Duets (2000) Movie Script
[Woman]
Whoo!
Oww!
[Off-key]
I'd fall down on my knees
Kiss the ground
that you walk on, baby
If I could just hold you
[Woman]
Whoo!
Again
- [Whistling]
- Whoa, yeah
lf I could
just hold you
- Baby, you can hold me!
- If I could just hold you again, baby.
Thank you!
All right, Tulsa,
RonnyJackson!
Let's take a short break, and then
I'll be right back with our next singer.
[Country]
Yeah!
Way to go, Ronny.
Looks like you're on your way to Omaha.
I didn't give it
a second thought.
How about a beer, Earl?
- Your usual?
- Please.
Glass of Chardonnay
for Beth.
[Man Laughs]
What, I say
something funny?
No. I mean, sort of.
You people do this
every night?
- "You people"?
- What do they call it anyway,
"karate-okee"?
No. That's karaoke.
- It's a way of life.
- [Chuckles] Some life.
- Can I have another seven-and-seven?
- You bet it is.
Talent like Ronny's brings in about
a thousand bucks a month, mister.
And that's on top of what I make
at the meat plant.
- For amateur singing.
- [Beth] Nothing amateur about it.
A hundred bucks up tonight,
and winning automatically qualifes...
for the grand prize
over in Omaha.
And you, mister,
are looking at the winner.
Hey, from what
I've seen tonight,
I don't see how you can lose.
[Laughs]
Maybe you'd like to pass through
our little contest here, huh?
I don't have the right costume.
[Giggles]
You don't have the voice.
I beg your pardon.
I'll have you know I was in the choir
all three years of high school.
- So sing.
- For a hundred bucks?
You gotta be kidding.
It's not even worth it.
Really? Well, why don't I
sweeten the pot a little bit?
How much you got
in your pockets?
All right.
What the hell.
Might be fun.
Let's see.
Six hundred
and ninety bucks.
Okay.
[Clears Throat]
- You're covered.
- So what are you gonna sing?
- Hell, I don't know. Whatcha got?
- Show him the menu.
- "Joe Cocker."
- Joe Cocker.
All right.
You be the bank.
- Oh, come on, guys.
- Earl, just hold the money.
- Got it? All right? Got it?
- All right. All right.
[Piano: Rock]
[Feedback]
[Chattering]
Seems I got to have
a change of scene
Every night I have
Strangest dream
- He's good!
- Imprisoned by the way
It could have been
Left here on my own
or so it seems
I got to leave before I
start to scream
Oh, someone
locked the door
And took the key
Hey, feelin' alright
Uh-huh
I'm not feelin'
too good myself
- Uh-huh
- Yes, sir
Feelin'alright
Uh-huh
- I'm not feelin'
too good myself, no
- Uh-huh
Boy, you sure took me
For one big ride
Even now I sit
and I wonder why
That when I think of you
I start myself to cry
Can't just waste my time
I must get by
Gotta stop believin'
in all your lies
Oh, there's too much to do
before I die, hey
Feelin'alright
Uh-huh
I'm not feelin'
too good myself, no
- Uh-huh
- Yes, sir
Feelin' alright
Uh ho
Whoo!
I'm feelin' alright
- Uh-huh
- [Cell Phone Ringing]
[Ringing Continues]
Hello.
Yeah, this is Ricky Dean.
What?
- Oh, shit.
- Honey, you okay?
When?
Oh, shit.
Uh, where?
Um, I-I don't know.
No, no, I understand.
It's just that...
No, no, no.
I understand.
Hang on a second.
Where am I?
- Tulsa.
- They got a direct flight to Vegas?
Oh, yeah, sure.
They got a regular shuttle.
Uh, I-I can't make it
till tomorrow night.
All right.
- What happened?
- Nothing.
Somebody died.
Of course, not as cold
across Texas...
in comparison
to parts of Montana.
It's all relative, though.
[Continues, Indistinct]
[Alarm Buzzing]
[Buzzing Stops]
Keep that in mind if you're traveling
anywhere from Aspen...
over to, uh,
the Denver-Fort Collins area.
Winter weather.
Blowing snow also.
You could have very light snow
with an overcast sky,
the wind starts blowing around
even when it's light.
That means very poor visibility.
Be prepared for that.
- It's gonna be a cold night.
- [Clattering]
[Airplane Approaching]
I'm sorry, everybody. My plane
was delayed. We rerouted to Atlanta.
- I'm very sorry.
- That's why they invented
airport hotels.
- Right, guys?
- Correct. Right.
- Coffee?
- Yes, thank you very much.
That'd be great.
I've been on the go
since Monday.
I'm telling you, I hardly had time
to eat the peanuts on the airplane.
Okay. I know
I've held you guys up,
and I've got another flight
at 11:00,
so I'll cut
right to the chase.
Our development guys love
the growth rate in this area.
And the marketing people are incredibly
pumped about labor costs, real estate,
all the potential spin-offs
into the ancillary service areas.
- Is that mine? Why, thank you.
- You betcha.
So, we would like to bring
some of our folks down here...
to look at possible construction sites,
talk about labor costs,
the work pool.
Now we're gonna need your help
with environmental groups,
Iocal zoning boards,
state-level lobby types, et cetera.
Something wrong?
No. It's just, uh...
[Chuckles]
I-I-I'm not sure what
you're talking about.
The park.
The theme park. Uh, Pilgrim Village,
U.S.A. [Chuckles]
This is the Poultry Retailers
Association meeting.
[Laughs]
Oh, gosh. Uh, well, then I must
be in the wrong room.
Wow. I'm... very sorry, guys.
I was just in such a hurry.
- Hey, shit happens.
- Yeah, yeah.
Anyway... Thank you.
Thanks for the coffee.
Thanks. Um...
Does anybody know where
the Everglades conference suite is?
Everglades?
This is Houston.
Oh, God.
I thought
I was in Orlando.
Hi. You called a cab?
Why do we
always get you?
[Laughs]
Um, I don't know.
I'll tell you why.
'Cause nobody else
will take these jobs.
Released criminals are not notorious
for heavy tipping, are they?
Ten bucks,
flat rate.
What do you keep
lookin' at, kid?
- Nothing. I wasn't looking at anything.
- Don't give me, " Nothing."
I know who you are,
and you know me.
- You're Miss Gahagan, aren't you?
- Right.
Miss Gahagan, your wonderful, caring,
nurturing third grade teacher...
of the Chatsworth Avenue School.
Look at me, kid.
You're Billy Hannon, right?
- Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am, I am.
- I remember you.
You were one of
my biggest underachievers.
[Snickers]
How come you're driving a cab?
Actually, this is my own cab.
I own it.
Well, I own half.
- You own half a cab? Wow.
- Yes.
I'll bet Donald Trump is
lookin' over his shoulder.
You're just bustin'to know
what I was cracked for.
- No, I really... No, I really don't.
- Shoplifting.
They caught me
at the Grand Union...
with a pound of smoked turkey
and two pairs of pantyhose in my crotch.
The bird had one of those, uh...
Goddamn. What do they call it?
Metal things in it,
set off the detector.
Detectors in food stores.
What a society.
And I don't even want to think
of the number of infants...
who swallowed those things
and are choking to death on them.
[Sighs]
What a world.
- Eat a bite of turkey,
you go straight to hell.
- Right.
Yeah, I guess it's hard to make
ends meet in the retirement sector.
Oh, I do okay. I just steal stuff
to fuck with people.
- You ever steal anything, Billy?
- No, ma'am, I wouldn't do that.
No, no, of course.
You're a basic underachiever.
As always, too scared
of getting caught and judged.
You were more, uh,
the mystical sort.
You were going to be
a priest, if I recall.
Didn't you graduate
from Loyola?
No, no. It just, uh...
It just wasn't my destiny.
Destiny? [Laughs]
What a crock of shit!
[Continues Laughing]
Miss Gahagan,
why don't you take this?
You need this
more than I do.
And listen to me
for a second, okay?
I am not an underachiever.
I'm not.
I am just trying to achieve something
different than most people I know.
Oh, and what is that?
- Harmony.
- [Laughs]
You're a riot, Billy.
You're kind of pathetic,
but you're a riot.
Let me give you
some advice, Father.
The world is a sewer,
and we're all livin' in hell.
The sooner you can accept that,
the sooner you'll be able
to get on with your life.
So long.
[Newscaster On TV] It's not often we
can show you tape of a police chase...
that goes through
two countries.
Our Cindy LaVargas has it.
- [TVContinues, Indistinct]
- Hey!
- Hey.
- Billy.
What are you...
What are you doing here?
I took off early. There's a lecture
on Zen Buddhism tonight at the "Y."
Man, the saddest thing
happened to me today.
I got a call to go
to the police station...
Are you watching this? 'Cause I can
hardly hear with this thing.
- Yeah, um...
- [Man Vocalizing, Water Running]
Billy, um, um...
[Man Continues Singing]
Ooh.
God, I'm so... Billy.
I'm so sorry.
I don't...
I don't even know
how it happened.
I just, um... Billy?
I don't... Oh!
- Ralph?
- Christ. Billy...
- Oh, God.
- Billy, please. Don't get crazy.
- My own partner!
- Billy, no, please! Don't go!
[Video Game Beeping]
Hello.
[Chuckles]
Hey, Julie.
Sweetheart?
- Hey, Carson. I'm home, son.
- [Beeping Continues]
- Missed ya.
- [Gunshots]
Thought I was in Florida,
and I was in Texas.
Uh, can you
imagine that?
Now I come home and my own kids
can't even say hello to me.
Jeez, wouldn't it be nice if once when
I come home, someone says hello to me?
Sure.
But just because you come home,
you can't expect everyone...
to just drop what they're doing
and give you their undivided attention.
Well...
[Computer Chiming]
You know what I did for
the last 18 months, Candy?
Hmm?
I racked up over 200,000
frequent flier miles,
jamming a bogus
Pirates of the Caribbean village...
down some zoning board's throat
in Shell Island, South Carolina.
Took one of the last remaining pristine
beaches on the eastern seaboard,
and I turned it into Toonville...
with fast food.
[Chuckles]
- Not to mention the turtles.
- Turtles?
- [Computer Chimes]
- Yeah.
Goddamn Shell Island
sea turtles.
Oldest living amphibians
in North America.
But now extinct. Pffft!
Thanks to me.
Why? Because we needed their
breeding grounds for a water slide.
[Computer Chimes]
But didn't you want
their breeding ground?
Yes.
- No.
- Honey, could you...
I'm... I'm on-line here.
Okay?
[Keyboard Clicking,
Computer Chiming]
Where you going?
Sorry, Candy, but I'm going out
for a pack of cigarettes.
But you don't smoke!
[Organ Playing]
What are you doing?
Just trying to fx her hair.
It's sort of stiff.
They've got her
dipped in hair spray.
Hear that?
Poor Donna.
You knew her well?
Real well. Did you?
Not really.
I guess not.
I would've heard about you.
- You live here in Vegas?
- Mm-hmm.
Let me guess.
Keno girl?
Hey, buddy,
I worked right alongside Donna
here at the front line of the Dunes.
I'm about as close as you get
to an aristocrat in this town.
You okay?
Grieving.
Yeah, I can smell it
on your breath.
You must have
really loved her.
[Sighs]
Yeah.
I didn't want her
to get an aneurysm.
She's the only friend
I've ever had.
Me, too, I guess.
That was
a long time ago.
Could you just, like,
hold onto me for a little while?
[Sighs]
Oh, Donna would've been
so happy...
- to see you two like this.
- Hi, Grandma.
I don't want to interrupt
if you two are bonding.
Do you know him?
Why, of course I know him.
He's your father.
[Grandma] Where does your mother
keep the mayonnaise, dear?
She didn't believe
in mayonnaise.
She didn't believe
in mayonnaise?
She didn't believe in food
that required electricity.
Oh, look, see? There I am in
third grade. That was my birthday party.
And you sent me this,
remember?
Uh, yeah, uh, I think so.
I'm still wearing it.
[Chuckles]
You know, I don't understand what
mayonnaise has to do with electricity.
Well, you've got
to refrigerate it.
See, they cut off our power
so many times over the years...
that she just went with
the pure preservatives.
Hey, look under the microwave,
in that drawer.
There's a bunch of packs of shit
from Burger King and stuff.
You got it for me
in Springfeld, Missouri,
and you sent it from
the airport in St. Louis.
See? Look.
It's got a B-E over F-R-I.
Yeah, I see that.
Do you still have
the other half?
Oh, I don't know.
You know, maybe somewhere.
Well, that's okay.
It always just kind of gave me hope.
It's kind of what passes
for a tradition in our family.
It was the last year
you sent a present.
Well, I prefer mayonnaise,
but at least this is Paul Newman's Own.
I just love Paul Newman,
don't you?
I must've rented Sweet Bird of Youth
a hundred times.
So, where are you
living now, Ricky?
Um, nowhere. I mean, you know,
I travel pretty much all the time.
The gypsy life.
I love it.
I lived it myself
when I was a chorus girl.
But when Mr. Sinatra
got me my job at the Dunes,
the roots began to sprout.
A dynasty was born.
First Donna. Then Liv.
Hey, you're not eating.
Just when I thought my whole life
was falling apart.
He's like a sign from heaven,
isn't he, Grandma?
Sure is.
Well, I gotta be in Kansas City
early tomorrow morning for a show.
What?
You're leaving?
- He's leaving, Grandma?
- It's okay, honey.
Maybe Liv could keep you company
in Kansas City.
- Really?
- Um, w-well...
Oh, I'm so excited
I gotta pee!
- Where's she going?
- Next door.
There's always something wrong
with the septic tank.
Look, what are you
talking about?
Listen, you no-good
son of a bitch.
You knock up my daughter
like she's some bitch in heat,
and then you disappear without
so much as a backward glance.
Well, it's time to pay up.
Um, well, I mean, I was gonna
give you something.
You know, for the funeral
and all and, well...
I'm not talking about money,
but I'll take it.
Now, you better listen.
That girl is not gonna lose a mother
and a father in the same week.
Oh, come on!
You can't be serious!
She's got a life here.
I mean, she's got a job.
- She's an adult, for Christ's sake.
- Just listen to me.
