For Me and My Gal (1942) Movie Script
Whoa, nelly! Whoa!
Right here.
- Hi, Jim.
- Hello, Bill. Cold enough?
You're darn right.
You got any passengers?
No. Just a few actors.
- Hiya, neighbor.
- Hiya.
- You a couple of actors?
- That's right.
You don't look like actors.
I got a piece of news for you.
This doesn't look like a town.
- Say, that's a nifty!
- You like that?
What do you think of this?
Know what Julius Caesar said...
...when Brutus stabbed him?
- No.
- Ouch!
- Ouch.
That's all right.
Where did you get that?
That's one of my father's jokes.
What are you, one of your mother's?
Say, he looks like an actor.
You called it, friend.
Harry Palmer, single O.
- How you doing?
- Hi. I'm Jimmy Metcalfe...
How you doing? Glad to see you.
Well, hiya, chicks.
Meet Harry Palmer, headliner.
- Do we have to answer that?
- Bus for the hotel! The hotel bus!
- Is that it?
- Yes, sir.
Go ahead, kids. Get in the bus.
Sid and I will bring the bags.
Hello, Springtime.
Aren't you a little out of season?
Who's the guy with the squirrel
around his neck?
- Single act, name of Palmer.
- His act can't be as funny as that coat.
Hey, how do you like this billing?
"Harry Palmer, America's
foremost comedy juggler and dancer. "
That's the way it's gonna read
someday at the Palace too.
Say, how long you been
with this stale act?
Are you kidding?
Jimmy Metcalfe has a great act.
And it's gonna be better too.
Wait till you hear the terrific arrangement
he's buying.
- Arrangement? Where?
- Right here. The orchestra leader.
He writes sensational stuff.
Thanks, kid.
I'll give you a joke sometime.
Lou, you can't expect my girls to dress
way up on the third floor.
- They got changes.
- Sorry, Jimmy.
I hand out dressing rooms
according to billing.
I know, but Palmer won't mind.
He looks like a swell guy.
- Lf it's okay by Palmer, it's okay by me.
- Thanks!
Hey, kids! Kids, it's okay!
We're moving!
- Hiya, maestro. I'm Harry Palmer.
- How do you do?
I hear you got a terrific arrangement.
- How did you hear?
- Jimmy Metcalfe told me.
- He did?
- Sure.
Look, I'm breaking in a new act.
If the arrangement's good,
I'll give you 50 bucks.
- I promised it to Jimmy.
- He won't be needing it.
- That act is gonna fold any day.
- It is?
- Sure.
- Gee whiz.
- What do you say?
- I promised it to Jimmy.
- Fifty bucks.
- I sure can use that 50.
When Jimmy gets the act fixed up...
...we're not gonna have to play
these dumps anymore.
What's the idea of putting her
in my dressing room?
I'm sorry. The young ladies
in Mr. Metcalfe's act got changes.
I know when to be nice to young ladies.
I'm topping this bill...
...and I rate the number one room!
- Okay, Mr. Palmer. Okay.
Sorry, kids. Mr. Palmer insists
on having this room.
You'll have to dress upstairs.
Let's not keep the gentleman waiting.
- After all, he's number one.
- Yeah.
There's nothing lower than number one.
- I bet he bows every time he hears thunder.
- Yeah.
- See what I mean?
- I see what you mean. Go on, Lily.
- Say, you know, I was...
- Pardon me.
This doll shoppe
is my joy and pride.
That is no folderal.
The people come
from far and wide
to buy my pretty doll.
I have got girl doll, boy doll,
wonderful mechanical toy doll,
dancing doll, prancing doll...
[doorbell rings]
Bonjour monsieur,
dite moi que volez vous.
La Belle, Mameselle,
I want one thing of you.
You see I...
I want a beautiful doll.
A great big beautiful doll.
I want a doll
that I can find romance with.
A doll that I can
sing and dance with.
And if you have such a doll
such and won.. won.. wonderful doll.
You may wrap it up,
and I will pay in cash.
But wrap it carefully
so that it won't smash.
Oh me, show me,
a great big beautiful doll.
The first doll I will show to you
will knock you for the loopie.
She is the latest
style, tis true...
My extra special kewpee.
Buzz... ping.
Those yahka-hickey, hoola dolls
are really much too faddy.
Monsieur, I have but
one more left,
that's the doll that
cries out "Daddy. "
Daddy!
Buzz...
Da... ddy,
don't leave me Daddy.
Won't you tell me
why you're leaving.
When you're near me, Dearie,
life can be as cheerie,
oh, oh, what a feel..
... ing.
Think what you're missing,
lot's of huggin'
and some kissing.
I don't care how
mean you are to me.
Daddy, dontcha you leave
me now, Sweet Poppa.
Daddy, dontcha you
leave me now.
Oh you beautiful doll
you great big beautiful doll.
Let me put my
arms about you.
I don't want to
live without you.
Oh you beautiful doll
you great big beautiful doll.
If you ever leave me
how my heart would ache.
I want to hug you
but I fear you'd break.
Oh, oh, oh,
oh, you beautiful doll.
Oh, oh, oh,
oh, you beautiful doll.
[Applause]
[music begins: Sailor's Hornpipe]
[clunk]
By the sea, by the sea,
by the beautiful sea!
You and I, you and I,
oh, how happy we'll be!
When each wave
comes a'rolling in
We will duck or swim,
And we'll float and
fool around the water.
Over and under,
and then up for air.
Pa is rich, Ma is rich,
so now what do we care.
I like to be beside your side,
beside the sea,
Beside the seaside,
by the beautiful sea.
I like to be beside your side,
beside the sea,
Beside the seaside,
by the beautiful sea.
[aplause]
- We weren't a three-alarm fire.
- Don't worry.
- We'll be a hit in bigger places.
- Hope so.
- Danny!
- Jo.
I'm glad to see you.
How'd you get out of school?
I told the dean you were playing.
He let me cut classes.
Well, that's wonderful! I'm sorry.
Jimmy, this is my brother, Danny.
- How do you do?
- Oh, glad to see you.
And I'm sure glad you're her brother.
Well, I'll see you later.
- Oh, don't go.
- Oh, no. You two go on.
Have a good talk. I'll see you in a while.
It's awfully nice to know you, Danny.
- He's a nice guy.
- He's the nicest fella you'll meet.
Come on. Sit down.
Now, tell me something.
- Same old thing.
- You beginning to feel like a doctor?
Well, I can spell "stethoscope. "
Well, stand up. Well, stand up.
Come on.
Oh, boy! You're gonna be
a tall doctor.
Tell me, when do you
have to go back to school?
Jo...
I'm not going back.
- What?
- I'm not going back.
Why? What's the matter?
Did something happen at school?
- Oh, no, no. Nothing like that.
- Well, then what is it?
Well, it just doesn't make sense.
I sit in a nice, warm dormitory,
and you wear yourself out...
...in a lot of Clifton Junctions.
- What kind of talk is that?
- I just saw your act.
- What's the matter with our act?
Oh, nothing. Nothing's the matter with it.
You're great.
It just seems to me
the act isn't getting anywhere.
- If you didn't have me around your neck...
- Listen to me.
You ought to be ashamed,
talking to me like that.
Didn't we make a deal once?
Well, didn't we?
You go through medical school
and pay me back with interest.
This is a fine time to quit.
Your last year. You're doing great.
- I'm not gonna let you quit.
- But, Jo...
What do you want to be?
A no-good tramp or something?
Danny.
You're not working any hardship on me.
Don't you see, honey?
I love it. I'd be doing it anyway.
And you're gonna stay in medical school.
I gotta make sure somebody in this family
is a success.
All aboard!
- So long.
- Don't forget to send that picture.
- Yeah.
- All aboard!
- I better be going.
- Bye.
Goodbye.
We're gonna be all right, you and I.
Goodbye. Goodbye, honey.
- See you at the Palace, kid.
- All right, doctor. It's a date.
- Goodbye.
- Bye.
Hiya, Springtime. Going my way?
Say, you know it's not safe
for a pretty girl to be walking around...
...by herself.
Oh, why don't you come off it?
You know you're gonna wind up
calling me pet names.
Well, of all the...
Tempo, Springtime!
Tempo, tempo!
I didn't like you at 7:00 this morning
and I don't like you now.
If you keep playing your cards right,
I'm gonna hate you.
So why don't you just evaporate,
fade away, dissolve?!
I want to talk to you about business.
- Write me a letter.
- It's too important.
Fancy face, I caught you on-stage
this afternoon.
You sing like a bird, dance like a deer,
look like a wedding ring...
...but that act you're with...
- That's two pins and a lollipop.
- What do you mean?
It's murder. That's what I mean.
Why don't you get bright?
You're too fast for that buggy.
And why don't you mind
your own business?
That's just the point.
It is my business.
Next season, I'm doing a double act,
throwing away the baggy pants.
Don't look now, Springtime.
You're gonna be my partner.
- Oh, I am, huh?
- You said it.
Standing next to me, you'll look
like a million bucks in nickels and dimes.
I can see those three-sheets:
Palmer and Hayden!
- We'll tear down theaters...
- I wouldn't be your partner...
...if they booked us into the Palace
for 51 weeks a year.
- I don't get it. Why?
- Oh, so many reasons.
But you wouldn't understand
any of them.
Gee, I feel sorry for you.
Hey, wait a minute.
Look, Miss Hayden.
I'm sorry.
Your act is all right. Oh, it needs
a little punching up here and there, but...
- Why don't you take this?
- What's that?
It's the arrangement I bought. The one
you and Metcalfe were supposed to get.
- But you were...
- No. Go ahead.
All that big talk about me
breaking down theaters...
...that's strictly small-town talk
on a cold night.
- Oh, I'm sorry. I spoke so...
- No. Forget it. You had me pegged.
I'm never gonna win any blue ribbons
for being a nice guy.
- Well, I...
- Say, would you...?
- Oh, skip it.
- What?
I was gonna ask you to have a cup
of coffee, but after the way I...
Well, I'd love to have a cup of coffee.
- You would?
- Sure.
- Two coffees, please.
- Two coffees. Yes.
How long you been in show business?
I wasn't really in it until Jimmy
gave me a chance. You?
- All my life. Do you like it?
- I love it.
I'd rather sing and dance than, well...
...eat.
- I can tell that by the way you work.
- You're good.
- No. I'm not good yet.
But I will be someday.
You know, I've got kind of a...
- You'd probably laugh at me if I told you.
- No, I wouldn't. What?
Well, I've got kind of a goal
in my mind.
It's the same goal
every vaudeville actor has...
...only I'm really going to get there.
I used to think I'd play the Palace
someday too.
- Well, maybe you will.
- Not me.
You had my number, all right.
Just a cheap tramp comic.
- Oh, I wouldn't say that.
- Why not? It's the truth.
Take that stuff, for instance.
I'm not so sure I can do it.
- Then why'd you buy it?
- I liked it.
It sure is a knockout.
- Want to hear it?
- Sure. Love to.
Okay.
If you've heard my kind
of voice before,... stop me.
All right.
The Bells are ring... ringing
for me and my gal.
The birds are...
[laughing] Wait a minute.
You better let me do it.
Okay.
Now...
Ding-dong, ding-dong,
do you hear the bells go ding-dong?
Do you know, do you know
why they're ringin'?
Do you know
why the birds are singin'?
Well you're gonna get a big surprise,
'cause I'm gonna put you wise.
The bells are ringin'
for me and my gal,
The birds are singin'
for me and my gal.
Everybody's been knowing
To a wedding they're going
And for weeks
they've been sewing,
Every Susie and Sal.
They're congregatin'...
Here's the church,
...for me and my gal,
And here's the steeple.
The Parson's waitin'...
Open the door...
...for me and my gal,
and there's the people.
And sometime
We're gonna to build
a little home for two,
or three or four or more,
In Loveland
for me and my gal.
The bells are ringing
for me and my gal.
The birds are singing
for me and my gal.
Everybody's been knowing,
to a wedding they're going.
