Hard Boiled Sweets (2011) Movie Script
And I'm kicking myself, really.
'Cause when I was a nipper, I
didn't pay no attention at school.
Bollocks to all that.
Now I'm an old git, and I can't get
enough of reading and whatnot.
History's what I like best.
All those kings and queens
with their armies and wars.
I love all that stuff.
Being what is technically
known as a proper villain,
I can relate with them royalty.
'Cause what they
got up to, wars,
was just robbing
and killing and bullying.
Same as what I done.
Only difference, they did
it proper big scale.
Those crown-wearing bastards
saw everyone coming.
Got them all confused into
thinking they're legit.
Got them thinking
they're heroes
and worth writing books
about and everything.
And this is not me trying to
glorify the criminal game.
Gonads.
Try glorifying something that can
see you end up with your head
shoved down a toilet at my age.
Why do they
call you Jimmy The Gent?
It's not a compliment.
Well, Jimmy The Gent.
You've been a big cock in a
little ass for a long time now.
But that isnt
going to cut it no more.
You see, there's
a bigger cock in town.
A prize cock.
And that prize cock is me.
I want the money, Jimmy.
I'm going to give you
a week to get it.
Jermaine here's going to stick to you like
glue, 2417 to make sure you get it.
So don't disappoint me, yeah?
I won't, Leroy.
Good boy.
You know, if I was getting out,
you know what I'd do first?
You'd get drunk.
Can do that in here, can't I?
Nah.
I'd go and have
a nice cup of tea.
You can do that in here, too.
Can't. I can get a mug of tea.
It's not the same thing.
I'm talking about
a proper cup of tea.
With a saucer, served from a
teapot, with a bicky on the side.
Digestive or Rich Tea?
Honestly,
I could give a fuck,
just as long as it's there.
There's something so...
So fucking civilized about it.
Don't you agree?
Might drink it all posh.
Me little finger sticking
out and everything.
Oh, that's lovely, that is.
I'll have a cup
for you, how's that?
Yeah, you do that.
Remember something, will you?
What's that, Joyce?
Remember there are only three good
reasons to do anything in this world.
Women.
Money.
That's two reasons.
What's the third?
It'll come to you.
Just not in here.
The trouble is, I'm not
much of a thinker.
Think that might
take me too long.
The longer the better.
The longer the better, Johnny.
Six years,
four months,
two weeks,
three days,
18 hours,
36 minutes.
Give or take.
All I've got is the
clothes on my back
and a lifer's
riddle in my head.
What I probably need most
is a friend.
Yeah, well...
I was thinking
you might want a lift.
You want the truth I was
hoping to go for a walk.
Sorry, it wasn't meant
to sound like an offer.
You do your time,
then you can go straight.
That's what they try
and sell you anyway.
The truth is different.
You do your time.
Then you do your straight time.
There's no bars, no lockdown.
But you're not free.
It's fucked.
The whole car's fucked.
You want the truth, I doubt if it's
going to get us where we're going.
Where's that?
Looks like I'm doing my
straight time under a copper.
Shouldn't I be checking in
with my PO, detective?
Taken care of.
You like the seaside?
'Course you do,
everyone likes the seaside.
It's good to be beside, inn it?
Well, I'm pleased you're happy,
'cause that's
where we're going.
South end.
What a day out.
Have a relax.
Get your feet wet.
Soak up the sun.
Bring the kids.
They're going to love it.
The thing is, we're not
all here for a holiday.
Some of us are here
for the money.
Babe.
Morning, gorgeous.
Thought you might fancy
a spot of breakfast in bed.
Eddie, you are such a sweetie.
You know me.
There you go, breakfast
of champions right there.
How'd you do?
Okay, I think.
You think?
Yeah, no, I did fine.
Good.
Hmm.
You did real good, baby.
Daddy's very proud.
Come here.
You okay?
Yeah, just a bit sore.
Good nights will
do that to you.
But don't worry.
I'll kiss it better later.
You want a hotdog?
I don't know.
'Course you do.
Go on, order one.
And a milkshake My treat.
Thank you, Daddy.
Off you pop.
I'm going to bang on a tab.
Be back pronto.
The thing with whores,
and by whores, I mean
those who've got pimps.
I know about what I know.
I don't know nothing about girls
that work for themselves.
Most people don't know nothing,
think they're all
fucked up junkie sluts.
But that's not it.
That comes later.
The thing is, some people just can't
make a decision for themselves.
They don't want to.
Making a decision, it scares
the living shite out of them.
Simple things. What to wear,
where to live, what to eat.
They don't want the
fucking responsibility.
They'd give anything to hand
that over to someone else.
Why do girls still become nuns?
Exact same situation.
Except not all girls
is nun material.
Them girls need
someone like me.
A pimp.
'Cause a pimp will take care
of all your decisions, always.
Until the end of time.
Just like the church
will, if you let it.
And like for the nuns, a pimp's
price is exactly the same.
We take your soul, baby.
We take your soul.
Oi, B and H, can we
park here or what?
Piece of shit
on wheels like that?
I wouldn't park it
I'd dump it, pal.
Do yourself a favor, yeah?
I hate this time of year.
Fucking day trippers.
You know what I mean?
'Course you don't.
How could you?
You've never been somebody.
Not like me.
Shrewd Eddie
rambles, and I play along.
The obedient girlfriend,
the happy lover.
Thrilled by his every word,
honored that he chooses me
to bore with them.
Boss, car's ready when you are.
Come on then,
let's do the rounds.
Good day to make money.
I nod and smile
in all the right places.
I feed his ego.
Then I feed it some more.
And some more again, all the
time hoping he'll choke on it.
That's him. Shrewd Eddie.
He runs this town.
So you come down here,
you play on a slot machine,
you pick up a whore,
you buy some pills,
then you're helping
him get richer.
He gets 10% of everything
that happens here.
Everybody pays?
Yeah. Everyone pays.
Last fella who didn't went for a
swim off the end of the pier.
Only he didn't get very far.
Word is Eddie strapped him up
with some old car wheels
instead of armbands.
That's the rumor
doing the rounds anyway.
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Probably not.
What the fuck you
looking at, old school?
You.
You're a good-looking boy.
Do you know that?
Whatever, Nancy.
No, no, no, I like
girls me, don't worry.
What about you?
You got a girl?
I see.
You and Leroy. Right.
How does that work, if you
don't mind me asking?
Is one of you the bitch,
one the daddy?
Or do you take it
in turns and stuff?
What I just can't
get my head around is,
what is it about the taste of
semen you boys find so appealing?
I'm not gay, you get me?
I got a girl, no messing.
You keep this up and I'm a pop
you right here, you understand?
Oh, you ain't going to kill
me, Jermaine, come on.
Oh, yeah?
At least not till
I got all the money.
Maybe then you'll kill
me, but not before.
You do that, Leroy will
get the right hump.
No matter how
good-looking you are.
Just don't keep riding me,
for real.
I got a limit
and youse is
right there, inn it?
All right, Eddie.
All right, Dean.
How you doing?
Yeah, I'm all right.
Can't complain.
Get in here a minute.
Rest your feet up.
Phew!
You look well, Eddie.
Thanks, sweetheart, thanks.
Listen, I hate to be the
one to tell you, but...
Tell me what?
Honestly,
you're not looking too hot.
Is everything all right?
What is it?
You said I could come to you
if I had any problems?
Yeah, sure, that's
what I'm here for.
Yeah, well, I only tell you this
'cause it affects you, right?
Now, I know Gerry
knocks a little bit back
from what all of us
girls earn to you.
But the thing is, Eddie, he's taking
a liberty with the free samples.
Now I don't mind giving it,
hell, you know that.
But this is like two or three times
an afternoon. It's after work.
It's making me tired
for the paying customers.
And I'm not
the only one, neither.
Listen, babe.
You take a few days off,
get yourself rested.
You leave all this to me, yeah?
You're not going to tell him
it came from me, are you?