I don't give a damn
whether you stay or go,
but not until that sweet child manages
to turn her life back around.
She's a special girl.
You may not be much,
but you and I are all she has,
and what she needs now is a father.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- [Sliding Door Opens]
- [Clears Throat]
- Good evening, sir.
- Good evening. I would
like a room. Thank you.
- Of course.
Could you fll this out,
and may I have a credit card?
Ahh. Got something better
than a credit card.
I have got over 800,000
frequent flier miles.
I've been wanting to take advantage
of your room credit offer for years.
I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have
any mileage credit rooms
available this evening.
Oh, you don't have
any vacancies?
Yes, we do, but not for
the mileage credit program.
Uh, if you'd like to reserve
a room now for credit,
the earliest
I have available is in...
six weeks.
I would like a room
tonight.
We take MasterCard,
Visa or AMEX.
[Rock]
[Woman] You're a real tough cookie
with a long history
Of breaking little hearts
like the one in me
Before I put another notch
in my lipstick case
You better make sure
you put me in my place
Hit me with your best shot
Come on
Hit me with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away
Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me
with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away
Fire away
- Ba ba ba baow
- [Cheering, Whistling]
Hey, excuse me.
You are a great singer.
Aw! Karaoke's my life.
Oh.
What is karaoke?
What?
Where you been, mister?
Uh, airport hotel rooms.
- Oh.
- Suburbia.
- Mental jail.
- Ah! Well, they don't
got it in jail yet,
but they got it in every bar
I ever been in.
And it's what,
exactly?
Oh, it's a rush
like you wouldn't believe.
It's like you get to be a star
for three minutes!
Ow! [Laughs]
Can you sing?
I mean, up there in front of people?
Oh, well, I used to, actually.
A little bit.
- Yeah? Well, what happened?
- A long time ago.
I don't know.
I guess I went into sales.
Oh. Well, are you in sales
at the moment?
[Laughs]
Oh, no.
Actually, I'm out getting
a pack of cigarettes.
Yeah. I don't know
where I am, actually.
- Uh, I'm somewhere
in Arizona or something.
- Arizona?
- [Laughing]
- Right?
- Are you crazy?
You're in New Mexico.
- Oh.
Close enough.
They're right next to each other.
[Both Laughing]
Well, why don't you
go ahead and go sing?
- No. No!
- Yeah.
- Oh, come on! It won't kill you!
- No way. No.
- I'd be way too nervous.
- Ah! Okay.
Here. Take one of these.
Just one. Go ahead.
Go on. Beta blockers.
They chase all your fears away.
Come on.
Drink up. Taffy!
- Good boy.
- Sheila!
- What can I do for you?
- Can you do me a little favor?
- My friend here is desperate to sing.
- Oh, no.
- Are you sure?
- No, no, thank you. No, I couldn't.
- Oh, come on!
- I couldn't. No.
They're not workin' yet.
- Uhhh!
- Mm-hmm.
- Go! You can do it!
- Okay! What the hell!
[Laughs]
All right! What's your name?
- Todd. Yeah.
- Don't be afraid. Come on up.
Whoa, whoa.
What am I supposed to sing?
I'm gonna put a song on.
Watch the monitor and sing.
Everyone, a warm welcome
for Todd.
He's a little nervous.
[Applause]
[Man]
Come on, brother! Sing your song!
- Hello, it's me
- [Groaning, Laughing]
- Hello, it's me
- [Music Stops]
I'm sorry, honey.
You started a little too soon.
- You wait till the colors change.
We'll try it again.
- Okay.
Hello, it's me
I've thought about us
for a long, long time
Maybe I think too much
but something's wrong
- There's something here
that doesn't last too long
- [Girls Giggling]
Maybe I shouldn't think
of you as mine
- [Woman] Yeah!
- [Man Hoots]
[Cheering]
Seein' you
Or seeing anything
as much as I do you
I take for granted
that you're always there
I take for granted
that you just don't care
- Sometimes I can't help
seein' all the way through
- [Cheering]
- Yeah!
- [Cheering Continues]
Whoo! Yeah!
It's important to me
That you know
you are free
- 'Cause I never wanna
- Hey, Taffy.
- Make you change for me
- He's so cute, isn't he?
Yeah, he is.
Think of me
You
You know that I'd
be with you if I could
I'll come around to see you
once in a while
Or if I ever need
a reason to smile
And spend the night
if you think I should
- Hey, lady, can you help me out?
- Hey. Oh, no.
I spent my last money
on that bus.
Maybe you can help me out.
They got a karaoke bar around here?
Oh, I wouldn't know.
I guess you wouldn't,
would you?
Anyway...
- Hey!
- God bless you, sir. Have a nice day.
Hey, lady,
come back!
- [Rock]
- Hey, hey, ah
What I like about you
What... What I like
about you
That's what I like
That's what I like
- [Coughing]
- [Continues]
Here you go.
Billy!
Been to every bar in town.
Me too.
I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
So what do you want
from me?
Look, you're the greatest guy
I have ever met.
You're the frst man
that I had sex with.
You know, after ten years
of being with women.
And the sex was great.
You were so tender,
and you were so sweet.
It was almost like...
being with a girl.
Seriously.
Hey, what's the purse
in this shithole?
- Where's the K.J.?
- The K.J.?
- We're talking here.
- Whatever.
Hey. You got money up on the karaoke,
or is this some kind of shadow hang?
Not today.
Strictly barbers and phantoms.
- Aw, shit!
- No! You just don't have
enough faith in yourself.
Don't start the cheerleader act,
okay? I'm sick of it!
You're like some totally pure,
totally innocent person.
Most of us
can't be like you.
Or I know I can't.
[Man Singing,
Indistinct]
To you and Ralph.
You're not even
listening to me.
I told you!
- He's repulsive.
- Then why?
I don't know.
I guess he...
[Sighs]
I guess 'cause
he treats me like shit.
- Ha!
- That's what I like about you
Sorry.
Hey
Listen, there's one other thing
I gotta...
Ralph's worried
about the vehicle.
His half-a-vehicle. Ralph is worried
about his half-a-vehicle.
Said he'll call the cops if you don't
bring that cab in. He means it too.
He said it like 40 times.
At least.
Well, he's gonna have to do
what he's gonna have to do.
Okay, Billy.
You do what you gotta do,
you know?
- I-I'm really sorry about...
everything, really.
- Hey, hey, hey
[Applause, Whistling]
I hope you fnd that angel
you're looking for someday.
[Clears Throat]
So, you own a cab?
- I own half a cab.
- How does someone own half a cab?
Well, that's about as far as
your basic underachiever gets in life.
- Didn't you know that?
- No. I'm an achiever, myself.
Good for you.
So, are you free?
- Free for what?
- I need a ride.
- Where you goin'?
- California.
- [Laughs]
- I don't have any money,
but I'd be willing
to be nice to you.
Real nice. All the way
to the Sunshine State.
- Florida is the Sunshine State.
- Whatever.
I need to get to California,
and I'm willing to be nice.
What are you
normally?
Okay, fne!
That's what I get for talking
to your basic underachiever.
Which way is
the interstate, exactly?
About two miles west.
- What are you gonna do?
- Hitch.
Hey, um,
which way's west,
exactly?
Is that it?
A few miles up the road
is the Side Track.
It's a truck stop
It's where you get off.
Well, I appreciate
the ride this far.
It might take you some time
to get another ride,
this being Utah
and you being colored and all.
Them shoes you're wearing
don't help any.
Uh, I'm not sure I quite
understand what you mean.
Them's prison shoes.
Standard issue when they drum you out.
Worn a pair or two myself.
Yes, I'm sure you have.
- What were you in for?
- An error in judgment.
[Laughing]
Hey, babe, we was all in for an
error in judgment. [Laughs]
Yeah, I suppose we were.
Some say the world
will end in fre.
Some say in ice.
What do you think?
Heh. Hard to say,
Cold War bein' over and all.
Your money or your life.
Get the fuck out.
I apologize. I do.
It's just that
the only skill I have is singing.
Learn a trade.
I have.
This is it.
[Rock]
I'm on a Mexican radio
I'm on a Mexican
Whoa, radio
[Humming]
- [Tires Screeching]
- [Continues]
[Tires Screeching]
Hello!
Hop in.
- [Continues]
- Come on, come on, come on. Hop in.
- Where you going?
- I don't know.
What the fuck
do you care?
- Hop in.
- Your eyes are weird.
- You on something?
- 'Scuse me?
- You look funky.
- Are you a cop?
- No.
- Okay, then shit or get off the pot.
Where you going?
Chicago.
Where you going?
Nowhere. I'm actually out
buying a pack of cigarettes.
[Laughing]
What's in Chicago?
My mother's in Chicago.
Oh. Okay.
Well, they probably got
cigarettes there. Hop in.
Reach in that cooler back there.
Pop us a couple of cervezas, por favor.
I tried those Styrofoam jobbies
the last three times.
You think it's cost-effcient?
It is not.
[Clicks Tongue]
Ah. There you go.
Gracias.
- You're not having one?
- No, thank you. It's against the law.
- You should loosen up, my friend.
- You think so?
Mmm. Hell yes.
You know, in fact,
this whole country should loosen up.
It's not even a country
anymore anyway.
It's just
a big strip mall.
McDonalds, Pizza Huts,
Wendys.
Big strip mall
from coast to coast.
- [Sniffs]
- You're on cocaine?
I have a cold.
- You're flyin'on something.
- I'm flying on freedom.
[Squeals]
I scored some bennies off some
shadow in this K-bar last night.
- I think it was Tucumcari.
- Shadow?
Yeah. It's K-talk.
It's karaoke.
Uh, I may need you
to drive later on.
I don't know how.
- You don't know how to drive?
- No, I don't know how to drive.
How bizarre!
Is this a result of heredity?
Environment.
I've lived my life in tiny rooms.
So have I, man.
All owned by
major chains.
- Chains?
- Ramada, Sheraton, Motel 6. Chains.
Huh. I'm no stranger
to chains myself.
Well, now, aren't we lucky
that we met?
[Laughing]
[Knock On Door]
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
I decided to come.
I got the room next door.
Just like that?
How'd you fnd me?
Information.
I only had to call three hotels
before I found you.
Wow! Do you always
get a king-size bed?
- Huh? Uh, yeah.
- I love a king-size bed.
The only time I ever get to
sleep in one is if I'm with one
of the headliners from the show.
- Look, um, Liv...
- Tom Jones. He was the best.
He let me stay in his room for
the whole month he was there last year.
He was really nice to me.
So, you, uh,
slept with Tom Jones.
- It wasn't like that. We didn't do that.
- Oh, I see.
You spent a month
sleeping with Tom Jones...
in his Vegas hotel room,
and you never had sex?
No.
Well, what exactly
did you do for Tom?
I kept him from being lonely,
like I'm gonna do for you.
We're family, Daddy. I've waited
my whole life to spend time with you.
I'm not cut out for this.
Just like that?
Look, can we just
deal with this later?
I gotta go
to work.
- Singing?
- Yeah. I'm a singer.
That's what I do for a living.
This is a karaoke bar.
Yeah, with a ton
of prize money.
Can I watch you work?
No.
Why?
Because
you wouldn't understand.
How would you
know that?
I just know it.
- You think I'm stupid?
- No.
Look, I do a solo,
that's all.
- [Coughs]
- Well, well.
Sleeping Beauty stirs.
Where am I?
Missouri. Six more states
and we're home free.
There's a layer of puke
on the side of the car...
that looks and smells
like rancid guacamole.
I told you to take some aspirin
last night, but you were,
like, totally trashed.
I've gotta get home.
You don't have a home, junior.
I bet you got a headache.
Sort of, yeah.
You alcoholics
are all the same.
I'm not an alcoholic.
I'm not.
Whatever you say.
I'm not the judge and jury.
I got my own problems.
Ooh. Do I detect a note
of interest this morning?
I told you I'd be nice to you
if you took me to California.
I tried to be nice, but you were
like permanently at half-mast,
- Like a nation in mourning.
- Listen,
I can drop you somewhere and,
you know...
I can drop you at the bus station
or the interstate.
- Wherever you wanna go,
I can drop you.
- I wanna go to California.
No, um,
I mean here, now.
I mean in
the immediate vicinity.
We gotta paint the cab.
And what would lead you to think
I would paint my cab?
We gotta paint the cab because the dildo
who's drilling your ex-girlfriend...
is gonna be
coming after his half.
He can have it
as far as I'm concerned,
but not until
we get to California.
If you think I'm gonna drive you
to California, you're delusional.
Well, it's better than crawling back
on your hands and knees...
to those two losers,
isn't it?
[Sighs]
I like the Cotton Candy Fuchsia,
don't you, Billy?
- Very daring.
- I must say, you are a connoisseur.
That is our top of the line
signature hue.
Now, is this part of
the $99 special?
Alas, quality
does not come cheap.
That is a creme de la creme
paint job...
for a creme de la creme
price.
The Cotton Candy series
goes for 173.99, tax included.
Okay. We'll take it,
right, Billy?
Oh, defnitely.
Excellent choice.
How'd you like to pay for that?
Cash, check,
credit card?
Uh, well, we're a little short
on money right now, sir,
but I'll consider it an honor
and a privilege to suck your dick.
[Machinery Whirring]
[Rock]
- Pushing it kinda hard, ain't you?
- Then you drive.
- I told you. I don't know how.
- I'll teach ya.
- No, man!
- Come on. It's easy.
I'm sure.
I just don't wanna do it.
A guy your age doesn't know how
to drive, it's ridiculous. Ah...
[Tires Screeching]
Islands in the stream
That is what we are
No one in between
- How can we be wrong
- Oh, shit.
- What?
- It's duets night.
And we rely on each other
- Uh-huh
- Can you carry a tune at all?
- Oh, I do okay.
- Yeah? Back me up?
I-I don't know.
It's... It's...
- Oh, hello there.
- Hi.
- Uh, what's the money tonight?
- It's $50.
- Each?
- Where do you think you are,
pal, Austin?
- Huh.
- No, the real big money's
up in Omaha this Saturday.
- Oh? How much?
- Five grand.
If you win here,
you qualify.
Well, show me the menu.
Thank you.
Mmm.
Can you handle this?
- "Try A Little Tenderness," please.
