Edward Scissorhands (1990) Movie Script
Snuggle in, sweetie.
It's cold out there.
Why is it snowing,
Grandma?
Where does it
come from?
Oh, that's a long story,
sweetheart.
I want to hear.
Oh, not tonight.
Go to sleep.
I'm not sleepy.
Tell me, please.
Well, all right.
Let's see.
I guess it would have
to start with scissors.
Scissors?
Well, there are
all kinds of scissors,
and once there
was even a man
who had scissors
for hands.
A man?
Yes.
Hands, scissors?
No, scissor hands.
You know the mansion
on top of the mountain?
It's haunted.
Well...
a long time ago,
an inventor lived
in that mansion.
He made many things,
I suppose.
He also created a man.
He gave him insides,
a heart, a brain,
everything.
Well, almost everything.
You see,
the inventor was very old.
He died before
he got to finish
the man he invented,
so the man was left
by himself...
incomplete and all alone.
He didn't
have a name?
Of course
he had a name.
His name was Edward.
Avon calling.
Weren't you
just here?
No, not since last season.
I've come to show you
our exquisite new line
of softer colors
in shadows,
blushes, and lipstick.
Everything you need to accent
and highlight your changing look.
My changing look.
That's good.
Well, it goes
without saying
I have a complete selection
of your old favorites...
those tried-and-true
products
we've all
come to depend on.
Peg, I never buy anything from you.
You know that.
I know. Bye, Helen.
You didn't have
to call me, ma'am.
You could have
taken care of this yourself.
I could?
I don't think so.
Yeah. It's easy.
Your food trap's clogged.
That's all.
See this bulb here?
You just unscrew this.
Mm-hmm.
And out she pops.
On TV they say repairmen
are lonely.
Housewives get lonely, too.
You may not
realize it.
They haven't made a commercial
on the subject.
Put this back in here
nice and easy.
Be careful
not to force it
because it fits
in there by itself.
Oh, now who could that be?
Will you excuse me
for a moment?
Now, don't go anywhere.
I'll be right back.
This is fascinating.
I wouldn't want
to miss a moment of it.
Good morning, Joyce.
Avon calling.
Why, Peg,
have you gone blind?
Can't you see there's a vehicle
in my driveway?
Oh... yes.
I'm surprised you don't realize
that means I'm busy.
Now we should
decide on lipsticks.
What one did
you like best?
There was
the Winsome Wahini,
which looked charming on you,
or the Bahimini Bliss.
I like them both.
Well, great.
You don't actually think I have
any money, do you?
Ding dong,
the Avon lady
It's just not my day.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, it's so beautiful.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Avon calling.
Oh, my.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello. I'm Peg Boggs.
I'm your local
Avon representative.
Hello?
I'm sorry
to barge in like this,
but you don't have
any reason to be afraid.
Ooh! This is some huge house,
isn't it?
Thank goodness
for those aerobics...
classes.
Hello?
Hello?
Why are you
hiding back there?
You don't have
to hide from me.
I'm Peg Boggs.
I'm your local Avon
representative,
and I'm as harmless
as cherry p...
Oh, my.
I can see
I've disturbed you.
How stupid of me.
I'll be going now.
Don't go.
Oh, my.
What happened to you?
I'm not finished.
Oh! Put those down.
Don't come any closer.
Just... Please...
Those are your hands?
Those are your hands.
What happened to you?
Where are your parents?
Um...
your mother?
Your father?
He didn't wake up.
Are you alone? Do you live up here
all by yourself?
What happened
to your face?
Hmm.
No, I won't hurt you.
But at the very least,
let me give you
a good astringent,
and this will help
to prevent infection.
What's your name?
Edward.
Edward.
I think you should just come home
with me.
Ohh!
I'm... I'm sorry.
No, don't be.
You go ahead and look.
You have every reason
to be excited.
Oh! Are you OK?
Are you OK?
Hello.
Hi. Yeah, it's Marge.
I was standing outside,
talking to Carol,
and Peg drove by.
She had somebody in the car.
You get a good look?
No. Did she say
anything to you
about having a guest?
She didn't say anything.
She rang my doorbell
early this morning.
No. O.K.
I'll meet you on the corner.
Right. Bye.
Oh, damn.
Here we go, dear.
This is our house.
You can just go right in
and make yourself
at home, OK?
And have something to eat or drink
or whatever you...
Here, dear.
This is the front door here.
Here we go.
Right in here.
Joyce, I just saw
this strange guy
driving with Peg.
He looked kind of pale.
I'll be right there.
Don't do anything without me.
Bye.
Yes, be right there!
Here we are.
So... and this
is the living room,
and back here
are the bedrooms.
You want to see
the pictures.
All right.
Well, this is my husband Bill.
He's a bowling champion.
Do you know
what bowling is?
Bowling?
No. Well, here they
are at the lake fishing.
I think Kevin
looks a little glum
because they didn't
catch anything that day,
and, um, here's
my daughter Kim,
all dressed
for the junior prom.
She's a senior now,
if you can believe it.
She's camping in the mountains
with some friends,
but she'll be back
in a few days.
You can meet her then.
Isn't she beautiful?
That's my family.
Now, come along, dear.
I'll show you
the rest of the house,
then you can freshen up
and make yourself at home.
The kitchen's over there.
Help yourself to anything you want
to eat or drink.
Those are grapes.
Back here are the bedrooms.
Let me get you
some towels.
I'll see what we can
find for you to wear.
I think I have some of Bill's
old clothes in here.
This is perfect.
Here. These should
just fit you.
Oh! No, no,
don't be alarmed.
That's just the phone.
Go in Kim's room
and put these on.
I'll be
right with you.
No. No, he has scissors.
No, scissors.
That's right.
Well, he was born
up there or something.
Have you seen him before?
No. I don't think
he's been off the grounds
before today.
You're kidding.
How did you get together with him?
I have to go. I'll talk to you later,
Marge. Bye-bye.
I'm sorry, Edward.
I didn't...
Oh, dear. May I
help you with this?
Thank you.
There you go.
Oh, dear,
you've cut your face.
Let me get this
right off.
Does that hurt?
No.
No. Good. O.K.
Now let's get you dressed.
O.K.
There we go.
Very fine.
You look fine,
just fine.
Come on.
We can't wait for you.
You've got rollers
in your damn hair.
O.K.
Now...
what did I do
with my sci...
Edward, um, would you...
Thank you.
I have a doctor friend
who I think
could help you.
Really?
Yes.
Now, I can help
with the scars.
But I just
want to consult
the big Avon handbook
before doing anything.
Kevin.
Kevin.
It's not polite
to stare, dear.
Kevin, think how it
would make you feel
if somebody were
staring at you.
I wouldn't care.
I would, so don't do it!
This must be
quite a change
for you, right, Ed?
Edward.
I think he prefers Edward.
Yeah. Sure.
So, what have you
been doing up there
in that big old place?
I bet the view must be
spectacular, huh, Ed?
Edward.
Yes?
Um. No, um, I was just...
See all the way
to the ocean, huh?
Sometimes.
Bill, could I have the salt
and pepper, please?
Bill, dear, could I have
the salt and pepper, please?
Thank you.
Kevin.
Kevin.
Man, those things are cool.
You know,
I bet they're razor-sharp.
One karate chop
to a guy's neck...
Kevin.
Edward...
would you like some butter
for your bread?
Great.
Thank you.
Can I bring him
to show and tell on Monday?
Kevin, I've had enough.
You think you can sleep?
Things feel strange now,
but soon you'll
feel right at home.
Good night.
Good night.
The light concealing cream
goes on first.
Then you blend
and blend and blend.
Blending is the secret.
More concealing cream?
Your complexion is so fair...
This has a touch
of lavender in it.
Give it a try here.
Close enough.
Okay, this should do
the trick, here.
Hmm.
I have another idea.
We'll cover up the scars,
and start with a smooth surface.
Darn this stuff!
Hartley into the windup
and the strike one pitch.
Swung on and missed.
Strike two.
If it's a hit,
then the club has 12 hits.
But they still have 11
on the scoreboard.
And it's three to one.
0 and two
the count to Warren.
Now they change it
to 12 hits.
Turn it up, Kevin.
I can't hear it.
Kevin?
Hartley strikes,
the pitch is...
- hammered!
- Did you hear that?
No. Make it louder!
Way back... It's gone!
It's out of here.
It's history.
Dad...
look.
A grand slam
for Martinez
to make it
a five-run inning
and blow
this game to pieces.
I'll be darned.
They filled
the whole tape.
What's going on
over there, Peg? Call me.
Hi. It's Marge.
Who is he? Call me.
I hear it's pouring
rain in the mountains.
Think the kids are OK?
Hey, there, darlin'.
The gals are in a tizzy
about your secret visitor.
You can't keep him
a secret forever.
Well, it's just wonderful, Ed.
You have the whole family in there,
don't you?
Edward, come here.
No, no, no,
that's a terrible idea, son.
