Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003) Movie Script
DNA
- I never heard of him.
- Who?
The man you recommended.
The guitar fighter?
Wiped out a couple towns
single-handedly. A real nut. Yeah.
You heard of him. You just didn't know
it was him they were talking about.
You should meet him.
Me. Me. That's me.
As long as I'm not the guy
that has to make the introduction.
Were you in Mexico during
the Barillo cartel massacre?
No.
That's when I first heard about him.
He was a legend.
They used to say he was the biggest
Mexican they'd ever seen.
That was total bullshit.
He was 5'9", 5'10", tops.
That's no record,
but bigger than most of us.
But Marquez, that's a different story.
Marquez.
Marquez.
Gen. Marquez.
Powerful, dangerous.
Marquez, he really had it in
for this Mariachi, see.
They called him "Mariachi"
because he used to carry this guitar.
A guitar?
Believe me, he really knew
how to play it too.
Look, this story is well-traveled.
It might have picked up some
embellishments along the way.
Just read between the lines.
Now, he may not have been
the biggest Mexican ever...
- All right.
...but she was as deadly...
...as she was beautiful.
- There's a girl?
- Oh, yeah. There's a girl.
When he'd run out of ammo,
she'd take over.
The most drop-dead gorgeous
woman you'll ever see.
That's where all the trouble began.
She was with Marquez.
And when Marquez saw that she was
with the Mariachi, well, he went crazy.
He hunted him down and fought
Mariachi to the death. And then she...
...put a bullet in his heart.
Only he didn't die.
- I don't know what happened after that.
- Would you like some?
No. Maybe Marquez caught up
with them, or the cartels.
But like I said, the man
is a myth, a legend.
And if he's still living,
he's the one you want.
Well...
...that is truly unbelievable.
Well, I'm not big on telling stories.
Where's the money?
That's the reason I'm here.
I couldn't find a briefcase
small enough...
...for $10,000 in cash.
It'll do.
Just for my own edification,
I offered you 50.
- Why'd you say no?
- I'm not a greedy man.
Not looking to get rich quick.
Besides, 50,000 is a lot for what
you wanted me to find out, you know.
You may as just as well put a bullet
in my head as cough it up, right?
But 10?
Ten thousand is civilized.
Ten is something
we both can live with.
Ten might still be too much.
You'd kill me over $10,000?
You wouldn't dare.
You wouldn't dare.
Yes, I would.
Would you do me the honor?
You need to learn to play.
That's why you're here.
I hear this is a town of Gunmen.
We only make guitars here.
Mariachi.
Which one?
I don't know who you mean.
I'm honored to be in your presence.
But there's someone else who
wants to meet you.
Keep it. He made that for you.
You know, if I was you, son,
I'd turn around and go back right now.
Go back to where I came from...
...instead of selling my mind
and my soul to these cocksuckers.
You speak English?
I didn't think so.
Attempts have been made on me
and my family by the cartels.
The same cartels that are
threatening our freedom...
freedom which we must
defend to the death.
I present to you Senor Blascoe.
Please sit.
We hear you want to work for us.
I too am ready to start a new life.
This is your lucky day.
Did you order my pibil?
- Does it have a name?
- They call him "EI."
As in "The."
I know what it means. Thank you.
Alert the Barillo cartel...
...that El has come out of hiding.
- I don't think we should...
- Are you a Mexican...
...or a Mexi-can't?
I'm a Mexican.
Good.
Then do as I say.
- Nice tune.
- Something my brother taught me.
I killed him.
Yes, I was privy to that
information already. How charming.
You know, El,
if I may call you that...
...I've been doing a little snooping
around, and it seems that the cartels...
...have quite a price on your head.
I wouldn't want to be you.
Tell me, is there anyone
who doesn't want you dead?
You tell me.
I need you to kill a man.
El, you really must try this
because it's puerco pibil.
It's a slow-roasted pork, nothing fancy.
It just happens to be my favorite...
...and I order it with a tequila and lime
in every dive I go to in this country.
And honestly, that is the best
it's ever been anywhere.
In fact, it's too good.
It's so good that when I'm finished,
I'll pay my check...
...walk straight into the kitchen
and shoot the cook.
Because that's what I do.
I restore the balance to this country.
And that is what I would like
from you right now.
Help keep the balance
by pulling the trigger.
- You want me to shoot the cook?
- No, I'll shoot the cook.
My car's parked
out back anyway. You...
...will kill Marquez.
Do you remember Gen. Marquez?
He's being paid by Barillo...
...to kill the president
in an attempted coup d'etat
- Attempted?
- Oh, no. The president will be killed...
...because he's that piece of good pork
that needs to get balanced out.
I say "attempted" because we don't
want Marquez taking power.
I need you to put the hurting,
so to speak, on Marquez...
...after he's killed
the president. Savvy?
- So why me?
- You've got nothing to live for...
...and, in a way, you're already dead.
And Marquez is the man
who killed you.
So why not return the favor?
Go to the church.
Meet with an associate
of mine named Salome at 3:00.
And I will contact you afterwards
if we have a deal.
Was I right?
I guess not.
The last shipment of guns
that were seized at our border...
...have not been
accounted for, Sanchez.
You are now off that assignment.
Who wants to volunteer?
Okay. You, Gomez, it's yours.
With el presidente's new campaign
against the Barillo cartel...
...their activities are being
pushed into the forefront.
Large payments, deliveries,
whispers of a political takeover.
I need new point men,
strong and willing.
This is a top priority of el presidente.
Who wants this?
Romero, it's yours.
Pick your secondary person.
A third, if you have to.
That's all. Dismissed.
I should take his left nut.
You're with us.
People of Culiacan.
I've come here to bring you a
message of peace.
Peace that at this moment is being
threatened by a group of people
that is threatening our nation.
People like Armando Barillo.
I invite you to gather our forces...
...in order to prevent the
destruction of our unity
...and our peace.
El presidente, history teaches us
no matter how great your armies are...
...you will always need
the favor of the inhabitants...
...to take possession of a province.
How can you compete with
a man like Barillo? He owns Culiacan.
He doesn't own its people.
Barillo purchased hundreds
of homes and ranches...
...in the northern part of Culiacan.
And then he has turned around
and given these homes to the people.
- He's a folk hero to them.
- He's also a mass murderer...
...and a drug kingpin.
