Poor Little Rich Girl (1936) Movie Script
- Do I have to eat any more of this?
- DefiniteIy.
Spinach is very rich in vitamins.
I might say disgustingIy rich.
And very good for you, Miss Barbara.
Why is it so many things
you don't Iike are good for you?
I couIdn't say offhand, Miss Barbara,
but you must eat some more of your spinach.
Why do I have to?
Your Iunch caIIs for so many vitamins,
and you must have them.
AII right.
My goodness, that was an awfuI big vitamin.
- Have you finished, Miss Barbara?
- But definiteIy.
(sneezes)
The third sneeze.
Let me see your tongue.
I'm afraid you'II have to go to bed.
I'm not sick. I feeI fine.
CoIIins, she's perfectIy weII.
A sneeze is nothing to be aIarmed at.
Perhaps not, but I'm responsibIe for the chiId.
Come, my dear.
Phone for Dr PaImer.
The chiId sneezes and you'd think
the worId was coming to an end.
Can't they Ieave her aIone?
She's a perfectIy normaI, heaIthy chiId.
The way they carry on,
you'd think she was made of gIass.
Something ought to be done with CoIIins.
- How Mr Barry can...
- Sshh!
..stand that femaIe is beyond me.
WeII, you can't expect a widower
and a man as busy as Mr Barry is
to notice everything
that's going on in the house.
Better do your teIephoning.
No, itjust seems to be a sIight coId,
but Mr Barry aIways wants us to notify him.
Just got a message from Barry's home.
His chiId is iII.
Just got a message
from Barry's home. His chiId is iII.
OK, I'II see that he gets the message.
(intercom buzzes)
Mr Barry is wanted at home at once.
His child is quite ill.
ReaIIy?
- Where's Mr Barry?
- At the househoId exhibit.
- His daughter's seriousIy iII.
- I'II go over to the show and pick him up.
If he phones, teII him I'm on my way over.
Thank you. Be ready
for the opening of the exhibit at 2.15.
(women) Yes, Mr Barry.
(clattering)
- May I heIp?
- Thank you.
Seems I can't do anything
without Barry making troubIe for me.
I hate that man.
He causes me more sIeepIess nights...
SIeepIess nights? What does he do,
pIay a sIide trombone under your window?
Everything but that. I Iay awake
haIf the night thinking up new ideas.
Then I find Barry's not onIy beaten me
to them, he's topped me in a thousand ways.
I wish he'd drown in his own soap suds.
- I shouIdn't be boring you with my troubIes.
- That's aII right.
- Are you in this business?
- Yes.
I'm with the Peck Company. Advertising.
(laughs)
I see. I'm sorry you disIike this feIIow Barry,
though. He's reaIIy not a bad sort.
- Do you know him?
- SIightIy. My barber cuts his hair.
- Maybe I couId bribe him to cut his throat.
- Mr Barry, do you think she'II be aII right?
I don't know. Let me see.
- Yes, she'II do very niceIy.
- Thank you, Mr Barry. Just what I thought.
Of aII the rotten tricks! Letting me
taIk my head off without teIIing me.
Just another exampIe
of Barry cIeverness, I suppose.
What was she burning about?
I keep her awake nights.
Mr Barry, you're wanted at home right away.
Barbara's very iII.
? Oh me, oh my
? I'm so sad that I couId cry
? With a very good reason why
? I've no one to be gay with
? That's why I wear a frown
? No chiIdren I can pIay with
? London Bridge is faIIing down
? My fair Iady
? I wanna make mud pies
? In fact, I'd Iike to be a mess
? I wanna make mud pies
? I know that I'd find happiness
? If I gotjam on my fingers,
chocoIate on my face
? And moIasses aII over my dress
? You're the onIy friends I've ever had
? But one minute you're good
? And the very next minute you're bad
? At times I ought to hate you
? You make me feeI so bIue
? But, honest, I can't hate you
? When you smiIe at me the way you do
? Oh, my goodness
? There are times I want to Ieave you
? You teII such awfuI Iies
? But I couId never Ieave you
? When I Iook into those great big eyes
? Oh, my goodness
? I Iove you, do you Iove me?
? Honey, if you don't, why don't ya?
? Honey, if you won't, why won't ya?
? Am I gonna have troubIe with you?
? I reaIIy ought to scoId you
? You'II have me oId and grey
? But when it's time to scoId you
? I hoId you in my arms and say
? Oh, my
? Oh, my
? Oh, my goodness
(German accent)
? Sometimes I ought to hate you
? You make me feeI so bIue
? But, honest, I can't hate you
? When you smiIe at me, my IoveIy Puppchen
? Ach, mein gutness
? You are my everythingovich
? You're Iike a day in springovich
? And you'II make my heart singovich
? Looky, Iooky, Iooky, here comes cooksky
? Oh, cha chornia
? I Iovee you, do you Iovee me?
? Mya kya kow kow seevsie
? Eenie meenie mo, that meansie
? Am I gonna have t-I-oubIe with you?
? Honey chiId, I reaIIy ought to scoId ya
? You'II have your mammy oId and grey
? Pickaninny, when it's time to scoId ya
? I just hoId you in my Iovin' arms and say
? Oh, my
? Hi-di-hi-di-hi-di-hi
? Oh, my goodness!
How are you feeIing, honey?
I wouIdn't know how to feeI any better.
WeII.
Ah.
- WiII you read to me from this?
- AII right. Which one is it to be?
It's the one where Betsy
runs away from the orphan asyIum
and meets Tony, the organ grinder,
and his monkey.
''Betsy Ware was two years oId
when her mother died.''
''Because the famiIy was poor,
Betsy couIdn't stay at home.''
''So she was sent to an orphan asyIum.''
Which was an ugIy red-brick buiIding
far, far away from where Betsy used to Iive.
Yes. ''From where Betsy used to Iive.''
''A young man came dancing
round the corner in a green coat
and bumped right into her.''
'''Excuse me,' said the young man.
'I'm aIways bumping into peopIe.'''
''That's why they caII me Puddin' Head...''
''So Mary couIdn't pIay that afternoon.
She had Iessons to do...''
No, no. Read what happened
after Betsy met Puddin' Head.
Oh, excuse me.
Why, I must have skipped a page.
- How is she?
- She's fine.
The doctor was here and he said there isn't
the sIightest thing the matter with her.
Now, you see, Mr Barry?
She's perfectIy aII right.
CoIIins gets panicky
every time the chiId sneezes.
CoIIins is right. I want every precaution taken.
Of course, I know
it's none of my business, Mr Barry,
but did you ever stop to consider
that the constant piIIing up
of precautions and attentions
was bad for the chiId?
Why, she's pampered
and watched over and babied to death.
- WouId you mind if I'd offer a suggestion?
- No, go ahead.
If I were you, I'd send Barbara to schooI
where she'II be with other chiIdren.
There may be something in that.
Perhaps schooI's the thing.
TeII CoIIins I wish to speak to her about it.
I know what CoIIins wiII say.
CoIIins aIways says no.
- HeIIo, Daddy.
- HeIIo, sweet.
Daddy, why do I aIways have to pIay aIone?
Why can't I pIay with other chiIdren?
- Honey, how wouId you Iike to go to schooI?
- Goody-goody!
- WeII, I guess that's settIed, then.
- Yes, Mr Barry?
I'm sending Barbara to schooI in the
Adirondacks, where her mother used to go.
But the chiId's much too young
for a summer camp.
Didn't I teII you CoIIins aIways said no?
I've onIy been foIIowing your instructions.
I'm sorry if...
She needs to be with other chiIdren.
Get in touch with
the Forest Grove SchooI right away.
Take care of aII the detaiIs.
- Yes, sir.
- (man) Mr Barry.
You wanted to Iisten to the changes
on your radio hour.
- The programme's on now.
- Oh, yes.
(fanfare on radio)
? B-a-r-r-y
? Why don't you buy a bar of Barry's?
? Every grocer carries Barry's
? You will find that Barry's little bubbles
? Make you kinda laugh
at your washing troubles
? Buy a bar of Barry's
? It's the berries, that's Barry's
? So run, don't waIk
? To the nearest exit
and find a bar of Barry's
And now the Barry baritone will sing
that new hit tune, ''When l'm With You''.
? Every street I waIk on becomes a Iovers Iane
? When I'm with you
? I can see the sun
though we're out in the rain
? When I'm with you
? To lose you would be tragic
? Here is my heart unfurled
? You have that certain magic
? You're the Seven Wonders of the World
? Snow is on the ground
but the Ieaves are on the trees
? When I'm with you
? Flowers sing a love song,
there's music in the breeze
? When l'm with you
? Ooh
? Please let me make this confession
? You are my magnifiicent obsession
? The world is all in rhyme, lovely one
? When l'm with you
(applause on radio)
You know, Daddy, this house wouIdn't be so
Ionesome if you'd stay home once in a whiIe.
If I stayed home aII the time,
there wouIdn't be any house.
Do you know, Daddy, I can sing that song,
and I've got my own words.
- Wanna hear them?
- Mm-hm.
? An ordinary day becomes a hoIiday
? When I'm with you
? I have Iots of toys but I don't wanna pIay
? When I'm with you
? Oh, Daddy, how I miss you
? You're busy aII your Iife
? I Iove to hug and kiss you
? Marry me and Iet me be your wife
? Every word I hear sounds Iike a IuIIaby
? When I'm with you
? Even funny spinach tastes Iike pumpkin pie
? When I'm with you
? Ooh
? In every dream I caress you
? And every night
I pray the Lord wiII bIess you
? The worId's a nursery rhyme, Daddy dear
? When I'm with you
Are you going to stay in schooI with me?
No, my dear.
I'm going to take a IittIe vacation.
- What's a vacation?
- It's a rest, dear.
Getting away from peopIe you've been with
and seeing new faces.
You reaIIy become
another person on a vacation.
- What person are you gonna be?
- Just another person.
- Is going to schooI a vacation?
- HardIy. Just the opposite.
You think CoIIins is strict,
but wait tiII you get to schooI.
There'II be no running to Woodward
or to your daddy.
You'II do just what you're toId.
I don't think I'm gonna Iike schooI.
- May I take Snoopy with me?
- No, my dear.
- You're not aIIowed to have dogs in schooI.
- No?
- No, indeed.
- That settIes it.
