Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter (2014) Movie Script

Good morning!
Good morning, ma'am.
Welcome to Minnesota.
Can I offer you some
free tourist information?
Good morning. Can I offer you
some free tourist information?
This is a state map.
If I can get it open...
- Now what did you say your name was?
- Oh, thank you.
I'm Robert. This here is Brad.
How do you do?
First off, by law, we have to tell you
that we're not associated with the airport
or the Minnesota Department
of Tourism in any way,
but the airport is kind enough
to lease out this space
so that we can offer assistance
to travelers such as yourself.
Uh... how to go Fargo?
- Fargo?
- Fargo.
Well... that's way up here.
It's actually on the border
in North Dakota.
And the way you get there
is you start here in Minneapolis...
and go right up 94.
Do you know how to get there?
It's okay to be lost.
That's why we're here.
I was lost once.
I was going down the wrong road.
A depraved individual,
much different than the man
you see in front of you today.
But somewhere through
that haze of debauchery,
I saw the light.
Now there's some other groups here
that will offer you guidance.
I know that there's some Methodists,
and you don't see them too often,
but the guys with the ponytail...
Oh... "Harry Kishner."
- Hare Krishnas.
- Believe it is.
All good-intentioned, but...
- and I'm not knocking any of them...
- How go to Fargo?
Attention, ladies and gentlemen.
We're about an hour and a half
away from our destination,
and as you can see,
we have a minor setback.
Unfortunately, we have a flat tire.
And my carpal tunnel prevents me
from addressing this problem,
so we're gonna have to wait for backup,
which hopefully will get here
in a timely fashion.
If nothing else,
we'll get you transferred
to another bus as soon as possible.
So in the meantime,
just feel free to get up
and stretch and whatnot.
Can I help you?
What are you doing?
Can you hear me?
Can I help?
This is my home.
It's okay.
We'll get you where you need to be.
I need to use the restroom
and take my pills.
Come on!
You can get all warmed up.
I can barely feel my toes.
I have cocoa.
It's a hot chocolate drink.
It is hot, so blow on it.
Thank you.
Are you an exchange student or...
a tourist?
Where's your home?
Where are you from?
Oh, Japan.
Wow, that's a long way.
My late husband was in the Korean War.
You ever been to Korea?
Where are you going?
Now that's very interesting.
I like crafts, too.
Only I do doilies.
I want to go Fargo.
- Say again?
- Fargo.
That's too cold.
That's no fun.
This is not the right time of year
to go sightseeing.
I mean, you should have really
picked someplace warm,
like Florida.
Did you ever read "Shogun"
by James Clavell?
The book, and there
was a miniseries, too.
It's a good one. It's about Japan.
I think I have a copy.
Paperback. I don't like hardbacks.
Paperbacks are much easier to manage.
Hardbacks are for show-offs.
No, I've been to Puerto Rico...
and Acapulco, Bahamas.
I've been to London.
Here it is. I knew I had it.
Household dust.
It's mostly just dead skin.
Do you have DVD player?
DVD? No, only VHS.
And Canada, I've been there
dozens of times.
And I went on a cruise once
with Charles.
We went up to Alaska.
We got to see neat whales and icebergs.
Oh, that was a fun trip.
Gets dark real early.
Why don't you stay here tonight?
I mean, your schedule
seems pretty flexible.
And I'll warm up some leftovers.
I have tuna casserole.
- Um...
- No bones about it.
We'll get up tomorrow
and I'll show you around.
It's no fun traveling alone anyway.
Solitude? It's just fancy loneliness.
This is my son Bobby's room.
He lives in California now.
Never comes to visit.
He's pretty ungrateful.
Tomorrow, you take me to Fargo?
You don't wanna go there, hon.
Trust me.
I'll take you to the Mall of America.
It's a lot more fun.
They have an indoor Ferris wheel
and a mirror maze.
Now, you get a good night's sleep
and help yourself
to whatever you'd like.
Except for the sticky buns.
