Newlyweeds (2013) Movie Script

I was having the weirdest dream.
For some reason,
Busta Rhymes was holding me
hostage at gunpoint.
And it was making me late
for our wedding rehearsal
in Queens.
We're getting married?
In the dream.
So, somehow, I managed to escape
and make it back
to my parents' house.
But then I realized
I didn't know
which shoes to wear.
So, I just grabbed a bunch.
And then I was running through
Prospect Park to get to Queens.
Prospect Park's in Brooklyn.
I know. But it's a dream.
You know, like,
it's dream logic or something.
I don't dream.
Shut up.
That's why I burn.
No, that's why you
don't remember your dreams.
So, you were running
through Prospect Park...
I was running.
And, uhh, and...
I don't speak Spanish. No
Look, can I have some
"D" batteries, please?
Can I have a bag?
Yo, let me get a couple coffees,
man, four sugar.
I'll be back.
Thank you.
Grilled chicken sandwich.
Lyle, you got to slam
the fucking door?
See what we got here.
Stereo and a couch.
Dude, this fucking eczema's
killing me.
You think you might roll
the window down?
Give me a second.
Maybe before you
fucking light it.
Can't do that and light it.
We're good. We're good.
We're good.
You put your fucking
jerk-off pants on today.
Always wear my jerk-off pants.
Come on,
I got a fucking piss test.
Can you roll it down
a little more?
Yo, you see this motherfucker?
Oh, shit.
Remember doing shit like that
when you were a kid?
Stealing 40s and shit.
Oh yeah, you don't drink.
You're, like, Muslim or
something, right?
I forget. What are you, like,
Five Percenter? Godbody?
I remember. You're a homo.
That's what.
Yeah, but at least my liver
don't look like
a fucking Dalmatian,
you nasty fuck.
Fucking Billy Blanks over here.
Your lungs got to be blacker
than your grandmother.
Except this is medicine,
Oh, you're a fucking doctor?
I am today.
You're a homo
Five Percenter doctor.
I know your liver's like
a fucking brick.
Don't take a doctor
to know that.
What are we looking for?
A stereo... stereo, couch.
You forgot the clipboard.
Stereo and a couch.
Yeah, you forgot the clipboard.
Let's go.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
How you doing, sir?
My name is... My name is Lyle.
I'm from Rent To Own.
This is my partner.
Look, we just came to see
about a stereo.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
My cat! My cat!
Let him get his cat.
Yo, let's check this.
Oh yeah.
Fucking stinks in here.
Hey, hey, slow down. Slow down.
Slow down. Slow down.
You're upsetting your cat.
You're upsetting your cat.
Sir, please.
This fucking--
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
What are you doing?
Every fucking Puerto Rican
motherfucker got one of these.
This for coconut?
to get fucking coconuts,
not to judge or nothing.
Let's get the couch
and get the fuck out of here.
No, no, no, no.
You got a receipt?
Where? Show me a receipt.
Yeah, where? By the machete?
Fuck you.
You ain't going by that closet.
You no pay, you no keep couch.
S, pay.
No, you no pay.
Every month, on time,
that's why we here.
We got to take this couch.
No, no, please, sir.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Be nice. It's a nice cat.
Oh, you love this cat?
Sir, come on, off the couch,
off the couch.
Okay? Okay?
I wasn't gonna do nothing
to his cat.
Let's just get
the fuck outta here.
Yo, what's next?
Yo, what the fuck are you doing?
That don't make no sense.
It says 175 Herkimer,
but that's all the way...
Oh, fuck. This is Park Ave.
We supposed to go to Park Place.
This is Park Ave. Yo, we took
the wrong guy's couch.
Where you going?
Nah, no fucking way.
I can't, my eczema.
Yo, you serious?
Yeah, bro. I fucking got
cat hair in my mouth.
Yo, that guy could barely walk.
Yo, it's not my problem.
Let's just circle the block.
It'll take, like, half an hour.
Nah. No fucking way, dude.
We're not getting paid
to move two couches.
We're getting paid to move one.
And it's back there, so...
Nah, nah, nah, nah. We can't do
this. This ain't right, yo.
Well, it's happening, man.
I hate to break it to you.
If you want,
you can hop out right now--
I'm not getting out.
We gon' turn
the motherfucker round
and go back
and take the couch back.
What, are you going to
tell Manny on me?
What are you going to tell her?
You got so high
you fucked up the address?
We had to spend the entire
afternoon playing Tetris
with some bodega drunk's
Fuck you, man.
Yeah, fuck you.
Learn how to read, asshole.
Fuck you.
Fuck me. Fuck me.
You did fuck me, you asshole,
except I don't give a fuck
about the couch.
No. We fucking him.
This is crazy.
Yeah, it is fucking crazy.
Maybe next time, you won't
get so high before work.
Blame all your fucking
problems on the smoking,
you fucking alky.
Yeah? I'm a fucking drinking
and driving right now, asshole?
Drunk your compassion right out
your asshole, you idiot.
