Good News (1947) Movie Script
"T" is for "Tait" College
T- A-I-T, Tait! Hooray!
"A " is for "A " college
Where students never want to graduate
"I" is for "Intercollegiate"
Intercollegiate fame
"T" is for the Tait "Team"
It's such a great team
Tait's prowess on the field
Is known to fame
For athletically, there's no team
- Like the Tait football team
- Boom diddy bah, diddy bah, Tait
Tait's the team we're rooting for
The team we're rooting for
Tait's the team that's won before
That's always won before
Victory will soon be ours
Hear the mighty roar
For the champion team is
Tait! Tait! Tait!
'Tis good news
You're gonna do me good
Come right here to me, good news
- Good news, news
- Good news
You're what I've waited for
That's what I'm slaving for
Good news is so
- Good to me
- To me, to me, to me, to me
Bad news is no
Good to me
Goody, good good good
Good news, you're bound to do me good
Come right here to me, good news
Have you heard the good news?
Gonna be good news
Gotta have good news
So we're saying bye-bye, bad news
Hello! Goody, good news!
T- A-I-T, T-A-I-T, T-A-I- Tait! Hooray!
- Hi, Babe.
- Hi, gang.
- We're gonna watch football practice.
- No, thank you.
Hey, there's the dean.
- Wow, get a load of that!
- Who is it?
She's the new pledgee, Pat McClellan.
A transfer from
the Black Briar Finishing School.
- And I do hope you'll like it here.
- I love it already, Dean Griswold.
You've been absolutely charmant.
- Goodbye, Miss McClellan.
- Au revoir!
- Hello, Babe.
- Hello, McClellan.
- Everybody, this is Pat McClellan.
- Hi, Pat.
Enchante. Enchante.
Hey, wait'll Tommy Marlowe
gets a load of that!
- How men'll fall for a pretty face.
- You said it.
- Last chance to go to the field.
- Aw, football!
- What are we waiting for?
- Come on, let's go.
Fellows, I hate to say it, but that was
a pretty nice practice. Thompson...
...watch your passing.
Zubrowski, nice broken field running.
Beef, I'll get to you later.
- What are you doing?
- I'm warming up.
- Can't hang up a cold uniform.
- Bobby, get your uniform off.
I never get to wear it. I like to
keep it on till the last minute.
I even rub a little dirt on it just
to convince myself I'm on the team.
- You'll get off the bench this year.
- I hope so.
All the girls want football heroes.
I guess that's about all.
You can go to the party tonight.
And you can stay out till 10:00.
Listen, you crybabies! You're not
gonna be so social this year.
We're not running a mahjong society.
I want you all out for early practice.
And don't forget,
this is just the beginning.
The first game's
just a week off. Okay.
Good going. You're in the pink.
- You'll be better than last year.
- Thanks, I owe it all to Poochie.
- I made him work.
- We'll win every game...
...including against Colton.
- Don't say it.
Think it, but don't say it out loud!
The evil spirits don't like it.
You're lucky you're
the best trainer here.
Tommy, you gotta stay away
from the women this year.
Remember, you're a football player,
not Rudolph Valentino.
Women won't interfere with how I play.
I can take them or leave them.
I wish another player
could say the same.
- Beef.
- Yes, sir?
- Where were you today?
- Right here on the field.
Your delicate body may have been there,
but that dumb head of yours...
...was off worrying about
that flapper, Babe Doolittle.
You're right, coach. But I'll be
all right, I'm studying psychology.
Psychology! It's black magic.
Leave it alone.
It teaches you to act natural. You
shouldn't have repressed hostilities.
If you got something inside,
you should let it come out.
So I want to announce right now...
...if anyone comes near
Babe Doolittle, I'll kill him!
- Wow! You tell 'em, Beef.
- That's love.
- Bobby, hurry up.
- Have you met the new bombshell yet?
The Phi Gamma Gamma,
Patricia McClellan.
She's burning up the campus.
Haven't you seen her?
- I let the gals come to see me.
- Tommy, how do you do it?
It's a cinch and it's a snap
They just fall in your lap
And, Bobby, you can make them
Do the same
Who, me? Never.
Don't be scared, don't be shy
Get that gleam in your eye
And then you'll have more girls
Than you can name
Wear collegiate, collegiate clothes
- Be a ladies' man
- I just look silly.
Get that swagger and get that pose
- Be a ladies' man
- I couldn't.
If you think you're much too skinny
With your six-inch waist
Don't just give up the fight in haste
Some girls have such peculiar taste
Be a ladies'
Be a ladies'
Learn to be a ladies' man
- And be collegiate
- Collegiate
- Collegiate
- Collegiate.
Walk collegiate, talk collegiate
- Be a ladies' man
- A rooty tooty
Get that swagger, get that pose
- Be a ladies' man
- A rooty toot
And when a ladies' man
Wears a certain tie
And that twinkle is in his eye
You can kiss your sweetie-pie goodbye
They love a ladies' man
- Oh, how I love the ladies
- Root toot-toot, rooty toot-toot-toot
Get that gleam, boy
Right in your eye
- I wanna be a ladies' man
- A rooty tooty
Root toot-tooty, toot-toot-toot-toot
Be a ladies' man
A rooty tooty
When they give you that frozen stare
Make believe that you just don't care
Then in no time they're in your hair
If you're a ladies' man
If you're a ladies' man
If you're a ladies' man
You gotta be up-to-date
You gotta know your stuff
If you want to rate
You gotta sing vo-do-de-o
and boop-boop-a-doop
You gotta ukelele lady
Lika she lika you
You gotta do the Black Bottom
Gotta do the Shag
And the Charleston
And the Varsity Drag
Oh, how I love the ladies
Wear collegiate, collegiate clothes
We're so collegiate
Rather be a ladies'
Rather be a ladies'
Rather be a ladies' man
Swagger!
And strike a pose
Gotta be, gotta be, gotta be
Rooty toot-toot
To be a ladies' man
If you're a football star
A big shot or an also-ran
A guy whose clothes don't fit him
Or a Dapper Dan
Any man who is half a man
Has to be a ladies'
Gotta be a ladies'
Gonna be a ladies'
Gotta be a ladies'
Hope to be a ladies'
Gotta be a ladies'
- Gotta be a ladies' man
- The cat's pajamas
- Gotta be a ladies' man
- I'll pay you Tuesday
- Gotta be a ladies' man
- I really mean it
Gotta be a ladies' man
And I don't mean maybe
Got to be a ladies' man
If I do more of this, I won't
have strength for the party.
Why do you need strength?
Beef's curfew is 10.
I'm through with football stars
whose curfews are 10.
- My new passion is Bobby Turner.
- That skeleton?
He's about as appealing as
a string bean. He's nothing.
Yeah, he's nothing.
He's on the scrub team.
He can stay out all night.
Oh, I'm mad about him.
- Does the lucky boy know about this?
- He will tonight.
Of all the nerve, she can't do this!
Where's Connie?
- Look at that thing. What is it?
- Pat McClellan's dress.
- Oh, gee.
- Wow!
She made me fix it.
I don't have to do that.
- I'm gonna tell Connie.
- Come on, she's in the kitchen.
- Connie!
- Here I am.
- What's the trouble?
- It's that Pat McClellan.
Connie, do you know what she asked me
to do? Sew some beads on her dress.
Who does she think she is, Marie
Antoinette? Give me a wrench, Cora.
Maybe you can say something to her.
I don't know what I'd like to say.
Give me a rag, Cora.
- Here, let me look at that thing.
- Cora, give me a...
Holy smoke!
Is this the dress?
- What do you think of it?
- Isn't it the cat's?
Just out of the Ziegfeld Follies.
Where does it need fixing?
- It doesn't anymore. I fixed it.
- You didn't.
I already did it before
I remembered to get mad.
I'd better have a talk with her.
- What about the sink?
- It's fixed.
Don't have harsh words with her.
She's new and doesn't know.
You're right, Mrs. Drexel. After all,
she is just out of finishing school.
You wonderful creature!
Why does everyone love you?
Why are you so divine...
...so clever, so popular?
I sure wish someone loved me
the way you love you.
Why, Connie Lane. I was only
fooling, n'est-ce pas?
It sounded like true love to me.
Here's that burlap bag.
How sweet of you to bring it up.
Merci, merci.
As long as you're living with us,
there are a few things...
Why, of course. Naturally.
That dress, for instance. For a little
sorority party, it's rather extreme.
- Extreme? Really?
- And obvious.
Obvious?
- It's Babe. Can we come in?
- Entrez.
Sure.
I hate to interrupt, but the sheiks
will be here any minute.
- You'll slay them in that dress, Pat.
- They're all pretty impressionable.
- Have you met any of them?
- Not yet.
But I hope to meet all
the worthwhile ones.
Well, let's see now. Which ones
are really, really worthwhile?
Eddie Dunkelman. He's a catch.
His father's the local butcher.
He's a little short and a little fat,
but he does a mean Charleston.
The boy for you is Tommy Marlowe.
We're all just crazy about him.
Tommy Marlowe? Who's he?
Only the captain of the football team.
And what a sheik.
You know, girls, I think college
contacts are terribly important.
It's trs ncessaire to find
someone of the right background...
...and sufficient wealth...
...of culture.
Oh, that's so true.
Is 25 million dollars
enough culture for you?
Peter Van Dyne, llI has it.
Richest man at Tait.
- Van Dyne, III?
- Oh, but he's such a drip.
For 25 million dollars, let him drip.
He's not an attractive boy?
Attractive? He's the twerpiest
wet smack of all time.
Quel fromage.
- What did you say?
- I said, "Quel fromage. "
- "What a pity" in French.
- Oh, you must mean dommage.
Fromage means cheese.
Quel fromage. "What cheese. "
Oh, of course, dommage.
How silly of me.
Come on, they're here.
- Is Bobby here?
- I'm not ready!
- You were saying about the dress?
- Oh, forget it Pat. I was wrong.
The dress suits you perfectly.
Nice party, Mrs. Drexel. But I want
the team out of here by 10:00.
Of course, Mr. Pooch.
That's understood.
Gee, I love to dance. I feel like
I'm not even touching the floor.
You're not.
It's heaven with you in my arms.
Let's go out on the porch.
Let's dance.
- Do you love somebody else?
- Oh, no, Beef.
You just don't understand me. I'm
like the psychology you talked about.
I'm a split personality.
Oh. Well, if anyone comes near you,
they'll be a split personality.
- Hey, what are you doing?
- Oh, nothing.
Beef, look at poor Connie.
You've simply gotta help her.
Connie?
Beef's dying to help.
Give him something to do.
- Fine. Would you help me pass these?
- Sure.
- Well, Bobby, here I am.
- What?
- It's time for that dance I promised.
- Go away!
- Beef will kill whoever comes near you.
- Well, wouldn't it be worth it?
Hey, what's going on?
- Bobby, you and me are soul mates.
- What?
I won't take no for an answer.
Tell me you love me.
Look at that. Goose pimples.
Think it's cold? It's you.
Well, look at that. Goose pimples.
You think it's you?
It's Beef. Let me go!
There's nothing like
a college education.
- Tommy, where've you been?
- Tommy!
Girls, girls, where is this gorgeous
creature I've been hearing about?
Oh, McClellan isn't down yet.
Now, don't worry. I'll be back.
- Hi, Tommy.
- Hi, Evelyn.
What is this, the waiting room?
We can all go home now.
Marlowe is here.
Thanks. This is quite a turnout.
If this show's no good,
I want my money back.
I have a little
announcement to make...
...you are about to witness Patricia
McClellan, the female form divine.
Jungle potentates have fought
for one smile from her lips.
For only 10 cents, you will see this
little lady descend these stairs...
...placing one dainty foot before
the other. All right, watch...
Some of these boys you know, but I'd
like to introduce you to a few more.
Patricia McClellan, Clyde Waters.
Richard Tripper...
...Eddie Dunkelman...
- And I'm Tommy Marlowe.
That was a charming speech,
Mr. Marlowe.
You've obviously spent most of
your life in a freak show.
I was only kidding.
You're really terrific.
I'll tell you more while we dance.
- Shall we go on, Mrs. Drexel?
- Oh, yes. This is Grover Smith.
- And this is Peter Van Dyne, III.
- Van Dyne.
Mr. Van Dyne, III,
I've heard so much about you.
I believe my mother might have
met your mother at Newport?
Well, that's very possible.
- Would you care to dance?
- Oh, I'd love to.
Kind of cold in here, isn't it?
- How does it feel to get the brush?
- How do you like her, Tommy?
She's not so hot. Just trying to
play hard to get. Hey, Danny!
You're the first touch of
refinement I've found here.
The first person I can really talk to.
That makes me very happy.
I'd like to make you
100 million times happier.
100 million! Oh, Peter!
You don't know what this means...
My lord, would you and the duchess
like a moldy canap?
Not very funny.
I'll try one first,
in case you suspect poison.
- Not a bad idea.
- You're more at home in a freak show.
- You were saying...
- Van Dyne!
- Van Dyne.
- What is it?
Phone call, long distance. New York.
- What? Where, inside?
- No, at the dormitory.
I'd better scoot.
Pat, I'll only be a few minutes.
It'll seem like eons, my dear.
Oh, poor Peter.
I hope it isn't bad news.
Ten o'clock! Football team out of
here, pronto! Everybody out.
Isn't that your cue? You've got
something to do with football, right?
Are you kidding?
Why, I'm the captain of the team.