He's trying to make himself a martyr
by drawing the people to his side...
...but the people can see through that.
Men like Barillo have stolen
this country's soul.
But my people will stand up
for what is right.
I'm afraid they're no longer
your people, sir.
Then I will die fighting.
Are you with me?
To the death.
What's wrong?
Everything.
This way!
Come on, come on,
come on, come on!
Any suggestions, Miss "Let's
get a room on the fifth floor...
...so we can see
the beautiful sunset"?
Jump.
Swing, swing, swing.
- Hang on!
- What do you mean, hold on?
Let go now!
Give me that!
Stop the bus.
Stop the bus.
A vow must be broken.
Forgive me...
for what I am about to become.
- When was your last confession?
- An hour ago.
- And the name of your priest?
- Sands.
Okay. You are expected to carry out
your assignment to the letter...
- Yeah, I know.
- Failure to appear...
...in locations at assigned times...
...results in forfeit of protection,
protection you will definitely need.
- Yeah.
- You'll be paid.
Coup d'etats, like elections,
don't come cheap.
So there's plenty of dough
floating around.
There's more.
You will be a free man...
...from Marquez, the cartels,
and even from the president...
...who isn't your biggest fan,
let's face it.
- When do I begin?
- Give me a moment.
It's a church, hombre.
I'm sorry.
Are you still standing?
Still.
Good. Well, the Barillo cartel
aren't the nicest of guys, are they?
However, you've passed the test.
You're gonna do just fine.
Assemble your team, and I will
call you with further instructions.
Over and out.
I'm just walking my beat, friend.
Mexico's my beat, I'm walking it.
I throw shapes, and they catch them.
I set them up and watch them fall.
Have him meet me
at the bullfight at 5 p.m. What?
Why would I want that?
Why would I want bubble gum?
All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, this should hold the both
of us over for quite a long time.
So I don't ever want to see you again.
Fuck off.
- Hi.
- Hello.
The CIA sharing a meal with the FBI.
Now, if that isn't interagency
cooperation, I just don't know what is.
- I'm retired FBI.
- A real agent never retires.
He just takes it a little easier.
- Why are we talking?
- You tracked down Armando Barillo...
...for two years when he was running
operations out of San Antonio.
Spinning wheels.
It never led to an arrest.
Well, he...
He is, in fact,
sitting directly behind you.
I know.
He settled back in.
He's been living here for six years.
Can't be touched.
Did you know that most agents
never even see a top-10 criminal...
...for their entire careers?
You brought down two, didn't you?
And now your third
is sitting in very close proximity.
Now, retired or not...
...that has really got to tug
on the old short and curlies.
I'm a civilian now.
Didn't he kill that agent friend
of yours? What was his name...
...Archuleta?
Yes.
Barillo is a Mexican citizen.
He cannot be extradited for crimes
committed in the U.S.
Do you happen to know of a
Dr. Guevera? Worked for the cartel.
This doctor pumped your friend
Archuleta full of drugs, day after day...
...so that they could torture him
for two weeks before he died.
You must have known that.
Dr. Guevera himself
having dinner with your prey.
I wonder what it is they're up to now.
Two weeks of torture, Jorge.
Think about that.
For your dead friend...
...for the job you didn't finish
in San Antonio.
Now, are you really going to let it
slip away again?
I'd like you to have a bite
of my pork because it's...
...the world.
(Announcer)
It's Mariachi Happy Hour!
Get your Mariachi song for 5 pesos.
A Mariachi kiss for 20 pesos.
And a Mariachi fuck for only 50 pesos!
Where the hell have you been?
Far away.
Still fucking around?
Let me get Fideo.
I'm here for my guitar.
It's his last night.
They're firing him.
Hey...
...Fideo, it's me.
- Still drinking.
- Like a fish.
I guess we haven't changed so much.
I didn't think you'd ever
come back for this thing.
Neither did I.
Are we on?
I'll let you know.
I'll let you know.
Bring him sober.
We're gonna need him, so...
...coffee.
Lots of coffee.
Sometimes a revolution is exactly
what's needed to clean up the system.
One...
...giant enema, which just so happens
to be my area of expertise.
Bullfights. Bull hockey.
Do you like this?
The bull is stabbed,
prodded, beaten.
The bull is wounded.
The bull is tired before the matador...
...ever steps into the ring.
Now, is that victory?
Of course it is.
Wanna know
the secret to winning?
Creative sportsmanship.
In other words...
...one has to rig the game.
Go collect.
El presidente is giving a speech
on the Day of the Dead...
...in the town of Culiacan.
He's going to be isolated...
...in the main edificio
in the center of the plaza.
Very easy access to him if...
...somebody can get you in.
Right.
You're the man who can do that.
I am not the prince.
I am the man behind the prince.
- I see.
- He's not the first prince I've served...
...nor the first one that I've betrayed.
- You're a good rat. I like you.
- I try.
The rest upon completion.
- Mucho gusto.
- Right. Right.
Every goddamn time.
What do you want in life?
Belini...
...how long have you and I
done business together?
A long time.
And in a way...
...I kind of, almost, could have the
tiniest smidgen of respect for you.
Almost.
But you need to stop farting around.
Now, do you have the information
that I need on Barillo or do you not?
I have what you need.
I'm just enjoying this
temporary position of power.
That make you nervous?
You know that withholding vital
information from a federal officer...
...is a serious offense.
Especially when that officer has paid
handsomely for it...
...and wouldn't think twice about
ripping that patch off your eyehole...
...and skull-fucking you to death.
No.
I'm fine. Go away.
I am fine. Go away.
You're off the hook.
Leave me alone.
That spill just cost you your life.
A little help.
Okay.
I know it's on you somewhere.
Somewhere.
All right.
Time to get messy.
Well, I suppose I should thank you
for not sticking it up your ass.
However.
You're about a quart low.
You're gonna pay for that, cop.
- Why doesn't my key work anymore?
- It's too small.
- Stand back.
- I just... I brought you a gift.
I'm still mad at you.
And trust me,
it wasn't easy to get. So...
Come closer and I'll thank you.
- Are you trying to give me a boner?
- Closer, I said.
How about that little tip-off?
Guarantees you a big arrest
and an accommodation.
Even from your twisted little agency.
I'm impressed.
- But then what?
- Want to hear my plan?