And for weeks they've been sewing,
they've been sewing
something old and something new so,
something that is blue so
they can make a trousseau for my gal.
They're congregatin'
for me and my gal. Look, here, why!
that's the Parson
waitin' for me and my gal.
And sometime we're
gonna build a little home
for two
or three
or four
or five
or maybe more
Loveland for me and my gal...
Remember this one?
And this.
You know what I can't
eat for breakfast?
Why, no,
I haven't the slightest idea.
Tell me, what can't
you eat for breakfast?
Luncheon and dinner.
[sigh] Ha! Oh!
Here comes that Loveland again.
In Loveland for me and my gal.
[laughter, applause]
Oh, yes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Do we click or don't we?
- That was wonderful! You were perfect!
- What a great finale for a double act!
- We'd have to get a different opening.
- A slower one.
- We come on together.
You go off for a quick change.
I do my soft-shoe routine, and then we...
What's the matter?
I guess I forgot.
- Twenty-six, please.
- Oh, yes.
Thank you.
- Well, it was fun while it lasted.
- Yeah. Here.
No. You keep it. You can do it.
You proved it.
Nope. It takes two.
- Well, please. L...
- It's yours.
Do it with Metcalfe or tear it up.
Anyway, it's yours, nobody else's.
Well, thank you.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Wait a minute.
I played a dirty trick on you.
You better know.
Then you won't feel so bad.
When I offered to give you that song...
...I really didn't mean it.
I was playing you for a sap.
I wanted to fix it so you'd give me
a chance to try out with you.
And all that sob stuff
about me being ashamed of myself...
...that was just a bid for sympathy.
I wasn't ashamed.
I thought I was being pretty cute.
I'm ashamed now though.
And this time, when I say I'm a heel...
...well, I'm not kidding.
Well, I'm glad you told me.
Good night.
Good night.
Hi.
- Well, make yourself at home.
- Thanks. I already have.
Danny get off all right?
He sure took his time about it.
I began to think...
...they were holding you ransom.
Well, I stopped in to get some coffee.
When you didn't come back,
I walked by the station.
I thought maybe I might run into you.
I saw you through a window.
I heard you too.
Gosh, you two were swell together.
Terrific!
Weren't we, Jimmy?
But those after-the-show acts,
they never hold up.
Jo. Did Harry Palmer ask you
to team up with him?
- How'd you know?
- He'd be crazy if he didn't.
I saw you together.
You're a natural for each other.
Look, Jimmy.
I'm kind of sleepy.
What...?
What did you tell him, Jo?
I told him I already had a job.
Yeah?
Well, you haven't.
- What do you mean?
- I'm breaking up the act, Jo.
Oh, no, you're not.
I'm not gonna have you making
noble sacrifices on my account.
Who said anything about your account? And
who said anything about noble sacrifices?
I'm a comic.
I should have known that before.
I don't know what I was messing up my act
with girls and music and stuff like that.
Besides...
...I've got a new idea
that I'd like to try out with Sid.
Just the two of us.
Well, what made you decide all this
tonight?
I should have thought of it long ago,
but you know me, putting things off...
You know how it's been.
The act's not doing well.
I had a wire from Eddie,
said he can't get us bookings.
Lily's talking about leaving, and...
Well, it's the only thing to do, that's all.
If I thought you were trying
to pave the way for me...
Now, wait a minute. What are you
talking about? This is business.
No fooling. I wouldn't joke
about a thing like that.
It's good business too.
For everybody.
Oh, Jimmy. You're sweet.
- You're just as sweet as they come.
- Do you want to know something?
That goes for you too, double.
I'm gonna kind of miss you, kiddo.
Working with you hasn't been
like working at all.
- It's been more like...
- Palmer and Hayden.
Gee, think of that.
Palmer and Hayden.
It's the way we're gonna bill ourselves.
- Isn't that wonderful?
- Sounds swell.
Oh, I gotta tell him now, right away.
When you wore a tulip,
a big yellow tulip,
and I wore a big red rose.
When you caressed me,
'twas then Heaven blessed me,
what a blessing no one knows.
You made life cheery
when you called me Dearie,
'twas down where the bluegrass grows,
your lips were sweeter than julep,
when you wore a tulip,
and I wore a big red rose.
- Don't you think
you better go to bed?
Yeah. I guess so.
How I hate those man-traps.
Oh, well,
you take the lower tonight.
I wouldn't know how to act in one.
Hey, George.
- Whenever you're ready.
- Yes, sir.
Hey, listen to this.
"Eddie Melton has booked Jimmy Metcalfe,
comic...
...with Sid Simms
on the Orpheum circuit.
Metcalfe opens the 19th in Minneapolis. "
Isn't that wonderful? Look.
See? Here.
- I'd like a crack at some Orpheum time.
- Oh, now, Harry.
Well, I'm sick of playing
these two-bit towns.
- Chicago isn't a two-bit town.
- The part we're playing is.
Why must everything happen here
and now? You think that we have...
Yes, sir. I'll make it right up for you.
- I'll take that.
- I'll go back and have a cigarette.
- Let me know when he's finished, will you?
- Yeah.
- This a private car, sir.
- Excuse me. I was looking for the club...
Oh, I'm sorry. I was just
on my way back for a cigarette.
- I must have got off at the wrong floor.
- Why don't you have your cigarette here?
- Well, thanks a lot, but I...
- Please.
- I'd like one myself.
- Well, thanks. That's mighty nice of you.
- That's all, Celeste.
- Yes, ma'am.
Oh, excuse me.
Drink?
- Sure.
- Chartreuse, creme de menthe, vieille cure?
Surprise me.
- There you are.
- Thanks.
Say, this sure beats a club car, all right.
And better-looking people too.
Say! You're not...?
Well, I'll be darned. Imagine me,
sitting here with Eve Minard!
Say, you're not really...?
How do you like that? Guess you
never heard of me. Harry Palmer.
- Harry Palmer?
- Of Palmer and Hayden.
Oh, yes, certainly.
A fellow artist.
Nothing less. Get a load of this.
- Very nice.
- You get the rough idea.
- I must come and see you.
- I open in Chicago tomorrow.
- A full week too.
- Really? I open there tomorrow.
- At the Majestic?
- Well, no.
They booked me into
a smaller house this time.
- It's a good one though, for its size.
- Oh, that's fine.
Chicago seems to be much
more inviting now.
Well, the pleasure's all mine. If you want
to see the town, I'm your man.
Chicago, Boston, Detroit,
they're all the same. Except New York.
- That is a city.
- I suppose you've played the Palace.
Palace? Which one?
Which one?
Oh, there's only one real Palace.
- New York.
- Oh, yes. Yes, I've played there.
And I have a return engagement
before I sail.
Do you like to play there?
Yes. I like to play there very much.
- More?
- Sure. Why not?
Come to think about it,
I never caught your act.
- No?
- I know that you sing and all that...
...but what kind of stuff?
- Many kinds.
- Rags or ballads?
- As you like. I have it!
You danced for me,
I will sing for you, if I may.
- That'd be great.
- What will you like to hear?
Don't make it too highbrow.
You gotta gauge your audience.
- Give them something they'll understand.
- I think you'll understand this.
Most people do.
- Say, that's wonderful!
- You like that?
Do I? It's terrific!
Let's have an encore.
- Lf you wish.
- Certainly, I wish.
- Oh, hello, Jo. How do you feel?
- How do you feel?
Here's the other half of my act,
Miss Hayden.
- Won't you come in?
- Jo, this is...
Yes. Miss Minard.
I play your records over and over again.
- I love them.
- Thank you.
Well, I was just about
to come on back and turn in.
- Thanks for the song. It was swell.
- I hope you won't forget.
- I'll be at the Majestic.
- Forget?
- Well, good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Quite a dame, isn't she?
- Yes, she is.
Four grand a week. Oh, boy.
- Well, good night, kid.
- Good night, Harry.
- Come in.
- Ladies and gentlemen...
...I now give you Jimmy Metcalfe!
- Jimmy, darling!
How are you, Jo? Let me look at you.
My golly, you look swell!
- You're supposed to be in Minneapolis.
- We closed last night. A mild sensation.
- How is your act?
- Oh, fine.
Come on. Sit here, Jimmy.
Gee, it's good to see you.
Well, it's good to see you...
Say, who's this, General Pershing?
No. That's Danny.
He's enlisted.
No! What about the medical career?
- He's going back after the war.
- Doesn't he look swell?
- Yeah.
- Where's Harry?
Harry?
He's out with a friend.
You'll never guess who either.
- Eve Minard.
- Eve Minard!
Say, he's traveling
in pretty fast company, isn't he?
Yeah. Well...
...you know Harry.
She's a big success...
...and she's pretty...
...and, well...
Jo, you're in love
with that guy, aren't you?
Harry? Oh, no.
- I'm not in love.
- Hey, hey, shorty.
Remember me? Jimmy Metcalfe, the fella
that played Clifton Junction with you?
Oh, Jimmy.
It's way down deep inside of me.
He's wrong, and I love him.
He's right, and I love him.
It's no good.
Gee, what do you do
when you love somebody so much...
...and they don't
even know you're around?
I don't know, Jo.
I guess you just
keep right on loving them.
Watch your step.
I forgot to ask you.
When do you open in St. Paul?
- St. Paul?
- Say, Jo.
- Well, hello, stranger.
- Hi, Harry.
- I hear you're doing all right.
- Not so bad.
- Like to see a fella get ahead.
- You've got a few minutes.
You better go on first
and give me a chance to change.
All right. But hurry, please.
Jo. How about having supper with me
after the show tonight?
Fine. We have to catch a train at midnight.
We open tomorrow in Milwaukee.
- Do you suppose he'd like to come?
- I'll ask him.
- I'll see you later.
- All right, Jimmy.
Make it good, shorty.
I'll be out front watching you.
Harry? Jimmy wants to know if we
can have supper later. Can you make it?
I'd like to,
but I got a date with Eve.
Oh, well, you better hurry
or you'll miss your cue.
After you've gone and left me cryin',
after you've gone there's no denyin',
you'll feel blue, you'll feel sad.
You'll miss the dearest
pal you've ever had.
There'll come a time,
now don't forget it.
There'll come a time
when you'll regret it,
someday, when you grow lonely
Your heart will break like mine
and you'll want me only
after you've gone,
after you've gone away.
After you've gone
and left me cryin',
after you've gone
there's no denyin',
you're gonna feel blue,
and you're gonna feel sad,
you're gonna feel bad.
And you'll miss, and you'll miss,
and you'll miss the
bestest pal you ever had.
There'll come a time,
now don't forget it,
there'll come a time
when you'll regret it.
Baby, think what you're doin'.
I'm gonna haunt you so,
I'm gonna taunt you so.
It's gonna drive you to ruin
after you've gone,
after you've gone away.
- That will be all, Celeste.
- Yes, ma'am.
Miss Minard.
- Oh, hello.
- Hello.
- Could I see you a moment, please?
- I'm sorry, but I...
I expect a guest.
Yes, I know, but this will
only take a moment. Please.
Well, what is it, my dear?
Well, I wanted to talk to you...
Yes?
I thought...
I'm sorry.
- Lf you'll excuse me.
- Wait a moment.
I know you have something to say,
and I would like to hear it.
What is it?
Sit down, please.
I had my speech all memorized, and it
was gonna be pretty dramatic, I guess.
But I got stage fright.
It's about Harry.
You see, I love him.
And you're such a big person,
that I thought...
Well, it's hard to say, but...
...I love him.
And you're worried about me?
No. It's not that.
- But...
- You needn't worry, my dear.
I have no designs on him.
Thank you.
- I hope you don't think that I just...
- Don't apologize, Miss Hayden.
I loved someone like you love Harry, and I
didn't realize it until a long time afterwards.
Much too long.
But I should have done
what you're doing now.
Thank you.
- But I'm sorry you love him so much.
- Why?
- Because he isn't worth it.
- Oh, no, you're wrong. He's...
- He's...
- He's an opportunist...
...an egotistical actor who
will do anything to get what he wants.