I don't even know
what that means, bro.
You need to stop
smoking that shit.
You don't make
any kind of fucking sense.
You don't have
no fucking compassion.
four more fucking days anyway.
Who gives a shit?
That's fucked up, man.
Yeah, I know.
Yo, get out of here.
I'm serious.
You found this?
It was archaeology camp.
You go looking for fossils,
you're going to find fossils,
you know?
What is this?
That is a Balinese death mask.
"Death mask"?
Yeah, it's crazy, right?
This is crazy. Look at... Yo.
Where did you get it?
God, I miss travelling.
How do I look?
You look like death.
Check this out.
Cool, right?
Yeah, cool.
Now you look like
the queen of death.
Voodoo priestess.
When you come back
from a long trip,
you feel like...
like, more grown,
not, like, older,
but, like, more mature.
The time difference alone
changes our
whole body's chemistry.
And we all use, like, what,
like, 12% of our brain, right?
So, who's to say,
when we're in India,
we're not activating
the Indian part here?
Breathing in Indian air,
you're drinking like an Indian.
You're Indian. But you're you.
You know what I mean?
That's some Wu-Tang shit.
Got it dripping
like it's marble cake.
If you could live
anywhere in the world--
The Galapagos.
"The Galapagos"?
Mm-hmm, heard it in a song once.
So, when we leaving?
Have to save up first.
You got to get a job.
That's easy,
now that I have a reason.
I just hung up
the phone with you.
Hold your horses, dog.
I'll be there in hot one.
Man, dudes think I'm
the pizza guy or something.
You that dude.
What's up, my "G"?
Yo. You are who you know.
Hey, you know what?
What's that?
Let me get a extra half of that.
Like that?
Yo, Nina yo,
she smoke like a dude, dog.
All right, here you go.
Hold it down. How she doing?
She good, man. She working.
Okay, that's what's up.
All right, so now that
we all have our capes,
we can go through on the real
true magical adventure.
Are you guys ready?
Okay, but you have to put on
your super duper wizard walk.
And it goes
a little something like this.
Do you do
the wilderness tour as well?
Yeah, yeah, I do.
Oh, great. Well, I'd love to
take your card.
I'm actually bringing my
fifth-graders here on Friday.
And the kids
certainly loved you.
But you could just ask for me
by name. It's fine.
Okay, umm, well take care.
Thank you so much again.
Oh, guys, come on.
I love you, Miss Nina.
Bye, Miss Nina.
You smell like my dad.
Thank you again.
Come on, guys.
Excuse me. How you doing?
Excuse me. I have to go.
Why are you following me?
I know you, you know.
What you mean--?
Don't think
I don't know you.
I not stealing. I can buy and
sell you. I don't have to steal.
I don't even know what you
talking about right now.
What de ras
you following me for?
You're making a scene right now,
you crazy lady. Cool off.
That is bearshit
you're doing. Stop it.
What de ras you following me
for? That's my Frigidaire!
Hey, Miss, your cart.
So, what does this tattoo mean?
Oh, it's a pit bull.
It's my dog, you know,
with "Brooklyn" on it.
That one's my little
trouble monkey right...
Speaking of trouble...
Yo, come on, son,
what you doing?
What, bro?
I'm talking to my friend here.
You supposed to be
looking out for old ladies,
not young chicks.
I'm just talking to her.
She's, like, 12, yo.
I'm 16.
Yo, you gon' go to jail.
Nah, she's, like, 18.
I don't mean to be
disrespectful, miss.
But you got to get
the fuck out my seat.
This ain't no fucking school,
Yo, slow the fuck down.
Fuck are you?
Excuse me, please.
We're fucking working here,
some grown-ass man shit.
Excuse me.
"Excuse me"?
Yeah, you don't got to go
nowhere. Don't worry about it.
Is that...
Hey! Hey!
That is my Frigidaire!
Work with that, pussyclot!
Ah! You crazy bitch!
Yay, baby!
Your eyes are red.
What happened?
Long day...Hey Michelle
Yo, you want a Hector Bravo?
He doesn't drink.
I already told your ass,
you'd get your money tomorrow!
Oh, shit! It's Rent To Own!
Ah! Fuck! Cocksucker!
The fuck are you
doing down here?
Bring your black ass down!
Bring your black--
C'mon, baby! C'mon, baby!
The sofa!
Move your fat ass out the way.
Shoot this nigga!
I got something for you!
I got some news to tell you!
Come on, turkey!
I fuck-- Oh!
Fuck me!
Got something for you,
you fucker!
Work with that, pussyclot!
Yo! Yo, I'm-a get that bitch.
Yo, you want a...
What are you doing?
Karate in the mirror?
It's kung fu, yo, kung fu.
All right.
Oh, so what you got here?
Oh. Umm...
Two for Three
came through earlier.
So, I copped a little extra.
So, what's this, like,
your little personal thing?
What? No. No, that's...
We can share that.
That's... You can have
some of that if you want.
That's, like,
just in case we run out.