Go to the garage
and get the oilcan.
We don't want him
rusting up on us.
Edward, you did us?
Oh, Bill, it's us.
Yes, it is.
Oh, Edward!
It's not heaven he's from.
It's straight from
the stinking flames of hell.
The power of Satan is in him.
I feel it.
Have you poor sheep strayed so far
from the path?
We're not sheep.
Don't come near me.
That's right. Go on.
Get out of here. Run.
Edward, don't listen to her.
Don't worry about her,
Edward.
She's just
an old loony.
- Hi!
- Hi!
- Hi!
You all are hiding in there
like hermit crabs.
Hi, Joyce.
Shame on you,
keeping your unusual guest
all to yourself.
We think that's
mighty selfish of you.
Things have been
hectic around here.
That's sweet of you to want
to correct the situation.
When does
the barbecue begin?
Barbecue?
You intend
to introduce your guest
to your friends, right?
I'll bring coleslaw.
I'll bring dessert.
And I will bring
the ambrosia salad.
What time was it
that you said?
What time? Bill!
About 5:00?
Bill!
He has been sent
first to tempt you,
but it's not too late.
You must push him from you.
Expel him.
Trample down the
perversion of nature.
Oh, did you hear that?
He's a perversion of nature.
Why, isn't that exciting?
Ha ha ha ha.
See you later.
Bye-bye.
Thanks so much.
Bill!
Bill!
You really can't
have a picnic
or a barbecue
without deviled eggs.
They're just the best.
They make a thing.
Oh, dear, Edward!
That's wonderful!
I didn't know you chopped
the whole thing,
but we'll have
a really big...
All right.
It's just a nick.
There's no need
to be nervous.
You know Esmeralda
won't be here.
The rest of the neighbors,
they're really very nice.
There's no need
to be nervous.
They're so eager
to meet you.
You just have
to be yourself.
Myself?
That's right.
Just your own sweet self.
Thanks, Edward.
Hey. Play scissor-paper-stones
with us.
Play scissors what?
I got a doctor friend.
Might be able
to help you.
Hey, George Mi...
Whoa!
That's a heck of a handshake
you got there, Ed.
Harry! I saw you on
the golf course last week!
You got a dozen
of the melons...
Are you OK?
Do you want something to eat?
Are you hungry?
Do you want a cracker?
He's so different.
Completely different.
No kidding.
He's so...
Mysterious.
Yeah.
Do you imagine those
hands are hot or cold?
Just think what
a single snip could do.
Or undo.
Eddie. Eddie.
Oh. Oh.
The guys
and I were talking.
We'd like to invite you
to our card game.
Would you like that?
Only thing is,
you can't cut.
I have my own infirmity.
Never did me
a bit of harm.
Took some shrapnel
during the war.
Ever since then,
I can't feel a thing,
not a damn thing.
Don't let anybody
tell you
you have a handicap.
Who's handicapped?
My goodness.
Don't be ridiculous.
You're not handicapped.
You're...
What do they call that?
Exceptional.
My name's Joyce.
I noticed that
you have not tasted
any of the ambrosia salad
I made
especially for you.
Allow me.
Mmm.
You must try this.
It's my mother's recipe.
Let him chew,
for heaven sakes.
With your green thumb,
I could use your help.
Me, too.
There you go.
I want a row of angels.
He's promised to come
to my house first.
One more.
Haven't you, Eddie?
I did?
O.K., everybody,
grab your plates.
Soup's on.
I thought this
was shish kebab.
What?
I thought this
was shish kebab.
It was a figure of speech.
Don't take things
so literally.
"Let us pretend we're
in the drawing room,
and the hostess
is serving tea."
"Now, many numerous little questions
confront us.
Should the man rise
when he accepts
his cup of tea?
May lump sugar be taken
with the things?"
Hmm... no.
"Is it good form
to accept a second cup?
Now, should the napkin
be entirely unfolded
or should
the center crease
be allowed to remain?
It is so easy to commit
embarrassing blunders,
but etiquette tells us
just what
is expected of us
and guards us from all humiliation
and discomfort."
Mmm. Yes.
Boring.
Let us switch to, um...
to some poetry, hmm?
"There was an old man
from the cape
who made himself
garments of crepe.
When asked,
Will they tear?
He replied,
Here and there,
but they keep such
a beautiful shape. "
That's right.
Go ahead, smile.
It's funny.
That's right.
O.K., guys. We're home.
Shh.
I can't believe
everything's still sopping.
I can't wait to shower
and wash off the mildew.
My parents
set the alarm.
I'll sleep in the yard...
again.
I told you to call to say
we're coming back early.
Did you?
He'd rather
complain.
How else can I be
the center of attention?
You didn't
call your parents.
They don't run their house
like a police state.
Bye, guys.
See you later.
Bye.
Don't forget your arm.
Oh, yeah.
Come on, Jim. Let's go.
Aah!
There's somebody
in my room!
Go look! Look!
He's a murderer.
He has an ax.
He tried to kill me!
Everything's O.K.
It's all right.
Go back to bed.
Oh, my God!
All right. All right.
Who is he?
That's Edward.
What are you
talking about?
There is nothing
to be upset about.
No. Oh, no.
No, no, it's O.K.
We'll have you
set up here in a minute.
We got a full
queen-size bed here.
It's all made
and everything.
There you go.
What's the matter?
What's wrong?
She get you nervous?
You've been
cloistered away
in that castle too long.
You don't know anything
about the wonderful world
of teenaged girls.
They're all crazy.
Here, this will
straighten you out.
What is it?
Lemonade.
I don't know
what it is.
They reach
a certain age.
They develop
these gland things.
Their bodies swell up.
They go crazy.
Glands?
Yeah, glands.
I try not
to think about it.
Good, isn't it?
You stay
in Kevin's room tonight.
Tomorrow we'll fix
your room right up.
Why did you
bring him here?
I couldn't
leave him there.
You would've done
the same thing.
Why does he
have to stay here?
I'm surprised at you.
He can't help
the way he is.
Have a little sympathy.
I do have sympathy.
Then let's just say
a little greeting.
Come downstairs,
shake his hand...
Shake his hand?
Not literally.
You scared him
half to death.
I scared him
to death?
Hi, Bill.
I just wanted you two
to have
a proper introduction.
Edward, this is
our daughter Kim.
Kim, this is Edward,
who's going to live with us.
Hi.
Ooh!
Eddie!
Thirsty?
Hush up!
Shh. Quiet, now.
I can hardly hear
myself think.
Mama's precious
little baby girl.
Would you like a nice
cool glass of lemonade?
Lemonade?
One chop to a guy's neck,
and it's all over.
They're the sharpest
things in the world.
They can hack
through anything,
and...
I think they look weird.
They give me the creeps.
You should see the clown
in Miss Peters' yard.
Kim!
Oh, no.
That's him?
He's calling you, Kimba.
Stop it.
Edward!
You forgot your cookies.
Don't worry, Eddie.
She's waiting for you.
Edward said he had
lunch at Jackies today.
She just had her kitchen
completely redone.
I'll be darned.
New paint, cabinets, floors.
New microwave.
New silent dishwasher.
Isn't that wonderful?
Jim, didn't you tell me your mom
had her kitchen done?
My dad bought himself
a bunch of new toys.
Big-screen TV,
CD players,
VCR with four heads.
My goodness sake.
I wonder what it's like
to be that rich.
They keep things
pretty much locked up.
My father has his
own room for his stuff.
He won't even help me
buy an old car.
He wants you to pay for it yourself.
Builds character.
You'll appreciate it more.
Speaking of money,
I understand
you're not charging
for your gardening,
Edward.
Now, Bill, Marge
made him cookies today.
Sweetheart...
you can't buy the necessities of life
with cookies.
You can't buy a car
with cookies,
am I right, Jim?
That's true, sir.
You can't.
I can't eat that.
He used his hands.
I don't think
it's sanitary.
I'm sorry.
Honey, you want me
to help you clean that up?
No, that's O.K.
I'll be right back.
Alexis?
Oh, this can't
possibly be my Alexis.
She looks so beautiful.
Look at you.
She's gorgeous.
Thank you.
It won't be long.
She just has to decide
on the style,
and then
it will be fine.
She just has to decide
what style she wants.
I was hoping for something
big and bouffant,
you know,
kind of like mine.
Don't worry, kisses.
You'll be just fine.
You'll be so pretty.
Yes, you are.
Ooh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, Eddie, is there
anything you can't do?
You take
my very breath away.
I swear, look at this.
Have you ever cut
a woman's hair?
Would you cut mine?
That was the single
most thrilling experience
of my whole life.
They're getting
the head of the company!
I'm home!
Honey, we're in here!
Hi.
Hi.
What did you do
to your hair?
Edward cut it.
Isn't it wild?
Hello?
I can't believe
I'm talking to you in person.
This is such an honor.
Yes. He's right here.
Great. So then
you know all about him.
Uh-huh.
