Orange County (2002) Movie Script
Mr. Marcus Skinner...
care of the English department, | Stanford University.
Dear Mr. Skinner, | My name is Shaun Brumder...
and I think | you are a total genius.
I live in California...
in a place called Orange County.
A year ago, I was just | another Orange County surfer--
spending my days at the beach | with my buddies...
playing volleyball...
Spike it, Shaun!
and spending my nights | around a bonfire partying.
School was always a walk for me.
I did pretty well | without trying too hard.
Theres a tropical storm off Laguna.
Lets go, dude. | Surfs up.
I was easily distracted.
- What about next period? | - Twenty-footers. Screw your period.
Twenty-footers?
Then last April, me and my crew | drove out to Emerald Cove...
to catch some major tsunami waves.
I dont know, you guys.
Dude, face the fear.
This is intense!
Righteous.
Lonny always said he wanted to die | eating foam in a massive wipeout...
but I bet hes up in heaven | right now.
After Lonny drowned, | I did some heavy meditating.
I thought, maybe theres more to life | than extreme sports...
and trying to get laid.
Maybe theres | a bigger purpose for me...
and Ive just been too high | to figure it out.
I was sitting on the beach, | totally cogitating.
I looked down, and there, in the sand, | was a copy of your book.
It was like a sign, like your book | was calling out to me.
Read me.
For the next few days, | I read it from cover to cover.
Your book totally captured | what its like to be a teenager--
the excitement, the confusion, | the horniness.
Sometimes I laughed so hard, | I thought I was going to puke and die.
Other times, I cried.
Are you okay?
Its just so sad.
I read your book | 52 times that month...
and I finally realized | what I wanted to do with my life.
I want to be a writer.
Ive been writing ever since. | Its all I ever do.
All day and all night sometimes.
It was hard to get going, | but, once I did, I couldnt stop.
Im like a machine, | and nothing else matters.
Im selling my board. | I dont have time.
- I need to focus on my writing. | - What?
My friends think | Ive lost my mind.
Hes lost his mind.
Lets get lit and go jump off | the roof of my house.
Now youre talking.
I need some feedback, | and theres no one here to help me.
Got your story here. Wow.
I have the sneaking suspicion | that my English teacher is illiterate.
I noticed you used a lot of big words. | Nice. Good for you.
It was a little long, so I didnt | read the whole thing.
But who cares? | Cause I gave you an A.
My brother, Lance, is perpetually | recovering from the night before.
Im sorry. | I dont feel good.
My girlfriend is the only one | whos actually read my work.
But shes always so positive, | its hard to take her seriously.
Its, like, the best story | Ive ever read.
Really?
Its funny and original.
I mean...
I think it could be a movie.
I dont know if Orange County | is the best environment...
for an aspiring writer...
so Im applying to Stanford.
You are a shoo-in.
Do you think I should apply | to some safety schools?
No need. | Dont be a scaredy-cat.
Theres no doubt in my mind | youre gonna go to Berkeley.
Stanford.
Yes. Stanford is where | youre going, mister.
Im sending you | a copy of my story.
Hopefully, | with your wisdom and guidance...
I will one day be a real writer.
I look forward to seeing you | in the fall, Mr. Skinner.
Your greatest admirer, | Shaun Brumder.
Watch it, man.
What are you doing lying here?
My parole officer wants to give me | a drug test, and I need your urine.
Can I score some of your piss?
- Yeah. | - Awesome, man.
Bob?
Dont yell at me!
Are you okay?
Its my kitchen!
Mom. Hey, Mom.
- What? | - Somethings wrong with Bob.
- Did you feed him his pills today? | - I dont know. Is he okay?
You gotta remember | to feed him his pills.
Lupe, did you give Bob his pills?
Im not a nurse.
Youve got to get rid of her | right now, okay, baby?
She has a bad attitude, and shes-- | You stole my Palm Pilot.
You did. Admit it.
- Thats it. | - You did.
Yeah. Its over.
What? What happened? | Whatd she say?
Shes sorry, and she thinks | youre an incredible lady.
Listen, Mom, when the mail comes, | will you call me on my cell?
Cause Im supposed to hear | from Stanford today.
Okay.
Come on. Dont get upset, Mom.
All right? You knew this day | was gonna come.
Im just goin to college. | Its not like Im leaving the planet.
Mom, get a grip.
I wont.
Im going back to bed.
Check this out. | You gotta help us out.
- Dont call me a punk. | - Youre a punk.
You remember the night we all went | golfing and I paid for everyone?
- Cause stinge-king over here-- | - Who paid for parking?
I dont remember you ever paying | for anything in your sorry life.
Of course you dont remember | when someone else does.
Did you guys know | that its April 1 5?
A year ago today, Lonny died.
Hey, dude, thats true.
I cant believe | its been a whole year.
I was thinking that, you know...
maybe we should do something | in his memory.
We should pull a killer prank. | We should go jump off something.
Yeah, bro, or blow something up.
Maybe we should go to Emerald Cove | and have a surf in Lonnys memory.
Shaun doesnt surf anymore, stupid.
I forgot. He doesnt surf or skate | or pick his butt.
- Writer boy now. | - Whats up, Dr. Seuss? Cat in the Hat?
Principal Harbert, as you may know...
there was an oil spill last week | off the coast of Redondo.
Todays paper just says hundreds | of seagulls have been affected.
I propose a school-sponsored | fund-raiser...
with all the proceeds going to | the seagull rehabilitation fund.
As the community-service leader, | we would be morally remiss...
if we did nothing | for these seagulls.
Fine.
One more. Last one.
After this, well let all sick and | endangered animals die horrible deaths.
Agreed?
Now, people, | June is just around the corner.
Lets talk graduation speakers. | Ideas?
Toni Morrison.
Shes in town that same weekend | for a book signing.
Shes won the Nobel Prize.
Interesting.
Dana, didnt you say you have a cousin | whos friends with Britney Spears?
Yeah. Best friends.
Now when I say Romeo and Juliet, | who comes to mind?
- Dana? | - Claire Danes.
Thats right. Claire Danes. | Who else?
- Leonardo DiCaprio. | - Right. Who else?
You know, someone else | was involved in that movie...
who, in some ways, is as famous | as Leonardo DiCaprio.
And his names William Shakespeare...
and some great movies | are based on his plays.
Hamlet, West Side Story...
Talented Mr. Ripley, | Waterworld...
Gladiator, Chocolat.
Mr. Burke, as you know, my boyfriend | drowned in a surfing accident.
I dont think I can handle | Romeo and Juliet right now...
emotionally.
Tanya, Lonny died a year ago.
Sometimes it takes decades to recover | from a tragedy like this.
You only went out with him | for two weeks.
Your moms outside. | She says you got into Stanford!
Hello.
- Can you do me a favor? | - Who you lookin for?
Its Shaun.
Shaun, pick up the phone!
Hes not here.
What?
Will you please just go to the door | and tell me if the mails there?
Im begging you.
Fine, fine.
Do I have to turn on | your computer?
Just go to the front door.
The mail would be in the mailbox.
Okay.
You owe me one, buddy.
Yeah, its here.
Todays the big day, Gary.
- Wow! | - Look at me! Im--
Where is it?
Come on. Where is it? | Where is the mail?
- I dont know. | - Are you sitting on it?
Dude, I see it | on the floor.
Yeah.
Push him.
Im moving your chair.
This is it.
This is my future | right here in this envelope.
Hey, youre blocking the tube.
Sorry.
"We regret to inform you...
that your application to Stanford | University was not accepted."
Wait. What?
I didnt get in?
I didnt get in?
But--
I dont get it.
I dont unders--
Youre overreacting, dude.
I didnt get into college, | and check me out.
Im kick-ass.
Whats wrong?
Something horribles happened.
Is Bob dead?
Did something break?
I got rejected from Stanford.
Baby, Im sorry.
Its okay.
Im so sorry.
Youre just gonna have to go somewhere | closer to home. Thats all.
And you get to keep living here...
with Lance and Bob...
and me.
Okay, and are you | a student here?
Yes, Im a student here.
Im Shaun Brumder. | Im the class president.
And you didnt get into Stanford? | Too bad. Tough break.
Where else did you apply?
Nowhere. You told me | I was a shoo-in.
Nowhere. Not even a safety school?
You said shoo-in.
Calm down. Lets see what we can do.
Looks here like your GPA is-- | What, 2.5?
And your S.A.T.s combined are 940.
Thats low.
940? I had a 1 520.
It says 940.
Thats not my transcript. | Thats Shane Brainards transcript.
- And you are? | - Shaun Brumder.
You didnt?
You couldnt have.
You sent in the wrong transcript?
Whats up, Shane?
Hey, guys, I got into Stanford.
Cool.
I applied as a joke, | and they let me in.
Im freakin out.
- I didnt. | - Yes, you did.
- I didnt. | - Yes, you did!
You just dont throw accusations | around. This is nobodys fault.
Yes, it is. | Its your fault!
Youre screeching at me.
Because you are a moron! | Now listen to me, lady!
Code red! Code red!
Call 911! Code red!
Call 911!
Hey! Watch it.
I got into...
Yale.
I gotta get outta here.
I gotta get out of Orange County.
Where are you going?
Im going to my dads.
All right. Im gonna go in there | and Im gonna say to my dad...
that he abandoned our family, and, | if he wants to make it up to me...
then he can start now by making | a massive donation to Stanford.
Remember when the sea lions | beached themselves in Corona Del Mar...
and nobody | was doing anything about it?
Well, me getting all hysterical | didnt help anything.
This is it, Ashley.
Im gonna tell my dad | I wanna be a writer.
Hey.
Good luck.
Thanks.
- Who are you? | - Im Shaun.
Im your brother.
- What are you sucking on? | - My poody.