Yo, wait, Nina, Nina.
Where you going?
No, it's okay. Do your thing.
What? I just...
What you talking about?
I just wanted to
take a little...
I just wanted to unwind,
take a second, you know?
It's cool. Nobody's stopping
you. Just unwind.
I'm done. I'm done unwinding.
I'm unwound.
I want to hang out.
Can we hang out? We'll do that.
How are we supposed to
go to the Galapagos
if you're buying a bag
every two minutes?
I was looking it up.
So, if we fly to Quito,
it's, like, $500.
But we would have to backpack
through, like, South America--
You can't actually live there.
I... I thought we were
just, like, burning.
I mean, like, I thought it was,
like, weed talk, you know,
like, dreaming and smoking
and you know how we do.
You are so lame.
I was... Whoa, whoa.
I didn't mean that. I didn't
mean that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Yo, look.
Don't be mad at me right now.
Don't be mad at me. I'm wild
blazed, had a bad day at work.
I want to go somewhere.
I do. I do. Look. Look.
You got a box or something
somewhere? What's up?
Where the Galapagos box at? Hmm?
You're not funny.
I'm not... I'm not trying to be
funny. I'm being serious. Here.
Be my friend.
Be my friend, please.
I need a friend.
Everybody been all mean
to me today and stuff.
'Cause you're a jerk.
Come on. Yo, can I borrow
your one hitter?
No. Why?
Why do you need it for work?
Look, man.
Ah, shit, man, she saw me.
Gon' lock that B-Y-T, man,
I dare you.
Yeah. Man, can you believe
that shit there?
Spilled out the side of 'em
like a tip of a cigar.
Them some hard loving women,
man, hard loving women.
Mm-hmm. Shit, why you think
I got these cataracts?
Bitch put roots on me.
I ain't seen
out my left eye since.
Afternoon, sweetness.
Let me get that for you, baby.
Wit' your fine self.
Looking juicy today. Alright...
Shit, man. That's what I tried
to tell her, man.
Nah, ain't nothing slick
to a can of oil, baby.
Ain't nothing slick
to a can of oil.
Ma'am, my name is Chico.
I'm the Ethnic Artefacts Curator
here at the museum.
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Hi, yes, umm, hi.
I just have a question for you.
There's been
some suspicious activity
going on around here
at the museum.
And, uhh, I need your help.
Could you keep
an eye out for me?
if you see anything
remotely looking like this.
Is that...
Mongolian hash. Bam. What?
But how did you know that--
I know my people, okay?
What, you thought I was some
sort of official, didn't you?
You were walking all fast behind
me. I didn't know.
I'm wearing green pants.
How official is that? Come on.
Come on. Come on. Talk to me.
Talk to me. Talk to me, sister.
Nah, man,
I'm talking about Julius,
run the elevator
down at the "Y".
Yeah, man.
He got them
Shalamar tickets, man.
Oh, man.
You know Howard Hewett
done got off
that narcotic, right?
Yeah, Jody Watley
got her thing together too.
You know she had
that thyroid condition.
Hold that, please. Thank you.
Whoa. Where did you get this?
I did some whaling out in Canada
with some buddies of mine.
That's genuine walrus tusk.
You been to Canada?
No, I haven't.
Ah, it's amazing, big.
Everything's big:
caribou, glaciers, big.
Hey, hey. Do you have any grass?
It smokes better if you lay
the Mongolian on top.
I let my boyfriend borrow
my one-hitter.
I didn't bring anything with me.
Well, if it's cool with you,
the three of us can smoke.
We can just come back to your
place. And we'll smoke it up.
Yeah, that'd be cool.
Cool, all right.
I can meet your man.
What the ras are you doing?
You're not taking it.
Motherfucker, you're not
taking my Frigidaire.
You're not taking my Frigidaire!
I paid $15 every week
for over a year!
And that's more than twice
what the damn thing is worth!
We just doing our job.
I not take-- You're not taking
it. You're not taking--
It was infested. It infested me
whole Goddamn apartment.
You should have dealt with that.
Well, you should have paid--
It's blood money!
You yelling at me
ain't gon' help.
Help! Somebody help me!
Ah, shit. Let's get
the fuck out of here, man.
And you see them coming here
like that? You see that?
Come on, man. Stop that.
Excuse me.
I'll have my son come in here
with a cutlass
and mash you up, now.
He'll mash you up!
Is there no better thing
for you to do?
Come back with my Frigidaire.
Ah, full of tricks, this one.
Yeah, I get off probation
on Friday.
I'm going to smoke
my fucking tits off.
I'll smoke your
fucking tits off.
I'll smoke
your grandma's tits off...
Your cousin's tits...
Your whole family,
bunch of tits, like this.
They take my fucking Frigidaire!
Yo, go.
Go where?
Hold up!
Hey, hey, hey. Why you taking
my grandmother's fridge?
You see? He's a man. Talk. Talk.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Stop banging the car!
Okay, well, can we work out
a payment plan?
Look, I'll put some
on it right now.