- Uh-huh.
Thank you very much.
Might think about slowin' down
on those, pal.
What are you, my mother?
Come on.
- What's the, um...
- This is the screen
I was telling you about.
The words
just come up there,
and as they change color,
you just sing along with it.
- As they change color, you just sing.
- Don't worry about it.
Okay, uh, I'm gonna have
to take a rain check, pal.
Why? Don't worry about it.
Just lip-synch or something.
- I'll carry the whole thing.
- No, no.
- I'll carry the whole thing.
- Really, really, I can't.
Oh, look, it's duets night.
Live in the moment.
I will drive you anywhere
in the goddamn country...
if you will
do this for me.
I swear to God.
- Come on. How you gonna beat that deal?
- [Music Starts]
Come on.
Just stand there.
That's all I need.
Please.
Oh, she may be weary
And young girls
they do get wearied
Wearin'that same old
shaggy dress
Yeah, yeah, yeah
But when
she gets weary
She gets weary
Try a little tenderness
- Tenderness
- Yeah, yeah
- Yeah, yeah
- Hey now
Come over here.
Come here. Come on.
I know she's waiting
Just anticipating
The things
- That she'll never
- Never
- Never, never possess
- Never, never possess, no
While she's there waiting
Ooh, she's waiting
Just tell me what to do,
Reginald, please.
Try a little tenderness
That's all
you gotta do
[Audience Applauds]
It's not
Just sentimental
No, no, no
No, no, no, no
She has her grief and cares
Yeah
- But the soft words
- You seen these guys before?
- They are spoke so gentle
- All right.
Oh, makes it easier
Easier
Easier to bear
- Ha!
- Oh, now you won't regret it, no, no
Young girls
they don't forget it
Love is their only happiness
- Yeah
- Yeah, yeah
- [Woman] Yeah!
But it's all so easy
All so easy
All you got to do
is try a little
- Tenderness
- Try a little tenderness
Yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
- You got to squeeze her
Don't tease her
- [Audience Clapping In Rhythm]
Never leave her
You got to, got to, got to
got to, got to, got to
Try a little tenderness
- Hey, hey, yeah, yeah
- Hey, hey, yeah, yeah
- Hey, hey, all you got to do now
- Yeah
- Ohhhh, you got to
- You got to
Squeeze her
Don't tease her
- Never leave her
- Never leave her
Na, na-na, wa, na-na, ow
Try a little tenderness
- Yeah, ohhhh
- Ooh, now, oh
Don't lose her now
You got to squeeze her
Don't tease her
Never leave her
[Scatting]
Try a little tenderness
- Ow! Whoo!
- Whoo!
[Cheering, Applause]
That was great!
Oh. Yeah.
You boys were great.
Me and Scott here were gonna
give it a shot tonight,
but after hearing you,
we ain't even gonna try.
Hey, thank you.
Superb.
[Car Horn Blaring]
- Wahhh...
- That's excellent, excellent, excellent.
Mmm. Mm!
- Try passing somebody.
- Are you crazy?
No, no, no.
Now, on the left, of course.
On the left, left, left, left.
Always on the left.
Always pass on the left,
Reginald,
unless, of course, the right
is the only thing open.
Cardinal rule
of American business.
- [Tires Screeching]
- [Todd] Oh, very good!
Very smoothly done!
- Hey, hey, hey!
- [Laughing]
You've done this before,
huh, hotshot?
This is good. You don't want
to pass this up. Pass him.
- No. Todd...
- Pass it!
- Oh, f... Pass it, loser!
- Hey!
- Hey, hey.
- How can a guy who sings
like you be such a loser?
Pass it!
- That's it! Yeah!
- Whoo!
Keep going.
Yes! Oh!
You're doin'beautiful!
[Todd Muttering]
- [Horn Blaring]
- Whoo!
[Reginald Screaming]
[Both Laughing]
Whoo!
[Coughing]
Whoo!
[Reginald Laughing]
[Panting]
Yours?
Oh, Reginald.
[Chuckles]
You have little hidden corners.
- Never mind that.
- Oh, what do you do with this thing?
- You don't wanna know.
- Oh, uh, you're wrong about that.
Show me.
No.
No more driving lessons
if you don't.
Fine. " No more
driving lessons."
Do you want to depend on people
for rides for the rest of your life?
- Come on. Show me
what you do with the gun.
- You don't want to know!
Get out!
Fine.
Hey... No...
Fu... Fuck.
No, it's not fne.
It's pathetic.
You sing like an angel, and you don't
even know how to drive a car?
That is what is wrong
with the entire culture, Reggie.
It's why I...
me personally...
why I destroyed the breeding ground
for an entire race of turtles,
all in the name
of a water slide, Reggie!
[Chuckles]
You're crazy.
I think you
need some sleep.
- Get some sleep for me.
- Sure.
- You're right.
- Really?
- Really?
- Sure.
Let's go.
[Coughing]
She'll expose you
when she snows you
Off your feet with the crumbs
she throws you
- She's ferocious
- [Patrons Whistling]
And she knows just what
it takes to make a pro blush
All the boys
think she's a spy
She's got
Bette Davis eyes
And she'll tease you
She'll unease you
All the better
just to please you
She's precocious
And she knows just what
it takes to make a pro blush
All the boys
think she's a spy
She's got Bette Davis eyes
And she'll
tease you
She'll unease you
Just to please you
She's got Bette Davis eyes
She'll expose you
When she snows you
And she knows you
She's got Bette Davis eyes
She's got Bette Davis eyes
She's got Bette Davis eyes
[Patrons Cheering,
Whistling, Applauding]
- Yeah!
- Amazing.
- [Liv] I was so scared.
- [Man] Oh, no, baby. You were great.
You know, you could go real far
with the right coaching.
Oh, my God, what are
you going as?
What exactly
are you doing here?
- I wanted to see you sing.
- Is that right?
You gonna enter this
little contest of ours?
I don't know. What do they
call it, anyway? " Karate-okee"?
Looks a little stupid.
Could I win a free drink or something?
- [Man Chuckles]
- [Ricky] And who are you?
Oh, well, this is Buddy.
Buddy is the champion around here.
He wins the prize money
every time, don't you, Buddy?
- Well, that's what they say.
- [Chuckles]
Oh, and this here is Clark.
This is Buddy's manager.
Manager? You must be
some singer, Buddy.
That's right.
Buddy here's the best on the circuit.
- Looks like my boy's gonna
bring home the bacon again.
- Your boy?
Oh, I get it. You two guys
are lovebirds. Is that the deal?
Who are you, mister?
I'm a guy who's willing to
bet you a thousand bucks...
on top of the purse...
that I can blow
your ass offstage.
What do you say?
All right.
No, Buddy.
Something don't smell right here.
Come on, Buddy.
It'll be fun.
Marlene, you got yourself
another entry.
Goddamn it, Buddy.
Let's just get the bartender
to hold this bet.
I'll hold it.
You really
his manager?
Number fve.
Crank it up.
[Background Singers On Tape]
Shooby-doo bop, bop, pow, ah
My heart is cryin', cryin'
Lonely teardrops
My pillow's never dry of
- Lonely teardrops
- [Patrons Cheering]
Come home
Come home
Watch my back.
Just say you will
Say you will
- Say ...
- You're some kind of goddamn
hustler, ain't you, boy?
- You know what we do
to hustlers around here?
- Yeah. You lose.
[Screaming]
- [Groaning]
- [Screaming Continues]
[Tires Screeching]
- [Man] Can I help you?
- Yeah, we'd like a couple rooms.
Okay,
they're $79 apiece.
No problem.
I've got this.
- This would be what?
- This would be
800,000 frequent flier miles.
And so?
So you've got
a room credit offer.
Um, no, we don't.
Oh, yes, you do, because I've read about
it in a thousand in-flight magazines.
Did you read
about it yesterday?
No, I didn't fly yesterday.
I drove with my friend here.
Well, that's too bad. You might have
read that yesterday the offer ended.
[Sighs]
This offer never really
existed anywhere, right?
- Listen, if you have cash...
- Oh, yes, I've got cash.
- I have got more credit cards...
- Hey...
than a New York
debutante.
I've got stocks, bonds,
and a dozen lines of credit.
But I have been buying
this mileage dream...
with my poor addled brain
for years now,
and it turns out to be
totally meaningless, doesn't it?
Gimme that, man!
Gimme that...
This whole offer is just like every
other pipe dream in the U.S.A., right?
- [Reggie]
Come on, man. Put down the gun!
- Just another cynical...
stock-job sucker punch on us poor,
dumb commercial believers.
It's a '90s version
of religious persecution, you know?
You people, you are terrifying!
Okay, okay.
I can give you two rooms.
I'll even throw in an upgrade.
Really. You hear that?
- Give it.
- No, just a second.
- [Laughing]
- Be cool, man.
Absolutely. Sure.
Whatever you say.
Bye now. Bye.
Really?
Thank you.
Okay, we're in
the executive suite.
Let me guess.
You wanna sleep in a bed
tonight or not?
- What?
- I don't understand you.
[Snickers]
You don't have to understand me.
What I do is just a hustle.
No, it's not about
a damn hustle.
It's about
humiliating yourself.
It's about denigrating
yourself because you can't deal
with the possibility of failure.
You're the loser here.
You're the underachiever.
What's it like going around
being everybody's conscience?
- Doesn't it get lonely?
- Don't you, trying to be
everybody's wet dream?
Listen, you loser. You got nowhere
to go and nothing to go back to.
You're just another poor lost soul
leading a life of quiet desperation.
I'm gonna be the only major thing that
has ever happened to you in your life,
and you're gonna be jerkin' off
to my memory on your deathbed.
- If I was you, I'd just sit back
and enjoy the ride.
- How'd you get like this?
Hmm.
- Ah...
- Hey, this ain't Kmart, pal.
Find what you need
and get out.
- Did you hear me?
- Uh-huh.
I've lived my life in sales.
Being hostile to a consumer
is very counterproductive.
That's it.
Get the fuck out.
[Gunshot]
Jesus Christ.
[Liquid Pouring On Floor]
Gimme the gun.
- Come on, man.
- Why?
- Gimme the gun.
- No.
- Fucker.
Shut up!
[Chuckling]
- Oh! Gimme that!
- Huh?
[Todd]
Oh! [Giggling]
- [Reggie] Come on! Go!
- [Todd Laughing]
[Reggie]
Get down!
[Gunshots]
Reginald,
are you angry with me?
You're strung out, man.
You need some sleep.
No, no, no.
You are so wrong, my brother.
I have never been more awake
in my entire life.
You're just mad because
I'm on to your little secret.
- And that would be what?
- Oh, the power of life and death.
Bam, bam, bam!
John Wayne I am!
[Chuckling]
It's a viable alternative
to a life in sales.
[Scoffs]
Hmm.
What?
Tsk.
I know that look.
That is the Candy Woods
look of disdain, isn't it?
I wouldn't know.
Never met her.
Hey...
Uh... Here.
Candy Woods.
She specializes
in plastic runners.
- [Laughing]
- These your kids?
Mm-hmm.
Julie and Carson.
Kind of pretty.
You think so?
- I gotta use the bathroom.
- Fine.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Stay in the car.
Fine.
You know what the hangover
is for killing?
[Sighs]
No. I give up.
Doom.
[Phone Ringing]
- Hello?
- [Reggie] Mrs. Todd Woods?
- Yes.
- How soon can you get to
Omaha, Nebraska, Mrs. Woods?
I'll close my eyes
Then I won't see
The love you don't feel
When you're holding me
Morning will come
And I'll do what's right
Just give me till then
To give up
this fight
And I will
give up this fight
'Cause I can't
make you love me
If you don't
You can't make
your heart feel
Somethin'
it won't
Here in the dark
In these fnal hours
I will lay down my heart
And I feel
the power
But you won't
No, you won't
'Cause I can't
make you love me
If you don't
[Cheering]
I think it's clear.
We have a winner.
The $500 grand prize winner
this evening, ladies and gentlemen,
is Suzi Loomis.
As if... As if
I have to tell you,
Suzi, you now qualify
to sing in Omaha...
on Saturday night
for $5,000.
Here you go, darlin'.
Congratulations.
Let's hear it. Suzi Loomis,
ladies and gentlemen.
[Cheering, Applause]
- You were really great.
- Not too shabby, huh?
Way to go, baby. Let's not forget
our agreement, huh?
- I mean, a deal's a deal. Come on!
- No, no, no, no, no.
I think you should just leave it alone,
all right?
- [Beeping]
- That's Mr. And Mrs. Dean?
Mr. And Miss.
We're here
for the contest.
That reservation was
for one room or two?
- Two rooms.
- Adjoining, if possible.
Oh, I'm sure that
can be arranged.
Great.
I'll register you in. Don't worry.
I won't cramp your style.
What's this?
[Sighing]
It's the end of the road.
They got karaoke?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, this hotel has
a mileage upgrade offer.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- You do it.
- Okay.
Will you look at this place?
We could be anywhere.
- Yeah, I guess we could. Hi.
- Hello.
Oh, I'm sorry. We're not
accepting this right now.
But we do accept
all major credit cards.
- Hey.
- Huh?
- Get a room like everybody else.
- What do you think?
- You're funny.
- I am? Why?
- Because I make you nervous.
- No, you don't.
You act
like I do.
I wanted to be a ballerina,
did you know that?
[Sighs] But Donna had her heart set
on us working side by side.
She never really said so,
but I could tell.
You always refer to your mom
by her frst name?
Only since we started
working at the Dunes,
because she said that me calling
her "mom" made her feel old.
She used to talk
about you a lot, you know.
Did you
ever miss her?
I don't know.
I suppose so.
Well, she could not
sing at all. [Chuckles]
But I used to love it
when she would,
and she would always sing
the same song over and over...
like a broken record.
And, uh,
it went, like...
You're gonna
fly away
Glad you're
goin' my way
I love it when
we're cruisin' together
Smokey Robinson.
- You know it.
- Sure.
It was one
of our favorites.
Music is
played for love
Cruisin' is
made for love
Hey, why'd you come
to Donna's funeral?
Look, um, you know,
I don't wanna get into it.
I mean, I just feel like
we're circling the inevitable.
What does that mean?
Well, you have this childlike dream
that we're always gonna be together.