- AII right, darIing. We'd better get started.
- Come, my dear.
Goodbye, Snoopy.
Are they expecting you this evening?
I toId them we'd be out sometime this week.
You'd better wire them
and have a car meet you.
- I'II do it from the station.
- You're going to be very happy at schooI.
- Maybe.
- Maybe?
Sure you're going to be happy.
I'II be up and spend every weekend with you.
- Goodbye, sweetheart.
- Aren't you coming into the station with us?
I'm sorry. I can't. I'm Iate
for a business appointment aIready.
I'm aIways running away from you.
I'II make up for it Saturday and Sunday.
I'II spend every minute with you.
We'II have Iots of fun. Goodbye.
- Take good care of her, CoIIins.
- Yes, sir.
- What's this for?
- It weighs you for a penny.
- I wanna be weighed.
- WeII, I haven't a penny.
- I have a penny.
- AII right.
No, here.
On this side is your weight. 58 pounds.
And on this side is your fortune.
What does it say? What does it say?
It says you're going away on a Iong trip.
You're going to meet a Iot of strange peopIe.
What a smart machine.
Come, my dear.
Porter, I have to send a teIegram.
My purse. It's gone.
I must have dropped it.
Keep an eye on her. I'II be back in a minute.
Yes, ma'am.
- (screeching tyres)
- Look out, Iady!
(Collins screams)
Come on! Give her air!
- What's your name?
- Rufus Washington Jackson Lee.
- AII by yourseIf?
- (chuckles)
- My name is Betsy Ware.
- That's a mighty pretty name.
- Did you ever have a vacation?
- Oh, yes, missy. Lots and Iots of 'em.
- Are they fun?
- They are if you don't have too many.
I'II bet they're more fun than going to schooI.
I never had a vacation,
but I'm thinking about having one.
Look.
- Why don't you heIp your brother?
- Brother?
AII right, IittIe missy.
You just wait right here tiII I come back.
There was a Iady and IittIe girI with these.
They went away and didn't come back.
AII right.
- Has the woman been identified?
- No. No pocketbook, no Iaundry marks.
You'd better caII up the bureau of missing
persons and have a description sent out.
(hand organ playing ''Oh, My Goodness'')
It's Tony!
And his monkey!
Gee, that's a sweII hat.
I wish I couId have one Iike it.
- Here, take it.
- Oh, thanks.
- And you may have these, too.
- Thanks a Iot.
(speaks ltalian)
I know who you are. You're Tony.
That's right. Antonio is my middIe name.
I'm on my vacation.
Do you wanna come aIong?
You're very nice, IittIe bambina.
You go home to your mama.
- I have no mama.
- That's too bad.
Then go home to your papa.
- Say, what's your name?
- Betsy Ware.
I used to Iive in an orphanage,
but they were mean to me, awfuIIy mean.
- And now I'm on a vacation.
- Huh?
I'm on a vacation. To see new faces.
Your face doesn't Iook very new.
WeII, it's good enough for me. Goodbye.
Here comes Papa! Here comes Papa!
(children shout)
(they speak ltalian)
- Why you chase me for?
- I'm Betsy Ware.
I used to Iive in an orphanage,
but they were awfuI mean to me.
- And now I'm on a vacation.
- I know. You toId me that.
- And you no Iike my face.
- Yes, I do.
(speaks ltalian)
(Tony) Ma! Ma!
Who is she?
Mama, maybe she's hungry.
I go get her?
Come, you stay in my house tonight.
Eat the spaghetti. They're good.
Look, Iook. Like this. Look.
- Here.
- Thank you.
(speaks ltalian)
- I sneezed.
- Salute.
Salute.
- Don't I have to go to bed?
- What's the matter?
- You're sIeepy?
- You eat first.
I Iike it here.
So IittIe, and so sweet.
Maybe we keep her. Yes?
Are you crazy? What you want to do?
You want to go to jaiI for the kidnap?
Five chiIdren you have aIready.
Six with the monkey.
AII right. Then I take her
to the poIiceman in the morning.
(speaks ltalian)
Come, bambina.
(speaks ltalian)
(speaks ltalian)
(whispers in ltalian)
- So fast she sIeeps.
- Maybe we'II keep her, huh?
(? ''Oh, My Goodness'' on hand organ)
Mama, come on! Get up!
(music and laughter continues)
This music comes in handy for rehearsing.
- Rehearsing for what?
- Somebody may ask us to pIay a benefit.
Don't forget - we got another
radio audition tomorrow.
You know, this radio racket is a Iot tougher
than vaudeviIIe used to be.
- Remember when we got married?
- No, and don't remind me.
And, by the way, I'm getting tired
of these radio auditions.
If we don't Iand a sponsor soon,
I'm going home to my mother.
WeII, that's better than bringing
the oId battIe-axe here. I'm onIy kidding.
Honey, I've been working on a step that's
gonna start BiII Robinson taIking to himseIf.
Watch this.
Like to see anybody tie that.
(identical tapping)
(identical tapping)
- I'm going to see who that hoofer is!
- WhiIe you're there, take a few Iessons.
(Mama) Bravo, bambina! Bravo!
It's a kid. Jerry, Jerry!
Are you the one
who was answering my steps?
- Tony, who is she?
- She's an orphan.
She run away. She foIIow me here.
Jerry, she's a naturaI. Look at her.
Did you ever see a better bet?
- Who is she?
- She's part of our act, kid.
DoIan, DoIan and DoIan.
Say, what's your name?
Betsy Ware. Are you Puddin' Head?
(children laugh)
I'II say he's Puddin' Head. Come on.
- What's this aII about?
- Don't you see?
That kid's a noveIty.
Just what we need for the act.
You crazy?
What do you know about the chiId?
AII there is to know.
She ran away from an orphan asyIum.
Orphan asyIum! Did you notice her hands?
They don't manicure 'em in orphan asyIums.
WeII, I don't know. Friend of mine
got his hair cut in Sing Sing.
You're aIways making
mountains out of mothbaIIs.
Supposing the kid's story does turn out
to be a phoney? So we beIieved it.
We fed her, took care of her
and put her on the air.
- They can't hang you for that, can they?
- They can try.
Wait a minute.
I want the poIice department.
Bureau of missing persons.
Bureau of missing persons?
Is anybody missing?
Oh, thousands of peopIe?
That's very interesting.
Did anybody report a kid missing
by the name of Betsy Ware?
But, Jimmy...
No record? Oh.
No, no. I don't wanna make a report.
No, thanks.
But if I shouId ever Iose a kid by that name,
I'II Iet you know.
What? Oh, wise guy, hey?
- You'd better turn her in anyway.
- I teII you, it's OK.
Wait a minute. Listen, sweetheart. Remember,
you're Bonnie DoIan, the radio star.
Don't use your reaI name around here.
Just forget that you're Betsy Ware.
- Are we pIaying a game?
- That's it, a game.
- WiII you pIay aIong with it?
- Mm-hm. I Iove games.
- AII right. Now, don't forget, Betsy.
- The name's Bonnie DoIan.
We're DoIan, DoIan and DoIan.
We have an appointment with Dan Ward
of the Ward and WaIIace advertising agency.
Oh, yes. For an audition.
Room B to your right, pIease.
- HeIIo, Mr Ward. Mr Ward.
- Yes?
This is my wife, Jerry.
And this is our kid, Bonnie DoIan.
Have we got an act!
Have we got an act? I'm asking you.
Don't ask me, show me!
? Bong!
? This is station L-O-V-E
? Bong!
? I'm Cupid's assistant, pIease Iisten to me
? My boss, Mr Cupid, toId me
? To make hearts Ioop the Ioop
? Never ever to sing about
the ''good ship IoIIipop''
? Or ''animaI crackers in my soup''
? So if the one you idoIise is near you
? A song of Iove wiII heIp you find the way
? Cupid says a wiIIing heart wiII hear you
? If you move a IittIe cIoser
? Thank you
? Press his IittIe hand
? That's fine
? Now Iook into his eyes and say...
? You are an angeI without any wings
? A vision so IoveIy to see
? Are you the reason my happy heart sings?
? But definiteIy
? WiII I for ever be faithfuI to you?
? You're mine and you aIways must be
? Do I adore you? You know that I do
? But definiteIy
? So definiteIy
? You are the moon, the stars, the sun
? You're every beat of my heart
? You're so supreme
? But if it aII turns out to be
onIy a beautifuI dream
? Let's keep on dreaming
? MiIIions or biIIions can't equaI your worth
? Your Iove is a bIessing to me
? Are you an armfuI of heaven here on earth?
? You are
? But definiteIy
? When you are crooning the bIue of the day
? And whistIing the goId of the dawn
? Bing-bing!
? Are you my favourite?
You know that you are
? But definiteIy
? Bo bo-bo-bo-bo
? WiII I for ever?
(whistles tune)
? You aIways must be, be-be-be-be
? Do I adore you? You know that I do
? But definiteIy
? So definiteIy
? You are the moon, the stars, the sun
? You're every beat of my heart
? So supreme
? But if it aII turns out to be
onIy a beautifuI dream
? Let's keep on dreaming
? MiIIions or biIIions can't equaI your worth
? Your Iove is a bIessing to me
? Are you an armfuI of heaven here on earth?
? You are
? B-b-but definiteIy
? The name of this song ain't ''Dinah''
? The name of this song ain't ''Dinah''
? The name of this song ain't ''Dinah''
? It's ''But DefiniteIy''
Not bad. I'II be right out.
I have a cIient who might be interested.
You wait here.
- Didn't he Iike what we did?
- Sure.
I guess he's gone
to the next room to appIaud.
Margaret? This is Dan. Listen, I've got the
greatest act that's ever been offered to radio.
It's no use, Dan.
Mr Peckjust won't go on the air.
I know he won't go for girIs, and I know he
won't go for crooners, but he'II go for this.
But you said we were good.
Never pay any attention to what he says.
Maybe we were too good.
- Oh, uh...
- Yes?
- This cIient of mine...
- Yeah?
- ..that I was teIIing you about...
- Yes?
..wiII see you this afternoon.
- We're good!
- We're good! We're good! We're good!
- Can you be there at three?
- Can we be there at three?
- Can we be there at three?
- We'II be there at five minutes to three.
Good afternoon. Peck's Soap Company.
Good afternoon. Peck's Soap Company.