You talk to me like I nothing.
Tell her cool out.
Let's see what we got here.
Can I see that?
You talking to me
like I was a dog.
Hey, hey, can I see that?
Talk to him!
Hold on, Grandma.
Can I see that?
They lying to you.
Come on now.
Don't disrespect me, man.
Oh, fuck him.
Look. I'll put some on it
right now.
Yo, she sprayed me in the eyes
with oven cleaner, man.
I didn't spray him!
Yo, keep her cool.
I'm sorry, bro.
Look. I'm just trying to
work this thing out, all right?
Let's just go.
Yo, just cool out, man.
We got to come back here.
$15 a week.
Yeah, I see ripping off
old ladies now, huh?
Go, go, go, go, go!
You ruined my sister's baby
shower, nigga! I'm-a kill you!
Ooh! Grandma, remember Niecy's
baby shower?
That's that nigger!
Oh my God!
That's him.
Hey. Hey, you all right, bro?
I hate this fucking job.
Ow, man!
That's why I was learning
kathakali. You know kathakali?
The head moves all...
Just running back to the hotel!
That's how it start--
Oh. Ni hao.
Oh my God. Baby, what happened?
Chico, this is
my boyfriend Lyle.
Chico works at
the museum with me.
Technically, I'm the
Ethnic Artefacts Curator.
So, I'm always travelling.
What happened?
I was just moving a refrigerator
and hit me, you know.
Let me get you some ice.
Isn't it awesome? Walrus tusk.
Tell him where you found it.
Mmm-mmm-mmm. No, it's boring.
He doesn't want to hear that.
Baby, try it.
No. Yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes.
Oh, this buddy of mine,
this little Inuit dude,
he was, like, 4' tall.
He wrestles an elk.
It's cash.
Oh, wait. Hold on one second.
Fuck me. I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
It's all right, man.
Thanks though.
No problem, buddy.
Let me get something.
Sorry about that.
Yo, I'm-a go ahead
and twist something up.
Okay, all right.
Oh, shit. You know what?
You're an artist.
Look at that, man. You've turned
into, like, this Aztec print.
Look at that.
I could rock this out.
Yo. Two for Three. Leave it.
Hey, hey, man. It's me, Lyle.
Give me a call
when you get this.
A bear. We were so out
of Juno Alaska that night.
We were so out of Alaska.
The planetarium is having
its Spring Equinox Festival
this Friday.
I've got some extra passes
if you and, uhh,
the African Prince--
Excuse me.
What happened?
Please don't... Just, please.
Why don't you just
call Two for Three?
What you think I just did?
Oh, oh. Now you want to call?
Why you ain't call him when
you finished the fucking bag?
It was almost 1/8 in there
this morning, Nina!
Okay, we can get some more.
"What about the Galapagos?"
"How are we gon' get
to the Galapagos?"
I don't want to go anywhere
with you anymore anyway.
Yeah, whatever.
Hey, Nina. I'm so sorry.
I've got to go.
I've got a dinner thing with
some friends from Kazakhstan.
So, uhh--
Do you have any more hash?
Uhh, no. But I do have some
tobacco. You could mix it in--
Yo, you get the fuck
out of here, man!
I'm sorry. Everything cool?
All right, I'll be--
I'm sorry.
I ain't thinking about
that nigga.
I'm sorry.
You handle your business now.
I'll see you at work, all right?
Nice to meet you, Lyle.
Yo, get the fuck out!
Are you crazy? I work with him.
Yeah? Fuck you getting high
with him for then?
What's wrong with you?
Can you just please talk to me
and tell me what happened?
Yo, yo, big man. What's goody?
What's goody?
Yo, let me get a dub, homie.
All right, let me just get
two dimes then.
Yo, son, you don't remember me,
I used to cop from Scooby back
in the day, yo. Remember Scooby?
Yo, I ain't no fucking cop.
I'm just trying to get high,
I know you can understand that,
I'm high off life, Officer.
Wow. Yo.
Stay in school, shortie.
Eat a dick.
All right, good evening, ladies.
Have a bless night.
Hail Selassie, Jah.
That's your daughter?
Well, I'm your son.
I love woman, yes.
Yo, you got that?
Ya' can't see I'm
Move your bumbaclot from me,
boss man!
Whoa. I got cash. I got cash.
Ya' can't see I'm talking
to someone?
I just want to get a dub.
Now listen. Ya' can't see
I'm talking to someone else?
You right.
Move your pussyclot
from front me, boss man.
All right, all right,
all right.
You gon' have real problem
tonight. You get cuff up.
Some salt and vinegar. Word.
Yo, yo, throw some pickle
horseradish on that too, man.
Know what I'm saying?
Yo, and an egg,
throw an egg on my shit, man.
Let me get a--
Three Backwoods.
Yo, don't forget
that spice ham, huh?
Not here.
Across the street.
Meet me on Sumner.
I'm not going to keep
calling you. And you know what?
When you get here,
I'm not going to be here either.