Well, arent you a little old | for a poody?
Jake.
What did you just do?
Go pick up your poody, | or youre gonna get a time-out.
Pick up your poody. | Thats it!
Rosa, take Jake upstairs | and give him some Ritalin.
I dont like your attitude!
I dont like your attitude!
Isnt he getting big?
So whats up with you? | You look great.
You really filled out-- | your arms and your chest.
- You been workin out? | - No.
Bud is getting so fat.
You should really talk to him.
Hes gonna have a heart attack.
Plus hes fat.
Goddamn it! | Are you trying to ruin me?
Yeah, where is my dad?
If you do this, | I will eat your face!
Come, my lady | Come, come, my lady
Youre my butterfly | sugar baby
My lady--
Puppy!
God! My God! Puppy!
A writer?
What do you have to write about? | Youre not oppressed. Youre not gay.
- Not all writers are gay. | - Theyre all poor.
Its not true. What about Tom Clancy,
Three people | in the history of literature.
The truth is | I dont care about making money.
I have a burst blood vessel | in my brain.
I could die at any moment, but I keep | plugging away day after day...
because I want to leave you with | something special-- a business...
a legacy.
- I want my poody! | - Hey, pal, control yourself.
Can you-- | Give me that back.
- I want my poody! | - Wheres your mother?
- Will you get in here! | - Yeah, Im coming!
- Can you get him out of here? | - Okay, okay.
- Doesnt he need a nap? | - Come here.
- We want him to learn some limits. | - Come on.
Stop it!
This is my lifes work here.
When I started out, I had nothing. | Now look at me.
Ive got 8 1 /2 million | square feet in Irvine alone.
Its a goddamn empire, | and I want to leave it to you.
This is the life I want for you.
But what about what I want?
You want to be a writer?
Before that, you wanted to be | a professional surfer...
so its a little hard | to take you seriously.
Fine. I dont want your money.
But just for the record, Dad, | youve never done anything for me.
Its always been about you.
What the--
Its over. I should just drive my car | into the ocean and get it over with.
Dont say that.
He was running across PCH. | He didnt have a tag.
Was I gonna leave him there? | Hed get killed.
- I have something to confess. | - What?
You know how you told me youd pray | youd get into Stanford?
Yeah.
The other night, | I prayed for something too.
What?
I prayed that you wouldnt | get into Stanford.
Why?
I didnt think | it was gonna work.
I was sitting here thinking, | whoa, my prayer was answered.
I should be happy.
I got into OCU, | and maybe you can go to OCU.
You can study creative writing, | and I can study marine biology...
and we can be together.
But I just started feeling | really guilty.
But I just started feeling | really guilty.
I mean, this was your dream, | and Im just being selfish.
I just feel awful.
This is not your fault.
I want to try | and make it up to you.
Thanks, but...
I really dont think | theres anything you can do.
Maybe there is. Tanyas grandfather | is on the board at Stanford.
And Tanyas my friend, | so maybe she can help us.
My grandfather is not gonna | bend over backwards for just anyone.
Please. Cant you just help us?
Cant you see Im busy?
Why dont you go | check on the dog?
Give him some water, okay? | Ill take care of this.
We need to have | a little chat.
Excuse me.
Look, Shauns my boyfriend, | and I would do anything for him...
even if that means | breaking a promise to you.
What promise?
Halloween. | Danas little brother.
- Everyone knows about that. | - Maybe.
But they dont know | about Lonnys memorial.
I miss Lonny.
Me too.
Hey, I miss Lonny too.
But you promised.
And prom night?
Hi, Grammy. Its Tanya.
Is Grandpa there?
You are so awesome.
- But, hey, we should go. | - Yeah.
-Tanyas grandfather wants to meet you. | -I want to meet him.
He and his wife are gonna | come by your house at 5:00.
- My house? | - Yeah.
Do you know | who lives at my house?
Yeah, thats right. | Just cover his whole head.
Who are you?
Im your wife. Cindy.
We met in Maui.
Hey, look. | Bobs still bleeding.
Whats this-- | What is-- My God!
He likes you. Yes. | We found him on PCH.
Get him out of the house. | I dont allow dogs in here.
But hes so sweet.
Call the Humane Society. | Theyll have him put to sleep.
Dont you think we should | put out some cheese and crackers?
Theyre gonna be here | in 1 5 minutes.
- Yeah, I know. | - Whos coming?
Mom, you might want to put on | something more, you know.
More what? More what?
Whats going on?
Whats happening?
Sit down. Sit down, okay?
Just sit. | Dont be nervous.
Someone very important is coming over, | and hes bringing his wife.
If he likes me, | hes gonna get me into Stanford.
- Theyre coming over now? | - Theyll be here in a couple minutes.
The house is a mess, | and Bob is bleeding.
You cant expect me to drop everything | and entertain these strangers.
Drop what? | What were you doing?
Look. This is my last chance | to get into Stanford.
I know, honey, | and its not a good day for me.
- I have to go to college. | - Why?
Because thats what you do | after high school.
Please dont do this to me. | Please dont sabotage me.
Every time I try to depend on you, | you start acting like a total lunatic.
Mom?
Mom?
Im sorry.
So now Im a bad mother.
Youre not. | Please just put on some clothes.
I sacrificed a lot for you. | I sacrificed Damian for you.
Your tennis instructor.
He was beautiful and Serbian!
When your father left, | I almost married him.
And if I had, wed be living in a condo, | clipping coupons and eating lunch meat.
So I didnt.
I married Bob for you.
I had sex with Bob four times | for you.
How can you say Im a bad mother?
Im not saying that.
- You know money cant buy happiness. | - Grow up. Yes, it can.
You and Dad both have money, | and youre both miserable.
Hes miserable? | Did he say that?
Mom, this is the most decisive | day of my life...
and all Im asking for is one hour-- | one hour with no big scenes...
and no nervous breakdowns | and no Meryl Streep impressions--
just one hour where you act | like a normal, loving parent.
Can you do this for me?
Yes, I can.
Thank you, Mom.
But Ill need a glass of wine. | Theres chardonnay in the fridge.
Okay. Ill be right back.
Dont move.
Im really nervous.
Dont be. | Everythings gonna be fine.
Theyre early.
Some very important people | are coming over.
- Stay in your room. | - Why?
- Because youre an embarrassment. | - Okay.
Theyre here.
I look like a pinata.
You look great. | Just remember what I said.
No big drunken scenes, okay?
Yeah.
Lupes with Bob, Lance is in his room | and Mom is dressed.
How do I look?
Very handsome.
- Now just--just be yourself. | - Okay.
Come on.
You must be Shaun.
Yes, sir. | Yes, sir, Mr. Gantner.
Please come in.
Mrs. Gantner. | Thank you for coming.
- This is my girlfriend Ashley. | - Hi.
- Nice to meet you. | - Hello.
- Youre friends with Tanya. | - Tanyas very upset by your situation.
I dont like it | when my granddaughter is upset.
Tanya has Arthur | wrapped around her little finger.
- Thats right. | - Hello!
Hello.
Hi. Im Cindy Almond-Beugler.
- Im Arthur Gantner. My wife Vera. | - How do you do?
Hello. Welcome.
Excuse me.
Wont you please | make yourselves at home?
Thank you. | Thank you. Thank--
So, tell us about yourself.
Well, Im a National Merit Scholar...
a straight-A student...
and I want to be a writer.
Do you like John Grisham? | I sure do.
Shauns also our class president...
and he was the representative | at our model UN.
Hes a fabulous kid, Mr. Gantner.
Arthur. Please. | Call me Arthur.
Even as a little boy, | he was so smart.
I miss those days.
The last few years | have been really hard.
I helped my former husband | start his business.
Soon as he gets a little money, | he starts screwing around on me.
My goodness.
He left me for a 20-year-old | he met at the gym.
I walked in on them at a motel.
Shes got him naked | and handcuffed to the bed.
So we divorced. | I remarried.
Then this new one, Bob...
he starts falling apart, and--
and its just one shit storm | after the other.
- Let us in! | - Hurry up!
- Hurry up! | - Come on!
Yo, bro.
We heard you tried | to kill Mrs. Cobb.
Are you on a violent rampage, dude?
What do you want?
All right, bro. | Check it out.
We thought, in Lonnys memory, | we could go down to Emerald Cove.
We could take his board | and push it out into the ocean.
- Or blow it up. | - Right.
That sounds like a great idea, | and well do it.
But I cant right now | cause I got important people over.
- More important than us, huh? | - No.
- More important than Lonny? | - Of course not.
- This is his birthday, man. | - Yeah, man.
Like, his death birthday. | Doesnt that mean anything to you?
Just go hang | with your little VIPs.
Sorry we intruded | on your tea party.
If you need us, well be out in | the van picking each others butts.
- Naked. | - Huh?
I visited Stanford in the fall. | Its a beautiful campus.
Isnt it lovely? | We go up there for football games.
And Arthur is on the board, so--
Excuse me. Sorry.
Have you seen my piss?
My parole officer called. | He wants that piss.
I know I got it around here.
Dont you see | that we have company?
Hey, whats up? | There it is.
I am so sorry.
Somebodys gotta fill this up, | or Im going to jail.
Would you just | get out of here!
Fine.
Id like to "protose" a toast.
Shaun has been a wonderful son...
and I want him to be happy.
Im going to be all alone.
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Dear God!
Pills!
Mom, you didnt give Bob | his medication.
Excuse me for a minute.
Dude!
Dude! Where are Bobs pain pills?
This is Excedrin.
Its a decoy. | I put my stash in aspirin bottles.
Yellow are painkillers. | They go in the Excedrin.
Listen to me, all right?
I need Bobs pain pills.
Bob doesnt have any pain pills. | I sold them, but these are good.
Wait. Yellow are not painkillers.