He'll make you very unhappy
one day, my dear.
Oh, no, you're wrong.
Harry isn't bad.
I know because
I'm closer to him than anyone.
- I know.
- You know.
He'd leave you in a minute
if I made him an offer.
- Oh, I don't believe that.
- Would you like to have me try?
Oh, no, I don't believe that.
It might be better to get hurt
all at once and get it over with.
- I'm not afraid.
- Shall I ask him?
Well, I...
You can get to the elevator this way.
- I am afraid.
- Go on. Quickly!
- Hello, Eve. Here's Adam.
- Good evening, Harry.
- Say, what are we celebrating?
- Harry, I have a surprise for you.
- Well, come on. Let's have it.
- How would you like to join my act?
- What?
- How would you like to join my act?
- Come on, Eve. You're giving it to me.
- No, no. I'm very serious.
You are?
You're asking if I want to tour with you
and play the Palace?
Yes.
Holy...
Hallelujah! Wait till I tell Jo!
Jo.
You want her to go too, don't you?
Well, she's probably very talented,
but, after all, I'm a singer myself.
Oh, well,
that's a different proposition.
- Gee, I...
- Well, then let's forget about it.
Hey, wait a minute.
Who said anything about forgetting?
You don't know Jo.
She's the top of the deck. She wouldn't
stand in my way. She's a trouper.
When do we start?
- Tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
Well, what's holding us up?
Come on. Let's have a drink on it.
Here's to Harry Palmer,
heading for the Palace.
- Harry.
- Yeah?
When you see Miss Hayden,
tell her something for me.
Sure.
Tell her...
...I'm sorry.
Come in.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- You packed?
- No.
- Train leaves at 12:30, you know.
- Yeah, I know.
Look at this.
Looks like the rats have been at it.
You'd think that in a city like Chicago...
...they'd know how to launder a blouse.
- Yeah.
Say, Jo.
I want to ask you sort of a question.
Supposing somebody had been offered
a chance...
...to do something they'd been wanting
to do for a long time.
Yeah?
Well, supposing their accepting this offer
meant hurting somebody else maybe.
Well, what would you do?
Oh, I don't know.
I guess it would depend on how important
the thing was to me.
And if it was really important...
...I guess I'd go ahead and do it.
- You would?
- Sure.
- You only live once, you know.
- Yeah, I know...
...but it's kind of hard making
up your mind.
It's funny, you bringing up
a question like that.
I've got kind of the same problem.
- And it is hard too.
- What do you mean?
- Harry...
- Yeah?
...Jimmy wants me
to come back in his act.
Yeah?
Do you want to go back to him?
Well, I don't know. I...
He made me
a pretty good offer.
Well, after all, we...
We all want to get ahead,
you know?
- I mean, that's only human.
- Well, look, Jo.
I don't want to stand in your way.
If you want to go, go ahead and go.
- Honest?
- Sure. Go right ahead.
You're not just trying to be nice,
are you?
No, of course not!
Look, there's no use kidding ourselves.
We both know things haven't panned out
as well as we thought.
So if you can get a break,
go ahead, take it.
Oh, come on, Springtime.
No hearts and flowers. Not from you.
- Look, we're both gonna be on top.
- Sure.
Good luck, Jo...
...and lots of it.
Hey, what's the big idea?
Say, you're not crying
because you feel sorry for me, are you?
There's no need to do that because tonight
I was over at Eve's, and she asked...
Oh, Jo, please don't cry.
- Please. I'm not worth it, I tell you.
- I can't help it.
Honey, I wish you'd stop.
Oh, please, darling, please.
- Harry, Harry.
- Oh, honey.
Say, what hit us?
Oh, it hit me a long time ago.
Well, I'll be darned.
- Harry.
- Yeah.
What was it Eve asked you to do tonight?
Oh, forget it.
We gotta get going! We gotta make
that train, and you gotta help me pack!
The nerve of that Metcalfe,
trying to break up my act...
...and trying to steal my girl too.
I'll push his face in.
The time I've wasted. Why didn't you
tell me I was in love with you?
I didn't know,
and I can hardly believe it now.
I'll make you believe it, all right.
Hey, what's this?
Look! "Palmer and Hayden
booked into Palace New York...
...first week in September.
Congratulations, Eddie. "
- Harry!
- Is this our lucky day, or isn't it?
First we fall in love, and now this!
We're on the big time, baby.
We're on the big time.
We're gonna play the Palace!
- The Palace!
- It would have been wonderful anyway...
...but now it's even more wonderful!
Oh, Harry, look out!
Know what we'll do
after the first matinee?
- Have dinner?
- We're gonna get married.
Married. Harry!
Oh, darling!
- Well, here you are at last.
- Take a look at it. Amateur night is over.
Take the elevator
to your dressing room.
- Thank you very much.
- Jimmy!
- Hey, Jo!
- Hello!
- Well, I'll be two ifs and a but.
- Hello!
- Glad to see you!
- Are you opening here today too?
- What do you mean, "too"?
- What do you know?
After all this time,
we're all playing the Palace.
- I hope you have to follow us on!
- Listen to him.
We'd better get
our dressing room key.
Palmer and Hayden, please.
And after the matinee,
we'll just be using one dressing room.
Say, you don't mean to tell me
you're gonna marry this lug?
- Well, only for 150 years or so.
- What do you know?
Open at the Palace, and close
at the little church around the corner.
My gosh, Harry, that's swell.
And I hope you're a hit in both places.
Thanks, Jimmy.
- Isn't anybody gonna give a party?
- Sure, somebody's gonna give a...
I'm gonna give a party after the show.
- Wonderful! Danny will be in from camp too.
- There's no Palmer and Hayden here.
- What?
- I don't see the name.
It's gotta be, we open this afternoon.
Well, it is not on my list...
Oh, Mr. Waring?
- He won't give us our keys.
- We're Palmer and Hayden.
Palmer and Hayden?
You're not booked in here.
- We're not booked?
- There must be some mistake.
- Well, so here we are.
- Eddie.
Hello, Harry. Hello, Jo.
Say, you must have got in early.
What do you think of our big boy?
You wired us we were to play here,
and they never heard of us.
- I wired you what?
- Go on, show it to him.
Here.
This says "Palmer and Hayden booked
into the Palace New York. "
- I know it does.
- Would I say the Palace New York?
Would anybody except a stenographer
who wasn't paying attention?
- What do you mean?
- Well, there's only one Palace.
Nobody has to tell you where that is.
You meant...
- You meant some other Palace?
- Certainly. I said it. The girl got it wrong.
It's the Palace over in Newark.
You open there Wednesday for a split week.
A split week.
In Newark.
It's all right.
Why did you say "congratulations,"
"great opportunity," and build it up?
Because it is a great opportunity.
Newark's so close.
These circuits send scouts.
One might catch your act and like it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a great chance.
Don't give me that.
Gee, I'm sorry, kiddo.
Gee.
Gee, Jo.
Maybe you should have stayed with him.
You could be going up in that elevator too.
I'd rather stay
on the ground floor.
Well, they still got us booked
at the little church around the corner.
Still want to?
We gotta open somewhere.
Harry...
I'll marry you now.
I'll marry you anytime you say, but...
...we always agreed that we'd get married
after our first matinee at the Palace.
Let's keep it that way, huh?
Tell me why night's are lonesome.
Tell me why days are blue.
Tell me why all the sunshine
comes just at one time
when I'm with you.
Why do I hate to go, dear.
and hate to say goodbye.
now somehow it's always so, dear,
and if you know dear,
- please tell me why.
- And then this girl said to me,
She said, "Where'd you
ride horses this summer?"
I said, "The same place
I did my ice skating last winter. "
Well, fellas, here's to...
Well, here's to...
Here's to.
Say, I wonder where Danny is.
I don't know. He was supposed
to be here a long time ago.
Here he is now!
Hiya, Danny.
You know everybody, don't you?
- What kept you so long?
- Why, we got our sailing orders.
- When do you have to go?
- Right away.
- Right away?
- Yeah, I just got time to say goodbye.
Well, I guess I'm holding up the Army.
So long, Danny.
- Good luck to you, kid.
- Thanks.
- Bye, corporal.
- Bye, Sid. Goodbye.
- Take care of yourself, soldier.
- Yeah.
I sure wish I could postpone
the war long enough...
...to hear you sing again.
Well...
- So long, everybody.
- So long, Danny.
Smile the while you kiss me sad adieu.
When the clouds roll by
I'll come to you.
Then the skies will seem more blue
down in lovers lane, my dearie.
Wedding bells will ring so merrily.
Every tear will be a memory.
- So wait and pray each night for me. - See
you at the Palace, kid. - It's a date... doctor.
Till we meet
Again
We don't want the bacon.
We don't want the bacon.
What we want is a piece of the Rhine.
We'll crown "Bill the Kaiser"
with a bottle of Budweiser.
We'll have a wonderful time.
Old Wilhelm Der Gross
will shout Vas is Los?"
When we hit that Hindenburg line.
Fine!
The Army and Navy forever.
Three cheers for the red, white and blue.
- Boy, is he hokey. - But they
like it. - We don't want the bacon.
We don't want the bacon.
What we want is a piece of the Rhine.
They're yours.
What's left of them.
- Come on, let's show them.
- You bet we'll show them.
From coast to coast,
from Canada to Mexico,
they're doing a new dance
the tried and true.
Yes, it will sweep the land,
and you'll think it's so grand.
You'll have to learn how to do it,
so please don't poo poo it.
'Cause we got this little dance,
it's gonna rise to fame.
It's sure to put most
any other dance to shame.
The Turkey Trot, the
Bunny Hug, the Tickly Toe,
will be forgotten when
we start to go.
Mr. Leader, won't you start the syncopation,
and we'll begin our little demonstration.
Now, first, you put your
two knees close up tight,
then you sway 'em to the left,
and you sway 'em to the right.
Step around the floor kinda nice and light
then you twist around
and twist around with all of your might.
Stretch your lovin' arms
straight out in space,
then you do the Eagle Rock
with style and grace.
Swing your foot way
'round and bring it back,
now that's what I call Ballin' the Jack
Ballin' the Jack
[cheering and applause]
- Guys, I'm tired...
- Hey, you were great!
Yeah, in Newark. Where are the scouts
you said were coming?
- Well, here's one.
- Hey, were you out front?
You wanted the Palace.
Now you've got it.
The Palace, New York.
Keep it straight this time.
- Hey, you mean it?
- Your audience out there meant it.
Oh, boy!
If they cheer in Newark,
you can phone it in.
- Second week in October?
- Over a month away!
- I won't be able to sleep!
- All right?
- You bet it is!
- Bert, about the kids' salary...
I never discuss details
in front of the artists.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye. And thanks.
- It's here, honey. This time it's the McCoy.
- Yes, darling!
Say...
Wasn't there some kind of talk
about a wedding?
Stupid, why do you think I've been
anxious to make the Palace?
- Get dressed. We gotta celebrate.
- All right.
You can celebrate in Newark,
can't you?
I could lead a parade
in a telephone booth.
A month is a chance
to polish the act.
- Right.
- We can dig up a new song.
Yeah. What kind of a song, Harry?
Harry, what kind of a song?
Honey, what kind of...?
What's the matter?
You've been drafted.
Not yet, I'm not.
- Well, Harry, it says...
- I don't care what it says there!
Think anything's gonna stand in the way
of playing the Palace?
Oh, no. Not even a war!
I know how you feel.
After all the plans we'd had.
- What can you do?
- Plenty.
I can do plenty!
I'll beat this.
There must be somebody else
you can try.
Look, do you want
us both in jail?
I got two postponements.
Nothing I can do about the one tomorrow.
You have to take
your physical examination.
- But we open Monday.
- Now, look, I've done all I can do.
I got you the Palace.
I ain't booking the war!
Goodbye!
- Well?
- Nothing.
He says he can't do
anything about it.
I guess I'll write a letter to Danny.
Oh, yeah. Go ahead.
I'll see you later.
All right.
Harry, could I use your pen?