They're for breakfast.
Good night.
Good morning. How can I help you?
Check out, please.
You want to check out?
What room number are you in?
What's your room number?
- Two. Zero.
- Two? Zero?
Here, let me check.
I have a note here.
Your credit card declined.
Your credit card did not go through.
You have a bad credit card.
Bad card.
This is business card.
This is your business card?
Did you want me to try one more time?
Nope, it declined again. It's bad.
So you might have to call
your credit card company
to check what's going on with it.
Or if you have another card
I will take it.
What you want to do?
I go get money.
Hey, hey, hey!
I didn't mean to turn on the siren.
I bumped it by accident.
I got a call about a lady
wandering around in a blanket.
Are you that lady?
Back there, that was Paul Bunyan
and Babe the Blue Ox.
It's an American folktale
or something like that.
Babe used to be anatomically correct,
but apparently some drunk guy went
and shot the statue's privates off
with a 12 gauge.
I want to go Fargo.
- Do what now?
- Fargo.
I want to go Fargo.
It's... it's a good ways away.
It's not close.
I discover that.
So... what is that?
Jesus Christ.
You're looking for the money
that was in this?
That's what you're looking for?
I discover treasure.
- Yeah.
- Right here.
- Well...
- It's mine.
Okay, well, you see...
this is not real.
It's just pretend.
Like, you know, like entertainment.
It's not real like a documentary or news
or a reality show, or something.
It's just...
it's just a normal movie.
You know, fake. Like a story.
No fake.
Yeah, fake.
No fake. It's...
And I know, I understand.
But a documentary is real,
and a normal movie is fake.
Not fake. Real.
This is a normal movie.
I discover treasure.
Right here.
Look, I...
Look, I want to help you.
I'm just trying to figure out how.
Hi, can I help you?
Hello, ma'am.
My name is Deputy Caldwell
with the Sheriff's Department.
- Okay.
- Not in this county,
- but that doesn't matter.
- Yes?
I'm here with this Japanese woman
who doesn't speak English
particularly well,
and so I was wondering
if you could possibly
translate a few things for us.
I'm Chinese. I don't know any Japanese.
- Not a...
- Not at all.
Don't you know just
at least a couple sentences?
Only Mandarin. That is it.
Very different.
Do you speak any Chinese?
No. Japanese.
How's your meal?
You know, I was...
I was thinking about
those maps you have.
I bet a standard highway map
would clarify things a little better.
You know?
I'm pretty sure I have one in the car.
So why don't you sit tight
here for a second?
And I'll go check.
I'll be back in a second.
I found it.
What's wrong?
You... you okay?
I'm sorry you're so upset.
I'm trying to think what to tell you.
I think if we didn't have
this cultural barrier between us
that we could understand
each other clearly
and this would all make
a lot more sense.
Hey, hey.
Believe me,
I know how important this is to you.
I've never been
to another country before.
I can only imagine how strange
and confusing everything must be.
Kumiko, I want you to know
that I'm going to help you, okay?
I wanna help you get what you need
and where you need to go.
You're not in this alone,
you understand?
I am here to help.
I understand.
I'm not alone.
You help me.
Let me know if there's
a particular style you're going for.
Because to be honest,
I really don't know
what's fashionable or not.
So let me know what you see.
If you find something you like,
I'm sure they'll let you
leave the blanket here.
Let's try this one.
It looks good.
Seems it's not too tight.
Where's your... right there?
That's where your toe is.
It should be fine.
What'd you do that for?
You said you help me.
Well, yeah, but not like that.
I'm just trying to do my job
and that's all.
You said you'd help me get treasure...
Well, no, you got me all wrong.
I mean, I have a wife and two kids,
I mean, I'm just trying to help you.
And the treasure's not real.
It's just a regular, normal movie,
and that's it.
It's fake, totally fake.
It's not fake!
Wait. Just... will you listen to me?
Let me help you here!
Oh, come on.
Stop! Stop!
Stop! Stop!