Well, that's exactly
what I've been using.
I've had a little trouble
getting it
the right consistency.
Yeah. Well, just a little.
Add 21 Red.
I'll try that.
Uh-huh.
And then a dash of 418.
Well, what imaginative suggestions.
I sure will.
Thank you so much.
Bye-bye.
No wonder she's
the head of the company.
She started as a sales
representative like me.
I've always wanted
to talk to her,
but until now,
I never had a reason.
Thanks, Edward.
She had some ideas?
You bet she did.
Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm.
I'll get that.
Edward, we're here.
Come on,
let's get you sharpened up.
You got it?
No. I can't believe this.
It's such a mess.
Hi.
Goodbye.
Bye-bye.
Do you have a key?
No.
I could've sworn
I put it here.
Well, we're stranded.
Wow.
Thanks.
Ed, what a guy.
Good job.
You didn't break it or scratch it
or anything.
Be a pal and yell
when Peg pulls in, huh?
Quite a story, yes?
Any questions for Edward?
Yeah.
Get way over.
Stand right up.
What's been the best part
of your new life?
The friends I've made.
Any other questions?
Have you ever thought of having
corrective surgery or prosthetics?
I know a doctor that might
be able to help you.
I'd like to meet him.
We'll get that name
after the show.
Anyone else?
Yes. Stand right up.
But if you had
regular hands,
you'd be
like everyone else.
Yes, I know.
I think he'd like that.
No one would think
you were special.
You wouldn't be on TV.
No matter what,
Edward will
always be special.
More questions?
Yes.
Stand right up.
Your work is so interesting,
distinctive, and unique.
Do you have plans to open your own
beauty salon?
Oh, there's an idea.
Anyone else?
Yeah.
Do you have
a girlfriend?
Ahh.
Sure, he does.
Right, Kim?
Right, Kim?
Now you got him started.
Knock it off,
bubble-butt.
You did it.
So?
How about it, Edward?
Is there some special
lady in your life?
Ha ha ha ha!
Uh, everything's
all right.
We'll take a break,
and we'll be right back
after these messages.
Why are you laughing?
He got hurt.
It was a little shock.
A little shock?
I wish we'd been taping that.
I'd give my left nut
to see that again.
Aren't you excited?
Oh, this is just so thrilling!
Wait till I show it to you.
It's perfect.
I want to call it
Shear Heaven.
Ha ha ha ha! Ohh.
And here we are!
Now, all along here,
I'm going to put a row of new mirrors,
and back along here,
well, I think...
Eddie, come along, doll.
And back here,
a whole row of new cosmetics.
And all along
this row here...
Peg could sell cosmetics.
Yeah, sure.
And this, of course,
is where we wash hair.
And here's where I stand
when I greet the customers.
But back in here is what
I really want to show you.
Eddie, this is what
I really want to show you.
Now, this is the storeroom
where we keep everything.
What I need from you is a decision.
I need you to help me make.
Oh, honey, no!
No, don't.
That's dangerous.
Now you just sit
right down there.
I have some smocks.
Would you like me
to model them for you?
Yes.
Oh-oh-oh
With these hands
I will cling
To you
I'm yours forever...
Now, this is my favorite
because it's yellow...
and what it's for
is to catch those
itchy little trimmings
that fall down your neck.
Ha ha.
And then there's this
old purple one, you know,
you kind of drape
around you like this.
With this heart...
I like that one.
Oh, Eddie.
Why, Eddie, you're trembling.
So am I.
I've been waiting
for this moment for so long.
With these hands
I'll provide
For you
Should there be
a stormy sea
I'll turn the tides
For you
And I'll never
Oh, no, I'll never
I'll never
let you go
Ooh...
Aah!
Edward!
Edward, you come back here!
You can't do that!
Velcro, sweetheart.
Velcro that hangs on
the dashboard.
I've never
seen that.
Sorry I'm late.
Hi, Edward.
Sorry, we had to go
ahead without you.
So, Edward,
did you have a productive day?
Mrs. Monroe showed me
where the salon's
going to be.
You could have
a cosmetics counter.
Oh, wouldn't
that be great?
Great.
And then she showed me
the back room
where she took
her clothes off.
Edward, I can't
say how thrilled I am.
I'm as pleased as punch.
This beauty
parlor venture
will teach you volumes.
Nothing like running your
own business.
I've never
done it myself,
but from
what I gather,
it's the greatest
satisfaction
a workingman can have.
So I guess the bank's
going to be your next step, huh?
The bank?
Yeah. Take out a loan,
get yourself started.
Nothing to worry about.
With your talent
and reputation,
it's going to be a snap.
Yeah.
No credit,
no record of jobs you've held,
no savings,
no personal investments,
no social security number...
you may as well not exist...
there is no collateral.
We already have
a second on the house,
but don't the testimonials
make a difference?
Did you see here?
The mayor's wife can't wait
to become a client.
We simply can't do it.
Now, get yourself
a social security card,
establish credit,
and buy yourself a car.
You have
a decided advantage.
You can get one
of those handicap placards.
Park anywhere you like.
I can't believe it.
It's an outrage.
But don't you worry.
This isn't the end of it.
We'll get your money somehow.
But that's breaking
and entering.
Look, my parents have insurance
up the rear, OK?
What'll it have cost them?
A little hassle, that's it.
A week, and my dad will have a new
and better everything.
We can't.
A guy will give us cash.
I don't want to.
You don't want
a van like Denny's
with a mattress in the back?
Why can't you do it?
My father keeps
the room locked.
Edward can get us in.
Take the key
when he's sleeping.
The only thing he hangs
onto tighter is his dick.
Kim, Razor Blades
would do anything for you.
What do you mean?
That's not true.
Ask him.
That's not fair.
There isn't
any other way.
There's got to be.
Look, I've racked my brain.
Don't you want us
to have our own van?
Well, yeah.
Jim, the lights are on.
Those go on
automatically.
They're gone
for the weekend,
I told you.
In case of burglars.
You turned off the alarm?
What do you think?
Shh!
I can't believe
this is happening.
Sure he doesn't know this is
Jim's house?
He's never been here.
This person stole from you?
Shh! Keep your voice down.
I told you
he stole it.
Tell his parents.
They'll make him give it back.
The guy's parents
are like he is.
You told Kim you'd do this.
Let's go.
Come on!
Come on!
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come on!
Come on!
The bastard had it
wired separately.
Come on!
We can't just
leave him here!
I can't do this!
Come on, Kim.
Put me down!
We know you're in there.
We're in the process
of deactivating the system
so that you can come out.
Turn around!
No way.
Jim, it's your house.
They can't arrest you for setting off
your own alarm.
We'll say we freaked and ran!
We're not going back, OK?
We have to!
My father would prosecute!
His own son?
Especially his own son!
If Edward tells,
I'll kill him!
Turn around!
No!
Turn around!
No!
Put your hands
high in the air
where we can see them.
Your hands up!
He's got something in his hands.
Looks like knives.
Drop your weapon!
I repeat,
drop your weapon!
I'll ask you
one more time.
This is your last warning.
Drop your weapon.
If you fail to do so,
we'll open fire.
Don't make us do that, buddy.
Drop your weapons!
Drop them!
Now!
Looks like
we got a psycho.
Prepare to fire!
No! No!
Stand back, ladies.
Stand back!
Those aren't weapons!
Those are his hands.
Please, we know him.
All right, cuff him.
But we can see him now?
We'll have to hold him overnight
for observation.
He has to stay in prison
all night?
Pick him up in the morning.
Oh, Edward.
Hello, Edward.
Oh, Edward, dear,
I blame myself.
What in God's name was going through
your mind, son?
Why didn't I set
a better example?
You saw how I envied
Jim's parents' money.
What were you going to do
with that stuff?
Oh, I blithely say,
"We'll get money
for the salon somehow,"
but I never meant
stealing.
Dear, stealing's
not the way to get it.
Stealing's not the way
to get anything.
Except trouble,
and you're in a serious heap
of that.
Oh, Edward,
why ever did you do this?
Damn those TV programs.
Damn them all to hell.
Or did somebody
put you up to this?
Will he be O.K., Doc?
The years spent in isolation
have not equipped
him with the tools
necessary to judge
right from wrong.
He's had no context.
He's been completely
without guidance.
Furthermore, his work...
the garden sculptures,
hairstyles,
and so forth...
indicate that he's a highly
imaginative, uh...
character.
It seems clear
that his awareness
of what we call reality
is radically
underdeveloped.
But will he be
all right out there?
Oh, yeah,
he'll be fine.
Listen, it could keep me up all night
worrying about you.
You watch yourself,
you hear?
I heard this noise.
I ran out in my bathrobe.
All along,
I felt in my gut
there was something
wrong with him.
It could
have been my house.
It could have been
any of our houses.
I warned you, didn't I?
I saw the sign
of Satan on him.
You didn't heed my warning,
but now you will.
Now you can see it, too.
Edward, you stay right here.
What do you have to say
in your defense?