- What's the matter?
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
- There is something.
Well, what if there is?
Nagging me won't help!
Kid, I wanna be alone.
Why don't you go back to your room?
I gotta think by myself.
- All right.
- Jo. Look, baby, I didn't mean it.
I've got the jitters, that's all.
I'm sorry.
It's all right. I understand.
- Just take a chair, please.
- Yes, ma'am.
Temporary physical disability.
He's to return in six weeks
for final classification.
Very well, doctor.
Next.
Come on, Jo! Say something.
Tell me, how do I look?
Very brave, Mr. Metcalfe.
Very brave.
- Finish this for me.
- Who's ahead?
If I don't start cheating,
I'll never get even.
- Telegram, Ms. Hayden.
- Thank you.
You don't have to cheat if you see
the moves. You missed one right here.
Hey, Jo, what is it?
What's wrong?
It's...
- It's Danny.
- Danny?
Oh, Jo.
My brother.
Relax, baby, the Palace is okay!
We're gonna kill them.
What's the matter, Jimmy?
Danny.
- Oh, not Danny.
- He's gone.
There, there, now.
Oh, darling, if I could
only make it easier for you.
You don't rate a rotten break like this.
He could have been
such a great doctor.
Great doctor.
But Danny wouldn't
want you to cry.
If he could speak to you now,
he'd tell you he was happy.
Remember, Jo,
Danny did what he wanted to do.
Harry.
What happened to your hand?
It's nothing. An accident.
I caught it in my trunk.
Don't worry, baby.
It won't keep us from playing the Palace.
It was an accident.
Jo, don't you believe me?
All right then, I did do it!
But I only did it for us.
Well, you believe that, don't you?
Oh, I feel sorry for you.
Terribly, desperately sorry.
Jo, if you'd only listen to me.
You're always acting.
But you'll never make
the big time.
Because you're small-time
in your heart.
There's only one thing
you can do for me.
Leave me alone.
I never want to see you again,
as long as I live.
Never.
But it's just stiff, that's all.
No.
It's crippled permanently.
You mean they won't take me?
Couldn't I enlist?
No, the Army won't take you.
The tendons are severed.
- It won't bother you much...
- They've gotta take me.
- You can do something.
- I'm afraid not.
Then send me to some specialist.
Doc, I gotta get it fixed.
I gotta get in the Army!
I'm sorry. There's nothing
anybody can do to help you.
Next.
Sit down.
- Hello, Harry. How are you?
- Eddie, where's Jo?
You have to tell me. Where is she?
I have to see her.
I'm going out of my mind. People cross
the street like I'm a house on fire.
Do something. Call someone.
Say I didn't know what I was doing.
Tell them I don't care
about the Palace.
Tell them I hope
it burns to the ground.
Eddie, listen, you're my friend.
You can't shut me out.
All right, I made a mistake.
I did the wrong thing.
All right, I did the worst thing
in the world.
But I know I did it.
Eddie, somebody's gotta believe me.
I wasn't trying to duck the draft.
I wanted a postponement
so Jo and I could play the Palace...
...and get married after the first matinee,
like we planned.
That's all I wanted.
Eddie, look at my hand!
You don't think I wanted that, do you?
They can't shut me out.
I owe those guys that are fighting.
Eddie.
What am I gonna do?
I don't know, kid. It's your package.
You bought it and wrapped it up.
Guess you'll just have
to untie it yourself.
- Who will be the first to buy a bond?
- I will!
- So will we!
- That's it. Step to the table.
Who wants a share of the future
of America?
Come on, folks.
Everybody can help over there.
The nicest part of being an American.
Folks, put your hands in your pockets
and be a hero.
Can I have somebody...?
Hey, Harry. How are you?
Hello, Sid. What are you doing?
Y.M.C.A.
Going to France in two weeks.
- I thought you were drafted.
- I was, but...
Got my physical exam. They said
they'd take me after women and children.
Say, Harry...
Why don't you join up
and come with us?
I'm not going over there to sing
while guys are getting their heads shot off.
- Funny, that's not the way I look at it.
- Well, I do.
You're a good performer. Those fellas
could use a song and dance, and you...
I just thought maybe you
want to go over there.
See you around
the stage door.
Come on, fellas. Everybody out.
Pile out. Pile out there.
Quiet, quiet, quiet.
We don't wanna spend our last day
on leave here.
- I wanna go to one of them...
- Not today.
- I got drinking to do.
- I'll take charge.
Fall in, everybody.
Attention! Right face!
Forward...
What?
C'est la guerre, old boy.
Oh, I see.
- Money.
- Oh, money. That's what you want.
- Johnny, got any of that special money left?
- Yes, sir. I'm loaded.
There you are, my friend.
Ah, that's fine.
There you go.
Wait a minute.
What about my change?
That goes for you too.
All right, everybody. Fall in.
Attention! Right face!
Forward march!
Mademoiselle from Armantiers,
parlez vous?
Detail, halt. Left face.
Fall out.
Now,Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinkin',
said his wifey dear.
Now that things are peaceful and calm
the boys will soon be back on the farm.
Mister Reuben started winkin'
and slowly rubbed his chin,
he pulled his chair up close to mother
and he asked her with a grin,
"H-h-h-how ya gonna keep 'em
down on the farm after they've seen Paree?"
How ya gonna keep 'em away from Broadway?
Jazzin' around and paintin' the town.
How ya gonna keep 'em away from harm?
That's the mystery.
They'll never want to see a rake a plow,
and who the heck can parley-vous a cow?
H- h-h-how ya gonna keep 'em
down on the farm after they've seen Paree?
How ya gonna keep 'em
down on the farm after they've seen Paree?
How ya gonna keep 'em away from Broadway?
Jazzin' around and paintin' the town.
How ya gonna keep 'em away from harm?
That's the mystery.
Imagine Reuben when he meets his pa,
he'll kiss his cheek and holler,"Oo-la-la!"
How ya gonna keep 'em
down on the farm after they've seen,
after they've seen,
after they've seen Paree?
[cheering and applaue]
Jimmy!
Come and let me put my arms
around the Palace Theatre!
How are you, baby?
- There are a lot of strangers in the world.
- My golly, let me look at you.
- You look sensational!
- Thank you.
How about we step out on the town
and show these Frenchmen...
...what you can do in Paris?
Okay, but I got a number to do.
Will you wait?
Sure, I'll wait.
You know something?
We're a cinch to win this war
now that you're here.
I'll only be a minute.
- You sure you don't mind waiting?
- You know me, Jo.
I'm a good waiter.
Hey!
Harry!
- Jimmy!
- How are you, kid?
Gee, I didn't expect to see you.
- How long you been over here?
- I just landed a few hours ago.
What do you know about that?
It's good to see you, Harry.
How's it going?
Not good.
I thought it'd be better over here, but...
...it's not.
It's not better.
Well, what's the trouble, kid?
I'm in the right Army,
but I got the wrong suit on.
You got the right suit,
and the right fella's wearing it.
- Lf you're gonna...
- I wanna tell you something.
Know what's the matter?
You walk around with...
...a picture-book villain in your pocket.
You look at it like a mirror.
- Look, Jimmy...
- Cigarette?
Here's something else
you can put in your book, Harry.
Here, there aren't any heroes
and there aren't any cowards.
Believe me. I've been to the place.
I've seen them.
- Jimmy...
- Light?
They're all just regular guys.
And they all love someone.
That's what makes them
do good things or bad things.
You did something because you thought
it was the right thing to do.
And you had two good reasons
for doing it:
You wanted to get someplace that meant
more to you than anything in the world...
...and because you loved someone
an awful lot.
And those are two
pretty good reasons, Harry.
Especially the last one.
Thanks, actor.
- Can I buy you a drink?
- Can you?
You can buy me the biggest drink...
Say, I just happened to think.
I got a date to meet a fella.
Tell you what.
Sit in that chair and wait for me.
Wait here.
I won't be gone 10 minutes.
Okay.
Here I come, Jimmy.
All signed, sealed and deliv...
Harry.
- What are you...?
- Jo.
Gosh.
I never expected...
Jo.
I certainly am surprised to see you.
For a minute, I thought...
Jo, don't talk. Just stand there.
Okay. I've got it.
How have you been, Harry?
How's everything in New York?
It's a funny thing. The other day, I was...
Jo.
You don't have to skip rope for me.
I know the boat has sailed
as far as we're concerned.
And I'm not gonna tell you
the bells are ringing for me and my gal.
I know I'm not a great guy
in a lot of people's books, but...
...I don't care
about a lot of people.
Jo...
...you're looking the other way.
Coming over in the boat,
I took an inventory.
And you know something?
Right up to this minute,
my only claim to fame:
You were once my girl.
Jo.
You have to tell me...
...not a million other people,
but you, have to tell me...
...that I'm not a coward...
...and that you don't hate me.
That's the medal I want to win
in this war.
You're not a coward, Harry.
And you know that...
That I'd never hate you.
Thanks, Jo.
Thanks an awful lot.
And I'll take good care
of that medal.
[band playing "Over There"]
It's a long way to Tipperary,
it's a long way to go.
It's a long way to Tipperary,
to the sweetest girl I know...
Goodbye Broadway, hello, France.
We're ten million strong.
We're gonna kick the Kaiser
in his pants,
and it isn't gonna take us,
isn't gonna take us,
isn't gonna take us long.
[band playing "Yankee Doodle"]
There are smiles that make us happy,
there are smiles that make us blue;
there are smiles that steal away the teardrops
as the sunbeams steal away the dew.
[band playing "Mademoiselle from Armentires"]
Oh, Frenchie, oh Frenchie, Frenchie
although your language is so new to me.
Oui, oui, oui.
When you say "Oui, oui," la, la.
It just means you and me, Papa.
Oh, Frenchie, oh Frenchie...
Pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag
and smile, smile, smile.
While you've a lucifer to light your fag,
smile, boys, that's the style.
What's the use of worrying,
it never was worth while,
so pack up your troubles in your old
kit bag and smile, smile, smile.
It's still raining.
Let me know when it stops!
- Cheerful little bin. - I'd like to
settle down here after the war.
- Nurse, here are the men for the stretchers.
- I didn't think we looked that bad.
Get those stretchers. There are eight
wounded, got to be moved immediately.
Get them into your ambulance!
Get them out of here.
Ambulance? I'm sorry, sir.
We came here to do a show.
- You in command here? How many hurt?
- Eight.
- Eight?! What happened to the rest?
- I sent 50 off before the barrage.
- You did? Where's the phone?
- Over there.
Eight more ambulances are on the way.
What? You better go back
and tell them to stop.
- I can't. They're starting a barrage.
- Get these wounded out.
- I can't...
- Do as I say! You, give him a hand.
You, call Belle Terre. Tell them to stop
those ambulances!
Yes, sir.
Calling Belle Terre.
Calling Belle Terre.
Belle Terre?! Emergency field hospital
calling Belle Terre.
Belle Terre! Calling Belle Terre!
- Did you get through?
- Sir?
- Did you get through?
- Everything's fine.
Good.
- Did you get through?
- Yeah.
- Oh, great.
- Nice going, Harry.
Hey, that's our jalopy!
- Where's Harry?
- I guess he's just a telephone hero.
I can't believe he'd run out.
I wish I was with him.
Turn back! You'll never get through!
Look out!
When Johnny comes marching
home again, hooray, hooray.
We'll give him a hardy
welcome then, hooray, hooray.
All the men will cheer,
and the boys will shout,
the ladies they will all turn out.
And we'll all feel gay
when Johny comes marching home.
Strike up the band,
let the bells ring out.
Strike up the band,
let people shout.
And every mothers son of you, that means you
and you and you and you..
Harry!
[band starts up "For Me And My Gal"]
[chorus] The bells are ringing
for me and my gal.
Everybody's been knowing
to a wedding they're going.
And for weeks they've been sewing
every Suzie and Sal.
They're congregatin'
for me and my gal,
The Parson's waiting
for me and my gal.
And sometime we're gonna
build a little home for two
or three or four
Or more.