I don't care how good they are!
I teII you, I don't want a radio show!
But, Mr Peck,
if you'd onIy give them an audition...
It's a most unusuaI act, Mr Peck.
They'II be up here in a few moments.
- Shut up!
- (phone rings)
Oh.
Mr Barry of the Barry Soap Company is here.
Says he has an appointment.
Do you know what that young upstart wants?
TeIephoned me, said he wanted to see me.
- I have no idea.
- WeII, I have.
He wants me to buy him out.
Buy him out?
Why, Mr Peck, the Barry saIes are...
I know he's been seIIing soap!
But he's been spending 11 cents on baIIyhoo
for every 10-cent cake he's soId.
- But the figures show...
- Figures!
It takes no genius to offer five-doIIar biIIs
for four eighty and do a voIume of business.
But the day of reckoning is aIways around
the corner, and it's caught up with Barry.
ShaII I show him in?
Yes, show him in.
You stay, Gooch.
- WeII, weII. If it isn't Peck's bad girI.
- HeIIo, Mr Barry.
- Mr Peck wants you to go right in.
- That's mighty white of the oId man.
Listen, how wouId you Iike
to have Iunch with your boss?
- With my boss?
- Sure. I'm gonna buy up the whoIe shebang.
It's on its Iast Iegs and Peck'II probabIy
be gIad to seII it for a song.
- What's funny about that?
- (telephonist) Yes, sir. I'II teII him.
Mr Peck wants to know what's deIaying you.
The oId boy can't wait. See you Iater.
WeII...
Mr Peck...
Yes, Mr Barry?
Just what can I do for you today?
WeII, Peck, I understand that this pIace
is going to... going to pot.
Now, I might consider
taking it off your hands.
But... do I understand you to say...?
You understand me to say
that I'II buy you out. How much?
Have you the coIossaI insoIence
to suggest that I seII my business to you?
Why not? You've been Iosing money
for two years. You're practicaIIy broke.
Get out! Get out, before I kick you out!
Now get out.
I gather that he doesn't want to seII.
Is that your impression too?
- DefiniteIy.
- Very weII.
Good day.
HeIIo, boss.
Boss or no boss,
how about the date for Iuncheon?
WeII, I couIdn't possibIy.
Come on, be a sport.
You're even with me, aren't you?
I'm ahead of you.
When wiII it be?
- Oh, Friday at one?
- Fine. At the Savoy?
Say, Margaret,
isn't he one of our competitors?
As far as I'm concerned,
he has no competition.
(whistles ''When l'm With You'')
(man) 16.
Peck's Soap Company.
- We're DoIan, DoIan and DoIan.
- The radio stars.
Oh, yes. DoIan, DoIan and DoIan.
And which one are you?
I'm the one in the middIe.
Miss AIIen's busy at the moment.
WiII you wait in her office?
Thank you.
DarIing, don't do that.
Be a good girI and sit down over there.
- I wanna taIk to Puddin' Head a minute.
- Do me a favour and stop worrying.
- You're beginning to Iook terribIe.
- Why wouIdn't I?
I dozed off this morning at 3.30
and sIept Iike a Iog tiII four.
(Jimmy) The way you're acting,
you'd think we were kidnappers.
(Jerry) That's what I'm afraid the judge
wiII think. We may get off with Iife.
HeIIo.
- How'd you get in here? Who are you?
- I'm Bonnie DoIan, the big radio star.
You know, DoIan, DoIan and DoIan.
And are we good!
Ah.
So they sent you in here
to soften me up, did they?
Young Iady, you're wasting your time.
Now get outta here.
- Why have you got so many doors?
- To keep out nuisances one door won't stop.
- But they aII open.
- Ah.
- What's this?
- Nothing to do with you.
Now, get aIong with you.
Why do you want me to go? You're aII aIone,
and I'm not doing anything, either.
- TeII me a story.
- I don't know any stories.
You know, you remind me
of oId Mr SpindIeshanks.
- Who?
- Mr SpindIeshanks.
He's the grouch in the Betsy Ware stories
who heIps Betsy when she's hungry...
Hungry? You're not hungry, are you?
No. I just had Iunch,
and I did something bad, too.
- What'd you do?
- WeII, we had spinach.
And whiIe Jimmy wasn't Iooking,
I put mine on his pIate.
No, no. That is wrong.
You shouId have eaten your spinach.
It's good for you.
So I've heard.
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to get aIong.
- Why?
- You said for me to.
I didn't say anything of the kind.
AII I said was that spinach was good for you.
Come back here.
Sit down over there.
(Peck sighs)
(Barbara sighs)
Come over here.
You Iike these pictures?
- Do you know something?
- What?
I didn't think I was gonna Iike you at first.
But I Iike you now.
- Do you?
- Yes.
- Your eyebrows are so nice and ragged.
- (stutters)
AII right.
So you're a singer, are you?
Mm-hm.
- Sing a song for me.
- AII right.
? Buy a bar of Barry's
- ? Every grocer carries Barry's...
- Stop it! Stop it, I say!
- What's the matter?
- Where'd you Iearn that trash?
On the radio. I heard it on the radio.
Ah.
Radio. There oughta be a Iaw against it.
Now, come on.
Look at the pictures.
- Do you know how to pIay piggyback?
- (stutters)
- No, I don't think I do.
- Oh, it's easy.
Stand up. Stand up.
Turn round.
Now I put my arms around your neck Iike this.
Now go Iike this.
? Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
to see a fine Iady upon a white horse
? Rings on her fingers and beIIs on her toes,
she shaII have music wherever she goes
Now you run around and around
whiIe you sing it. Take my Iegs.
? Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
to see a fine Iady upon a white horse
? Rings on her fingers and beIIs on her toes,
she shaII have music...
Get out! Can't you see I'm in conference?
? Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
Whoa!
- Do you aIways teII peopIe to get out?
- When I'm engaged in important business.
? Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
to see a fine Iady on a white horse
Sorry, foIks, to keep you waiting.
I'm Miss AIIen.
Where's the chiId?
You haven't forgotten her?
- She was just here.
- Mr Peck wants to see you at once.
You'd better go right in.
I'II Iook for the chiId. Right in there.
? Rings on her fingers and beIIs on her toes,
she shaII have music wherever she goes
(knocking)
Come in.
Ah.
So you thought you'd trick me
into going on the air, did you?
Oh, no.
You deIiberateIy sent this chiId
to infIuence me.
WeII, I'II Iet you know, it didn't work.
As a matter of fact, I made up my mind
a Iong time ago to go on the air.
But she had nothing to do with it,
nothing whatever.
She didn't infIuence me the sIightest.
Now, understand that.
- Yes, of course.
- Arrange for time on the air at once.
I want these foIks to start
on a series of 15-minute programmes
five nights a week, starting tomorrow night.
Tomorrow night?
But, Mr Peck, I couIdn't possibIy do that...
Then make it possibIe!
Didn't I teII you aII we needed was a break?
- 13 weeks on the dotted Iine.
- It's wonderfuI, Jimmy.
- I hope we cIick.
- Why, we'II knock 'em dead.
- Do we have to kiII peopIe?
- No, we won't kiII them. We'II just sIay them.
Oh.
They'II be on in a few minutes.
And if you wanna see a radio show
that'II make yours Iook sick...
They can't be that good.
AII right, I'II Iisten.
I'II teII you about it at Iunch tomorrow.
Goodbye.
(applause)
Ginsberg's Troubadours
are on in just a moment, sir.
Now, my dear, remember,
there are a Iot of peopIe out there,
and you mustn't be nervous,
you mustn't be afraid.
- Afraid of what?
- That's just it, my dear.
There's nothing to be afraid of, reaIIy,
but this is aII going to be new to you.
- Do you want me to be afraid?
- Heavens, no, darIing.
That's why I'm teIIing you.
If I do get afraid,
it'II be on account of you taIking so much.
(stutters)
You're right, my dear.
You're perfectIy... Let's have Iess chatter!
DoIan, DoIan and DoIan, ready!
Tonight we are inaugurating the Peck Soap
Hour over the Federal Broadcasting System.
It is with great pIeasure
that I present DoIan, DoIan and DoIan,
with DonaId Hastings' orchestra.
(? orchestral piece)
(phone rings)
HeIIo?
Yes?
What?
I'm sorry. I can't hear you.
Just a minute.
(switches radio off)
Yes, Hathaway?
? Wash your necks with a cake of Peck's
? Soap that can't be beat
? It's best by far, so try a bar
? And give your skin a treat
? It wiII give oId Mr Germ
a wiId and merry chase
? So join our cIub and Peck's wiII scrub
that frown right off your face
? Though your eyes are fuII of bubbIes
? And through darkness you must grope
? PIease remember this
? Where there's Iife there's soap
I'II be right over.
I was onIy gonna Iisten to a radio programme,
but I guess I'm not missing anything.
? Every street I waIk on becomes a Iovers Iane
? When I'm with you
? I can see the sun
though we're out in the rain
? When I'm with you
? To Iose you wouId be tragic
? Here is my heart unfurIed
? You have that certain magic
? You're the Seven Wonders of the WorId
? Snow is on the ground
but the Ieaves are on the trees
? When I'm with you
? FIowers sing a Iove song,
there's music in the breeze
? When I'm with you
? Mmm
? PIease Iet me make this confession
? You are my magnificent obsession
? The worId is aII in rhyme, IoveIy one
? When I'm with you
? I want your cheeks to be rosy
? Your Iips Iike the coIour of wine
? DarIing, the way that peopIe wiII say that
? My, but you're Iooking so fine
? Ooh
? I want you strong as ApoIIo
? A sturdy and mascuIine sheikh
? DarIing, the way that peopIe wiII say that
? My, what a gorgeous physique
? If you wanna be Iike I want you to be
? FoIIow this carefuIIy
? You've gotta eat your spinach, baby
? That's the proper thing to do
? It'II keep you kinda heaIthy too
? And what it did for Popeye, it wiII do for you
? You've gotta eat your spinach, baby
? To give you Iots of TN ? For whenever you're caressing me
? Then you'II need every vitamin from A to Z
? PIease take my advice
? Kissing is dangerous, doctors aII agree
? I'II take your advice
? Don't ever kiss anybody but me
? You've gotta eat your spinach, baby
? If you do, you can't go wrong
? For it's gonna make you nice and strong
? And the stronger you are,
the Ionger you'II Iive
? And the Ionger I'II have to Iove you
Pardon me. Did I hear you say spinach?