It's an unrealistic
fantasy.
I mean, it's just not
who I am. I'm sorry.
You know, you are so busy
pushing people away and trying
to be something that you're not,
that when something real fnally comes
into your life, you can't deal with it.
Well, I am here. I am alive.
I am your daughter.
Whether you want to take responsibility
for it or not, it's a fact.
I mean, what kind of person doesn't
acknowledge his own child?
I'm not asking you
for the moon.
I am asking you
for a hand,
to reach out,
and you can't even do that.
And you feel sorry for me?
I feel sorry for you.
- [Water Running]
- [Knocking]
[Faucet Squeaks,
Water Stops]
[Knocking]
Todd?
Jesus.
What are you doing?
- Talk to your wife, man, not to me.
- No.
I wanna talk to you. What the hell
do you think you're doing?
Trying to save
your life.
I love you, man.
Are you gay, Todd?
- Is that what's happening?
- No, Mrs. Woods, we're not gay.
- [Chuckles]
- Your husband has been kind to me.
He's been a friend.
- But now he's headed down this path.
- Oh, that's right.
That's right. A path.
For once in my life, it's a real path.
It's not some cheap, plastic
corporate illusion of a path.
It's a real path to the real meaning
of the real truth.
You know, I have actually
computed in my head...
the odds of getting
the same rental car twice...
in a lifetime
of business travel,
and do you know what they are?
Do you know
how many actual...
sense memories I have of being
in the same off-white...
Chevy Caprice
from the Alamo people...
in the Dallas-Fort Worth area
alone?
No.
It would blow your mind.
[Sniffling]
It's nothing either one of you people
can obviously ever comprehend.
I don't know
what's going on, Todd,
but I'm frightened.
Don't be frightened,
Mrs. Woods.
Nothing's happened that can
come back to haunt you,
- if he stops now.
- Stops what?
Huh? Who are you?
I'm a friend.
Oh.
Your husband has made
an error in judgment.
I would be pleased
to take all the blame.
For what?
Todd, what is going on?
I'm getting really confused here,
and I don't get it.
- Because I ask you...
- I say we take the country back
from the McDonalds...
and the Pizza Huts
and the Wendys.
I say we tear down all those strip malls
and we get back in touch...
with the inner core.
Oh, my God, Todd!
Would you be cool?
- Wha...
- Be cool.
[Sniffling]
I gotta go.
Why?
You just got here.
Did I say something
that offended you?
You're just
plain insane.
I'm just a little tired
of the American Dream.
Hello, everybody. Are you
ready to rock the house?
[People Cheering, Shouting,
Whistling, Applauding]
Okay, welcome to
Omaha, Nebraska.
You've all qualifed to sing
here tonight from just about
every state in the Union,
and the winner
gets to take home $5,000.
- [Cheering, Applause]
- Are you excited? I am... I am excited.
It should be an amazing night.
So let the games begin.
- [Loud Cheering, Whistling]
- Whoo!
[Scatting]
For the frst time
in history
It's gonna start
rainin' men
- Start rainin'men
- It's rainin' men
At break of day
when that man drove away
I was waiting
I crossed the street
to her house
And she opened
the door
She stood there laughing
- Hi. You a contestant?
- Yeah, Ricky Dean.
- My daughter set me up earlier.
- Yep. I got you down.
You go on in about
20 minutes, okay?
- Will you be using your own CD?
- Not tonight.
- Can I see your menu?
- Sure.
- My Delilah
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
- Oh, jeez. I'm sorry. Sorry about that.
- Oh!
It's okay.
["Strangers In The Night"
Playing]
Up to the moment
when we said our first hello
Little did we know
Love was just
a glance away
A warm embracing
dance away
And ever since
that night
- We've been together
- Hey.
- Lovers at first sight
- Hi.
- Hi.
- In love forever
- Uh, we bumped into
each other in the lobby.
- I know.
- It turned out so right
For strangers
in the night
Doo-bee doo-bee doo
Doo doo doo dee doo
Da dee da dee da
da dee da da dee da
- An angel just passed.
- What's that?
My mom used to say that when
nobody talked for a minute...
that an angel just passed.
Oh.
- Are you gonna sing?
- Me? No. No, no, no.
I don't know how
to sing. I mean...
Everybody knows how to sing,
it's just I'm not good at it.
Oh, come on.
I bet you're just being modest.
[Hostess]
Let's bring out our next singer.
All right. Are you guys
ready for the song stylings...
of Miss Suzi Loomis?
[Cheering, Whooping,
Whistling]
Suzi Loomis? No?
Suzi Loomis.
[Hostess]
Going once. Suzi Loomis going twice.
- Nope?
- Would you excuse me?
- We'll give you a chance
to come up here.
- Yeah.
- In the meantime,
let's just move down the list.
- Okay.
You kids ready?
Yeah? Okay.
Let's bring out
Tonia and Hobie Kasper.
Bom bom bom bom
bom bom bom bom bom
Bom bom bom bom bom bom
Ba ding-a-ding ding
- Blue moon
- Blue, blue, blue, blue moon
[Coughing]
[Coughing]
[Exhaling]
- [Sniffling]
- They called your name.
Are you all right?
[Chuckles]
Can't you tell?
[Gasping]
You're sick?
[Sniffling]
Scared shitless.
Ugh.
You were right, you know?
I'm the loser.
[Sniffling]
I was just too dumb to notice.
You happy?
Now, go away and let me
die in peace, please.
You know, I was
gonna be a priest.
[Laughing]
Really, I was. Black robe
and the collar, the whole deal.
I was, uh... I was about
to graduate the seminary.
Yeah... I don't know
what happened. I don't.
Ever since I was a kid,
I believed that there was some
greater purpose for my life.
You know? I-I thought it was
my calling to help people.
- It's such a crock. It's a crock.
- No.
My third-grade teacher said the world's
a sewer and we're all living in hell.
Wow. Tough class.
Listen.
I-I'm always gonna believe
the world's beautiful...
and people are
basically decent.
And if that's gonna keep me
from ftting in,
then I'd rather go through this whole
life like a complete and utter retard,
rather than have to accept
somebody else's miserable reality.
Do you know
what I mean?
Do you wanna
help me up?
Yeah.
[Grunting]
Where do you think they think
we're gonna put the TVs...
if they weren't bolted
to the furniture?
- You got me.
- Yeah.
[Chuckling]
You look great.
Good. 'Cause I
wanna win tonight.
- I want the fve thou.
- Me too.
- Ah, I don't think you're up to it.
- What are you talkin' about?
No, it would be funny,
us not doing a duet.
Pretty night tonight.
I'm really sorry
about what happened.
He shouldn't have shot at us.
That was stupid.
Uh-huh. He made
an error in judgment.
Uh.
[Chuckles]
So did you.
- [Sighs]
- Your wife seems like
a very decent person.
Yeah.
She fooled me too.
Now, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, man.
Come on. Enough.
- I'm trying to keep you
from throwing your life away.
- Why?
I'm through livin'
in a middle-class prison.
You don't know anything
about livin' in prison.
I'll... I'll... I'll be good.
I promise.
- [Sighs]
- Let's just go downstairs.
[Snickers]
I never met
anybody like you.
[Hostess] All right, Omaha.
Are we having a good time?
- [Crowd] Yeah!
- Yeah?
Okay. Well, we found her this time,
so let's try this again, okay?
Let's give a nice,
warm round of applause...
to Miss Suzi Loomis.
Hey, hey-ey
Yeah, yea-ah
Sweet dreams
are made of this
Who am I to disagree
I travel the world
and the seven seas
Everybody's
lookin' for somethin'
Some of them
want to use you
Some of them want
to get used by you
Some of them
want to abuse you
Some of them
want to be abused
[Crowd Cheering]
Sweet dreams
are made of this
Who am I to disagree
I travel the world
and the seven seas
Everybody's
lookin' for somethin'
[Singers On CD]
Sweet dreams are made of this
Sweet dreams
are made of this
- Sweet dreams are
- Sweet dreams
[Loud Cheering, Whistling]
Do you think
I'm a good person?
Yeah, I do.
I wish I did.
I wish a lot of things.
Everybody does.
What do you
wish for?
Um...
All the things
I never did...
- When I had a chance to do 'em.
- [Bell Dings]
[Door Sliding Open]
[Sighing]
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
with your permission,
I'd like to introduce
my daughter, Liv.
[Man]
Yeah!
Baby, let's cruise
Away
From here
Don't be confused
The way
Is clear
And if you want it
you got it forever
This is not
a one-night stand
Baby
- Yeah, so
- So
Let the music
take your mind
Just release
and you will find
You're gonna fly away
Glad you're goin' my way
I love it when
we're cruisin' together
- Have a seat.
- Music is played for love
- Cruisin'is made for love
- You gonna be all right
by yourself for a while?
I love it when we're
cruisin'together
Cerveza, por favor.
Cruise with me, baby
Cruise
Yeah
Cruise
- Oh, baby, let's cruise
- Oh, baby, let's cruise
[Liv]
Let's float
Let's glide
Ooh-ooh, let's open up
And go
Inside
And if you want it
you got it forever
I could just stay here
beside you and love you, baby
Let the music
Take your mind
Just release and
You will fnd
You're gonna fly away
Glad you're goin' my way
I love it when
we're cruisin' together
Music is played for love
Cruisin' is made for love
- I love it when
- I love it
I love it I love it
I love it
[Cheering,
Applause]
Her name was Lola
She was a showgirl
With yellow feathers
in her hair
And her dress
cut down to there
She would merengue
and do the cha-cha
And while she tried to be a star
Tony always tended bar
Across the crowded floor
They worked from 8 till 4
They were young
and they had each other
- Who could ask for more
- At the Copa
At the Copa
Copacabana
The hottest spot
north of Havana
At the Copa
Copacabana
Music and dancing
were always the fashion
At the Copa
Don't fall in love
Copacabana
Copacabana
Copacabana
[Cheering,
Applause, Whistling]
All right, ladies and gentlemen.
It is sure gonna be tough
to pick a winner tonight.
Okay, our next contestant,
Mr. Reggie Kane.
[Applause]
What tune can I spin
for you tonight, Mr. Kane?
I'm gonna make
my own music tonight, ma'am.
This song is for
a friend of mine.
He taught me
to drive.
If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me
For I must be
travelin' on now
'Cause there's too many places
I've got to see
For if I stay here
With you now
Things just couldn't be
the same
'Cause I'm as free
As a bird now
And this bird
you cannot change
Oh-oh
And this bird
you cannot change
Lord knows
I can't change
Lord knows
[Laughing]
I can't change
[Audience Gasps, Screams]
[Todd]
No! Reggie! Reggie!
[Groaning]
[Panting]
And they say our society
has lost its fnesse.
[Laughing]
Oh, my God. Man...
Go home.
May I sit?
Be my guest.
Thought you
might like something.
Brought you
something else.
[Snickers]
I can't go back
to who I was.
I'm different now.
I sing.
I'm sorry
about your friend.
You must have really
cared about him.
[Sighs]
I know I haven't
said this in a long time,
but I love you
very much.
Oh, she may be weary
And young girls
they do get wearied
Wearing that same old
shaggy dress
But when she
gets weary
Try a little tenderness
- Hey.
- Hi.
How ya doin'?
- I can't believe what happened
last night.
- I know.
- Somebody said he was
an escaped convict or something.
- Mornin'.
- All paid up.
- I just don't believe that.
He seemed so sweet,
and he sang so beautifully.
Yeah. I never heard
" Free Bird" sung like that.
- Is that yours?
- Yeah.
- Nice paint job.
- Thanks.
- [Suzi] There you are.
- Hey, you all ready to go?
Let's get the show on the road.
California, here I come.
Hey, something wrong there,
honey?
- No, I'm just sad.
- Yeah, I know.
Well, if it's of any interest, there's
a $2,000 purse in Sparks, Nevada.
Nevada? Nevada's
on the way to California.
Just a slight detour.
What do you say?
- How could I refuse?
- [Chuckling]
Listen, it was really great
meetin' you guys.
Hey, would you like
to share our cab?
Why not?
You know, I already know
the answer to this, but I'm
gonna ask the question anyway.
Fire away.
I have 800,000
frequent flier miles...
that I never
have been able to use.
You don't by any chance
accept them for travel?
Of course we do.
Oh.
Well.
And they say that our society
has lost its fnesse.
Each day
through my window
I watch him
as he passes by
And I say to myself
I'm so lucky
he's so fly
To have a boy like him
Is truly
a dream come true
Out of all
the girlies in the world
He belongs to you
But it was just
my imagination
Runnin'away with me
Tell you
it was just my imagination
Runnin'away with me
Soon we'll be married
And raise a family
Oh, yeah
Have a cozy little crib
in the country
With two children
maybe three
I tell you I
Can visualize it all, baby
Ooh
It couldn't be a dream
'Cause too real
it all seems
Oh-oh, oh, oh
But it was just
my imagination
Ooh, once again, yeah
- Runnin'away with me
- Running away with me
- Tell you it was just my imagination
- Running away
Runnin'away with me
Me, yeah, yeah
Hoo
Every night
on my knees I pray
Dear Lord
Hear my plea, yeah
Don't ever let another
take his love from me
Or I will surely die
- Her love is
- Heavenly
When your arms enfold me
I hear a tender rhapsody
- But in reality
- Ooh
He doesn't even know me
- Just my imagination
- Ooh, he's so fly
I look out my window
- Runnin'away with me
- It's runnin'away with me, baby
[Music Changes]
Oh, now you won't regret it
No, no
Young girls
they don't forget it
Love
is their only happiness
Yeah, yeah, yeah
But it's all so easy
All so easy
All you got to do
Is try a little tenderness
Try a little tenderness
Yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
You got to squeeze her
Don't tease her
Never leave her
You got to, got to, got to
got to, got to, got to
Try a little tenderness
- Hey, hey
- Hey, hey
- Yeah, yeah, hey, hey
- Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
You got to squeeze her
Don't tease her
Never leave her
[Scatting]
Try a little tenderness
Yeah
Yeah, yeah
Oh, don't lose her now
You got to squeeze her
Don't tease her
Never leave her
- You got to
- [Scatting]
Try a little tenderness
[Man Laughing,
Blows Raspberry]
Whoo!