[chorus] In Loveland
for me and my gal.
Right here.
- Hi, Jim.
- Hello, Bill. Cold enough?
You're darn right.
You got any passengers?
No. Just a few actors.
- Hiya, neighbor.
- Hiya.
- You a couple of actors?
- That's right.
You don't look like actors.
I got a piece of news for you.
This doesn't look like a town.
- Say, that's a nifty!
- You like that?
What do you think of this?
Know what Julius Caesar said...
...when Brutus stabbed him?
- No.
- Ouch!
- Ouch.
That's all right.
Where did you get that?
That's one of my father's jokes.
What are you, one of your mother's?
Say, he looks like an actor.
You called it, friend.
Harry Palmer, single O.
- How you doing?
- Hi. I'm Jimmy Metcalfe...
How you doing? Glad to see you.
Well, hiya, chicks.
Meet Harry Palmer, headliner.
- Do we have to answer that?
- Bus for the hotel! The hotel bus!
- Is that it?
- Yes, sir.
Go ahead, kids. Get in the bus.
Sid and I will bring the bags.
Hello, Springtime.
Aren't you a little out of season?
Who's the guy with the squirrel
around his neck?
- Single act, name of Palmer.
- His act can't be as funny as that coat.
Hey, how do you like this billing?
"Harry Palmer, America's
foremost comedy juggler and dancer. "
That's the way it's gonna read
someday at the Palace too.
Say, how long you been
with this stale act?
Are you kidding?
Jimmy Metcalfe has a great act.
And it's gonna be better too.
Wait till you hear the terrific arrangement
he's buying.
- Arrangement? Where?
- Right here. The orchestra leader.
He writes sensational stuff.
Thanks, kid.
I'll give you a joke sometime.
Lou, you can't expect my girls to dress
way up on the third floor.
- They got changes.
- Sorry, Jimmy.
I hand out dressing rooms
according to billing.
I know, but Palmer won't mind.
He looks like a swell guy.
- Lf it's okay by Palmer, it's okay by me.
- Thanks!
Hey, kids! Kids, it's okay!
We're moving!
- Hiya, maestro. I'm Harry Palmer.
- How do you do?
I hear you got a terrific arrangement.
- How did you hear?
- Jimmy Metcalfe told me.
- He did?
- Sure.
Look, I'm breaking in a new act.
If the arrangement's good,
I'll give you 50 bucks.
- I promised it to Jimmy.
- He won't be needing it.
- That act is gonna fold any day.
- It is?
- Sure.
- Gee whiz.
- What do you say?
- I promised it to Jimmy.
- Fifty bucks.
- I sure can use that 50.
When Jimmy gets the act fixed up...
...we're not gonna have to play
these dumps anymore.
What's the idea of putting her
in my dressing room?
I'm sorry. The young ladies
in Mr. Metcalfe's act got changes.
I know when to be nice to young ladies.
I'm topping this bill...
...and I rate the number one room!
- Okay, Mr. Palmer. Okay.
Sorry, kids. Mr. Palmer insists
on having this room.
You'll have to dress upstairs.
Let's not keep the gentleman waiting.
- After all, he's number one.
- Yeah.
There's nothing lower than number one.
- I bet he bows every time he hears thunder.
- Yeah.
- See what I mean?
- I see what you mean. Go on, Lily.
- Say, you know, I was...
- Pardon me.
This doll shoppe
is my joy and pride.
That is no folderal.
The people come
from far and wide
to buy my pretty doll.
I have got girl doll, boy doll,
wonderful mechanical toy doll,
dancing doll, prancing doll...
[doorbell rings]
Bonjour monsieur,
dite moi que volez vous.
La Belle, Mameselle,
I want one thing of you.
You see I...
I want a beautiful doll.
A great big beautiful doll.
I want a doll
that I can find romance with.
A doll that I can
sing and dance with.
And if you have such a doll
such and won.. won.. wonderful doll.
You may wrap it up,
and I will pay in cash.
But wrap it carefully
so that it won't smash.
Oh me, show me,
a great big beautiful doll.
The first doll I will show to you
will knock you for the loopie.
She is the latest
style, tis true...
My extra special kewpee.
Buzz... ping.
Those yahka-hickey, hoola dolls
are really much too faddy.
Monsieur, I have but
one more left,
that's the doll that
cries out "Daddy. "
Daddy!
Buzz...
Da... ddy,
don't leave me Daddy.
Won't you tell me
why you're leaving.
When you're near me, Dearie,
life can be as cheerie,
oh, oh, what a feel..
... ing.
Think what you're missing,
lot's of huggin'
and some kissing.
I don't care how
mean you are to me.
Daddy, dontcha you leave
me now, Sweet Poppa.
Daddy, dontcha you
leave me now.
Oh you beautiful doll
you great big beautiful doll.
Let me put my
arms about you.
I don't want to
live without you.
Oh you beautiful doll
you great big beautiful doll.
If you ever leave me
how my heart would ache.
I want to hug you
but I fear you'd break.
Oh, oh, oh,
oh, you beautiful doll.
Oh, oh, oh,
oh, you beautiful doll.
[Applause]
[music begins: Sailor's Hornpipe]
[clunk]
By the sea, by the sea,
by the beautiful sea!
You and I, you and I,
oh, how happy we'll be!
When each wave
comes a'rolling in
We will duck or swim,
And we'll float and
fool around the water.
Over and under,
and then up for air.
Pa is rich, Ma is rich,
so now what do we care.
I like to be beside your side,
beside the sea,
Beside the seaside,
by the beautiful sea.
I like to be beside your side,
beside the sea,
Beside the seaside,
by the beautiful sea.
[aplause]
- We weren't a three-alarm fire.
- Don't worry.
- We'll be a hit in bigger places.
- Hope so.
- Danny!
- Jo.
I'm glad to see you.
How'd you get out of school?
I told the dean you were playing.
He let me cut classes.
Well, that's wonderful! I'm sorry.
Jimmy, this is my brother, Danny.
- How do you do?
- Oh, glad to see you.
And I'm sure glad you're her brother.
Well, I'll see you later.
- Oh, don't go.
- Oh, no. You two go on.
Have a good talk. I'll see you in a while.
It's awfully nice to know you, Danny.
- He's a nice guy.
- He's the nicest fella you'll meet.
Come on. Sit down.
Now, tell me something.
- Same old thing.
- You beginning to feel like a doctor?
Well, I can spell "stethoscope. "
Well, stand up. Well, stand up.
Come on.
Oh, boy! You're gonna be
a tall doctor.
Tell me, when do you
have to go back to school?
Jo...
I'm not going back.
- What?
- I'm not going back.
Why? What's the matter?
Did something happen at school?
- Oh, no, no. Nothing like that.
- Well, then what is it?
Well, it just doesn't make sense.
I sit in a nice, warm dormitory,
and you wear yourself out...
...in a lot of Clifton Junctions.
- What kind of talk is that?
- I just saw your act.
- What's the matter with our act?
Oh, nothing. Nothing's the matter with it.
You're great.
It just seems to me
the act isn't getting anywhere.
- If you didn't have me around your neck...
- Listen to me.
You ought to be ashamed,
talking to me like that.
Didn't we make a deal once?
Well, didn't we?
You go through medical school
and pay me back with interest.
This is a fine time to quit.
Your last year. You're doing great.
- I'm not gonna let you quit.
- But, Jo...
What do you want to be?
A no-good tramp or something?
Danny.
You're not working any hardship on me.
Don't you see, honey?
I love it. I'd be doing it anyway.
And you're gonna stay in medical school.
I gotta make sure somebody in this family
is a success.
All aboard!
- So long.
- Don't forget to send that picture.
- Yeah.
- All aboard!
- I better be going.
- Bye.
Goodbye.
We're gonna be all right, you and I.
Goodbye. Goodbye, honey.
- See you at the Palace, kid.
- All right, doctor. It's a date.
- Goodbye.
- Bye.
Hiya, Springtime. Going my way?
Say, you know it's not safe
for a pretty girl to be walking around...
...by herself.
Oh, why don't you come off it?
You know you're gonna wind up
calling me pet names.
Well, of all the...
Tempo, Springtime!
Tempo, tempo!
I didn't like you at 7:00 this morning
and I don't like you now.
If you keep playing your cards right,
I'm gonna hate you.
So why don't you just evaporate,
fade away, dissolve?!
I want to talk to you about business.
- Write me a letter.
- It's too important.
Fancy face, I caught you on-stage
this afternoon.
You sing like a bird, dance like a deer,
look like a wedding ring...
...but that act you're with...
- That's two pins and a lollipop.
- What do you mean?
It's murder. That's what I mean.
Why don't you get bright?
You're too fast for that buggy.
And why don't you mind
your own business?
That's just the point.
It is my business.
Next season, I'm doing a double act,
throwing away the baggy pants.
Don't look now, Springtime.
You're gonna be my partner.
- Oh, I am, huh?
- You said it.
Standing next to me, you'll look
like a million bucks in nickels and dimes.
I can see those three-sheets:
Palmer and Hayden!
- We'll tear down theaters...
- I wouldn't be your partner...
...if they booked us into the Palace
for 51 weeks a year.
- I don't get it. Why?
- Oh, so many reasons.
But you wouldn't understand
any of them.
Gee, I feel sorry for you.
Hey, wait a minute.
Look, Miss Hayden.
I'm sorry.
Your act is all right. Oh, it needs
a little punching up here and there, but...
- Why don't you take this?
- What's that?
It's the arrangement I bought. The one
you and Metcalfe were supposed to get.
- But you were...
- No. Go ahead.
All that big talk about me
breaking down theaters...
...that's strictly small-town talk
on a cold night.
- Oh, I'm sorry. I spoke so...
- No. Forget it. You had me pegged.
I'm never gonna win any blue ribbons
for being a nice guy.
- Well, I...
- Say, would you...?
- Oh, skip it.
- What?
I was gonna ask you to have a cup
of coffee, but after the way I...
Well, I'd love to have a cup of coffee.
- You would?
- Sure.
- Two coffees, please.
- Two coffees. Yes.
How long you been in show business?
I wasn't really in it until Jimmy
gave me a chance. You?
- All my life. Do you like it?
- I love it.
I'd rather sing and dance than, well...
...eat.
- I can tell that by the way you work.
- You're good.
- No. I'm not good yet.
But I will be someday.
You know, I've got kind of a...
- You'd probably laugh at me if I told you.
- No, I wouldn't. What?
Well, I've got kind of a goal
in my mind.
It's the same goal
every vaudeville actor has...
...only I'm really going to get there.
I used to think I'd play the Palace
someday too.
- Well, maybe you will.
- Not me.
You had my number, all right.
Just a cheap tramp comic.
- Oh, I wouldn't say that.
- Why not? It's the truth.
Take that stuff, for instance.
I'm not so sure I can do it.
- Then why'd you buy it?
- I liked it.
It sure is a knockout.
- Want to hear it?
- Sure. Love to.
Okay.
If you've heard my kind
of voice before,... stop me.
All right.
The Bells are ring... ringing
for me and my gal.
The birds are...
[laughing] Wait a minute.
You better let me do it.
Okay.
Now...
Ding-dong, ding-dong,
do you hear the bells go ding-dong?
Do you know, do you know
why they're ringin'?
Do you know
why the birds are singin'?
Well you're gonna get a big surprise,
'cause I'm gonna put you wise.
The bells are ringin'
for me and my gal,
The birds are singin'
for me and my gal.
Everybody's been knowing
To a wedding they're going
And for weeks
they've been sewing,
Every Susie and Sal.
They're congregatin'...
Here's the church,
...for me and my gal,
And here's the steeple.
The Parson's waitin'...
Open the door...
...for me and my gal,
and there's the people.
And sometime
We're gonna to build
a little home for two,
or three or four or more,
In Loveland
for me and my gal.
The bells are ringing
for me and my gal.
The birds are singing
for me and my gal.
Everybody's been knowing,
to a wedding they're going.
And for weeks they've been sewing,
they've been sewing
something old and something new so,
something that is blue so
they can make a trousseau for my gal.