Either that or I start target practice.
Okay. The new president is on a
quest to clear out the Barillo cartel.
And Barillo has set up
a counterattack...
...by hiring a military general
named Marquez.
He wants him
to throw a coup d'etat...
...while the president's
visiting Ouliacan.
Now, I have a man inside
as insurance...
...to make sure that Marquez
never takes power.
The last piece of the puzzle...
...is Barillo. Your tip-off assures...
...that Barillo is out of the picture
while the battle ensues.
In the aftermath
of this very healthy revolution...
...I will calmly waltz away with
the 20 million pesos...
...that Barillo is prepared to pay
Marquez for the coup.
- You want me to go with you?
- You detain Barillo...
...with the information that you have,
then you join me...
...and share the spoils.
You meet me two nights from now...
...at La Pileta, 10 p.m. sharp...
...and bring only
what's important to you.
Oh, yeah.
It might get a wee bit dangerous
there, sugar-butt. So...
- Can you dig it?
- I can dig it.
I want my key back.
Testing. One, two. Testing.
Hello?
Can you hear me now?
Okay... Fucking bells.
Did you assemble your team?
You know I did.
- Why are you having me followed?
- Oh, yeah, that. Let'sjust call that a...
...guarantee of compliance, shall we?
Because Cucuy also...
...provides protection.
- From what? Mosquitoes?
Oh, gosh, I really wouldn't mess
with him if I were you...
...because he's a bit of a live wire.
And he's not the happiest
that you killed his man.
Oh, yeah, by the way,
I have your next assignment.
You the Mariachis?
This is the back entrance.
Make a note of it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Who are they?
Musicians.
Why so heavy?
Built in amplifier.
Play something.
All right.
Let's go.
- I was afraid you couldn't play.
- Are you kidding?
What we are looking for is support
from the people of this state.
A man can do a lot alone,
but he can do better with his
people backing him.
I wonder how much
we're getting paid for this shit.
A man who wants nothing
is invincible, cabron.
Hey.
Are you gonna tell him
that this is his last meal?
Is there a particular song you
would like to hear?
We just played for el presidente,
I can't buy half a tequila with this shit!
It was meant as an honor.
Fuck honor.
- We need money.
- The score's tomorrow. Enough for all.
Even for you, Lorenzo.
Why are you suddenly interested
in the score? What's in it for you?
Only revenge.
Much delayed revenge.
Go practice.
Practice?
Playing or shooting?
What do you think?
I don't think. I drink.
- Yeah, hello.
- Been following Barillo...
...and the good Dr. Guevera.
- Oh, Agent Ramirez, no longer retired.
- Good man. Welcome to the fold.
- I haven't seen illegal activities yet.
Only that Dr. Guevera is scheduled
for a medical procedure...
...on November 2.
The Day of the Dead. That's tomorrow.
Also identified a member of the group
as Billy Chambers.
A fugitive. We've been wanting
to pick him up for some time now.
Billy Chambers? Yeah. You sure?
- Bet my badge on it.
- Well...
...whatever they're up to,
I can guarantee you...
...that it's going
to happen tomorrow.
- So I sugges t you...
- What's going down tomorrow?
If you see an opening, take it.
- What do you know?
- Not enough. Get inside.
I've got nothing.
I gotta get in. I got nothing.
Try to make a move.
I don't have a move to make.
What are you gonna do, stupid?
Billy Chambers is on the move.
Where are you going?
You're buying a taco.
This is too easy.
Where are the other guys?
This is a setup.
It smells like a setup.
I'm making my move.
Billy Chambers.
- Well, that depends who's asking.
- I thought that was you.
- Here, let me pay for this.
- Oh, well, thanks.
Oh, goddamn it.
- Is that real?
- Yes, it is.
Goddamn.
What took you boys so long?
Whoa, hey, friend.
You ain't gonna need that.
Believe it or not, man, I'm ready to go.
Let's talk over there.
After you.
Man, I just wanna get out of here.
I've been on the run, hiding out here
down in Mexico...
...for the last eight goddamn years.
And I've been working
for this here cartel for the last four.
I ain't got shit. All I got
is what I'm wearing on my back.
I can't go nowhere.
Sort of got me by the balls, you know?
Jorge Ramirez.
I'll take you in under the FBI's
supervision and protection...
...until we can take you back, where
you will be prosecuted for your crimes.
- In the U.S.?
- In the U.S.
The things that I've had to do
for the goddamn cartel are...
...unspeakable.
- You don't know what Barillo's up to?
I'm close to the man.
I'm real close.
But he don't let nobody in,
that cocksucker.
Can you get him close to Barillo?
Him?
I need your help.
Then you get me out of here.
Then I'll get you out of here.
Him too.
Him too.
There's cartel on every corner.
Sands told me you handle protection.
I don't work for Sands anymore.
And since I'm a Mexican,
I can do whatever I want.
Then I guess
I don't work for Sands neither.
- Goodbye.
- There's a price on your head.
I'm going to collect. Why don't you
just tell Barillo everything you know.
And then maybe
he'll just cut off your hands.
And if I don't?
You know that old man
I killed in your village?
What if your whole village was next?
Would you kill them?
Me? They certainly would.
Then I guess I have no choice...
...but to kill you all.
You...
...are last.
That should put him out
for a few days...
...and give him some nasty dreams.
You have to relax your fingers.
Music is pure, from one's soul.
If the soul is pure,
the music flows free.
And if the soul isn't pure?
Then you must practice
like a motherfucker.
I present to you...
...Senor Cucuy.
Get this condescending ass
out of here.
You want me to break his fingers?
No. I want you to chop them off.
- I was just making a joke.
- I wasn't.
Sit, please.
So...
...you are the man who brought us...
...the Mariachi.
The man I work for, Mr. Sands...
...he is using the Mariachi
to kill Gen. Marquez.
So you want to join us...
...here's how it works.
There is the bait. There is the trade.
A favor for a favor.
So El Mariachi is the trade?
You are.
This ain't my line of work.
This guy's all fucked up.
General Marquez is arriving!
Bring out the Mariachi!
Bring him out to the General!
I didn't kill you before.
Enough blood had been shed.
But I see now...
that blood will spill again.
General Marquez,
the Mariachi is not here.
He escaped.
You too will escape.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, Lore...
Why?
Practice shooting, not drinking.
