways known to man to become a psychic blood-brother.
- One, you got to get a hack license.
- Well, I'm gettin' mine.
- Two, you got to get a mask!
- Oh, that's easy.
And three,
you got to make The Run!
"The Run"?
The Run.
- Whoa! Okay!
- Come on. Get in!
Dig this, white bread. This is The Run!
Now, we gonna stay on these tracks all night until we make a man out'cha.
Yo, dig this, man. Dell has the record for the longest run...
- seven miles... all the way to Green Street!
- Seven miles. No shit?
Yeah, man. But we gonna beat it tonight, brother, me and you.
Listen to my baby! Ah, yeah!
I've been chasin' dreams
For so long
Just one step behind
And then there goes
Illusions of love
Like that music, man?
- Yeah.
- Know who that is? That's Irene Cara, man!
Look at this woman. Ain't she fine? Look at her, man.
What's happenin', baby? What it look like?
Ain't she fine? Check it out, man! When you gonna let me bust it out?
Everybody knows
Uh, I got one question, Tyrone.
- How do you know when the train's comin'?
- You don't!
You just got to deal with it, man!
- I see. I see. This is The Run!
- This is it! This is it!
- You lookin' at it!
- Oh, I see how it works now.
I love it. Let's get off.
Goddamn, man! Jesus!
You gonna be chickenshit all your life, Albert?
And don't think I feel sorry for you 'cause your daddy died!
My daddy came back from the Korean War with his brain so scrambled...
he thought he was Jesus!
They put him in a nuthouse for five years. When he came out,
he didn't think he was Jesus no more.
He thought he was God!
Which made me Jesus.
- His shit got pretty heavy!
- Hey, hey, Tyrone!
Oh, shit!
Tyrone! Get us the hell outta here, will you?
Go forward! Go back!
Not backwards! Go forward! Get us outta here!
If I get killed, I'm gonna kick your ass! Jump!
- Jump!
- My hand's caught!
I'm caught! I'm caught, Tyrone!
- I'm gonna die!
- Aw, shit!
Oh, shit! It's too late!
I don't wanna die!
I don't wanna die!
I don't wanna die! Whoo, I don't wanna die!
I knew it was on the other tracks all the time! Just testin' your ass!
Hey, Tyrone. Hey, you were willin' to save my life.
I won't forget it.
You're okay for a white bread. But you still can't be no psychic blood-brother.
You're still too chickenshit. And what you doin' to those boots?
My daddy's boots. He left 'em to me.
Uh, they're a couple of sizes too big.
They slip off if I don't stuff some paper in 'em.
Okay, now, you take us in, but don't be sneakin' no looks at my picture of Irene.
I don't want to have to hurt nobody.
Hey, Baba! You seen Albert or Tyrone?
Yeah, they eloped and moved to Jersey.
- Where's Albert and Tyrone?
- They went to Mass.
Harold, was that a violin?
Holy shit! The violin!
- Good mornin'.
- Just give him the money, Albert.
Yeah. Just give me the money, Albert.
- Stop it or you're dead!
- Albert! Albert!
Albert! Jesus, man!
Albert! See, Tyrone! I ain't no chickenshit!
Be chickenshit, Albert! Now's the time!
All right! Just everybody hold it!
Mr. Rhythm, do you know which cab you found it in?
Of course, I do. It was the yellow one.
I'm gonna shoot you, man! I will!
Yeah, at this speed, you'll die too!
Miss Floyd, I'm comin' in with a gun to my head!
A gun? Shut up about that violin!
Albert's coming in with a gun to his head!
Let's go!
Oh, shit. I'm goin' to nigger heaven. I don't wanna go to nigger heaven.
Damn you! Stop this thing or I'm gonna blow your brains out!
Yeah? Then you got to deal with my friends.
- Give him the gun.
- I don't want the gun!
No, I don't want the gun! I don't want the gun!
All right, motherfucker!
Now, you gonna give back to the United Negro College Fund!
Tyrone, you got him! You got him!
No, wait a minute! Don't shoot him! Don't shoot him!
No! It's him! It's him!
Yo! Hey, it's him!
Hey, get him! What the hell's the matter with you?
Good morning.
And good night.
- Okay, okay, Ophelia.
- And where's my money?
- Okay! Okay!
- Let me hit him. Let me hit him...
Hey, Tyrone. I thought I lost you, brother.
Sure. Two white guys up in front. Nigger in the back with a gun.
- What do you expect?
- Are you okay, Tyrone?
- Now, I am!