What are they? Speed. Theyre the X. | Painkillers are in the Tylenol.
Give him one of these. | Itll knock him right out.
Wait. Please. | Where are you going?
You people are sick.
Your mothers a drunk. | Your brothers a pervert.
Shame on you | for abusing an old man.
Shame on you | for abusing an old man.
Hes fine. | Tell them youre fine.
I know how this looks, but I do | everything I can for Bob.
- I love Bob. | - Hey!
Stanford is for the best | and the brightest--
the future leaders of America.
Youll never go to Stanford...
as long as I have | a breath in my body.
Watch your fingers.
What happened?
You went for a ride.
Are you okay?
I got ya, buddy!
You should sue, man. | This isnt right. Sue the school.
Shut up.
Just go to Stanford anyway. | Go there and take the classes.
Dont take "no" for an answer. | Just say, Im goin here. Kiss my ass.
- Thats a good idea. | - What?
I should go up to Stanford.
If I talk with the dean of admissions | and tell him my situation...
hes gotta let me in.
I can get you there in three hours.
Youre getting into Stanford. | I know it!
Thanks, man.
I have a question for you. | I got something to say.
Im gonna do something with my life. | Yeah, man.
Good.
I got these ideas. | I got so many ideas.
Theyre burning | through my skull, buddy.
I dont know, like, | hats and shirts.
Like Stussy. | Do you know what?
Stussy got started out making | hats and shirts for surfers in Hawaii.
Now hes, like, a millionaire. | He parties in Hawaii 24-7!
I could do something like that, | dont you think?
Like a fuckin shirt | that says "Loser."
Or I dont know. "Talk to the hand" | or something like that.
Those would sell.
Or-- I dont know. | I got these ideas.
Like a hat, | a big hat that goes--
Watch the road, dumb ass!
People have written me off. | Do you know that?
People have written me off, | like Dad for one.
Just keep your eyes on the road.
Dude, Im gonna have | the last laugh...
because heres why.
Some little chumps go to college. | Some little chumps stay home.
Some little chumps eat roast beef. | Some little chumps have none.
This chumps gonna cry "wee wee wee" | all the way to the biz-neck.
- You know what Im sayin?
- I love you, dude. | - I love you too.
We dont say it enough. | Its true, and its not the drugs.
- Hi. | - Hi.
I need to talk | to the dean of admissions.
Well, its 1 0:30 at night, | so hes not here right now.
I know, but, you see, | this is an emergency.
Im sure. Youll have | to come back tomorrow though.
Could you maybe just | give us his phone number?
What? His phone number?
Please, you guys, | cut me some slack.
Come back tomorrow, all right? | Were closed.
Thats such crap.
That is such crap. | Screw her.
You know what? | Screw her.
- You cold? Want my jacket? | - Thank you.
Man! She thinks shes so smart | cause she goes to Stanford.
Well, Im smart too. | Im gonna pull a MacGyver.
I will break in through a window, | Ill look around and find a--
What do you call that thing?
Directory. | You stay here.
Im gonna be back in 15 minutes | with the directory.
Reconnoiter. 15.
The deans probably listed. | You could just call information.
Hey, what are you doing?
Hey, cutie.
What do you want?
Well...
the question is...
what do you want?
Listen...
do you want me to call | public safety?
Do you want me to get naked | and start the revolution?
Ill take that as a maybe.
- Yes? | - Mr. Durkett?
- Youre such a liar! | - Girls! I told you. Knock it off!
- Dad, Stephanie stole my flip-flops. | - So deal with it, Gina. Go.
- Yes? | - Liar!
Im Shaun Brumder. I need | to talk to you about my application.
Its late. I gotta get up | for a 7:00 flight.
Theres been a big mistake.
Im sorry. Theres nothing I can do. | Good night.
Yes?
Look, we drove all the way here | from Orange County.
Cant you just give us | five minutes of your time? Please.
Okay. You have five minutes. Go.
Okay. Stanford University | was my first choice.
I didnt even apply | to any other schools.
My college counsellor | sent you the wrong transcript.
Show me your transcript.
I left it in the car. | Ill go get it.
- Please dont go anywhere. | - Okay.
Don.
- What? | - Where are our bathing suits?
Theres a green-mesh dive bag | on the floor of my closet.
Just look in there.
Who are these people? | Get rid of them.
Could I have one of those?
Yeah.
Thank you. | My head is killing me.
Take two or three.
Thank you.
You can just have | the whole bottle.
When youre done down there, | I need help closing my suitcase.
Okay. Ill be up in five minutes.
Coming.
Oh, come on.
Jesus. You look like a beast.
Wheres Shaun? | I need to talk to him.
- Stanford. Hes having a crisis. | - I know all about it.
Youre such a good father, | so good to your kids.
I need a drink. | Do you have any beer, coyote ugly?
This is an excellent transcript.
You should be very proud, | but what can I tell you?
If Id had this by January 21 , | you might have had a shot.
I need you.
Excuse me.
What is the big deal?
Hes gonna say no.
Hey, dont let him say no.
Its gonna be fine.
Okay. Thanks.
So whats up with your brother | and aspirin?
Does he get a lot of headaches, | or what?
What is that smell? | What am I sitting in?
Relax. Its just urine.
Your son was being a real brat today, | a real pain in the ass.
- My son. | - He said I was selfish.
He said that everythings | always about me.
He called me a drama queen, | said I was trying to sabotage him.
So, hows Bob?
Hows whats her face?
Shes sleeping around.
I cant talk to her. | She doesnt play tennis.
Shes not a good mother. | Shes not like you.
Want another beer?
Look.
Sometimes I leave the office | at the end of the day...
and I get into my car | and head home...
and, 1 5 minutes later, Im here-- | parked in front of this house.
Its annoying. | Its totally out of my way.
I made a mistake. Im tired of | paying for it. I want you back.
Youre such an asshole.
Which ones were they?
- Excedrin? | - Excedrin. Okay.
Excedrin are pain pills.
- Pain pills. | - Oh, my God!
What?
We just gave the dean of admissions | three hits of--
Where were we?
Well, Mr. Durkett, to me...
Stanfords not just a school.
Its my entire reason | for living.
Every night, before I went to bed, | Id pray that Id get into Stanford.
And I worked really hard.
And when all my friends | were out having fun...
I stayed in and I studied.
Thats good. | Thats what you have to do.
Eighty-two percent--
Wait a second.
I like you. | Whats your name?
I like you.
I do. I dont know why.
I just like you.
Thanks.
I feel so good.
Is it me, or is it, like, | hotter than hell in here?
Can you help me?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yes. Yes, I can.
Theres no time. | Im leaving.
Im going to Bali | with my family.
I love them so much.
I need water or--
I need to lie down.
Hey, before you do that--
Youre my same height. | That is neat.
It is. | Lets go to your office...
and you can add my name | to the acceptance list...
before you leave for Bali.
Sounds good.
Man!
The lights are, like, vivid.
Well, its a beautiful night.
- Youre so beautiful. | - Thank you.
You know, I really appreciate this.
Thats okay...
cause I feel like | Ive known you forever.
Hey!
I have a confession.
I never went to college.
Its overrated.
My brother wants | to go here next year.
Well, I hope hes on this list.
Whats that?
Its a list of people | theyve accepted.
They rejected him, the jerks.
Dont do that.
When I was little, | I was a total pyro.
I was too.
Put that out, man.
- Put it out. | - Whoa!
- Who are you people? | - Im Shaun Brumder.
Youre going to help me | get into Stanford.
And were at your office.
Oh, my God!
Do me a favor. Back that engine out. | We got a knockdown.
Thats negatory, Julio. | I need you to wedge that popper.
Hey! Whats your name?
-Joe--John. | - What is it?
Joe John.
- Your names "Joe John"? | -Johnston.
Johnston, Joe.
You wanna tell me | what happened here?
Just a fire. | I dont know.
I came by and was...
checking out the fire.
Well, that lady, Mona...
said that you two were in | the building when the fire started.
Yeah, shes a liar,
So whatever she says is a lie.
Youre saying you werent | in the building with that woman?
Not I. All right.
She started it, all right? | Because she was, like...
"I hate my job! | Im gonna burn this mother down!"
I said, "You better not! | Youd better not!"
- She said it was an electrical fire. | - It was.
It was a total electrical fire. | It was, like...
the switches had sparks coming out,
- It was like the Fourth of July. | - Why arent you wearing your pants?
I tripped and--
Then I had to take em off | to run faster out of the flames.
I think I inhaled some smoke.
Will you excuse me one second?
Ill be right back.
Weve a got a sprinter. | Five-foot-five, no pants...
unkempt, portly.
- Youll be fine. | - Wait a second.
This guy thinks | hes the dean of admissions.
Shaun, so psychedelic.
Buddy, I light one match, | and the building blows up.
I was just trying to help you, bro.
By setting the building on fire?
Well, I was high.
Youre always high. | Youre a drugged-out loser.
You think youre gonna create | a T-shirt company?
You cant even dress yourself.
Harsh.
Shaun, Im so sorry.
I shouldve seen this coming.
The one day I need my family | to come through for me...
they end up doing | what they always do.
My father goes ballistic, | my mother gets plastered...
and my brother | burns down a building.
Its like | theyve all come together...
in some evil conspiracy | to prevent me from getting anywhere.
Is that what you think?
What else am I supposed to think?
You know, I really believed that | you wanted to go to Stanford...
because you wanted to study | with Marcus Skinner.
- Thats not it, is it? | - What are you talking about?
You want to run away.
You want to be free of everybody.
You think by coming up here, | youre gonna meet people that are...
smarter and saner...
and better.
You know, if you went to Stanford, | thatd be the end of us.
And it doesnt seem to me like | that thoughts ever crossed your mind.
Ashley, come on!