They're congregatin'
for me and my gal. Look, here, why!
that's the Parson
waitin' for me and my gal.
And sometime we're
gonna build a little home
for two
or three
or four
or five
or maybe more
Loveland for me and my gal...
Remember this one?
And this.
You know what I can't
eat for breakfast?
Why, no,
I haven't the slightest idea.
Tell me, what can't
you eat for breakfast?
Luncheon and dinner.
[sigh] Ha! Oh!
Here comes that Loveland again.
In Loveland for me and my gal.
[laughter, applause]
Oh, yes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Do we click or don't we?
- That was wonderful! You were perfect!
- What a great finale for a double act!
- We'd have to get a different opening.
- A slower one.
- We come on together.
You go off for a quick change.
I do my soft-shoe routine, and then we...
What's the matter?
I guess I forgot.
- Twenty-six, please.
- Oh, yes.
Thank you.
- Well, it was fun while it lasted.
- Yeah. Here.
No. You keep it. You can do it.
You proved it.
Nope. It takes two.
- Well, please. L...
- It's yours.
Do it with Metcalfe or tear it up.
Anyway, it's yours, nobody else's.
Well, thank you.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Wait a minute.
I played a dirty trick on you.
You better know.
Then you won't feel so bad.
When I offered to give you that song...
...I really didn't mean it.
I was playing you for a sap.
I wanted to fix it so you'd give me
a chance to try out with you.
And all that sob stuff
about me being ashamed of myself...
...that was just a bid for sympathy.
I wasn't ashamed.
I thought I was being pretty cute.
I'm ashamed now though.
And this time, when I say I'm a heel...
...well, I'm not kidding.
Well, I'm glad you told me.
Good night.
Good night.
Hi.
- Well, make yourself at home.
- Thanks. I already have.
Danny get off all right?
He sure took his time about it.
I began to think...
...they were holding you ransom.
Well, I stopped in to get some coffee.
When you didn't come back,
I walked by the station.
I thought maybe I might run into you.
I saw you through a window.
I heard you too.
Gosh, you two were swell together.
Terrific!
Weren't we, Jimmy?
But those after-the-show acts,
they never hold up.
Jo. Did Harry Palmer ask you
to team up with him?
- How'd you know?
- He'd be crazy if he didn't.
I saw you together.
You're a natural for each other.
Look, Jimmy.
I'm kind of sleepy.
What...?
What did you tell him, Jo?
I told him I already had a job.
Yeah?
Well, you haven't.
- What do you mean?
- I'm breaking up the act, Jo.
Oh, no, you're not.
I'm not gonna have you making
noble sacrifices on my account.
Who said anything about your account? And
who said anything about noble sacrifices?
I'm a comic.
I should have known that before.
I don't know what I was messing up my act
with girls and music and stuff like that.
Besides...
...I've got a new idea
that I'd like to try out with Sid.
Just the two of us.
Well, what made you decide all this
tonight?
I should have thought of it long ago,
but you know me, putting things off...
You know how it's been.
The act's not doing well.
I had a wire from Eddie,
said he can't get us bookings.
Lily's talking about leaving, and...
Well, it's the only thing to do, that's all.
If I thought you were trying
to pave the way for me...
Now, wait a minute. What are you
talking about? This is business.
No fooling. I wouldn't joke
about a thing like that.
It's good business too.
For everybody.
Oh, Jimmy. You're sweet.
- You're just as sweet as they come.
- Do you want to know something?
That goes for you too, double.
I'm gonna kind of miss you, kiddo.
Working with you hasn't been
like working at all.
- It's been more like...
- Palmer and Hayden.
Gee, think of that.
Palmer and Hayden.
It's the way we're gonna bill ourselves.
- Isn't that wonderful?
- Sounds swell.
Oh, I gotta tell him now, right away.
When you wore a tulip,
a big yellow tulip,
and I wore a big red rose.
When you caressed me,
'twas then Heaven blessed me,
what a blessing no one knows.
You made life cheery
when you called me Dearie,
'twas down where the bluegrass grows,
your lips were sweeter than julep,
when you wore a tulip,
and I wore a big red rose.
- Don't you think
you better go to bed?
Yeah. I guess so.
How I hate those man-traps.
Oh, well,
you take the lower tonight.
I wouldn't know how to act in one.
Hey, George.
- Whenever you're ready.
- Yes, sir.
Hey, listen to this.
"Eddie Melton has booked Jimmy Metcalfe,
comic...
...with Sid Simms
on the Orpheum circuit.
Metcalfe opens the 19th in Minneapolis. "
Isn't that wonderful? Look.
See? Here.
- I'd like a crack at some Orpheum time.
- Oh, now, Harry.
Well, I'm sick of playing
these two-bit towns.
- Chicago isn't a two-bit town.
- The part we're playing is.
Why must everything happen here
and now? You think that we have...
Yes, sir. I'll make it right up for you.
- I'll take that.
- I'll go back and have a cigarette.
- Let me know when he's finished, will you?
- Yeah.
- This a private car, sir.
- Excuse me. I was looking for the club...
Oh, I'm sorry. I was just
on my way back for a cigarette.
- I must have got off at the wrong floor.
- Why don't you have your cigarette here?
- Well, thanks a lot, but I...
- Please.
- I'd like one myself.
- Well, thanks. That's mighty nice of you.
- That's all, Celeste.
- Yes, ma'am.
Oh, excuse me.
Drink?
- Sure.
- Chartreuse, creme de menthe, vieille cure?
Surprise me.
- There you are.
- Thanks.
Say, this sure beats a club car, all right.
And better-looking people too.
Say! You're not...?
Well, I'll be darned. Imagine me,
sitting here with Eve Minard!
Say, you're not really...?
How do you like that? Guess you
never heard of me. Harry Palmer.
- Harry Palmer?
- Of Palmer and Hayden.
Oh, yes, certainly.
A fellow artist.
Nothing less. Get a load of this.
- Very nice.
- You get the rough idea.
- I must come and see you.
- I open in Chicago tomorrow.
- A full week too.
- Really? I open there tomorrow.
- At the Majestic?
- Well, no.
They booked me into
a smaller house this time.
- It's a good one though, for its size.
- Oh, that's fine.
Chicago seems to be much
more inviting now.
Well, the pleasure's all mine. If you want
to see the town, I'm your man.
Chicago, Boston, Detroit,
they're all the same. Except New York.
- That is a city.
- I suppose you've played the Palace.
Palace? Which one?
Which one?
Oh, there's only one real Palace.
- New York.
- Oh, yes. Yes, I've played there.
And I have a return engagement
before I sail.
Do you like to play there?
Yes. I like to play there very much.
- More?
- Sure. Why not?
Come to think about it,
I never caught your act.
- No?
- I know that you sing and all that...
...but what kind of stuff?
- Many kinds.
- Rags or ballads?
- As you like. I have it!
You danced for me,
I will sing for you, if I may.
- That'd be great.
- What will you like to hear?
Don't make it too highbrow.
You gotta gauge your audience.
- Give them something they'll understand.
- I think you'll understand this.
Most people do.
- Say, that's wonderful!
- You like that?
Do I? It's terrific!
Let's have an encore.
- Lf you wish.
- Certainly, I wish.
- Oh, hello, Jo. How do you feel?
- How do you feel?
Here's the other half of my act,
Miss Hayden.
- Won't you come in?
- Jo, this is...
Yes. Miss Minard.
I play your records over and over again.
- I love them.
- Thank you.
Well, I was just about
to come on back and turn in.
- Thanks for the song. It was swell.
- I hope you won't forget.
- I'll be at the Majestic.
- Forget?
- Well, good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Quite a dame, isn't she?
- Yes, she is.
Four grand a week. Oh, boy.
- Well, good night, kid.
- Good night, Harry.
- Come in.
- Ladies and gentlemen...
...I now give you Jimmy Metcalfe!
- Jimmy, darling!
How are you, Jo? Let me look at you.
My golly, you look swell!
- You're supposed to be in Minneapolis.
- We closed last night. A mild sensation.
- How is your act?
- Oh, fine.
Come on. Sit here, Jimmy.
Gee, it's good to see you.
Well, it's good to see you...
Say, who's this, General Pershing?
No. That's Danny.
He's enlisted.
No! What about the medical career?
- He's going back after the war.
- Doesn't he look swell?
- Yeah.
- Where's Harry?
Harry?
He's out with a friend.
You'll never guess who either.
- Eve Minard.
- Eve Minard!
Say, he's traveling
in pretty fast company, isn't he?
Yeah. Well...
...you know Harry.
She's a big success...
...and she's pretty...
...and, well...
Jo, you're in love
with that guy, aren't you?
Harry? Oh, no.
- I'm not in love.
- Hey, hey, shorty.
Remember me? Jimmy Metcalfe, the fella
that played Clifton Junction with you?
Oh, Jimmy.
It's way down deep inside of me.
He's wrong, and I love him.
He's right, and I love him.
It's no good.
Gee, what do you do
when you love somebody so much...
...and they don't
even know you're around?
I don't know, Jo.
I guess you just
keep right on loving them.
Watch your step.
I forgot to ask you.
When do you open in St. Paul?
- St. Paul?
- Say, Jo.
- Well, hello, stranger.
- Hi, Harry.
- I hear you're doing all right.
- Not so bad.
- Like to see a fella get ahead.
- You've got a few minutes.
You better go on first
and give me a chance to change.
All right. But hurry, please.
Jo. How about having supper with me
after the show tonight?
Fine. We have to catch a train at midnight.
We open tomorrow in Milwaukee.
- Do you suppose he'd like to come?
- I'll ask him.
- I'll see you later.
- All right, Jimmy.
Make it good, shorty.
I'll be out front watching you.
Harry? Jimmy wants to know if we
can have supper later. Can you make it?
I'd like to,
but I got a date with Eve.
Oh, well, you better hurry
or you'll miss your cue.
After you've gone and left me cryin',
after you've gone there's no denyin',
you'll feel blue, you'll feel sad.
You'll miss the dearest
pal you've ever had.
There'll come a time,
now don't forget it.
There'll come a time
when you'll regret it,
someday, when you grow lonely
Your heart will break like mine
and you'll want me only
after you've gone,
after you've gone away.
After you've gone
and left me cryin',
after you've gone
there's no denyin',
you're gonna feel blue,
and you're gonna feel sad,
you're gonna feel bad.
And you'll miss, and you'll miss,
and you'll miss the
bestest pal you ever had.
There'll come a time,
now don't forget it,
there'll come a time
when you'll regret it.
Baby, think what you're doin'.
I'm gonna haunt you so,
I'm gonna taunt you so.
It's gonna drive you to ruin
after you've gone,
after you've gone away.
- That will be all, Celeste.
- Yes, ma'am.
Miss Minard.
- Oh, hello.
- Hello.
- Could I see you a moment, please?
- I'm sorry, but I...
I expect a guest.
Yes, I know, but this will
only take a moment. Please.
Well, what is it, my dear?
Well, I wanted to talk to you...
Yes?
I thought...
I'm sorry.
- Lf you'll excuse me.
- Wait a moment.
I know you have something to say,
and I would like to hear it.
What is it?
Sit down, please.
I had my speech all memorized, and it
was gonna be pretty dramatic, I guess.
But I got stage fright.
It's about Harry.
You see, I love him.
And you're such a big person,
that I thought...
Well, it's hard to say, but...
...I love him.
And you're worried about me?
No. It's not that.
- But...
- You needn't worry, my dear.
I have no designs on him.
Thank you.
- I hope you don't think that I just...
- Don't apologize, Miss Hayden.
I loved someone like you love Harry, and I
didn't realize it until a long time afterwards.
Much too long.
But I should have done
what you're doing now.
Thank you.
- But I'm sorry you love him so much.
- Why?
- Because he isn't worth it.
- Oh, no, you're wrong. He's...
- He's...
- He's an opportunist...
...an egotistical actor who
will do anything to get what he wants.
He'll make you very unhappy
one day, my dear.