- Oh!
Listen. Let me tell you somethin'.
You're lucky those pork chops didn't shoot ya and say you was crazed on P.C.P.
'Cause that's what they always say about everybody they shoot.
And I think they're lacin' the bullets with P.C.P.
That way, they got an alibi for killin' everybody. Now, think about it.
Excuse me. Where's the violin?
- I got a guitar.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Where is it?
- Well, uh, we want to know about our reward.
Yeah. What about the reward?
Whatever the reward is, it's gonna go to Harold,
'cause he's the one who owns whatever cab it was found in, all right?
- All right! Hold it!
- I want my money, man!
All right, hold it! I've made a decision.
Okay, if there is a reward, Myrna and I are gonna share it with everybody.
- Harold!
- Okay.
- All right.
All right. Now, listen! And we can all take our money...
- and go crazy.
- Ahhh!
- Harold!
- I might go crazy too.
But if we do that, we come back, there isn't gonna be a cab company.
'Cause the bank's gonna shut us down, if Bravo doesn't do it first.
So, I'm gonna ask somethin' of you,
that you make an investment in D.C. Cab.
You just want us to give the money back to you?
- But the money's not the main issue, Dell.
- Well, maybe not to you.
Harold, let me ask you something. Are you saying that...
- we'd be like... like partners?
- Yeah.
No! Never!
Come on! Hear me out! Hold it!
Hold it! Hear me out! Listen, guys!
This morning, we went out in the street together...
as a team!
If we could pool our forces,
we... we could pay off the loan.
We could paint the cabs.
Hey, man! We could get airport licenses!
- Yeah, we might be able to make some payoffs like Emerald does.
- I heard that.
- We could get our own jackets.
- Oh, jackets!
I don't want no jacket. The thing is that...
we would share in the profits, and we'd share in the responsibilities.
If I wanted responsibility, I would've a damn sex surrogate!
Yeah! Dig it, man!
Mister. Now, someday, a handsome young man who is not a cabby...
is gonna walk through that door...
carryin' flowers and chocolates and some other gifts.
And he is gonna present himself and ask permission...
to take Claudette out on a respectable date.
Now, until that time,
I want you to think of this place as a convent...
and her as a nun!
Get it? N-O-N-E!
Get out! All right! I want everybody to get out!
Get out! Get out!
I want my goddamn money! Fuck you!
I want my goddamn money!
Hey, it'll be all right, okay?
Uh, I think they're comin' around.
What about you?
You gonna be a part of the new D.C. Cab?
Well, I didn't think my vote counted.
Well, it does now.
My hack license?
Whoo!
Hey, baby! Congratulations!
Welcome to the wonderful world of minimum wages!
Thanks.
- Where to, ma'am?
- Just drive.
You know, you're my first fare.
Just sightseeing?
- Look, lady. Uh...
- Hi, Albert!
Claudette!
Attention, all units. Harold has something to tell you.
Uh, any of you guys who are interested in a $10,000 reward...
be at my house by 9:00 tonight.
Harold!
Whooooo! Whoooo! Whooo!
$10,000! I'm gonna get $10,000!
Get out of my cab! I'm rich!
Get out of my cab! I'm rich! Get out of my cab! I'm fucking rich!
No, Harold! No!
They minute they get ahold of our money, they're gone!
Honey, when they see that we're actually willing to share the money,
they're gonna put it back in the company.
Haven't you ever heard of an act of faith?
Harold, you have faith in God!
You have faith in your country!
You do not have faith in the eight stooges!
Well, I do,
and I think you're gonna be real surprised tonight.
Harold! Please, Harold, don't!
Oh, what a great day, huh?
My first cab, the reward money, and you came to see me.
Mmm! My grandmother...
will never let me go out with a cabdriver.
Mm. Well, she's got no right.
Mm. Until I turn 18 next May,
she's my legal guardian.
Well, we can just stay right here till May.
Mm.
You'll find someone else by then.
Bye, Albert.
Single heart
Looking for another
It's not your money anyway.
Hey, Harold! What the hell's going on?
When I got to the police station,
they sent me over to the hack inspector's,
and when I got there,
Myrna had already been there and picked up the money.
Yeah, so?
She, uh... She put our stuff out in the street.
She says she's gonna keep the house and the money.
She saw this, uh, Marvin Mitchelson on Good Morning, America.
She says she's entitled.
Hey!
Myrna, it's Dell.
I know a little motel down in Spartanburg.
How about you and me, the 10 grand,
a case of Cuervo Gold and my lucky rubber?