Shaun, Im sorry | you didnt get into Stanford.
But if you think going here...
is the only way you can be | the person you want to be...
then I just feel sorry for you.
Whats going on? | What are you doing in that bathrobe?
Im not gonna lie to you.
Did you sleep with your ex-wife?
I want a divorce.
Really?
You can have the house.
Really? What about Jake?
I thought we could share custody.
Okay. Great.
But can you take him tonight?
Theres this new club in Newport thats | supposed to be totally bitchin.
Oh, okay.
Thanks, Bud.
So you have my pager number | and my cell phone number.
If you need me just call me. | And I think this is a great idea.
Good.
- Later. | - Later.
What are you reading?
Faulkner.
Great writer.
Yeah. Sure.
Youre an English major?
No. I dont even go here.
So youre just visiting?
I should probably go.
It was nice meeting you.
Im going to a party.
You wanna maybe | come check it out?
So do you like Faulkner?
Hes okay. | I mean, hes kind of boring.
I think I might just get | the "Cliff Notes."
There are some serious cuties | at this party.
And lock me up, | because I am horny!
Guys, this is Shaun.
Oh, my God! | This is our song!
Scrabble? I love Scrabble.
Last time I played, actually, | I threw down the word "mazer."
Its a type | of small cherry tree.
I even got 50 bonus points.
So, you dont look familiar. | Are you a freshman?
No, not even. | Im still in high school.
- Did you apply to Stanford, or-- | - No, no.
Im going to | Orange County University.
- Thats where Im from. | - Ive heard of Orange County.
I love it there. | The weathers great, people are nice.
I really want to be | a marine biologist...
so its really the perfect place | for me to study.
What about you?
Im a comparative literature major. | I want to be a writer.
Fiction, poetry, screenplays, | whatever, you know.
Actually, I have an idea | for a TV show.
Its about vampires, ostensibly. | But underneath...
its actually about | the reunification of Germany.
But its funny.
My boyfriend wants | to be a writer too.
Your boyfriend?
Yeah, Shaun.
Hes really talented.
He wrote this great story...
about growing up | in Orange County.
And its just | really funny and smart.
But it doesnt really matter | what I think, so--
Why not?
Whats up?
Is this your boyfriend?
What are you, like, | spying on me?
No! I was--
I was just up on the balcony...
and--
Yeah, I was spying on you. | Whos this?
Im Kip.
Yeah, Kip. Lets go inside | where we can be alone.
Come on, Ash.
Mr. Skinner?
Youre Marcus Skinner.
Youre a good writer.
Thank you.
Im obsessed with you, | Mr. Skinner.
Not in a sexual way or romantic way | or anything like that.
Just your writing.
Im Shaun Brumder. I wrote you | a letter a couple of months ago...
and I sent you | one of my stories.
"Orange County."
Yeah!
Yeah, wait. | Did you read it?
Oh, yes. Yeah. | It was a great story.
I cant--
Im sorry.
Its been a long day.
Could you just say what you | just said just one more time?
It was a great story. | I really enjoyed it.
Mr. Skinner--
Dude...
you have no idea | what that means to me.
The characters are unique--
well drawn.
The mother-- drunk...
arguing with all the maids.
The brother-- | always passing out everywhere.
And I love the girlfriend-- | the bleeding heart animal freak.
She was my favorite.
You really love your characters. | It comes through in the writing.
Well, thank you.
I never really | thought about it that way.
My only criticism--
Yes. Oh, please. | Its what I need.
You need an ending.
I know. I just-- | I dont know how to end it.
You should figure that out.
Maybe I can help you.
Well, I didnt get into Stanford.
Yeah, so that means | I cant work with you.
I want to be a good writer, | Mr. Skinner...
but Im just afraid...
that if I dont get out | of Orange County...
its never gonna happen.
You dont have to be afraid of that. | You are a good writer.
And every good writer | has a conflicted relationship...
with the place where he grew up--
Joyce, Faulkner, Tolstoy.
And thats what I remember | loving about your story.
Its very conflicted.
Cause at the beginning, | you think these people are doomed.
I mean, this family is heading | for disaster, and then...
as you read on, | you see that there exists...
beneath the surface, | these very real connections.
These deep relationships.
What I took | from your story is this--
that even in a world | where people can be superficial...
and stupid and selfish...
theres still hope.
Was that the message | you were trying for?
Over here.
- Sorry. | - Ow!
- God! | - Sorry.
- God! Lance! | - Im sorry. Its just a nick.
Dude, you will never believe | who I just met.
- Who? | - Marcus Skinner.
- I met Marcus Skinner! | - What? Who?
The writer. | He liked my story!
- He liked my story! | - Shut up!
Thats awesome, | but I am going to prison!
- What? | - Some cops are right on my ass.
Listen, Ive been thinking about it. | We are going to Mexico, buddy.
Right now! | Please?
Oh, God.
All right, fine. Were leaving. | But we gotta get Ashley first.
No, Im sorry. | No, thats not in the cards, Broseph.
Listen, shell be fine. | Just forget about her.
Some dudell pick her up | and give her a nice bed to sleep in.
- Lance. | - Okay!
We will go and get her. | But you gotta follow me...
cause I am an expert at "excaping."
Lets go. Fast "excape." | Fast "excapes" are my expertise.
Come on!
Be careful.
Follow me.
Lance, are you okay?
Go get the Bronco, Shaun, | and come back for me.
- Okay. | - Dude?
Promise me, dude.
I promise.
The whole time Im thinking | its the alternator.
My bro says to me, | "No, bro, its the carburettor."
It turned out he was right.
- Would you get in the car? | - Im mad at you, remember?
I know, but can we talk | about it in the car, please?
Hey, you heard her. | Why dont you leave her alone?
Butt out, dude. | Ashley, get in the car right now.
Shaun, apologize to her. | Tell her youre sorry.
Im sorry!
Dude, come on.
Im so sorry.
Now tell her you love her.
Tell her you love her.
I love you.
I love you so much.
Good. You love him. | He loves you. Now get in...
the damn Bronco!
Ashley, now! Now!
Now!
Kip, it was really nice | to meet you.
Get in the car!
What?
Lance isnt gonna be able | to hear anything.
Hes passed out. | Hes not gonna wake up. I promise.
Okay, you dont believe me? | Lance. Lance!
See? Nothing. | Hes out cold.
Like a light. | Come on.
Itll be fine. | I promise, okay?
Clearly, youre not an expert | on negotiations...
so let me walk you through this.
You come in with a proposal | thats over the top.
You want a new gymnasium--
Then I counter with a lowball offer, | like $2,000 for a medicine ball.
- That is absurd and offensive. | - What?
Its offensive, sir. | Stanford University doesnt--
- We already have a medicine ball. | - Youre not hearing me.
- I believe its you whos not-- | - Youre not hearing me!
Drink your milk.
I dont want milk. | I want my poody.
Well, your poodys been retired.
Youre a little big for-- | Where are you going?
What--
You dont want the milk? | Fine. You want some juice?
Yes. Okay.
Go to the fridge, open it up | and get yourself some.
And get some for me | while youre at it.
Youre helpful. | Finally, some help around here.
Hey, guys, whats up?
Hey, whats up, dude? | Hey, dude, check this out.
Last night | we were at this party...
and little Arlo here decides to | profess his undying love for me.
Did I tell you | he was a fruitcake or what?
Thats not true. | This is the real story, dude.
Chad crashed at my house, right?
And I woke up in the night. | He was fondling my--
Dude, I lost my keys. | I was looking for em.
- Do you guys want to come in? | - All right.
- What are you doing here? | - Hello, everybody.
- Hey, Bob. | - How was your trip?
It was okay.
Just come back with an offer.
Well, we dont have to | dot the Is and cross the Ts.
You have your people, | I have my people.
Ill call you back. | My kids just walked in the door.
Hi, guys.
Dad, what--
Mom, what is going on?
Something happened last night.
Your mother and I, we--
Well--
You banged Mom?
Thats not the word | I would use, but...
yes, we came together.
- Are you serious? | - Guess what else we did?
Ive been on the phone | all morning with Stanford.
Your mother and I donated the money | for a new admissions building.
I guess the old one burned down.
We got you into Stanford, Shaun.
- You did that for me? | - Yeah.
Really?
- Yeah, bro, way to go, man. | - Were stoked, dude.
Stanford!
Congratulations, Shaun. | Thats-- That is awesome.
I was just up in my room | thinking about Faulkner...
and wondering if he had left | the South...
would he have ever written a | Light in August?
Or what if James Joyce | had left Ireland?
Well, I mean, he did leave Ireland, | but not in his heart.
Do you see what | Im getting at here?
I dont need to go to Stanford | to be a writer.
All I need are | the people who inspire me...
Like my friends...
and my family....
and you.
So Im gonna stay. | Im gonna stay in Orange County.
You are!
Stanford sucks!
"Dear Mr. Skinner, | Im writing you to say thank you...
for all your words of wisdom.
It took me a while, | but I finally realized...
Orange County | is the perfect environment...
for an aspiring writer.
Today I went down to the beach | with a copy of your book.
I left it there by the water.
Maybe another mixed-up kid | will stumble upon it.
And maybe it will change his life | like it changed mine.
Later, Mr. Skinner.
Yours truly, Shaun Brumder. "
Dude, dont touch! | Im lighting the fire.
It was my idea, | and youre an idiot.
Youre gonna blow off your hand. | Give me the lighter.
Dude, Lonny would have wanted me | to blow up his board, dude.
- Lonny thought you were a tool. | - Lonny thought you were a fool.
- Hey, guys, what are you doing? | - Gonna blow up Lonnys board, man.
- Its gonna be explosive. | - We got so many M-80s.
Its gonna be like | the Fourth of July.
- Dude, what are you doing? | - Im going surfing!