'Course not.
Don't worry about a thing.
Aw! Thanks, Eddie,
you're a diamond.
Do you want me to...
Nah, you're all right.
I'm fine.
I'm still a bit bloated from
lunch, to be honest with you.
Fair enough.
See you.
Gerry.
Eddie, Dean. Hey.
Hello.
It's been a good week.
Good.
So, how are you guys?
All right.
And how's Porsche?
Well, that's none of your fucking
business any more, is it, Gerry?
What the fuck?
You piss away my profits,
I'm going to piss on you.
You're too busy
banging the tarts.
They're too tired
to bang the punters.
It stops now. Understand?
And if I hear
so much as a whisper
you been taking it out
on the girls, I'll be back.
And I'll tie every one of these
weights to your prick, and I swear,
it's over the end of the
pier for you, fuckhead.
Sitting there, tasting your
own blood, I get to thinking,
"Why's Eddie really
in a pisser of a mood?"
Thinking.
Thinking makes me
realize that Eddie
got his money today,
same as always,
which means he don't really give
a spunk how I run my girls.
That is of zero concern to him.
Something is twisting Eddie's
tit, and not much does.
Not much except...
Miss me, baby girl?
You shouldn't be calling me.
Eddie wouldn't like it.
I loaned you to Eddie,
but you belong to me, Porsche.
I know that, Daddy.
I wanted to ring you to let
you know he's in a bad mood.
Don't want you getting
on his wrong side.
He's got a temper on
him, that old fart.
How do you know
he's in a bad mood, Daddy?
He just came by
in a stinky dinky funk.
Probably 'cause
the man is coming down.
He told you the man was coming?
No, you did, darling.
Oh, Daddy, you are so clever.
Yeah, that's right.
Clever for you, baby girl.
Now stay safe, remember
who loves you, yeah?
Okay, Daddy.
I love you, too.
Ciao.
He's like a drug.
A joint you share with
your mates or something.
Pass and toke.
Pass and toke.
I know it's wrong.
I know it's bad for me.
But it can make
me feel so good.
So good, I don't really
want to share it.
But I guess,
it's a shared joint.
And those are the rules.
So what am I going to do?
Honey, I'm home.
First time I met
Eddie, he was doing my mother.
Thing is, Eddie doesn't even remember this.
But it's true.
I'm four years old, he's big and
strong, and he's hurting her.
Eddie doesn't care.
Mum's been dead six years now.
I guess I've been
trying to figure out
the best way to screw
him over ever since.
What a day! It'll take a bonk
and a drink to clear me head.
Ah!
One down, one to go.
Lucky me.
It's all right.
I put a sleeping pill
in his G and T.
He'll be out cold
till morning now.
Just a pity they take an
hour to kick in, yeah?
Don't touch me.
Don't hate me.
I don't hate you.
How could I hate you?
This has just got to stop.
Eddie always says
I bruise too easily.
That's not funny.
You sure you want to...
I was reading a
magazine the other day.
I was getting my hair done.
Did you know
that when a woman's shagging
two fellas at the same time,
and she got both their
leftovers inside of her,
then those little
soldiers have a fight?
A fight?
Yeah.
Apparently it all
kicks off down there.
The two loads go at
it, to the death.
Till there's only
one man's left standing.
Fuck me.
I know.
Pretty romantic, yeah?
Yeah.
Dean?
What?
I want your spunk to kick the
living shit out of Eddie's.
Nice this, eh?
Yeah, it's well nice.
Proper princess time for you.
Thank you, Daddy.
You deserve it.
You sure?
Yeah.
Wish I had the money to treat
you like this all the time.
I'll earn it.
You'll see.
I know you will,
but I've been thinking.
There may be a way
of getting more, quicker.
How?
I got a plan, see?
Let's go through it
one more time, yeah?
What?
You're not fairing out
on me now, are you?
No.
Dean, I can't
carry on like this.
That money's just sitting there
waiting for us to take it.
I don't see why we can't just
take off, just the two of us.
Fuck the money Fuck the risk.
We've been through this
a thousand times.
We're both used
to Eddie's money now.
We can't live poor.
I won't live poor.
Now don't tell me you expect to
run away and work legit jobs?
Dean, we're never going to get
another chance like this.
It's a lot of money.
It's a fuck of a lot of money.
I'm guessing Eddie must have at least
Money like that
could go a long way
to helping out
a couple of amigos.
I'm thinking a nice even
split, 200 for me, 50 for you.
Anything over, I keep. Anything
under, that comes out your end.
Fair is fair and all that.
Normally, Eddie has 200,
maybe 250 max at his place.
But this weekend's
going to be different.
Different how?
This weekend,
the man is coming to town.
The man?
The gentleman.
Jimmy The Gent.
And if Jimmy's coming to town,
so is his briefcase.
That briefcase is
our holy grail, Dean.
Fuck Eddie's 250.
That's small change compared to
what The Gent will be carrying.
The briefcase could be a myth.
It's not a myth.
He keeps everything
in there, old school.
Don't trust no one with it.
He doesn't even spend none of it
if he doesn't have to, either.
That's why Eddie's always
so pissed at the guy.
Eddie really hates The Gent.
I mean Marmite hate.
But it doesn't matter
how much Eddie hates him.
He's still got to pony up the
cash and put on a good show.
Jimmy will insist on a big night
out with a girl thrown in.
A young girl, too, 'cause
that's how The Gent likes them.
And you're thinking that
young girl might be me?
Delta,
you're like a mind reader or something.
If we can get you
in with Jimmy,
we can get you
close to the money.
And we can, because Eddie will come
to me for The Gent's entertainment.
He always does.
That's all right.
So there's just Eddie, his
boy, and a girl up there?
Why? Who else
could there be?
Well, I don't know,
copper, you tell me.
Look, I'm not expecting you to
go charging in there tonight
on my say so, am I?
Well, that's very kind of you.
I'm not unreasonable.
Take a few days.
Stay here over the weekend.
Do your homework.
Get some sleep. I'll check
in with you tomorrow.
It's then I realize why
they get called "coppers".
Because copper is one metal
that is easily bent.
And once upon a time...
Well, that's a pisser.
Once upon a time,
I was a hell of a good copper.
Yeah, well.
That was then.
This is now.
Ha!
You taste like shit.
Sorry.
Never mind. I thought you
were never coming home.
I'm ready to go.
Let's do it.
Jenna, I've had a hell of day.
I don't think I'm up for it.
Freddie, you know
what Dr. Johnston said.
Just 'cause we've run out
money for the treatment,
doesn't mean we should give
up on the old-fashioned way.
Wanker!
Freddie.
The amount of money
we've already palmed him,
you think he'd give us
one of his own kids.
Frederico!
Please.
Take this seriously.
Now, remember what he said.
Yeah, I know
what he said, Jenna.
It's just I'm so tired
I'm knackered.
Don't you want babies,
Freddie? Is that it?
You know I do, beautiful.
It's not that.
Well, get to it, then.
Go on, Freddie.
Yep.
Goon.
Go on!
Yeah.
Think of the babies, Freddie.
Think of the lovely babies.
What?
The babies, Freddie. Think
of the babies we're making.
No, no, no.
Stop. No, no, no.
What?
Look.
You can't talk about babies
at a time like this.
What do you mean?
It's a little bit
of a mood killer.
But Dr. Johnston said
visualization is the key.
Honey, I don't give a shit
what Dr. Johnston said,
there is no way we're
going to get anywhere
if you start putting images of
little bald bastards in nappies
in my head at crucial moments.
Sorry, Freddie.
What you doing?
What's it look like I'm doing?
I'm finishing off the job.
No, I'm sorry, that's it.
What, but...
No buts, Jenna.
The flag's at half mast
and coming down fast.
Well, let's see if we can
raise it up again.
No, you've got more chance in
raising your mum.
You want me to talk
filthy dirty to you?
No. Look, I'm done,
that's it.