We are on.
By order of the President, they
are searching all vehicles
for guns and drugs.
That fucker's been blockading
all the roads.
Take us back another way.
By order of the president.
Who does this guy think he is?
He wants to get rid of me?
Fine.
I'll get rid of him.
Replace him, even.
Then I will simply disappear.
Hey, vamonos, man.
Don't put me out completely.
Have my men wait outside.
Barillo and Dr. Guevera
must already be inside the building...
...having entered
through the back or basement.
They should be midprocedure.
Federal agents.
This is going down now.
If Barillo wanted to look
unrecognizable to authorities...
...he succeeded.
Massive tissue loss due to
an only partially-completed...
...facial reconstruction wasn't
necessarily the cause of death.
They switched bodies.
Barillo!
FBI.
He was anyway.
Bring him along.
Listen, I cannot do everything
by myself.
I need someone
to go in there with me.
No. I lost my inside man.
Probably dead.
And Cucuy, greedy turd that he is,
ratted me out and has disappeared.
Plus, I'm pretty sure the cartel
is shadowing me.
Now, listen, I have got a swell bunch
of guys intercepting Marquez's army...
...but they've got no guns.
I want you to understand me.
This is no time to screw the pooch...
...because this is supposed to be
the big dance number, all right?
Hello?
Hello? Are you there?
Okay, okay,
I'm going to freak right out.
I would like the puerco pibil
and a tequila with lime.
Yeah, listen, I need a new line.
This one's been compromised.
Okay? Thank you.
I'll be waiting here
at the La Vaca Volando.
That's right.
The Flying Cow.
You really didn't see it coming,
did you?
Sorry, baby, I told you I wasn't
interested in your scheme.
Too small.
Oh, my Christ. Is that Barillo?
That's the new Barillo. The old Barillo
died in surgery a few hours ago.
What kind of cartel would have you
running its operation?
I'm his daughter.
You've been spying on my operation
for some time.
I feel it's only fair to warn you
that killing me is crossing the line...
...and you will have every marine
from here to Guantanamo Bay...
...up your keister, mister.
So just know that.
Fortunately for you, nothing you did
is worth dying over.
You have only seen too much.
We are going to make sure
that doesn't happen again.
On this day of the dead,
I offer you a chance for a new life.
That sounded a little extreme
for a parade.
Troops are coming up
from the south.
- Whose?
- Emiliano Marquez.
- Well, what do we do?
- We stay here. This place is fortified.
It's much easier to defend this place
than to chance going out in the open.
Nicholas? What are you talking
about, "fortified"? Come here!
Just stay clear of those windows, sir.
You let me handle it.
My name is Sheldon Jeffrey Sands.
I work for the Central
Intelligence Agency.
I set them up.
I watch them fall.
I'm living la vida loca.
No!
I'm terribly sorry about your
chewing gum, but listen.
I will give you this...
...if you'll be my eyes.
It's a dollar.
I meant...
...this.
I need you to take me
to the center of the city.
Is someone following you?
It's difficult for me to tell right now
because I'm having a bad day.
Do you see someone?
Yes, he's getting close.
Listen, have you ever seen
one of these?
Have you used one?
Don't ever,
because they're bad.
But what I need for you to do
is to aim this...
...at the bad man who's following us
and shoot him in the head.
Kill him?
Oh, yeah. Very matalo.
Close?
Okay. Smoke him.
Smoke the fucker. Just send him
straight to fucking Broadway.
What?
Okay. Come here.
Right or left?
Was that my right or your right?
Wrong man.
Sorry.
Look me in the eyes...
...and then kill me.
Good boy. Now you're thinking.
Take me to the center of the city,
where there will be even more dough.
For you...
for our daughter...
for Mexico.
In my past, I'd take on evil
from the bottom.
Now I realize...
...start at the top.
The president is a good man.
I'll go around back.
Meet me in five.
Watch him.
We could torture him.
He's FBI.
He's retired.
That doesn't count.
I was tortured once.
I didn't like it.
You know what the fucked up thing is?
They tore out my left nut.
That sort of turned me off of the
whole thing.
What should we do with him?
Let's go eat about it.
Hey Snow White, watch that
fucking pig.
Just lay low.
They'll leave us alone.
What the fuck?!
I don't like military.
Get out.
- Why are we stopping?
- We can't go further.
- Why not?
- Look out there. It's a coup d'etat!
I can't see, fuck-mook!
I have no eyes.
Well, then listen to it, fucker!
The military's throwing over the
presidency. All hell's broken loose.
You guys have to get out now.
Keep your money because
I'm not moving one inch.
Fuck! Now what?
- Do you know armor-piercing bullets?
- Yeah.
These are much better.
What do you want in life?
Good choice.
- You ready?
- Yeah.
Okay, let's go!
It's no longer safe to be here.
Let's go.
You have a meeting
with Gen. Marquez, sir.
It feels like you need
some protection, sir.
Who are you guys?
Sons of Mexico, sir.
Are we in front of the building?
Okay.
This is it, kid.
I don't hear you running.
Why would they want me dead?
I've done nothing but help them.
What are you talking about?
Let me show you something.
Look out there! You see?
Well, don't look too close, presidente.
But your people are out there
fighting for you, you understand?
Take off your jacket.
- This also?
- Yes.
Put this on.
What is this, payoff?
This is money someone paid
to kill you.
And now it's money
to save your life, presidente.
Here, get some tequila for yourself.
Leave here and lock the door.
Carolina?
She died.
Your daughter?
She died.
and you?
Dead.
and I?
Alive and well.
In hell.
Everything in its place...
You fucking little monkey.
Stand up.
See anything you like?
No.
Do you remember a man
named Archuleta?
Why?
I present to you Special Agent
Jorge Ramirez.
You tortured and murdered Agent
Archuleta. He was my partner.
He was also my friend.
Agent Ramirez, you have
to follow certain rules.
Oh, I'm retired.
Rules don't apply to me
any more than they do to you.
- Mr. Chambers.
- Yes, sir.
You're just going to stand there?
I'm afraid anything but standing's
gonna cost you extra.
You leave me no choice.
Did you get your man?
One of them.
If that isn't interagency cooperation,
I just don't know what is.
See you later.
Fuck you.
Are you okay?
I don't know.
You will be.
What do you want in life?
To be free...
Simple.