I don't get this. What's the matter?
I'm a popular guy.
Really?
- This year I'll be all-American.
- All-American?
Does that mean you become a citizen?
Come on, Pat. Don't be an iceberg.
You gotta melt someday.
Mr. Marlowe, haven't I made it
clear to you that I don't like you?
I'll spin you into town tomorrow night.
Have dinner, go dancing, just us two.
I'll pick you up at 6. Okay?
- Quelle effronterie!
- Pat?
- My dear.
- Peter, what is it?
I phoned the dormitory.
There was no call for me at all.
No call?
Well, I think I'd better be going.
Don't forget about tomorrow night.
- I'm glad you could stay, Peter.
- So am I.
I knew when I came down those stairs,
this was going to be my lucky night.
It's like fate.
It was accidental
We just met by chance
Yet I'm very certain
You will be my big romance
Football players bore me
All they've got is health
But, you, my sweet
Are joy complete
Because you've got such wealth
Of culture
Lucky in love
Lucky in love
What else matters
If you're lucky in love?
Good breaks are few
Few skies are blue
But bad luck scattered
When I first looked at you
I don't care
What the future will bring
If we're there together
I won't need a thing
I'll say I'm lucky in love
If you'll take me, that'll make me
Oh, so lucky in love
Lucky in love
Lucky in love
Don't you know when you are
Lucky in love?
You're just my speed
Why must I plead?
Oh, come to baby
In her hour of need
I don't care if you're puny and weak
And you've only got
Baby fuzz on your cheek
I love you!
Lucky in love
If you trust me then we must be
- Oh, so lucky in love
- In love
Lucky in love
- You're lucky if you're lucky in love
- You're lucky
- Lucky in love
- You're lucky
Lucky in love
Lucky in love
Lucky in love
What else matters
If you're lucky in love?
Good days are few
Few skies are blue
But bad luck scatters
Every time I'm with you
I don't mind if at poker, I'm green
If I stand ace high
With a beautiful queen
I'll say I'm lucky in love
If you'll take me, that'll make me
Oh, so lucky
So darn lucky
Lucky in love
Lucky in love
Guess I never will be
Lucky in love
Some girls are gay
Know what to say
But when I talk
I scare the fellows away
If my dream man
Should ever arrive
I can bet he won't
Even know I'm alive
Lucky in love
Must be fun to be someone who's
Oh, so lucky in love
In love, lucky in love
You're lucky if you're lucky in love
You're lucky in love
You're lucky in love
So lucky, lucky, lucky
If you're lucky in love
- You're lucky
- Got your head in a whirl
- You're lucky
- If you got the right girl
You're oh, so lucky
Lucky in love
Lucky in love
Up to now
I've been so lucky in love
Never was spurned
Never got burned
The cat's pajamas
Where the girls were concerned
But now I'm acting
Just like a dope
It's the first time some baby said
"It's no soap. "
And meant it!
Lucky in love
If you take me, that'll make...
- So it was you!
Of all the uncouth,
contemptible tricks!
I just wanted a chance
to get together.
Get together? I never want
to see you again. You...
You're absolutely incorrigible!
- What's that?
- That's French.
Pal, that gal
Sure put you in your place
When she called you incorrigible
To your face
Oh, brother, you got a shove
And without that, we still doubt that
You'd be lucky in love
In love, lucky in love
You're lucky if you're lucky in love
You're lucky
So lucky
It's oh, so lovely
If you are
Lucky in love
- These are what you're looking for.
- That's fine, Miss Lane. Thanks.
Good night.
Why, Mr. Marlowe. What on earth
are you doing here?
Well, why? Can't anyone come in here?
I thought you'd made a mistake. It's
not the hangout for the football team.
What do you mean? I've often
been here doing research.
Not in the past three years.
Why do you say that?
I work here, Mr. Marlowe.
I'm the assistant librarian.
In that case, I'll never lie again.
But how come you look so familiar?
Where have I seen you before?
You've seen me 100 times
in the past three years.
You stood right next to me
at the punch bowl last night.
My name is Connie Lane.
Babe's roommate! For crying out loud,
then you're a student.
- Why do you want to work here?
- It helps pay my tuition.
It's called working your way
through college.
Oh, I'm sorry.
At your service.
Where's the French dictionary?
I want to look up a word.
I'm majoring in languages.
What's the word?
Ever heard of a French word,
"in-courage-gee-bull"?
- You mean incorrigible.
- What does it mean?
Same thing it means in English.
"Lmpossible, incorrigible,
past reforming. "
That's what I thought.
She spoke the word beautifully.
I heard it all the way in the kitchen.
I'll give her back that parlez-vous.
- Who's the best French teacher?
- Kennyon.
I'll sign up for a course.
Don't get carried away. Kennyon is
tough, and he hates football players.
I've never flunked a subject yet.
Come on, show me a few words.
- Don't be silly. It's closing time.
- Come on.
Well, all right.
- The book, le livre
- Le livre, the book
- The pen, la plume
- La plume, the pen
- La chaise
- La chaise
- Le crayon
- Le crayon
- Le cahier
- Le cahier
- Le papier
- Le papier
Noir, rouge, blanc
are black, red, white
- Rouge, blanc, noir
- You're fairly bright
- Now please go back
- I bet I get them right
Rouge, blanc, noir, le papier, le cahier
Le crayon, la chaise, la plume, le livre
Le livre est rouge
La chaise est noir
- Wonderful!
- This is work?
It's more like play
In no time flat
Je parle franais
- Had enough?
- I'm just starting
All right, you asked for it
The door, la porte
La porte, the door
Of wood, du bois
Du bois, of wood
To open, ouvrir
Ouvrir, to open
To shut, fermer
Fermer, to shut
The pronouns that you need
Are je and vous
Je means me
and vous means you
Now do them all
Just watch me plow right through
Je and vous, to shut, fermer, to open
Ouvrir, la porte, rouge, blanc et noir
Le papier, le cahier, le crayon
La chaise, la plume, le livre
J'ouvre la porte
Je ferme la porte
Marvelous!
My thirst to learn you can't quench
Come fill me up to here with French
- More?
- More
- You'll explode
- Who cares?
The hand, la main
La main, the hand
The mouth, la bouche
La bouche, the mouth
- Les yeux sont bleus
- They sure are blue
- Les cheveux
- The hair, les cheveux
The words for boy and girl
Garon et fille
Garon et fille
Are he and she
- Now from the top
- I'll get my French degree
Garon et fille, les cheveux, the hair
Les yeux sont bleus, la bouche, la main
Je et vous, fermer, ouvrir, la porte
Rouge, blanc, noir, papier, cahier
Le crayon, la chaise, la plume, le livre
Mesdames! Messieurs!
Les yeux sont bleus
- You're crazy!
- Won't you come join me in a dance?
I am the president of France!
- Gee, this is fun.
- Yes, I know.
I didn't know learning could be fun.
Look at these books
waiting to be read.
- Anybody can come in and read them.
- Yeah, no cover charge.
When I was a kid, I loved to read.
I wanted to find out about everything.
I thought I was the only
kid who felt that way.
You too?
I wanted to find out about
everybody in the world.
Don't bother with that now.
Come on.
There was a creek back home.
I used to take a canoe and...
...pretend that I was going to
the countries I'd read about.
- Bread and butter.
- Bread and butter.
I was Huck Finn on the Mississippi,
the Volga, the Nile, the Seine...
...all of them.
Sometimes at night, I'd sit there
in my canoe and look up at the stars.
I'd look up at them from our
rooftop in Chicago...
...and think of all the people all over
the world looking up at the same stars.
Thinking about them
in different languages.
Now the whole world just seems
to be little Tait College.
I never think about anything
but being a big football star.
That'll be over in
a few months, and then what?
If you don't forget about that boy
in the canoe, you'll be fine.
I think he has a great future.
You're quite a girl.
When I walked in here, I was
feeling kind of sorry for you.
Why?
Oh, I don't know. Having to work
your way through school and...
...missing a lot of good times.
Not having the best things in life.
The best things in life?
I've got them. Everybody has.
There are so many kinds of riches
And only one of them is gold
The wealth you miss
Remember this
Worthwhile things cannot
Be bought or sold
The moon belongs
To everyone
The best things in life
Are free
The stars belong
To everyone
They gleam there
For you and me
The flowers in spring
The robins that sing
The sunbeams that shine
They're yours
They're mine
And love can come
To everyone
The best things in life
Are free
Gee, I've learned a lot
of things today.
La main, les yeux, la bouche.
- What does that mean in French?
- Embrasser.
Embrasser?
It's just as nice
in both languages, isn't it?
Gee, what a vocabulary I've got.
Wait'll I spring this on Pat.
That'll put a dent in her.
Why don't you just hit her over
the head with a hockey stick?
We'll review the use
of the French pronoun...
...for the benefit of those who
have come into the class late.
II, he or it.
Elle, she or it.
Il est, he is.
Elle est, she is.
Ils, "they," plural, masculine.
- Are you sure he's in this class?
- They'll be out any minute now.
Pooch, you gotta do something.
It's a downright case of French
schizophrenia if I ever saw one.
Oh. Well, don't worry.
I'll see that he gets rid of all this
bologna. Just leave it to Poochie.
Je t'aime.
- Je t'adore. Les yeux bleus...
- Good luck in the game tomorrow.
- The opening game!
- Oh, yeah.
- Tomorrow, remember?
- It's a cinch. It's in the bag.
Je t'aime.
It's in the bag, eh?
What's the matter?
You and your French course.
That's what. You're gonna flunk it.
Then where will our team be?
Aw, dry up, Poochie.
Je t'aime, je t'adore,
les yeux bleus.
What's that?
This is my French speech.
I'm springing it on a Sheba.
I get it. It's that McClellan dame.
Tommy, have you gone nuts?
Yes!
The boys don't understand a word
you're saying on the field.
They're waiting for the signals.
You give them the signals in French!
Sure. Quarante-et-un, dix-huit,
soixante-neuf, onze. Hup!
I can't help it, Poochie.
Language comes easy to me.
I've been in the class five days,
and I speak like a native.
- Not sure from where, but a native.
- Comes easy, huh?
You think your parlez-vous franais
will charm Crenshaw off the field?
I don't know, but it'll charm McClellan
into going to the prom with me.
Poochie, vamoose.
I gotta study my speech.
Hey, Tommy!
My chauffeur!
She's at Gimpeldinger's
having a soda with Van Dyne.
Keep the engine boiling.
I'll be right down.
Je t'adore, je t'aime.
Vous tes merveilleux.
- Pooch, can I drop you someplace?
- Yeah, over the nearest cliff.
Anything wrong?
Things are so wrong, we may
wind up using you on the team.
Well, what's wrong with that?
- Nothing, if you want to lose.
- Babe! Go away.
- Is that all you have to say?
- Leave me alone!
- How long have you been here?
- I hopped in by the soda shop.
I had an ice-cream cone and a glass
of milk. By now it's a malted.
I'm trying to say I love you!
I told you, I won't have
anything to do with you.
I value my life. I love life,
and I want to live.
Sure, I like you. If circumstances
were different, well...
...you and me, that might be
how I'd like it to be...
To be or not to be,
that is the question...
...where government of the people, for
the people, give me liberty or give...
- Oh, hello, Beef.
- Who are you talking to?
- Nobody. I'm practicing a speech.
- I thought I saw you with someone.
- With somebody?
- Yeah, Babe.
How silly. Just us two, just
jalopy and me and baby makes three.
- You sure she wasn't here?
- Posi-lutely, abso-tively.
- Turner, you don't like Babe, do you?
- Like her?
- Can't stand her, silly flapper.
- What do you mean, "silly flapper"?
She's great! She's the bee's knees,
the cat's meow and she loves you.
- What'd you say?
- I said, "Oh, yeah.
She loves you. Yes, sir! "
I'm glad you said that. Otherwise
I might've done this...
- My fender!
- You know I get upset over Babe!
I'm highly tense. When you keep
your inhibitions inside...
...they just break open!
I said, "Ow! " When you hurt
this car, it's hurting me.
When I lose control, I get
shaken up from bottom to top!
- You don't know how I suffer!
- Beef, not so loud. My car!
- Oh, is this your car?
- It was.
Sorry. When I get mad, I don't know
what I'm doing, like I'm hypnotized.
Oh, that's all right.
- Give me a lift to Gimpeldinger's?
- Sure. Hop in.
No, no, in front!
Bobby, better take better care
of your car. It's getting shabby.
No, no, in front!
All out for Gimpeldinger's!
Well, old place hasn't changed much.
Wonder if MclKinley's still president?
Bonjour, mesdames et messieurs.
J'ouvre la porte. Well!
Je ferme la porte.
Garon, un split de banane,
s'il vous plat.
Coming up, Tommy.
Mes enfants...
...le franais, c'est le langage
de I'amour et de la guerre.
I drink la most beautiful
femme dans la chambre.
Elle knows who elle is.
Mademoiselle...
Beat it, Marlowe.
Mademoiselle, I have composed
a speech just for you...
...in your own language.
Je t'aime, je t'adore.
Les mains blanches, les yeux bleus...
...les oreilles petites, les dents
comme les perles, la bouche rouge.
Mademoiselle, que vous tes belle.
Que vous tes dlicieuse.
Mon coeur s'ouvre ta voix.
Le jour de gloire est arriv.
Therefore, mademoiselle,
after the game...
...I'd be honored if you'd
accompany me to the prom.
