Pals and Gals (1954) Movie Script
Well, Doc, how about it?
This man has a very bad leg.
You're telling me.
The vein in his right
leg is greatly enlarged.
See here.
Midway between the
kneecap and the ankle joint
there's an area of great congestion.
This vein is the cause
of all your trouble.
I've never seen a vein
like it in my life.
It's enormous.
What's the answer, Doc?
I ain't gonna lose my leg, am I, Doc?
I've had it ever since
I was a little kid.
Oh, of course not.
Just go out west a couple of months
and you'll be just as good as new.
Oh, thanks, Doc. The
leg is as good as new.
It feels great.
- Easy!
- It's all right.
We're heading west.
Boy, that sawbones had the right dope.
My leg feels swell.
Good.
What's the matter with that stuff?
Give me something with a jolt in it.
I'm tough!
Look, we're out west now,
so we've got to be tough.
Don't worry about us. We'll be tough.
We know what to do.
Okay, boys. Get western.
- Shoot you for the drink.
- Right.
Yeah?
- Shoot you for the drink.
- Throw.
You throw.
Hold it!
Okay.
Here's your change.
There you are.
What's the matter with you guys?
What are you trying to...?
Hey. Easy, easy.
Smooth as silk.
Those jaspers down
there... Who are they?
I don't know, boss.
Nell, come here.
Go find out who those men are.
Doc Barker, I won't do it.
You won't do what?
You're forgetting who I
got locked up down there.
That's better.
- He's all right.
- Hello, boys.
What brings you to Coyote Pass?
Well, lady, it's my vein.
- Your vein?
- Biggest vein you ever saw.
Quirt, I always knew
there was gold around these parts.
Now see it... It's my
vein. Ain't it a whopper?
It certainly is.
You see, it's just halfway between...
It's all very interesting,
but I must go now.
I want to tell you
some more about my vein.
You can tell me. I'm Doc Barker.
Pleased to meet you, Doc.
This is right up your alley.
Did you ever see a vein
like this in all your life?
I should say not.
You know something?
I could do things with a vein like that.
- You mean, operate?
- That's right, partner.
We're really gonna work on it.
- No small-time stuff either.
- No?
If it's near the surface,
we'll use 20 men with pick and shovel.
Well, that might be... Listen, Doc!
And if the vein is any
deeper, we'll use dynamite.
Oh, no! Not on my vein!
The tinhorns around here will say
that Doc Barker ain't a big operator.
Well, they won't have
a leg like to stand at.
Neither will I.
Oh, mister, you're a card. You kill me!
Thanks anyway, Doc,
but we'll handle the vein ourselves.
Yeah. Come on, let's go, boys.
I saw it. It's worth millions.
Big operator... He ain't kidding.
- What's the matter?
- Come on.
I've got to talk to you. Follow me.
Go ahead, go ahead, come on.
Doc Barker is a no good crook.
He stolen the Red Dog
Saloon from me and my sisters
and he's left them up.
Nell!
- Zell, Bell!
- Well, well!
Maybe these gentlemen would help us.
Please, let us out of here!
Doc Barker said if
we'll not get marry him
something terrible
going to happen to us.
Oh, don't worry, gals,
we'll get you out of here.
But how do you get the
keys from Doc Barker?
He keeps it in his coat pocket.
I'll get those keys, I'll
drive with that Doc Barker.
Actually I'll do, gal...
Hey, wait, listen fellas, come here!
Hey, I got a scene to make
Doc Barker take off his coat.
- You get the coat in here.
- Yeah.
Thanks.
Well, boys, drinks are on me.
Okay. Where is that bartender?
Oh, he's out. I'll fix the drinks.
Don't go away.
Let's ante a dollar.
Did you take care of the bartender?
- Yeah.
- Good work.
What do you know about mixing drinks?
Nothing.
That's fine. Get me a jigger.
Old Homicide.
Molasses. That ought to sweeten 'em up.
Tabasco.
- Open for ten.
- Pass.
These boots are killing me.
Seltzer.
Eggs. That ought to make them cackle.
Hey! You put paint in there!
So I did.
- What's that?
- Paint remover.
- Give me three.
- I'll take the same.
- Three.
- One.
I'll bet you 500.
Well, mister, Quirt bet you 500 bucks.
Can you call?
Darn right I can call.
Only, I ain't got 500 bucks.
Don't let that worry you.
Just give me that paper of yours
for security, and I'll
advance you five grand.
You mean this? Why, sure thing.
Start pouring.
Easy, now. Good.
Can you call or can't you?
I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
I'll see you and raise
you another thousand.
Call. King-high straight.
Four aces. Come to poppa.
Get me the sarsaparilla.
This drink is for Shemp.
I gotta remember that.
Here we are.
Okay.
Why don't you look where I'm going?
What's the matter?
I don't know which glass is which.
Come on, hurry up with those drinks!
Here's to crime.
Yeah. A short life, and a merry one.
Yeah, a very short life.