Like, I'm so over this.
What you need?
Yo, let me get a dub, yo.
Stay here.
Yo, I don't know about that, yo.
Aight, aight, aight, man.
I love you, dog.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Fuck is wrong with you? What the
fuck is that? I wanted weed.
Oh, you wanted weed?
Yes, I want weed.
What you think?
I look like
a fucking crackhead to you?
No disrespect, papi, but your
lips is white and ashy.
That's doughnut powder, son.
You got some real crackhead
shit about you, you know?
Some real crack shit.
I was saying
"Who's that crack ninja
Man, yo, whatever, man. You got
weed? Let me get weed, man.
Not for sale, papi. Sorry.
Yo, come on, son. I'll pay you
twice what you pay for it, man!
Got to get high, bro.
My $20, my $20. Yo! My $20!
Yo, shut up!
My $20!
Yo, yo, come here.
Yo, come here, son!
No refund, buddy.
Yo, fuck you! Come here!
Give me the fucking money!
Give me the fucking money!
Hey! Hey!
Got him.
Sumner Avenue, black male.
Ha ha! Stupid!
Hey, I'm online over there.
Yo, you, fancy.
Yo, you with the
Puerto Rican fence climbers
on your feet, man,
you got a quarter?
Yeah, them, man.
They use them to climb
the frigging fence, man.
Come on, man. Give me a quarter.
That's right. Give me back
my space on line.
You gon' be slipping all around,
slipping and sliding and shit.
I mean, there's somebody
in my cell that... that I know,
that's, like,
know my dad or something.
Well, yeah. But your dad
is not going to be there.
You gon' let everybody in there
know that you, like,
this momma's boy
or this daddy's boy?
How long you think
they gon' leave me up there?
Now, this your first time,
I'd say about a year.
What? You used a Taser, my dude.
That's attempted murder.
But I ain't even use it.
I just showed it to him.
Well, shit, intent is 3/4 of
the law. Everybody knows what.
Nah, yo.
Yeah, yo.
Nah, yo. Nah.
You see that
little nigger's face?
It don't get
no better than that.
Hey, man. You got entertain
yourself somehow, right?
What you doing up in here, Lyle?
Fuck! No.
I'm sorry.
I thought you were Lyle.
Yeah, he was trying to get
in contact with you earlier
to cop something but...
All right, thanks.
Hey, yeah, it's me again.
You still delivering?
How much?
Yeah, just hold on.
Yeah, come through. Okay.
Hell no.
I don't mind using
the whole bag, you know?
Just replace the shit.
You know what I'm saying?
Hell yeah.
See, bitches are good for that.
They'll leave a little piece of
toilet paper on the roll,
knowing damn well you can't wipe
your ass with that little piece
of toilet paper.
Exactly, exactly.
Then they got
the nerve to tell you
to throw some tobacco in there,
like you a white boy.
You know what I'm saying?
He a cracker, right?
'Cause cracker's love them
some weed and tobacco,
make it all spicy and shit.
I can't fuck with that
spicy weed.
I hope she jump out the window
and kill herself. I really do.
'Cause, see, you like me, Lyle.
You a good dude.
And broads out there nowadays--
They like to take advantage of
that. You know what I'm saying?
What's his name?
Oh, shit, she probably fucking
Chico, he got a name like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what, man?
I just remembered. I got to...
I got to, umm... Oh, the phone.
I got to... I'm supposed to
make a call, like, a while ago,
when I first got here.
But I, you know, it was a line.
I'm gon' use...
Yeah, excuse me, man.
I'll talk to you.
How that go?
I don't know.
Hey, faggot.
No, not you, man.
Hey, yo, faggot.
Why don't you get off the phone?
You been on that shit for, like,
20 minutes.
My man here needs to use the jack.
I got to go.
Yeah, some bitch-ass nigga.
I'm-a call you when I get out.
Come on.
What? You want to get on some?
Why don't you bring that tight ass in?
Okay, bye.
Put it on my bologna pony.
Yo! Hey!
Whoa! Whoa!
Now nobody gets to use
the motherfucking phone!
What, you can't take no damn...
I was just teasing.
Goddamn. Why you got to
be like that? Shit.
I just wanted... Aww.
Fucking people nowadays... Shit.
Hey, baby,
where you get them boots?
You like salt, baby?
I got some salted
man meat for you.
Freaky streaky. Streaky freaky.
Psst. Psst.
I was saying
"My buddy's going to get there.
Let's just get the lap dance
started already. Let's go."
And I'm getting the coke.
And, I mean, it's, like...
Yo, man, shut the fuck up.
Psst. Hey, man. Yo.
Come on, man.
I got that thang-thang
you looking for.
Check this shit out.
Man, I don't--
I don't want that.
This be burgundy haze, man.
I don't care, man.
Smell it.
Nah, really, man, stop.
I'm good. I'm all right.
I'm going to need
ten bones for this.
Yeah, man.
No, I know. But... It's going to
cost you ten bones.
I don't want it.
I'll tell you what though.