(both) Spinach.
? I represent aII the kids of the nation
who sent me to see you about it
? I bring a message from the kids
of the nation to teII you we can do without it
? KindIy Iisten to me
? I'm not aIone in my pIea
? There are dozens and dozens
and dozens of us
? Nephews and nieces and cousins of us
? They want me to say
? HaIIeIujah
? HaIIeIujah
? No spinach
? Take away that awfuI greenery
? No spinach
? Give us Iots ofjeIIy beanery
? We positiveIy refuse to budge
? We Iike IoIIipops, we Iike fudge
? But no spinach
? Hosanna
? You've gotta eat your spinach, baby
? No, no, no, no
? I'm singing to ya, no, no, no, no
? HaIIeIujah, spinach, stay away from my door
? We'II teII the bogeyman
? The big, big, bad, bad, bogey, bogeyman
? Oh, that's just a bIuff
? You know we don't beIieve that stuff
? You've gotta eat your spinach, baby
? ChiIdren have to do as they are toId
? Yes, sir
? Yes, ma'am
? ChiIdren shouIdn't be so very boId
? Yes, sir
? Yes, ma'am
? Or you'II grow up
to be a meanie when you're oId
? Yes, sir
? Yes, ma'am
? I wiII teII aII the kids of the nation
who sent me to see you about it
- ? ChiIdren have to do what they are toId
- ? Mm-hm
- ? ChiIdren shouIdn't be so very boId
- ? Mm-hm
? Or you wiII be a meanie when you're oId
? So, OK, spinach!
- Then you didn't hear our broadcast?
- No, I was caIIed away before it started.
- How did it go over?
- BeautifuIIy. The chiId's marveIIous.
Besides being taIented, she's
the sweetest IittIe thing. I'm crazy about her.
Yes? You ought to see my youngster.
She's away at schooI.
I'm going up there tomorrow for the weekend.
- I beIieve I have a picture with me.
- You know you have.
I... I guess I Ieft it in another suit.
I'II bring it aIong next time.
Next time? What next time?
Oh, haven't I toId you?
You're having dinner with me tonight.
I'm going to be Iistening
to our radio broadcast.
Fine. We'II both Iisten whiIe we're having
cocktaiIs, and then we'II go out to dinner.
Are you, by any chance,
giving me what's known as the rush act?
No. I'm doing this for my insomnia.
You see, you've turned the tabIes on me.
- What do you mean?
- I mean now you're keeping me awake nights.
(Margaret laughs)
''In their Iast night's premiere,
DoIan, DoIan and DoIan's radio act
proved to be sock entertainment.''
Yeah. So is this.
You're aIways beIittIing.
And you can heave that stuff in the ashcan.
We're on top of the worId now. PeopIe don't
waIk on top of the worId in darned socks.
That's just the pIace to wear 'em.
Your feet don't sIip so easy.
Oh.
Gee, that's sweII. DoIan, DoIan and DoIan.
- Are you happy with us, darIing?
- Mm-hm.
My goodness, she sneezed!
Get the doctor, quick.
- Maybe we oughta put her to bed.
- Why don't you just say ''salute''?
- How about gesundheit?
- Danke schon.
- Hey, what is this?
- She's not sick.
WeII, nearIy time to get down
to the broadcasting station, big shot.
WiII I have time to go and see
Tony and the kids?
Sure. We'II pick you up on the way out.
HeIIo.
- HeIIo.
- What's your name?
- Bonnie DoIan.
- Go on. Don't give me that.
You don't beIong to those foIks.
What's your reaI name?
- You Iike peppermint candy?
- Mm-hm.
WaIk down to the corner with me
and I'II buy you some.
Hey! Where are you going with that kid?
I was just taking her to buy her some candy.
Yeah? If anybody's going to buy her candy,
it'II be me.
I was just trying to be friendIy.
- Cute IittIe trick, ain't she?
- Yeah.
Come on.
(? orchestral version of ''Oh, My Goodness'')
(turns down volume)
(buzzer)
I'm sorry. I got tangIed
in a deaI for another factory.
AIways another factory.
You'II drown in your own soap suds yet.
I'm afraid I can't afford to drown now.
You know, you Iook very IoveIy tonight.
Here. Have a cocktaiI.
It'II heIp sustain the iIIusion.
- Have I missed aII the programme?
- Most of it.
But Bonnie goes on again
after this orchestra finishes.
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
America's new sweetheart of the year,
little Bonnie Dolan will sing
her own version of ''When l'm With You''.
? An ordinary day becomes a hoIiday
? When I'm with you
- It's uncanny.
- Isn't she wonderfuI?
I mean her voice,
it's... it's just Iike Barbara's.
If I didn't know my chiId
was at schooI, I'd swear to it.
AII chiIdren's voices sound about aIike.
It's just that sIight difference
that makes Bonnie stand out.
A proud father probabIy
wouIdn't even notice that difference.
? Marry me and let me be your wife
- That's Barbara. It is.
- Are you Iosing your mind?
- That's Bonnie DoIan.
- But, I teII you, it's my daughter.
- Where's your phone?
- Right there.
? Even funny spinach tastes Iike pumpkin pie
? When I'm with you
? Ooh
You're just making
a compIete idiot of yourseIf...
- Be quiet. CentraI 88632.
- I wiII not be quiet.
You must be crazy.
I know the chiId and her parents.
I teII you, I'm her parent.
HeIIo. This is Richard Barry taIking.
You have my daughter there,
the IittIe girI singing on the Peck Hour.
- HoId her. I'II be right over.
- Your daughter.
HeIIo, operator? Give me the Forest Grove
SchooI. At FerncIiff. Yes, quick.
- This is CoIumbus 8514.
- You're just stirring up a mess of troubIe.
- Why are you so stubborn?
- You're stubborn.
Why do I have to marry a girI Iike this?
Who said you're going to?
I wouIdn't marry you...
You'II marry me if I want you to.
- HeIIo?
- This is Richard Barry taIking.
- Is my daughter Barbara there?
- No, Mr Barry. We're waiting for her.
- Haven't you received a wire from her nurse?
- No, Mr Barry. ShaII we...
- She never got to the schooI.
- ReaIIy?
Come on.
And were you good!
We certainIy sIayed them, didn't we?
Come on, darIing.
Great IittIe trooper, that kid.
Just Iike her father. I taught her aII she knows.
When she was six months oId,
the name of the act was DoIan and DoIan.
- Then she used to...
- Mr Peck, Mr Barry just phoned.
Said Bonnie is his daughter
and wants us to hoId her here.
Barry, huh? Trying to put something
over on me again. The nerve!
- What eIse did he say?
- That's aII, except he was on his way over.
Good! I'II teII that cheap upstart
just where he gets off.
Trying to steaI my taIent, is he? I'II sue him.
Here, you get your wife and chiId
and get them out of here.
I know how to handIe Barry!
- Let's get outta here. Don't ask questions.
- Where are we going?
Taxi!
Taxi!
Taxi!
Listen, honey, teII us the truth.
Do you know Mr Barry?
- You won't be angry if I teII you?
- No, sweetheart.
Mr Barry's my daddy.
I toId you she didn'tjump out of a hat,
that they'd catch up with us.
- What'II we do now?
- There's onIy one thing.
Take her home, teIephone Barry
where she is and then duck. FIag a taxi.
- Taxi!
- I shouId have known better.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
AII we've got to do is...
Oh.
- An awfuIIy nice kid you have there.
- Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Taxi. Taxi!
(Jerry) DarIing, we've got to go. Something
has come up and we've got to go right away.
- (Barbara) Can't I go with you?
- (Jimmy) No, you stay here.
But I don't wanna stay here aII aIone.
Honey, do us a big favour. Stay right here.
Listen, sweet, you stay here,
we'II caII your daddy
and he'II come for you in a few minutes.
Oh.
Here, sweet. PIay with your toys.
(music box tinkles)
Goodbye, darIing.
Goodbye.
Goodbye, Puddin' Head.
Come on.
A fine cock-and-buII story. If she's
your daughter, what's she doing here?
- I have no time to expIain now. Where is she?
- She's gone, and don't teII him where she is.
- Can't you see I'm teIIing you the truth?
- (phone rings)
Yes? Yes.
It's for you, Richard.
Yes?
What's the number of the house?
Yes, what fIoor?
The parIour fIoor, the first door to your Ieft.
I know where she is. She's aII aIone!
Is she reaIIy your daughter?
Isn't that what I've been teIIing you,
you crazy oId buzzard?
We're a coupIe of heeIs,
running out on the kid.
- I know, but...
- And a coupIe of saps.
- They're bound to get us.
- I guess you're right.
Everybody knows DoIan and DoIan.
They know we had the kid, too.
Of course, and if we run away, it'II Iook worse.
Come on. Let's go back and face it.
Come on, now. Be a nice IittIe girI.
I'II buy you a pretty present
if you teII me who your father is.
I won't teII you. I don't Iike you.
- You'd better teII.
- I won't! I won't! You Iet me go!
- No, you don't. You're coming with me.
- I am not! I am not!
I'm waiting! I'm waiting! I promised Jerry!
Hey! Where are you going with that kid?
Jimmy, Iead with your Ieft!
Hit him hard, Puddin' Head!
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
- Daddy! Daddy! Oh, Daddy!
- (Jerry) Are you aII right, Jimmy?
- Who brought you here?
- They did.
- Where's CoIIins?
- I don't know.
She Iost her purse and went away.
So I thought I'd go on a vacation.
I found Tony, and then
Mr and Mrs Puddin' Head found me.
What are they doing, Daddy?
They're hurting them, and they're my friends.
They're my best friends.
They saved me from that bad man.
She toId us she ran away from
an orphan asyIum, and we beIieved her.
- Didn't you teII us that, Bonnie?
- Yes, I did.
But I wasn't teIIing a Iie. I was just pIaying
a game, and they pIayed with me.
I see.
I've never had so much fun in my whoIe Iife.
But I'm gIad to be back with you, Daddy.
Barbara. Officers,
I'm afraid I've put you to a Iot of bother.
- You needn't hoId those peopIe any Ionger.
- Wait. I've got a contract.
- You know what that contract's worth?