No.
DNA
- I never heard of him.
- Who?
The man you recommended.
The guitar fighter?
Wiped out a couple towns
single-handedly. A real nut. Yeah.
You heard of him. You just didn't know
it was him they were talking about.
You should meet him.
Me. Me. That's me.
As long as I'm not the guy
that has to make the introduction.
Were you in Mexico during
the Barillo cartel massacre?
No.
That's when I first heard about him.
He was a legend.
They used to say he was the biggest
Mexican they'd ever seen.
That was total bullshit.
He was 5'9", 5'10", tops.
That's no record,
but bigger than most of us.
But Marquez, that's a different story.
Marquez.
Marquez.
Gen. Marquez.
Powerful, dangerous.
Marquez, he really had it in
for this Mariachi, see.
They called him "Mariachi"
because he used to carry this guitar.
A guitar?
Believe me, he really knew
how to play it too.
Look, this story is well-traveled.
It might have picked up some
embellishments along the way.
Just read between the lines.
Now, he may not have been
the biggest Mexican ever...
- All right.
...but she was as deadly...
...as she was beautiful.
- There's a girl?
- Oh, yeah. There's a girl.
When he'd run out of ammo,
she'd take over.
The most drop-dead gorgeous
woman you'll ever see.
That's where all the trouble began.
She was with Marquez.
And when Marquez saw that she was
with the Mariachi, well, he went crazy.
He hunted him down and fought
Mariachi to the death. And then she...
...put a bullet in his heart.
Only he didn't die.
- I don't know what happened after that.
- Would you like some?
No. Maybe Marquez caught up
with them, or the cartels.
But like I said, the man
is a myth, a legend.
And if he's still living,
he's the one you want.
Well...
...that is truly unbelievable.
Well, I'm not big on telling stories.
Where's the money?
That's the reason I'm here.
I couldn't find a briefcase
small enough...
...for $10,000 in cash.
It'll do.
Just for my own edification,
I offered you 50.
- Why'd you say no?
- I'm not a greedy man.
Not looking to get rich quick.
Besides, 50,000 is a lot for what
you wanted me to find out, you know.
You may as just as well put a bullet
in my head as cough it up, right?
But 10?
Ten thousand is civilized.
Ten is something
we both can live with.
Ten might still be too much.
You'd kill me over $10,000?
You wouldn't dare.
You wouldn't dare.
Yes, I would.
Would you do me the honor?
You need to learn to play.
That's why you're here.
I hear this is a town of Gunmen.
We only make guitars here.
Mariachi.
Which one?
I don't know who you mean.
I'm honored to be in your presence.
But there's someone else who
wants to meet you.
Keep it. He made that for you.
You know, if I was you, son,
I'd turn around and go back right now.
Go back to where I came from...
...instead of selling my mind
and my soul to these cocksuckers.
You speak English?
I didn't think so.
Attempts have been made on me
and my family by the cartels.
The same cartels that are
threatening our freedom...
freedom which we must
defend to the death.
I present to you Senor Blascoe.
Please sit.
We hear you want to work for us.
I too am ready to start a new life.
This is your lucky day.
Did you order my pibil?
- Does it have a name?
- They call him "EI."
As in "The."
I know what it means. Thank you.
Alert the Barillo cartel...
...that El has come out of hiding.
- I don't think we should...
- Are you a Mexican...
...or a Mexi-can't?
I'm a Mexican.
Good.
Then do as I say.
- Nice tune.
- Something my brother taught me.
I killed him.
Yes, I was privy to that
information already. How charming.
You know, El,
if I may call you that...
...I've been doing a little snooping
around, and it seems that the cartels...
...have quite a price on your head.
I wouldn't want to be you.
Tell me, is there anyone
who doesn't want you dead?
You tell me.
I need you to kill a man.
El, you really must try this
because it's puerco pibil.
It's a slow-roasted pork, nothing fancy.
It just happens to be my favorite...
...and I order it with a tequila and lime
in every dive I go to in this country.
And honestly, that is the best
it's ever been anywhere.
In fact, it's too good.
It's so good that when I'm finished,
I'll pay my check...
...walk straight into the kitchen
and shoot the cook.
Because that's what I do.
I restore the balance to this country.
And that is what I would like
from you right now.
Help keep the balance
by pulling the trigger.
- You want me to shoot the cook?
- No, I'll shoot the cook.
My car's parked
out back anyway. You...
...will kill Marquez.
Do you remember Gen. Marquez?
He's being paid by Barillo...
...to kill the president
in an attempted coup d'etat
- Attempted?
- Oh, no. The president will be killed...
...because he's that piece of good pork
that needs to get balanced out.
I say "attempted" because we don't
want Marquez taking power.
I need you to put the hurting,
so to speak, on Marquez...
...after he's killed
the president. Savvy?
- So why me?
- You've got nothing to live for...
...and, in a way, you're already dead.
And Marquez is the man
who killed you.
So why not return the favor?
Go to the church.
Meet with an associate
of mine named Salome at 3:00.
And I will contact you afterwards
if we have a deal.
Was I right?
I guess not.
The last shipment of guns
that were seized at our border...
...have not been
accounted for, Sanchez.
You are now off that assignment.
Who wants to volunteer?
Okay. You, Gomez, it's yours.
With el presidente's new campaign
against the Barillo cartel...
...their activities are being
pushed into the forefront.
Large payments, deliveries,
whispers of a political takeover.
I need new point men,
strong and willing.
This is a top priority of el presidente.
Who wants this?
Romero, it's yours.
Pick your secondary person.
A third, if you have to.
That's all. Dismissed.
I should take his left nut.
You're with us.
People of Culiacan.
I've come here to bring you a
message of peace.
Peace that at this moment is being
threatened by a group of people
that is threatening our nation.
People like Armando Barillo.
I invite you to gather our forces...
...in order to prevent the
destruction of our unity
...and our peace.
El presidente, history teaches us
no matter how great your armies are...
...you will always need
the favor of the inhabitants...
...to take possession of a province.
How can you compete with
a man like Barillo? He owns Culiacan.
He doesn't own its people.
Barillo purchased hundreds
of homes and ranches...
...in the northern part of Culiacan.
And then he has turned around
and given these homes to the people.
- He's a folk hero to them.
- He's also a mass murderer...
...and a drug kingpin.