I have already placed calls to the police,
the hack inspector, and Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News!
You are vandals, trespassers...
and are trying to gain entrance illegally.
I have given you fair warning.
- Get outta here!
- Grab and run.
- All right? I'm gonna try and talk to her.
- Yeah.
Myrna! Myrna! Myrna!
- Where you all going? You can't...
- I'm getting out of here!
Buddy, you can't leave! What about Harold? What about loyalty?
- His bitch stole our money!
- Hey, relax, Tyrone.
- Get the fuck off me!
- You know, she is his wife and she's legally entitled.
Besides, she had a flamethrower.
- Harold don't owe you anything anyway, Tyrone.
- Albert's right.
This was gonna be my ticket outta here, so just shut up, Albert!
No, you just shut up for once, goddamn it!
Y'all been talking about leaving since the day I walked in here!
Well, you don't need to leave, 'cause you were never here in the first place!
I'm gonna cream you, sucker!
Stop! That's enough! Stop! Albert's only telling the truth!
We the worst company in town and we know it!
Yeah. I mean, get serious, Albert.
You're the only one around here who wants to be a cabdriver.
That's right. You're the only one around here that wants to be a cabdriver.
No, I don't. I wanna own my own cab company, but I gotta start someplace!
- Hey, man, you dreamin'!
- You're the ones dreaming all the time about your big break!
Well, you ever think that your break might be right here, huh?
I got a few bucks put away.
- How much, huh?
- Yeah. $6,063.
- Whoa.
- You need a roommate, Albert?
That's what my daddy left me.
That's a lot of money. Good.
Now, Harold, he put me up here in D.C.
Board and meals. That's quite a bit I owe him.
And y'all taught me whatever you know.
I'm willing to contribute my savings to all you.
I'm sorry I was gonna kick the shit out of you, Albert.
But we do like Harold says.
We become his partners, we pull together,
and we make something at D.C. Cab.
I mean, if you guys...
would just put half the energy into this company that you do trying to get out of here,
we just might make something of ourselves!
I'm with Albert.
You know, this is the first conversation around here ever made any sense.
Yeah, well, I'm not actually due anywhere for a few years.
I'm in, baby. The kid's a man.
- Well, adios, suckers.
- Hey, Tyrone.
Hey. Hey, Tyrone. You stick with us,
and every day you're one step closer to owning that Mercedes.
Nobody makes decisions for me, Albert,
especially white-bread chickenshit.
Hey, hey. Tyrone, come on.
- We're psychic blood brothers, aren't we?
- Never!
All your friends are right here.
- What's outside there for you?
- Fresh air, honky!
Come on. Let's go find Harold.
- Yeah. Come on.
- All right.
Hold it!
I wanna get one thing straight here or I'm walking too.
I don't work on January the 8th,
'cause that's Elvis's birthday.
Uh huh huh, Uh huh huh
All right! Rock and roll, baby!
Uh huh huh huh huh
Uh huh huh
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go, Albert.
Wahoo!
D.C.
On the street under pressure
The city ain't just mean
Makin' a stand against the odds
You can feel the heat
It's make it or break it
Try to survive
Don't ever say never
Keep your dream alive
Around the clock we're gonna rock
To the rhythm of the street up and down the block
Around the clock we're gonna rock
The dreams you hear if the streets could talk
All right, man. Pleasure doing business
with you.
Wanna be somebody be a contender
Gotta reach for the sky
If you want it, fight for it
Or kiss it good-bye
It's make it or break it
Try to survive...
Uh, hold it right there. You are in a lot of trouble, my friend.
I want these guys arrested. I know they don't have airport licenses.
Well, your alacrity has served you ill this time, my liveried adversary.
In your face, Dick Tracy!
- That too.
- Who wins that?
- You told me they didn't have licenses.
- I didn't know about this.
It's make it or break it
Got to try to survive
Don't ever say never
Keep your dreams alive
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, man!
D.C...
Come here. Get in my cab.
- I wanna show you what I bought with my tips.
- All right.
Whoo!
Two-hundred watt amplifier,
six speakers...
and a power booster!
Watch this!
- Whoo!
- Aaah!
Why, baby, why
Why, why, why
Around the clock we're gonna rock
To the rhythm of the street up and down the block
Ma'am.
Here's some flowers, chocolate...
and a book on the finest homes of the South.
Now, I wanna take Claudette out Saturday night.
Have her home by 10:30.
Da dee da day-o day
Da dee da
Da dee da, oh ho...