Oww!
[Off-key]
I'd fall down on my knees
Kiss the ground
that you walk on, baby
If I could just hold you
[Woman]
Whoo!
Again
- [Whistling]
- Whoa, yeah
lf I could
just hold you
- Baby, you can hold me!
- If I could just hold you again, baby.
Thank you!
All right, Tulsa,
RonnyJackson!
Let's take a short break, and then
I'll be right back with our next singer.
[Country]
Yeah!
Way to go, Ronny.
Looks like you're on your way to Omaha.
I didn't give it
a second thought.
How about a beer, Earl?
- Your usual?
- Please.
Glass of Chardonnay
for Beth.
[Man Laughs]
What, I say
something funny?
No. I mean, sort of.
You people do this
every night?
- "You people"?
- What do they call it anyway,
"karate-okee"?
No. That's karaoke.
- It's a way of life.
- [Chuckles] Some life.
- Can I have another seven-and-seven?
- You bet it is.
Talent like Ronny's brings in about
a thousand bucks a month, mister.
And that's on top of what I make
at the meat plant.
- For amateur singing.
- [Beth] Nothing amateur about it.
A hundred bucks up tonight,
and winning automatically qualifes...
for the grand prize
over in Omaha.
And you, mister,
are looking at the winner.
Hey, from what
I've seen tonight,
I don't see how you can lose.
[Laughs]
Maybe you'd like to pass through
our little contest here, huh?
I don't have the right costume.
[Giggles]
You don't have the voice.
I beg your pardon.
I'll have you know I was in the choir
all three years of high school.
- So sing.
- For a hundred bucks?
You gotta be kidding.
It's not even worth it.
Really? Well, why don't I
sweeten the pot a little bit?
How much you got
in your pockets?
All right.
What the hell.
Might be fun.
Let's see.
Six hundred
and ninety bucks.
Okay.
[Clears Throat]
- You're covered.
- So what are you gonna sing?
- Hell, I don't know. Whatcha got?
- Show him the menu.
- "Joe Cocker."
- Joe Cocker.
All right.
You be the bank.
- Oh, come on, guys.
- Earl, just hold the money.
- Got it? All right? Got it?
- All right. All right.
[Piano: Rock]
[Feedback]
[Chattering]
Seems I got to have
a change of scene
Every night I have
Strangest dream
- He's good!
- Imprisoned by the way
It could have been
Left here on my own
or so it seems
I got to leave before I
start to scream
Oh, someone
locked the door
And took the key
Hey, feelin' alright
Uh-huh
I'm not feelin'
too good myself
- Uh-huh
- Yes, sir
Feelin'alright
Uh-huh
- I'm not feelin'
too good myself, no
- Uh-huh
Boy, you sure took me
For one big ride
Even now I sit
and I wonder why
That when I think of you
I start myself to cry
Can't just waste my time
I must get by
Gotta stop believin'
in all your lies
Oh, there's too much to do
before I die, hey
Feelin'alright
Uh-huh
I'm not feelin'
too good myself, no
- Uh-huh
- Yes, sir
Feelin' alright
Uh ho
Whoo!
I'm feelin' alright
- Uh-huh
- [Cell Phone Ringing]
[Ringing Continues]
Hello.
Yeah, this is Ricky Dean.
What?
- Oh, shit.
- Honey, you okay?
When?
Oh, shit.
Uh, where?
Um, I-I don't know.
No, no, I understand.
It's just that...
No, no, no.
I understand.
Hang on a second.
Where am I?
- Tulsa.
- They got a direct flight to Vegas?
Oh, yeah, sure.
They got a regular shuttle.
Uh, I-I can't make it
till tomorrow night.
All right.
- What happened?
- Nothing.
Somebody died.
Of course, not as cold
across Texas...
in comparison
to parts of Montana.
It's all relative, though.
[Continues, Indistinct]
[Alarm Buzzing]
[Buzzing Stops]
Keep that in mind if you're traveling
anywhere from Aspen...
over to, uh,
the Denver-Fort Collins area.
Winter weather.
Blowing snow also.
You could have very light snow
with an overcast sky,
the wind starts blowing around
even when it's light.
That means very poor visibility.
Be prepared for that.
- It's gonna be a cold night.
- [Clattering]
[Airplane Approaching]
I'm sorry, everybody. My plane
was delayed. We rerouted to Atlanta.
- I'm very sorry.
- That's why they invented
airport hotels.
- Right, guys?
- Correct. Right.
- Coffee?
- Yes, thank you very much.
That'd be great.
I've been on the go
since Monday.
I'm telling you, I hardly had time
to eat the peanuts on the airplane.
Okay. I know
I've held you guys up,
and I've got another flight
at 11:00,
so I'll cut
right to the chase.
Our development guys love
the growth rate in this area.
And the marketing people are incredibly
pumped about labor costs, real estate,
all the potential spin-offs
into the ancillary service areas.
- Is that mine? Why, thank you.
- You betcha.
So, we would like to bring
some of our folks down here...
to look at possible construction sites,
talk about labor costs,
the work pool.
Now we're gonna need your help
with environmental groups,
Iocal zoning boards,
state-level lobby types, et cetera.
Something wrong?
No. It's just, uh...
[Chuckles]
I-I-I'm not sure what
you're talking about.
The park.
The theme park. Uh, Pilgrim Village,
U.S.A. [Chuckles]
This is the Poultry Retailers
Association meeting.
[Laughs]
Oh, gosh. Uh, well, then I must
be in the wrong room.
Wow. I'm... very sorry, guys.
I was just in such a hurry.
- Hey, shit happens.
- Yeah, yeah.
Anyway... Thank you.
Thanks for the coffee.
Thanks. Um...
Does anybody know where
the Everglades conference suite is?
Everglades?
This is Houston.
Oh, God.
I thought
I was in Orlando.
Hi. You called a cab?
Why do we
always get you?
[Laughs]
Um, I don't know.
I'll tell you why.
'Cause nobody else
will take these jobs.
Released criminals are not notorious
for heavy tipping, are they?
Ten bucks,
flat rate.
What do you keep
lookin' at, kid?
- Nothing. I wasn't looking at anything.
- Don't give me, " Nothing."
I know who you are,
and you know me.
- You're Miss Gahagan, aren't you?
- Right.
Miss Gahagan, your wonderful, caring,
nurturing third grade teacher...
of the Chatsworth Avenue School.
Look at me, kid.
You're Billy Hannon, right?
- Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am, I am.
- I remember you.
You were one of
my biggest underachievers.
[Snickers]
How come you're driving a cab?
Actually, this is my own cab.
I own it.
Well, I own half.
- You own half a cab? Wow.
- Yes.
I'll bet Donald Trump is
lookin' over his shoulder.
You're just bustin'to know
what I was cracked for.
- No, I really... No, I really don't.
- Shoplifting.
They caught me
at the Grand Union...
with a pound of smoked turkey
and two pairs of pantyhose in my crotch.
The bird had one of those, uh...
Goddamn. What do they call it?
Metal things in it,
set off the detector.
Detectors in food stores.
What a society.
And I don't even want to think
of the number of infants...
who swallowed those things
and are choking to death on them.
[Sighs]
What a world.
- Eat a bite of turkey,
you go straight to hell.
- Right.
Yeah, I guess it's hard to make
ends meet in the retirement sector.
Oh, I do okay. I just steal stuff
to fuck with people.
- You ever steal anything, Billy?
- No, ma'am, I wouldn't do that.
No, no, of course.
You're a basic underachiever.
As always, too scared
of getting caught and judged.
You were more, uh,
the mystical sort.
You were going to be
a priest, if I recall.
Didn't you graduate
from Loyola?
No, no. It just, uh...
It just wasn't my destiny.
Destiny? [Laughs]
What a crock of shit!
[Continues Laughing]
Miss Gahagan,
why don't you take this?
You need this
more than I do.
And listen to me
for a second, okay?
I am not an underachiever.
I'm not.
I am just trying to achieve something
different than most people I know.
Oh, and what is that?
- Harmony.
- [Laughs]
You're a riot, Billy.
You're kind of pathetic,
but you're a riot.
Let me give you
some advice, Father.
The world is a sewer,
and we're all livin' in hell.
The sooner you can accept that,
the sooner you'll be able
to get on with your life.
So long.
[Newscaster On TV] It's not often we
can show you tape of a police chase...
that goes through
two countries.
Our Cindy LaVargas has it.
- [TVContinues, Indistinct]
- Hey!
- Hey.
- Billy.
What are you...
What are you doing here?
I took off early. There's a lecture
on Zen Buddhism tonight at the "Y."
Man, the saddest thing
happened to me today.
I got a call to go
to the police station...
Are you watching this? 'Cause I can
hardly hear with this thing.
- Yeah, um...
- [Man Vocalizing, Water Running]
Billy, um, um...
[Man Continues Singing]
Ooh.
God, I'm so... Billy.
I'm so sorry.
I don't...
I don't even know
how it happened.
I just, um... Billy?
I don't... Oh!
- Ralph?
- Christ. Billy...
- Oh, God.
- Billy, please. Don't get crazy.
- My own partner!
- Billy, no, please! Don't go!
[Video Game Beeping]
Hello.
[Chuckles]
Hey, Julie.
Sweetheart?
- Hey, Carson. I'm home, son.
- [Beeping Continues]
- Missed ya.
- [Gunshots]
Thought I was in Florida,
and I was in Texas.
Uh, can you
imagine that?
Now I come home and my own kids
can't even say hello to me.
Jeez, wouldn't it be nice if once when
I come home, someone says hello to me?
Sure.
But just because you come home,
you can't expect everyone...
to just drop what they're doing
and give you their undivided attention.
Well...
[Computer Chiming]
You know what I did for
the last 18 months, Candy?
Hmm?
I racked up over 200,000
frequent flier miles,
jamming a bogus
Pirates of the Caribbean village...
down some zoning board's throat
in Shell Island, South Carolina.
Took one of the last remaining pristine
beaches on the eastern seaboard,
and I turned it into Toonville...
with fast food.
[Chuckles]
- Not to mention the turtles.
- Turtles?
- [Computer Chimes]
- Yeah.
Goddamn Shell Island
sea turtles.
Oldest living amphibians
in North America.
But now extinct. Pffft!
Thanks to me.
Why? Because we needed their
breeding grounds for a water slide.
[Computer Chimes]
But didn't you want
their breeding ground?
Yes.
- No.
- Honey, could you...
I'm... I'm on-line here.
Okay?
[Keyboard Clicking,
Computer Chiming]
Where you going?
Sorry, Candy, but I'm going out
for a pack of cigarettes.
But you don't smoke!
[Organ Playing]
What are you doing?
Just trying to fx her hair.
It's sort of stiff.
They've got her
dipped in hair spray.
Hear that?
Poor Donna.
You knew her well?
Real well. Did you?
Not really.
I guess not.
I would've heard about you.
- You live here in Vegas?
- Mm-hmm.
Let me guess.
Keno girl?
Hey, buddy,
I worked right alongside Donna
here at the front line of the Dunes.
I'm about as close as you get
to an aristocrat in this town.
You okay?
Grieving.
Yeah, I can smell it
on your breath.
You must have
really loved her.
[Sighs]
Yeah.
I didn't want her
to get an aneurysm.
She's the only friend
I've ever had.
Me, too, I guess.
That was
a long time ago.
Could you just, like,
hold onto me for a little while?
[Sighs]
Oh, Donna would've been
so happy...
- to see you two like this.
- Hi, Grandma.
I don't want to interrupt
if you two are bonding.
Do you know him?
Why, of course I know him.
He's your father.
[Grandma] Where does your mother
keep the mayonnaise, dear?
She didn't believe
in mayonnaise.
She didn't believe
in mayonnaise?
She didn't believe in food
that required electricity.
Oh, look, see? There I am in
third grade. That was my birthday party.
And you sent me this,
remember?
Uh, yeah, uh, I think so.
I'm still wearing it.
[Chuckles]
You know, I don't understand what
mayonnaise has to do with electricity.
Well, you've got
to refrigerate it.
See, they cut off our power
so many times over the years...
that she just went with
the pure preservatives.
Hey, look under the microwave,
in that drawer.
There's a bunch of packs of shit
from Burger King and stuff.
You got it for me
in Springfeld, Missouri,
and you sent it from
the airport in St. Louis.
See? Look.
It's got a B-E over F-R-I.
Yeah, I see that.
Do you still have
the other half?
Oh, I don't know.
You know, maybe somewhere.
Well, that's okay.
It always just kind of gave me hope.
It's kind of what passes
for a tradition in our family.
It was the last year
you sent a present.
Well, I prefer mayonnaise,
but at least this is Paul Newman's Own.
I just love Paul Newman,
don't you?
I must've rented Sweet Bird of Youth
a hundred times.
So, where are you
living now, Ricky?
Um, nowhere. I mean, you know,
I travel pretty much all the time.
The gypsy life.
I love it.
I lived it myself
when I was a chorus girl.
But when Mr. Sinatra
got me my job at the Dunes,
the roots began to sprout.
A dynasty was born.
First Donna. Then Liv.
Hey, you're not eating.
Just when I thought my whole life
was falling apart.
He's like a sign from heaven,
isn't he, Grandma?
Sure is.
Well, I gotta be in Kansas City
early tomorrow morning for a show.
What?
You're leaving?
- He's leaving, Grandma?
- It's okay, honey.
Maybe Liv could keep you company
in Kansas City.
- Really?
- Um, w-well...
Oh, I'm so excited
I gotta pee!
- Where's she going?
- Next door.
There's always something wrong
with the septic tank.
Look, what are you
talking about?
Listen, you no-good
son of a bitch.
You knock up my daughter
like she's some bitch in heat,
and then you disappear without
so much as a backward glance.
Well, it's time to pay up.
Um, well, I mean, I was gonna
give you something.
You know, for the funeral
and all and, well...
I'm not talking about money,
but I'll take it.
Now, you better listen.
That girl is not gonna lose a mother
and a father in the same week.
Oh, come on!
You can't be serious!
She's got a life here.
I mean, she's got a job.
- She's an adult, for Christ's sake.
- Just listen to me.
I don't give a damn
whether you stay or go,
but not until that sweet child manages
to turn her life back around.