Well, that's just great.
Jenna, baby.
No, I'm not a baby. I want a baby.
Shame you don't.
I do. I do.
Where do you think
I've been all night?
How should I know?
Eating dog shit
by the taste of you.
I've been working on
getting the money we need
for Dr. Johnston's
next round of treatment.
Really?
Really.
You got the money?
Not yet, but I'm
going to get it soon.
How soon?
Really soon.
I love you.
You are going to have a baby.
No matter what it costs,
I promise you.
And you are going to be
the best mum in the world.
You get it?
How many more?
Dagenham's next.
Clacton's straight after.
Then we finish off
with a trip to South end.
We stay the night, get back
in town Saturday afternoon.
South ends the last one?
South ends the last one, yeah.
I fucking hate South end.
What a shithole.
Don't worry. I'll buy us
an ice cream on the pier.
So this girl of yours,
is she a bit of a looker?
Yeah. What you think?
I'm doing some
rank stuff or something?
Yeah, I bet she's a cracker.
Where is she?
Back in London town, isn't it?
Do you trust her?
What? What you saying?
Nothing, just...
Just what?
Well, you know.
A good-looking girl
on her own in the town,
I'd be worried somebody would
be trying to pick her up.
Only if it was me.
Bruv, ain't nobody
hitting on my girl, yeah.
Leroy see to that, you get me?
Leroy's looking after her?
Yeah.
Hmm.
What the fuck's
that supposed to mean?
Nothing.
Nah, fuck nothing. What?
You think Leroy's
going to try hit on my girl?
I didn't say that, did I?
I didn't say anything.
Nah, fuck you, old school.
Me and Leroy's be tight, yeah?
He doing me a favor
proper, you understand?
Sure, of course.
Good.
Tight-ass fucker. Jimmy The Gent?
Jimmy the fucking Jew.
You know, I'm going to give him
a quarter of a mill, cash,
and he still won't
buy me a fucking drink.
Fucking club!
Hello. Oh, hi, Eddie.
Yeah, sure,
he's in here somewhere.
It's Eddie for you.
You going to put some
make-up on or what?
It's a real turn-off,
darling.
Yeah, I was just going to.
Hey, Jackie.
What do you say to a tart
with two black eyes?
Nothing. 'Cause you
already told her twice.
That's a good one that, yeah?
Yeah.
Do I have to tell
you twice, Jackie?
No.
"No" what?
No, Daddy.
Good girl.
Eddie, what can I do for you?
Tomorrow night?
Yeah, of course.
How young exactly?
Eighteen, but what, she can look younger?
How much?
Good. Just don't
push it, yeah?
Nothing obvious, like a school
uniform or anything crap.
We did that last time,
he saw right through it.
Got the right hump all evening.
Which I do not need, yeah?
This fucking money.
It's eating me up.
Having to give it away, to him.
I'd rather give it
to a charity, you know.
I know.
Plus a girl. A young
girl Sick bastard.
Sick bastard.
God, I wish he'd die Slowly.
Why don't we just tie something to
his legs, throw him off the pier?
Job done.
Don't you know anything?
There's nothing I'd like more
than to throw him
the hell over the pier.
All I want is for him to die
a horrible fucking death.
Look, I tell you something, if he
died it'd be back to London for me.
They'd make me boss
'cause I'm next in line.
No one else has done
what I've done. Nobody.
What you thinking?
We hit his place now
while he's here?
Do you know how long
he's going to be here?
No.
Me neither.
Well, what then?
It's all about who you know.
I shared a cell
with Joyce Patton.
I stroll on over there,
drop Joyce's name.
Eddie has his little boy go
off to make a phone call,
see if what I'm saying is true.
He floats some questions
at me to see if I stumble.
And I don't stumble.
Boy comes back, gives the nod
about Joyce that gets me in.
Eddie buys me a drink, share
a laugh, jokes, some banter.
Some crikey villain banter.
Eventually he invites me back
to his house for more drinks.
It won't be tonight, it won't be
tomorrow, but eventually he will.
And then I'm inside.
And insider jobs are so much safer
than going into the unknown.
Aren't they, copper?
See, this is why
I hired a professional.
But I kill him,
how long's it going to be
before the whole gang is
down here looking for me?
It's not like it's a big fucking
secret that I hate the cocksucker.
What?
I got Alzheimer's
all of a sudden?
I invite you over and forget all about it?
Who the fuck are you?
A friend.
I got friends.
There's just not enough love left in
the world for any more, all right?
Now piss off.
You don't want me to do that.
No? Really?
Really.
Oi, bacon roll.
We're leaving.
Now.
Nice evening for it.
That's far enough.
What about the fairground?
Fuck them, we'll get a move on.
I'm not spending all evening
walking down the end.
Thought you could rip me off?
No, listen, please.
You've got it all wrong.
I don't know
what he told you, but...
Enough is what he told me.
It's a lie.
You've got to believe me.
Be a man. You tried
it on, got rumbled.
End of. Now you're going
for the long hard flush.
In the sewerage, right
where you belong, copper.
Oh, come on.
You can't want this?
We go back years.
The trouble is, I spent those
years inside a prison cell.
Didn't I, copper?
I've got a wife.
Then in the long run,
I'm doing you a favor.
Jenna! I'm sorry!
Oh, Jesus. Unbelievable.
What's with you?
Show some bollocks, man.
You got a backbone
made of knob cheese or what?
Oh, my God!
Shit. Boss?
Did you not
fucking check to see
if the fucking tide
was fucking in?
Check how, boss?
It's too fucking dark.
Jesus, nobody knows
what I have to put up with.
My back!
My back's gone!
Well, Dean,
you going to sort it or what?
We can only
get away with so much,
and this is right royally
taking the piss now.
Oh, my God!
I'm in pain!
My nose!
My fucking nose!
Shit.
Maybe I should get down there?
You think?
Dean, get down there
and clear this mess up.
Now here's the thing.
You've put me in a bit of a
situation, to tell you the truth.
How's that?
I mean, you've done me a big
favor, don't get me wrong.
But still, a man like me,
I can't have a fella
like you finding out
about my business
so quick and easy.
You understand?
You know,
I never understood it,
you know when people talk
about guns being phallic.
What a load of old tits.
I mean, what's phallic about that?
Nothing. To tell you the truth.
You want to see phallic?
This is phallic.
Or maybe I was just born lucky.
Boss?
You didn't have a clue
we were being followed.
Not an inkling.
Eddie...
The thing is, Dean, a cunt without
a hole is a useless cunt.
You just going to leave
the bodies here?
Fuck them.
Let the tide get them.
Showers upstairs,
third door on the left.
Take the bedroom next to it.
Thank you.
And get an early night.
Big day tomorrow, like
I was explaining you.
Nice one.
Who's the visitor?
A friend.
And what's a friend doing here?
Business.
What kind of business?
The none-of-your kind,
sweet cheeks.
And where's Dean?
Well, Dean was
acting kind of funny.
What do you mean, funny?
You know, I was thinking maybe it
was something he ate, you know.
What did he eat?
A bullet.
I need an early night. Come
up and help me relax proper.
Sure, Eddie.
Hi, this is Rhona.
Leave what you need and
I'll catch you later, yeah.
Bitch.
Everything okay?
Yeah, all good.
Sure you don't want anything?
What's the matter?
Lost your appetite?
Nah.
You call a mobile,
it rings once,
and then it goes
to voice-mail.
That's 'cause
the battery's dead, isn't it?
I thought if the battery was dead it
went straight to voice-mail, no rings.
One ring's ignore, isnt it?
Shit.
You don't know
anything for certain.
Leroy, man.
You don't know.
Sorry I said anything.
I really am.
I'm sure it's nothing. Why
don't you give him a call?
What, Leroy?
Yeah. Give Leroy a call.
I bet he's nowhere near her.
You reckon?
Only one way to find out.
It's me.
Don't say anything
they can hold you to.
You're not even warm.