Around the clock we're gonna rock
To the rhythm of the street up and down the block
Around the block, yeah, we're gonna rock
The dreams you hear if the streets could talk
Around the clock, now, we're gonna rock
To the rhythm of the street up and down the block
Around the clock, yeah, we're gonna rock
You know, me and Miss Floyd had this unspoken thing for a long time.
Then Myrna stepped out of the picture and...
Just keep on truckin', eh, Deke?
I just called you "Deke," didn't I?
Well, let's drink to your dad.
- I wish he were here with us.
- Looks like part of him is.
- The Chinese feast has arrived!
- Hey.
- Wow.
- Good Lord.
- Oh.
- Oh, hey. I... I got it.
I got it. I got it.
- Thanks, Albert.
- Hey, it's nothing.
No, no. No, I'm not talking about dinner.
Thanks.
All right.
Hey! Hey, Mr. Rhythm.
- This is for you.
- Well, I'll be dipped in buttermilk.
What's the good word?
Mr. Rhythm say,
"Remember, that which make you can also break you."
Aw, man. Yo, brother, you wanna buy a pencil man?
Eh, you wanna buy a jug? This is the same jug that Abraham Lincoln used!
One drink and he freed the slaves.
We haven't had a job since!
Yo, my man. Yo. Wanna buy some souvenirs, brother?
- I thought I had a sucker, you know?
- God.
- Yo, miss. You wanna buy a hat?
- Well, well.
What are you, Uncle Sambo, huh?
- What are you doing here?
- Hide this for me, Dell!
- Hey. We're doing great at the cab company.
- Man, I'm doing great here!
You oughta come back with us. You don't look so great to me.
Miss Cara? Miss Cara?
- Look at you. You look like a clown.
- Irene Cara!
Irene Cara! I can't believe it!Irene Cara!
Hey! Tyrone! Hey! Hey!
No more autographs! No more autographs!
No more autographs. I got your cab right here, Miss Cara.
Tyrone Bywater, at your service.
- Do you always dress that way?
- No. Last week I was the Statue of Liberty,
but I couldn't get the crown over the rollers.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Goddamn it!
How is Tyrone doing?
He's doing great, Denise.
Uh, he's working for Uncle Sam.
I saw Tyrone yesterday, Albert.
He is Uncle Sam.
Well, if you see Tyrone, tell him I said, "Hi," okay?
- Okay, I will. See you tomorrow.
- Have a good day.
- Oh, there's my babies.
- Go! Get him!
Oh!
Hey! What the... Hey, who the hell are you?
Come here, Porky!
What in the hell do you think you're doing?
- Just... No.
- Hey!
- Don't!
Come on! Come on!
You gonna drive, hack?
- Ow. Ouch.
- Start it up.
Drive real easy... real easy.
Here. Over here. Get a doctor.
- Get a doctor, quick!
- They got my babies!
Hurry! They got my babies.
Oh, God. They got my...
I can't tell you what this means to me.
I always carry a picture of you in my cab.
Wrong cab!
If you're here in D.C. running for something, I'll vote for you twice.
Oh, I'm singing at the White House Sunday night.
Oh, yeah? Well, tell 'em all hello from me.
Singing at the White House?
Goddamn. I can't believe it. Irene Cara.
Well, here we are, Sheraton Hotel, safe and sound.
But how about me and you just ride around together for a few more weeks?
Listen, how much do I owe you?
It's on me. My pleasure, believe me, Miss Cara.
Oh, well, thanks, Tyrone.
Get over here.
- Albert.
- Uh-huh.
- This your first time being kidnapped?
- Uh-huh.
- It's our third.
- Yeah. Don't worry.
Pick it up.
This is Ambassador Rayburn.
Hi, stud-muffins.
Can you talk, or is the wife around?
Wrong number!
Well, pick it up, stud-muffins!
This is Ambassador Rayburn.
This is Albert Hockenberry.
$2 million in unmarked bills,
tomorrow at midnight.
I'll call back with instructions.
Albert couldn't kidnap anyone.
Wait, wait, wait. Let me ask you something.
Did Albert ever discuss his political convictions?
Albert don't have no political convictions! He's an American!
Shut up, Dell! You're gonna mess everything up!
- Albert didn't do shit!
- His life is in danger...
and you're off on some wild goose chase, for crying out loud!
- What?
- Why did your wife leave you?
What the hell's that got to do with Albert being kidnapped?
Hold it! Somebody's gotta think here, man!