He doesn't
want to talk now!
You have to say something.
He can't talk
right now.
No comments?
No remarks?
So were you set up?
What was going
through your mind?
We have to get
in the house.
One comment!
Well, for goodness sakes,
Lois,
I'll see you
at our Christmas party
before I get you here
for your haircut.
Of course we'll have it
this year.
Why wouldn't we have it
this year?
Well, you may think that,
but you're wrong.
You're here.
They didn't hurt you,
did they?
Were you scared?
I tried to make Jim
go back,
but you can't make Jim
do anything.
Thank you for not
telling them that we...
You're welcome.
It must have been awful
when they told you
whose house it was.
I knew it was Jim's house.
You did?
Yes.
Well, then why'd you do it?
Because you asked me to.
Kimba!
Kimmy!
Hey!
Don't.
What's the matter with you?
I did what I could.
My old man
thinks he's retarded,
otherwise
he'd still be in jail.
What more do you want?
You could tell the truth.
So could you.
You were there.
You know I didn't
want to do it.
But you did do it.
I don't get why
you give such a shit anyway.
We'll help you replace the drapes
and the towels,
but our confidence
in you, Edward,
isn't going to be
so easy to replace.
Dad...
O.K., a little ethics.
You're walking
down the street,
you find a suitcase
full of money.
There's nobody around.
No human person
is in evidence.
What do you do?
"A"...
You keep the money.
"B"...
You use it to buy gifts
for your friends
and loved ones.
"C"...
You give it to the poor.
"D"...
You turn it in to the police.
Dad, this is
really stupid.
Kim.
I'd keep the money.
Simmer down.
Edward?
How about
after dinner
we go to
the bowling alley?
That would be fun.
You're not seeing
Jim tonight?
We had the coolest
show and tell today.
This kid brought in a box
of baby possums.
Totally naked,
no hair at all.
It's fascinating,
but your father's not finished yet.
Thank you, dear.
Edward, we're waiting.
Give it to my loved ones?
Oh, Edward, it does seem
that that's what
you should do,
but it's not.
You dope.
Everybody knows
you're supposed to give it
to the police.
Good thinking, Kevin.
Well, think about it,
you guys.
I mean,
that's the nicer thing to do.
That's what I would do.
We're trying to make things
easier for him,
so let's cut the comedy
for a little while.
I am being serious.
It's a nicer thing to do.
We're not talking nice.
We're talking
right and wrong.
Shut up!
Oh, goodness sake,
no wonder poor Edward can't learn
right from wrong
living in this family.
Did you hear what he
did to Peg's curtains?
It's unbelievable.
That they're having
their Christmas party anyway.
Are you going?
Oh, I don't think so.
He practically raped Joyce,
you know.
Threatening her
with those knives?
It's a miracle
she escaped.
I don't have anything
against Bill and Peg, but...
I know, I know.
They've got that teenage
daughter in the house.
Oh, those poor things,
after what happened to me.
Can you imagine?
What did you say to Peg
about the Christmas party?
I said I hoped we'd make it.
I lied, too.
Edward, do you want to give me
that new haircut?
Again?
Yeah, sure.
It makes me proud
to have you
as my own personal
hairdresser.
Hi, honey.
Hi.
Kevin, you want to play
scissors-paper-stone?
No.
Why?
It's boring.
I'm tired
of always winning.
Other people's feelings?
I'll be outside.
A few manners?
Just never you mind, dear.
Just...
You cut away.
Cut away.
I saw three ships
come sailing by
On Christmas Day,
on Christmas Day
I saw three ships
come sailing by
On Christmas Day
in the morning
It needs something...
else.
What do you think, honey?
More bells?
More bells.
Do you really think we should
be having this party?
Of course I do.
I mean, it's just what we need
to calm things down,
and everything will
just go back to normal.
Hmm?
Do you have any more bells,
honey?
Hey!
Ooh!
Now you've done it.
It's just a scratch,
Jim, really.
Stay back.
Touch her again,
I'll kill you.
Call a doctor.
He skewered Kim.
No! He didn't skewer me.
Stay away from her.
You can't touch anything
without destroying it.
Who you think you are,
hanging around here?
I want you
to sit right down
and wait for me
to bring you some ice.
Stay there.
I'll be right back.
On Christmas Day
in the morning
Get the hell
out of here!
Get the hell out!
Go! Freak!
Hey, Edward,
where are you going?
Where is he?
He tried to hurt you.
He didn't,
and you know it!
Are you nuts?
I just saw him!
Jim, I don't
love you anymore.
I just want you to go, OK?
Just go!
Are you serious?
Lose you to that?
He isn't even human.
Just get out of here, OK?
Just go!
Dad, did you see
where Edward went?
He just waltzed
down the street.
We have to go find him, Mom.
Your father will find him.
I'll take care of it.
I'll go find him.
Edward!
I'm calling the police!
Aah!
Oh!
All that blood, sweetie,
and it's just a little cut.
Oh.
Hello. I'm here to see
the man with the hands.
Oh...
uh...
He's not here.
Thank you.
Oh, dear.
Helen, did you
actually see him?
Yes! Look!
You see,
I told you he was a demon.
Oh, don't start
that stuff again.
I'm looking for the man
with the scissors.
He went that way.
You have to do
something about that.
All right, calm down.
Go on home.
We'll handle it.
Just go home.
He's a de...
a demon.
You've got
to do something!
All right.
Let's see if he's at our houses.
Come on.
Oh...
I'm sure your father
will find him soon.
What time is it?
It's almost 8:30.
Great party, huh?
Where are they?
God, I hope he's O.K.
So do I, honey.
You know,
when I brought Edward
down here to live with us,
I really didn't
think things through.
And I didn't think about what could
happen to him...
or to us...
or to the neighborhood.
And now I think
that maybe...
it might be best
if he goes...
back up there.
Because at least
there he's safe.
And we'd just
go back to normal.
I got halfway
to the Whitmars.
I didn't see him anywhere.
Let's get in the car
and look for him.
Where's Kevin now?
At Max's.
Where do you think you're going,
young lady?
With you guys.
No, you're staying here
in case somebody shows up!
W-We'll be
right back, dear.
Police.
Edward?
Are you OK?
Yes. Are you OK?
Where is everybody?
Out looking for you.
Hold me.
I can't.
I know it's a little early
for Christmas, Edward,
but, uh...
I have a present for you.
Forget holding her hand.
Picture the damage
he could do other places.
Yeah. That's sick.
I feel like
I'm going to pass out
or puke or something.
Later. First take me to her house.
Come on.
Don't make me drive.
Just do it!
Jesus. Maybe she was right
about you.
Just drive!
Relax.
See you tomorrow.
Call me.
All right.
Have they
caught him yet?
Who?
Him.
That... That cripple.
Ahh. Let me know when they do.
Let us all know, OK?
Like a good boy?
Kevin.
Ohh!
Are you OK?
Oh! Ow. Oh.
Ow! Oh!
Help!
Edward. Help.
I'm your friend.
Stop!
Don't! Stop! Get away, now!
Somebody help us!
Help!
What are you doing?
Get away! Aah!
Get the police!
Somebody call the police!
Hey.
Let go of me!
Why?
Kevin!
Hey!
Kevin! Kevin!
Edward!
Get away!
What happened?
Edward, come home! Come home!
Aah!
Somebody call the police!
- Aah!
- Aah!
- Aah!
Jim, stop it!
Get off him!
Aah!
Run.
Kevins all right!
It was just
the tiniest scratch!
He's gone! Let's not bother him,
all right?
Let's just
leave him alone!
Go on, run.
What happened?
- Did you get him?
- O.K., is he dead?
It's all over.
Go on home.
There's nothing
more to see.
What happened
out there?
It's all over!
I want some answers.
It is all over.
Where is he?
Where is he?
Get back here!
I want to ask you something!
Do you see him?
Wait!
I want to ask you...
He's in that car.
Look at that.
I don't believe it.
They don't have him.
I'm going!
No! That's not a good idea!
They're coming?
Did I hurt Kevin?
No, he's O.K.
Mostly he was just scared.
Edward, I was so afraid.
I thought
you were dead.
I didn't.
No!
No!
No!
Jim, stop!
No!
No!
Stop!
Stop it,
or I'll kill you myself.
Aah!
Hey! I said stay away from her!
Goodbye.
I love you.
Aah! Oh!
- Aah!
- Oh!
- Oh!
Is he in there?
He's dead.
The roof caved in on him.
They killed each other.
You can see
for yourselves.
See?
I'm going home.
She never
saw him again.
Not after that night.
How do you know?
Because I was there.
You could
have gone up there.
You still could go.
No, sweetheart.
I'm an old woman now.
I would rather he remember me
the way I was.
How do you know
he's still alive?
I don't know,
not for sure, but...
I believe he is.
You see...
before he came down here,
it never snowed.
And afterwards...
it did.
If he weren't
up there now,
I don't think
it would be snowing.