I know where it is.
Where what is?
Let's not play games.
Well, why not?
You're the one holding the gun.
You can make all the rules.
I want the money, too.
But taking it
tonight is a mistake.
Why?
'Cause tomorrow
there'll be more.
Much more.
How much more?
I'm guessing 1.5.
Million?
Eddie's boss is coming to town.
He'll be loaded.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Me and Dean were
going to take it, but.
Dean's dead.
That's right.
Which leaves you.
How can I trust you?
How can I trust you?
You've got the gun.
How's that for trust?
You know, a guy once told me,
there's only three reasons
to do anything in this world.
Women and money.
That's only two reasons.
Yeah.
I haven't
figured out the third.
Any ideas?
But I can remind you why
reason number one is women.
And I thought you were a lady.
No, you didn't.
How about Eddie?
Please.
He's under a sleeping
pill I slipped him.
We could do it next to him
and he'd never know.
Seal the deal, yeah?
Whatever you want to call it
is fine by me.
Eddie likes to hit me.
Is that why you want
to take his money?
Who needs a reason
to want money?
I know it might sound
like an excuse, but...
It's been a while.
If it makes you feel more comfortable,
we can do it prison style.
So how you
going to do me, Jermaine?
Huh?
Oh, come on, we're
pals now, aren't we?
I'm a grown-up, Jermaine
I know the score.
Leroy's told you to make sure I get
all the dosh, then take care of me.
Leave me in some ditch,
deepest darkest Essex,
where no one will go looking.
Am I right?
It's not like that.
Don't insult my intelligence,
Jermaine, please?
Well, kind of, but not really.
I got to take you back
with all the money,
so Leroy can check
it's all there.
And then I do you.
What, he doesn't even
trust you with the dosh?
I don't know.
What I don't understand is why he's
the boss and you're number two.
It's a real mystery to me,
that one, I'm telling you.
What?
Well, you got the money,
it's right here.
You got the muscle. What's he got?
He's got nothing, nada.
And yet he's treating you
like his errand boy.
You're taking all the risks.
We get stopped with this dodgy
dosh, who takes the hit?
Not Leroy.
You get caught clipping
me, who takes the hit?
Not Leroy.
No, it's the Muppet sitting,
driving this car that cops it.
I ain't no Muppet, man.
Well, stop acting like
one, then, Jermaine.
I ain't. It's just, Leroy's
got the brains, isnt it?
Fuck brains.
It's overrated.
Shit, I can help you
with brains
if that's all you're
worried about, you know.
Look, just shut it, old school.
You're doing my head
right in, yeah?
For real, now.
Come on.
Let's get this done.
Hold on, I haven't
finished my breakfast yet.
Have it to go.
Jimmy The Gent.
Screwed Eddie.
Give me my money, Eddie.
So, you going to show me a
good time, Eddie, or what?
Yeah, 'course.
Treat me like a king, Eddie.
As though it was
my last night on Earth.
Of course.
Thought we might start off with
a few champagne cocktails.
Champagne cocktails?
With little umbrellas in them?
Olives on a stick?
Some polite nibbles, maybe?
Do I look like
a ponce to you, Eddie?
Take me to a proper
boozer, will you?
You got it nice
down here, Eddie, very nice.
No stress. Nice and easy.
An idiot could do
your job, am I right?
And you would never get a girl like
this in London, that's for sure.
Porsche?
Just a whore who got lucky.
She knows it, don't you, babe?
But every now and then I have to
put her in her place, don't I?
You've obviously
been brought up well.
Very nice.
Has she got any friends, Eddie?
I'm feeling a little jealous.
Your wish is my command, Jimmy.
You're lovely.
Come here, my dear.
What's your name, sweetie?
Delta.
What's yours?
Jimmy.
Jimmy The Gent.
Are you going to be
a gentleman with me?
'Course I am.
What's in your bag, sweetie?
I'm just a little girl.
And little girls like toys.
You okay, Jimmy?
I'm cracking, Delta.
Is that Viagra?
Yep.
Four?
It's going to be
a good night, sweetie.
Why don't you get me a fresh
drink to wash these down with?
Porsche, why don't you get
us all a round in, darling?
Sure, Eddie.
Here
Drop that in Jimmy's drink.
What is it?
Sleeping pill.
Really?
It's all right. I'm putting
one in Eddie's, too.
Jimmy's dropping four Viagras.
You want to walk straight
tomorrow, you'll give him that.
You sure you don't want to put
that briefcase in my safe?
No.
That stays with me.
You're the boss.
You're 1,000% right there, Eddie.
I'm the boss.
Me.
That's bad.
Not for much longer, yeah?
Okay.
Okay, let's do this.
Delta, gorgeous.
Yes, Jimmy?
- Again.
- What?
Shoot him again.
He's dead.
Please.
Good shooting.
Come here, darling.
She told me about your
plan this morning.
- My plan?
- Yeah.
She wanted me to
kill you straightaway,
but I told her, "Hold on, girl.
This Muppet could do us a favor".
I've been wanting this fuck dead
for years, I can't tell you.
That was her plan.
Pull the other one, kid.
She's lovely to look at, but she's
not Alfred Einstein, is she?
You know what I mean?
Babe, would you
do us the honors?
Sure, Eddie.
You ungrateful little shit.
You shoot my boss
just to steal his money?
I just worked out a riddle.
Porsche, get the briefcase,
put it in the safe.
And try and wake Delta up
and get her out of here.
Me and Jermaine will
sort out this mess.
Delta? Delta?
Come on.
Now's not the time
to lose it, girl.
We good?
You grab your toy bag
and get lost, yeah?
What we going to do?
We're going to dump these bodies.
Where?
The end of the pier, kid.
'Cause the end of the pier's the end
of the line for these poor fuckers.
Delta, open your bag, dump
the stuff on the floor.
Follow my lead.
You're a little late, stud.
Party's over.
I'm not here
for the party, girl.
I'm here for Jimmy The Gent.
Upstairs,
third door on the right.
Wear him out, did you?
Something like that.
It's buy one, get one
free at the moment,
so most guys end up
sleeping happy.
That Jimmy's?
I guess.
What's in the bag, girl?
Tricks of the trade.
It's for the old boys.
They've always got the horn, but
they can't always get it up.
Three, two, one.
Who the fuck are you? And what
you doing with my briefcase?
Your briefcase?
Yeah, my briefcase.
It is now.
Don't think so.
Jermaine?
You know this tosser?
Yeah.
Good. So now we can just
put our guns down, right?
Jermaine, you're pointing
your gun in the wrong face.
Yeah?
Fuck yeah.
You okay?
What's the matter?
You hit on my girl, Leroy?
What?
You heard me.
You think this is
the time or place?
Answer the question, isnt it?
Take your gun
out of my face, boy.
I ain't your boy.
Shit.
This hurts like a motherfucker.
How else did you think
it was going to be?
I just thought I'd get
my turn, that's all.
Like sex, bruv.
Orgasm always comes
too quick, isnt it?
Don't make me laugh.
Bruv?
Did you hit that?
Your girl?
Yeah.
A little bit.
A little bit?
Yeah. A little bit.
Bruv?
You were all right, old school.
Catch you
on the other side.
Sorry about the head butt.
It's fine.
No pain, no gain.
Did you get it?
Yes, Daddy.
Good girl.
Delta,
don't be jealous now.
We couldn't have done all
this without Porsche.
We need her.
Yeah, but we don't need you.
Delta's right, Gerry.
We don't need you,
but we do need your car.
We're happy to do you a deal.
For the car?
Yeah, Daddy, for the car.
Okay.
And just what do you
think it's worth?
I was thinking one used dildo.
That fair, you think?
Yeah.
It's a six-incher, so it's
a big improvement for you.
Plus, you'll be needing it.
Does it hurt?
What about when I do this?
You know, apparently,
there's only three reasons
to do anything in life.
Number one is women.
And number two is money.
What do you reckon
number three is, Delta?