Well, let's get along with the game.
Water! Water! Water!
Get that wet coat off!
- You'll catch pneumonia!
- Yeah!
- They're in here someplace.
- Here they are.
OK. I got 'em.
- Are you all right, boss?
- Yeah, I'm all right.
Get a chair, there.
I have the key. You got be free.
Go to the house, I'll be there soon.
Quick!
He is dead!
Well, he must had an heart .
Yeah, he is dead, I'm taking over.
If any of you boys object,
we must get from outside here...
Why, the girls get out the basement!
Now, Doc gets those keys in his pocket,
I don't see how they have...
See if we find something else.
- Nothing.
- Yeah.
We'll catch you anyway!
I will take care of your pals later.
Let's take him down the
basement and lock him up!
- And we'll get a new lock!
- Get going!
After you, gentlemen.
Suckers. The window!
Wait a minute! I gonna
come back, fellas.
I was only kidding. Oh,
they got me, they got me!
I'm gonna get a cheap lawyer.
Okay boys, we'll shoot him at sundown.
Hey Moe, they'll gonna
shoot me at sundown!
Relax, kid, you're practically free.
I gotta get back upstairs
and keep an eye on them.
Okay toots.
Hey, play something.
I feel like singing.
- She will be a pretty bride.
- 'Tis the last
Rose of summer
Hold your ear.
- What is that, a crosscut?
- How do you like that?
Let's get busy here.
Hurry! Hold that bar.
Give me that hammer and chisel.
All right. Here.
That's it.
You're killing me!
Come on, fellas!
Hey! Let's disguise.
If they came down here,
we wouldn't be recognized.
Nice work, kid! Come on, get them out!
What happened?
Something's wrong
downstairs, boys. Come on!
We gonna get out of
here quietly. Come on!
Hey, did you see a
fella come out of there?
Yeah, he went out that a way!
Come on, fellas!
Come on, let's get the horses!
A gorilla! Where we are, in Africa?
Get out of here! Get out of here!
Hey, take it easy, will you?
What happened?
What's the idea of
pull me off the horse?
Hey Moe, Larry! Come in!
Listen...!
Here they come again!
Into the wagon, quick!
Come on, hurry up!
Oh, if we only have some guns.
Hey, I found a box of bullets!
Get in!
Hey, fellas, they go!
Come on, let's get out of here!
Oh, here we are!
- Hey, look who's here!
- Oh, boy!
Hiya, girls!
We're glad to see you again!
I don't know how to give the thank you
for all the work you've done.
This man has a very bad leg.
You're telling me.
The vein in his right
leg is greatly enlarged.
See here.
Midway between the
kneecap and the ankle joint
there's an area of great congestion.
This vein is the cause
of all your trouble.
I've never seen a vein
like it in my life.
It's enormous.
What's the answer, Doc?
I ain't gonna lose my leg, am I, Doc?
I've had it ever since
I was a little kid.
Oh, of course not.
Just go out west a couple of months
and you'll be just as good as new.
Oh, thanks, Doc. The
leg is as good as new.
It feels great.
- Easy!
- It's all right.
We're heading west.
Boy, that sawbones had the right dope.
My leg feels swell.
Good.
What's the matter with that stuff?
Give me something with a jolt in it.
I'm tough!
Look, we're out west now,
so we've got to be tough.
Don't worry about us. We'll be tough.
We know what to do.
Okay, boys. Get western.
- Shoot you for the drink.
- Right.
Yeah?
- Shoot you for the drink.
- Throw.
You throw.
Hold it!
Okay.
Here's your change.
There you are.
What's the matter with you guys?
What are you trying to...?
Hey. Easy, easy.
Smooth as silk.
Those jaspers down
there... Who are they?
I don't know, boss.
Nell, come here.
Go find out who those men are.
Doc Barker, I won't do it.
You won't do what?
You're forgetting who I
got locked up down there.
That's better.
- He's all right.
- Hello, boys.
What brings you to Coyote Pass?
Well, lady, it's my vein.
- Your vein?
- Biggest vein you ever saw.
Quirt, I always knew
there was gold around these parts.
Now see it... It's my
vein. Ain't it a whopper?
It certainly is.
You see, it's just halfway between...
It's all very interesting,
but I must go now.
I want to tell you
some more about my vein.
You can tell me. I'm Doc Barker.
Pleased to meet you, Doc.
This is right up your alley.
Did you ever see a vein
like this in all your life?
I should say not.
You know something?
I could do things with a vein like that.
- You mean, operate?
- That's right, partner.
We're really gonna work on it.
- No small-time stuff either.
- No?
If it's near the surface,
we'll use 20 men with pick and shovel.
Well, that might be... Listen, Doc!
And if the vein is any
deeper, we'll use dynamite.
Oh, no! Not on my vein!
The tinhorns around here will say
that Doc Barker ain't a big operator.
Well, they won't have
a leg like to stand at.
Neither will I.