Oh, no, you're wrong.
Harry isn't bad.
I know because
I'm closer to him than anyone.
- I know.
- You know.
He'd leave you in a minute
if I made him an offer.
- Oh, I don't believe that.
- Would you like to have me try?
Oh, no, I don't believe that.
It might be better to get hurt
all at once and get it over with.
- I'm not afraid.
- Shall I ask him?
Well, I...
You can get to the elevator this way.
- I am afraid.
- Go on. Quickly!
- Hello, Eve. Here's Adam.
- Good evening, Harry.
- Say, what are we celebrating?
- Harry, I have a surprise for you.
- Well, come on. Let's have it.
- How would you like to join my act?
- What?
- How would you like to join my act?
- Come on, Eve. You're giving it to me.
- No, no. I'm very serious.
You are?
You're asking if I want to tour with you
and play the Palace?
Yes.
Holy...
Hallelujah! Wait till I tell Jo!
Jo.
You want her to go too, don't you?
Well, she's probably very talented,
but, after all, I'm a singer myself.
Oh, well,
that's a different proposition.
- Gee, I...
- Well, then let's forget about it.
Hey, wait a minute.
Who said anything about forgetting?
You don't know Jo.
She's the top of the deck. She wouldn't
stand in my way. She's a trouper.
When do we start?
- Tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
Well, what's holding us up?
Come on. Let's have a drink on it.
Here's to Harry Palmer,
heading for the Palace.
- Harry.
- Yeah?
When you see Miss Hayden,
tell her something for me.
Sure.
Tell her...
...I'm sorry.
Come in.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- You packed?
- No.
- Train leaves at 12:30, you know.
- Yeah, I know.
Look at this.
Looks like the rats have been at it.
You'd think that in a city like Chicago...
...they'd know how to launder a blouse.
- Yeah.
Say, Jo.
I want to ask you sort of a question.
Supposing somebody had been offered
a chance...
...to do something they'd been wanting
to do for a long time.
Yeah?
Well, supposing their accepting this offer
meant hurting somebody else maybe.
Well, what would you do?
Oh, I don't know.
I guess it would depend on how important
the thing was to me.
And if it was really important...
...I guess I'd go ahead and do it.
- You would?
- Sure.
- You only live once, you know.
- Yeah, I know...
...but it's kind of hard making
up your mind.
It's funny, you bringing up
a question like that.
I've got kind of the same problem.
- And it is hard too.
- What do you mean?
- Harry...
- Yeah?
...Jimmy wants me
to come back in his act.
Yeah?
Do you want to go back to him?
Well, I don't know. I...
He made me
a pretty good offer.
Well, after all, we...
We all want to get ahead,
you know?
- I mean, that's only human.
- Well, look, Jo.
I don't want to stand in your way.
If you want to go, go ahead and go.
- Honest?
- Sure. Go right ahead.
You're not just trying to be nice,
are you?
No, of course not!
Look, there's no use kidding ourselves.
We both know things haven't panned out
as well as we thought.
So if you can get a break,
go ahead, take it.
Oh, come on, Springtime.
No hearts and flowers. Not from you.
- Look, we're both gonna be on top.
- Sure.
Good luck, Jo...
...and lots of it.
Hey, what's the big idea?
Say, you're not crying
because you feel sorry for me, are you?
There's no need to do that because tonight
I was over at Eve's, and she asked...
Oh, Jo, please don't cry.
- Please. I'm not worth it, I tell you.
- I can't help it.
Honey, I wish you'd stop.
Oh, please, darling, please.
- Harry, Harry.
- Oh, honey.
Say, what hit us?
Oh, it hit me a long time ago.
Well, I'll be darned.
- Harry.
- Yeah.
What was it Eve asked you to do tonight?
Oh, forget it.
We gotta get going! We gotta make
that train, and you gotta help me pack!
The nerve of that Metcalfe,
trying to break up my act...
...and trying to steal my girl too.
I'll push his face in.
The time I've wasted. Why didn't you
tell me I was in love with you?
I didn't know,
and I can hardly believe it now.
I'll make you believe it, all right.
Hey, what's this?
Look! "Palmer and Hayden
booked into Palace New York...
...first week in September.
Congratulations, Eddie. "
- Harry!
- Is this our lucky day, or isn't it?
First we fall in love, and now this!
We're on the big time, baby.
We're on the big time.
We're gonna play the Palace!
- The Palace!
- It would have been wonderful anyway...
...but now it's even more wonderful!
Oh, Harry, look out!
Know what we'll do
after the first matinee?
- Have dinner?
- We're gonna get married.
Married. Harry!
Oh, darling!
- Well, here you are at last.
- Take a look at it. Amateur night is over.
Take the elevator
to your dressing room.
- Thank you very much.
- Jimmy!
- Hey, Jo!
- Hello!
- Well, I'll be two ifs and a but.
- Hello!
- Glad to see you!
- Are you opening here today too?
- What do you mean, "too"?
- What do you know?
After all this time,
we're all playing the Palace.
- I hope you have to follow us on!
- Listen to him.
We'd better get
our dressing room key.
Palmer and Hayden, please.
And after the matinee,
we'll just be using one dressing room.
Say, you don't mean to tell me
you're gonna marry this lug?
- Well, only for 150 years or so.
- What do you know?
Open at the Palace, and close
at the little church around the corner.
My gosh, Harry, that's swell.
And I hope you're a hit in both places.
Thanks, Jimmy.
- Isn't anybody gonna give a party?
- Sure, somebody's gonna give a...
I'm gonna give a party after the show.
- Wonderful! Danny will be in from camp too.
- There's no Palmer and Hayden here.
- What?
- I don't see the name.
It's gotta be, we open this afternoon.
Well, it is not on my list...
Oh, Mr. Waring?
- He won't give us our keys.
- We're Palmer and Hayden.
Palmer and Hayden?
You're not booked in here.
- We're not booked?
- There must be some mistake.
- Well, so here we are.
- Eddie.
Hello, Harry. Hello, Jo.
Say, you must have got in early.
What do you think of our big boy?
You wired us we were to play here,
and they never heard of us.
- I wired you what?
- Go on, show it to him.
Here.
This says "Palmer and Hayden booked
into the Palace New York. "
- I know it does.
- Would I say the Palace New York?
Would anybody except a stenographer
who wasn't paying attention?
- What do you mean?
- Well, there's only one Palace.
Nobody has to tell you where that is.
You meant...
- You meant some other Palace?
- Certainly. I said it. The girl got it wrong.
It's the Palace over in Newark.
You open there Wednesday for a split week.
A split week.
In Newark.
It's all right.
Why did you say "congratulations,"
"great opportunity," and build it up?
Because it is a great opportunity.
Newark's so close.
These circuits send scouts.
One might catch your act and like it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a great chance.
Don't give me that.
Gee, I'm sorry, kiddo.
Gee.
Gee, Jo.
Maybe you should have stayed with him.
You could be going up in that elevator too.
I'd rather stay
on the ground floor.
Well, they still got us booked
at the little church around the corner.
Still want to?
We gotta open somewhere.
Harry...
I'll marry you now.
I'll marry you anytime you say, but...
...we always agreed that we'd get married
after our first matinee at the Palace.
Let's keep it that way, huh?
Tell me why night's are lonesome.
Tell me why days are blue.
Tell me why all the sunshine
comes just at one time
when I'm with you.
Why do I hate to go, dear.
and hate to say goodbye.
now somehow it's always so, dear,
and if you know dear,
- please tell me why.
- And then this girl said to me,
She said, "Where'd you
ride horses this summer?"
I said, "The same place
I did my ice skating last winter. "
Well, fellas, here's to...
Well, here's to...
Here's to.
Say, I wonder where Danny is.
I don't know. He was supposed
to be here a long time ago.
Here he is now!
Hiya, Danny.
You know everybody, don't you?
- What kept you so long?
- Why, we got our sailing orders.
- When do you have to go?
- Right away.
- Right away?
- Yeah, I just got time to say goodbye.
Well, I guess I'm holding up the Army.
So long, Danny.
- Good luck to you, kid.
- Thanks.
- Bye, corporal.
- Bye, Sid. Goodbye.
- Take care of yourself, soldier.
- Yeah.
I sure wish I could postpone
the war long enough...
...to hear you sing again.
Well...
- So long, everybody.
- So long, Danny.
Smile the while you kiss me sad adieu.
When the clouds roll by
I'll come to you.
Then the skies will seem more blue
down in lovers lane, my dearie.
Wedding bells will ring so merrily.
Every tear will be a memory.
- So wait and pray each night for me. - See
you at the Palace, kid. - It's a date... doctor.
Till we meet
Again
We don't want the bacon.
We don't want the bacon.
What we want is a piece of the Rhine.
We'll crown "Bill the Kaiser"
with a bottle of Budweiser.
We'll have a wonderful time.
Old Wilhelm Der Gross
will shout Vas is Los?"
When we hit that Hindenburg line.
Fine!
The Army and Navy forever.
Three cheers for the red, white and blue.
- Boy, is he hokey. - But they
like it. - We don't want the bacon.
We don't want the bacon.
What we want is a piece of the Rhine.
They're yours.
What's left of them.
- Come on, let's show them.
- You bet we'll show them.
From coast to coast,
from Canada to Mexico,
they're doing a new dance
the tried and true.
Yes, it will sweep the land,
and you'll think it's so grand.
You'll have to learn how to do it,
so please don't poo poo it.
'Cause we got this little dance,
it's gonna rise to fame.
It's sure to put most
any other dance to shame.
The Turkey Trot, the
Bunny Hug, the Tickly Toe,
will be forgotten when
we start to go.
Mr. Leader, won't you start the syncopation,
and we'll begin our little demonstration.
Now, first, you put your
two knees close up tight,
then you sway 'em to the left,
and you sway 'em to the right.
Step around the floor kinda nice and light
then you twist around
and twist around with all of your might.
Stretch your lovin' arms
straight out in space,
then you do the Eagle Rock
with style and grace.
Swing your foot way
'round and bring it back,
now that's what I call Ballin' the Jack
Ballin' the Jack
[cheering and applause]
- Guys, I'm tired...
- Hey, you were great!
Yeah, in Newark. Where are the scouts
you said were coming?
- Well, here's one.
- Hey, were you out front?
You wanted the Palace.
Now you've got it.
The Palace, New York.
Keep it straight this time.
- Hey, you mean it?
- Your audience out there meant it.
Oh, boy!
If they cheer in Newark,
you can phone it in.
- Second week in October?
- Over a month away!
- I won't be able to sleep!
- All right?
- You bet it is!
- Bert, about the kids' salary...
I never discuss details
in front of the artists.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye. And thanks.
- It's here, honey. This time it's the McCoy.
- Yes, darling!
Say...
Wasn't there some kind of talk
about a wedding?
Stupid, why do you think I've been
anxious to make the Palace?
- Get dressed. We gotta celebrate.
- All right.
You can celebrate in Newark,
can't you?
I could lead a parade
in a telephone booth.
A month is a chance
to polish the act.
- Right.
- We can dig up a new song.
Yeah. What kind of a song, Harry?
Harry, what kind of a song?
Honey, what kind of...?
What's the matter?
You've been drafted.
Not yet, I'm not.
- Well, Harry, it says...
- I don't care what it says there!
Think anything's gonna stand in the way
of playing the Palace?
Oh, no. Not even a war!
I know how you feel.
After all the plans we'd had.
- What can you do?
- Plenty.
I can do plenty!
I'll beat this.
There must be somebody else
you can try.
Look, do you want
us both in jail?
I got two postponements.
Nothing I can do about the one tomorrow.
You have to take
your physical examination.
- But we open Monday.
- Now, look, I've done all I can do.
I got you the Palace.
I ain't booking the war!
Goodbye!
- Well?
- Nothing.
He says he can't do
anything about it.
I guess I'll write a letter to Danny.
Oh, yeah. Go ahead.
I'll see you later.
All right.
Harry, could I use your pen?
- What's the matter?
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
- There is something.