All right!
Come on! Lets go!
care of the English department, | Stanford University.
Dear Mr. Skinner, | My name is Shaun Brumder...
and I think | you are a total genius.
I live in California...
in a place called Orange County.
A year ago, I was just | another Orange County surfer--
spending my days at the beach | with my buddies...
playing volleyball...
Spike it, Shaun!
and spending my nights | around a bonfire partying.
School was always a walk for me.
I did pretty well | without trying too hard.
Theres a tropical storm off Laguna.
Lets go, dude. | Surfs up.
I was easily distracted.
- What about next period? | - Twenty-footers. Screw your period.
Twenty-footers?
Then last April, me and my crew | drove out to Emerald Cove...
to catch some major tsunami waves.
I dont know, you guys.
Dude, face the fear.
This is intense!
Righteous.
Lonny always said he wanted to die | eating foam in a massive wipeout...
but I bet hes up in heaven | right now.
After Lonny drowned, | I did some heavy meditating.
I thought, maybe theres more to life | than extreme sports...
and trying to get laid.
Maybe theres | a bigger purpose for me...
and Ive just been too high | to figure it out.
I was sitting on the beach, | totally cogitating.
I looked down, and there, in the sand, | was a copy of your book.
It was like a sign, like your book | was calling out to me.
Read me.
For the next few days, | I read it from cover to cover.
Your book totally captured | what its like to be a teenager--
the excitement, the confusion, | the horniness.
Sometimes I laughed so hard, | I thought I was going to puke and die.
Other times, I cried.
Are you okay?
Its just so sad.
I read your book | 52 times that month...
and I finally realized | what I wanted to do with my life.
I want to be a writer.
Ive been writing ever since. | Its all I ever do.
All day and all night sometimes.
It was hard to get going, | but, once I did, I couldnt stop.
Im like a machine, | and nothing else matters.
Im selling my board. | I dont have time.
- I need to focus on my writing. | - What?
My friends think | Ive lost my mind.
Hes lost his mind.
Lets get lit and go jump off | the roof of my house.
Now youre talking.
I need some feedback, | and theres no one here to help me.
Got your story here. Wow.
I have the sneaking suspicion | that my English teacher is illiterate.
I noticed you used a lot of big words. | Nice. Good for you.
It was a little long, so I didnt | read the whole thing.
But who cares? | Cause I gave you an A.
My brother, Lance, is perpetually | recovering from the night before.
Im sorry. | I dont feel good.
My girlfriend is the only one | whos actually read my work.
But shes always so positive, | its hard to take her seriously.
Its, like, the best story | Ive ever read.
Really?
Its funny and original.
I mean...
I think it could be a movie.
I dont know if Orange County | is the best environment...
for an aspiring writer...
so Im applying to Stanford.
You are a shoo-in.
Do you think I should apply | to some safety schools?
No need. | Dont be a scaredy-cat.
Theres no doubt in my mind | youre gonna go to Berkeley.
Stanford.
Yes. Stanford is where | youre going, mister.
Im sending you | a copy of my story.
Hopefully, | with your wisdom and guidance...
I will one day be a real writer.
I look forward to seeing you | in the fall, Mr. Skinner.
Your greatest admirer, | Shaun Brumder.
Watch it, man.
What are you doing lying here?
My parole officer wants to give me | a drug test, and I need your urine.
Can I score some of your piss?
- Yeah. | - Awesome, man.
Bob?
Dont yell at me!
Are you okay?
Its my kitchen!
Mom. Hey, Mom.
- What? | - Somethings wrong with Bob.
- Did you feed him his pills today? | - I dont know. Is he okay?
You gotta remember | to feed him his pills.
Lupe, did you give Bob his pills?
Im not a nurse.
Youve got to get rid of her | right now, okay, baby?
She has a bad attitude, and shes-- | You stole my Palm Pilot.
You did. Admit it.
- Thats it. | - You did.
Yeah. Its over.
What? What happened? | Whatd she say?
Shes sorry, and she thinks | youre an incredible lady.
Listen, Mom, when the mail comes, | will you call me on my cell?
Cause Im supposed to hear | from Stanford today.
Okay.
Come on. Dont get upset, Mom.
All right? You knew this day | was gonna come.
Im just goin to college. | Its not like Im leaving the planet.
Mom, get a grip.
I wont.
Im going back to bed.
Check this out. | You gotta help us out.
- Dont call me a punk. | - Youre a punk.
You remember the night we all went | golfing and I paid for everyone?
- Cause stinge-king over here-- | - Who paid for parking?
I dont remember you ever paying | for anything in your sorry life.
Of course you dont remember | when someone else does.
Did you guys know | that its April 1 5?
A year ago today, Lonny died.
Hey, dude, thats true.
I cant believe | its been a whole year.
I was thinking that, you know...
maybe we should do something | in his memory.
We should pull a killer prank. | We should go jump off something.
Yeah, bro, or blow something up.
Maybe we should go to Emerald Cove | and have a surf in Lonnys memory.
Shaun doesnt surf anymore, stupid.
I forgot. He doesnt surf or skate | or pick his butt.
- Writer boy now. | - Whats up, Dr. Seuss? Cat in the Hat?
Principal Harbert, as you may know...
there was an oil spill last week | off the coast of Redondo.
Todays paper just says hundreds | of seagulls have been affected.
I propose a school-sponsored | fund-raiser...
with all the proceeds going to | the seagull rehabilitation fund.
As the community-service leader, | we would be morally remiss...
if we did nothing | for these seagulls.
Fine.
One more. Last one.
After this, well let all sick and | endangered animals die horrible deaths.
Agreed?
Now, people, | June is just around the corner.
Lets talk graduation speakers. | Ideas?
Toni Morrison.
Shes in town that same weekend | for a book signing.
Shes won the Nobel Prize.
Interesting.
Dana, didnt you say you have a cousin | whos friends with Britney Spears?
Yeah. Best friends.
Now when I say Romeo and Juliet, | who comes to mind?
- Dana? | - Claire Danes.
Thats right. Claire Danes. | Who else?
- Leonardo DiCaprio. | - Right. Who else?
You know, someone else | was involved in that movie...
who, in some ways, is as famous | as Leonardo DiCaprio.
And his names William Shakespeare...
and some great movies | are based on his plays.
Hamlet, West Side Story...
Talented Mr. Ripley, | Waterworld...
Gladiator, Chocolat.
Mr. Burke, as you know, my boyfriend | drowned in a surfing accident.
I dont think I can handle | Romeo and Juliet right now...
emotionally.
Tanya, Lonny died a year ago.
Sometimes it takes decades to recover | from a tragedy like this.
You only went out with him | for two weeks.
Your moms outside. | She says you got into Stanford!
Hello.
- Can you do me a favor? | - Who you lookin for?
Its Shaun.
Shaun, pick up the phone!
Hes not here.
What?
Will you please just go to the door | and tell me if the mails there?
Im begging you.
Fine, fine.
Do I have to turn on | your computer?
Just go to the front door.
The mail would be in the mailbox.
Okay.
You owe me one, buddy.
Yeah, its here.
Todays the big day, Gary.
- Wow! | - Look at me! Im--
Where is it?
Come on. Where is it? | Where is the mail?
- I dont know. | - Are you sitting on it?
Dude, I see it | on the floor.
Yeah.
Push him.
Im moving your chair.
This is it.
This is my future | right here in this envelope.
Hey, youre blocking the tube.
Sorry.
"We regret to inform you...
that your application to Stanford | University was not accepted."
Wait. What?
I didnt get in?
I didnt get in?
But--
I dont get it.
I dont unders--
Youre overreacting, dude.
I didnt get into college, | and check me out.
Im kick-ass.
Whats wrong?
Something horribles happened.
Is Bob dead?
Did something break?
I got rejected from Stanford.
Baby, Im sorry.
Its okay.
Im so sorry.
Youre just gonna have to go somewhere | closer to home. Thats all.
And you get to keep living here...
with Lance and Bob...
and me.
Okay, and are you | a student here?
Yes, Im a student here.
Im Shaun Brumder. | Im the class president.
And you didnt get into Stanford? | Too bad. Tough break.
Where else did you apply?
Nowhere. You told me | I was a shoo-in.
Nowhere. Not even a safety school?
You said shoo-in.
Calm down. Lets see what we can do.
Looks here like your GPA is-- | What, 2.5?
And your S.A.T.s combined are 940.
Thats low.
940? I had a 1 520.
It says 940.
Thats not my transcript. | Thats Shane Brainards transcript.
- And you are? | - Shaun Brumder.
You didnt?
You couldnt have.
You sent in the wrong transcript?
Whats up, Shane?
Hey, guys, I got into Stanford.
Cool.
I applied as a joke, | and they let me in.
Im freakin out.
- I didnt. | - Yes, you did.
- I didnt. | - Yes, you did!
You just dont throw accusations | around. This is nobodys fault.
Yes, it is. | Its your fault!
Youre screeching at me.
Because you are a moron! | Now listen to me, lady!
Code red! Code red!
Call 911! Code red!
Call 911!
Hey! Watch it.
I got into...
Yale.
I gotta get outta here.
I gotta get out of Orange County.
Where are you going?
Im going to my dads.
All right. Im gonna go in there | and Im gonna say to my dad...
that he abandoned our family, and, | if he wants to make it up to me...
then he can start now by making | a massive donation to Stanford.
Remember when the sea lions | beached themselves in Corona Del Mar...
and nobody | was doing anything about it?
Well, me getting all hysterical | didnt help anything.
This is it, Ashley.
Im gonna tell my dad | I wanna be a writer.
Hey.
Good luck.
Thanks.
- Who are you? | - Im Shaun.
Im your brother.
- What are you sucking on? | - My poody.
Well, arent you a little old | for a poody?
Jake.