Oswell. Listen, level with me. Whose side is Albert on?
You know, I've had this bunch under surveillance for a long time...
and there's been some new money around here suddenly.
There's new paint jobs and jackets...
certain payoffs around town.
Yeah. Aren't you pissed off you didn't get one?
Hah!
Well, come to think of it, where did all the money come from all of a sudden?
Jesus.
It was from Albert.
There's no reason to shut us down, so why are you doing it?
- You don't have to shut us down!
- This company is closed...
pending further investigation.
- Lock it!
- I got it.
Kidnapped the son and daughter of Ambassador and Mrs. Rayburn this afternoon.
One of them is identified as D.C. Cab driver Albert Hockenberry,
who is probably armed and considered dangerous.
- Police...
- What a giant load of crap!
He's such a baby. How could they say that?
Hey. I know how everybody's feeling here.
- Uh-huh.
- Feeling wild and on the edge, self-destructive.
And I feel like that every day, every minute of my life.
And now that you're all down here on my level,
I got a game I want to share with you.
Take a bottle, and you spin it, like that old kissin' game.
Whoever it points to holds it up by their face...
and they shake it to see if it'll explode.
Shut up, Dell!
I'm trying to help.
Well, well, well.
- The D.C. Cab kidnappers.
- Oh, that's really good.
Stay cool, guys.
You know, I bet your friend's having a good time...
with, uh, those kids... especially that little girl.
I'll kill you!
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
- You better get out of here before you get hurt!
- All right! All right!
We still got that cab with your name on it, Ophelia!
- I'll wait for you outside, baby. All right.
- Get out of here!
- Ophelia ain't going nowhere!
- That's right.
Wait. No. You not going with them.
Hey. I got a kid, remember?
Oh, now, honey, d-don't do this now.
I mean, you come this far.
Th-They're gonna find Albert. They're gonna find the kids.
We're gonna be in business together in a couple of days.
Come on. This is the time we gotta stick together.
- Something's gonna turn up.
- You dreamin' again, Harold.
I mean, why don't you wake up and realize that dreams just ain't for people like us?
I mean, I don't wanna go,
but I ain't go no choice.
Hello.
Well, look over here. If it isn't our Judas...
just in time for the Last Supper.
- Pick up the check?
- I've got some ideas about helping Albert.
Oh, yeah? When did you get religion?
When I realized that if any of us was in Albert's place,
he'd be figuring out a way to help us.
Did you see the paper! We know half the people involved in this kidnapping!
Now, I got a plan, but I need some help.
- Okay. Let's go for it.
- All right. Yeah!
Okay. Come here. Okay, great. All right.
We're gonna split upin two groups, all right?
Now, I got other business to take care of, so we'll meet in three hours at Abe's place.
Abe's place! Hut!
Look here, brothers. I need a favor. Please, I need a cab.
Bend and flush.
What you say?
They took the cabs! Man, they took all the cabs!
Hey, you! You!
You are under arrest! Citizen's arrest!
You are in a lot of trouble, my friend. You stay right there.
Come on, man!
"Bend and flush."
Denise!
Ambassador Rayburn's children were wearing school uniforms... Open the door. It's Ophelia.
Look, uh, I don't know nothin'.
I talked to the police and they told me not to talk to nobody.
Denise, if you don't open this door, I'm gonna whoop you to fried whale shit.
I don't know nothin'! I don't know nothin'!
Plan "B."
Aaah!
I don't know nothin'.
Dr. Gallagher, Dr. Berman, please call the operator.
Dr. Gallagher, Dr. Berman, please call the operator.
How well do you know these two men?
I told you a hundred times, those fools mean nothing to me!
- That one?
- My babies! They got my babies!
- Ed, her lawyers are here.
- My lawyers?
Leibowitz, Lumkin and Lopez.
Just as I suspected. Look at this food.
It isn't fit for Caucasians!
And these sheets. Are they changed every day?
And I don't mean from room to room!
And you, Nurse. Isn't there some life-supporting system you can be unplugging right now?
- Hey!
- Let me tell you, Mr. F.B.I.
This is the kind of scandal the news media loves!
Get me my cousin, Geraldo Rivera, on the line.
Oh. How you doin', Matty?
All they do is keep showing me these photographs they developed from the nun's camera.
Hey. I ran over a nun once.
Hey. This looks like the kidnappers right here.
Does the F.B.I. have any idea where this farm is located, Matty?
They keep asking me if I know.
Hell, this could be Wisconsin or something.