Sometimes you can still catch me
dancing in it.
It's cold out there.
Why is it snowing,
Grandma?
Where does it
come from?
Oh, that's a long story,
sweetheart.
I want to hear.
Oh, not tonight.
Go to sleep.
I'm not sleepy.
Tell me, please.
Well, all right.
Let's see.
I guess it would have
to start with scissors.
Scissors?
Well, there are
all kinds of scissors,
and once there
was even a man
who had scissors
for hands.
A man?
Yes.
Hands, scissors?
No, scissor hands.
You know the mansion
on top of the mountain?
It's haunted.
Well...
a long time ago,
an inventor lived
in that mansion.
He made many things,
I suppose.
He also created a man.
He gave him insides,
a heart, a brain,
everything.
Well, almost everything.
You see,
the inventor was very old.
He died before
he got to finish
the man he invented,
so the man was left
by himself...
incomplete and all alone.
He didn't
have a name?
Of course
he had a name.
His name was Edward.
Avon calling.
Weren't you
just here?
No, not since last season.
I've come to show you
our exquisite new line
of softer colors
in shadows,
blushes, and lipstick.
Everything you need to accent
and highlight your changing look.
My changing look.
That's good.
Well, it goes
without saying
I have a complete selection
of your old favorites...
those tried-and-true
products
we've all
come to depend on.
Peg, I never buy anything from you.
You know that.
I know. Bye, Helen.
You didn't have
to call me, ma'am.
You could have
taken care of this yourself.
I could?
I don't think so.
Yeah. It's easy.
Your food trap's clogged.
That's all.
See this bulb here?
You just unscrew this.
Mm-hmm.
And out she pops.
On TV they say repairmen
are lonely.
Housewives get lonely, too.
You may not
realize it.
They haven't made a commercial
on the subject.
Put this back in here
nice and easy.
Be careful
not to force it
because it fits
in there by itself.
Oh, now who could that be?
Will you excuse me
for a moment?
Now, don't go anywhere.
I'll be right back.
This is fascinating.
I wouldn't want
to miss a moment of it.
Good morning, Joyce.
Avon calling.
Why, Peg,
have you gone blind?
Can't you see there's a vehicle
in my driveway?
Oh... yes.
I'm surprised you don't realize
that means I'm busy.
Now we should
decide on lipsticks.
What one did
you like best?
There was
the Winsome Wahini,
which looked charming on you,
or the Bahimini Bliss.
I like them both.
Well, great.
You don't actually think I have
any money, do you?
Ding dong,
the Avon lady
It's just not my day.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, it's so beautiful.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Avon calling.
Oh, my.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello. I'm Peg Boggs.
I'm your local
Avon representative.
Hello?
I'm sorry
to barge in like this,
but you don't have
any reason to be afraid.
Ooh! This is some huge house,
isn't it?
Thank goodness
for those aerobics...
classes.
Hello?
Hello?
Why are you
hiding back there?
You don't have
to hide from me.
I'm Peg Boggs.
I'm your local Avon
representative,
and I'm as harmless
as cherry p...
Oh, my.
I can see
I've disturbed you.
How stupid of me.
I'll be going now.
Don't go.
Oh, my.
What happened to you?
I'm not finished.
Oh! Put those down.
Don't come any closer.
Just... Please...
Those are your hands?
Those are your hands.
What happened to you?
Where are your parents?
Um...
your mother?
Your father?
He didn't wake up.
Are you alone? Do you live up here
all by yourself?
What happened
to your face?
Hmm.
No, I won't hurt you.
But at the very least,
let me give you
a good astringent,
and this will help
to prevent infection.
What's your name?
Edward.
Edward.
I think you should just come home
with me.
Ohh!
I'm... I'm sorry.
No, don't be.
You go ahead and look.
You have every reason
to be excited.
Oh! Are you OK?
Are you OK?
Hello.
Hi. Yeah, it's Marge.
I was standing outside,
talking to Carol,
and Peg drove by.
She had somebody in the car.
You get a good look?
No. Did she say
anything to you
about having a guest?
She didn't say anything.
She rang my doorbell
early this morning.
No. O.K.
I'll meet you on the corner.
Right. Bye.
Oh, damn.
Here we go, dear.
This is our house.
You can just go right in
and make yourself
at home, OK?
And have something to eat or drink
or whatever you...
Here, dear.
This is the front door here.
Here we go.
Right in here.
Joyce, I just saw
this strange guy
driving with Peg.
He looked kind of pale.
I'll be right there.
Don't do anything without me.
Bye.
Yes, be right there!
Here we are.
So... and this
is the living room,
and back here
are the bedrooms.
You want to see
the pictures.
All right.
Well, this is my husband Bill.
He's a bowling champion.
Do you know
what bowling is?
Bowling?
No. Well, here they
are at the lake fishing.
I think Kevin
looks a little glum
because they didn't
catch anything that day,
and, um, here's
my daughter Kim,
all dressed
for the junior prom.
She's a senior now,
if you can believe it.
She's camping in the mountains
with some friends,
but she'll be back
in a few days.
You can meet her then.
Isn't she beautiful?
That's my family.
Now, come along, dear.
I'll show you
the rest of the house,
then you can freshen up
and make yourself at home.
The kitchen's over there.
Help yourself to anything you want
to eat or drink.
Those are grapes.
Back here are the bedrooms.
Let me get you
some towels.
I'll see what we can
find for you to wear.
I think I have some of Bill's
old clothes in here.
This is perfect.
Here. These should
just fit you.
Oh! No, no,
don't be alarmed.
That's just the phone.
Go in Kim's room
and put these on.
I'll be
right with you.
No. No, he has scissors.
No, scissors.
That's right.
Well, he was born
up there or something.
Have you seen him before?
No. I don't think
he's been off the grounds
before today.
You're kidding.
How did you get together with him?
I have to go. I'll talk to you later,
Marge. Bye-bye.
I'm sorry, Edward.
I didn't...
Oh, dear. May I
help you with this?
Thank you.
There you go.
Oh, dear,
you've cut your face.
Let me get this
right off.
Does that hurt?
No.
No. Good. O.K.
Now let's get you dressed.
O.K.
There we go.
Very fine.
You look fine,
just fine.
Come on.
We can't wait for you.
You've got rollers
in your damn hair.
O.K.
Now...
what did I do
with my sci...
Edward, um, would you...
Thank you.
I have a doctor friend
who I think
could help you.
Really?
Yes.
Now, I can help
with the scars.
But I just
want to consult
the big Avon handbook
before doing anything.
Kevin.
Kevin.
It's not polite
to stare, dear.
Kevin, think how it
would make you feel
if somebody were
staring at you.
I wouldn't care.
I would, so don't do it!
This must be
quite a change
for you, right, Ed?
Edward.
I think he prefers Edward.
Yeah. Sure.
So, what have you
been doing up there
in that big old place?
I bet the view must be
spectacular, huh, Ed?
Edward.
Yes?
Um. No, um, I was just...
See all the way
to the ocean, huh?
Sometimes.
Bill, could I have the salt
and pepper, please?
Bill, dear, could I have
the salt and pepper, please?
Thank you.
Kevin.
Kevin.
Man, those things are cool.
You know,
I bet they're razor-sharp.
One karate chop
to a guy's neck...
Kevin.
Edward...
would you like some butter
for your bread?
Great.
Thank you.
Can I bring him
to show and tell on Monday?
Kevin, I've had enough.
You think you can sleep?
Things feel strange now,
but soon you'll
feel right at home.
Good night.
Good night.
The light concealing cream
goes on first.
Then you blend
and blend and blend.
Blending is the secret.
More concealing cream?
Your complexion is so fair...
This has a touch
of lavender in it.
Give it a try here.
Close enough.
Okay, this should do
the trick, here.
Hmm.
I have another idea.
We'll cover up the scars,
and start with a smooth surface.
Darn this stuff!
Hartley into the windup
and the strike one pitch.
Swung on and missed.
Strike two.
If it's a hit,
then the club has 12 hits.
But they still have 11
on the scoreboard.
And it's three to one.
0 and two
the count to Warren.
Now they change it
to 12 hits.
Turn it up, Kevin.
I can't hear it.
Kevin?
Hartley strikes,
the pitch is...
- hammered!
- Did you hear that?
No. Make it louder!
Way back... It's gone!
It's out of here.
It's history.
Dad...
look.
A grand slam
for Martinez
to make it
a five-run inning
and blow
this game to pieces.
I'll be darned.
They filled
the whole tape.
What's going on
over there, Peg? Call me.
Hi. It's Marge.
Who is he? Call me.
I hear it's pouring
rain in the mountains.
Think the kids are OK?
Hey, there, darlin'.
The gals are in a tizzy
about your secret visitor.
You can't keep him
a secret forever.
Well, it's just wonderful, Ed.
You have the whole family in there,
don't you?
Edward, come here.
No, no, no,
that's a terrible idea, son.
Go to the garage
and get the oilcan.