What did you just do?
Go pick up your poody, | or youre gonna get a time-out.
Pick up your poody. | Thats it!
Rosa, take Jake upstairs | and give him some Ritalin.
I dont like your attitude!
I dont like your attitude!
Isnt he getting big?
So whats up with you? | You look great.
You really filled out-- | your arms and your chest.
- You been workin out? | - No.
Bud is getting so fat.
You should really talk to him.
Hes gonna have a heart attack.
Plus hes fat.
Goddamn it! | Are you trying to ruin me?
Yeah, where is my dad?
If you do this, | I will eat your face!
Come, my lady | Come, come, my lady
Youre my butterfly | sugar baby
My lady--
Puppy!
God! My God! Puppy!
A writer?
What do you have to write about? | Youre not oppressed. Youre not gay.
- Not all writers are gay. | - Theyre all poor.
Its not true. What about Tom Clancy,
Three people | in the history of literature.
The truth is | I dont care about making money.
I have a burst blood vessel | in my brain.
I could die at any moment, but I keep | plugging away day after day...
because I want to leave you with | something special-- a business...
a legacy.
- I want my poody! | - Hey, pal, control yourself.
Can you-- | Give me that back.
- I want my poody! | - Wheres your mother?
- Will you get in here! | - Yeah, Im coming!
- Can you get him out of here? | - Okay, okay.
- Doesnt he need a nap? | - Come here.
- We want him to learn some limits. | - Come on.
Stop it!
This is my lifes work here.
When I started out, I had nothing. | Now look at me.
Ive got 8 1 /2 million | square feet in Irvine alone.
Its a goddamn empire, | and I want to leave it to you.
This is the life I want for you.
But what about what I want?
You want to be a writer?
Before that, you wanted to be | a professional surfer...
so its a little hard | to take you seriously.
Fine. I dont want your money.
But just for the record, Dad, | youve never done anything for me.
Its always been about you.
What the--
Its over. I should just drive my car | into the ocean and get it over with.
Dont say that.
He was running across PCH. | He didnt have a tag.
Was I gonna leave him there? | Hed get killed.
- I have something to confess. | - What?
You know how you told me youd pray | youd get into Stanford?
Yeah.
The other night, | I prayed for something too.
What?
I prayed that you wouldnt | get into Stanford.
Why?
I didnt think | it was gonna work.
I was sitting here thinking, | whoa, my prayer was answered.
I should be happy.
I got into OCU, | and maybe you can go to OCU.
You can study creative writing, | and I can study marine biology...
and we can be together.
But I just started feeling | really guilty.
But I just started feeling | really guilty.
I mean, this was your dream, | and Im just being selfish.
I just feel awful.
This is not your fault.
I want to try | and make it up to you.
Thanks, but...
I really dont think | theres anything you can do.
Maybe there is. Tanyas grandfather | is on the board at Stanford.
And Tanyas my friend, | so maybe she can help us.
My grandfather is not gonna | bend over backwards for just anyone.
Please. Cant you just help us?
Cant you see Im busy?
Why dont you go | check on the dog?
Give him some water, okay? | Ill take care of this.
We need to have | a little chat.
Excuse me.
Look, Shauns my boyfriend, | and I would do anything for him...
even if that means | breaking a promise to you.
What promise?
Halloween. | Danas little brother.
- Everyone knows about that. | - Maybe.
But they dont know | about Lonnys memorial.
I miss Lonny.
Me too.
Hey, I miss Lonny too.
But you promised.
And prom night?
Hi, Grammy. Its Tanya.
Is Grandpa there?
You are so awesome.
- But, hey, we should go. | - Yeah.
-Tanyas grandfather wants to meet you. | -I want to meet him.
He and his wife are gonna | come by your house at 5:00.
- My house? | - Yeah.
Do you know | who lives at my house?
Yeah, thats right. | Just cover his whole head.
Who are you?
Im your wife. Cindy.
We met in Maui.
Hey, look. | Bobs still bleeding.
Whats this-- | What is-- My God!
He likes you. Yes. | We found him on PCH.
Get him out of the house. | I dont allow dogs in here.
But hes so sweet.
Call the Humane Society. | Theyll have him put to sleep.
Dont you think we should | put out some cheese and crackers?
Theyre gonna be here | in 1 5 minutes.
- Yeah, I know. | - Whos coming?
Mom, you might want to put on | something more, you know.
More what? More what?
Whats going on?
Whats happening?
Sit down. Sit down, okay?
Just sit. | Dont be nervous.
Someone very important is coming over, | and hes bringing his wife.
If he likes me, | hes gonna get me into Stanford.
- Theyre coming over now? | - Theyll be here in a couple minutes.
The house is a mess, | and Bob is bleeding.
You cant expect me to drop everything | and entertain these strangers.
Drop what? | What were you doing?
Look. This is my last chance | to get into Stanford.
I know, honey, | and its not a good day for me.
- I have to go to college. | - Why?
Because thats what you do | after high school.
Please dont do this to me. | Please dont sabotage me.
Every time I try to depend on you, | you start acting like a total lunatic.
Mom?
Mom?
Im sorry.
So now Im a bad mother.
Youre not. | Please just put on some clothes.
I sacrificed a lot for you. | I sacrificed Damian for you.
Your tennis instructor.
He was beautiful and Serbian!
When your father left, | I almost married him.
And if I had, wed be living in a condo, | clipping coupons and eating lunch meat.
So I didnt.
I married Bob for you.
I had sex with Bob four times | for you.
How can you say Im a bad mother?
Im not saying that.
- You know money cant buy happiness. | - Grow up. Yes, it can.
You and Dad both have money, | and youre both miserable.
Hes miserable? | Did he say that?
Mom, this is the most decisive | day of my life...
and all Im asking for is one hour-- | one hour with no big scenes...
and no nervous breakdowns | and no Meryl Streep impressions--
just one hour where you act | like a normal, loving parent.
Can you do this for me?
Yes, I can.
Thank you, Mom.
But Ill need a glass of wine. | Theres chardonnay in the fridge.
Okay. Ill be right back.
Dont move.
Im really nervous.
Dont be. | Everythings gonna be fine.
Theyre early.
Some very important people | are coming over.
- Stay in your room. | - Why?
- Because youre an embarrassment. | - Okay.
Theyre here.
I look like a pinata.
You look great. | Just remember what I said.
No big drunken scenes, okay?
Yeah.
Lupes with Bob, Lance is in his room | and Mom is dressed.
How do I look?
Very handsome.
- Now just--just be yourself. | - Okay.
Come on.
You must be Shaun.
Yes, sir. | Yes, sir, Mr. Gantner.
Please come in.
Mrs. Gantner. | Thank you for coming.
- This is my girlfriend Ashley. | - Hi.
- Nice to meet you. | - Hello.
- Youre friends with Tanya. | - Tanyas very upset by your situation.
I dont like it | when my granddaughter is upset.
Tanya has Arthur | wrapped around her little finger.
- Thats right. | - Hello!
Hello.
Hi. Im Cindy Almond-Beugler.
- Im Arthur Gantner. My wife Vera. | - How do you do?
Hello. Welcome.
Excuse me.
Wont you please | make yourselves at home?
Thank you. | Thank you. Thank--
So, tell us about yourself.
Well, Im a National Merit Scholar...
a straight-A student...
and I want to be a writer.
Do you like John Grisham? | I sure do.
Shauns also our class president...
and he was the representative | at our model UN.
Hes a fabulous kid, Mr. Gantner.
Arthur. Please. | Call me Arthur.
Even as a little boy, | he was so smart.
I miss those days.
The last few years | have been really hard.
I helped my former husband | start his business.
Soon as he gets a little money, | he starts screwing around on me.
My goodness.
He left me for a 20-year-old | he met at the gym.
I walked in on them at a motel.
Shes got him naked | and handcuffed to the bed.
So we divorced. | I remarried.
Then this new one, Bob...
he starts falling apart, and--
and its just one shit storm | after the other.
- Let us in! | - Hurry up!
- Hurry up! | - Come on!
Yo, bro.
We heard you tried | to kill Mrs. Cobb.
Are you on a violent rampage, dude?
What do you want?
All right, bro. | Check it out.
We thought, in Lonnys memory, | we could go down to Emerald Cove.
We could take his board | and push it out into the ocean.
- Or blow it up. | - Right.
That sounds like a great idea, | and well do it.
But I cant right now | cause I got important people over.
- More important than us, huh? | - No.
- More important than Lonny? | - Of course not.
- This is his birthday, man. | - Yeah, man.
Like, his death birthday. | Doesnt that mean anything to you?
Just go hang | with your little VIPs.
Sorry we intruded | on your tea party.
If you need us, well be out in | the van picking each others butts.
- Naked. | - Huh?
I visited Stanford in the fall. | Its a beautiful campus.
Isnt it lovely? | We go up there for football games.
And Arthur is on the board, so--
Excuse me. Sorry.
Have you seen my piss?
My parole officer called. | He wants that piss.
I know I got it around here.
Dont you see | that we have company?
Hey, whats up? | There it is.
I am so sorry.
Somebodys gotta fill this up, | or Im going to jail.
Would you just | get out of here!
Fine.
Id like to "protose" a toast.
Shaun has been a wonderful son...
and I want him to be happy.
Im going to be all alone.
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Dear God!
Pills!
Mom, you didnt give Bob | his medication.
Excuse me for a minute.
Dude!
Dude! Where are Bobs pain pills?
This is Excedrin.
Its a decoy. | I put my stash in aspirin bottles.
Yellow are painkillers. | They go in the Excedrin.
Listen to me, all right?
I need Bobs pain pills.
Bob doesnt have any pain pills. | I sold them, but these are good.
Wait. Yellow are not painkillers.
What are they? Speed. Theyre the X. | Painkillers are in the Tylenol.