Mr. Marlowe, you are a pain
in the neck in any language.
I'm going to the prom
with Mr. Van Dyne.
You may be able to memorize lines,
but you can't memorize good manners.
Okay, Miss McClellan.
Maybe it took a ton of bricks to fall
on me, but I guess I get the idea.
You win.
I won't take up any more
of your valuable time.
You keep treating Tommy like that
and he might lose the game for Tait.
I'm afraid Mr. Marlowe's career
doesn't interest me.
Watch this. I'll get her interested.
Leave Pat alone, kids.
Just because he's our hero, she
doesn't have to throw herself at him.
And I don't blame her.
After all, he'll be The Pickle King of
America after he's done with college.
- The what?
- Oh, didn't you know?
His father's the Marlowe Pickle Works.
How sordid. Pickles.
Yeah, 30 million dollars' worth.
Isn't it disgusting?
And still, poor Tommy has no one
to go to the dance with.
All that dough, most popular
guy in school, no date.
Maybe you're betting on
the wrong horse.
- Mind your own business.
- Temper, temper.
A medicine man I met
Said, "Don't get yourself in a sweat"
When things look gray
Just shrug and say
"It must have been something I 'et"'
"So don't get yourself
In a snit, " he said
Tuck your tantrums
Into your kit instead
"It's disarming to be charming"
Quoth the medicine man
Whom all agree, it's plain to see
Nobody could be wiser than
So if your temper's
Getting the top hand
All you have to do is just stop and
Pass that peace pipe and
Bury that hatchet
Like the Choctaws, Chickasaws,
Chattahoochees, Chippewas do
If you're feeling mad as a wet hen
Mad as you can possibly get, then
Pass that peace pipe and
Bury that tomahawk
Like those Chichimecs,
Cherokees, Chapultepecs too
When you're cranky
Try to use a little restraint
Fold that hanky
And wipe off all of that war paint
But if you wanna be an all-right guy
Not a long-face,
Blues-in-the-night guy
Write that apology and dispatch it
When you've quarreled
It's grand to patch it
Pass that peace pipe and
Bury that hatchet
Like the Choctaws, Chickasaws,
Chattahoochees, Chippewas
And those Chichimecs,
Cherokees, Chapultepecs
And those Chicutemis,
Chapechets and Chicapees
Chochos, Changos, Chattanoogas,
Cheecharows do
Chocho!
Chango!
Chattanooga, Chippewa!
Chow, chow!
Choo, choo!
Chichimec, Chapultepec!
If you use a little control
You'll be top man on the totem pole
- Professor Kennyon!
- Oh, Miss Lane.
I was going to see you. I corrected
the tests, I'll give them to you now.
Thank you. Yes, the elementary
class. That was a fast job.
- Oh, excuse me...
- Well!
Gee, Connie! It's good to see you.
Oh, excuse me, professor.
Watch your step in more ways than one.
I've got your first exam here.
How did our football star do?
- A perfect paper. 100 percent.
- I did?
I'm surprised. Don't get careless.
You've got to tow the mark with me.
Football and studies don't mix.
Good day.
He's a pleasant old cuss.
Well, I've got to go
to football practice.
Gee, I got a perfect paper.
You know why? It's all your work.
It's just a vocabulary test,
mostly words you taught me that day.
Yes, I know.
It isn't half as much fun
when Kennyon teaches it.
I never have the least
impulse to kiss him.
Speaking of your impulses,
how about Pat McClellan?
Are you making a dent on her
with your French?
Oh, here, I'll take these.
Guess I should have used
that hockey stick.
It doesn't matter anymore. I knew
it the second I bumped into you.
I don't care. I don't care
if I never see her again.
Will you go to the prom with me?
After she declined?
No, thanks.
But I'm glad she did, because
now I can ask you.
Play second fiddle? No, thanks.
Guess I don't blame you.
- Well, who are you going to ask now?
- Nobody.
I'm not going stag.
Guess I won't go at all.
Not go to the prom?
But that's silly! Lt'll
practically be in your honor.
I'll go if you'll go with me.
Well...
- All right.
- You will? Wonderful!
Eight o'clock.
I'm late for practice.
Good luck in the game.
Oh, they sure are blue.
Look at Connie.
Hi, Connie!
She's acting so strange.
Connie, hello!
Hello...
So I told her if that's what she...
Hello, Connie.
Miss Connie!
- The sink, it's acting up again.
- It is? How nice.
How do you like that?
- She must've gone crazy.
- Overwork.
She's having a breakdown,
poor kid. I gotta do something!
Connie, are you all right?
- Babe, guess what?
- What?
I'm going to the prom tomorrow.
So that's it.
Wonderful! Who are you going with?
- You'll never guess.
- Then you better tell me.
Oh, I know it seems impossible, but...
...he likes me.
- Who?
Tommy.
- Tommy Marlowe.
- Tommy!
Connie, I think I ought
to warn you. Pat...
Oh, Pat! He told me all about that.
- It's all over.
- Are you sure?
Oh, of course, I'm sure.
Don't spoil my fun, Babe.
- What should I wear?
- A suit of armor.
Just think, I'm going out
with a football hero.
Yay, Marlowe! Come on, Marlowe!
Touchdown!
Tommy! Tommy!
Oh, I was so thrilled! You made
a football fan out of me overnight.
Oh, Tommy, I was
so mistaken about you.
But today, when I saw you
on the field...
...I suddenly realized
that maybe I was so rude to you...
...because I really liked you.
But I didn't want to like you
as much as I could...
...if I really let myself.
Pat, this is crazy. It's wonderful!
I don't know what to say.
I know what to say.
Can I go with you to the prom tonight?
Can you? Oh, this is terrific!
Wait a minute.
What about Van Dyne?
He just doesn't matter.
Poor Peter, he's really so stuffy.
I should've known
the minute you saw me play a game.
This is wonderful.
It's the greatest day of my life!
I win the opening game and you
at the same time.
Mademoiselle...
...voulez-vous accompany moi
la prom ce soir?
Your French is beautiful.
Enchante, monsieur, enchante.
See you tonight, then.
Tonight.
Connais-tu le pays?
Connais-tu, connais-tu? Con...
Connie!
372-J, please.
So I said, "Herbert, if you think
I'm one of those red-hot mamas...
...you're very badly mistaken. "
372-J, please.
That's right.
I said, "You may think
you're a sheik...
...but your harem has to
do without me.
That is, unless you change your tune. "
372-J, please.
- Hey, Janet.
- Wait.
- Well, you certainly took long enough.
- It's all yours, June.
Georgia, look. I got an orchid!
- Look, Joe sent me an orchid.
- Oh, boy!
My, that powder!
- Those from Bill?
- Aren't they pretty?
Beautiful.
I said, "I don't think
the car's out of gas.
If you think I'm walking home,
you've got another guess coming.
I brought my roller skates.
And furthermore... "
Flo, for Pete's sakes! You've been
on that telephone for two hours.
Oh, well, goodbye, Sally.
Who's taking me to the dance?
Well, who do you think? Herbert!
- How do I look?
- You don't look like a librarian.
- I don't feel like one.
- Connie, telephone call for you.
Babe, I was working on
that step you were doing.
- I know it starts like this...
- No, you're all wrong.
You throw your hip out like this.
Then you do...
Oh, that's cute like that.
That's where that comes in.
Oh, I love that step.
Vamoose, Flo. See you later.
Okay, sure. See you later.
Don't tell me. I know.
He broke the date.
He's going with Pat.
Babe, I feel so awful.
Oh, Connie, don't cry. Please.
How could he do that?
Call up at the last minute?
He's horrible.
He's just so dumb.
He is not dumb.
He got 100 percent
on his first French exam.
It's all my fault. I sicced her onto
him. I had to open my big mouth!
Gee, Connie, I didn't know
you liked him.
Fine friend I turned out to be.
Oh, don't blame yourself.
He didn't have to change his mind
the minute she came running.
Not if he didn't want to.
I guess he wanted to.
Hey, Babe, you ready?
Connie, I'll stay here with you.
Oh, that's sweet,
but it wouldn't help either one of us.
Well, there must be a way
of fixing this. I'll try.
No, don't. Don't try to fix anything.
I don't want him anymore.
You have a good time.
Well, what'll you do?
Oh, I'll read my favorite book...
...Les Misrables.
Have fun.
Goodbye.
I thought I'd found my ideal man
I always knew he'd arrive
Though he's a true heart-appeal man
He doesn't know I'm alive
But I don't spend my time in grieving
I've learned the trick
Of make-believing
So if I can't have my real man
There's only one way to thrive
Just imagine
That he loves me dearly
Just imagine
That I'm his sincerely
I'm pretending
That he's sending
Love notes ending
"I love you"
Seems that he's there
As the day is closing
On his knees there
I hear him proposing
He's not present
Still it's pleasant
To just imagine
That it's true
Come on, hurry up.
Break it up.
We want to see if we have
a game here Saturday.
Marlowe, Marlowe.
"D" in English.
"D" in history.
"D" in physics.
"C" in biology.
He never got those marks before.
He hasn't been studying. McClellan is
leading him around by the nose.
- He just made it.
- Yeah? Where's the French marks?
They're not posted yet.
I passed everything.
Guess I'll play in the game Saturday.
You're a genius. All we have to do
is worry about Tommy.
Where is he?
Hey, Babe, you passed everything!
I did?
Bobby! Bobby! I told you
last night I'd pass.
Hey, did you see him last night?
Here comes Tommy.
Well, kids, here I is.
- Darling, it's "here I am. "
- It's only slang.
I don't like you
to speak badly.
Okay, darling. Hi, coach.
Hi, Poochie.
Hello, darling.
Well, do I play Saturday?
- Yeah, you passed everything.
- But...
- "But"?
- The French marks aren't up yet.
You're not gonna worry about that.
My best subject.
Saturday's my big day.
We'll mop up the field with Colton.
- I hope so.
- And don't forget.
Saturday's a big day
for another reason.
Don't you remember?
Oh, yeah, sure.
Well, shall we tell everybody?
Yes. Yes, why not?
Listen, everybody. Saturday,
after Tommy wins the big game...
Oh, you tell them, Tommy.
All I wanted to say, kids, was that...
...after the big game
with Colton Saturday...
...Pat and I are gonna announce
our engagement.
- Holy mackerel!
- What is it?
"F."
- They can't do this to me.
- Can't? They did.
Well, that's that.
"That's that"?
We've gotta do something.
You've gotta play that game Saturday.
I know. The dean!
Come in.
The dean and Professor Kennyon
have decided to give Marlowe...
...a re-examination in French
tomorrow afternoon.
How nice for him.
When can you start coaching him?
- Me?
- Sure.
Yes, you.
Marlowe says you're the best.
Tell Mr. Marlowe I thank him for
the compliment, but I'm too busy.
Tell him to ask Miss McClellan.
- She says...
- I don't want them to bother you.
Pat speaks French,
but she's not up on her grammar...
- Tell Mr. Marlowe, "Quel fromage. "
- What?
I don't care what you think
about Marlowe...
...but that game next Saturday
is a dead duck without him.
- I don't care whether he plays or not.
- You don't?
You'd lose the game for us?
You're building the foundations
of a lifetime guilt complex!
I know how you feel,
but you've no choice.
- It's for dear old Tait.
- You gotta do something.
All right, for dear old Tait.
Tell Mr. Marlowe I'll meet him
at the sorority house at 8:00.
In the kitchen.
Gee, thanks, Connie.
Now name the verbs that take
tre instead of avoir.
Aller, tomber, sortir...
...partir, venir...
I can't think of any more.
That's hardly the right attitude.
You have an exam to pass.
Yeah, I know.
Kennyon is devoting his time
to giving you this chance.
I'm giving up my time.
The least you can do is concentrate.
I keep thinking of
so many other things.
Connie, won't you even talk to me?
You were doing splendidly with those
verbs. Would you try them again?
The moon belongs
To everyone
The best things in life
Are free
The stars belong
To everyone
They gleam there
For you and me
The flowers in spring
The robins that sing
The sunbeams that shine
They're yours
They're mine
And love
Can come to everyone
The best things in life
Are free
The flowers in spring
The robins that sing
Let me say I'm sorry. You haven't
talked to me for two months.
There's nothing to talk about.
You'd better study,
because if you study, you'll play.
And if you play, you'll win.
When you win, you'll be engaged
to Pat. Isn't that what you want?
Yeah, sure.
That's what I want.
Finish that translation,
then we'll be through for the night.
The best things in life
The best things in life
La lune, c'est tout le monde
On n'a pas besoin d'argent
Le ciel, c'est I pour tout le monde
On n'a pas besoin d'argent
Les fleurs de printemps
Les oiseaux qui chantent
Ces belles choses sont tout
Pour moi
Pour vous
And love can come
To everyone
The best things in life
Are free
How am I doing?
Just a few little mistakes.
Mistakes.
I've made one after the other, starting
with breaking that date with you.
Oh, that was no mistake.
You got what you wanted.
Yeah, I guess so.
Gee, it's funny to think about
being engaged.
I wonder what it's like to be stuck
with one person for life.
If it were the right one, you
wouldn't see yourself as stuck.
I didn't exactly mean "stuck. "
I mean, well...
Do you ever think about yourself after
college, settled down and married?
Of course. I guess every girl has
a pretty good idea of what she wants.
What do you want?
Oh, I guess I'd like to have
a family to bring up...
...and be able to go to concerts
and theaters, balcony seats...