We don't want him
rusting up on us.
Edward, you did us?
Oh, Bill, it's us.
Yes, it is.
Oh, Edward!
It's not heaven he's from.
It's straight from
the stinking flames of hell.
The power of Satan is in him.
I feel it.
Have you poor sheep strayed so far
from the path?
We're not sheep.
Don't come near me.
That's right. Go on.
Get out of here. Run.
Edward, don't listen to her.
Don't worry about her,
Edward.
She's just
an old loony.
- Hi!
- Hi!
- Hi!
You all are hiding in there
like hermit crabs.
Hi, Joyce.
Shame on you,
keeping your unusual guest
all to yourself.
We think that's
mighty selfish of you.
Things have been
hectic around here.
That's sweet of you to want
to correct the situation.
When does
the barbecue begin?
Barbecue?
You intend
to introduce your guest
to your friends, right?
I'll bring coleslaw.
I'll bring dessert.
And I will bring
the ambrosia salad.
What time was it
that you said?
What time? Bill!
About 5:00?
Bill!
He has been sent
first to tempt you,
but it's not too late.
You must push him from you.
Expel him.
Trample down the
perversion of nature.
Oh, did you hear that?
He's a perversion of nature.
Why, isn't that exciting?
Ha ha ha ha.
See you later.
Bye-bye.
Thanks so much.
Bill!
Bill!
You really can't
have a picnic
or a barbecue
without deviled eggs.
They're just the best.
They make a thing.
Oh, dear, Edward!
That's wonderful!
I didn't know you chopped
the whole thing,
but we'll have
a really big...
All right.
It's just a nick.
There's no need
to be nervous.
You know Esmeralda
won't be here.
The rest of the neighbors,
they're really very nice.
There's no need
to be nervous.
They're so eager
to meet you.
You just have
to be yourself.
Myself?
That's right.
Just your own sweet self.
Thanks, Edward.
Hey. Play scissor-paper-stones
with us.
Play scissors what?
I got a doctor friend.
Might be able
to help you.
Hey, George Mi...
Whoa!
That's a heck of a handshake
you got there, Ed.
Harry! I saw you on
the golf course last week!
You got a dozen
of the melons...
Are you OK?
Do you want something to eat?
Are you hungry?
Do you want a cracker?
He's so different.
Completely different.
No kidding.
He's so...
Mysterious.
Yeah.
Do you imagine those
hands are hot or cold?
Just think what
a single snip could do.
Or undo.
Eddie. Eddie.
Oh. Oh.
The guys
and I were talking.
We'd like to invite you
to our card game.
Would you like that?
Only thing is,
you can't cut.
I have my own infirmity.
Never did me
a bit of harm.
Took some shrapnel
during the war.
Ever since then,
I can't feel a thing,
not a damn thing.
Don't let anybody
tell you
you have a handicap.
Who's handicapped?
My goodness.
Don't be ridiculous.
You're not handicapped.
You're...
What do they call that?
Exceptional.
My name's Joyce.
I noticed that
you have not tasted
any of the ambrosia salad
I made
especially for you.
Allow me.
Mmm.
You must try this.
It's my mother's recipe.
Let him chew,
for heaven sakes.
With your green thumb,
I could use your help.
Me, too.
There you go.
I want a row of angels.
He's promised to come
to my house first.
One more.
Haven't you, Eddie?
I did?
O.K., everybody,
grab your plates.
Soup's on.
I thought this
was shish kebab.
What?
I thought this
was shish kebab.
It was a figure of speech.
Don't take things
so literally.
"Let us pretend we're
in the drawing room,
and the hostess
is serving tea."
"Now, many numerous little questions
confront us.
Should the man rise
when he accepts
his cup of tea?
May lump sugar be taken
with the things?"
Hmm... no.
"Is it good form
to accept a second cup?
Now, should the napkin
be entirely unfolded
or should
the center crease
be allowed to remain?
It is so easy to commit
embarrassing blunders,
but etiquette tells us
just what
is expected of us
and guards us from all humiliation
and discomfort."
Mmm. Yes.
Boring.
Let us switch to, um...
to some poetry, hmm?
"There was an old man
from the cape
who made himself
garments of crepe.
When asked,
Will they tear?
He replied,
Here and there,
but they keep such
a beautiful shape. "
That's right.
Go ahead, smile.
It's funny.
That's right.
O.K., guys. We're home.
Shh.
I can't believe
everything's still sopping.
I can't wait to shower
and wash off the mildew.
My parents
set the alarm.
I'll sleep in the yard...
again.
I told you to call to say
we're coming back early.
Did you?
He'd rather
complain.
How else can I be
the center of attention?
You didn't
call your parents.
They don't run their house
like a police state.
Bye, guys.
See you later.
Bye.
Don't forget your arm.
Oh, yeah.
Come on, Jim. Let's go.
Aah!
There's somebody
in my room!
Go look! Look!
He's a murderer.
He has an ax.
He tried to kill me!
Everything's O.K.
It's all right.
Go back to bed.
Oh, my God!
All right. All right.
Who is he?
That's Edward.
What are you
talking about?
There is nothing
to be upset about.
No. Oh, no.
No, no, it's O.K.
We'll have you
set up here in a minute.
We got a full
queen-size bed here.
It's all made
and everything.
There you go.
What's the matter?
What's wrong?
She get you nervous?
You've been
cloistered away
in that castle too long.
You don't know anything
about the wonderful world
of teenaged girls.
They're all crazy.
Here, this will
straighten you out.
What is it?
Lemonade.
I don't know
what it is.
They reach
a certain age.
They develop
these gland things.
Their bodies swell up.
They go crazy.
Glands?
Yeah, glands.
I try not
to think about it.
Good, isn't it?
You stay
in Kevin's room tonight.
Tomorrow we'll fix
your room right up.
Why did you
bring him here?
I couldn't
leave him there.
You would've done
the same thing.
Why does he
have to stay here?
I'm surprised at you.
He can't help
the way he is.
Have a little sympathy.
I do have sympathy.
Then let's just say
a little greeting.
Come downstairs,
shake his hand...
Shake his hand?
Not literally.
You scared him
half to death.
I scared him
to death?
Hi, Bill.
I just wanted you two
to have
a proper introduction.
Edward, this is
our daughter Kim.
Kim, this is Edward,
who's going to live with us.
Hi.
Ooh!
Eddie!
Thirsty?
Hush up!
Shh. Quiet, now.
I can hardly hear
myself think.
Mama's precious
little baby girl.
Would you like a nice
cool glass of lemonade?
Lemonade?
One chop to a guy's neck,
and it's all over.
They're the sharpest
things in the world.
They can hack
through anything,
and...
I think they look weird.
They give me the creeps.
You should see the clown
in Miss Peters' yard.
Kim!
Oh, no.
That's him?
He's calling you, Kimba.
Stop it.
Edward!
You forgot your cookies.
Don't worry, Eddie.
She's waiting for you.
Edward said he had
lunch at Jackies today.
She just had her kitchen
completely redone.
I'll be darned.
New paint, cabinets, floors.
New microwave.
New silent dishwasher.
Isn't that wonderful?
Jim, didn't you tell me your mom
had her kitchen done?
My dad bought himself
a bunch of new toys.
Big-screen TV,
CD players,
VCR with four heads.
My goodness sake.
I wonder what it's like
to be that rich.
They keep things
pretty much locked up.
My father has his
own room for his stuff.
He won't even help me
buy an old car.
He wants you to pay for it yourself.
Builds character.
You'll appreciate it more.
Speaking of money,
I understand
you're not charging
for your gardening,
Edward.
Now, Bill, Marge
made him cookies today.
Sweetheart...
you can't buy the necessities of life
with cookies.
You can't buy a car
with cookies,
am I right, Jim?
That's true, sir.
You can't.
I can't eat that.
He used his hands.
I don't think
it's sanitary.
I'm sorry.
Honey, you want me
to help you clean that up?
No, that's O.K.
I'll be right back.
Alexis?
Oh, this can't
possibly be my Alexis.
She looks so beautiful.
Look at you.
She's gorgeous.
Thank you.
It won't be long.
She just has to decide
on the style,
and then
it will be fine.
She just has to decide
what style she wants.
I was hoping for something
big and bouffant,
you know,
kind of like mine.
Don't worry, kisses.
You'll be just fine.
You'll be so pretty.
Yes, you are.
Ooh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, Eddie, is there
anything you can't do?
You take
my very breath away.
I swear, look at this.
Have you ever cut
a woman's hair?
Would you cut mine?
That was the single
most thrilling experience
of my whole life.
They're getting
the head of the company!
I'm home!
Honey, we're in here!
Hi.
Hi.
What did you do
to your hair?
Edward cut it.
Isn't it wild?
Hello?
I can't believe
I'm talking to you in person.
This is such an honor.
Yes. He's right here.
Great. So then
you know all about him.
Uh-huh.
Well, that's exactly
what I've been using.