Give him one of these. | Itll knock him right out.
Wait. Please. | Where are you going?
You people are sick.
Your mothers a drunk. | Your brothers a pervert.
Shame on you | for abusing an old man.
Shame on you | for abusing an old man.
Hes fine. | Tell them youre fine.
I know how this looks, but I do | everything I can for Bob.
- I love Bob. | - Hey!
Stanford is for the best | and the brightest--
the future leaders of America.
Youll never go to Stanford...
as long as I have | a breath in my body.
Watch your fingers.
What happened?
You went for a ride.
Are you okay?
I got ya, buddy!
You should sue, man. | This isnt right. Sue the school.
Shut up.
Just go to Stanford anyway. | Go there and take the classes.
Dont take "no" for an answer. | Just say, Im goin here. Kiss my ass.
- Thats a good idea. | - What?
I should go up to Stanford.
If I talk with the dean of admissions | and tell him my situation...
hes gotta let me in.
I can get you there in three hours.
Youre getting into Stanford. | I know it!
Thanks, man.
I have a question for you. | I got something to say.
Im gonna do something with my life. | Yeah, man.
Good.
I got these ideas. | I got so many ideas.
Theyre burning | through my skull, buddy.
I dont know, like, | hats and shirts.
Like Stussy. | Do you know what?
Stussy got started out making | hats and shirts for surfers in Hawaii.
Now hes, like, a millionaire. | He parties in Hawaii 24-7!
I could do something like that, | dont you think?
Like a fuckin shirt | that says "Loser."
Or I dont know. "Talk to the hand" | or something like that.
Those would sell.
Or-- I dont know. | I got these ideas.
Like a hat, | a big hat that goes--
Watch the road, dumb ass!
People have written me off. | Do you know that?
People have written me off, | like Dad for one.
Just keep your eyes on the road.
Dude, Im gonna have | the last laugh...
because heres why.
Some little chumps go to college. | Some little chumps stay home.
Some little chumps eat roast beef. | Some little chumps have none.
This chumps gonna cry "wee wee wee" | all the way to the biz-neck.
- You know what Im sayin?
- I love you, dude. | - I love you too.
We dont say it enough. | Its true, and its not the drugs.
- Hi. | - Hi.
I need to talk | to the dean of admissions.
Well, its 1 0:30 at night, | so hes not here right now.
I know, but, you see, | this is an emergency.
Im sure. Youll have | to come back tomorrow though.
Could you maybe just | give us his phone number?
What? His phone number?
Please, you guys, | cut me some slack.
Come back tomorrow, all right? | Were closed.
Thats such crap.
That is such crap. | Screw her.
You know what? | Screw her.
- You cold? Want my jacket? | - Thank you.
Man! She thinks shes so smart | cause she goes to Stanford.
Well, Im smart too. | Im gonna pull a MacGyver.
I will break in through a window, | Ill look around and find a--
What do you call that thing?
Directory. | You stay here.
Im gonna be back in 15 minutes | with the directory.
Reconnoiter. 15.
The deans probably listed. | You could just call information.
Hey, what are you doing?
Hey, cutie.
What do you want?
Well...
the question is...
what do you want?
Listen...
do you want me to call | public safety?
Do you want me to get naked | and start the revolution?
Ill take that as a maybe.
- Yes? | - Mr. Durkett?
- Youre such a liar! | - Girls! I told you. Knock it off!
- Dad, Stephanie stole my flip-flops. | - So deal with it, Gina. Go.
- Yes? | - Liar!
Im Shaun Brumder. I need | to talk to you about my application.
Its late. I gotta get up | for a 7:00 flight.
Theres been a big mistake.
Im sorry. Theres nothing I can do. | Good night.
Yes?
Look, we drove all the way here | from Orange County.
Cant you just give us | five minutes of your time? Please.
Okay. You have five minutes. Go.
Okay. Stanford University | was my first choice.
I didnt even apply | to any other schools.
My college counsellor | sent you the wrong transcript.
Show me your transcript.
I left it in the car. | Ill go get it.
- Please dont go anywhere. | - Okay.
Don.
- What? | - Where are our bathing suits?
Theres a green-mesh dive bag | on the floor of my closet.
Just look in there.
Who are these people? | Get rid of them.
Could I have one of those?
Yeah.
Thank you. | My head is killing me.
Take two or three.
Thank you.
You can just have | the whole bottle.
When youre done down there, | I need help closing my suitcase.
Okay. Ill be up in five minutes.
Coming.
Oh, come on.
Jesus. You look like a beast.
Wheres Shaun? | I need to talk to him.
- Stanford. Hes having a crisis. | - I know all about it.
Youre such a good father, | so good to your kids.
I need a drink. | Do you have any beer, coyote ugly?
This is an excellent transcript.
You should be very proud, | but what can I tell you?
If Id had this by January 21 , | you might have had a shot.
I need you.
Excuse me.
What is the big deal?
Hes gonna say no.
Hey, dont let him say no.
Its gonna be fine.
Okay. Thanks.
So whats up with your brother | and aspirin?
Does he get a lot of headaches, | or what?
What is that smell? | What am I sitting in?
Relax. Its just urine.
Your son was being a real brat today, | a real pain in the ass.
- My son. | - He said I was selfish.
He said that everythings | always about me.
He called me a drama queen, | said I was trying to sabotage him.
So, hows Bob?
Hows whats her face?
Shes sleeping around.
I cant talk to her. | She doesnt play tennis.
Shes not a good mother. | Shes not like you.
Want another beer?
Look.
Sometimes I leave the office | at the end of the day...
and I get into my car | and head home...
and, 1 5 minutes later, Im here-- | parked in front of this house.
Its annoying. | Its totally out of my way.
I made a mistake. Im tired of | paying for it. I want you back.
Youre such an asshole.
Which ones were they?
- Excedrin? | - Excedrin. Okay.
Excedrin are pain pills.
- Pain pills. | - Oh, my God!
What?
We just gave the dean of admissions | three hits of--
Where were we?
Well, Mr. Durkett, to me...
Stanfords not just a school.
Its my entire reason | for living.
Every night, before I went to bed, | Id pray that Id get into Stanford.
And I worked really hard.
And when all my friends | were out having fun...
I stayed in and I studied.
Thats good. | Thats what you have to do.
Eighty-two percent--
Wait a second.
I like you. | Whats your name?
I like you.
I do. I dont know why.
I just like you.
Thanks.
I feel so good.
Is it me, or is it, like, | hotter than hell in here?
Can you help me?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yes. Yes, I can.
Theres no time. | Im leaving.
Im going to Bali | with my family.
I love them so much.
I need water or--
I need to lie down.
Hey, before you do that--
Youre my same height. | That is neat.
It is. | Lets go to your office...
and you can add my name | to the acceptance list...
before you leave for Bali.
Sounds good.
Man!
The lights are, like, vivid.
Well, its a beautiful night.
- Youre so beautiful. | - Thank you.
You know, I really appreciate this.
Thats okay...
cause I feel like | Ive known you forever.
Hey!
I have a confession.
I never went to college.
Its overrated.
My brother wants | to go here next year.
Well, I hope hes on this list.
Whats that?
Its a list of people | theyve accepted.
They rejected him, the jerks.
Dont do that.
When I was little, | I was a total pyro.
I was too.
Put that out, man.
- Put it out. | - Whoa!
- Who are you people? | - Im Shaun Brumder.
Youre going to help me | get into Stanford.
And were at your office.
Oh, my God!
Do me a favor. Back that engine out. | We got a knockdown.
Thats negatory, Julio. | I need you to wedge that popper.
Hey! Whats your name?
-Joe--John. | - What is it?
Joe John.
- Your names "Joe John"? | -Johnston.
Johnston, Joe.
You wanna tell me | what happened here?
Just a fire. | I dont know.
I came by and was...
checking out the fire.
Well, that lady, Mona...
said that you two were in | the building when the fire started.
Yeah, shes a liar,
So whatever she says is a lie.
Youre saying you werent | in the building with that woman?
Not I. All right.
She started it, all right? | Because she was, like...
"I hate my job! | Im gonna burn this mother down!"
I said, "You better not! | Youd better not!"
- She said it was an electrical fire. | - It was.
It was a total electrical fire. | It was, like...
the switches had sparks coming out,
- It was like the Fourth of July. | - Why arent you wearing your pants?
I tripped and--
Then I had to take em off | to run faster out of the flames.
I think I inhaled some smoke.
Will you excuse me one second?
Ill be right back.
Weve a got a sprinter. | Five-foot-five, no pants...
unkempt, portly.
- Youll be fine. | - Wait a second.
This guy thinks | hes the dean of admissions.
Shaun, so psychedelic.
Buddy, I light one match, | and the building blows up.
I was just trying to help you, bro.
By setting the building on fire?
Well, I was high.
Youre always high. | Youre a drugged-out loser.
You think youre gonna create | a T-shirt company?
You cant even dress yourself.
Harsh.
Shaun, Im so sorry.
I shouldve seen this coming.
The one day I need my family | to come through for me...
they end up doing | what they always do.
My father goes ballistic, | my mother gets plastered...
and my brother | burns down a building.
Its like | theyve all come together...
in some evil conspiracy | to prevent me from getting anywhere.
Is that what you think?
What else am I supposed to think?
You know, I really believed that | you wanted to go to Stanford...
because you wanted to study | with Marcus Skinner.
- Thats not it, is it? | - What are you talking about?
You want to run away.
You want to be free of everybody.
You think by coming up here, | youre gonna meet people that are...
smarter and saner...
and better.
You know, if you went to Stanford, | thatd be the end of us.
And it doesnt seem to me like | that thoughts ever crossed your mind.
Ashley, come on!
Shaun, Im sorry | you didnt get into Stanford.