Calm down.
$8, $8.
No, just leave me alone.
I'm just going to need eight.
No, man. Look. Here, here.
All right, here.
There's $5, man.
Yeah, just leave me alone,
please, man.
Take the shit.
I don't want that.
All right, all right.
Motherfuckers nowadays
don't appreciate shit.
I do appreciate it.
Thank you.
Make it rain up in here.
Excuse me.
Can we get some water in here?
Ask your arresting officer.
It's not for me.
There's a sick man in here.
You ain't hear him
over here coughing?
Jesus Christ.
What is $5 going to get me?
Thank you.
Let me just get a little kiss.
Come on, baby. Let me play with
them gristles a little bit.
I can't get shit?
Yo. I got locked up last night.
It's a long story.
Stay right here. Let me just...
Let me just get
my shit together, please.
Yo, where you going?
Get out of my way!
And you didn't answer
any of my phone calls!
Yo, you need to calm down.
I don't want to talk
to you anymore! I'm out!
Yo, you need to talk to me.
You gon' walk
out there like that?
No, that's fucked up.
What are you talking about?
It's fucked up that I been
calling you all night!
And you haven't answered
any of my phone calls!
You listen to me--
I don't want to talk to you.
Yo, let me just--
Let me make it better.
You can't make it better, Lyle.
Why you screaming at me?
You can't make it better.
You didn't miss me?
You didn't miss me?
I was in jail last night.
You didn't miss me?
You lying.
Don't fucking lie to me.
You didn't miss me?
Look. I'm sorry. All right?
I saw you sitting there
with that dude. And I flipped.
What are you talking about?
Yo, you...
You could be with anybody in
the world you want to be with.
You're beautiful.
You done travelled the world.
You could have
travelled the world, Lyle.
Hey, I still want to, yo.
I still want to.
Like, but, yo, if you leave,
like how...
You know?
Yo, you just...
You can't, please.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I love you.
Mommy, here!
Nina! Nina!
I'm sorry. I'm in a hurry.
Hey, hey, hey. You don't have to
feel embarrassed.
What are you...
What are you talking about?
There's no reason to be
embarrassed about last night.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Well, okay, I know.
I know it's none of my business.
But I just wanted to
let you know that
my ex-wife had a drug problem.
So, I understand.
But, okay, all right,
no judgement.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said anything.
But, umm,
I just wanted to let you know
that if you needed an ear,
I'm here.
What's all this?
I wanted to do
something different.
Change can be good, you know?
Hey, where's that bag at?
What bag?
Two for Three said he came by
last night, dropped the bag off.
You don't want to eat first?
You know I like
to smoke before I eat.
You can't wait?
You all right?
What if we took a break?
Is it... Is it Chico?
You know I'm-a kill him, right?
I'm-a take his head off.
No, I mean a break from weed.
Wait. You want to
take a break from weed?
Just for, like, you know, a week
or so, to see how it feels.
Well, I already know how it
feels. That's why I smoke.
The coconut oil
gives it the richness--
Utter tragedy.
Let's make brownies.
Come on.
That's not-- No.
Come on. It'll be fun.
I don't even think
you're supposed to
use that kind of bud
to make brownies.
Yes, yes, yes, you can.
And look.
Tomorrow, at the planetarium,
they're having the
Spring Equinox Festival.
And they'll have
a light show and a DJ.
We could see different galaxies.
And it's going to be crazy,
especially if we're tripping.
I don't know if I wanna do that...
Please, please, please, please.
I always wanted to
make brownies. Please.
All right, all right.
Yeah, I know a
fucking hand job spot.
I want to get, like,
three fucking Asian bitches.
I don't even give a fuck.
I want mad fucking blow.
I'll go in a fucking hotel.
I don't give a fuck.
Yo, dick.
What are you doing tonight?
Nina made brownies. We gon'
chill, get high and shit.
Nina made brownies.
Nah, bro, fuck that.
We gon' kick--
Listen. Listen. Listen.
You're coming out tonight.
My boy Al got a vaporizer.
The fuck is a vaporizer?
This shit just fucking
turns it into, like, a fume.
You inhale it through a bag.
Crazy shit.
Made these brownies, man.
Nah, yo,
I don't believe this shit.
You're going to
fucking eat brownies?
You're not coming out?
I get off probation today.
Yeah, but I got Nina.
Yo, this fucking kid's telling
me he's not coming out tonight
'cause he's fucking making
brownies. What a fucking bitch.
Who are you, Betty Crocker?
I'm not a fucking bitch.
I'm no bitch, man.
You're not no bitch.
All right, so you're coming out?
No. I got plans.
I thought you said
you weren't a bitch.
I'm not a bitch, dog.
So, you're coming out?
I'm not no bitch.
All right, cool,
so you're coming out.
I don't know, bro. This guy's on
some real fucking bitch shit.
Yeah, still working here.
Hey, guys, can you chill out?
How 'bout you shut up?
I have to... Hang on a sec.
I'm telling on all of you guys.