...and have people over to the house,
a nice little house.
A vine-covered cottage?
Or an apartment.
I guess the important thing is
finding the right fellow.
It sounds pretty dull to you,
doesn't it?
No, it sounds wonderful.
What do you want?
Well, I guess I...
Hello.
Just came in to see
how the lesson's going.
The patient will live.
I didn't know a French lesson
included singing love songs.
You were listening.
I heard Tommy's voice, and I naturally
thought he was singing for me.
I need hardly remind you
that we're practically engaged.
Making a play for a practically engaged
man is a very unladylike thing to do.
So is listening at keyholes.
Oh, don't worry, Pat.
Tommy will get all the answers right
because he loves you.
Even if he didn't, I wouldn't want him.
I wouldn't want him if he were
the last man here.
You picked the perfect mate
for yourself.
He's inconsiderate, vain, selfish,
and you can't believe a word he says.
And the same goes for you. You deserve
to be stuck with each other.
Congratulations!
I know you'll both be very happy.
I wonder where Connie is.
What's going on?
Well, do you want to correct it?
Oh, he passed, all right.
It's almost silly to look.
Well, we'll see.
- What is this? Some kind of a joke?
- What?
Listen to this.
"Name the French verbs that take tre. "
Answer: "Hit her over the head
with a hockey stick. "
What?
"Give the French word
for 10 objects in the room. "
Answer: "The best things
in life are free. "
Go ahead.
"Write an essay in French describing
your home. " He answered in English.
"A vine-covered apartment with people
on the balcony and 12 children. "
- Oh, that's wonderful!
- Wonderful?
- Professor, do you know what this means?
- I certainly do not.
- It means he loves me.
- What?
- He loves me.
- What are you talking about?
He knows French. He could've passed,
but he wanted to flunk. Don't you see?
No, I don't see.
He didn't pass so he couldn't play,
so he wouldn't be engaged to Pat.
He loves you so much he'd even
lose the game for the school?
And I love him too.
Just a minute, Connie.
You tell me this boy
really knows his French?
He knows it cold.
I've got to admire him.
He made a big sacrifice...
...giving up something that must mean
a good deal to him, winning that game.
It means a good deal
to the school too.
I know, but...
As you are aware, I'm not the school's
greatest football enthusiast...
...but under the circumstances...
...I think I ought to pass him.
- Pass him?
You'd feel guilty if he
didn't play in that game.
But if he wins, Pat's got him.
Work out your personal problems
without involving the whole school.
I'm afraid you'll have to find
some other way.
Well, I hate to say it,
but I guess you're right.
Well, I'll leave it up to you.
Shall I pass him?
- Hey, Connie!
- Did he pass?
- Come on.
- Let us know!
Here she comes now.
After carefully considering
Mr. Marlowe's...
...unusual examination paper...
...and being somewhat surprised...
...at the rather remarkable answers
to some of the questions...
...Professor Kennyon
has decided that...
Well, he's interested...
...and though he doesn't approve of
some of the phrasing used...
...he feels that Mr. Marlowe
has demonstrated...
...a real feeling for the language.
Well, what is it?
He passed.
Marlowe showed them
A thing or two
He's a ladies' man
He's a "wow"
With the parlez-vous
So Marlowe
Big man on the campus
Marlowe, it's all up to you
To come through!
Number 16, pass.
Hike.
What does that lug Marlowe think
he's doing? Playing tiddlywinks?
He sure isn't
trying very hard to win.
Trying to win?
He's the best man Colton has!
Isn't his little woman here
to spur him on to glory?
Pat's at the house
fixing her prom dress.
I suppose she figures
the game's in the bag.
Beef, are you hurt?
Take a breath.
- That hurt?
- A little.
- Doc, how bad is it?
- Can't tell until we take an x-ray.
Come over to the infirmary.
We'd better finish the game here.
- But I didn't...
- Take it easy. Save your strength.
We may need you
for the Maypole dance next spring.
You're all invited.
That's right, laugh.
Enjoy yourselves.
Popcorn! Cracker Jacks!
Champagne for everyone!
All right!
You thought I'd come in here and bawl
the living daylights out of you.
Scream. Rant! Lose my mind!
But nothing like that's gonna happen.
I'm perfectly calm.
I'm not gonna let
a little old football game upset me!
Take it easy.
I could tell you what you've
done wrong, but you know what you did.
Zubrowski, that end run.
Hepple! Hepple, where were you?
Sternsdorf, offside three times.
Fifteen yards!
Thompson.
Thompson, haven't you heard?
The forward pass has been legal
for 15 years.
Okay! What's the use?
Of course, I know the one thing
that's really wrong.
Marlowe, you're not playing at all.
If you'd get in there and play,
they'd all play with you.
- What's eating you, Tommy?
- Nothing. I'm all right.
"All right"?
You're so all right, you'll spend
the rest of the game on the bench.
That's final!
All right. Ha!
If you're all right, then I'm crazy.
I'll prove it to you.
Turner, come here.
Me, sir?
Our two best players are
out of the game.
So I thought it'd be an interesting
form of suicide to put you in.
Gee, that's great, coach.
I'll kill them. I'll kill them!
I'll tear them apart. I'll show them.
For dear old Tait, I'll do or die!
What spirit! Look at that.
There's inspiration for you.
New blood in the game. That good old
Tait spirit. And no one can beat it.
You won't let all those people down.
Not all those people out there!
Not all those little old ladies
who sweep up the stadium.
I mean...
That's it! Bobby!
Bobby, my boy.
Fellas, get up off your benches
and get in there and fight!
I wish I had a broken rib.
You shouldn't say that.
You still got a chance to win.
Win what? The game?
And Pat too. Don't you want to
announce your engagement to her?
Not when I'm in love with Connie.
Connie?!
Connie!
Beef! Here we are.
- You all right?
- I'll be x-rayed.
Down in front.
You can't just sit here.
Tommy's losing the game!
What can I do?
He said if he wins, he gets
the wrong girl because he loves you!
Aw, sit down!
You mean Tommy really loves Connie?
Yeah, and she's gotta
give him a pep talk.
But if I do, then I lose him forever.
Holy smoke! You mean it's true?
Then we gotta do something.
You love him. He loves you.
We gotta get rid of Pat.
Why did I ever tell her
Tommy was the Pickle King?
Pickle King?
Have you got your
brother-in-law's car?
- Sure. Have you seen it?
- No, but I'd love to.
- We're going.
- You gonna talk to Tommy?
I'm going to the house.
See you later.
- But my x-rays.
- Yes!
Faster.
I don't understand.
Oh, please, Beef,
I've got to concentrate.
There. You wait here, Beef.
If someone comes out before I do,
give her a lift.
- All right, but I don't understand.
- You will.
I'm glad you're back.
The sink...
Never mind that.
You've got to help me.
- Have you ever acted in a play?
- What?
I mean, have you ever
recited lines like...
...Sarah Bernhardt or Ethel Barrymore?
You know.
- You mean play-acting?
- Yes. Come on.
Wait a minute. I've written it all
down. Don't talk till you get there.
Oh, Cora! I'm so unhappy!
Oh, Cora, I had to come back
from the game.
I couldn't stand it anymore.
It's so awful.
We're winning!
Tommy is piling up
touchdown after touchdown.
And by tonight, he'll be engaged
to that awful Pat McClellan.
I hate her!
"Now, now, Miss Connie,
you better forget all about it.
He loves her and that's all
there is to it. "
"Oh, I can't stand it!
She's got him for life. "
"Does she love him? "
"Oh, I suppose she does.
After all, she stuck by him,
even through what just happened. "
"Through what just happened? "
"Haven't you heard?
Tommy's father, the Pickle King,
he's gone bankrupt. "
"Really? "
"Yes. A terrible cucumber blight
in Iowa.
He's a ruined man.
Tommy is penniless! "
"No! "
"Well, I guess Pat won't mind.
She'll be glad to scrimp and scrub
and save and sew...
...because she'll have him.
After all...
...when you have love,
money doesn't really matter.
Does it, Cora? "
"Does it, Cora? " I mean, I mean...
"She could clear 15...
...or 20 taking in washing. "
"Oh, but she has such pretty hands. "
"Oh, well, it's her problem now. "
"Poor child. Why don't you go back
to the game? "
"No, I can't watch anymore.
Beef drove me over. He's outside now.
He's been paying a lot of attention
to me ever since...
...Babe gave him back
his fraternity pin.
But I guess I love Tommy too much. "
"Beef is a very fine fellow, no. "
"Oh, a girl could do worse.
Just think, he's one of
the richest boys at Tait.
Dairy products, you know.
Worth millions!
Have you seen that new car of his? "
"Oh, my, it is a wow. Yes. "
"Just think. Such a catch...
...and completely unattached.
Maybe I'd better hold on to him
before someone else gets there. "
- Was it all right?
- Marvelous!
Gee, why must everyone
get literary in my car?
Please forgive me, Beef.
This is very important.
You will forgive me, won't you?
Gee, I'd forgive you anything.
Ready. Hike!
Hey, Tommy, I've got
something for you.
"Can't stand in the way of true love.
Make big sacrifice.
Give you up. Pat. "
Hey, Beef! This is it!
Hey! Thanks.
Coach! I'm all right now.
May I go in?
Marlowe, I can't figure it.
We got three minutes. Go ahead.
All right, 32 is our only chance.
Bobby, you know the play?
Okay, hike.
Tommy, we've been looking for you.
Where have you been?
Wait a minute. Wait.
Has anyone seen Connie?
I've gotta go.
So we're on the 40-yard line,
and I've got the ball.
So I turn around...
I got squatter's rights!
All right, break it up, girls.
Come here, woman, and kiss me.
Where's Beef?
I'm not afraid of him.
Hey, Beef! Are you looking?
Gee, I used to think I had
a mother fixation.
You're not a bit like her.
I like you better.
Beefy, you're a panic.
- Do you think he's here?
- Of course he is.
I can't understand why he didn't call.
He still thinks
that you don't like him.
After five minutes,
you'll be in each others' arms.
- Really?
- Check, please.
Oh, Van Dyne.
Would you take Miss Lane inside?
I left my pipe.
- I'd be delighted.
- Thank you, Peter.
You just look adorable tonight.
Why, Peter.
Van Dyne!
Who'd you expect her to come with,
Professor Kennyon?
I don't know what to expect.
I'm going home.
- Marlowe.
- Yes, sir?
- Where are you rushing off to?
- I'm going home.
- Isn't it a bit early?
- Yes, sir.
Don't leave so soon. I think there's
someone inside looking for you.
- Who?
- Connie Lane, to be exact.
She can't stand the sight of me.
So you're going home?
You're just leaving?
Slinking away like Napoleon
from Waterloo.
Did you speak to her?
You didn't even speak to her?
What's the matter with you?
You don't do this in football.
In a losing battle, you try harder!
Don't give up. How do you
know she doesn't love you?
What is it your coach says?
You've got to?
- Get in there...
- Yes! Get in there and fight.
Good luck.
Connie!
Connie?
Oh, it's you. I thought you'd left.
How'd you know?
Somebody told me.
Well, I almost left.
What stopped you?
Nothing stopped me, I'm leaving now.
Where are you going?
Where am I going? I'm going home!
Where do people generally go?
Home.
You staying?
Oh, yes. I'm having a lovely time.
Why don't you go back inside?
I like it out here.
I think it's utterly
delightful out here.
And besides, no one's gonna tell me
where to go! Why don't you go inside?
I'm leaving.
I don't have to go inside.
Then why don't you leave?
Because I love you!
That's a ridiculous thing to say.
Well, I said it.
- I'm glad.
- What?
I'm glad!
- Oh, you are?
- Yes.
In that case, I've got a lot
of things to say.
For instance?
Remember the day when you
gave me the French lesson?
There are a lot of things
you could teach me...
...and that's the way I want it to be.
You name it.
I'll do anything you say.
- Anything?
- Try me.
Down on your heels.
Down on my heels?
Up on your toes.
Up on my toes? What's that?
That's the way to do the Varsity Drag
We've always thought
Knowledge is naught
We should be taught
To dance
Right here at Tait
We're up-to-date
We teach a great
New dance
Don't think that I brag
I speak of the Drag
Why should a sheik
Learn how to speak
Latin and Greek
Badly?
Give him a neat
Motto complete
Say it with feet
Gladly
First lesson right now
You'll love it
And how you'll love it
Here is the Drag
See how it goes
Down on your heels
Up on your toes
That's the way to do the Varsity Drag
Hotter than hot
Newer than new
Meaner than mean
Bluer than blue
Gets as much applause
As waving the flag
You can pass many a class
Whether you're dumb or wise
If you all answer the call
When your professor cries
"Everybody, down on the heels
Up on the toes
Stay after school
Learn how it goes "
Everybody do the Varsity Drag
Here is the Drag
See how it goes
Down on your heels
Up on your toes
That's the way to do the Varsity Drag
Hotter than hot
Newer than new
Meaner than mean
Bluer than blue
Gets as much applause
As waving the flag
You can pass many a class
Whether you're dumb or wise
If you all answer the call
When your professor cries
"Down on your heels
Up on your toes
Stay after school
Learn how it goes "
Every
Everybody
Step right up and do
The Varsity Drag
The boy
Garon
Gets girl
La fille
That's good
C'est bon
The show fini
The moral to this tale is
Learn to parlez-vous
Send her a billet doux
Tell her
Her eyes are blue
They sure are blue!