She's a special girl.
You may not be much,
but you and I are all she has,
and what she needs now is a father.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- [Sliding Door Opens]
- [Clears Throat]
- Good evening, sir.
- Good evening. I would
like a room. Thank you.
- Of course.
Could you fll this out,
and may I have a credit card?
Ahh. Got something better
than a credit card.
I have got over 800,000
frequent flier miles.
I've been wanting to take advantage
of your room credit offer for years.
I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have
any mileage credit rooms
available this evening.
Oh, you don't have
any vacancies?
Yes, we do, but not for
the mileage credit program.
Uh, if you'd like to reserve
a room now for credit,
the earliest
I have available is in...
six weeks.
I would like a room
tonight.
We take MasterCard,
Visa or AMEX.
[Rock]
[Woman] You're a real tough cookie
with a long history
Of breaking little hearts
like the one in me
Before I put another notch
in my lipstick case
You better make sure
you put me in my place
Hit me with your best shot
Come on
Hit me with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away
Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me
with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away
Fire away
- Ba ba ba baow
- [Cheering, Whistling]
Hey, excuse me.
You are a great singer.
Aw! Karaoke's my life.
Oh.
What is karaoke?
What?
Where you been, mister?
Uh, airport hotel rooms.
- Oh.
- Suburbia.
- Mental jail.
- Ah! Well, they don't
got it in jail yet,
but they got it in every bar
I ever been in.
And it's what,
exactly?
Oh, it's a rush
like you wouldn't believe.
It's like you get to be a star
for three minutes!
Ow! [Laughs]
Can you sing?
I mean, up there in front of people?
Oh, well, I used to, actually.
A little bit.
- Yeah? Well, what happened?
- A long time ago.
I don't know.
I guess I went into sales.
Oh. Well, are you in sales
at the moment?
[Laughs]
Oh, no.
Actually, I'm out getting
a pack of cigarettes.
Yeah. I don't know
where I am, actually.
- Uh, I'm somewhere
in Arizona or something.
- Arizona?
- [Laughing]
- Right?
- Are you crazy?
You're in New Mexico.
- Oh.
Close enough.
They're right next to each other.
[Both Laughing]
Well, why don't you
go ahead and go sing?
- No. No!
- Yeah.
- Oh, come on! It won't kill you!
- No way. No.
- I'd be way too nervous.
- Ah! Okay.
Here. Take one of these.
Just one. Go ahead.
Go on. Beta blockers.
They chase all your fears away.
Come on.
Drink up. Taffy!
- Good boy.
- Sheila!
- What can I do for you?
- Can you do me a little favor?
- My friend here is desperate to sing.
- Oh, no.
- Are you sure?
- No, no, thank you. No, I couldn't.
- Oh, come on!
- I couldn't. No.
They're not workin' yet.
- Uhhh!
- Mm-hmm.
- Go! You can do it!
- Okay! What the hell!
[Laughs]
All right! What's your name?
- Todd. Yeah.
- Don't be afraid. Come on up.
Whoa, whoa.
What am I supposed to sing?
I'm gonna put a song on.
Watch the monitor and sing.
Everyone, a warm welcome
for Todd.
He's a little nervous.
[Applause]
[Man]
Come on, brother! Sing your song!
- Hello, it's me
- [Groaning, Laughing]
- Hello, it's me
- [Music Stops]
I'm sorry, honey.
You started a little too soon.
- You wait till the colors change.
We'll try it again.
- Okay.
Hello, it's me
I've thought about us
for a long, long time
Maybe I think too much
but something's wrong
- There's something here
that doesn't last too long
- [Girls Giggling]
Maybe I shouldn't think
of you as mine
- [Woman] Yeah!
- [Man Hoots]
[Cheering]
Seein' you
Or seeing anything
as much as I do you
I take for granted
that you're always there
I take for granted
that you just don't care
- Sometimes I can't help
seein' all the way through
- [Cheering]
- Yeah!
- [Cheering Continues]
Whoo! Yeah!
It's important to me
That you know
you are free
- 'Cause I never wanna
- Hey, Taffy.
- Make you change for me
- He's so cute, isn't he?
Yeah, he is.
Think of me
You
You know that I'd
be with you if I could
I'll come around to see you
once in a while
Or if I ever need
a reason to smile
And spend the night
if you think I should
- Hey, lady, can you help me out?
- Hey. Oh, no.
I spent my last money
on that bus.
Maybe you can help me out.
They got a karaoke bar around here?
Oh, I wouldn't know.
I guess you wouldn't,
would you?
Anyway...
- Hey!
- God bless you, sir. Have a nice day.
Hey, lady,
come back!
- [Rock]
- Hey, hey, ah
What I like about you
What... What I like
about you
That's what I like
That's what I like
- [Coughing]
- [Continues]
Here you go.
Billy!
Been to every bar in town.
Me too.
I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
So what do you want
from me?
Look, you're the greatest guy
I have ever met.
You're the frst man
that I had sex with.
You know, after ten years
of being with women.
And the sex was great.
You were so tender,
and you were so sweet.
It was almost like...
being with a girl.
Seriously.
Hey, what's the purse
in this shithole?
- Where's the K.J.?
- The K.J.?
- We're talking here.
- Whatever.
Hey. You got money up on the karaoke,
or is this some kind of shadow hang?
Not today.
Strictly barbers and phantoms.
- Aw, shit!
- No! You just don't have
enough faith in yourself.
Don't start the cheerleader act,
okay? I'm sick of it!
You're like some totally pure,
totally innocent person.
Most of us
can't be like you.
Or I know I can't.
[Man Singing,
Indistinct]
To you and Ralph.
You're not even
listening to me.
I told you!
- He's repulsive.
- Then why?
I don't know.
I guess he...
[Sighs]
I guess 'cause
he treats me like shit.
- Ha!
- That's what I like about you
Sorry.
Hey
Listen, there's one other thing
I gotta...
Ralph's worried
about the vehicle.
His half-a-vehicle. Ralph is worried
about his half-a-vehicle.
Said he'll call the cops if you don't
bring that cab in. He means it too.
He said it like 40 times.
At least.
Well, he's gonna have to do
what he's gonna have to do.
Okay, Billy.
You do what you gotta do,
you know?
- I-I'm really sorry about...
everything, really.
- Hey, hey, hey
[Applause, Whistling]
I hope you fnd that angel
you're looking for someday.
[Clears Throat]
So, you own a cab?
- I own half a cab.
- How does someone own half a cab?
Well, that's about as far as
your basic underachiever gets in life.
- Didn't you know that?
- No. I'm an achiever, myself.
Good for you.
So, are you free?
- Free for what?
- I need a ride.
- Where you goin'?
- California.
- [Laughs]
- I don't have any money,
but I'd be willing
to be nice to you.
Real nice. All the way
to the Sunshine State.
- Florida is the Sunshine State.
- Whatever.
I need to get to California,
and I'm willing to be nice.
What are you
normally?
Okay, fne!
That's what I get for talking
to your basic underachiever.
Which way is
the interstate, exactly?
About two miles west.
- What are you gonna do?
- Hitch.
Hey, um,
which way's west,
exactly?
Is that it?
A few miles up the road
is the Side Track.
It's a truck stop
It's where you get off.
Well, I appreciate
the ride this far.
It might take you some time
to get another ride,
this being Utah
and you being colored and all.
Them shoes you're wearing
don't help any.
Uh, I'm not sure I quite
understand what you mean.
Them's prison shoes.
Standard issue when they drum you out.
Worn a pair or two myself.
Yes, I'm sure you have.
- What were you in for?
- An error in judgment.
[Laughing]
Hey, babe, we was all in for an
error in judgment. [Laughs]
Yeah, I suppose we were.
Some say the world
will end in fre.
Some say in ice.
What do you think?
Heh. Hard to say,
Cold War bein' over and all.
Your money or your life.
Get the fuck out.
I apologize. I do.
It's just that
the only skill I have is singing.
Learn a trade.
I have.
This is it.
[Rock]
I'm on a Mexican radio
I'm on a Mexican
Whoa, radio
[Humming]
- [Tires Screeching]
- [Continues]
[Tires Screeching]
Hello!
Hop in.
- [Continues]
- Come on, come on, come on. Hop in.
- Where you going?
- I don't know.
What the fuck
do you care?
- Hop in.
- Your eyes are weird.
- You on something?
- 'Scuse me?
- You look funky.
- Are you a cop?
- No.
- Okay, then shit or get off the pot.
Where you going?
Chicago.
Where you going?
Nowhere. I'm actually out
buying a pack of cigarettes.
[Laughing]
What's in Chicago?
My mother's in Chicago.
Oh. Okay.
Well, they probably got
cigarettes there. Hop in.
Reach in that cooler back there.
Pop us a couple of cervezas, por favor.
I tried those Styrofoam jobbies
the last three times.
You think it's cost-effcient?
It is not.
[Clicks Tongue]
Ah. There you go.
Gracias.
- You're not having one?
- No, thank you. It's against the law.
- You should loosen up, my friend.
- You think so?
Mmm. Hell yes.
You know, in fact,
this whole country should loosen up.
It's not even a country
anymore anyway.
It's just
a big strip mall.
McDonalds, Pizza Huts,
Wendys.
Big strip mall
from coast to coast.
- [Sniffs]
- You're on cocaine?
I have a cold.
- You're flyin'on something.
- I'm flying on freedom.
[Squeals]
I scored some bennies off some
shadow in this K-bar last night.
- I think it was Tucumcari.
- Shadow?
Yeah. It's K-talk.
It's karaoke.
Uh, I may need you
to drive later on.
I don't know how.
- You don't know how to drive?
- No, I don't know how to drive.
How bizarre!
Is this a result of heredity?
Environment.
I've lived my life in tiny rooms.
So have I, man.
All owned by
major chains.
- Chains?
- Ramada, Sheraton, Motel 6. Chains.
Huh. I'm no stranger
to chains myself.
Well, now, aren't we lucky
that we met?
[Laughing]
[Knock On Door]
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
I decided to come.
I got the room next door.
Just like that?
How'd you fnd me?
Information.
I only had to call three hotels
before I found you.
Wow! Do you always
get a king-size bed?
- Huh? Uh, yeah.
- I love a king-size bed.
The only time I ever get to
sleep in one is if I'm with one
of the headliners from the show.
- Look, um, Liv...
- Tom Jones. He was the best.
He let me stay in his room for
the whole month he was there last year.
He was really nice to me.
So, you, uh,
slept with Tom Jones.
- It wasn't like that. We didn't do that.
- Oh, I see.
You spent a month
sleeping with Tom Jones...
in his Vegas hotel room,
and you never had sex?
No.
Well, what exactly
did you do for Tom?
I kept him from being lonely,
like I'm gonna do for you.
We're family, Daddy. I've waited
my whole life to spend time with you.
I'm not cut out for this.
Just like that?
Look, can we just
deal with this later?
I gotta go
to work.
- Singing?
- Yeah. I'm a singer.
That's what I do for a living.
This is a karaoke bar.
Yeah, with a ton
of prize money.
Can I watch you work?
No.
Why?
Because
you wouldn't understand.
How would you
know that?
I just know it.
- You think I'm stupid?
- No.
Look, I do a solo,
that's all.
- [Coughs]
- Well, well.
Sleeping Beauty stirs.
Where am I?
Missouri. Six more states
and we're home free.
There's a layer of puke
on the side of the car...
that looks and smells
like rancid guacamole.
I told you to take some aspirin
last night, but you were,
like, totally trashed.
I've gotta get home.
You don't have a home, junior.
I bet you got a headache.
Sort of, yeah.
You alcoholics
are all the same.
I'm not an alcoholic.
I'm not.
Whatever you say.
I'm not the judge and jury.
I got my own problems.
Ooh. Do I detect a note
of interest this morning?
I told you I'd be nice to you
if you took me to California.
I tried to be nice, but you were
like permanently at half-mast,
- Like a nation in mourning.
- Listen,
I can drop you somewhere and,
you know...
I can drop you at the bus station
or the interstate.
- Wherever you wanna go,
I can drop you.
- I wanna go to California.
No, um,
I mean here, now.
I mean in
the immediate vicinity.
We gotta paint the cab.
And what would lead you to think
I would paint my cab?
We gotta paint the cab because the dildo
who's drilling your ex-girlfriend...
is gonna be
coming after his half.
He can have it
as far as I'm concerned,
but not until
we get to California.
If you think I'm gonna drive you
to California, you're delusional.
Well, it's better than crawling back
on your hands and knees...
to those two losers,
isn't it?
[Sighs]
I like the Cotton Candy Fuchsia,
don't you, Billy?
- Very daring.
- I must say, you are a connoisseur.
That is our top of the line
signature hue.
Now, is this part of
the $99 special?
Alas, quality
does not come cheap.
That is a creme de la creme
paint job...
for a creme de la creme
price.
The Cotton Candy series
goes for 173.99, tax included.
Okay. We'll take it,
right, Billy?
Oh, defnitely.
Excellent choice.
How'd you like to pay for that?
Cash, check,
credit card?
Uh, well, we're a little short
on money right now, sir,
but I'll consider it an honor
and a privilege to suck your dick.
[Machinery Whirring]
[Rock]
- Pushing it kinda hard, ain't you?
- Then you drive.
- I told you. I don't know how.
- I'll teach ya.
- No, man!
- Come on. It's easy.
I'm sure.
I just don't wanna do it.
A guy your age doesn't know how
to drive, it's ridiculous. Ah...
[Tires Screeching]
Islands in the stream
That is what we are
No one in between
- How can we be wrong
- Oh, shit.
- What?
- It's duets night.
And we rely on each other
- Uh-huh
- Can you carry a tune at all?
- Oh, I do okay.
- Yeah? Back me up?
I-I don't know.
It's... It's...
- Oh, hello there.
- Hi.
- Uh, what's the money tonight?
- It's $50.
- Each?
- Where do you think you are,
pal, Austin?
- Huh.
- No, the real big money's
up in Omaha this Saturday.
- Oh? How much?
- Five grand.
If you win here,
you qualify.
Well, show me the menu.
Thank you.
Mmm.
Can you handle this?
- "Try A Little Tenderness," please.
- Uh-huh.