Number three
is women with money.
'Cause when I was a nipper, I
didn't pay no attention at school.
Bollocks to all that.
Now I'm an old git, and I can't get
enough of reading and whatnot.
History's what I like best.
All those kings and queens
with their armies and wars.
I love all that stuff.
Being what is technically
known as a proper villain,
I can relate with them royalty.
'Cause what they
got up to, wars,
was just robbing
and killing and bullying.
Same as what I done.
Only difference, they did
it proper big scale.
Those crown-wearing bastards
saw everyone coming.
Got them all confused into
thinking they're legit.
Got them thinking
they're heroes
and worth writing books
about and everything.
And this is not me trying to
glorify the criminal game.
Gonads.
Try glorifying something that can
see you end up with your head
shoved down a toilet at my age.
Why do they
call you Jimmy The Gent?
It's not a compliment.
Well, Jimmy The Gent.
You've been a big cock in a
little ass for a long time now.
But that isnt
going to cut it no more.
You see, there's
a bigger cock in town.
A prize cock.
And that prize cock is me.
I want the money, Jimmy.
I'm going to give you
a week to get it.
Jermaine here's going to stick to you like
glue, 2417 to make sure you get it.
So don't disappoint me, yeah?
I won't, Leroy.
Good boy.
You know, if I was getting out,
you know what I'd do first?
You'd get drunk.
Can do that in here, can't I?
Nah.
I'd go and have
a nice cup of tea.
You can do that in here, too.
Can't. I can get a mug of tea.
It's not the same thing.
I'm talking about
a proper cup of tea.
With a saucer, served from a
teapot, with a bicky on the side.
Digestive or Rich Tea?
Honestly,
I could give a fuck,
just as long as it's there.
There's something so...
So fucking civilized about it.
Don't you agree?
Might drink it all posh.
Me little finger sticking
out and everything.
Oh, that's lovely, that is.
I'll have a cup
for you, how's that?
Yeah, you do that.
Remember something, will you?
What's that, Joyce?
Remember there are only three good
reasons to do anything in this world.
Women.
Money.
That's two reasons.
What's the third?
It'll come to you.
Just not in here.
The trouble is, I'm not
much of a thinker.
Think that might
take me too long.
The longer the better.
The longer the better, Johnny.
Six years,
four months,
two weeks,
three days,
18 hours,
36 minutes.
Give or take.
All I've got is the
clothes on my back
and a lifer's
riddle in my head.
What I probably need most
is a friend.
Yeah, well...
I was thinking
you might want a lift.
You want the truth I was
hoping to go for a walk.
Sorry, it wasn't meant
to sound like an offer.
You do your time,
then you can go straight.
That's what they try
and sell you anyway.
The truth is different.
You do your time.
Then you do your straight time.
There's no bars, no lockdown.
But you're not free.
It's fucked.
The whole car's fucked.
You want the truth, I doubt if it's
going to get us where we're going.
Where's that?
Looks like I'm doing my
straight time under a copper.
Shouldn't I be checking in
with my PO, detective?
Taken care of.
You like the seaside?
'Course you do,
everyone likes the seaside.
It's good to be beside, inn it?
Well, I'm pleased you're happy,
'cause that's
where we're going.
South end.
What a day out.
Have a relax.
Get your feet wet.
Soak up the sun.
Bring the kids.
They're going to love it.
The thing is, we're not
all here for a holiday.
Some of us are here
for the money.
Babe.
Morning, gorgeous.
Thought you might fancy
a spot of breakfast in bed.
Eddie, you are such a sweetie.
You know me.
There you go, breakfast
of champions right there.
How'd you do?
Okay, I think.
You think?
Yeah, no, I did fine.
Good.
Hmm.
You did real good, baby.
Daddy's very proud.
Come here.
You okay?
Yeah, just a bit sore.
Good nights will
do that to you.
But don't worry.
I'll kiss it better later.
You want a hotdog?
I don't know.
'Course you do.
Go on, order one.
And a milkshake My treat.
Thank you, Daddy.
Off you pop.
I'm going to bang on a tab.
Be back pronto.
The thing with whores,
and by whores, I mean
those who've got pimps.
I know about what I know.
I don't know nothing about girls
that work for themselves.
Most people don't know nothing,
think they're all
fucked up junkie sluts.
But that's not it.
That comes later.
The thing is, some people just can't
make a decision for themselves.
They don't want to.
Making a decision, it scares
the living shite out of them.
Simple things. What to wear,
where to live, what to eat.
They don't want the
fucking responsibility.
They'd give anything to hand
that over to someone else.
Why do girls still become nuns?
Exact same situation.
Except not all girls
is nun material.
Them girls need
someone like me.
A pimp.
'Cause a pimp will take care
of all your decisions, always.
Until the end of time.
Just like the church
will, if you let it.
And like for the nuns, a pimp's
price is exactly the same.
We take your soul, baby.
We take your soul.
Oi, B and H, can we
park here or what?
Piece of shit
on wheels like that?
I wouldn't park it
I'd dump it, pal.
Do yourself a favor, yeah?
I hate this time of year.
Fucking day trippers.
You know what I mean?
'Course you don't.
How could you?
You've never been somebody.
Not like me.
Shrewd Eddie
rambles, and I play along.
The obedient girlfriend,
the happy lover.
Thrilled by his every word,
honored that he chooses me
to bore with them.
Boss, car's ready when you are.
Come on then,
let's do the rounds.
Good day to make money.
I nod and smile
in all the right places.
I feed his ego.
Then I feed it some more.
And some more again, all the
time hoping he'll choke on it.
That's him. Shrewd Eddie.
He runs this town.
So you come down here,
you play on a slot machine,
you pick up a whore,
you buy some pills,
then you're helping
him get richer.
He gets 10% of everything
that happens here.
Everybody pays?
Yeah. Everyone pays.
Last fella who didn't went for a
swim off the end of the pier.
Only he didn't get very far.
Word is Eddie strapped him up
with some old car wheels
instead of armbands.
That's the rumor
doing the rounds anyway.
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Probably not.
What the fuck you
looking at, old school?
You.
You're a good-looking boy.
Do you know that?
Whatever, Nancy.
No, no, no, I like
girls me, don't worry.
What about you?
You got a girl?
I see.
You and Leroy. Right.
How does that work, if you
don't mind me asking?
Is one of you the bitch,
one the daddy?
Or do you take it
in turns and stuff?
What I just can't
get my head around is,
what is it about the taste of
semen you boys find so appealing?
I'm not gay, you get me?
I got a girl, no messing.
You keep this up and I'm a pop
you right here, you understand?
Oh, you ain't going to kill
me, Jermaine, come on.
Oh, yeah?
At least not till
I got all the money.
Maybe then you'll kill
me, but not before.
You do that, Leroy will
get the right hump.
No matter how
good-looking you are.
Just don't keep riding me,
for real.
I got a limit
and youse is
right there, inn it?
All right, Eddie.
All right, Dean.
How you doing?
Yeah, I'm all right.
Can't complain.
Get in here a minute.
Rest your feet up.
Phew!
You look well, Eddie.
Thanks, sweetheart, thanks.
Listen, I hate to be the
one to tell you, but...
Tell me what?
Honestly,
you're not looking too hot.
Is everything all right?
What is it?
You said I could come to you
if I had any problems?
Yeah, sure, that's
what I'm here for.
Yeah, well, I only tell you this
'cause it affects you, right?
Now, I know Gerry
knocks a little bit back
from what all of us
girls earn to you.
But the thing is, Eddie, he's taking
a liberty with the free samples.
Now I don't mind giving it,
hell, you know that.
But this is like two or three times
an afternoon. It's after work.
It's making me tired
for the paying customers.
And I'm not
the only one, neither.
Listen, babe.
You take a few days off,
get yourself rested.
You leave all this to me, yeah?
You're not going to tell him
it came from me, are you?
'Course not.
Don't worry about a thing.