Je vous adore
Means I love you
Come here to me
Good news!
T- A-I-T, Tait! Hooray!
"A " is for "A " college
Where students never want to graduate
"I" is for "Intercollegiate"
Intercollegiate fame
"T" is for the Tait "Team"
It's such a great team
Tait's prowess on the field
Is known to fame
For athletically, there's no team
- Like the Tait football team
- Boom diddy bah, diddy bah, Tait
Tait's the team we're rooting for
The team we're rooting for
Tait's the team that's won before
That's always won before
Victory will soon be ours
Hear the mighty roar
For the champion team is
Tait! Tait! Tait!
'Tis good news
You're gonna do me good
Come right here to me, good news
- Good news, news
- Good news
You're what I've waited for
That's what I'm slaving for
Good news is so
- Good to me
- To me, to me, to me, to me
Bad news is no
Good to me
Goody, good good good
Good news, you're bound to do me good
Come right here to me, good news
Have you heard the good news?
Gonna be good news
Gotta have good news
So we're saying bye-bye, bad news
Hello! Goody, good news!
T- A-I-T, T-A-I-T, T-A-I- Tait! Hooray!
- Hi, Babe.
- Hi, gang.
- We're gonna watch football practice.
- No, thank you.
Hey, there's the dean.
- Wow, get a load of that!
- Who is it?
She's the new pledgee, Pat McClellan.
A transfer from
the Black Briar Finishing School.
- And I do hope you'll like it here.
- I love it already, Dean Griswold.
You've been absolutely charmant.
- Goodbye, Miss McClellan.
- Au revoir!
- Hello, Babe.
- Hello, McClellan.
- Everybody, this is Pat McClellan.
- Hi, Pat.
Enchante. Enchante.
Hey, wait'll Tommy Marlowe
gets a load of that!
- How men'll fall for a pretty face.
- You said it.
- Last chance to go to the field.
- Aw, football!
- What are we waiting for?
- Come on, let's go.
Fellows, I hate to say it, but that was
a pretty nice practice. Thompson...
...watch your passing.
Zubrowski, nice broken field running.
Beef, I'll get to you later.
- What are you doing?
- I'm warming up.
- Can't hang up a cold uniform.
- Bobby, get your uniform off.
I never get to wear it. I like to
keep it on till the last minute.
I even rub a little dirt on it just
to convince myself I'm on the team.
- You'll get off the bench this year.
- I hope so.
All the girls want football heroes.
I guess that's about all.
You can go to the party tonight.
And you can stay out till 10:00.
Listen, you crybabies! You're not
gonna be so social this year.
We're not running a mahjong society.
I want you all out for early practice.
And don't forget,
this is just the beginning.
The first game's
just a week off. Okay.
Good going. You're in the pink.
- You'll be better than last year.
- Thanks, I owe it all to Poochie.
- I made him work.
- We'll win every game...
...including against Colton.
- Don't say it.
Think it, but don't say it out loud!
The evil spirits don't like it.
You're lucky you're
the best trainer here.
Tommy, you gotta stay away
from the women this year.
Remember, you're a football player,
not Rudolph Valentino.
Women won't interfere with how I play.
I can take them or leave them.
I wish another player
could say the same.
- Beef.
- Yes, sir?
- Where were you today?
- Right here on the field.
Your delicate body may have been there,
but that dumb head of yours...
...was off worrying about
that flapper, Babe Doolittle.
You're right, coach. But I'll be
all right, I'm studying psychology.
Psychology! It's black magic.
Leave it alone.
It teaches you to act natural. You
shouldn't have repressed hostilities.
If you got something inside,
you should let it come out.
So I want to announce right now...
...if anyone comes near
Babe Doolittle, I'll kill him!
- Wow! You tell 'em, Beef.
- That's love.
- Bobby, hurry up.
- Have you met the new bombshell yet?
The Phi Gamma Gamma,
Patricia McClellan.
She's burning up the campus.
Haven't you seen her?
- I let the gals come to see me.
- Tommy, how do you do it?
It's a cinch and it's a snap
They just fall in your lap
And, Bobby, you can make them
Do the same
Who, me? Never.
Don't be scared, don't be shy
Get that gleam in your eye
And then you'll have more girls
Than you can name
Wear collegiate, collegiate clothes
- Be a ladies' man
- I just look silly.
Get that swagger and get that pose
- Be a ladies' man
- I couldn't.
If you think you're much too skinny
With your six-inch waist
Don't just give up the fight in haste
Some girls have such peculiar taste
Be a ladies'
Be a ladies'
Learn to be a ladies' man
- And be collegiate
- Collegiate
- Collegiate
- Collegiate.
Walk collegiate, talk collegiate
- Be a ladies' man
- A rooty tooty
Get that swagger, get that pose
- Be a ladies' man
- A rooty toot
And when a ladies' man
Wears a certain tie
And that twinkle is in his eye
You can kiss your sweetie-pie goodbye
They love a ladies' man
- Oh, how I love the ladies
- Root toot-toot, rooty toot-toot-toot
Get that gleam, boy
Right in your eye
- I wanna be a ladies' man
- A rooty tooty
Root toot-tooty, toot-toot-toot-toot
Be a ladies' man
A rooty tooty
When they give you that frozen stare
Make believe that you just don't care
Then in no time they're in your hair
If you're a ladies' man
If you're a ladies' man
If you're a ladies' man
You gotta be up-to-date
You gotta know your stuff
If you want to rate
You gotta sing vo-do-de-o
and boop-boop-a-doop
You gotta ukelele lady
Lika she lika you
You gotta do the Black Bottom
Gotta do the Shag
And the Charleston
And the Varsity Drag
Oh, how I love the ladies
Wear collegiate, collegiate clothes
We're so collegiate
Rather be a ladies'
Rather be a ladies'
Rather be a ladies' man
Swagger!
And strike a pose
Gotta be, gotta be, gotta be
Rooty toot-toot
To be a ladies' man
If you're a football star
A big shot or an also-ran
A guy whose clothes don't fit him
Or a Dapper Dan
Any man who is half a man
Has to be a ladies'
Gotta be a ladies'
Gonna be a ladies'
Gotta be a ladies'
Hope to be a ladies'
Gotta be a ladies'
- Gotta be a ladies' man
- The cat's pajamas
- Gotta be a ladies' man
- I'll pay you Tuesday
- Gotta be a ladies' man
- I really mean it
Gotta be a ladies' man
And I don't mean maybe
Got to be a ladies' man
If I do more of this, I won't
have strength for the party.
Why do you need strength?
Beef's curfew is 10.
I'm through with football stars
whose curfews are 10.
- My new passion is Bobby Turner.
- That skeleton?
He's about as appealing as
a string bean. He's nothing.
Yeah, he's nothing.
He's on the scrub team.
He can stay out all night.
Oh, I'm mad about him.
- Does the lucky boy know about this?
- He will tonight.
Of all the nerve, she can't do this!
Where's Connie?
- Look at that thing. What is it?
- Pat McClellan's dress.
- Oh, gee.
- Wow!
She made me fix it.
I don't have to do that.
- I'm gonna tell Connie.
- Come on, she's in the kitchen.
- Connie!
- Here I am.
- What's the trouble?
- It's that Pat McClellan.
Connie, do you know what she asked me
to do? Sew some beads on her dress.
Who does she think she is, Marie
Antoinette? Give me a wrench, Cora.
Maybe you can say something to her.
I don't know what I'd like to say.
Give me a rag, Cora.
- Here, let me look at that thing.
- Cora, give me a...
Holy smoke!
Is this the dress?
- What do you think of it?
- Isn't it the cat's?
Just out of the Ziegfeld Follies.
Where does it need fixing?
- It doesn't anymore. I fixed it.
- You didn't.
I already did it before
I remembered to get mad.
I'd better have a talk with her.
- What about the sink?
- It's fixed.
Don't have harsh words with her.
She's new and doesn't know.
You're right, Mrs. Drexel. After all,
she is just out of finishing school.
You wonderful creature!
Why does everyone love you?
Why are you so divine...
...so clever, so popular?
I sure wish someone loved me
the way you love you.
Why, Connie Lane. I was only
fooling, n'est-ce pas?
It sounded like true love to me.
Here's that burlap bag.
How sweet of you to bring it up.
Merci, merci.
As long as you're living with us,
there are a few things...
Why, of course. Naturally.
That dress, for instance. For a little
sorority party, it's rather extreme.
- Extreme? Really?
- And obvious.
Obvious?
- It's Babe. Can we come in?
- Entrez.
Sure.
I hate to interrupt, but the sheiks
will be here any minute.
- You'll slay them in that dress, Pat.
- They're all pretty impressionable.
- Have you met any of them?
- Not yet.
But I hope to meet all
the worthwhile ones.
Well, let's see now. Which ones
are really, really worthwhile?
Eddie Dunkelman. He's a catch.
His father's the local butcher.
He's a little short and a little fat,
but he does a mean Charleston.
The boy for you is Tommy Marlowe.
We're all just crazy about him.
Tommy Marlowe? Who's he?
Only the captain of the football team.
And what a sheik.
You know, girls, I think college
contacts are terribly important.
It's trs ncessaire to find
someone of the right background...
...and sufficient wealth...
...of culture.
Oh, that's so true.
Is 25 million dollars
enough culture for you?
Peter Van Dyne, llI has it.
Richest man at Tait.
- Van Dyne, III?
- Oh, but he's such a drip.
For 25 million dollars, let him drip.
He's not an attractive boy?
Attractive? He's the twerpiest
wet smack of all time.
Quel fromage.
- What did you say?
- I said, "Quel fromage. "
- "What a pity" in French.
- Oh, you must mean dommage.
Fromage means cheese.
Quel fromage. "What cheese. "
Oh, of course, dommage.
How silly of me.
Come on, they're here.
- Is Bobby here?
- I'm not ready!
- You were saying about the dress?
- Oh, forget it Pat. I was wrong.
The dress suits you perfectly.
Nice party, Mrs. Drexel. But I want
the team out of here by 10:00.
Of course, Mr. Pooch.
That's understood.
Gee, I love to dance. I feel like
I'm not even touching the floor.
You're not.
It's heaven with you in my arms.
Let's go out on the porch.
Let's dance.
- Do you love somebody else?
- Oh, no, Beef.
You just don't understand me. I'm
like the psychology you talked about.
I'm a split personality.
Oh. Well, if anyone comes near you,
they'll be a split personality.
- Hey, what are you doing?
- Oh, nothing.
Beef, look at poor Connie.
You've simply gotta help her.
Connie?
Beef's dying to help.
Give him something to do.
- Fine. Would you help me pass these?
- Sure.
- Well, Bobby, here I am.
- What?
- It's time for that dance I promised.
- Go away!
- Beef will kill whoever comes near you.
- Well, wouldn't it be worth it?
Hey, what's going on?
- Bobby, you and me are soul mates.
- What?
I won't take no for an answer.
Tell me you love me.
Look at that. Goose pimples.
Think it's cold? It's you.
Well, look at that. Goose pimples.
You think it's you?
It's Beef. Let me go!
There's nothing like
a college education.
- Tommy, where've you been?
- Tommy!
Girls, girls, where is this gorgeous
creature I've been hearing about?
Oh, McClellan isn't down yet.
Now, don't worry. I'll be back.
- Hi, Tommy.
- Hi, Evelyn.
What is this, the waiting room?
We can all go home now.
Marlowe is here.
Thanks. This is quite a turnout.
If this show's no good,
I want my money back.
I have a little
announcement to make...
...you are about to witness Patricia
McClellan, the female form divine.
Jungle potentates have fought
for one smile from her lips.
For only 10 cents, you will see this
little lady descend these stairs...
...placing one dainty foot before
the other. All right, watch...
Some of these boys you know, but I'd
like to introduce you to a few more.
Patricia McClellan, Clyde Waters.
Richard Tripper...
...Eddie Dunkelman...
- And I'm Tommy Marlowe.
That was a charming speech,
Mr. Marlowe.
You've obviously spent most of
your life in a freak show.
I was only kidding.
You're really terrific.
I'll tell you more while we dance.
- Shall we go on, Mrs. Drexel?
- Oh, yes. This is Grover Smith.
- And this is Peter Van Dyne, III.
- Van Dyne.
Mr. Van Dyne, III,
I've heard so much about you.
I believe my mother might have
met your mother at Newport?
Well, that's very possible.
- Would you care to dance?
- Oh, I'd love to.
Kind of cold in here, isn't it?
- How does it feel to get the brush?
- How do you like her, Tommy?
She's not so hot. Just trying to
play hard to get. Hey, Danny!
You're the first touch of
refinement I've found here.
The first person I can really talk to.
That makes me very happy.
I'd like to make you
100 million times happier.
100 million! Oh, Peter!
You don't know what this means...
My lord, would you and the duchess
like a moldy canap?
Not very funny.
I'll try one first,
in case you suspect poison.
- Not a bad idea.
- You're more at home in a freak show.
- You were saying...
- Van Dyne!
- Van Dyne.
- What is it?
Phone call, long distance. New York.
- What? Where, inside?
- No, at the dormitory.
I'd better scoot.
Pat, I'll only be a few minutes.
It'll seem like eons, my dear.
Oh, poor Peter.
I hope it isn't bad news.
Ten o'clock! Football team out of
here, pronto! Everybody out.
Isn't that your cue? You've got
something to do with football, right?
Are you kidding?
Why, I'm the captain of the team.
I don't get this. What's the matter?