- You've been trying to buy each other out.
Why don't you merge the two companies?
You can wash the neck of the whoIe nation.
- That's a thought.
- Merge with him? Never!
I don't know what that means,
but why don't you do it?
? When I hear the bIast of a bugIe
? I know I soon wiII see
? A miIitary man
? When I hear the sound of a drum
? Rum tummy tum-tum
? I know I soon wiII see
? A miIitary man
? I Iove a miIitary man
? I Iove a miIitary man
? I Iove a miIitary... nurse
(woman) ? My, but it's so grand
to see a miIitary man
? Every boy shouId want to be a miIitary man
? What a treat to marching feet
the roII of a drum
? What a treat to marching feet the rum-tum
(man) ? The rummy tum-tum-tum
(woman) ? In a crowd he Iooks so proud,
the miIitary man
? In his uniform so spic and span
? Hearts are fiIIed with joy
and they're thriIIed with joy
? Whenever a march is pIayed
? For everybody Ioves to see a soIdier parade
- DefiniteIy.
Spinach is very rich in vitamins.
I might say disgustingIy rich.
And very good for you, Miss Barbara.
Why is it so many things
you don't Iike are good for you?
I couIdn't say offhand, Miss Barbara,
but you must eat some more of your spinach.
Why do I have to?
Your Iunch caIIs for so many vitamins,
and you must have them.
AII right.
My goodness, that was an awfuI big vitamin.
- Have you finished, Miss Barbara?
- But definiteIy.
(sneezes)
The third sneeze.
Let me see your tongue.
I'm afraid you'II have to go to bed.
I'm not sick. I feeI fine.
CoIIins, she's perfectIy weII.
A sneeze is nothing to be aIarmed at.
Perhaps not, but I'm responsibIe for the chiId.
Come, my dear.
Phone for Dr PaImer.
The chiId sneezes and you'd think
the worId was coming to an end.
Can't they Ieave her aIone?
She's a perfectIy normaI, heaIthy chiId.
The way they carry on,
you'd think she was made of gIass.
Something ought to be done with CoIIins.
- How Mr Barry can...
- Sshh!
..stand that femaIe is beyond me.
WeII, you can't expect a widower
and a man as busy as Mr Barry is
to notice everything
that's going on in the house.
Better do your teIephoning.
No, itjust seems to be a sIight coId,
but Mr Barry aIways wants us to notify him.
Just got a message from Barry's home.
His chiId is iII.
Just got a message
from Barry's home. His chiId is iII.
OK, I'II see that he gets the message.
(intercom buzzes)
Mr Barry is wanted at home at once.
His child is quite ill.
ReaIIy?
- Where's Mr Barry?
- At the househoId exhibit.
- His daughter's seriousIy iII.
- I'II go over to the show and pick him up.
If he phones, teII him I'm on my way over.
Thank you. Be ready
for the opening of the exhibit at 2.15.
(women) Yes, Mr Barry.
(clattering)
- May I heIp?
- Thank you.
Seems I can't do anything
without Barry making troubIe for me.
I hate that man.
He causes me more sIeepIess nights...
SIeepIess nights? What does he do,
pIay a sIide trombone under your window?
Everything but that. I Iay awake
haIf the night thinking up new ideas.
Then I find Barry's not onIy beaten me
to them, he's topped me in a thousand ways.
I wish he'd drown in his own soap suds.
- I shouIdn't be boring you with my troubIes.
- That's aII right.
- Are you in this business?
- Yes.
I'm with the Peck Company. Advertising.
(laughs)
I see. I'm sorry you disIike this feIIow Barry,
though. He's reaIIy not a bad sort.
- Do you know him?
- SIightIy. My barber cuts his hair.
- Maybe I couId bribe him to cut his throat.
- Mr Barry, do you think she'II be aII right?
I don't know. Let me see.
- Yes, she'II do very niceIy.
- Thank you, Mr Barry. Just what I thought.
Of aII the rotten tricks! Letting me
taIk my head off without teIIing me.
Just another exampIe
of Barry cIeverness, I suppose.
What was she burning about?
I keep her awake nights.
Mr Barry, you're wanted at home right away.
Barbara's very iII.
? Oh me, oh my
? I'm so sad that I couId cry
? With a very good reason why
? I've no one to be gay with
? That's why I wear a frown
? No chiIdren I can pIay with
? London Bridge is faIIing down
? My fair Iady
? I wanna make mud pies
? In fact, I'd Iike to be a mess
? I wanna make mud pies
? I know that I'd find happiness
? If I gotjam on my fingers,
chocoIate on my face
? And moIasses aII over my dress
? You're the onIy friends I've ever had
? But one minute you're good
? And the very next minute you're bad
? At times I ought to hate you
? You make me feeI so bIue
? But, honest, I can't hate you
? When you smiIe at me the way you do
? Oh, my goodness
? There are times I want to Ieave you
? You teII such awfuI Iies
? But I couId never Ieave you
? When I Iook into those great big eyes
? Oh, my goodness
? I Iove you, do you Iove me?
? Honey, if you don't, why don't ya?
? Honey, if you won't, why won't ya?
? Am I gonna have troubIe with you?
? I reaIIy ought to scoId you
? You'II have me oId and grey
? But when it's time to scoId you
? I hoId you in my arms and say
? Oh, my
? Oh, my
? Oh, my goodness
(German accent)
? Sometimes I ought to hate you
? You make me feeI so bIue
? But, honest, I can't hate you
? When you smiIe at me, my IoveIy Puppchen
? Ach, mein gutness
? You are my everythingovich
? You're Iike a day in springovich
? And you'II make my heart singovich
? Looky, Iooky, Iooky, here comes cooksky
? Oh, cha chornia
? I Iovee you, do you Iovee me?
? Mya kya kow kow seevsie
? Eenie meenie mo, that meansie
? Am I gonna have t-I-oubIe with you?
? Honey chiId, I reaIIy ought to scoId ya
? You'II have your mammy oId and grey
? Pickaninny, when it's time to scoId ya
? I just hoId you in my Iovin' arms and say
? Oh, my
? Hi-di-hi-di-hi-di-hi
? Oh, my goodness!
How are you feeIing, honey?
I wouIdn't know how to feeI any better.
WeII.
Ah.
- WiII you read to me from this?
- AII right. Which one is it to be?
It's the one where Betsy
runs away from the orphan asyIum
and meets Tony, the organ grinder,
and his monkey.
''Betsy Ware was two years oId
when her mother died.''
''Because the famiIy was poor,
Betsy couIdn't stay at home.''
''So she was sent to an orphan asyIum.''
Which was an ugIy red-brick buiIding
far, far away from where Betsy used to Iive.
Yes. ''From where Betsy used to Iive.''
''A young man came dancing
round the corner in a green coat
and bumped right into her.''
'''Excuse me,' said the young man.
'I'm aIways bumping into peopIe.'''
''That's why they caII me Puddin' Head...''
''So Mary couIdn't pIay that afternoon.
She had Iessons to do...''
No, no. Read what happened
after Betsy met Puddin' Head.
Oh, excuse me.
Why, I must have skipped a page.
- How is she?
- She's fine.
The doctor was here and he said there isn't
the sIightest thing the matter with her.
Now, you see, Mr Barry?
She's perfectIy aII right.
CoIIins gets panicky
every time the chiId sneezes.
CoIIins is right. I want every precaution taken.
Of course, I know
it's none of my business, Mr Barry,
but did you ever stop to consider
that the constant piIIing up
of precautions and attentions
was bad for the chiId?
Why, she's pampered
and watched over and babied to death.
- WouId you mind if I'd offer a suggestion?
- No, go ahead.
If I were you, I'd send Barbara to schooI
where she'II be with other chiIdren.
There may be something in that.
Perhaps schooI's the thing.
TeII CoIIins I wish to speak to her about it.
I know what CoIIins wiII say.
CoIIins aIways says no.
- HeIIo, Daddy.
- HeIIo, sweet.
Daddy, why do I aIways have to pIay aIone?
Why can't I pIay with other chiIdren?
- Honey, how wouId you Iike to go to schooI?
- Goody-goody!
- WeII, I guess that's settIed, then.
- Yes, Mr Barry?
I'm sending Barbara to schooI in the
Adirondacks, where her mother used to go.
But the chiId's much too young
for a summer camp.
Didn't I teII you CoIIins aIways said no?
I've onIy been foIIowing your instructions.
I'm sorry if...
She needs to be with other chiIdren.
Get in touch with
the Forest Grove SchooI right away.
Take care of aII the detaiIs.
- Yes, sir.
- (man) Mr Barry.
You wanted to Iisten to the changes
on your radio hour.
- The programme's on now.
- Oh, yes.
(fanfare on radio)
? B-a-r-r-y
? Why don't you buy a bar of Barry's?
? Every grocer carries Barry's
? You will find that Barry's little bubbles
? Make you kinda laugh
at your washing troubles
? Buy a bar of Barry's
? It's the berries, that's Barry's
? So run, don't waIk
? To the nearest exit
and find a bar of Barry's
And now the Barry baritone will sing
that new hit tune, ''When l'm With You''.
? Every street I waIk on becomes a Iovers Iane
? When I'm with you
? I can see the sun
though we're out in the rain
? When I'm with you
? To lose you would be tragic
? Here is my heart unfurled
? You have that certain magic
? You're the Seven Wonders of the World
? Snow is on the ground
but the Ieaves are on the trees
? When I'm with you
? Flowers sing a love song,
there's music in the breeze
? When l'm with you
? Ooh
? Please let me make this confession
? You are my magnifiicent obsession
? The world is all in rhyme, lovely one
? When l'm with you
(applause on radio)
You know, Daddy, this house wouIdn't be so
Ionesome if you'd stay home once in a whiIe.
If I stayed home aII the time,
there wouIdn't be any house.
Do you know, Daddy, I can sing that song,
and I've got my own words.
- Wanna hear them?
- Mm-hm.
? An ordinary day becomes a hoIiday
? When I'm with you
? I have Iots of toys but I don't wanna pIay
? When I'm with you
? Oh, Daddy, how I miss you
? You're busy aII your Iife
? I Iove to hug and kiss you
? Marry me and Iet me be your wife
? Every word I hear sounds Iike a IuIIaby
? When I'm with you
? Even funny spinach tastes Iike pumpkin pie
? When I'm with you
? Ooh
? In every dream I caress you
? And every night
I pray the Lord wiII bIess you
? The worId's a nursery rhyme, Daddy dear
? When I'm with you
Are you going to stay in schooI with me?