Aw! Thanks, Eddie,
you're a diamond.
Do you want me to...
Nah, you're all right.
I'm fine.
I'm still a bit bloated from
lunch, to be honest with you.
Fair enough.
See you.
Gerry.
Eddie, Dean. Hey.
Hello.
It's been a good week.
Good.
So, how are you guys?
All right.
And how's Porsche?
Well, that's none of your fucking
business any more, is it, Gerry?
What the fuck?
You piss away my profits,
I'm going to piss on you.
You're too busy
banging the tarts.
They're too tired
to bang the punters.
It stops now. Understand?
And if I hear
so much as a whisper
you been taking it out
on the girls, I'll be back.
And I'll tie every one of these
weights to your prick, and I swear,
it's over the end of the
pier for you, fuckhead.
Sitting there, tasting your
own blood, I get to thinking,
"Why's Eddie really
in a pisser of a mood?"
Thinking.
Thinking makes me
realize that Eddie
got his money today,
same as always,
which means he don't really give
a spunk how I run my girls.
That is of zero concern to him.
Something is twisting Eddie's
tit, and not much does.
Not much except...
Miss me, baby girl?
You shouldn't be calling me.
Eddie wouldn't like it.
I loaned you to Eddie,
but you belong to me, Porsche.
I know that, Daddy.
I wanted to ring you to let
you know he's in a bad mood.
Don't want you getting
on his wrong side.
He's got a temper on
him, that old fart.
How do you know
he's in a bad mood, Daddy?
He just came by
in a stinky dinky funk.
Probably 'cause
the man is coming down.
He told you the man was coming?
No, you did, darling.
Oh, Daddy, you are so clever.
Yeah, that's right.
Clever for you, baby girl.
Now stay safe, remember
who loves you, yeah?
Okay, Daddy.
I love you, too.
Ciao.
He's like a drug.
A joint you share with
your mates or something.
Pass and toke.
Pass and toke.
I know it's wrong.
I know it's bad for me.
But it can make
me feel so good.
So good, I don't really
want to share it.
But I guess,
it's a shared joint.
And those are the rules.
So what am I going to do?
Honey, I'm home.
First time I met
Eddie, he was doing my mother.
Thing is, Eddie doesn't even remember this.
But it's true.
I'm four years old, he's big and
strong, and he's hurting her.
Eddie doesn't care.
Mum's been dead six years now.
I guess I've been
trying to figure out
the best way to screw
him over ever since.
What a day! It'll take a bonk
and a drink to clear me head.
Ah!
One down, one to go.
Lucky me.
It's all right.
I put a sleeping pill
in his G and T.
He'll be out cold
till morning now.
Just a pity they take an
hour to kick in, yeah?
Don't touch me.
Don't hate me.
I don't hate you.
How could I hate you?
This has just got to stop.
Eddie always says
I bruise too easily.
That's not funny.
You sure you want to...
I was reading a
magazine the other day.
I was getting my hair done.
Did you know
that when a woman's shagging
two fellas at the same time,
and she got both their
leftovers inside of her,
then those little
soldiers have a fight?
A fight?
Yeah.
Apparently it all
kicks off down there.
The two loads go at
it, to the death.
Till there's only
one man's left standing.
Fuck me.
I know.
Pretty romantic, yeah?
Yeah.
Dean?
What?
I want your spunk to kick the
living shit out of Eddie's.
Nice this, eh?
Yeah, it's well nice.
Proper princess time for you.
Thank you, Daddy.
You deserve it.
You sure?
Yeah.
Wish I had the money to treat
you like this all the time.
I'll earn it.
You'll see.
I know you will,
but I've been thinking.
There may be a way
of getting more, quicker.
How?
I got a plan, see?
Let's go through it
one more time, yeah?
What?
You're not fairing out
on me now, are you?
No.
Dean, I can't
carry on like this.
That money's just sitting there
waiting for us to take it.
I don't see why we can't just
take off, just the two of us.
Fuck the money Fuck the risk.
We've been through this
a thousand times.
We're both used
to Eddie's money now.
We can't live poor.
I won't live poor.
Now don't tell me you expect to
run away and work legit jobs?
Dean, we're never going to get
another chance like this.
It's a lot of money.
It's a fuck of a lot of money.
I'm guessing Eddie must have at least
Money like that
could go a long way
to helping out
a couple of amigos.
I'm thinking a nice even
split, 200 for me, 50 for you.
Anything over, I keep. Anything
under, that comes out your end.
Fair is fair and all that.
Normally, Eddie has 200,
maybe 250 max at his place.
But this weekend's
going to be different.
Different how?
This weekend,
the man is coming to town.
The man?
The gentleman.
Jimmy The Gent.
And if Jimmy's coming to town,
so is his briefcase.
That briefcase is
our holy grail, Dean.
Fuck Eddie's 250.
That's small change compared to
what The Gent will be carrying.
The briefcase could be a myth.
It's not a myth.
He keeps everything
in there, old school.
Don't trust no one with it.
He doesn't even spend none of it
if he doesn't have to, either.
That's why Eddie's always
so pissed at the guy.
Eddie really hates The Gent.
I mean Marmite hate.
But it doesn't matter
how much Eddie hates him.
He's still got to pony up the
cash and put on a good show.
Jimmy will insist on a big night
out with a girl thrown in.
A young girl, too, 'cause
that's how The Gent likes them.
And you're thinking that
young girl might be me?
Delta,
you're like a mind reader or something.
If we can get you
in with Jimmy,
we can get you
close to the money.
And we can, because Eddie will come
to me for The Gent's entertainment.
He always does.
That's all right.
So there's just Eddie, his
boy, and a girl up there?
Why? Who else
could there be?
Well, I don't know,
copper, you tell me.
Look, I'm not expecting you to
go charging in there tonight
on my say so, am I?
Well, that's very kind of you.
I'm not unreasonable.
Take a few days.
Stay here over the weekend.
Do your homework.
Get some sleep. I'll check
in with you tomorrow.
It's then I realize why
they get called "coppers".
Because copper is one metal
that is easily bent.
And once upon a time...
Well, that's a pisser.
Once upon a time,
I was a hell of a good copper.
Yeah, well.
That was then.
This is now.
Ha!
You taste like shit.
Sorry.
Never mind. I thought you
were never coming home.
I'm ready to go.
Let's do it.
Jenna, I've had a hell of day.
I don't think I'm up for it.
Freddie, you know
what Dr. Johnston said.
Just 'cause we've run out
money for the treatment,
doesn't mean we should give
up on the old-fashioned way.
Wanker!
Freddie.
The amount of money
we've already palmed him,
you think he'd give us
one of his own kids.
Frederico!
Please.
Take this seriously.
Now, remember what he said.
Yeah, I know
what he said, Jenna.
It's just I'm so tired
I'm knackered.
Don't you want babies,
Freddie? Is that it?
You know I do, beautiful.
It's not that.
Well, get to it, then.
Go on, Freddie.
Yep.
Goon.
Go on!
Yeah.
Think of the babies, Freddie.
Think of the lovely babies.
What?
The babies, Freddie. Think
of the babies we're making.
No, no, no.
Stop. No, no, no.
What?
Look.
You can't talk about babies
at a time like this.
What do you mean?
It's a little bit
of a mood killer.
But Dr. Johnston said
visualization is the key.
Honey, I don't give a shit
what Dr. Johnston said,
there is no way we're
going to get anywhere
if you start putting images of
little bald bastards in nappies
in my head at crucial moments.
Sorry, Freddie.
What you doing?
What's it look like I'm doing?
I'm finishing off the job.
No, I'm sorry, that's it.
What, but...
No buts, Jenna.
The flag's at half mast
and coming down fast.
Well, let's see if we can
raise it up again.
No, you've got more chance in
raising your mum.
You want me to talk
filthy dirty to you?
No. Look, I'm done,
that's it.
Well, that's just great.
Jenna, baby.