I'm a popular guy.
Really?
- This year I'll be all-American.
- All-American?
Does that mean you become a citizen?
Come on, Pat. Don't be an iceberg.
You gotta melt someday.
Mr. Marlowe, haven't I made it
clear to you that I don't like you?
I'll spin you into town tomorrow night.
Have dinner, go dancing, just us two.
I'll pick you up at 6. Okay?
- Quelle effronterie!
- Pat?
- My dear.
- Peter, what is it?
I phoned the dormitory.
There was no call for me at all.
No call?
Well, I think I'd better be going.
Don't forget about tomorrow night.
- I'm glad you could stay, Peter.
- So am I.
I knew when I came down those stairs,
this was going to be my lucky night.
It's like fate.
It was accidental
We just met by chance
Yet I'm very certain
You will be my big romance
Football players bore me
All they've got is health
But, you, my sweet
Are joy complete
Because you've got such wealth
Of culture
Lucky in love
Lucky in love
What else matters
If you're lucky in love?
Good breaks are few
Few skies are blue
But bad luck scattered
When I first looked at you
I don't care
What the future will bring
If we're there together
I won't need a thing
I'll say I'm lucky in love
If you'll take me, that'll make me
Oh, so lucky in love
Lucky in love
Lucky in love
Don't you know when you are
Lucky in love?
You're just my speed
Why must I plead?
Oh, come to baby
In her hour of need
I don't care if you're puny and weak
And you've only got
Baby fuzz on your cheek
I love you!
Lucky in love
If you trust me then we must be
- Oh, so lucky in love
- In love
Lucky in love
- You're lucky if you're lucky in love
- You're lucky
- Lucky in love
- You're lucky
Lucky in love
Lucky in love
Lucky in love
What else matters
If you're lucky in love?
Good days are few
Few skies are blue
But bad luck scatters
Every time I'm with you
I don't mind if at poker, I'm green
If I stand ace high
With a beautiful queen
I'll say I'm lucky in love
If you'll take me, that'll make me
Oh, so lucky
So darn lucky
Lucky in love
Lucky in love
Guess I never will be
Lucky in love
Some girls are gay
Know what to say
But when I talk
I scare the fellows away
If my dream man
Should ever arrive
I can bet he won't
Even know I'm alive
Lucky in love
Must be fun to be someone who's
Oh, so lucky in love
In love, lucky in love
You're lucky if you're lucky in love
You're lucky in love
You're lucky in love
So lucky, lucky, lucky
If you're lucky in love
- You're lucky
- Got your head in a whirl
- You're lucky
- If you got the right girl
You're oh, so lucky
Lucky in love
Lucky in love
Up to now
I've been so lucky in love
Never was spurned
Never got burned
The cat's pajamas
Where the girls were concerned
But now I'm acting
Just like a dope
It's the first time some baby said
"It's no soap. "
And meant it!
Lucky in love
If you take me, that'll make...
- So it was you!
Of all the uncouth,
contemptible tricks!
I just wanted a chance
to get together.
Get together? I never want
to see you again. You...
You're absolutely incorrigible!
- What's that?
- That's French.
Pal, that gal
Sure put you in your place
When she called you incorrigible
To your face
Oh, brother, you got a shove
And without that, we still doubt that
You'd be lucky in love
In love, lucky in love
You're lucky if you're lucky in love
You're lucky
So lucky
It's oh, so lovely
If you are
Lucky in love
- These are what you're looking for.
- That's fine, Miss Lane. Thanks.
Good night.
Why, Mr. Marlowe. What on earth
are you doing here?
Well, why? Can't anyone come in here?
I thought you'd made a mistake. It's
not the hangout for the football team.
What do you mean? I've often
been here doing research.
Not in the past three years.
Why do you say that?
I work here, Mr. Marlowe.
I'm the assistant librarian.
In that case, I'll never lie again.
But how come you look so familiar?
Where have I seen you before?
You've seen me 100 times
in the past three years.
You stood right next to me
at the punch bowl last night.
My name is Connie Lane.
Babe's roommate! For crying out loud,
then you're a student.
- Why do you want to work here?
- It helps pay my tuition.
It's called working your way
through college.
Oh, I'm sorry.
At your service.
Where's the French dictionary?
I want to look up a word.
I'm majoring in languages.
What's the word?
Ever heard of a French word,
"in-courage-gee-bull"?
- You mean incorrigible.
- What does it mean?
Same thing it means in English.
"Lmpossible, incorrigible,
past reforming. "
That's what I thought.
She spoke the word beautifully.
I heard it all the way in the kitchen.
I'll give her back that parlez-vous.
- Who's the best French teacher?
- Kennyon.
I'll sign up for a course.
Don't get carried away. Kennyon is
tough, and he hates football players.
I've never flunked a subject yet.
Come on, show me a few words.
- Don't be silly. It's closing time.
- Come on.
Well, all right.
- The book, le livre
- Le livre, the book
- The pen, la plume
- La plume, the pen
- La chaise
- La chaise
- Le crayon
- Le crayon
- Le cahier
- Le cahier
- Le papier
- Le papier
Noir, rouge, blanc
are black, red, white
- Rouge, blanc, noir
- You're fairly bright
- Now please go back
- I bet I get them right
Rouge, blanc, noir, le papier, le cahier
Le crayon, la chaise, la plume, le livre
Le livre est rouge
La chaise est noir
- Wonderful!
- This is work?
It's more like play
In no time flat
Je parle franais
- Had enough?
- I'm just starting
All right, you asked for it
The door, la porte
La porte, the door
Of wood, du bois
Du bois, of wood
To open, ouvrir
Ouvrir, to open
To shut, fermer
Fermer, to shut
The pronouns that you need
Are je and vous
Je means me
and vous means you
Now do them all
Just watch me plow right through
Je and vous, to shut, fermer, to open
Ouvrir, la porte, rouge, blanc et noir
Le papier, le cahier, le crayon
La chaise, la plume, le livre
J'ouvre la porte
Je ferme la porte
Marvelous!
My thirst to learn you can't quench
Come fill me up to here with French
- More?
- More
- You'll explode
- Who cares?
The hand, la main
La main, the hand
The mouth, la bouche
La bouche, the mouth
- Les yeux sont bleus
- They sure are blue
- Les cheveux
- The hair, les cheveux
The words for boy and girl
Garon et fille
Garon et fille
Are he and she
- Now from the top
- I'll get my French degree
Garon et fille, les cheveux, the hair
Les yeux sont bleus, la bouche, la main
Je et vous, fermer, ouvrir, la porte
Rouge, blanc, noir, papier, cahier
Le crayon, la chaise, la plume, le livre
Mesdames! Messieurs!
Les yeux sont bleus
- You're crazy!
- Won't you come join me in a dance?
I am the president of France!
- Gee, this is fun.
- Yes, I know.
I didn't know learning could be fun.
Look at these books
waiting to be read.
- Anybody can come in and read them.
- Yeah, no cover charge.
When I was a kid, I loved to read.
I wanted to find out about everything.
I thought I was the only
kid who felt that way.
You too?
I wanted to find out about
everybody in the world.
Don't bother with that now.
Come on.
There was a creek back home.
I used to take a canoe and...
...pretend that I was going to
the countries I'd read about.
- Bread and butter.
- Bread and butter.
I was Huck Finn on the Mississippi,
the Volga, the Nile, the Seine...
...all of them.
Sometimes at night, I'd sit there
in my canoe and look up at the stars.
I'd look up at them from our
rooftop in Chicago...
...and think of all the people all over
the world looking up at the same stars.
Thinking about them
in different languages.
Now the whole world just seems
to be little Tait College.
I never think about anything
but being a big football star.
That'll be over in
a few months, and then what?
If you don't forget about that boy
in the canoe, you'll be fine.
I think he has a great future.
You're quite a girl.
When I walked in here, I was
feeling kind of sorry for you.
Why?
Oh, I don't know. Having to work
your way through school and...
...missing a lot of good times.
Not having the best things in life.
The best things in life?
I've got them. Everybody has.
There are so many kinds of riches
And only one of them is gold
The wealth you miss
Remember this
Worthwhile things cannot
Be bought or sold
The moon belongs
To everyone
The best things in life
Are free
The stars belong
To everyone
They gleam there
For you and me
The flowers in spring
The robins that sing
The sunbeams that shine
They're yours
They're mine
And love can come
To everyone
The best things in life
Are free
Gee, I've learned a lot
of things today.
La main, les yeux, la bouche.
- What does that mean in French?
- Embrasser.
Embrasser?
It's just as nice
in both languages, isn't it?
Gee, what a vocabulary I've got.
Wait'll I spring this on Pat.
That'll put a dent in her.
Why don't you just hit her over
the head with a hockey stick?
We'll review the use
of the French pronoun...
...for the benefit of those who
have come into the class late.
II, he or it.
Elle, she or it.
Il est, he is.
Elle est, she is.
Ils, "they," plural, masculine.
- Are you sure he's in this class?
- They'll be out any minute now.
Pooch, you gotta do something.
It's a downright case of French
schizophrenia if I ever saw one.
Oh. Well, don't worry.
I'll see that he gets rid of all this
bologna. Just leave it to Poochie.
Je t'aime.
- Je t'adore. Les yeux bleus...
- Good luck in the game tomorrow.
- The opening game!
- Oh, yeah.
- Tomorrow, remember?
- It's a cinch. It's in the bag.
Je t'aime.
It's in the bag, eh?
What's the matter?
You and your French course.
That's what. You're gonna flunk it.
Then where will our team be?
Aw, dry up, Poochie.
Je t'aime, je t'adore,
les yeux bleus.
What's that?
This is my French speech.
I'm springing it on a Sheba.
I get it. It's that McClellan dame.
Tommy, have you gone nuts?
Yes!
The boys don't understand a word
you're saying on the field.
They're waiting for the signals.
You give them the signals in French!
Sure. Quarante-et-un, dix-huit,
soixante-neuf, onze. Hup!
I can't help it, Poochie.
Language comes easy to me.
I've been in the class five days,
and I speak like a native.
- Not sure from where, but a native.
- Comes easy, huh?
You think your parlez-vous franais
will charm Crenshaw off the field?
I don't know, but it'll charm McClellan
into going to the prom with me.
Poochie, vamoose.
I gotta study my speech.
Hey, Tommy!
My chauffeur!
She's at Gimpeldinger's
having a soda with Van Dyne.
Keep the engine boiling.
I'll be right down.
Je t'adore, je t'aime.
Vous tes merveilleux.
- Pooch, can I drop you someplace?
- Yeah, over the nearest cliff.
Anything wrong?
Things are so wrong, we may
wind up using you on the team.
Well, what's wrong with that?
- Nothing, if you want to lose.
- Babe! Go away.
- Is that all you have to say?
- Leave me alone!
- How long have you been here?
- I hopped in by the soda shop.
I had an ice-cream cone and a glass
of milk. By now it's a malted.
I'm trying to say I love you!
I told you, I won't have
anything to do with you.
I value my life. I love life,
and I want to live.
Sure, I like you. If circumstances
were different, well...
...you and me, that might be
how I'd like it to be...
To be or not to be,
that is the question...
...where government of the people, for
the people, give me liberty or give...
- Oh, hello, Beef.
- Who are you talking to?
- Nobody. I'm practicing a speech.
- I thought I saw you with someone.
- With somebody?
- Yeah, Babe.
How silly. Just us two, just
jalopy and me and baby makes three.
- You sure she wasn't here?
- Posi-lutely, abso-tively.
- Turner, you don't like Babe, do you?
- Like her?
- Can't stand her, silly flapper.
- What do you mean, "silly flapper"?
She's great! She's the bee's knees,
the cat's meow and she loves you.
- What'd you say?
- I said, "Oh, yeah.
She loves you. Yes, sir! "
I'm glad you said that. Otherwise
I might've done this...
- My fender!
- You know I get upset over Babe!
I'm highly tense. When you keep
your inhibitions inside...
...they just break open!
I said, "Ow! " When you hurt
this car, it's hurting me.
When I lose control, I get
shaken up from bottom to top!
- You don't know how I suffer!
- Beef, not so loud. My car!
- Oh, is this your car?
- It was.
Sorry. When I get mad, I don't know
what I'm doing, like I'm hypnotized.
Oh, that's all right.
- Give me a lift to Gimpeldinger's?
- Sure. Hop in.
No, no, in front!
Bobby, better take better care
of your car. It's getting shabby.
No, no, in front!
All out for Gimpeldinger's!
Well, old place hasn't changed much.
Wonder if MclKinley's still president?
Bonjour, mesdames et messieurs.
J'ouvre la porte. Well!
Je ferme la porte.
Garon, un split de banane,
s'il vous plat.
Coming up, Tommy.
Mes enfants...
...le franais, c'est le langage
de I'amour et de la guerre.
I drink la most beautiful
femme dans la chambre.
Elle knows who elle is.
Mademoiselle...
Beat it, Marlowe.
Mademoiselle, I have composed
a speech just for you...
...in your own language.
Je t'aime, je t'adore.
Les mains blanches, les yeux bleus...
...les oreilles petites, les dents
comme les perles, la bouche rouge.
Mademoiselle, que vous tes belle.
Que vous tes dlicieuse.
Mon coeur s'ouvre ta voix.
Le jour de gloire est arriv.
Therefore, mademoiselle,
after the game...
...I'd be honored if you'd
accompany me to the prom.
Mr. Marlowe, you are a pain
in the neck in any language.