Wisconsin. That's the cheese state, isn't it?
That's right. Leibowitz, Lumkin and Lopez.
Ed, there's a report out on D.C. Cab. They stole two vehicles.
D.C. Cab. That's where I know them!
Dr. Zamuda to maternity.
- They found out!
- Ohhh! Oh, shit!
My babies! Find my babies!
- Eldorado!
- All right, move it! Come on!
- Get going! Hurry up!
- Let's go! Come on! Go!
Hey! Hey! Come on! Let's get 'em!
D.C. Cab! Come on! This is the F.B.I.! Hold it.
- Ohhh! Jesus!
- Whoa! Come on!
Hold it! Don't just stand there! Get after them! Come on!
Least you could do is give the kids a decent meal.
Yeah! We're starving!
- Shut up!
- Shut up!
- Let's get moving. Come on.
- Shit.
Don't worry. I'll get us out of this.
We're not worried.
Harold!
What are you doing here? You have no right here!
Myrna, I know you're entitled to something for all the years we spent together,
but so am I!
I gotta get some money together and get a lawyer for Albert, so get out of my way.
- No. Where you going? No, no. Harold!
- Get out of my way!
No! Don't go up there! Harold, don't come in here. Don't come in here!
Where's my flamethrower?
What do you need the flamethrower for?
Where's my flamethrower?
In the basement! Why?
- Get away from the door, Myrna.
- Harold, don't. I'm gonna call the police.
You're gonna be on the news like that man who barricaded himself with his bazooka!
Ernesto, he has the flamethrower!
Police!
Get a few bucks for this two.
Uh, Ernesto, that door sticks. Let me give you a hand with it, all right.
Aaah!
You know what your problem is, Bravo?
You're so short, your brain is just too close to your asshole!
Holy Jes... W-Wait! Myrna! Jesus! Oh!
Ayyy!
Oh!
Myrna, you shouldn't have done it,
but I'm real glad you did!
Good-bye!
Ernesto!
Oh, Jesus.
Don't worry, kids. I'm almost out of this.
- Yea, Albert!
- Yea! All right!
- Way to go!
- Shh! Shh. Shh.
Where we going, Albert?
We're not going anywhere. I'm gonna go try and find my cab.
- My fault? You quit your blaming me for stuff!
- Shut up!
You should never have been in this thing in the first place.
Ow! Shit.
Miss Floyd, can you...
Miss Floyd, can you hear me?
Miss Floyd, can you read me?
Hey, it's Albert. Somebody answer me, okay?
It's Albert. Somebody... Somebody answer me, please!
Hey, D.C. Cab! It's Albert!
Somebody! Miss Floyd! Harold!
Somebody answer me!
It's Albert! Help!
It's Albert! Come on, come on! Isn't there anybody out there?
Where the hell is everybody?
Come on! Come on!
Hold it. All right, hold it! Hold it here! What happened?
What happened? Quiet!
- What happened?
- Denise don't know nothin'.
- We ditched the cab.
- All right. Good going. Here's the deal.
We got these pictures here, all right? There's a picture of a farmhouse,
but it could be any farmhouse anywhere.
- A nun took 'em! A nun took these.
- But, anyway,
we don't know that they've got Albert and the kids.
- Well, this is all we got!
- That's right.
You just hang on, Albert! Hang on!
I'm going to Abe's place and get Harold.
Hang on!
Mr. Rhythm, listen to me. Listen to me.
Uh, there's a farmhouse and a... and a windmill.
There's a million farmhouses and a million windmills too!
Yeah, well, we're, uh...
I hear airplanes. We're south of the airport somewhere.
Wait a minute. Maybe I'd better get a pencil and paper.
Hey. Uh, I see it!
I see something. I see something. It's, uh...
It's, uh, Bruce Lee.
- What?
- It's Bruce Lee! It's Bruce Lee.
I'm almost at Abe's place where Harold is. Just hang on!
Come on, car!
Wait, wait, wait. I gotta get back to the kids.
I got Albert! I got Albert!
I got Albert! I got Albert on the squawk box! I got him! I got him!
Come on! Come on! He's on the squawk box!
Albert! Albert it's Harold. Albert, it's Harold!
Albert, it's...
- It's dead, Mr. Rhythm.
- No! It can't be! I just talked to him!
Albert! Albert! This is Mr. Rhythm!
Come on in! Man. Okay. That's all right.
That's all right. It doesn't matter, because... because I got it.
- He told me.
- Yeah?
Okay. This is what he said. Albert said...
that he's at a farm and it's at the airport...
and there's a windmill.