He's trying to make himself a martyr
by drawing the people to his side...
...but the people can see through that.
Men like Barillo have stolen
this country's soul.
But my people will stand up
for what is right.
I'm afraid they're no longer
your people, sir.
Then I will die fighting.
Are you with me?
To the death.
What's wrong?
Everything.
This way!
Come on, come on,
come on, come on!
Any suggestions, Miss "Let's
get a room on the fifth floor...
...so we can see
the beautiful sunset"?
Jump.
Swing, swing, swing.
- Hang on!
- What do you mean, hold on?
Let go now!
Give me that!
Stop the bus.
Stop the bus.
A vow must be broken.
Forgive me...
for what I am about to become.
- When was your last confession?
- An hour ago.
- And the name of your priest?
- Sands.
Okay. You are expected to carry out
your assignment to the letter...
- Yeah, I know.
- Failure to appear...
...in locations at assigned times...
...results in forfeit of protection,
protection you will definitely need.
- Yeah.
- You'll be paid.
Coup d'etats, like elections,
don't come cheap.
So there's plenty of dough
floating around.
There's more.
You will be a free man...
...from Marquez, the cartels,
and even from the president...
...who isn't your biggest fan,
let's face it.
- When do I begin?
- Give me a moment.
It's a church, hombre.
I'm sorry.
Are you still standing?
Still.
Good. Well, the Barillo cartel
aren't the nicest of guys, are they?
However, you've passed the test.
You're gonna do just fine.
Assemble your team, and I will
call you with further instructions.
Over and out.
I'm just walking my beat, friend.
Mexico's my beat, I'm walking it.
I throw shapes, and they catch them.
I set them up and watch them fall.
Have him meet me
at the bullfight at 5 p.m. What?
Why would I want that?
Why would I want bubble gum?
All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, this should hold the both
of us over for quite a long time.
So I don't ever want to see you again.
Fuck off.
- Hi.
- Hello.
The CIA sharing a meal with the FBI.
Now, if that isn't interagency
cooperation, I just don't know what is.
- I'm retired FBI.
- A real agent never retires.
He just takes it a little easier.
- Why are we talking?
- You tracked down Armando Barillo...
...for two years when he was running
operations out of San Antonio.
Spinning wheels.
It never led to an arrest.
Well, he...
He is, in fact,
sitting directly behind you.
I know.
He settled back in.
He's been living here for six years.
Can't be touched.
Did you know that most agents
never even see a top-10 criminal...
...for their entire careers?
You brought down two, didn't you?
And now your third
is sitting in very close proximity.
Now, retired or not...
...that has really got to tug
on the old short and curlies.
I'm a civilian now.
Didn't he kill that agent friend
of yours? What was his name...
...Archuleta?
Yes.
Barillo is a Mexican citizen.
He cannot be extradited for crimes
committed in the U.S.
Do you happen to know of a
Dr. Guevera? Worked for the cartel.
This doctor pumped your friend
Archuleta full of drugs, day after day...
...so that they could torture him
for two weeks before he died.
You must have known that.
Dr. Guevera himself
having dinner with your prey.
I wonder what it is they're up to now.
Two weeks of torture, Jorge.
Think about that.
For your dead friend...
...for the job you didn't finish
in San Antonio.
Now, are you really going to let it
slip away again?
I'd like you to have a bite
of my pork because it's...
...the world.
(Announcer)
It's Mariachi Happy Hour!
Get your Mariachi song for 5 pesos.
A Mariachi kiss for 20 pesos.
And a Mariachi fuck for only 50 pesos!
Where the hell have you been?
Far away.
Still fucking around?
Let me get Fideo.
I'm here for my guitar.
It's his last night.
They're firing him.
Hey...
...Fideo, it's me.
- Still drinking.
- Like a fish.
I guess we haven't changed so much.
I didn't think you'd ever
come back for this thing.
Neither did I.
Are we on?
I'll let you know.
I'll let you know.
Bring him sober.
We're gonna need him, so...
...coffee.
Lots of coffee.
Sometimes a revolution is exactly
what's needed to clean up the system.
One...
...giant enema, which just so happens
to be my area of expertise.
Bullfights. Bull hockey.
Do you like this?
The bull is stabbed,
prodded, beaten.
The bull is wounded.
The bull is tired before the matador...
...ever steps into the ring.
Now, is that victory?
Of course it is.
Wanna know
the secret to winning?
Creative sportsmanship.
In other words...
...one has to rig the game.
Go collect.
El presidente is giving a speech
on the Day of the Dead...
...in the town of Culiacan.
He's going to be isolated...
...in the main edificio
in the center of the plaza.
Very easy access to him if...
...somebody can get you in.
Right.
You're the man who can do that.
I am not the prince.
I am the man behind the prince.
- I see.
- He's not the first prince I've served...
...nor the first one that I've betrayed.
- You're a good rat. I like you.
- I try.
The rest upon completion.
- Mucho gusto.
- Right. Right.
Every goddamn time.
What do you want in life?
Belini...
...how long have you and I
done business together?
A long time.
And in a way...
...I kind of, almost, could have the
tiniest smidgen of respect for you.
Almost.
But you need to stop farting around.
Now, do you have the information
that I need on Barillo or do you not?
I have what you need.
I'm just enjoying this
temporary position of power.
That make you nervous?
You know that withholding vital
information from a federal officer...
...is a serious offense.
Especially when that officer has paid
handsomely for it...
...and wouldn't think twice about
ripping that patch off your eyehole...
...and skull-fucking you to death.
No.
I'm fine. Go away.
I am fine. Go away.
You're off the hook.
Leave me alone.
That spill just cost you your life.
A little help.
Okay.
I know it's on you somewhere.
Somewhere.
All right.
Time to get messy.
Well, I suppose I should thank you
for not sticking it up your ass.
However.
You're about a quart low.
You're gonna pay for that, cop.
- Why doesn't my key work anymore?
- It's too small.
- Stand back.
- I just... I brought you a gift.
I'm still mad at you.
And trust me,
it wasn't easy to get. So...
Come closer and I'll thank you.
- Are you trying to give me a boner?
- Closer, I said.
How about that little tip-off?
Guarantees you a big arrest
and an accommodation.
Even from your twisted little agency.
I'm impressed.
- But then what?
- Want to hear my plan?
Either that or I start target practice.