No, I'm not a baby. I want a baby.
Shame you don't.
I do. I do.
Where do you think
I've been all night?
How should I know?
Eating dog shit
by the taste of you.
I've been working on
getting the money we need
for Dr. Johnston's
next round of treatment.
Really?
Really.
You got the money?
Not yet, but I'm
going to get it soon.
How soon?
Really soon.
I love you.
You are going to have a baby.
No matter what it costs,
I promise you.
And you are going to be
the best mum in the world.
You get it?
How many more?
Dagenham's next.
Clacton's straight after.
Then we finish off
with a trip to South end.
We stay the night, get back
in town Saturday afternoon.
South ends the last one?
South ends the last one, yeah.
I fucking hate South end.
What a shithole.
Don't worry. I'll buy us
an ice cream on the pier.
So this girl of yours,
is she a bit of a looker?
Yeah. What you think?
I'm doing some
rank stuff or something?
Yeah, I bet she's a cracker.
Where is she?
Back in London town, isn't it?
Do you trust her?
What? What you saying?
Nothing, just...
Just what?
Well, you know.
A good-looking girl
on her own in the town,
I'd be worried somebody would
be trying to pick her up.
Only if it was me.
Bruv, ain't nobody
hitting on my girl, yeah.
Leroy see to that, you get me?
Leroy's looking after her?
Yeah.
Hmm.
What the fuck's
that supposed to mean?
Nothing.
Nah, fuck nothing. What?
You think Leroy's
going to try hit on my girl?
I didn't say that, did I?
I didn't say anything.
Nah, fuck you, old school.
Me and Leroy's be tight, yeah?
He doing me a favor
proper, you understand?
Sure, of course.
Good.
Tight-ass fucker. Jimmy The Gent?
Jimmy the fucking Jew.
You know, I'm going to give him
a quarter of a mill, cash,
and he still won't
buy me a fucking drink.
Fucking club!
Hello. Oh, hi, Eddie.
Yeah, sure,
he's in here somewhere.
It's Eddie for you.
You going to put some
make-up on or what?
It's a real turn-off,
darling.
Yeah, I was just going to.
Hey, Jackie.
What do you say to a tart
with two black eyes?
Nothing. 'Cause you
already told her twice.
That's a good one that, yeah?
Yeah.
Do I have to tell
you twice, Jackie?
No.
"No" what?
No, Daddy.
Good girl.
Eddie, what can I do for you?
Tomorrow night?
Yeah, of course.
How young exactly?
Eighteen, but what, she can look younger?
How much?
Good. Just don't
push it, yeah?
Nothing obvious, like a school
uniform or anything crap.
We did that last time,
he saw right through it.
Got the right hump all evening.
Which I do not need, yeah?
This fucking money.
It's eating me up.
Having to give it away, to him.
I'd rather give it
to a charity, you know.
I know.
Plus a girl. A young
girl Sick bastard.
Sick bastard.
God, I wish he'd die Slowly.
Why don't we just tie something to
his legs, throw him off the pier?
Job done.
Don't you know anything?
There's nothing I'd like more
than to throw him
the hell over the pier.
All I want is for him to die
a horrible fucking death.
Look, I tell you something, if he
died it'd be back to London for me.
They'd make me boss
'cause I'm next in line.
No one else has done
what I've done. Nobody.
What you thinking?
We hit his place now
while he's here?
Do you know how long
he's going to be here?
No.
Me neither.
Well, what then?
It's all about who you know.
I shared a cell
with Joyce Patton.
I stroll on over there,
drop Joyce's name.
Eddie has his little boy go
off to make a phone call,
see if what I'm saying is true.
He floats some questions
at me to see if I stumble.
And I don't stumble.
Boy comes back, gives the nod
about Joyce that gets me in.
Eddie buys me a drink, share
a laugh, jokes, some banter.
Some crikey villain banter.
Eventually he invites me back
to his house for more drinks.
It won't be tonight, it won't be
tomorrow, but eventually he will.
And then I'm inside.
And insider jobs are so much safer
than going into the unknown.
Aren't they, copper?
See, this is why
I hired a professional.
But I kill him,
how long's it going to be
before the whole gang is
down here looking for me?
It's not like it's a big fucking
secret that I hate the cocksucker.
What?
I got Alzheimer's
all of a sudden?
I invite you over and forget all about it?
Who the fuck are you?
A friend.
I got friends.
There's just not enough love left in
the world for any more, all right?
Now piss off.
You don't want me to do that.
No? Really?
Really.
Oi, bacon roll.
We're leaving.
Now.
Nice evening for it.
That's far enough.
What about the fairground?
Fuck them, we'll get a move on.
I'm not spending all evening
walking down the end.
Thought you could rip me off?
No, listen, please.
You've got it all wrong.
I don't know
what he told you, but...
Enough is what he told me.
It's a lie.
You've got to believe me.
Be a man. You tried
it on, got rumbled.
End of. Now you're going
for the long hard flush.
In the sewerage, right
where you belong, copper.
Oh, come on.
You can't want this?
We go back years.
The trouble is, I spent those
years inside a prison cell.
Didn't I, copper?
I've got a wife.
Then in the long run,
I'm doing you a favor.
Jenna! I'm sorry!
Oh, Jesus. Unbelievable.
What's with you?
Show some bollocks, man.
You got a backbone
made of knob cheese or what?
Oh, my God!
Shit. Boss?
Did you not
fucking check to see
if the fucking tide
was fucking in?
Check how, boss?
It's too fucking dark.
Jesus, nobody knows
what I have to put up with.
My back!
My back's gone!
Well, Dean,
you going to sort it or what?
We can only
get away with so much,
and this is right royally
taking the piss now.
Oh, my God!
I'm in pain!
My nose!
My fucking nose!
Shit.
Maybe I should get down there?
You think?
Dean, get down there
and clear this mess up.
Now here's the thing.
You've put me in a bit of a
situation, to tell you the truth.
How's that?
I mean, you've done me a big
favor, don't get me wrong.
But still, a man like me,
I can't have a fella
like you finding out
about my business
so quick and easy.
You understand?
You know,
I never understood it,
you know when people talk
about guns being phallic.
What a load of old tits.
I mean, what's phallic about that?
Nothing. To tell you the truth.
You want to see phallic?
This is phallic.
Or maybe I was just born lucky.
Boss?
You didn't have a clue
we were being followed.
Not an inkling.
Eddie...
The thing is, Dean, a cunt without
a hole is a useless cunt.
You just going to leave
the bodies here?
Fuck them.
Let the tide get them.
Showers upstairs,
third door on the left.
Take the bedroom next to it.
Thank you.
And get an early night.
Big day tomorrow, like
I was explaining you.
Nice one.
Who's the visitor?
A friend.
And what's a friend doing here?
Business.
What kind of business?
The none-of-your kind,
sweet cheeks.
And where's Dean?
Well, Dean was
acting kind of funny.
What do you mean, funny?
You know, I was thinking maybe it
was something he ate, you know.
What did he eat?
A bullet.
I need an early night. Come
up and help me relax proper.
Sure, Eddie.
Hi, this is Rhona.
Leave what you need and
I'll catch you later, yeah.
Bitch.
Everything okay?
Yeah, all good.
Sure you don't want anything?
What's the matter?
Lost your appetite?
Nah.
You call a mobile,
it rings once,
and then it goes
to voice-mail.
That's 'cause
the battery's dead, isn't it?
I thought if the battery was dead it
went straight to voice-mail, no rings.
One ring's ignore, isnt it?
Shit.
You don't know
anything for certain.
Leroy, man.
You don't know.
Sorry I said anything.
I really am.
I'm sure it's nothing. Why
don't you give him a call?
What, Leroy?
Yeah. Give Leroy a call.
I bet he's nowhere near her.
You reckon?
Only one way to find out.
It's me.
Don't say anything
they can hold you to.
You're not even warm.
I know where it is.
Where what is?
Let's not play games.