I'm telling your teacher.
You're going to be
in so much trouble.
I can't wait.
Screw you.
Yeah, I got to
work late tonight.
Can't we just, like,
move it to 7:00?
Yeah. Did you want to
get dinner?
All right, cool. I'll look into
what's around there.
You dicks! Ah! That hurt!
No fucking way.
I want those.
Are they strong?
It's my first time.
So, I don't know.
The weed didn't
really fricassee.
But if you take two,
I'm sure you'll trip.
Spit it out! Spit it out!
Spit it out!
Ah! Ah!
Okay, well...
Jimmy, boys,
what's going on over here?
Jimmy took the brownies
from that bag.
I am so sorry, Miss Nina.
Shame on you, boys.
Yeah, it is. We saw you with it.
You guys are in trouble.
It's not my bag.
Get up. Get up.
It's not my bag.
No, you don't have to--
Good brownies!
Get inside.
I am so--
It's not mine.
They do this all the time.
I'm really sorry.
If there's one thing, one piece
of advice I can give you,
it's "Don't have kids."
I'm kidding.
I'm sort of...
I'm kind of kidding.
I'm sorry. I really am.
So, raccoons, they are...
They're really interesting,
umm, animal... mammals.
Uhh, they, umm,
they build their own homes.
They... They have, umm, tails.
They, uhh--
Jimmy, what are you doing?
They have homes.
Get back to the group.
And they, uhh...
They have babies.
You okay?
And they have tails.
What's going on? Jimmy?
Mommy said you were in Heaven.
No, baby. I'm in Hell.
What? Is this Hell?
Yes, dear.
So, I'm dead?
I don't want to die!
I don't want to be die,
don't want to be dead.
Help me, Grandma.
No, help me!
Oh my God!
Hey! Stop! Stop that woman!
Someone stop her!
Yo, son.
Yo, take his shoes.
I'll put 'em on
the telephone wire.
Yo, we should
put it in the oven.
Yo, you need to go to boot camp.
Yo, he's in my mom's bed.
Oh, it's your mom's bed?
Ah! I'll give you the leg lock.
That's some homo shit.
Get the fuck off me.
The things, man, the things...
Hey, yo, you want some...
He's having a hard day.
Yeah. Oh, you like
a cuddly bear and shit.
They call me the Care Bear.
Is that a fucking
hospital wristband?
I just...
just blood yesterday...
I had to fucking go there.
Can I make another call?
What's wrong? Nina?
I... I made a mistake.
What time is it?
You know, he fucking
will kill himself, you know?
Fucking peeing blood
from my fucking dick.
Your mom had nothing
to say to me.
Yo, where's my phone?
Where the fuck is my phone?
Yo, chill, chill.
Yo, your going to
wake his moms up.
Where am I?
Long Island.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, shit, thank you.
Yo, what's that?
It's a Hector Bravo.
I'm just trying to get fit, man.
It's summer, you know?
I'm trying to get fucking sexy
for the fucking summer.
Yo, I see fucking...
fucking shit fucked up.
What the fuck
you talking about?
Fuck you.
I only need, like,
three more of these joints.
This is the
Stilwell Avenue bound "F" train.
The next stop is
Kings Highway.
Stand clear of
the closing doors, please.
Where is he?
Oh my God.
Hey, hey,
I'll take care of that.
This is not a joke.
What you lookin' at?
Get up. Let's go.
Let's hurry up out of here.
Where was he when
she needed him? Huh?
Running the streets? Drunk?
He doesn't even drink.
Oh, you can smell it
a mile away.
Turned you into a junkie.
Hey, can we just
get moving along here?
We didn't raise her like this.
Mom, do you have to be
so extra about everything? God.
Can't believe she's saying that.
I don't understand.
Get you out of here
in five minutes.
This knob...
Hey, guys.
This vagrant? Ugh.
This the kind of company
you keep?
Better be glad
I didn't have my pistol.
I'm sorry. I...
Let's go!
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Wait a minute.
What the fuck you doing, man?
The fuck you talking about, son?
Get the fuck out of here, son!
Hey! Hey! Go! Go!
Yo, what the fuck?
Yo, Lyle! Lyle!
The fuck this dude is doing?
Get the fuck in.
Go, go, go, go. Go!
Fucking pussies! Fucking bitch!
Yo, I saw that shit.
Oh, shit. This...
You my nigger, dog.
You my nigger, dog!
You my nigger!
I'm sorry, son.
So, yeah, man, it's, like,
waiting on these motherfuckers
to call me back, yo,
so I can go down here, take this
test and whatever, whatever,
you know.
Yeah, but, you know,
in the meantime, you know,
you know somebody is hiring,
you know, look out for your boy.
No doubt.
'Sup with Nina?
Yeah, we...
We ain't really fucking with
each other like that
right now but...
I mean, she got a restraining
order against me and shit.
Yeah, man. But, you know, I know
it's her moms or whatever, so...
Sorry to hear that, man.
It's all good.
Oh, shit.