Oh, mister, you're a card. You kill me!
Thanks anyway, Doc,
but we'll handle the vein ourselves.
Yeah. Come on, let's go, boys.
I saw it. It's worth millions.
Big operator... He ain't kidding.
- What's the matter?
- Come on.
I've got to talk to you. Follow me.
Go ahead, go ahead, come on.
Doc Barker is a no good crook.
He stolen the Red Dog
Saloon from me and my sisters
and he's left them up.
Nell!
- Zell, Bell!
- Well, well!
Maybe these gentlemen would help us.
Please, let us out of here!
Doc Barker said if
we'll not get marry him
something terrible
going to happen to us.
Oh, don't worry, gals,
we'll get you out of here.
But how do you get the
keys from Doc Barker?
He keeps it in his coat pocket.
I'll get those keys, I'll
drive with that Doc Barker.
Actually I'll do, gal...
Hey, wait, listen fellas, come here!
Hey, I got a scene to make
Doc Barker take off his coat.
- You get the coat in here.
- Yeah.
Thanks.
Well, boys, drinks are on me.
Okay. Where is that bartender?
Oh, he's out. I'll fix the drinks.
Don't go away.
Let's ante a dollar.
Did you take care of the bartender?
- Yeah.
- Good work.
What do you know about mixing drinks?
Nothing.
That's fine. Get me a jigger.
Old Homicide.
Molasses. That ought to sweeten 'em up.
Tabasco.
- Open for ten.
- Pass.
These boots are killing me.
Seltzer.
Eggs. That ought to make them cackle.
Hey! You put paint in there!
So I did.
- What's that?
- Paint remover.
- Give me three.
- I'll take the same.
- Three.
- One.
I'll bet you 500.
Well, mister, Quirt bet you 500 bucks.
Can you call?
Darn right I can call.
Only, I ain't got 500 bucks.
Don't let that worry you.
Just give me that paper of yours
for security, and I'll
advance you five grand.
You mean this? Why, sure thing.
Start pouring.
Easy, now. Good.
Can you call or can't you?
I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
I'll see you and raise
you another thousand.
Call. King-high straight.
Four aces. Come to poppa.
Get me the sarsaparilla.
This drink is for Shemp.
I gotta remember that.
Here we are.
Okay.
Why don't you look where I'm going?
What's the matter?
I don't know which glass is which.
Come on, hurry up with those drinks!
Here's to crime.
Yeah. A short life, and a merry one.
Yeah, a very short life.
Well, let's get along with the game.
Water! Water! Water!
Get that wet coat off!
- You'll catch pneumonia!
- Yeah!
- They're in here someplace.
- Here they are.
OK. I got 'em.
- Are you all right, boss?
- Yeah, I'm all right.
Get a chair, there.
I have the key. You got be free.
Go to the house, I'll be there soon.
Quick!
He is dead!
Well, he must had an heart .
Yeah, he is dead, I'm taking over.
If any of you boys object,
we must get from outside here...
Why, the girls get out the basement!
Now, Doc gets those keys in his pocket,
I don't see how they have...
See if we find something else.
- Nothing.
- Yeah.
We'll catch you anyway!
I will take care of your pals later.
Let's take him down the
basement and lock him up!
- And we'll get a new lock!
- Get going!
After you, gentlemen.
Suckers. The window!
Wait a minute! I gonna
come back, fellas.
I was only kidding. Oh,
they got me, they got me!
I'm gonna get a cheap lawyer.
Okay boys, we'll shoot him at sundown.
Hey Moe, they'll gonna
shoot me at sundown!
Relax, kid, you're practically free.
I gotta get back upstairs
and keep an eye on them.
Okay toots.
Hey, play something.
I feel like singing.
- She will be a pretty bride.
- 'Tis the last
Rose of summer
Hold your ear.
- What is that, a crosscut?
- How do you like that?
Let's get busy here.
Hurry! Hold that bar.
Give me that hammer and chisel.
All right. Here.
That's it.
You're killing me!
Come on, fellas!
Hey! Let's disguise.
If they came down here,
we wouldn't be recognized.
Nice work, kid! Come on, get them out!
What happened?
Something's wrong
downstairs, boys. Come on!
We gonna get out of
here quietly. Come on!
Hey, did you see a
fella come out of there?
Yeah, he went out that a way!
Come on, fellas!
Come on, let's get the horses!
A gorilla! Where we are, in Africa?
Get out of here! Get out of here!
Hey, take it easy, will you?
What happened?
What's the idea of
pull me off the horse?
Hey Moe, Larry! Come in!
Listen...!
Here they come again!
Into the wagon, quick!
Come on, hurry up!
Oh, if we only have some guns.
Hey, I found a box of bullets!
Get in!
Hey, fellas, they go!
Come on, let's get out of here!
Oh, here we are!
- Hey, look who's here!
- Oh, boy!
Hiya, girls!
We're glad to see you again!
I don't know how to give the thank you
for all the work you've done.