Thank you very much.
Might think about slowin' down
on those, pal.
What are you, my mother?
Come on.
- What's the, um...
- This is the screen
I was telling you about.
The words
just come up there,
and as they change color,
you just sing along with it.
- As they change color, you just sing.
- Don't worry about it.
Okay, uh, I'm gonna have
to take a rain check, pal.
Why? Don't worry about it.
Just lip-synch or something.
- I'll carry the whole thing.
- No, no.
- I'll carry the whole thing.
- Really, really, I can't.
Oh, look, it's duets night.
Live in the moment.
I will drive you anywhere
in the goddamn country...
if you will
do this for me.
I swear to God.
- Come on. How you gonna beat that deal?
- [Music Starts]
Come on.
Just stand there.
That's all I need.
Please.
Oh, she may be weary
And young girls
they do get wearied
Wearin'that same old
shaggy dress
Yeah, yeah, yeah
But when
she gets weary
She gets weary
Try a little tenderness
- Tenderness
- Yeah, yeah
- Yeah, yeah
- Hey now
Come over here.
Come here. Come on.
I know she's waiting
Just anticipating
The things
- That she'll never
- Never
- Never, never possess
- Never, never possess, no
While she's there waiting
Ooh, she's waiting
Just tell me what to do,
Reginald, please.
Try a little tenderness
That's all
you gotta do
[Audience Applauds]
It's not
Just sentimental
No, no, no
No, no, no, no
She has her grief and cares
Yeah
- But the soft words
- You seen these guys before?
- They are spoke so gentle
- All right.
Oh, makes it easier
Easier
Easier to bear
- Ha!
- Oh, now you won't regret it, no, no
Young girls
they don't forget it
Love is their only happiness
- Yeah
- Yeah, yeah
- [Woman] Yeah!
But it's all so easy
All so easy
All you got to do
is try a little
- Tenderness
- Try a little tenderness
Yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
- You got to squeeze her
Don't tease her
- [Audience Clapping In Rhythm]
Never leave her
You got to, got to, got to
got to, got to, got to
Try a little tenderness
- Hey, hey, yeah, yeah
- Hey, hey, yeah, yeah
- Hey, hey, all you got to do now
- Yeah
- Ohhhh, you got to
- You got to
Squeeze her
Don't tease her
- Never leave her
- Never leave her
Na, na-na, wa, na-na, ow
Try a little tenderness
- Yeah, ohhhh
- Ooh, now, oh
Don't lose her now
You got to squeeze her
Don't tease her
Never leave her
[Scatting]
Try a little tenderness
- Ow! Whoo!
- Whoo!
[Cheering, Applause]
That was great!
Oh. Yeah.
You boys were great.
Me and Scott here were gonna
give it a shot tonight,
but after hearing you,
we ain't even gonna try.
Hey, thank you.
Superb.
[Car Horn Blaring]
- Wahhh...
- That's excellent, excellent, excellent.
Mmm. Mm!
- Try passing somebody.
- Are you crazy?
No, no, no.
Now, on the left, of course.
On the left, left, left, left.
Always on the left.
Always pass on the left,
Reginald,
unless, of course, the right
is the only thing open.
Cardinal rule
of American business.
- [Tires Screeching]
- [Todd] Oh, very good!
Very smoothly done!
- Hey, hey, hey!
- [Laughing]
You've done this before,
huh, hotshot?
This is good. You don't want
to pass this up. Pass him.
- No. Todd...
- Pass it!
- Oh, f... Pass it, loser!
- Hey!
- Hey, hey.
- How can a guy who sings
like you be such a loser?
Pass it!
- That's it! Yeah!
- Whoo!
Keep going.
Yes! Oh!
You're doin'beautiful!
[Todd Muttering]
- [Horn Blaring]
- Whoo!
[Reginald Screaming]
[Both Laughing]
Whoo!
[Coughing]
Whoo!
[Reginald Laughing]
[Panting]
Yours?
Oh, Reginald.
[Chuckles]
You have little hidden corners.
- Never mind that.
- Oh, what do you do with this thing?
- You don't wanna know.
- Oh, uh, you're wrong about that.
Show me.
No.
No more driving lessons
if you don't.
Fine. " No more
driving lessons."
Do you want to depend on people
for rides for the rest of your life?
- Come on. Show me
what you do with the gun.
- You don't want to know!
Get out!
Fine.
Hey... No...
Fu... Fuck.
No, it's not fne.
It's pathetic.
You sing like an angel, and you don't
even know how to drive a car?
That is what is wrong
with the entire culture, Reggie.
It's why I...
me personally...
why I destroyed the breeding ground
for an entire race of turtles,
all in the name
of a water slide, Reggie!
[Chuckles]
You're crazy.
I think you
need some sleep.
- Get some sleep for me.
- Sure.
- You're right.
- Really?
- Really?
- Sure.
Let's go.
[Coughing]
She'll expose you
when she snows you
Off your feet with the crumbs
she throws you
- She's ferocious
- [Patrons Whistling]
And she knows just what
it takes to make a pro blush
All the boys
think she's a spy
She's got
Bette Davis eyes
And she'll tease you
She'll unease you
All the better
just to please you
She's precocious
And she knows just what
it takes to make a pro blush
All the boys
think she's a spy
She's got Bette Davis eyes
And she'll
tease you
She'll unease you
Just to please you
She's got Bette Davis eyes
She'll expose you
When she snows you
And she knows you
She's got Bette Davis eyes
She's got Bette Davis eyes
She's got Bette Davis eyes
[Patrons Cheering,
Whistling, Applauding]
- Yeah!
- Amazing.
- [Liv] I was so scared.
- [Man] Oh, no, baby. You were great.
You know, you could go real far
with the right coaching.
Oh, my God, what are
you going as?
What exactly
are you doing here?
- I wanted to see you sing.
- Is that right?
You gonna enter this
little contest of ours?
I don't know. What do they
call it, anyway? " Karate-okee"?
Looks a little stupid.
Could I win a free drink or something?
- [Man Chuckles]
- [Ricky] And who are you?
Oh, well, this is Buddy.
Buddy is the champion around here.
He wins the prize money
every time, don't you, Buddy?
- Well, that's what they say.
- [Chuckles]
Oh, and this here is Clark.
This is Buddy's manager.
Manager? You must be
some singer, Buddy.
That's right.
Buddy here's the best on the circuit.
- Looks like my boy's gonna
bring home the bacon again.
- Your boy?
Oh, I get it. You two guys
are lovebirds. Is that the deal?
Who are you, mister?
I'm a guy who's willing to
bet you a thousand bucks...
on top of the purse...
that I can blow
your ass offstage.
What do you say?
All right.
No, Buddy.
Something don't smell right here.
Come on, Buddy.
It'll be fun.
Marlene, you got yourself
another entry.
Goddamn it, Buddy.
Let's just get the bartender
to hold this bet.
I'll hold it.
You really
his manager?
Number fve.
Crank it up.
[Background Singers On Tape]
Shooby-doo bop, bop, pow, ah
My heart is cryin', cryin'
Lonely teardrops
My pillow's never dry of
- Lonely teardrops
- [Patrons Cheering]
Come home
Come home
Watch my back.
Just say you will
Say you will
- Say ...
- You're some kind of goddamn
hustler, ain't you, boy?
- You know what we do
to hustlers around here?
- Yeah. You lose.
[Screaming]
- [Groaning]
- [Screaming Continues]
[Tires Screeching]
- [Man] Can I help you?
- Yeah, we'd like a couple rooms.
Okay,
they're $79 apiece.
No problem.
I've got this.
- This would be what?
- This would be
800,000 frequent flier miles.
And so?
So you've got
a room credit offer.
Um, no, we don't.
Oh, yes, you do, because I've read about
it in a thousand in-flight magazines.
Did you read
about it yesterday?
No, I didn't fly yesterday.
I drove with my friend here.
Well, that's too bad. You might have
read that yesterday the offer ended.
[Sighs]
This offer never really
existed anywhere, right?
- Listen, if you have cash...
- Oh, yes, I've got cash.
- I have got more credit cards...
- Hey...
than a New York
debutante.
I've got stocks, bonds,
and a dozen lines of credit.
But I have been buying
this mileage dream...
with my poor addled brain
for years now,
and it turns out to be
totally meaningless, doesn't it?
Gimme that, man!
Gimme that...
This whole offer is just like every
other pipe dream in the U.S.A., right?
- [Reggie]
Come on, man. Put down the gun!
- Just another cynical...
stock-job sucker punch on us poor,
dumb commercial believers.
It's a '90s version
of religious persecution, you know?
You people, you are terrifying!
Okay, okay.
I can give you two rooms.
I'll even throw in an upgrade.
Really. You hear that?
- Give it.
- No, just a second.
- [Laughing]
- Be cool, man.
Absolutely. Sure.
Whatever you say.
Bye now. Bye.
Really?
Thank you.
Okay, we're in
the executive suite.
Let me guess.
You wanna sleep in a bed
tonight or not?
- What?
- I don't understand you.
[Snickers]
You don't have to understand me.
What I do is just a hustle.
No, it's not about
a damn hustle.
It's about
humiliating yourself.
It's about denigrating
yourself because you can't deal
with the possibility of failure.
You're the loser here.
You're the underachiever.
What's it like going around
being everybody's conscience?
- Doesn't it get lonely?
- Don't you, trying to be
everybody's wet dream?
Listen, you loser. You got nowhere
to go and nothing to go back to.
You're just another poor lost soul
leading a life of quiet desperation.
I'm gonna be the only major thing that
has ever happened to you in your life,
and you're gonna be jerkin' off
to my memory on your deathbed.
- If I was you, I'd just sit back
and enjoy the ride.
- How'd you get like this?
Hmm.
- Ah...
- Hey, this ain't Kmart, pal.
Find what you need
and get out.
- Did you hear me?
- Uh-huh.
I've lived my life in sales.
Being hostile to a consumer
is very counterproductive.
That's it.
Get the fuck out.
[Gunshot]
Jesus Christ.
[Liquid Pouring On Floor]
Gimme the gun.
- Come on, man.
- Why?
- Gimme the gun.
- No.
- Fucker.
Shut up!
[Chuckling]
- Oh! Gimme that!
- Huh?
[Todd]
Oh! [Giggling]
- [Reggie] Come on! Go!
- [Todd Laughing]
[Reggie]
Get down!
[Gunshots]
Reginald,
are you angry with me?
You're strung out, man.
You need some sleep.
No, no, no.
You are so wrong, my brother.
I have never been more awake
in my entire life.
You're just mad because
I'm on to your little secret.
- And that would be what?
- Oh, the power of life and death.
Bam, bam, bam!
John Wayne I am!
[Chuckling]
It's a viable alternative
to a life in sales.
[Scoffs]
Hmm.
What?
Tsk.
I know that look.
That is the Candy Woods
look of disdain, isn't it?
I wouldn't know.
Never met her.
Hey...
Uh... Here.
Candy Woods.
She specializes
in plastic runners.
- [Laughing]
- These your kids?
Mm-hmm.
Julie and Carson.
Kind of pretty.
You think so?
- I gotta use the bathroom.
- Fine.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Stay in the car.
Fine.
You know what the hangover
is for killing?
[Sighs]
No. I give up.
Doom.
[Phone Ringing]
- Hello?
- [Reggie] Mrs. Todd Woods?
- Yes.
- How soon can you get to
Omaha, Nebraska, Mrs. Woods?
I'll close my eyes
Then I won't see
The love you don't feel
When you're holding me
Morning will come
And I'll do what's right
Just give me till then
To give up
this fight
And I will
give up this fight
'Cause I can't
make you love me
If you don't
You can't make
your heart feel
Somethin'
it won't
Here in the dark
In these fnal hours
I will lay down my heart
And I feel
the power
But you won't
No, you won't
'Cause I can't
make you love me
If you don't
[Cheering]
I think it's clear.
We have a winner.
The $500 grand prize winner
this evening, ladies and gentlemen,
is Suzi Loomis.
As if... As if
I have to tell you,
Suzi, you now qualify
to sing in Omaha...
on Saturday night
for $5,000.
Here you go, darlin'.
Congratulations.
Let's hear it. Suzi Loomis,
ladies and gentlemen.
[Cheering, Applause]
- You were really great.
- Not too shabby, huh?
Way to go, baby. Let's not forget
our agreement, huh?
- I mean, a deal's a deal. Come on!
- No, no, no, no, no.
I think you should just leave it alone,
all right?
- [Beeping]
- That's Mr. And Mrs. Dean?
Mr. And Miss.
We're here
for the contest.
That reservation was
for one room or two?
- Two rooms.
- Adjoining, if possible.
Oh, I'm sure that
can be arranged.
Great.
I'll register you in. Don't worry.
I won't cramp your style.
What's this?
[Sighing]
It's the end of the road.
They got karaoke?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, this hotel has
a mileage upgrade offer.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- You do it.
- Okay.
Will you look at this place?
We could be anywhere.
- Yeah, I guess we could. Hi.
- Hello.
Oh, I'm sorry. We're not
accepting this right now.
But we do accept
all major credit cards.
- Hey.
- Huh?
- Get a room like everybody else.
- What do you think?
- You're funny.
- I am? Why?
- Because I make you nervous.
- No, you don't.
You act
like I do.
I wanted to be a ballerina,
did you know that?
[Sighs] But Donna had her heart set
on us working side by side.
She never really said so,
but I could tell.
You always refer to your mom
by her frst name?
Only since we started
working at the Dunes,
because she said that me calling
her "mom" made her feel old.
She used to talk
about you a lot, you know.
Did you
ever miss her?
I don't know.
I suppose so.
Well, she could not
sing at all. [Chuckles]
But I used to love it
when she would,
and she would always sing
the same song over and over...
like a broken record.
And, uh,
it went, like...
You're gonna
fly away
Glad you're
goin' my way
I love it when
we're cruisin' together
Smokey Robinson.
- You know it.
- Sure.
It was one
of our favorites.
Music is
played for love
Cruisin' is
made for love
Hey, why'd you come
to Donna's funeral?
Look, um, you know,
I don't wanna get into it.
I mean, I just feel like
we're circling the inevitable.
What does that mean?
Well, you have this childlike dream
that we're always gonna be together.