I'm going to the prom
with Mr. Van Dyne.
You may be able to memorize lines,
but you can't memorize good manners.
Okay, Miss McClellan.
Maybe it took a ton of bricks to fall
on me, but I guess I get the idea.
You win.
I won't take up any more
of your valuable time.
You keep treating Tommy like that
and he might lose the game for Tait.
I'm afraid Mr. Marlowe's career
doesn't interest me.
Watch this. I'll get her interested.
Leave Pat alone, kids.
Just because he's our hero, she
doesn't have to throw herself at him.
And I don't blame her.
After all, he'll be The Pickle King of
America after he's done with college.
- The what?
- Oh, didn't you know?
His father's the Marlowe Pickle Works.
How sordid. Pickles.
Yeah, 30 million dollars' worth.
Isn't it disgusting?
And still, poor Tommy has no one
to go to the dance with.
All that dough, most popular
guy in school, no date.
Maybe you're betting on
the wrong horse.
- Mind your own business.
- Temper, temper.
A medicine man I met
Said, "Don't get yourself in a sweat"
When things look gray
Just shrug and say
"It must have been something I 'et"'
"So don't get yourself
In a snit, " he said
Tuck your tantrums
Into your kit instead
"It's disarming to be charming"
Quoth the medicine man
Whom all agree, it's plain to see
Nobody could be wiser than
So if your temper's
Getting the top hand
All you have to do is just stop and
Pass that peace pipe and
Bury that hatchet
Like the Choctaws, Chickasaws,
Chattahoochees, Chippewas do
If you're feeling mad as a wet hen
Mad as you can possibly get, then
Pass that peace pipe and
Bury that tomahawk
Like those Chichimecs,
Cherokees, Chapultepecs too
When you're cranky
Try to use a little restraint
Fold that hanky
And wipe off all of that war paint
But if you wanna be an all-right guy
Not a long-face,
Blues-in-the-night guy
Write that apology and dispatch it
When you've quarreled
It's grand to patch it
Pass that peace pipe and
Bury that hatchet
Like the Choctaws, Chickasaws,
Chattahoochees, Chippewas
And those Chichimecs,
Cherokees, Chapultepecs
And those Chicutemis,
Chapechets and Chicapees
Chochos, Changos, Chattanoogas,
Cheecharows do
Chocho!
Chango!
Chattanooga, Chippewa!
Chow, chow!
Choo, choo!
Chichimec, Chapultepec!
If you use a little control
You'll be top man on the totem pole
- Professor Kennyon!
- Oh, Miss Lane.
I was going to see you. I corrected
the tests, I'll give them to you now.
Thank you. Yes, the elementary
class. That was a fast job.
- Oh, excuse me...
- Well!
Gee, Connie! It's good to see you.
Oh, excuse me, professor.
Watch your step in more ways than one.
I've got your first exam here.
How did our football star do?
- A perfect paper. 100 percent.
- I did?
I'm surprised. Don't get careless.
You've got to tow the mark with me.
Football and studies don't mix.
Good day.
He's a pleasant old cuss.
Well, I've got to go
to football practice.
Gee, I got a perfect paper.
You know why? It's all your work.
It's just a vocabulary test,
mostly words you taught me that day.
Yes, I know.
It isn't half as much fun
when Kennyon teaches it.
I never have the least
impulse to kiss him.
Speaking of your impulses,
how about Pat McClellan?
Are you making a dent on her
with your French?
Oh, here, I'll take these.
Guess I should have used
that hockey stick.
It doesn't matter anymore. I knew
it the second I bumped into you.
I don't care. I don't care
if I never see her again.
Will you go to the prom with me?
After she declined?
No, thanks.
But I'm glad she did, because
now I can ask you.
Play second fiddle? No, thanks.
Guess I don't blame you.
- Well, who are you going to ask now?
- Nobody.
I'm not going stag.
Guess I won't go at all.
Not go to the prom?
But that's silly! Lt'll
practically be in your honor.
I'll go if you'll go with me.
Well...
- All right.
- You will? Wonderful!
Eight o'clock.
I'm late for practice.
Good luck in the game.
Oh, they sure are blue.
Look at Connie.
Hi, Connie!
She's acting so strange.
Connie, hello!
Hello...
So I told her if that's what she...
Hello, Connie.
Miss Connie!
- The sink, it's acting up again.
- It is? How nice.
How do you like that?
- She must've gone crazy.
- Overwork.
She's having a breakdown,
poor kid. I gotta do something!
Connie, are you all right?
- Babe, guess what?
- What?
I'm going to the prom tomorrow.
So that's it.
Wonderful! Who are you going with?
- You'll never guess.
- Then you better tell me.
Oh, I know it seems impossible, but...
...he likes me.
- Who?
Tommy.
- Tommy Marlowe.
- Tommy!
Connie, I think I ought
to warn you. Pat...
Oh, Pat! He told me all about that.
- It's all over.
- Are you sure?
Oh, of course, I'm sure.
Don't spoil my fun, Babe.
- What should I wear?
- A suit of armor.
Just think, I'm going out
with a football hero.
Yay, Marlowe! Come on, Marlowe!
Touchdown!
Tommy! Tommy!
Oh, I was so thrilled! You made
a football fan out of me overnight.
Oh, Tommy, I was
so mistaken about you.
But today, when I saw you
on the field...
...I suddenly realized
that maybe I was so rude to you...
...because I really liked you.
But I didn't want to like you
as much as I could...
...if I really let myself.
Pat, this is crazy. It's wonderful!
I don't know what to say.
I know what to say.
Can I go with you to the prom tonight?
Can you? Oh, this is terrific!
Wait a minute.
What about Van Dyne?
He just doesn't matter.
Poor Peter, he's really so stuffy.
I should've known
the minute you saw me play a game.
This is wonderful.
It's the greatest day of my life!
I win the opening game and you
at the same time.
Mademoiselle...
...voulez-vous accompany moi
la prom ce soir?
Your French is beautiful.
Enchante, monsieur, enchante.
See you tonight, then.
Tonight.
Connais-tu le pays?
Connais-tu, connais-tu? Con...
Connie!
372-J, please.
So I said, "Herbert, if you think
I'm one of those red-hot mamas...
...you're very badly mistaken. "
372-J, please.
That's right.
I said, "You may think
you're a sheik...
...but your harem has to
do without me.
That is, unless you change your tune. "
372-J, please.
- Hey, Janet.
- Wait.
- Well, you certainly took long enough.
- It's all yours, June.
Georgia, look. I got an orchid!
- Look, Joe sent me an orchid.
- Oh, boy!
My, that powder!
- Those from Bill?
- Aren't they pretty?
Beautiful.
I said, "I don't think
the car's out of gas.
If you think I'm walking home,
you've got another guess coming.
I brought my roller skates.
And furthermore... "
Flo, for Pete's sakes! You've been
on that telephone for two hours.
Oh, well, goodbye, Sally.
Who's taking me to the dance?
Well, who do you think? Herbert!
- How do I look?
- You don't look like a librarian.
- I don't feel like one.
- Connie, telephone call for you.
Babe, I was working on
that step you were doing.
- I know it starts like this...
- No, you're all wrong.
You throw your hip out like this.
Then you do...
Oh, that's cute like that.
That's where that comes in.
Oh, I love that step.
Vamoose, Flo. See you later.
Okay, sure. See you later.
Don't tell me. I know.
He broke the date.
He's going with Pat.
Babe, I feel so awful.
Oh, Connie, don't cry. Please.
How could he do that?
Call up at the last minute?
He's horrible.
He's just so dumb.
He is not dumb.
He got 100 percent
on his first French exam.
It's all my fault. I sicced her onto
him. I had to open my big mouth!
Gee, Connie, I didn't know
you liked him.
Fine friend I turned out to be.
Oh, don't blame yourself.
He didn't have to change his mind
the minute she came running.
Not if he didn't want to.
I guess he wanted to.
Hey, Babe, you ready?
Connie, I'll stay here with you.
Oh, that's sweet,
but it wouldn't help either one of us.
Well, there must be a way
of fixing this. I'll try.
No, don't. Don't try to fix anything.
I don't want him anymore.
You have a good time.
Well, what'll you do?
Oh, I'll read my favorite book...
...Les Misrables.
Have fun.
Goodbye.
I thought I'd found my ideal man
I always knew he'd arrive
Though he's a true heart-appeal man
He doesn't know I'm alive
But I don't spend my time in grieving
I've learned the trick
Of make-believing
So if I can't have my real man
There's only one way to thrive
Just imagine
That he loves me dearly
Just imagine
That I'm his sincerely
I'm pretending
That he's sending
Love notes ending
"I love you"
Seems that he's there
As the day is closing
On his knees there
I hear him proposing
He's not present
Still it's pleasant
To just imagine
That it's true
Come on, hurry up.
Break it up.
We want to see if we have
a game here Saturday.
Marlowe, Marlowe.
"D" in English.
"D" in history.
"D" in physics.
"C" in biology.
He never got those marks before.
He hasn't been studying. McClellan is
leading him around by the nose.
- He just made it.
- Yeah? Where's the French marks?
They're not posted yet.
I passed everything.
Guess I'll play in the game Saturday.
You're a genius. All we have to do
is worry about Tommy.
Where is he?
Hey, Babe, you passed everything!
I did?
Bobby! Bobby! I told you
last night I'd pass.
Hey, did you see him last night?
Here comes Tommy.
Well, kids, here I is.
- Darling, it's "here I am. "
- It's only slang.
I don't like you
to speak badly.
Okay, darling. Hi, coach.
Hi, Poochie.
Hello, darling.
Well, do I play Saturday?
- Yeah, you passed everything.
- But...
- "But"?
- The French marks aren't up yet.
You're not gonna worry about that.
My best subject.
Saturday's my big day.
We'll mop up the field with Colton.
- I hope so.
- And don't forget.
Saturday's a big day
for another reason.
Don't you remember?
Oh, yeah, sure.
Well, shall we tell everybody?
Yes. Yes, why not?
Listen, everybody. Saturday,
after Tommy wins the big game...
Oh, you tell them, Tommy.
All I wanted to say, kids, was that...
...after the big game
with Colton Saturday...
...Pat and I are gonna announce
our engagement.
- Holy mackerel!
- What is it?
"F."
- They can't do this to me.
- Can't? They did.
Well, that's that.
"That's that"?
We've gotta do something.
You've gotta play that game Saturday.
I know. The dean!
Come in.
The dean and Professor Kennyon
have decided to give Marlowe...
...a re-examination in French
tomorrow afternoon.
How nice for him.
When can you start coaching him?
- Me?
- Sure.
Yes, you.
Marlowe says you're the best.
Tell Mr. Marlowe I thank him for
the compliment, but I'm too busy.
Tell him to ask Miss McClellan.
- She says...
- I don't want them to bother you.
Pat speaks French,
but she's not up on her grammar...
- Tell Mr. Marlowe, "Quel fromage. "
- What?
I don't care what you think
about Marlowe...
...but that game next Saturday
is a dead duck without him.
- I don't care whether he plays or not.
- You don't?
You'd lose the game for us?
You're building the foundations
of a lifetime guilt complex!
I know how you feel,
but you've no choice.
- It's for dear old Tait.
- You gotta do something.
All right, for dear old Tait.
Tell Mr. Marlowe I'll meet him
at the sorority house at 8:00.
In the kitchen.
Gee, thanks, Connie.
Now name the verbs that take
tre instead of avoir.
Aller, tomber, sortir...
...partir, venir...
I can't think of any more.
That's hardly the right attitude.
You have an exam to pass.
Yeah, I know.
Kennyon is devoting his time
to giving you this chance.
I'm giving up my time.
The least you can do is concentrate.
I keep thinking of
so many other things.
Connie, won't you even talk to me?
You were doing splendidly with those
verbs. Would you try them again?
The moon belongs
To everyone
The best things in life
Are free
The stars belong
To everyone
They gleam there
For you and me
The flowers in spring
The robins that sing
The sunbeams that shine
They're yours
They're mine
And love
Can come to everyone
The best things in life
Are free
The flowers in spring
The robins that sing
Let me say I'm sorry. You haven't
talked to me for two months.
There's nothing to talk about.
You'd better study,
because if you study, you'll play.
And if you play, you'll win.
When you win, you'll be engaged
to Pat. Isn't that what you want?
Yeah, sure.
That's what I want.
Finish that translation,
then we'll be through for the night.
The best things in life
The best things in life
La lune, c'est tout le monde
On n'a pas besoin d'argent
Le ciel, c'est I pour tout le monde
On n'a pas besoin d'argent
Les fleurs de printemps
Les oiseaux qui chantent
Ces belles choses sont tout
Pour moi
Pour vous
And love can come
To everyone
The best things in life
Are free
How am I doing?
Just a few little mistakes.
Mistakes.
I've made one after the other, starting
with breaking that date with you.
Oh, that was no mistake.
You got what you wanted.
Yeah, I guess so.
Gee, it's funny to think about
being engaged.
I wonder what it's like to be stuck
with one person for life.
If it were the right one, you
wouldn't see yourself as stuck.
I didn't exactly mean "stuck. "
I mean, well...
Do you ever think about yourself after
college, settled down and married?
Of course. I guess every girl has
a pretty good idea of what she wants.
What do you want?
Oh, I guess I'd like to have
a family to bring up...
...and be able to go to concerts
and theaters, balcony seats...
...and have people over to the house,
a nice little house.