No, my dear.
I'm going to take a IittIe vacation.
- What's a vacation?
- It's a rest, dear.
Getting away from peopIe you've been with
and seeing new faces.
You reaIIy become
another person on a vacation.
- What person are you gonna be?
- Just another person.
- Is going to schooI a vacation?
- HardIy. Just the opposite.
You think CoIIins is strict,
but wait tiII you get to schooI.
There'II be no running to Woodward
or to your daddy.
You'II do just what you're toId.
I don't think I'm gonna Iike schooI.
- May I take Snoopy with me?
- No, my dear.
- You're not aIIowed to have dogs in schooI.
- No?
- No, indeed.
- That settIes it.
- AII right, darIing. We'd better get started.
- Come, my dear.
Goodbye, Snoopy.
Are they expecting you this evening?
I toId them we'd be out sometime this week.
You'd better wire them
and have a car meet you.
- I'II do it from the station.
- You're going to be very happy at schooI.
- Maybe.
- Maybe?
Sure you're going to be happy.
I'II be up and spend every weekend with you.
- Goodbye, sweetheart.
- Aren't you coming into the station with us?
I'm sorry. I can't. I'm Iate
for a business appointment aIready.
I'm aIways running away from you.
I'II make up for it Saturday and Sunday.
I'II spend every minute with you.
We'II have Iots of fun. Goodbye.
- Take good care of her, CoIIins.
- Yes, sir.
- What's this for?
- It weighs you for a penny.
- I wanna be weighed.
- WeII, I haven't a penny.
- I have a penny.
- AII right.
No, here.
On this side is your weight. 58 pounds.
And on this side is your fortune.
What does it say? What does it say?
It says you're going away on a Iong trip.
You're going to meet a Iot of strange peopIe.
What a smart machine.
Come, my dear.
Porter, I have to send a teIegram.
My purse. It's gone.
I must have dropped it.
Keep an eye on her. I'II be back in a minute.
Yes, ma'am.
- (screeching tyres)
- Look out, Iady!
(Collins screams)
Come on! Give her air!
- What's your name?
- Rufus Washington Jackson Lee.
- AII by yourseIf?
- (chuckles)
- My name is Betsy Ware.
- That's a mighty pretty name.
- Did you ever have a vacation?
- Oh, yes, missy. Lots and Iots of 'em.
- Are they fun?
- They are if you don't have too many.
I'II bet they're more fun than going to schooI.
I never had a vacation,
but I'm thinking about having one.
Look.
- Why don't you heIp your brother?
- Brother?
AII right, IittIe missy.
You just wait right here tiII I come back.
There was a Iady and IittIe girI with these.
They went away and didn't come back.
AII right.
- Has the woman been identified?
- No. No pocketbook, no Iaundry marks.
You'd better caII up the bureau of missing
persons and have a description sent out.
(hand organ playing ''Oh, My Goodness'')
It's Tony!
And his monkey!
Gee, that's a sweII hat.
I wish I couId have one Iike it.
- Here, take it.
- Oh, thanks.
- And you may have these, too.
- Thanks a Iot.
(speaks ltalian)
I know who you are. You're Tony.
That's right. Antonio is my middIe name.
I'm on my vacation.
Do you wanna come aIong?
You're very nice, IittIe bambina.
You go home to your mama.
- I have no mama.
- That's too bad.
Then go home to your papa.
- Say, what's your name?
- Betsy Ware.
I used to Iive in an orphanage,
but they were mean to me, awfuIIy mean.
- And now I'm on a vacation.
- Huh?
I'm on a vacation. To see new faces.
Your face doesn't Iook very new.
WeII, it's good enough for me. Goodbye.
Here comes Papa! Here comes Papa!
(children shout)
(they speak ltalian)
- Why you chase me for?
- I'm Betsy Ware.
I used to Iive in an orphanage,
but they were awfuI mean to me.
- And now I'm on a vacation.
- I know. You toId me that.
- And you no Iike my face.
- Yes, I do.
(speaks ltalian)
(Tony) Ma! Ma!
Who is she?
Mama, maybe she's hungry.
I go get her?
Come, you stay in my house tonight.
Eat the spaghetti. They're good.
Look, Iook. Like this. Look.
- Here.
- Thank you.
(speaks ltalian)
- I sneezed.
- Salute.
Salute.
- Don't I have to go to bed?
- What's the matter?
- You're sIeepy?
- You eat first.
I Iike it here.
So IittIe, and so sweet.
Maybe we keep her. Yes?
Are you crazy? What you want to do?
You want to go to jaiI for the kidnap?
Five chiIdren you have aIready.
Six with the monkey.
AII right. Then I take her
to the poIiceman in the morning.
(speaks ltalian)
Come, bambina.
(speaks ltalian)
(speaks ltalian)
(whispers in ltalian)
- So fast she sIeeps.
- Maybe we'II keep her, huh?
(? ''Oh, My Goodness'' on hand organ)
Mama, come on! Get up!
(music and laughter continues)
This music comes in handy for rehearsing.
- Rehearsing for what?
- Somebody may ask us to pIay a benefit.
Don't forget - we got another
radio audition tomorrow.
You know, this radio racket is a Iot tougher
than vaudeviIIe used to be.
- Remember when we got married?
- No, and don't remind me.
And, by the way, I'm getting tired
of these radio auditions.
If we don't Iand a sponsor soon,
I'm going home to my mother.
WeII, that's better than bringing
the oId battIe-axe here. I'm onIy kidding.
Honey, I've been working on a step that's
gonna start BiII Robinson taIking to himseIf.
Watch this.
Like to see anybody tie that.
(identical tapping)
(identical tapping)
- I'm going to see who that hoofer is!
- WhiIe you're there, take a few Iessons.
(Mama) Bravo, bambina! Bravo!
It's a kid. Jerry, Jerry!
Are you the one
who was answering my steps?
- Tony, who is she?
- She's an orphan.
She run away. She foIIow me here.
Jerry, she's a naturaI. Look at her.
Did you ever see a better bet?
- Who is she?
- She's part of our act, kid.
DoIan, DoIan and DoIan.
Say, what's your name?
Betsy Ware. Are you Puddin' Head?
(children laugh)
I'II say he's Puddin' Head. Come on.
- What's this aII about?
- Don't you see?
That kid's a noveIty.
Just what we need for the act.
You crazy?
What do you know about the chiId?
AII there is to know.
She ran away from an orphan asyIum.
Orphan asyIum! Did you notice her hands?
They don't manicure 'em in orphan asyIums.
WeII, I don't know. Friend of mine
got his hair cut in Sing Sing.
You're aIways making
mountains out of mothbaIIs.
Supposing the kid's story does turn out
to be a phoney? So we beIieved it.
We fed her, took care of her
and put her on the air.
- They can't hang you for that, can they?
- They can try.
Wait a minute.
I want the poIice department.
Bureau of missing persons.
Bureau of missing persons?
Is anybody missing?
Oh, thousands of peopIe?
That's very interesting.
Did anybody report a kid missing
by the name of Betsy Ware?
But, Jimmy...
No record? Oh.
No, no. I don't wanna make a report.
No, thanks.
But if I shouId ever Iose a kid by that name,
I'II Iet you know.
What? Oh, wise guy, hey?
- You'd better turn her in anyway.
- I teII you, it's OK.
Wait a minute. Listen, sweetheart. Remember,
you're Bonnie DoIan, the radio star.
Don't use your reaI name around here.
Just forget that you're Betsy Ware.
- Are we pIaying a game?
- That's it, a game.
- WiII you pIay aIong with it?
- Mm-hm. I Iove games.
- AII right. Now, don't forget, Betsy.
- The name's Bonnie DoIan.
We're DoIan, DoIan and DoIan.
We have an appointment with Dan Ward
of the Ward and WaIIace advertising agency.
Oh, yes. For an audition.
Room B to your right, pIease.
- HeIIo, Mr Ward. Mr Ward.
- Yes?
This is my wife, Jerry.
And this is our kid, Bonnie DoIan.
Have we got an act!
Have we got an act? I'm asking you.
Don't ask me, show me!
? Bong!
? This is station L-O-V-E
? Bong!
? I'm Cupid's assistant, pIease Iisten to me
? My boss, Mr Cupid, toId me
? To make hearts Ioop the Ioop
? Never ever to sing about
the ''good ship IoIIipop''
? Or ''animaI crackers in my soup''
? So if the one you idoIise is near you
? A song of Iove wiII heIp you find the way
? Cupid says a wiIIing heart wiII hear you
? If you move a IittIe cIoser
? Thank you
? Press his IittIe hand
? That's fine
? Now Iook into his eyes and say...
? You are an angeI without any wings
? A vision so IoveIy to see
? Are you the reason my happy heart sings?
? But definiteIy
? WiII I for ever be faithfuI to you?
? You're mine and you aIways must be
? Do I adore you? You know that I do
? But definiteIy
? So definiteIy
? You are the moon, the stars, the sun
? You're every beat of my heart
? You're so supreme
? But if it aII turns out to be
onIy a beautifuI dream
? Let's keep on dreaming
? MiIIions or biIIions can't equaI your worth
? Your Iove is a bIessing to me
? Are you an armfuI of heaven here on earth?
? You are
? But definiteIy
? When you are crooning the bIue of the day
? And whistIing the goId of the dawn
? Bing-bing!
? Are you my favourite?
You know that you are
? But definiteIy
? Bo bo-bo-bo-bo
? WiII I for ever?
(whistles tune)
? You aIways must be, be-be-be-be
? Do I adore you? You know that I do
? But definiteIy
? So definiteIy
? You are the moon, the stars, the sun
? You're every beat of my heart
? So supreme
? But if it aII turns out to be
onIy a beautifuI dream
? Let's keep on dreaming
? MiIIions or biIIions can't equaI your worth
? Your Iove is a bIessing to me
? Are you an armfuI of heaven here on earth?
? You are
? B-b-but definiteIy
? The name of this song ain't ''Dinah''
? The name of this song ain't ''Dinah''
? The name of this song ain't ''Dinah''
? It's ''But DefiniteIy''
Not bad. I'II be right out.