It's an unrealistic
fantasy.
I mean, it's just not
who I am. I'm sorry.
You know, you are so busy
pushing people away and trying
to be something that you're not,
that when something real fnally comes
into your life, you can't deal with it.
Well, I am here. I am alive.
I am your daughter.
Whether you want to take responsibility
for it or not, it's a fact.
I mean, what kind of person doesn't
acknowledge his own child?
I'm not asking you
for the moon.
I am asking you
for a hand,
to reach out,
and you can't even do that.
And you feel sorry for me?
I feel sorry for you.
- [Water Running]
- [Knocking]
[Faucet Squeaks,
Water Stops]
[Knocking]
Todd?
Jesus.
What are you doing?
- Talk to your wife, man, not to me.
- No.
I wanna talk to you. What the hell
do you think you're doing?
Trying to save
your life.
I love you, man.
Are you gay, Todd?
- Is that what's happening?
- No, Mrs. Woods, we're not gay.
- [Chuckles]
- Your husband has been kind to me.
He's been a friend.
- But now he's headed down this path.
- Oh, that's right.
That's right. A path.
For once in my life, it's a real path.
It's not some cheap, plastic
corporate illusion of a path.
It's a real path to the real meaning
of the real truth.
You know, I have actually
computed in my head...
the odds of getting
the same rental car twice...
in a lifetime
of business travel,
and do you know what they are?
Do you know
how many actual...
sense memories I have of being
in the same off-white...
Chevy Caprice
from the Alamo people...
in the Dallas-Fort Worth area
alone?
No.
It would blow your mind.
[Sniffling]
It's nothing either one of you people
can obviously ever comprehend.
I don't know
what's going on, Todd,
but I'm frightened.
Don't be frightened,
Mrs. Woods.
Nothing's happened that can
come back to haunt you,
- if he stops now.
- Stops what?
Huh? Who are you?
I'm a friend.
Oh.
Your husband has made
an error in judgment.
I would be pleased
to take all the blame.
For what?
Todd, what is going on?
I'm getting really confused here,
and I don't get it.
- Because I ask you...
- I say we take the country back
from the McDonalds...
and the Pizza Huts
and the Wendys.
I say we tear down all those strip malls
and we get back in touch...
with the inner core.
Oh, my God, Todd!
Would you be cool?
- Wha...
- Be cool.
[Sniffling]
I gotta go.
Why?
You just got here.
Did I say something
that offended you?
You're just
plain insane.
I'm just a little tired
of the American Dream.
Hello, everybody. Are you
ready to rock the house?
[People Cheering, Shouting,
Whistling, Applauding]
Okay, welcome to
Omaha, Nebraska.
You've all qualifed to sing
here tonight from just about
every state in the Union,
and the winner
gets to take home $5,000.
- [Cheering, Applause]
- Are you excited? I am... I am excited.
It should be an amazing night.
So let the games begin.
- [Loud Cheering, Whistling]
- Whoo!
[Scatting]
For the frst time
in history
It's gonna start
rainin' men
- Start rainin'men
- It's rainin' men
At break of day
when that man drove away
I was waiting
I crossed the street
to her house
And she opened
the door
She stood there laughing
- Hi. You a contestant?
- Yeah, Ricky Dean.
- My daughter set me up earlier.
- Yep. I got you down.
You go on in about
20 minutes, okay?
- Will you be using your own CD?
- Not tonight.
- Can I see your menu?
- Sure.
- My Delilah
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
- Oh, jeez. I'm sorry. Sorry about that.
- Oh!
It's okay.
["Strangers In The Night"
Playing]
Up to the moment
when we said our first hello
Little did we know
Love was just
a glance away
A warm embracing
dance away
And ever since
that night
- We've been together
- Hey.
- Lovers at first sight
- Hi.
- Hi.
- In love forever
- Uh, we bumped into
each other in the lobby.
- I know.
- It turned out so right
For strangers
in the night
Doo-bee doo-bee doo
Doo doo doo dee doo
Da dee da dee da
da dee da da dee da
- An angel just passed.
- What's that?
My mom used to say that when
nobody talked for a minute...
that an angel just passed.
Oh.
- Are you gonna sing?
- Me? No. No, no, no.
I don't know how
to sing. I mean...
Everybody knows how to sing,
it's just I'm not good at it.
Oh, come on.
I bet you're just being modest.
[Hostess]
Let's bring out our next singer.
All right. Are you guys
ready for the song stylings...
of Miss Suzi Loomis?
[Cheering, Whooping,
Whistling]
Suzi Loomis? No?
Suzi Loomis.
[Hostess]
Going once. Suzi Loomis going twice.
- Nope?
- Would you excuse me?
- We'll give you a chance
to come up here.
- Yeah.
- In the meantime,
let's just move down the list.
- Okay.
You kids ready?
Yeah? Okay.
Let's bring out
Tonia and Hobie Kasper.
Bom bom bom bom
bom bom bom bom bom
Bom bom bom bom bom bom
Ba ding-a-ding ding
- Blue moon
- Blue, blue, blue, blue moon
[Coughing]
[Coughing]
[Exhaling]
- [Sniffling]
- They called your name.
Are you all right?
[Chuckles]
Can't you tell?
[Gasping]
You're sick?
[Sniffling]
Scared shitless.
Ugh.
You were right, you know?
I'm the loser.
[Sniffling]
I was just too dumb to notice.
You happy?
Now, go away and let me
die in peace, please.
You know, I was
gonna be a priest.
[Laughing]
Really, I was. Black robe
and the collar, the whole deal.
I was, uh... I was about
to graduate the seminary.
Yeah... I don't know
what happened. I don't.
Ever since I was a kid,
I believed that there was some
greater purpose for my life.
You know? I-I thought it was
my calling to help people.
- It's such a crock. It's a crock.
- No.
My third-grade teacher said the world's
a sewer and we're all living in hell.
Wow. Tough class.
Listen.
I-I'm always gonna believe
the world's beautiful...
and people are
basically decent.
And if that's gonna keep me
from ftting in,
then I'd rather go through this whole
life like a complete and utter retard,
rather than have to accept
somebody else's miserable reality.
Do you know
what I mean?
Do you wanna
help me up?
Yeah.
[Grunting]
Where do you think they think
we're gonna put the TVs...
if they weren't bolted
to the furniture?
- You got me.
- Yeah.
[Chuckling]
You look great.
Good. 'Cause I
wanna win tonight.
- I want the fve thou.
- Me too.
- Ah, I don't think you're up to it.
- What are you talkin' about?
No, it would be funny,
us not doing a duet.
Pretty night tonight.
I'm really sorry
about what happened.
He shouldn't have shot at us.
That was stupid.
Uh-huh. He made
an error in judgment.
Uh.
[Chuckles]
So did you.
- [Sighs]
- Your wife seems like
a very decent person.
Yeah.
She fooled me too.
Now, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, man.
Come on. Enough.
- I'm trying to keep you
from throwing your life away.
- Why?
I'm through livin'
in a middle-class prison.
You don't know anything
about livin' in prison.
I'll... I'll... I'll be good.
I promise.
- [Sighs]
- Let's just go downstairs.
[Snickers]
I never met
anybody like you.
[Hostess] All right, Omaha.
Are we having a good time?
- [Crowd] Yeah!
- Yeah?
Okay. Well, we found her this time,
so let's try this again, okay?
Let's give a nice,
warm round of applause...
to Miss Suzi Loomis.
Hey, hey-ey
Yeah, yea-ah
Sweet dreams
are made of this
Who am I to disagree
I travel the world
and the seven seas
Everybody's
lookin' for somethin'
Some of them
want to use you
Some of them want
to get used by you
Some of them
want to abuse you
Some of them
want to be abused
[Crowd Cheering]
Sweet dreams
are made of this
Who am I to disagree
I travel the world
and the seven seas
Everybody's
lookin' for somethin'
[Singers On CD]
Sweet dreams are made of this
Sweet dreams
are made of this
- Sweet dreams are
- Sweet dreams
[Loud Cheering, Whistling]
Do you think
I'm a good person?
Yeah, I do.
I wish I did.
I wish a lot of things.
Everybody does.
What do you
wish for?
Um...
All the things
I never did...
- When I had a chance to do 'em.
- [Bell Dings]
[Door Sliding Open]
[Sighing]
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
with your permission,
I'd like to introduce
my daughter, Liv.
[Man]
Yeah!
Baby, let's cruise
Away
From here
Don't be confused
The way
Is clear
And if you want it
you got it forever
This is not
a one-night stand
Baby
- Yeah, so
- So
Let the music
take your mind
Just release
and you will find
You're gonna fly away
Glad you're goin' my way
I love it when
we're cruisin' together
- Have a seat.
- Music is played for love
- Cruisin'is made for love
- You gonna be all right
by yourself for a while?
I love it when we're
cruisin'together
Cerveza, por favor.
Cruise with me, baby
Cruise
Yeah
Cruise
- Oh, baby, let's cruise
- Oh, baby, let's cruise
[Liv]
Let's float
Let's glide
Ooh-ooh, let's open up
And go
Inside
And if you want it
you got it forever
I could just stay here
beside you and love you, baby
Let the music
Take your mind
Just release and
You will fnd
You're gonna fly away
Glad you're goin' my way
I love it when
we're cruisin' together
Music is played for love
Cruisin' is made for love
- I love it when
- I love it
I love it I love it
I love it
[Cheering,
Applause]
Her name was Lola
She was a showgirl
With yellow feathers
in her hair
And her dress
cut down to there
She would merengue
and do the cha-cha
And while she tried to be a star
Tony always tended bar
Across the crowded floor
They worked from 8 till 4
They were young
and they had each other
- Who could ask for more
- At the Copa
At the Copa
Copacabana
The hottest spot
north of Havana
At the Copa
Copacabana
Music and dancing
were always the fashion
At the Copa
Don't fall in love
Copacabana
Copacabana
Copacabana
[Cheering,
Applause, Whistling]
All right, ladies and gentlemen.
It is sure gonna be tough
to pick a winner tonight.
Okay, our next contestant,
Mr. Reggie Kane.
[Applause]
What tune can I spin
for you tonight, Mr. Kane?
I'm gonna make
my own music tonight, ma'am.
This song is for
a friend of mine.
He taught me
to drive.
If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me
For I must be
travelin' on now
'Cause there's too many places
I've got to see
For if I stay here
With you now
Things just couldn't be
the same
'Cause I'm as free
As a bird now
And this bird
you cannot change
Oh-oh
And this bird
you cannot change
Lord knows
I can't change
Lord knows
[Laughing]
I can't change
[Audience Gasps, Screams]
[Todd]
No! Reggie! Reggie!
[Groaning]
[Panting]
And they say our society
has lost its fnesse.
[Laughing]
Oh, my God. Man...
Go home.
May I sit?
Be my guest.
Thought you
might like something.
Brought you
something else.
[Snickers]
I can't go back
to who I was.
I'm different now.
I sing.
I'm sorry
about your friend.
You must have really
cared about him.
[Sighs]
I know I haven't
said this in a long time,
but I love you
very much.
Oh, she may be weary
And young girls
they do get wearied
Wearing that same old
shaggy dress
But when she
gets weary
Try a little tenderness
- Hey.
- Hi.
How ya doin'?
- I can't believe what happened
last night.
- I know.
- Somebody said he was
an escaped convict or something.
- Mornin'.
- All paid up.
- I just don't believe that.
He seemed so sweet,
and he sang so beautifully.
Yeah. I never heard
" Free Bird" sung like that.
- Is that yours?
- Yeah.
- Nice paint job.
- Thanks.
- [Suzi] There you are.
- Hey, you all ready to go?
Let's get the show on the road.
California, here I come.
Hey, something wrong there,
honey?
- No, I'm just sad.
- Yeah, I know.
Well, if it's of any interest, there's
a $2,000 purse in Sparks, Nevada.
Nevada? Nevada's
on the way to California.
Just a slight detour.
What do you say?
- How could I refuse?
- [Chuckling]
Listen, it was really great
meetin' you guys.
Hey, would you like
to share our cab?
Why not?
You know, I already know
the answer to this, but I'm
gonna ask the question anyway.
Fire away.
I have 800,000
frequent flier miles...
that I never
have been able to use.
You don't by any chance
accept them for travel?
Of course we do.
Oh.
Well.
And they say that our society
has lost its fnesse.
Each day
through my window
I watch him
as he passes by
And I say to myself
I'm so lucky
he's so fly
To have a boy like him
Is truly
a dream come true
Out of all
the girlies in the world
He belongs to you
But it was just
my imagination
Runnin'away with me
Tell you
it was just my imagination
Runnin'away with me
Soon we'll be married
And raise a family
Oh, yeah
Have a cozy little crib
in the country
With two children
maybe three
I tell you I
Can visualize it all, baby
Ooh
It couldn't be a dream
'Cause too real
it all seems
Oh-oh, oh, oh
But it was just
my imagination
Ooh, once again, yeah
- Runnin'away with me
- Running away with me
- Tell you it was just my imagination
- Running away
Runnin'away with me
Me, yeah, yeah
Hoo
Every night
on my knees I pray
Dear Lord
Hear my plea, yeah
Don't ever let another
take his love from me
Or I will surely die
- Her love is
- Heavenly
When your arms enfold me
I hear a tender rhapsody
- But in reality
- Ooh
He doesn't even know me
- Just my imagination
- Ooh, he's so fly
I look out my window
- Runnin'away with me
- It's runnin'away with me, baby
[Music Changes]
Oh, now you won't regret it
No, no
Young girls
they don't forget it
Love
is their only happiness
Yeah, yeah, yeah
But it's all so easy
All so easy
All you got to do
Is try a little tenderness
Try a little tenderness
Yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
You got to squeeze her
Don't tease her
Never leave her
You got to, got to, got to
got to, got to, got to
Try a little tenderness
- Hey, hey
- Hey, hey
- Yeah, yeah, hey, hey
- Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
You got to squeeze her
Don't tease her
Never leave her
[Scatting]
Try a little tenderness
Yeah
Yeah, yeah
Oh, don't lose her now
You got to squeeze her
Don't tease her
Never leave her
- You got to
- [Scatting]
Try a little tenderness
[Man Laughing,
Blows Raspberry]