A vine-covered cottage?
Or an apartment.
I guess the important thing is
finding the right fellow.
It sounds pretty dull to you,
doesn't it?
No, it sounds wonderful.
What do you want?
Well, I guess I...
Hello.
Just came in to see
how the lesson's going.
The patient will live.
I didn't know a French lesson
included singing love songs.
You were listening.
I heard Tommy's voice, and I naturally
thought he was singing for me.
I need hardly remind you
that we're practically engaged.
Making a play for a practically engaged
man is a very unladylike thing to do.
So is listening at keyholes.
Oh, don't worry, Pat.
Tommy will get all the answers right
because he loves you.
Even if he didn't, I wouldn't want him.
I wouldn't want him if he were
the last man here.
You picked the perfect mate
for yourself.
He's inconsiderate, vain, selfish,
and you can't believe a word he says.
And the same goes for you. You deserve
to be stuck with each other.
Congratulations!
I know you'll both be very happy.
I wonder where Connie is.
What's going on?
Well, do you want to correct it?
Oh, he passed, all right.
It's almost silly to look.
Well, we'll see.
- What is this? Some kind of a joke?
- What?
Listen to this.
"Name the French verbs that take tre. "
Answer: "Hit her over the head
with a hockey stick. "
What?
"Give the French word
for 10 objects in the room. "
Answer: "The best things
in life are free. "
Go ahead.
"Write an essay in French describing
your home. " He answered in English.
"A vine-covered apartment with people
on the balcony and 12 children. "
- Oh, that's wonderful!
- Wonderful?
- Professor, do you know what this means?
- I certainly do not.
- It means he loves me.
- What?
- He loves me.
- What are you talking about?
He knows French. He could've passed,
but he wanted to flunk. Don't you see?
No, I don't see.
He didn't pass so he couldn't play,
so he wouldn't be engaged to Pat.
He loves you so much he'd even
lose the game for the school?
And I love him too.
Just a minute, Connie.
You tell me this boy
really knows his French?
He knows it cold.
I've got to admire him.
He made a big sacrifice...
...giving up something that must mean
a good deal to him, winning that game.
It means a good deal
to the school too.
I know, but...
As you are aware, I'm not the school's
greatest football enthusiast...
...but under the circumstances...
...I think I ought to pass him.
- Pass him?
You'd feel guilty if he
didn't play in that game.
But if he wins, Pat's got him.
Work out your personal problems
without involving the whole school.
I'm afraid you'll have to find
some other way.
Well, I hate to say it,
but I guess you're right.
Well, I'll leave it up to you.
Shall I pass him?
- Hey, Connie!
- Did he pass?
- Come on.
- Let us know!
Here she comes now.
After carefully considering
Mr. Marlowe's...
...unusual examination paper...
...and being somewhat surprised...
...at the rather remarkable answers
to some of the questions...
...Professor Kennyon
has decided that...
Well, he's interested...
...and though he doesn't approve of
some of the phrasing used...
...he feels that Mr. Marlowe
has demonstrated...
...a real feeling for the language.
Well, what is it?
He passed.
Marlowe showed them
A thing or two
He's a ladies' man
He's a "wow"
With the parlez-vous
So Marlowe
Big man on the campus
Marlowe, it's all up to you
To come through!
Number 16, pass.
Hike.
What does that lug Marlowe think
he's doing? Playing tiddlywinks?
He sure isn't
trying very hard to win.
Trying to win?
He's the best man Colton has!
Isn't his little woman here
to spur him on to glory?
Pat's at the house
fixing her prom dress.
I suppose she figures
the game's in the bag.
Beef, are you hurt?
Take a breath.
- That hurt?
- A little.
- Doc, how bad is it?
- Can't tell until we take an x-ray.
Come over to the infirmary.
We'd better finish the game here.
- But I didn't...
- Take it easy. Save your strength.
We may need you
for the Maypole dance next spring.
You're all invited.
That's right, laugh.
Enjoy yourselves.
Popcorn! Cracker Jacks!
Champagne for everyone!
All right!
You thought I'd come in here and bawl
the living daylights out of you.
Scream. Rant! Lose my mind!
But nothing like that's gonna happen.
I'm perfectly calm.
I'm not gonna let
a little old football game upset me!
Take it easy.
I could tell you what you've
done wrong, but you know what you did.
Zubrowski, that end run.
Hepple! Hepple, where were you?
Sternsdorf, offside three times.
Fifteen yards!
Thompson.
Thompson, haven't you heard?
The forward pass has been legal
for 15 years.
Okay! What's the use?
Of course, I know the one thing
that's really wrong.
Marlowe, you're not playing at all.
If you'd get in there and play,
they'd all play with you.
- What's eating you, Tommy?
- Nothing. I'm all right.
"All right"?
You're so all right, you'll spend
the rest of the game on the bench.
That's final!
All right. Ha!
If you're all right, then I'm crazy.
I'll prove it to you.
Turner, come here.
Me, sir?
Our two best players are
out of the game.
So I thought it'd be an interesting
form of suicide to put you in.
Gee, that's great, coach.
I'll kill them. I'll kill them!
I'll tear them apart. I'll show them.
For dear old Tait, I'll do or die!
What spirit! Look at that.
There's inspiration for you.
New blood in the game. That good old
Tait spirit. And no one can beat it.
You won't let all those people down.
Not all those people out there!
Not all those little old ladies
who sweep up the stadium.
I mean...
That's it! Bobby!
Bobby, my boy.
Fellas, get up off your benches
and get in there and fight!
I wish I had a broken rib.
You shouldn't say that.
You still got a chance to win.
Win what? The game?
And Pat too. Don't you want to
announce your engagement to her?
Not when I'm in love with Connie.
Connie?!
Connie!
Beef! Here we are.
- You all right?
- I'll be x-rayed.
Down in front.
You can't just sit here.
Tommy's losing the game!
What can I do?
He said if he wins, he gets
the wrong girl because he loves you!
Aw, sit down!
You mean Tommy really loves Connie?
Yeah, and she's gotta
give him a pep talk.
But if I do, then I lose him forever.
Holy smoke! You mean it's true?
Then we gotta do something.
You love him. He loves you.
We gotta get rid of Pat.
Why did I ever tell her
Tommy was the Pickle King?
Pickle King?
Have you got your
brother-in-law's car?
- Sure. Have you seen it?
- No, but I'd love to.
- We're going.
- You gonna talk to Tommy?
I'm going to the house.
See you later.
- But my x-rays.
- Yes!
Faster.
I don't understand.
Oh, please, Beef,
I've got to concentrate.
There. You wait here, Beef.
If someone comes out before I do,
give her a lift.
- All right, but I don't understand.
- You will.
I'm glad you're back.
The sink...
Never mind that.
You've got to help me.
- Have you ever acted in a play?
- What?
I mean, have you ever
recited lines like...
...Sarah Bernhardt or Ethel Barrymore?
You know.
- You mean play-acting?
- Yes. Come on.
Wait a minute. I've written it all
down. Don't talk till you get there.
Oh, Cora! I'm so unhappy!
Oh, Cora, I had to come back
from the game.
I couldn't stand it anymore.
It's so awful.
We're winning!
Tommy is piling up
touchdown after touchdown.
And by tonight, he'll be engaged
to that awful Pat McClellan.
I hate her!
"Now, now, Miss Connie,
you better forget all about it.
He loves her and that's all
there is to it. "
"Oh, I can't stand it!
She's got him for life. "
"Does she love him? "
"Oh, I suppose she does.
After all, she stuck by him,
even through what just happened. "
"Through what just happened? "
"Haven't you heard?
Tommy's father, the Pickle King,
he's gone bankrupt. "
"Really? "
"Yes. A terrible cucumber blight
in Iowa.
He's a ruined man.
Tommy is penniless! "
"No! "
"Well, I guess Pat won't mind.
She'll be glad to scrimp and scrub
and save and sew...
...because she'll have him.
After all...
...when you have love,
money doesn't really matter.
Does it, Cora? "
"Does it, Cora? " I mean, I mean...
"She could clear 15...
...or 20 taking in washing. "
"Oh, but she has such pretty hands. "
"Oh, well, it's her problem now. "
"Poor child. Why don't you go back
to the game? "
"No, I can't watch anymore.
Beef drove me over. He's outside now.
He's been paying a lot of attention
to me ever since...
...Babe gave him back
his fraternity pin.
But I guess I love Tommy too much. "
"Beef is a very fine fellow, no. "
"Oh, a girl could do worse.
Just think, he's one of
the richest boys at Tait.
Dairy products, you know.
Worth millions!
Have you seen that new car of his? "
"Oh, my, it is a wow. Yes. "
"Just think. Such a catch...
...and completely unattached.
Maybe I'd better hold on to him
before someone else gets there. "
- Was it all right?
- Marvelous!
Gee, why must everyone
get literary in my car?
Please forgive me, Beef.
This is very important.
You will forgive me, won't you?
Gee, I'd forgive you anything.
Ready. Hike!
Hey, Tommy, I've got
something for you.
"Can't stand in the way of true love.
Make big sacrifice.
Give you up. Pat. "
Hey, Beef! This is it!
Hey! Thanks.
Coach! I'm all right now.
May I go in?
Marlowe, I can't figure it.
We got three minutes. Go ahead.
All right, 32 is our only chance.
Bobby, you know the play?
Okay, hike.
Tommy, we've been looking for you.
Where have you been?
Wait a minute. Wait.
Has anyone seen Connie?
I've gotta go.
So we're on the 40-yard line,
and I've got the ball.
So I turn around...
I got squatter's rights!
All right, break it up, girls.
Come here, woman, and kiss me.
Where's Beef?
I'm not afraid of him.
Hey, Beef! Are you looking?
Gee, I used to think I had
a mother fixation.
You're not a bit like her.
I like you better.
Beefy, you're a panic.
- Do you think he's here?
- Of course he is.
I can't understand why he didn't call.
He still thinks
that you don't like him.
After five minutes,
you'll be in each others' arms.
- Really?
- Check, please.
Oh, Van Dyne.
Would you take Miss Lane inside?
I left my pipe.
- I'd be delighted.
- Thank you, Peter.
You just look adorable tonight.
Why, Peter.
Van Dyne!
Who'd you expect her to come with,
Professor Kennyon?
I don't know what to expect.
I'm going home.
- Marlowe.
- Yes, sir?
- Where are you rushing off to?
- I'm going home.
- Isn't it a bit early?
- Yes, sir.
Don't leave so soon. I think there's
someone inside looking for you.
- Who?
- Connie Lane, to be exact.
She can't stand the sight of me.
So you're going home?
You're just leaving?
Slinking away like Napoleon
from Waterloo.
Did you speak to her?
You didn't even speak to her?
What's the matter with you?
You don't do this in football.
In a losing battle, you try harder!
Don't give up. How do you
know she doesn't love you?
What is it your coach says?
You've got to?
- Get in there...
- Yes! Get in there and fight.
Good luck.
Connie!
Connie?
Oh, it's you. I thought you'd left.
How'd you know?
Somebody told me.
Well, I almost left.
What stopped you?
Nothing stopped me, I'm leaving now.
Where are you going?
Where am I going? I'm going home!
Where do people generally go?
Home.
You staying?
Oh, yes. I'm having a lovely time.
Why don't you go back inside?
I like it out here.
I think it's utterly
delightful out here.
And besides, no one's gonna tell me
where to go! Why don't you go inside?
I'm leaving.
I don't have to go inside.
Then why don't you leave?
Because I love you!
That's a ridiculous thing to say.
Well, I said it.
- I'm glad.
- What?
I'm glad!
- Oh, you are?
- Yes.
In that case, I've got a lot
of things to say.
For instance?
Remember the day when you
gave me the French lesson?
There are a lot of things
you could teach me...
...and that's the way I want it to be.
You name it.
I'll do anything you say.
- Anything?
- Try me.
Down on your heels.
Down on my heels?
Up on your toes.
Up on my toes? What's that?
That's the way to do the Varsity Drag
We've always thought
Knowledge is naught
We should be taught
To dance
Right here at Tait
We're up-to-date
We teach a great
New dance
Don't think that I brag
I speak of the Drag
Why should a sheik
Learn how to speak
Latin and Greek
Badly?
Give him a neat
Motto complete
Say it with feet
Gladly
First lesson right now
You'll love it
And how you'll love it
Here is the Drag
See how it goes
Down on your heels
Up on your toes
That's the way to do the Varsity Drag
Hotter than hot
Newer than new
Meaner than mean
Bluer than blue
Gets as much applause
As waving the flag
You can pass many a class
Whether you're dumb or wise
If you all answer the call
When your professor cries
"Everybody, down on the heels
Up on the toes
Stay after school
Learn how it goes "
Everybody do the Varsity Drag
Here is the Drag
See how it goes
Down on your heels
Up on your toes
That's the way to do the Varsity Drag
Hotter than hot
Newer than new
Meaner than mean
Bluer than blue
Gets as much applause
As waving the flag
You can pass many a class
Whether you're dumb or wise
If you all answer the call
When your professor cries
"Down on your heels
Up on your toes
Stay after school
Learn how it goes "
Every
Everybody
Step right up and do
The Varsity Drag
The boy
Garon
Gets girl
La fille
That's good
C'est bon
The show fini
The moral to this tale is
Learn to parlez-vous
Send her a billet doux
Tell her
Her eyes are blue
They sure are blue!
Je vous adore
Means I love you
Come here to me
Good news!