But if you think going here...
is the only way you can be | the person you want to be...
then I just feel sorry for you.
Whats going on? | What are you doing in that bathrobe?
Im not gonna lie to you.
Did you sleep with your ex-wife?
I want a divorce.
Really?
You can have the house.
Really? What about Jake?
I thought we could share custody.
Okay. Great.
But can you take him tonight?
Theres this new club in Newport thats | supposed to be totally bitchin.
Oh, okay.
Thanks, Bud.
So you have my pager number | and my cell phone number.
If you need me just call me. | And I think this is a great idea.
Good.
- Later. | - Later.
What are you reading?
Faulkner.
Great writer.
Yeah. Sure.
Youre an English major?
No. I dont even go here.
So youre just visiting?
I should probably go.
It was nice meeting you.
Im going to a party.
You wanna maybe | come check it out?
So do you like Faulkner?
Hes okay. | I mean, hes kind of boring.
I think I might just get | the "Cliff Notes."
There are some serious cuties | at this party.
And lock me up, | because I am horny!
Guys, this is Shaun.
Oh, my God! | This is our song!
Scrabble? I love Scrabble.
Last time I played, actually, | I threw down the word "mazer."
Its a type | of small cherry tree.
I even got 50 bonus points.
So, you dont look familiar. | Are you a freshman?
No, not even. | Im still in high school.
- Did you apply to Stanford, or-- | - No, no.
Im going to | Orange County University.
- Thats where Im from. | - Ive heard of Orange County.
I love it there. | The weathers great, people are nice.
I really want to be | a marine biologist...
so its really the perfect place | for me to study.
What about you?
Im a comparative literature major. | I want to be a writer.
Fiction, poetry, screenplays, | whatever, you know.
Actually, I have an idea | for a TV show.
Its about vampires, ostensibly. | But underneath...
its actually about | the reunification of Germany.
But its funny.
My boyfriend wants | to be a writer too.
Your boyfriend?
Yeah, Shaun.
Hes really talented.
He wrote this great story...
about growing up | in Orange County.
And its just | really funny and smart.
But it doesnt really matter | what I think, so--
Why not?
Whats up?
Is this your boyfriend?
What are you, like, | spying on me?
No! I was--
I was just up on the balcony...
and--
Yeah, I was spying on you. | Whos this?
Im Kip.
Yeah, Kip. Lets go inside | where we can be alone.
Come on, Ash.
Mr. Skinner?
Youre Marcus Skinner.
Youre a good writer.
Thank you.
Im obsessed with you, | Mr. Skinner.
Not in a sexual way or romantic way | or anything like that.
Just your writing.
Im Shaun Brumder. I wrote you | a letter a couple of months ago...
and I sent you | one of my stories.
"Orange County."
Yeah!
Yeah, wait. | Did you read it?
Oh, yes. Yeah. | It was a great story.
I cant--
Im sorry.
Its been a long day.
Could you just say what you | just said just one more time?
It was a great story. | I really enjoyed it.
Mr. Skinner--
Dude...
you have no idea | what that means to me.
The characters are unique--
well drawn.
The mother-- drunk...
arguing with all the maids.
The brother-- | always passing out everywhere.
And I love the girlfriend-- | the bleeding heart animal freak.
She was my favorite.
You really love your characters. | It comes through in the writing.
Well, thank you.
I never really | thought about it that way.
My only criticism--
Yes. Oh, please. | Its what I need.
You need an ending.
I know. I just-- | I dont know how to end it.
You should figure that out.
Maybe I can help you.
Well, I didnt get into Stanford.
Yeah, so that means | I cant work with you.
I want to be a good writer, | Mr. Skinner...
but Im just afraid...
that if I dont get out | of Orange County...
its never gonna happen.
You dont have to be afraid of that. | You are a good writer.
And every good writer | has a conflicted relationship...
with the place where he grew up--
Joyce, Faulkner, Tolstoy.
And thats what I remember | loving about your story.
Its very conflicted.
Cause at the beginning, | you think these people are doomed.
I mean, this family is heading | for disaster, and then...
as you read on, | you see that there exists...
beneath the surface, | these very real connections.
These deep relationships.
What I took | from your story is this--
that even in a world | where people can be superficial...
and stupid and selfish...
theres still hope.
Was that the message | you were trying for?
Over here.
- Sorry. | - Ow!
- God! | - Sorry.
- God! Lance! | - Im sorry. Its just a nick.
Dude, you will never believe | who I just met.
- Who? | - Marcus Skinner.
- I met Marcus Skinner! | - What? Who?
The writer. | He liked my story!
- He liked my story! | - Shut up!
Thats awesome, | but I am going to prison!
- What? | - Some cops are right on my ass.
Listen, Ive been thinking about it. | We are going to Mexico, buddy.
Right now! | Please?
Oh, God.
All right, fine. Were leaving. | But we gotta get Ashley first.
No, Im sorry. | No, thats not in the cards, Broseph.
Listen, shell be fine. | Just forget about her.
Some dudell pick her up | and give her a nice bed to sleep in.
- Lance. | - Okay!
We will go and get her. | But you gotta follow me...
cause I am an expert at "excaping."
Lets go. Fast "excape." | Fast "excapes" are my expertise.
Come on!
Be careful.
Follow me.
Lance, are you okay?
Go get the Bronco, Shaun, | and come back for me.
- Okay. | - Dude?
Promise me, dude.
I promise.
The whole time Im thinking | its the alternator.
My bro says to me, | "No, bro, its the carburettor."
It turned out he was right.
- Would you get in the car? | - Im mad at you, remember?
I know, but can we talk | about it in the car, please?
Hey, you heard her. | Why dont you leave her alone?
Butt out, dude. | Ashley, get in the car right now.
Shaun, apologize to her. | Tell her youre sorry.
Im sorry!
Dude, come on.
Im so sorry.
Now tell her you love her.
Tell her you love her.
I love you.
I love you so much.
Good. You love him. | He loves you. Now get in...
the damn Bronco!
Ashley, now! Now!
Now!
Kip, it was really nice | to meet you.
Get in the car!
What?
Lance isnt gonna be able | to hear anything.
Hes passed out. | Hes not gonna wake up. I promise.
Okay, you dont believe me? | Lance. Lance!
See? Nothing. | Hes out cold.
Like a light. | Come on.
Itll be fine. | I promise, okay?
Clearly, youre not an expert | on negotiations...
so let me walk you through this.
You come in with a proposal | thats over the top.
You want a new gymnasium--
Then I counter with a lowball offer, | like $2,000 for a medicine ball.
- That is absurd and offensive. | - What?
Its offensive, sir. | Stanford University doesnt--
- We already have a medicine ball. | - Youre not hearing me.
- I believe its you whos not-- | - Youre not hearing me!
Drink your milk.
I dont want milk. | I want my poody.
Well, your poodys been retired.
Youre a little big for-- | Where are you going?
What--
You dont want the milk? | Fine. You want some juice?
Yes. Okay.
Go to the fridge, open it up | and get yourself some.
And get some for me | while youre at it.
Youre helpful. | Finally, some help around here.
Hey, guys, whats up?
Hey, whats up, dude? | Hey, dude, check this out.
Last night | we were at this party...
and little Arlo here decides to | profess his undying love for me.
Did I tell you | he was a fruitcake or what?
Thats not true. | This is the real story, dude.
Chad crashed at my house, right?
And I woke up in the night. | He was fondling my--
Dude, I lost my keys. | I was looking for em.
- Do you guys want to come in? | - All right.
- What are you doing here? | - Hello, everybody.
- Hey, Bob. | - How was your trip?
It was okay.
Just come back with an offer.
Well, we dont have to | dot the Is and cross the Ts.
You have your people, | I have my people.
Ill call you back. | My kids just walked in the door.
Hi, guys.
Dad, what--
Mom, what is going on?
Something happened last night.
Your mother and I, we--
Well--
You banged Mom?
Thats not the word | I would use, but...
yes, we came together.
- Are you serious? | - Guess what else we did?
Ive been on the phone | all morning with Stanford.
Your mother and I donated the money | for a new admissions building.
I guess the old one burned down.
We got you into Stanford, Shaun.
- You did that for me? | - Yeah.
Really?
- Yeah, bro, way to go, man. | - Were stoked, dude.
Stanford!
Congratulations, Shaun. | Thats-- That is awesome.
I was just up in my room | thinking about Faulkner...
and wondering if he had left | the South...
would he have ever written a | Light in August?
Or what if James Joyce | had left Ireland?
Well, I mean, he did leave Ireland, | but not in his heart.
Do you see what | Im getting at here?
I dont need to go to Stanford | to be a writer.
All I need are | the people who inspire me...
Like my friends...
and my family....
and you.
So Im gonna stay. | Im gonna stay in Orange County.
You are!
Stanford sucks!
"Dear Mr. Skinner, | Im writing you to say thank you...
for all your words of wisdom.
It took me a while, | but I finally realized...
Orange County | is the perfect environment...
for an aspiring writer.
Today I went down to the beach | with a copy of your book.
I left it there by the water.
Maybe another mixed-up kid | will stumble upon it.
And maybe it will change his life | like it changed mine.
Later, Mr. Skinner.
Yours truly, Shaun Brumder. "
Dude, dont touch! | Im lighting the fire.
It was my idea, | and youre an idiot.
Youre gonna blow off your hand. | Give me the lighter.
Dude, Lonny would have wanted me | to blow up his board, dude.
- Lonny thought you were a tool. | - Lonny thought you were a fool.
- Hey, guys, what are you doing? | - Gonna blow up Lonnys board, man.
- Its gonna be explosive. | - We got so many M-80s.
Its gonna be like | the Fourth of July.
- Dude, what are you doing? | - Im going surfing!
All right!
Come on! Lets go!