Ah, I'm good. That's all you.
That's all you.
I appreciate the bud, yo.
I ain't smoke since...
Shit, I don't remember
the last time I smoke.
Notice you fucking with the
Ballantine's, taking it back.
Yo, shit is 1.25 a pop.
Fuck you gon' do?
Yo, how long we been rocking,
you and me? Tenth Grade?
Bought my first nick from you
outside the laundromat on Grand.
Word. That's when
the chocolate was popping.
Yo, your money done paid
my car note,
put my food in my baby's mouth,
all that. Real talk.
You like family, God.
Get the fuck out of here, man.
You keep it real
with you right now.
Seeing you like this
breaking my heart, man.
The drugs, the drinking,
whatever you out here doing,
that shit is stealing
your light, pa,
for real.
You need to put all that
to the left right now
'cause you smell like a Pamper
full of vomit, my nigga.
Straight up, no disrespect.
No, you right.
I'm only coming at you like this
'cause you family.
I feel you.
You know what I mean?
But no wonder your girl
done filed a restraining order
against you.
Your hygiene game
all fucked up right now.
You noticed I ain't even
hitting the "L", right?
I don't know where your lips
been at, going... I don't...
This shit is fucked up.
Yo, man, listen.
This nigga's crazy.
Get off the streets.
Get a cut--
Nah, son.
Shower, buy a shirt that's--
From the 99 store and go fill
out some applications, man.
You can't give up out here.
It's all... It's all good.
It's all good.
Just so you know though, like,
make sure you scrub back your
neck, you dig? Your knees...
Yeah, all of that.
All of that.
Yo, let me get a half ounce.
This nigga, you serious?
Hey, I just fucking with you,
That shit just taste so good,
Got to give me some of that.
But I feel you though.
Yo, you focusing on
the wrong shit.
No, I feel you, son.
Get your shit together, Lyle.
Yeah, you right.
Appreciate it, man, really do,
appreciate it.
The time difference alone
changes our whole
body's chemistry.
So, who's to say,
when you're in India,
you're not activating, like,
the Indian part.
You're breathing in Indian air.
You're drinking like an Indian.
You're Indian.
But you're you.
You know what I mean?
I'm not hiring.
Came to ask a favour.
I did not know
you were a socialist.
Uh-huh. I'm not.
My grandfather,
he was socialist.
He starved to death in Ukraine
like asshole.
I need to rent some stuff.
Why should I rent to alcoholic
who does not come to work?
Sorry about that.
I need money.
Got cash.
Yeah, yeah,
I want to put an ad in.
Yeah, "For sale, one day only."
Yeah all right, umm,
"Got the 47" plasma screen
Panasonic TV, $500."
Yeah, "I got the brand new
HP desktop computer, $400."
Yep. Yep.
"Got the Kenmore
washer and dryer set, $400."
Yeah, it's all brand new.
Everything is brand new.
Yep, yep. Yep, that's it.
Yeah. Yo thank you very much.
Are you expecting someone?
No, not.
Hope it ain't
that Jehovah Witness.
How you doing, sir?
How you doing, Mr. Brewer?
Everything all right?
Everything is...
Everything is cool.
Then why are you
knocking on my door?
I love you, young brother.
But you got to use
a little common sense.
I just want to talk to Nina.
You can't talk to her, okay?
You cannot talk to her.
So, just accept that
as a way of life.
And get on with your life.
Thank you, Mr. Breuer.
Go on home, okay?
Appreciate it. Thank you.
What the hell's wrong with you?
Ow! Ow!
All right, all right, all right,
all right, I'm leaving.
I like to hear that.
I'm leaving.
Say it again.
I'm leaving. I'm leaving.
I'm leaving! I'm leaving!
I'm leaving! I'm leaving!
I'm going home! I'm-a go home.
You ain't gon'
come round here no more?
No, not no more, no more.
All right.
Peace. Peace.
Otherwise, I'm-a get
a piece of your ass.
All right, all right.
Don't be bullshitting me.
Who the hell is that?
Nina! Nina!
Hey, Nina!
Yes, I have an emergency
at 4327 Hancock Street.
My daughter's stalker
is at my door right now.
Yes, we have
a restraining order.
He is in violation of it.
What's wrong with him?
Is she even home?
Is she home? Is she...
Lyle, what are you doing here?
Oh, shit!
I got the tickets.
I got... They to Panama.
I couldn't get
the Galapagos joints.
But... But, yo,
we could, like,
get a bus or something
when we get down there.
I can't.
I'm on probation.
I have community service.
Yo, this was your idea.
Come on. You don't remember?
You, but not really you?
You, the Indian you?
Look, I'll change,
when we get out of here.
Please. I need these.
You need this. Please.
Come on. I'm ready right now.
Step aside.
Nina, come talk to me, Nina.
It's okay, Mom. It's okay.
I'm going to make him leave.
It's okay.
I'm just...
just going to say bye.
Ten seconds!
Come with me, please.
Where to?
Airport, JFK.