Okay. The new president is on a
quest to clear out the Barillo cartel.
And Barillo has set up
a counterattack...
...by hiring a military general
named Marquez.
He wants him
to throw a coup d'etat...
...while the president's
visiting Ouliacan.
Now, I have a man inside
as insurance...
...to make sure that Marquez
never takes power.
The last piece of the puzzle...
...is Barillo. Your tip-off assures...
...that Barillo is out of the picture
while the battle ensues.
In the aftermath
of this very healthy revolution...
...I will calmly waltz away with
the 20 million pesos...
...that Barillo is prepared to pay
Marquez for the coup.
- You want me to go with you?
- You detain Barillo...
...with the information that you have,
then you join me...
...and share the spoils.
You meet me two nights from now...
...at La Pileta, 10 p.m. sharp...
...and bring only
what's important to you.
Oh, yeah.
It might get a wee bit dangerous
there, sugar-butt. So...
- Can you dig it?
- I can dig it.
I want my key back.
Testing. One, two. Testing.
Hello?
Can you hear me now?
Okay... Fucking bells.
Did you assemble your team?
You know I did.
- Why are you having me followed?
- Oh, yeah, that. Let'sjust call that a...
...guarantee of compliance, shall we?
Because Cucuy also...
...provides protection.
- From what? Mosquitoes?
Oh, gosh, I really wouldn't mess
with him if I were you...
...because he's a bit of a live wire.
And he's not the happiest
that you killed his man.
Oh, yeah, by the way,
I have your next assignment.
You the Mariachis?
This is the back entrance.
Make a note of it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Who are they?
Musicians.
Why so heavy?
Built in amplifier.
Play something.
All right.
Let's go.
- I was afraid you couldn't play.
- Are you kidding?
What we are looking for is support
from the people of this state.
A man can do a lot alone,
but he can do better with his
people backing him.
I wonder how much
we're getting paid for this shit.
A man who wants nothing
is invincible, cabron.
Hey.
Are you gonna tell him
that this is his last meal?
Is there a particular song you
would like to hear?
We just played for el presidente,
I can't buy half a tequila with this shit!
It was meant as an honor.
Fuck honor.
- We need money.
- The score's tomorrow. Enough for all.
Even for you, Lorenzo.
Why are you suddenly interested
in the score? What's in it for you?
Only revenge.
Much delayed revenge.
Go practice.
Practice?
Playing or shooting?
What do you think?
I don't think. I drink.
- Yeah, hello.
- Been following Barillo...
...and the good Dr. Guevera.
- Oh, Agent Ramirez, no longer retired.
- Good man. Welcome to the fold.
- I haven't seen illegal activities yet.
Only that Dr. Guevera is scheduled
for a medical procedure...
...on November 2.
The Day of the Dead. That's tomorrow.
Also identified a member of the group
as Billy Chambers.
A fugitive. We've been wanting
to pick him up for some time now.
Billy Chambers? Yeah. You sure?
- Bet my badge on it.
- Well...
...whatever they're up to,
I can guarantee you...
...that it's going
to happen tomorrow.
- So I sugges t you...
- What's going down tomorrow?
If you see an opening, take it.
- What do you know?
- Not enough. Get inside.
I've got nothing.
I gotta get in. I got nothing.
Try to make a move.
I don't have a move to make.
What are you gonna do, stupid?
Billy Chambers is on the move.
Where are you going?
You're buying a taco.
This is too easy.
Where are the other guys?
This is a setup.
It smells like a setup.
I'm making my move.
Billy Chambers.
- Well, that depends who's asking.
- I thought that was you.
- Here, let me pay for this.
- Oh, well, thanks.
Oh, goddamn it.
- Is that real?
- Yes, it is.
Goddamn.
What took you boys so long?
Whoa, hey, friend.
You ain't gonna need that.
Believe it or not, man, I'm ready to go.
Let's talk over there.
After you.
Man, I just wanna get out of here.
I've been on the run, hiding out here
down in Mexico...
...for the last eight goddamn years.
And I've been working
for this here cartel for the last four.
I ain't got shit. All I got
is what I'm wearing on my back.
I can't go nowhere.
Sort of got me by the balls, you know?
Jorge Ramirez.
I'll take you in under the FBI's
supervision and protection...
...until we can take you back, where
you will be prosecuted for your crimes.
- In the U.S.?
- In the U.S.
The things that I've had to do
for the goddamn cartel are...
...unspeakable.
- You don't know what Barillo's up to?
I'm close to the man.
I'm real close.
But he don't let nobody in,
that cocksucker.
Can you get him close to Barillo?
Him?
I need your help.
Then you get me out of here.
Then I'll get you out of here.
Him too.
Him too.
There's cartel on every corner.
Sands told me you handle protection.
I don't work for Sands anymore.
And since I'm a Mexican,
I can do whatever I want.
Then I guess
I don't work for Sands neither.
- Goodbye.
- There's a price on your head.
I'm going to collect. Why don't you
just tell Barillo everything you know.
And then maybe
he'll just cut off your hands.
And if I don't?
You know that old man
I killed in your village?
What if your whole village was next?
Would you kill them?
Me? They certainly would.
Then I guess I have no choice...
...but to kill you all.
You...
...are last.
That should put him out
for a few days...
...and give him some nasty dreams.
You have to relax your fingers.
Music is pure, from one's soul.
If the soul is pure,
the music flows free.
And if the soul isn't pure?
Then you must practice
like a motherfucker.
I present to you...
...Senor Cucuy.
Get this condescending ass
out of here.
You want me to break his fingers?
No. I want you to chop them off.
- I was just making a joke.
- I wasn't.
Sit, please.
So...
...you are the man who brought us...
...the Mariachi.
The man I work for, Mr. Sands...
...he is using the Mariachi
to kill Gen. Marquez.
So you want to join us...
...here's how it works.
There is the bait. There is the trade.
A favor for a favor.
So El Mariachi is the trade?
You are.
This ain't my line of work.
This guy's all fucked up.
General Marquez is arriving!
Bring out the Mariachi!
Bring him out to the General!
I didn't kill you before.
Enough blood had been shed.
But I see now...
that blood will spill again.
General Marquez,
the Mariachi is not here.
He escaped.
You too will escape.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, Lore...
Why?
Practice shooting, not drinking.
We are on.