Well, why not?
You're the one holding the gun.
You can make all the rules.
I want the money, too.
But taking it
tonight is a mistake.
Why?
'Cause tomorrow
there'll be more.
Much more.
How much more?
I'm guessing 1.5.
Million?
Eddie's boss is coming to town.
He'll be loaded.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Me and Dean were
going to take it, but.
Dean's dead.
That's right.
Which leaves you.
How can I trust you?
How can I trust you?
You've got the gun.
How's that for trust?
You know, a guy once told me,
there's only three reasons
to do anything in this world.
Women and money.
That's only two reasons.
Yeah.
I haven't
figured out the third.
Any ideas?
But I can remind you why
reason number one is women.
And I thought you were a lady.
No, you didn't.
How about Eddie?
Please.
He's under a sleeping
pill I slipped him.
We could do it next to him
and he'd never know.
Seal the deal, yeah?
Whatever you want to call it
is fine by me.
Eddie likes to hit me.
Is that why you want
to take his money?
Who needs a reason
to want money?
I know it might sound
like an excuse, but...
It's been a while.
If it makes you feel more comfortable,
we can do it prison style.
So how you
going to do me, Jermaine?
Huh?
Oh, come on, we're
pals now, aren't we?
I'm a grown-up, Jermaine
I know the score.
Leroy's told you to make sure I get
all the dosh, then take care of me.
Leave me in some ditch,
deepest darkest Essex,
where no one will go looking.
Am I right?
It's not like that.
Don't insult my intelligence,
Jermaine, please?
Well, kind of, but not really.
I got to take you back
with all the money,
so Leroy can check
it's all there.
And then I do you.
What, he doesn't even
trust you with the dosh?
I don't know.
What I don't understand is why he's
the boss and you're number two.
It's a real mystery to me,
that one, I'm telling you.
What?
Well, you got the money,
it's right here.
You got the muscle. What's he got?
He's got nothing, nada.
And yet he's treating you
like his errand boy.
You're taking all the risks.
We get stopped with this dodgy
dosh, who takes the hit?
Not Leroy.
You get caught clipping
me, who takes the hit?
Not Leroy.
No, it's the Muppet sitting,
driving this car that cops it.
I ain't no Muppet, man.
Well, stop acting like
one, then, Jermaine.
I ain't. It's just, Leroy's
got the brains, isnt it?
Fuck brains.
It's overrated.
Shit, I can help you
with brains
if that's all you're
worried about, you know.
Look, just shut it, old school.
You're doing my head
right in, yeah?
For real, now.
Come on.
Let's get this done.
Hold on, I haven't
finished my breakfast yet.
Have it to go.
Jimmy The Gent.
Screwed Eddie.
Give me my money, Eddie.
So, you going to show me a
good time, Eddie, or what?
Yeah, 'course.
Treat me like a king, Eddie.
As though it was
my last night on Earth.
Of course.
Thought we might start off with
a few champagne cocktails.
Champagne cocktails?
With little umbrellas in them?
Olives on a stick?
Some polite nibbles, maybe?
Do I look like
a ponce to you, Eddie?
Take me to a proper
boozer, will you?
You got it nice
down here, Eddie, very nice.
No stress. Nice and easy.
An idiot could do
your job, am I right?
And you would never get a girl like
this in London, that's for sure.
Porsche?
Just a whore who got lucky.
She knows it, don't you, babe?
But every now and then I have to
put her in her place, don't I?
You've obviously
been brought up well.
Very nice.
Has she got any friends, Eddie?
I'm feeling a little jealous.
Your wish is my command, Jimmy.
You're lovely.
Come here, my dear.
What's your name, sweetie?
Delta.
What's yours?
Jimmy.
Jimmy The Gent.
Are you going to be
a gentleman with me?
'Course I am.
What's in your bag, sweetie?
I'm just a little girl.
And little girls like toys.
You okay, Jimmy?
I'm cracking, Delta.
Is that Viagra?
Yep.
Four?
It's going to be
a good night, sweetie.
Why don't you get me a fresh
drink to wash these down with?
Porsche, why don't you get
us all a round in, darling?
Sure, Eddie.
Here
Drop that in Jimmy's drink.
What is it?
Sleeping pill.
Really?
It's all right. I'm putting
one in Eddie's, too.
Jimmy's dropping four Viagras.
You want to walk straight
tomorrow, you'll give him that.
You sure you don't want to put
that briefcase in my safe?
No.
That stays with me.
You're the boss.
You're 1,000% right there, Eddie.
I'm the boss.
Me.
That's bad.
Not for much longer, yeah?
Okay.
Okay, let's do this.
Delta, gorgeous.
Yes, Jimmy?
- Again.
- What?
Shoot him again.
He's dead.
Please.
Good shooting.
Come here, darling.
She told me about your
plan this morning.
- My plan?
- Yeah.
She wanted me to
kill you straightaway,
but I told her, "Hold on, girl.
This Muppet could do us a favor".
I've been wanting this fuck dead
for years, I can't tell you.
That was her plan.
Pull the other one, kid.
She's lovely to look at, but she's
not Alfred Einstein, is she?
You know what I mean?
Babe, would you
do us the honors?
Sure, Eddie.
You ungrateful little shit.
You shoot my boss
just to steal his money?
I just worked out a riddle.
Porsche, get the briefcase,
put it in the safe.
And try and wake Delta up
and get her out of here.
Me and Jermaine will
sort out this mess.
Delta? Delta?
Come on.
Now's not the time
to lose it, girl.
We good?
You grab your toy bag
and get lost, yeah?
What we going to do?
We're going to dump these bodies.
Where?
The end of the pier, kid.
'Cause the end of the pier's the end
of the line for these poor fuckers.
Delta, open your bag, dump
the stuff on the floor.
Follow my lead.
You're a little late, stud.
Party's over.
I'm not here
for the party, girl.
I'm here for Jimmy The Gent.
Upstairs,
third door on the right.
Wear him out, did you?
Something like that.
It's buy one, get one
free at the moment,
so most guys end up
sleeping happy.
That Jimmy's?
I guess.
What's in the bag, girl?
Tricks of the trade.
It's for the old boys.
They've always got the horn, but
they can't always get it up.
Three, two, one.
Who the fuck are you? And what
you doing with my briefcase?
Your briefcase?
Yeah, my briefcase.
It is now.
Don't think so.
Jermaine?
You know this tosser?
Yeah.
Good. So now we can just
put our guns down, right?
Jermaine, you're pointing
your gun in the wrong face.
Yeah?
Fuck yeah.
You okay?
What's the matter?
You hit on my girl, Leroy?
What?
You heard me.
You think this is
the time or place?
Answer the question, isnt it?
Take your gun
out of my face, boy.
I ain't your boy.
Shit.
This hurts like a motherfucker.
How else did you think
it was going to be?
I just thought I'd get
my turn, that's all.
Like sex, bruv.
Orgasm always comes
too quick, isnt it?
Don't make me laugh.
Bruv?
Did you hit that?
Your girl?
Yeah.
A little bit.
A little bit?
Yeah. A little bit.
Bruv?
You were all right, old school.
Catch you
on the other side.
Sorry about the head butt.
It's fine.
No pain, no gain.
Did you get it?
Yes, Daddy.
Good girl.
Delta,
don't be jealous now.
We couldn't have done all
this without Porsche.
We need her.
Yeah, but we don't need you.
Delta's right, Gerry.
We don't need you,
but we do need your car.
We're happy to do you a deal.
For the car?
Yeah, Daddy, for the car.
Okay.
And just what do you
think it's worth?
I was thinking one used dildo.
That fair, you think?
Yeah.
It's a six-incher, so it's
a big improvement for you.
Plus, you'll be needing it.
Does it hurt?
What about when I do this?
You know, apparently,
there's only three reasons
to do anything in life.
Number one is women.
And number two is money.
What do you reckon
number three is, Delta?
Number three
is women with money.