I've had a little trouble
getting it
the right consistency.
Yeah. Well, just a little.
Add 21 Red.
I'll try that.
Uh-huh.
And then a dash of 418.
Well, what imaginative suggestions.
I sure will.
Thank you so much.
Bye-bye.
No wonder she's
the head of the company.
She started as a sales
representative like me.
I've always wanted
to talk to her,
but until now,
I never had a reason.
Thanks, Edward.
She had some ideas?
You bet she did.
Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm.
I'll get that.
Edward, we're here.
Come on,
let's get you sharpened up.
You got it?
No. I can't believe this.
It's such a mess.
Hi.
Goodbye.
Bye-bye.
Do you have a key?
No.
I could've sworn
I put it here.
Well, we're stranded.
Wow.
Thanks.
Ed, what a guy.
Good job.
You didn't break it or scratch it
or anything.
Be a pal and yell
when Peg pulls in, huh?
Quite a story, yes?
Any questions for Edward?
Yeah.
Get way over.
Stand right up.
What's been the best part
of your new life?
The friends I've made.
Any other questions?
Have you ever thought of having
corrective surgery or prosthetics?
I know a doctor that might
be able to help you.
I'd like to meet him.
We'll get that name
after the show.
Anyone else?
Yes. Stand right up.
But if you had
regular hands,
you'd be
like everyone else.
Yes, I know.
I think he'd like that.
No one would think
you were special.
You wouldn't be on TV.
No matter what,
Edward will
always be special.
More questions?
Yes.
Stand right up.
Your work is so interesting,
distinctive, and unique.
Do you have plans to open your own
beauty salon?
Oh, there's an idea.
Anyone else?
Yeah.
Do you have
a girlfriend?
Ahh.
Sure, he does.
Right, Kim?
Right, Kim?
Now you got him started.
Knock it off,
bubble-butt.
You did it.
So?
How about it, Edward?
Is there some special
lady in your life?
Ha ha ha ha!
Uh, everything's
all right.
We'll take a break,
and we'll be right back
after these messages.
Why are you laughing?
He got hurt.
It was a little shock.
A little shock?
I wish we'd been taping that.
I'd give my left nut
to see that again.
Aren't you excited?
Oh, this is just so thrilling!
Wait till I show it to you.
It's perfect.
I want to call it
Shear Heaven.
Ha ha ha ha! Ohh.
And here we are!
Now, all along here,
I'm going to put a row of new mirrors,
and back along here,
well, I think...
Eddie, come along, doll.
And back here,
a whole row of new cosmetics.
And all along
this row here...
Peg could sell cosmetics.
Yeah, sure.
And this, of course,
is where we wash hair.
And here's where I stand
when I greet the customers.
But back in here is what
I really want to show you.
Eddie, this is what
I really want to show you.
Now, this is the storeroom
where we keep everything.
What I need from you is a decision.
I need you to help me make.
Oh, honey, no!
No, don't.
That's dangerous.
Now you just sit
right down there.
I have some smocks.
Would you like me
to model them for you?
Yes.
Oh-oh-oh
With these hands
I will cling
To you
I'm yours forever...
Now, this is my favorite
because it's yellow...
and what it's for
is to catch those
itchy little trimmings
that fall down your neck.
Ha ha.
And then there's this
old purple one, you know,
you kind of drape
around you like this.
With this heart...
I like that one.
Oh, Eddie.
Why, Eddie, you're trembling.
So am I.
I've been waiting
for this moment for so long.
With these hands
I'll provide
For you
Should there be
a stormy sea
I'll turn the tides
For you
And I'll never
Oh, no, I'll never
I'll never
let you go
Ooh...
Aah!
Edward!
Edward, you come back here!
You can't do that!
Velcro, sweetheart.
Velcro that hangs on
the dashboard.
I've never
seen that.
Sorry I'm late.
Hi, Edward.
Sorry, we had to go
ahead without you.
So, Edward,
did you have a productive day?
Mrs. Monroe showed me
where the salon's
going to be.
You could have
a cosmetics counter.
Oh, wouldn't
that be great?
Great.
And then she showed me
the back room
where she took
her clothes off.
Edward, I can't
say how thrilled I am.
I'm as pleased as punch.
This beauty
parlor venture
will teach you volumes.
Nothing like running your
own business.
I've never
done it myself,
but from
what I gather,
it's the greatest
satisfaction
a workingman can have.
So I guess the bank's
going to be your next step, huh?
The bank?
Yeah. Take out a loan,
get yourself started.
Nothing to worry about.
With your talent
and reputation,
it's going to be a snap.
Yeah.
No credit,
no record of jobs you've held,
no savings,
no personal investments,
no social security number...
you may as well not exist...
there is no collateral.
We already have
a second on the house,
but don't the testimonials
make a difference?
Did you see here?
The mayor's wife can't wait
to become a client.
We simply can't do it.
Now, get yourself
a social security card,
establish credit,
and buy yourself a car.
You have
a decided advantage.
You can get one
of those handicap placards.
Park anywhere you like.
I can't believe it.
It's an outrage.
But don't you worry.
This isn't the end of it.
We'll get your money somehow.
But that's breaking
and entering.
Look, my parents have insurance
up the rear, OK?
What'll it have cost them?
A little hassle, that's it.
A week, and my dad will have a new
and better everything.
We can't.
A guy will give us cash.
I don't want to.
You don't want
a van like Denny's
with a mattress in the back?
Why can't you do it?
My father keeps
the room locked.
Edward can get us in.
Take the key
when he's sleeping.
The only thing he hangs
onto tighter is his dick.
Kim, Razor Blades
would do anything for you.
What do you mean?
That's not true.
Ask him.
That's not fair.
There isn't
any other way.
There's got to be.
Look, I've racked my brain.
Don't you want us
to have our own van?
Well, yeah.
Jim, the lights are on.
Those go on
automatically.
They're gone
for the weekend,
I told you.
In case of burglars.
You turned off the alarm?
What do you think?
Shh!
I can't believe
this is happening.
Sure he doesn't know this is
Jim's house?
He's never been here.
This person stole from you?
Shh! Keep your voice down.
I told you
he stole it.
Tell his parents.
They'll make him give it back.
The guy's parents
are like he is.
You told Kim you'd do this.
Let's go.
Come on!
Come on!
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come on!
Come on!
The bastard had it
wired separately.
Come on!
We can't just
leave him here!
I can't do this!
Come on, Kim.
Put me down!
We know you're in there.
We're in the process
of deactivating the system
so that you can come out.
Turn around!
No way.
Jim, it's your house.
They can't arrest you for setting off
your own alarm.
We'll say we freaked and ran!
We're not going back, OK?
We have to!
My father would prosecute!
His own son?
Especially his own son!
If Edward tells,
I'll kill him!
Turn around!
No!
Turn around!
No!
Put your hands
high in the air
where we can see them.
Your hands up!
He's got something in his hands.
Looks like knives.
Drop your weapon!
I repeat,
drop your weapon!
I'll ask you
one more time.
This is your last warning.
Drop your weapon.
If you fail to do so,
we'll open fire.
Don't make us do that, buddy.
Drop your weapons!
Drop them!
Now!
Looks like
we got a psycho.
Prepare to fire!
No! No!
Stand back, ladies.
Stand back!
Those aren't weapons!
Those are his hands.
Please, we know him.
All right, cuff him.
But we can see him now?
We'll have to hold him overnight
for observation.
He has to stay in prison
all night?
Pick him up in the morning.
Oh, Edward.
Hello, Edward.
Oh, Edward, dear,
I blame myself.
What in God's name was going through
your mind, son?
Why didn't I set
a better example?
You saw how I envied
Jim's parents' money.
What were you going to do
with that stuff?
Oh, I blithely say,
"We'll get money
for the salon somehow,"
but I never meant
stealing.
Dear, stealing's
not the way to get it.
Stealing's not the way
to get anything.
Except trouble,
and you're in a serious heap
of that.
Oh, Edward,
why ever did you do this?
Damn those TV programs.
Damn them all to hell.
Or did somebody
put you up to this?
Will he be O.K., Doc?
The years spent in isolation
have not equipped
him with the tools
necessary to judge
right from wrong.
He's had no context.
He's been completely
without guidance.
Furthermore, his work...
the garden sculptures,
hairstyles,
and so forth...
indicate that he's a highly
imaginative, uh...
character.
It seems clear
that his awareness
of what we call reality
is radically
underdeveloped.
But will he be
all right out there?
Oh, yeah,
he'll be fine.
Listen, it could keep me up all night
worrying about you.
You watch yourself,
you hear?
I heard this noise.
I ran out in my bathrobe.
All along,
I felt in my gut
there was something
wrong with him.
It could
have been my house.
It could have been
any of our houses.
I warned you, didn't I?
I saw the sign
of Satan on him.
You didn't heed my warning,
but now you will.
Now you can see it, too.
Edward, you stay right here.
What do you have to say
in your defense?
He doesn't
want to talk now!