And the important thing is...
that he's with Bruce Lee.
Bruce Lee?
Wait, wait. Wait a minute.
You sure he said "Bruce Lee"? He's dead, you know.
- Uh-huh. He said Bruce Lee.
- That kung fu guy?
Hey, you know, Bruce Lee, he ain't dead.
They got him cryptonized down in Chatsworth.
He's jammed in a silo and he's frozen hard as a carp.
And they're gonna melt him down as soon as the economy gets better.
- Thanks, Dell.
- Hey, man,
now that we know the farmhouse is close to the airport, let's go!
Come on! Come on!
Where? Where are you going?
- There's gotta be a hundred farms near the airport.
- Yeah.
- Samson, we should call the cops.
- We are in enough trouble already.
Don't be stupid. You know if the cops find Albert before we do,
they're gonna shoot him and ask questions later.
Yeah, but wait a minute. Wait a minute. Just wait a minute.
We don't even know where Albert is.
I mean trying to find him is one thing,
but trying to rescue him is something else entirely.
And if we could find him, there'd be guns and kidnappers and guns.
Wait a minute! We better think about this before we do something.
I'm sorry, brother. I don't have a minute,
so you can do what you wanna do.
But I owe Albert, for helping me find the things I never had before,
like pride and dignity.
So I'm going out there after them,
because the least I can find is my self-respect...
and the most I can find is Albert and them kids.
I don't know about you, but I like what I became these past few weeks,
and I ain't never going back to being what I was before.
Never!
His truth
Is marching on
Mine eyes have seen the glory.
- All right then. Let's go.
- Hallelujah!
There are seven Lee's out by the airport, but no Bruce.
- There is a Ruth.
- We gotta check 'em all, guys.
All right. There's a "Spruce Tree Lane..."
and a "Moose Knee Landing."
- Moose Knee Landing?
- I said that. It's on my map.
Okay. We'll take Moose Knee Landing.
No! He said "Bruce Lee"!
I told you, Bruce Lee was frozen.
Everything's gonna be all right. I got a message through. Help's on the way.
You're not scared are you?
We weren't up till now.
But these guys don't know what they're doing.
Hey, man, look! The windmill. This is it. This is it.
This is the place. It's the farmhouse.
I think we found him, man. Come on.
- Look at the mailbox, man. It's Bruce "Lee"!
- But that says Bruce "Leg."
I told you fools to stay in school. Now, keep it down.
Shh. Shh. Shh.
Oh.
Sorry, ma'am. Wrong house.
Okay. This is Harold. Listen up. Everybody report in. Let's start with Tyrone.
I don't even know where the hell I am.
All right. Uh, Baba.
Well, we had a Spruce Tree thing, but I think it got washed away.
Okay, uh, Bongo?
We checked all streets to the airport. Nothing.
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
Albert was right! It is Bruce Lee!
It is Bruce Lee! Albert was right!
I found that karate motherfucker!
Get down! Get on down from there!
- Get on down from there!
- Tyrone!
Get down! Get down, you idiot!
Get down! Get down from there!
Ah, see? Ah, see? I told you! It's Bruce Lee!
I told you it was Bruce Lee!
I see it! I see the windmill!
I see it, Harold! I see the windmill!
I see it! Aaah! I see it!
- All right, everybody.
- Get them son of a bitches, Bruce!
Deck 'em! Deck 'em!
What the hell's the matter with you?
Why are women so uptight? They got have the money and all the pussy!
All right, let's go!
- We gotta move outta here now!
- But we haven't called about the ransom yet!
- Will you shut up about the stupid ransom?
- Who the hell you talking to?
- I'm talking to you!
- Shut up!
We're moving, and we're moving now.
- This is the police!
- Shit!
- There must be a hundred cops out there!
- Get back in. Get back.
I ain't dying here, man. I'll give myself up first.
This is the police. We've got you surrounded.
Send the kids out... slow.
And Albert!
And Albert Hockenberry. Send them out.
- Okay. What do I say now?
- Tell them you're Batman.
No!
You better come out now, you scumbags!
Cops don't talk like that.
They do to me!
Do you hear us?
I say we kill these fuckers, huh?
Yeah. Then we'll go down fighting.
- You are a pitiful bitch.
- Oh, you...
Okay, pigs!
Now, listen! We'll give 'em up after you let us go!
- I don't trust 'em.
- I don't either.
- You can't trust 'em.
- With those two little kids in there?
- We got no choice.