Well, what if there is?
Nagging me won't help!
Kid, I wanna be alone.
Why don't you go back to your room?
I gotta think by myself.
- All right.
- Jo. Look, baby, I didn't mean it.
I've got the jitters, that's all.
I'm sorry.
It's all right. I understand.
- Just take a chair, please.
- Yes, ma'am.
Temporary physical disability.
He's to return in six weeks
for final classification.
Very well, doctor.
Next.
Come on, Jo! Say something.
Tell me, how do I look?
Very brave, Mr. Metcalfe.
Very brave.
- Finish this for me.
- Who's ahead?
If I don't start cheating,
I'll never get even.
- Telegram, Ms. Hayden.
- Thank you.
You don't have to cheat if you see
the moves. You missed one right here.
Hey, Jo, what is it?
What's wrong?
It's...
- It's Danny.
- Danny?
Oh, Jo.
My brother.
Relax, baby, the Palace is okay!
We're gonna kill them.
What's the matter, Jimmy?
Danny.
- Oh, not Danny.
- He's gone.
There, there, now.
Oh, darling, if I could
only make it easier for you.
You don't rate a rotten break like this.
He could have been
such a great doctor.
Great doctor.
But Danny wouldn't
want you to cry.
If he could speak to you now,
he'd tell you he was happy.
Remember, Jo,
Danny did what he wanted to do.
Harry.
What happened to your hand?
It's nothing. An accident.
I caught it in my trunk.
Don't worry, baby.
It won't keep us from playing the Palace.
It was an accident.
Jo, don't you believe me?
All right then, I did do it!
But I only did it for us.
Well, you believe that, don't you?
Oh, I feel sorry for you.
Terribly, desperately sorry.
Jo, if you'd only listen to me.
You're always acting.
But you'll never make
the big time.
Because you're small-time
in your heart.
There's only one thing
you can do for me.
Leave me alone.
I never want to see you again,
as long as I live.
Never.
But it's just stiff, that's all.
No.
It's crippled permanently.
You mean they won't take me?
Couldn't I enlist?
No, the Army won't take you.
The tendons are severed.
- It won't bother you much...
- They've gotta take me.
- You can do something.
- I'm afraid not.
Then send me to some specialist.
Doc, I gotta get it fixed.
I gotta get in the Army!
I'm sorry. There's nothing
anybody can do to help you.
Next.
Sit down.
- Hello, Harry. How are you?
- Eddie, where's Jo?
You have to tell me. Where is she?
I have to see her.
I'm going out of my mind. People cross
the street like I'm a house on fire.
Do something. Call someone.
Say I didn't know what I was doing.
Tell them I don't care
about the Palace.
Tell them I hope
it burns to the ground.
Eddie, listen, you're my friend.
You can't shut me out.
All right, I made a mistake.
I did the wrong thing.
All right, I did the worst thing
in the world.
But I know I did it.
Eddie, somebody's gotta believe me.
I wasn't trying to duck the draft.
I wanted a postponement
so Jo and I could play the Palace...
...and get married after the first matinee,
like we planned.
That's all I wanted.
Eddie, look at my hand!
You don't think I wanted that, do you?
They can't shut me out.
I owe those guys that are fighting.
Eddie.
What am I gonna do?
I don't know, kid. It's your package.
You bought it and wrapped it up.
Guess you'll just have
to untie it yourself.
- Who will be the first to buy a bond?
- I will!
- So will we!
- That's it. Step to the table.
Who wants a share of the future
of America?
Come on, folks.
Everybody can help over there.
The nicest part of being an American.
Folks, put your hands in your pockets
and be a hero.
Can I have somebody...?
Hey, Harry. How are you?
Hello, Sid. What are you doing?
Y.M.C.A.
Going to France in two weeks.
- I thought you were drafted.
- I was, but...
Got my physical exam. They said
they'd take me after women and children.
Say, Harry...
Why don't you join up
and come with us?
I'm not going over there to sing
while guys are getting their heads shot off.
- Funny, that's not the way I look at it.
- Well, I do.
You're a good performer. Those fellas
could use a song and dance, and you...
I just thought maybe you
want to go over there.
See you around
the stage door.
Come on, fellas. Everybody out.
Pile out. Pile out there.
Quiet, quiet, quiet.
We don't wanna spend our last day
on leave here.
- I wanna go to one of them...
- Not today.
- I got drinking to do.
- I'll take charge.
Fall in, everybody.
Attention! Right face!
Forward...
What?
C'est la guerre, old boy.
Oh, I see.
- Money.
- Oh, money. That's what you want.
- Johnny, got any of that special money left?
- Yes, sir. I'm loaded.
There you are, my friend.
Ah, that's fine.
There you go.
Wait a minute.
What about my change?
That goes for you too.
All right, everybody. Fall in.
Attention! Right face!
Forward march!
Mademoiselle from Armantiers,
parlez vous?
Detail, halt. Left face.
Fall out.
Now,Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinkin',
said his wifey dear.
Now that things are peaceful and calm
the boys will soon be back on the farm.
Mister Reuben started winkin'
and slowly rubbed his chin,
he pulled his chair up close to mother
and he asked her with a grin,
"H-h-h-how ya gonna keep 'em
down on the farm after they've seen Paree?"
How ya gonna keep 'em away from Broadway?
Jazzin' around and paintin' the town.
How ya gonna keep 'em away from harm?
That's the mystery.
They'll never want to see a rake a plow,
and who the heck can parley-vous a cow?
H- h-h-how ya gonna keep 'em
down on the farm after they've seen Paree?
How ya gonna keep 'em
down on the farm after they've seen Paree?
How ya gonna keep 'em away from Broadway?
Jazzin' around and paintin' the town.
How ya gonna keep 'em away from harm?
That's the mystery.
Imagine Reuben when he meets his pa,
he'll kiss his cheek and holler,"Oo-la-la!"
How ya gonna keep 'em
down on the farm after they've seen,
after they've seen,
after they've seen Paree?
[cheering and applaue]
Jimmy!
Come and let me put my arms
around the Palace Theatre!
How are you, baby?
- There are a lot of strangers in the world.
- My golly, let me look at you.
- You look sensational!
- Thank you.
How about we step out on the town
and show these Frenchmen...
...what you can do in Paris?
Okay, but I got a number to do.
Will you wait?
Sure, I'll wait.
You know something?
We're a cinch to win this war
now that you're here.
I'll only be a minute.
- You sure you don't mind waiting?
- You know me, Jo.
I'm a good waiter.
Hey!
Harry!
- Jimmy!
- How are you, kid?
Gee, I didn't expect to see you.
- How long you been over here?
- I just landed a few hours ago.
What do you know about that?
It's good to see you, Harry.
How's it going?
Not good.
I thought it'd be better over here, but...
...it's not.
It's not better.
Well, what's the trouble, kid?
I'm in the right Army,
but I got the wrong suit on.
You got the right suit,
and the right fella's wearing it.
- Lf you're gonna...
- I wanna tell you something.
Know what's the matter?
You walk around with...
...a picture-book villain in your pocket.
You look at it like a mirror.
- Look, Jimmy...
- Cigarette?
Here's something else
you can put in your book, Harry.
Here, there aren't any heroes
and there aren't any cowards.
Believe me. I've been to the place.
I've seen them.
- Jimmy...
- Light?
They're all just regular guys.
And they all love someone.
That's what makes them
do good things or bad things.
You did something because you thought
it was the right thing to do.
And you had two good reasons
for doing it:
You wanted to get someplace that meant
more to you than anything in the world...
...and because you loved someone
an awful lot.
And those are two
pretty good reasons, Harry.
Especially the last one.
Thanks, actor.
- Can I buy you a drink?
- Can you?
You can buy me the biggest drink...
Say, I just happened to think.
I got a date to meet a fella.
Tell you what.
Sit in that chair and wait for me.
Wait here.
I won't be gone 10 minutes.
Okay.
Here I come, Jimmy.
All signed, sealed and deliv...
Harry.
- What are you...?
- Jo.
Gosh.
I never expected...
Jo.
I certainly am surprised to see you.
For a minute, I thought...
Jo, don't talk. Just stand there.
Okay. I've got it.
How have you been, Harry?
How's everything in New York?
It's a funny thing. The other day, I was...
Jo.
You don't have to skip rope for me.
I know the boat has sailed
as far as we're concerned.
And I'm not gonna tell you
the bells are ringing for me and my gal.
I know I'm not a great guy
in a lot of people's books, but...
...I don't care
about a lot of people.
Jo...
...you're looking the other way.
Coming over in the boat,
I took an inventory.
And you know something?
Right up to this minute,
my only claim to fame:
You were once my girl.
Jo.
You have to tell me...
...not a million other people,
but you, have to tell me...
...that I'm not a coward...
...and that you don't hate me.
That's the medal I want to win
in this war.
You're not a coward, Harry.
And you know that...
That I'd never hate you.
Thanks, Jo.
Thanks an awful lot.
And I'll take good care
of that medal.
[band playing "Over There"]
It's a long way to Tipperary,
it's a long way to go.
It's a long way to Tipperary,
to the sweetest girl I know...
Goodbye Broadway, hello, France.
We're ten million strong.
We're gonna kick the Kaiser
in his pants,
and it isn't gonna take us,
isn't gonna take us,
isn't gonna take us long.
[band playing "Yankee Doodle"]
There are smiles that make us happy,
there are smiles that make us blue;
there are smiles that steal away the teardrops
as the sunbeams steal away the dew.
[band playing "Mademoiselle from Armentires"]
Oh, Frenchie, oh Frenchie, Frenchie
although your language is so new to me.
Oui, oui, oui.
When you say "Oui, oui," la, la.
It just means you and me, Papa.
Oh, Frenchie, oh Frenchie...
Pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag
and smile, smile, smile.
While you've a lucifer to light your fag,
smile, boys, that's the style.
What's the use of worrying,
it never was worth while,
so pack up your troubles in your old
kit bag and smile, smile, smile.
It's still raining.
Let me know when it stops!
- Cheerful little bin. - I'd like to
settle down here after the war.
- Nurse, here are the men for the stretchers.
- I didn't think we looked that bad.
Get those stretchers. There are eight
wounded, got to be moved immediately.
Get them into your ambulance!
Get them out of here.
Ambulance? I'm sorry, sir.
We came here to do a show.
- You in command here? How many hurt?
- Eight.
- Eight?! What happened to the rest?
- I sent 50 off before the barrage.
- You did? Where's the phone?
- Over there.
Eight more ambulances are on the way.
What? You better go back
and tell them to stop.
- I can't. They're starting a barrage.
- Get these wounded out.
- I can't...
- Do as I say! You, give him a hand.
You, call Belle Terre. Tell them to stop
those ambulances!
Yes, sir.
Calling Belle Terre.
Calling Belle Terre.
Belle Terre?! Emergency field hospital
calling Belle Terre.
Belle Terre! Calling Belle Terre!
- Did you get through?
- Sir?
- Did you get through?
- Everything's fine.
Good.
- Did you get through?
- Yeah.
- Oh, great.
- Nice going, Harry.
Hey, that's our jalopy!
- Where's Harry?
- I guess he's just a telephone hero.
I can't believe he'd run out.
I wish I was with him.
Turn back! You'll never get through!
Look out!
When Johnny comes marching
home again, hooray, hooray.
We'll give him a hardy
welcome then, hooray, hooray.
All the men will cheer,
and the boys will shout,
the ladies they will all turn out.
And we'll all feel gay
when Johny comes marching home.
Strike up the band,
let the bells ring out.
Strike up the band,
let people shout.
And every mothers son of you, that means you
and you and you and you..
Harry!
[band starts up "For Me And My Gal"]
[chorus] The bells are ringing
for me and my gal.
Everybody's been knowing
to a wedding they're going.
And for weeks they've been sewing
every Suzie and Sal.
They're congregatin'
for me and my gal,
The Parson's waiting
for me and my gal.
And sometime we're gonna
build a little home for two
or three or four
Or more.
[chorus] In Loveland
for me and my gal.