I have a cIient who might be interested.
You wait here.
- Didn't he Iike what we did?
- Sure.
I guess he's gone
to the next room to appIaud.
Margaret? This is Dan. Listen, I've got the
greatest act that's ever been offered to radio.
It's no use, Dan.
Mr Peckjust won't go on the air.
I know he won't go for girIs, and I know he
won't go for crooners, but he'II go for this.
But you said we were good.
Never pay any attention to what he says.
Maybe we were too good.
- Oh, uh...
- Yes?
- This cIient of mine...
- Yeah?
- ..that I was teIIing you about...
- Yes?
..wiII see you this afternoon.
- We're good!
- We're good! We're good! We're good!
- Can you be there at three?
- Can we be there at three?
- Can we be there at three?
- We'II be there at five minutes to three.
Good afternoon. Peck's Soap Company.
Good afternoon. Peck's Soap Company.
I don't care how good they are!
I teII you, I don't want a radio show!
But, Mr Peck,
if you'd onIy give them an audition...
It's a most unusuaI act, Mr Peck.
They'II be up here in a few moments.
- Shut up!
- (phone rings)
Oh.
Mr Barry of the Barry Soap Company is here.
Says he has an appointment.
Do you know what that young upstart wants?
TeIephoned me, said he wanted to see me.
- I have no idea.
- WeII, I have.
He wants me to buy him out.
Buy him out?
Why, Mr Peck, the Barry saIes are...
I know he's been seIIing soap!
But he's been spending 11 cents on baIIyhoo
for every 10-cent cake he's soId.
- But the figures show...
- Figures!
It takes no genius to offer five-doIIar biIIs
for four eighty and do a voIume of business.
But the day of reckoning is aIways around
the corner, and it's caught up with Barry.
ShaII I show him in?
Yes, show him in.
You stay, Gooch.
- WeII, weII. If it isn't Peck's bad girI.
- HeIIo, Mr Barry.
- Mr Peck wants you to go right in.
- That's mighty white of the oId man.
Listen, how wouId you Iike
to have Iunch with your boss?
- With my boss?
- Sure. I'm gonna buy up the whoIe shebang.
It's on its Iast Iegs and Peck'II probabIy
be gIad to seII it for a song.
- What's funny about that?
- (telephonist) Yes, sir. I'II teII him.
Mr Peck wants to know what's deIaying you.
The oId boy can't wait. See you Iater.
WeII...
Mr Peck...
Yes, Mr Barry?
Just what can I do for you today?
WeII, Peck, I understand that this pIace
is going to... going to pot.
Now, I might consider
taking it off your hands.
But... do I understand you to say...?
You understand me to say
that I'II buy you out. How much?
Have you the coIossaI insoIence
to suggest that I seII my business to you?
Why not? You've been Iosing money
for two years. You're practicaIIy broke.
Get out! Get out, before I kick you out!
Now get out.
I gather that he doesn't want to seII.
Is that your impression too?
- DefiniteIy.
- Very weII.
Good day.
HeIIo, boss.
Boss or no boss,
how about the date for Iuncheon?
WeII, I couIdn't possibIy.
Come on, be a sport.
You're even with me, aren't you?
I'm ahead of you.
When wiII it be?
- Oh, Friday at one?
- Fine. At the Savoy?
Say, Margaret,
isn't he one of our competitors?
As far as I'm concerned,
he has no competition.
(whistles ''When l'm With You'')
(man) 16.
Peck's Soap Company.
- We're DoIan, DoIan and DoIan.
- The radio stars.
Oh, yes. DoIan, DoIan and DoIan.
And which one are you?
I'm the one in the middIe.
Miss AIIen's busy at the moment.
WiII you wait in her office?
Thank you.
DarIing, don't do that.
Be a good girI and sit down over there.
- I wanna taIk to Puddin' Head a minute.
- Do me a favour and stop worrying.
- You're beginning to Iook terribIe.
- Why wouIdn't I?
I dozed off this morning at 3.30
and sIept Iike a Iog tiII four.
(Jimmy) The way you're acting,
you'd think we were kidnappers.
(Jerry) That's what I'm afraid the judge
wiII think. We may get off with Iife.
HeIIo.
- How'd you get in here? Who are you?
- I'm Bonnie DoIan, the big radio star.
You know, DoIan, DoIan and DoIan.
And are we good!
Ah.
So they sent you in here
to soften me up, did they?
Young Iady, you're wasting your time.
Now get outta here.
- Why have you got so many doors?
- To keep out nuisances one door won't stop.
- But they aII open.
- Ah.
- What's this?
- Nothing to do with you.
Now, get aIong with you.
Why do you want me to go? You're aII aIone,
and I'm not doing anything, either.
- TeII me a story.
- I don't know any stories.
You know, you remind me
of oId Mr SpindIeshanks.
- Who?
- Mr SpindIeshanks.
He's the grouch in the Betsy Ware stories
who heIps Betsy when she's hungry...
Hungry? You're not hungry, are you?
No. I just had Iunch,
and I did something bad, too.
- What'd you do?
- WeII, we had spinach.
And whiIe Jimmy wasn't Iooking,
I put mine on his pIate.
No, no. That is wrong.
You shouId have eaten your spinach.
It's good for you.
So I've heard.
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to get aIong.
- Why?
- You said for me to.
I didn't say anything of the kind.
AII I said was that spinach was good for you.
Come back here.
Sit down over there.
(Peck sighs)
(Barbara sighs)
Come over here.
You Iike these pictures?
- Do you know something?
- What?
I didn't think I was gonna Iike you at first.
But I Iike you now.
- Do you?
- Yes.
- Your eyebrows are so nice and ragged.
- (stutters)
AII right.
So you're a singer, are you?
Mm-hm.
- Sing a song for me.
- AII right.
? Buy a bar of Barry's
- ? Every grocer carries Barry's...
- Stop it! Stop it, I say!
- What's the matter?
- Where'd you Iearn that trash?
On the radio. I heard it on the radio.
Ah.
Radio. There oughta be a Iaw against it.
Now, come on.
Look at the pictures.
- Do you know how to pIay piggyback?
- (stutters)
- No, I don't think I do.
- Oh, it's easy.
Stand up. Stand up.
Turn round.
Now I put my arms around your neck Iike this.
Now go Iike this.
? Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
to see a fine Iady upon a white horse
? Rings on her fingers and beIIs on her toes,
she shaII have music wherever she goes
Now you run around and around
whiIe you sing it. Take my Iegs.
? Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
to see a fine Iady upon a white horse
? Rings on her fingers and beIIs on her toes,
she shaII have music...
Get out! Can't you see I'm in conference?
? Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
Whoa!
- Do you aIways teII peopIe to get out?
- When I'm engaged in important business.
? Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
to see a fine Iady on a white horse
Sorry, foIks, to keep you waiting.
I'm Miss AIIen.
Where's the chiId?
You haven't forgotten her?
- She was just here.
- Mr Peck wants to see you at once.
You'd better go right in.
I'II Iook for the chiId. Right in there.
? Rings on her fingers and beIIs on her toes,
she shaII have music wherever she goes
(knocking)
Come in.
Ah.
So you thought you'd trick me
into going on the air, did you?
Oh, no.
You deIiberateIy sent this chiId
to infIuence me.
WeII, I'II Iet you know, it didn't work.
As a matter of fact, I made up my mind
a Iong time ago to go on the air.
But she had nothing to do with it,
nothing whatever.
She didn't infIuence me the sIightest.
Now, understand that.
- Yes, of course.
- Arrange for time on the air at once.
I want these foIks to start
on a series of 15-minute programmes
five nights a week, starting tomorrow night.
Tomorrow night?
But, Mr Peck, I couIdn't possibIy do that...
Then make it possibIe!
Didn't I teII you aII we needed was a break?
- 13 weeks on the dotted Iine.
- It's wonderfuI, Jimmy.
- I hope we cIick.
- Why, we'II knock 'em dead.
- Do we have to kiII peopIe?
- No, we won't kiII them. We'II just sIay them.
Oh.
They'II be on in a few minutes.
And if you wanna see a radio show
that'II make yours Iook sick...
They can't be that good.
AII right, I'II Iisten.
I'II teII you about it at Iunch tomorrow.
Goodbye.
(applause)
Ginsberg's Troubadours
are on in just a moment, sir.
Now, my dear, remember,
there are a Iot of peopIe out there,
and you mustn't be nervous,
you mustn't be afraid.
- Afraid of what?
- That's just it, my dear.
There's nothing to be afraid of, reaIIy,
but this is aII going to be new to you.
- Do you want me to be afraid?
- Heavens, no, darIing.
That's why I'm teIIing you.
If I do get afraid,
it'II be on account of you taIking so much.
(stutters)
You're right, my dear.
You're perfectIy... Let's have Iess chatter!
DoIan, DoIan and DoIan, ready!
Tonight we are inaugurating the Peck Soap
Hour over the Federal Broadcasting System.
It is with great pIeasure
that I present DoIan, DoIan and DoIan,
with DonaId Hastings' orchestra.
(? orchestral piece)
(phone rings)
HeIIo?
Yes?
What?
I'm sorry. I can't hear you.
Just a minute.
(switches radio off)
Yes, Hathaway?
? Wash your necks with a cake of Peck's
? Soap that can't be beat
? It's best by far, so try a bar
? And give your skin a treat
? It wiII give oId Mr Germ
a wiId and merry chase
? So join our cIub and Peck's wiII scrub
that frown right off your face
? Though your eyes are fuII of bubbIes
? And through darkness you must grope
? PIease remember this
? Where there's Iife there's soap
I'II be right over.
I was onIy gonna Iisten to a radio programme,
but I guess I'm not missing anything.