- Okay?
- Okay!
Go. Come on.
All right. Stay behind the cabs. Don't get shot.
- Move your feet!
- All right just... just hold your fire, men!
- Okay. Okay.
- Kid!
Okay. Now, you can let them go!
We'll let 'em go when we get out of here!
Get the van! Get the van!
Let 'em go! Damn it!
Tyrone! Tyrone! Shit.
Gimme those kids!
You're not a cop! They're cabdrivers!
- What?
- Cab drivers!
Aaah!
Gotcha! I got ya!
Bring 'em over! Bring 'em over!
What are you doing?
Aaah!
Move over, girl! Move over.
Get in there, goddamn it!
- Drive, Dickey!
- Go! Go, baby!
Hey, man! Hey, man, they got Albert!
- Go get him! We'll get him! Come on!
- They got Albert!
Come on. Drive, Dickey! Get us out of here, man!
- Holy shit. They're following us.
- Oh!
- Come on!
- Give it the gas, man!
- Geez.
- All right. Drill 'em, Dell!
- Come on!
- Here we go.
- Drill 'em, Dell!
- Oh!
Very nice!
Go, go! Come on! Let's get 'em!
This machine won't go any faster.
I'll take you in close. All right, baby. Get 'em!
Do it, baby. Do some damage, baby!
Aaah!
Hey, wait a minute, man!
Whoo! Whoo!
- Aaah!
- Drive, Dickey! Don't listen to them!
- Okay. You got it.
- Got what?
Hey! Give a person a little warning when you do that next time, would you, please?
- Move over, Tyrone! Get out of my way!
- Wait!
Let me get 'em! I'll get 'em! Get 'em!
I'm gonna get 'em!
Let me get 'em!
I can't wait! Come on!
Hit the bitch! Hit the bitch! Jack-smack that motherfucker!
Yahoo! Come on! Come on! Come one!
Jesus fucking Christ!
Go to the... Move to the right! Dance them off!
Why don't you pick on somebody else?
You outta you min... Wait a minute. Hold this for me.
Oh, sure. Priorities. Yeah.
Let's get 'em! Let's get 'em!
Get that bitch, goddamn it! I can't drive and die too!
Ow!
Yee-haw-haw-haw!
Oh, Albert!
Come on! We gonna save you, Albert!
Get off of me, bitch!
Albert, tell me one thing! Tell me you're wearing your daddy's boots!
- What?
- Tell me you're wearing your daddy's boots!
- I am!
- Hold him!
They got him! Ah! They got him!
Yee-haw-haw-haw!
They got him! Aaah!
Whoaaaa!
Aaah!
I've been chasing dreams
For so long
Just one step at a time
And then they're gone
Illusions of love
Would come and go
I guess you have to hurt
Before you grow
And everybody knows
D.C. Cab, D.C. Cab
D.C. Cab, D.C. Cab
Never let go of the
Never let go of the
Dream
The dream
I always seem to lose what, I thought was mine
And many times, I tried to leave it behind
But deep inside hope was still alive
Deep inside dreams will never die
That is why, we're moving closer to the truth
It's really great for me to be here
I won over the pain and the fear
It's been so very hard through the years
Been looking through a rainbow of tears
And still I never really
Let go of the dream
Sometimes I saw my life just falling apart
And all the rejection tearing at my heart
But deep inside hope was still alive
Deep inside, Dreams will never die
If you try, there'll be so much more for you
It's really great for me to be here
I won over the pain and the fear
It's been so very hard through the years
Been looking through a rainbow of tears
And still I never really
Let go of the dream
We can all be free, We hold the key
If we could see what we wanna be
Life's never easy, You get no guarantees
Why not give your all
And see what you can find
It's really great for me to be here
I won over the pain and the fear
It's been so very hard through the years
Been looking through a rainbow of tears
And still I never really
Let go of the dream
It's really great for me to be here
I won over the pain and the fear
It's been so very hard through the years
Been looking through a rainbow of tears
And still I never really
Let go of the dream
We can all be free, We hold the key
If we can see what we wanna be
Life's never easy you get no guarantees
Why not give your all and see what you can find
It's really great for me to be here
I won over the pain and the fear
It's been so very hard through the years
Been looking through a rainbow of tears
And still I never really
Let go of the dream
It's really great for me to be here
I won over the pain and the fear
It's been so very hard through the years
Been looking through a rainbow of tears
And still I never really
Let go of the dream
Where to?
I am the Angel of Death. Take me to hell.
Got any luggage?