You have to say something.
He can't talk
right now.
No comments?
No remarks?
So were you set up?
What was going
through your mind?
We have to get
in the house.
One comment!
Well, for goodness sakes,
Lois,
I'll see you
at our Christmas party
before I get you here
for your haircut.
Of course we'll have it
this year.
Why wouldn't we have it
this year?
Well, you may think that,
but you're wrong.
You're here.
They didn't hurt you,
did they?
Were you scared?
I tried to make Jim
go back,
but you can't make Jim
do anything.
Thank you for not
telling them that we...
You're welcome.
It must have been awful
when they told you
whose house it was.
I knew it was Jim's house.
You did?
Yes.
Well, then why'd you do it?
Because you asked me to.
Kimba!
Kimmy!
Hey!
Don't.
What's the matter with you?
I did what I could.
My old man
thinks he's retarded,
otherwise
he'd still be in jail.
What more do you want?
You could tell the truth.
So could you.
You were there.
You know I didn't
want to do it.
But you did do it.
I don't get why
you give such a shit anyway.
We'll help you replace the drapes
and the towels,
but our confidence
in you, Edward,
isn't going to be
so easy to replace.
Dad...
O.K., a little ethics.
You're walking
down the street,
you find a suitcase
full of money.
There's nobody around.
No human person
is in evidence.
What do you do?
"A"...
You keep the money.
"B"...
You use it to buy gifts
for your friends
and loved ones.
"C"...
You give it to the poor.
"D"...
You turn it in to the police.
Dad, this is
really stupid.
Kim.
I'd keep the money.
Simmer down.
Edward?
How about
after dinner
we go to
the bowling alley?
That would be fun.
You're not seeing
Jim tonight?
We had the coolest
show and tell today.
This kid brought in a box
of baby possums.
Totally naked,
no hair at all.
It's fascinating,
but your father's not finished yet.
Thank you, dear.
Edward, we're waiting.
Give it to my loved ones?
Oh, Edward, it does seem
that that's what
you should do,
but it's not.
You dope.
Everybody knows
you're supposed to give it
to the police.
Good thinking, Kevin.
Well, think about it,
you guys.
I mean,
that's the nicer thing to do.
That's what I would do.
We're trying to make things
easier for him,
so let's cut the comedy
for a little while.
I am being serious.
It's a nicer thing to do.
We're not talking nice.
We're talking
right and wrong.
Shut up!
Oh, goodness sake,
no wonder poor Edward can't learn
right from wrong
living in this family.
Did you hear what he
did to Peg's curtains?
It's unbelievable.
That they're having
their Christmas party anyway.
Are you going?
Oh, I don't think so.
He practically raped Joyce,
you know.
Threatening her
with those knives?
It's a miracle
she escaped.
I don't have anything
against Bill and Peg, but...
I know, I know.
They've got that teenage
daughter in the house.
Oh, those poor things,
after what happened to me.
Can you imagine?
What did you say to Peg
about the Christmas party?
I said I hoped we'd make it.
I lied, too.
Edward, do you want to give me
that new haircut?
Again?
Yeah, sure.
It makes me proud
to have you
as my own personal
hairdresser.
Hi, honey.
Hi.
Kevin, you want to play
scissors-paper-stone?
No.
Why?
It's boring.
I'm tired
of always winning.
Other people's feelings?
I'll be outside.
A few manners?
Just never you mind, dear.
Just...
You cut away.
Cut away.
I saw three ships
come sailing by
On Christmas Day,
on Christmas Day
I saw three ships
come sailing by
On Christmas Day
in the morning
It needs something...
else.
What do you think, honey?
More bells?
More bells.
Do you really think we should
be having this party?
Of course I do.
I mean, it's just what we need
to calm things down,
and everything will
just go back to normal.
Hmm?
Do you have any more bells,
honey?
Hey!
Ooh!
Now you've done it.
It's just a scratch,
Jim, really.
Stay back.
Touch her again,
I'll kill you.
Call a doctor.
He skewered Kim.
No! He didn't skewer me.
Stay away from her.
You can't touch anything
without destroying it.
Who you think you are,
hanging around here?
I want you
to sit right down
and wait for me
to bring you some ice.
Stay there.
I'll be right back.
On Christmas Day
in the morning
Get the hell
out of here!
Get the hell out!
Go! Freak!
Hey, Edward,
where are you going?
Where is he?
He tried to hurt you.
He didn't,
and you know it!
Are you nuts?
I just saw him!
Jim, I don't
love you anymore.
I just want you to go, OK?
Just go!
Are you serious?
Lose you to that?
He isn't even human.
Just get out of here, OK?
Just go!
Dad, did you see
where Edward went?
He just waltzed
down the street.
We have to go find him, Mom.
Your father will find him.
I'll take care of it.
I'll go find him.
Edward!
I'm calling the police!
Aah!
Oh!
All that blood, sweetie,
and it's just a little cut.
Oh.
Hello. I'm here to see
the man with the hands.
Oh...
uh...
He's not here.
Thank you.
Oh, dear.
Helen, did you
actually see him?
Yes! Look!
You see,
I told you he was a demon.
Oh, don't start
that stuff again.
I'm looking for the man
with the scissors.
He went that way.
You have to do
something about that.
All right, calm down.
Go on home.
We'll handle it.
Just go home.
He's a de...
a demon.
You've got
to do something!
All right.
Let's see if he's at our houses.
Come on.
Oh...
I'm sure your father
will find him soon.
What time is it?
It's almost 8:30.
Great party, huh?
Where are they?
God, I hope he's O.K.
So do I, honey.
You know,
when I brought Edward
down here to live with us,
I really didn't
think things through.
And I didn't think about what could
happen to him...
or to us...
or to the neighborhood.
And now I think
that maybe...
it might be best
if he goes...
back up there.
Because at least
there he's safe.
And we'd just
go back to normal.
I got halfway
to the Whitmars.
I didn't see him anywhere.
Let's get in the car
and look for him.
Where's Kevin now?
At Max's.
Where do you think you're going,
young lady?
With you guys.
No, you're staying here
in case somebody shows up!
W-We'll be
right back, dear.
Police.
Edward?
Are you OK?
Yes. Are you OK?
Where is everybody?
Out looking for you.
Hold me.
I can't.
I know it's a little early
for Christmas, Edward,
but, uh...
I have a present for you.
Forget holding her hand.
Picture the damage
he could do other places.
Yeah. That's sick.
I feel like
I'm going to pass out
or puke or something.
Later. First take me to her house.
Come on.
Don't make me drive.
Just do it!
Jesus. Maybe she was right
about you.
Just drive!
Relax.
See you tomorrow.
Call me.
All right.
Have they
caught him yet?
Who?
Him.
That... That cripple.
Ahh. Let me know when they do.
Let us all know, OK?
Like a good boy?
Kevin.
Ohh!
Are you OK?
Oh! Ow. Oh.
Ow! Oh!
Help!
Edward. Help.
I'm your friend.
Stop!
Don't! Stop! Get away, now!
Somebody help us!
Help!
What are you doing?
Get away! Aah!
Get the police!
Somebody call the police!
Hey.
Let go of me!
Why?
Kevin!
Hey!
Kevin! Kevin!
Edward!
Get away!
What happened?
Edward, come home! Come home!
Aah!
Somebody call the police!
- Aah!
- Aah!
- Aah!
Jim, stop it!
Get off him!
Aah!
Run.
Kevins all right!
It was just
the tiniest scratch!
He's gone! Let's not bother him,
all right?
Let's just
leave him alone!
Go on, run.
What happened?
- Did you get him?
- O.K., is he dead?
It's all over.
Go on home.
There's nothing
more to see.
What happened
out there?
It's all over!
I want some answers.
It is all over.
Where is he?
Where is he?
Get back here!
I want to ask you something!
Do you see him?
Wait!
I want to ask you...
He's in that car.
Look at that.
I don't believe it.
They don't have him.
I'm going!
No! That's not a good idea!
They're coming?
Did I hurt Kevin?
No, he's O.K.
Mostly he was just scared.
Edward, I was so afraid.
I thought
you were dead.
I didn't.
No!
No!
No!
Jim, stop!
No!
No!
Stop!
Stop it,
or I'll kill you myself.
Aah!
Hey! I said stay away from her!
Goodbye.
I love you.
Aah! Oh!
- Aah!
- Oh!
- Oh!
Is he in there?
He's dead.
The roof caved in on him.
They killed each other.
You can see
for yourselves.
See?
I'm going home.
She never
saw him again.
Not after that night.
How do you know?
Because I was there.
You could
have gone up there.
You still could go.
No, sweetheart.
I'm an old woman now.
I would rather he remember me
the way I was.
How do you know
he's still alive?
I don't know,
not for sure, but...
I believe he is.
You see...
before he came down here,
it never snowed.
And afterwards...
it did.
If he weren't
up there now,
I don't think
it would be snowing.
Sometimes you can still catch me
dancing in it.