By order of the President, they
are searching all vehicles
for guns and drugs.
That fucker's been blockading
all the roads.
Take us back another way.
By order of the president.
Who does this guy think he is?
He wants to get rid of me?
Fine.
I'll get rid of him.
Replace him, even.
Then I will simply disappear.
Hey, vamonos, man.
Don't put me out completely.
Have my men wait outside.
Barillo and Dr. Guevera
must already be inside the building...
...having entered
through the back or basement.
They should be midprocedure.
Federal agents.
This is going down now.
If Barillo wanted to look
unrecognizable to authorities...
...he succeeded.
Massive tissue loss due to
an only partially-completed...
...facial reconstruction wasn't
necessarily the cause of death.
They switched bodies.
Barillo!
FBI.
He was anyway.
Bring him along.
Listen, I cannot do everything
by myself.
I need someone
to go in there with me.
No. I lost my inside man.
Probably dead.
And Cucuy, greedy turd that he is,
ratted me out and has disappeared.
Plus, I'm pretty sure the cartel
is shadowing me.
Now, listen, I have got a swell bunch
of guys intercepting Marquez's army...
...but they've got no guns.
I want you to understand me.
This is no time to screw the pooch...
...because this is supposed to be
the big dance number, all right?
Hello?
Hello? Are you there?
Okay, okay,
I'm going to freak right out.
I would like the puerco pibil
and a tequila with lime.
Yeah, listen, I need a new line.
This one's been compromised.
Okay? Thank you.
I'll be waiting here
at the La Vaca Volando.
That's right.
The Flying Cow.
You really didn't see it coming,
did you?
Sorry, baby, I told you I wasn't
interested in your scheme.
Too small.
Oh, my Christ. Is that Barillo?
That's the new Barillo. The old Barillo
died in surgery a few hours ago.
What kind of cartel would have you
running its operation?
I'm his daughter.
You've been spying on my operation
for some time.
I feel it's only fair to warn you
that killing me is crossing the line...
...and you will have every marine
from here to Guantanamo Bay...
...up your keister, mister.
So just know that.
Fortunately for you, nothing you did
is worth dying over.
You have only seen too much.
We are going to make sure
that doesn't happen again.
On this day of the dead,
I offer you a chance for a new life.
That sounded a little extreme
for a parade.
Troops are coming up
from the south.
- Whose?
- Emiliano Marquez.
- Well, what do we do?
- We stay here. This place is fortified.
It's much easier to defend this place
than to chance going out in the open.
Nicholas? What are you talking
about, "fortified"? Come here!
Just stay clear of those windows, sir.
You let me handle it.
My name is Sheldon Jeffrey Sands.
I work for the Central
Intelligence Agency.
I set them up.
I watch them fall.
I'm living la vida loca.
No!
I'm terribly sorry about your
chewing gum, but listen.
I will give you this...
...if you'll be my eyes.
It's a dollar.
I meant...
...this.
I need you to take me
to the center of the city.
Is someone following you?
It's difficult for me to tell right now
because I'm having a bad day.
Do you see someone?
Yes, he's getting close.
Listen, have you ever seen
one of these?
Have you used one?
Don't ever,
because they're bad.
But what I need for you to do
is to aim this...
...at the bad man who's following us
and shoot him in the head.
Kill him?
Oh, yeah. Very matalo.
Close?
Okay. Smoke him.
Smoke the fucker. Just send him
straight to fucking Broadway.
What?
Okay. Come here.
Right or left?
Was that my right or your right?
Wrong man.
Sorry.
Look me in the eyes...
...and then kill me.
Good boy. Now you're thinking.
Take me to the center of the city,
where there will be even more dough.
For you...
for our daughter...
for Mexico.
In my past, I'd take on evil
from the bottom.
Now I realize...
...start at the top.
The president is a good man.
I'll go around back.
Meet me in five.
Watch him.
We could torture him.
He's FBI.
He's retired.
That doesn't count.
I was tortured once.
I didn't like it.
You know what the fucked up thing is?
They tore out my left nut.
That sort of turned me off of the
whole thing.
What should we do with him?
Let's go eat about it.
Hey Snow White, watch that
fucking pig.
Just lay low.
They'll leave us alone.
What the fuck?!
I don't like military.
Get out.
- Why are we stopping?
- We can't go further.
- Why not?
- Look out there. It's a coup d'etat!
I can't see, fuck-mook!
I have no eyes.
Well, then listen to it, fucker!
The military's throwing over the
presidency. All hell's broken loose.
You guys have to get out now.
Keep your money because
I'm not moving one inch.
Fuck! Now what?
- Do you know armor-piercing bullets?
- Yeah.
These are much better.
What do you want in life?
Good choice.
- You ready?
- Yeah.
Okay, let's go!
It's no longer safe to be here.
Let's go.
You have a meeting
with Gen. Marquez, sir.
It feels like you need
some protection, sir.
Who are you guys?
Sons of Mexico, sir.
Are we in front of the building?
Okay.
This is it, kid.
I don't hear you running.
Why would they want me dead?
I've done nothing but help them.
What are you talking about?
Let me show you something.
Look out there! You see?
Well, don't look too close, presidente.
But your people are out there
fighting for you, you understand?
Take off your jacket.
- This also?
- Yes.
Put this on.
What is this, payoff?
This is money someone paid
to kill you.
And now it's money
to save your life, presidente.
Here, get some tequila for yourself.
Leave here and lock the door.
Carolina?
She died.
Your daughter?
She died.
and you?
Dead.
and I?
Alive and well.
In hell.
Everything in its place...
You fucking little monkey.
Stand up.
See anything you like?
No.
Do you remember a man
named Archuleta?
Why?
I present to you Special Agent
Jorge Ramirez.
You tortured and murdered Agent
Archuleta. He was my partner.
He was also my friend.
Agent Ramirez, you have
to follow certain rules.
Oh, I'm retired.
Rules don't apply to me
any more than they do to you.
- Mr. Chambers.
- Yes, sir.
You're just going to stand there?
I'm afraid anything but standing's
gonna cost you extra.
You leave me no choice.
Did you get your man?
One of them.
If that isn't interagency cooperation,
I just don't know what is.
See you later.
Fuck you.
Are you okay?
I don't know.
You will be.
What do you want in life?
To be free...
Simple.
No.
DNA