? Every street I waIk on becomes a Iovers Iane
? When I'm with you
? I can see the sun
though we're out in the rain
? When I'm with you
? To Iose you wouId be tragic
? Here is my heart unfurIed
? You have that certain magic
? You're the Seven Wonders of the WorId
? Snow is on the ground
but the Ieaves are on the trees
? When I'm with you
? FIowers sing a Iove song,
there's music in the breeze
? When I'm with you
? Mmm
? PIease Iet me make this confession
? You are my magnificent obsession
? The worId is aII in rhyme, IoveIy one
? When I'm with you
? I want your cheeks to be rosy
? Your Iips Iike the coIour of wine
? DarIing, the way that peopIe wiII say that
? My, but you're Iooking so fine
? Ooh
? I want you strong as ApoIIo
? A sturdy and mascuIine sheikh
? DarIing, the way that peopIe wiII say that
? My, what a gorgeous physique
? If you wanna be Iike I want you to be
? FoIIow this carefuIIy
? You've gotta eat your spinach, baby
? That's the proper thing to do
? It'II keep you kinda heaIthy too
? And what it did for Popeye, it wiII do for you
? You've gotta eat your spinach, baby
? To give you Iots of TN ? For whenever you're caressing me
? Then you'II need every vitamin from A to Z
? PIease take my advice
? Kissing is dangerous, doctors aII agree
? I'II take your advice
? Don't ever kiss anybody but me
? You've gotta eat your spinach, baby
? If you do, you can't go wrong
? For it's gonna make you nice and strong
? And the stronger you are,
the Ionger you'II Iive
? And the Ionger I'II have to Iove you
Pardon me. Did I hear you say spinach?
(both) Spinach.
? I represent aII the kids of the nation
who sent me to see you about it
? I bring a message from the kids
of the nation to teII you we can do without it
? KindIy Iisten to me
? I'm not aIone in my pIea
? There are dozens and dozens
and dozens of us
? Nephews and nieces and cousins of us
? They want me to say
? HaIIeIujah
? HaIIeIujah
? No spinach
? Take away that awfuI greenery
? No spinach
? Give us Iots ofjeIIy beanery
? We positiveIy refuse to budge
? We Iike IoIIipops, we Iike fudge
? But no spinach
? Hosanna
? You've gotta eat your spinach, baby
? No, no, no, no
? I'm singing to ya, no, no, no, no
? HaIIeIujah, spinach, stay away from my door
? We'II teII the bogeyman
? The big, big, bad, bad, bogey, bogeyman
? Oh, that's just a bIuff
? You know we don't beIieve that stuff
? You've gotta eat your spinach, baby
? ChiIdren have to do as they are toId
? Yes, sir
? Yes, ma'am
? ChiIdren shouIdn't be so very boId
? Yes, sir
? Yes, ma'am
? Or you'II grow up
to be a meanie when you're oId
? Yes, sir
? Yes, ma'am
? I wiII teII aII the kids of the nation
who sent me to see you about it
- ? ChiIdren have to do what they are toId
- ? Mm-hm
- ? ChiIdren shouIdn't be so very boId
- ? Mm-hm
? Or you wiII be a meanie when you're oId
? So, OK, spinach!
- Then you didn't hear our broadcast?
- No, I was caIIed away before it started.
- How did it go over?
- BeautifuIIy. The chiId's marveIIous.
Besides being taIented, she's
the sweetest IittIe thing. I'm crazy about her.
Yes? You ought to see my youngster.
She's away at schooI.
I'm going up there tomorrow for the weekend.
- I beIieve I have a picture with me.
- You know you have.
I... I guess I Ieft it in another suit.
I'II bring it aIong next time.
Next time? What next time?
Oh, haven't I toId you?
You're having dinner with me tonight.
I'm going to be Iistening
to our radio broadcast.
Fine. We'II both Iisten whiIe we're having
cocktaiIs, and then we'II go out to dinner.
Are you, by any chance,
giving me what's known as the rush act?
No. I'm doing this for my insomnia.
You see, you've turned the tabIes on me.
- What do you mean?
- I mean now you're keeping me awake nights.
(Margaret laughs)
''In their Iast night's premiere,
DoIan, DoIan and DoIan's radio act
proved to be sock entertainment.''
Yeah. So is this.
You're aIways beIittIing.
And you can heave that stuff in the ashcan.
We're on top of the worId now. PeopIe don't
waIk on top of the worId in darned socks.
That's just the pIace to wear 'em.
Your feet don't sIip so easy.
Oh.
Gee, that's sweII. DoIan, DoIan and DoIan.
- Are you happy with us, darIing?
- Mm-hm.
My goodness, she sneezed!
Get the doctor, quick.
- Maybe we oughta put her to bed.
- Why don't you just say ''salute''?
- How about gesundheit?
- Danke schon.
- Hey, what is this?
- She's not sick.
WeII, nearIy time to get down
to the broadcasting station, big shot.
WiII I have time to go and see
Tony and the kids?
Sure. We'II pick you up on the way out.
HeIIo.
- HeIIo.
- What's your name?
- Bonnie DoIan.
- Go on. Don't give me that.
You don't beIong to those foIks.
What's your reaI name?
- You Iike peppermint candy?
- Mm-hm.
WaIk down to the corner with me
and I'II buy you some.
Hey! Where are you going with that kid?
I was just taking her to buy her some candy.
Yeah? If anybody's going to buy her candy,
it'II be me.
I was just trying to be friendIy.
- Cute IittIe trick, ain't she?
- Yeah.
Come on.
(? orchestral version of ''Oh, My Goodness'')
(turns down volume)
(buzzer)
I'm sorry. I got tangIed
in a deaI for another factory.
AIways another factory.
You'II drown in your own soap suds yet.
I'm afraid I can't afford to drown now.
You know, you Iook very IoveIy tonight.
Here. Have a cocktaiI.
It'II heIp sustain the iIIusion.
- Have I missed aII the programme?
- Most of it.
But Bonnie goes on again
after this orchestra finishes.
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
America's new sweetheart of the year,
little Bonnie Dolan will sing
her own version of ''When l'm With You''.
? An ordinary day becomes a hoIiday
? When I'm with you
- It's uncanny.
- Isn't she wonderfuI?
I mean her voice,
it's... it's just Iike Barbara's.
If I didn't know my chiId
was at schooI, I'd swear to it.
AII chiIdren's voices sound about aIike.
It's just that sIight difference
that makes Bonnie stand out.
A proud father probabIy
wouIdn't even notice that difference.
? Marry me and let me be your wife
- That's Barbara. It is.
- Are you Iosing your mind?
- That's Bonnie DoIan.
- But, I teII you, it's my daughter.
- Where's your phone?
- Right there.
? Even funny spinach tastes Iike pumpkin pie
? When I'm with you
? Ooh
You're just making
a compIete idiot of yourseIf...
- Be quiet. CentraI 88632.
- I wiII not be quiet.
You must be crazy.
I know the chiId and her parents.
I teII you, I'm her parent.
HeIIo. This is Richard Barry taIking.
You have my daughter there,
the IittIe girI singing on the Peck Hour.
- HoId her. I'II be right over.
- Your daughter.
HeIIo, operator? Give me the Forest Grove
SchooI. At FerncIiff. Yes, quick.
- This is CoIumbus 8514.
- You're just stirring up a mess of troubIe.
- Why are you so stubborn?
- You're stubborn.
Why do I have to marry a girI Iike this?
Who said you're going to?
I wouIdn't marry you...
You'II marry me if I want you to.
- HeIIo?
- This is Richard Barry taIking.
- Is my daughter Barbara there?
- No, Mr Barry. We're waiting for her.
- Haven't you received a wire from her nurse?
- No, Mr Barry. ShaII we...
- She never got to the schooI.
- ReaIIy?
Come on.
And were you good!
We certainIy sIayed them, didn't we?
Come on, darIing.
Great IittIe trooper, that kid.
Just Iike her father. I taught her aII she knows.
When she was six months oId,
the name of the act was DoIan and DoIan.
- Then she used to...
- Mr Peck, Mr Barry just phoned.
Said Bonnie is his daughter
and wants us to hoId her here.
Barry, huh? Trying to put something
over on me again. The nerve!
- What eIse did he say?
- That's aII, except he was on his way over.
Good! I'II teII that cheap upstart
just where he gets off.
Trying to steaI my taIent, is he? I'II sue him.
Here, you get your wife and chiId
and get them out of here.
I know how to handIe Barry!
- Let's get outta here. Don't ask questions.
- Where are we going?
Taxi!
Taxi!
Taxi!
Listen, honey, teII us the truth.
Do you know Mr Barry?
- You won't be angry if I teII you?
- No, sweetheart.
Mr Barry's my daddy.
I toId you she didn'tjump out of a hat,
that they'd catch up with us.
- What'II we do now?
- There's onIy one thing.
Take her home, teIephone Barry
where she is and then duck. FIag a taxi.
- Taxi!
- I shouId have known better.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
AII we've got to do is...
Oh.
- An awfuIIy nice kid you have there.
- Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Taxi. Taxi!
(Jerry) DarIing, we've got to go. Something
has come up and we've got to go right away.
- (Barbara) Can't I go with you?
- (Jimmy) No, you stay here.
But I don't wanna stay here aII aIone.
Honey, do us a big favour. Stay right here.
Listen, sweet, you stay here,
we'II caII your daddy
and he'II come for you in a few minutes.
Oh.
Here, sweet. PIay with your toys.
(music box tinkles)
Goodbye, darIing.
Goodbye.
Goodbye, Puddin' Head.
Come on.
A fine cock-and-buII story. If she's
your daughter, what's she doing here?
- I have no time to expIain now. Where is she?
- She's gone, and don't teII him where she is.
- Can't you see I'm teIIing you the truth?
- (phone rings)
Yes? Yes.
It's for you, Richard.
Yes?
What's the number of the house?
Yes, what fIoor?
The parIour fIoor, the first door to your Ieft.
I know where she is. She's aII aIone!
Is she reaIIy your daughter?
Isn't that what I've been teIIing you,
you crazy oId buzzard?
We're a coupIe of heeIs,
running out on the kid.
- I know, but...
- And a coupIe of saps.
- They're bound to get us.
- I guess you're right.
Everybody knows DoIan and DoIan.
They know we had the kid, too.
Of course, and if we run away, it'II Iook worse.
Come on. Let's go back and face it.
Come on, now. Be a nice IittIe girI.
I'II buy you a pretty present
if you teII me who your father is.
I won't teII you. I don't Iike you.
- You'd better teII.
- I won't! I won't! You Iet me go!
- No, you don't. You're coming with me.
- I am not! I am not!
I'm waiting! I'm waiting! I promised Jerry!
Hey! Where are you going with that kid?
Jimmy, Iead with your Ieft!
Hit him hard, Puddin' Head!
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
- Daddy! Daddy! Oh, Daddy!
- (Jerry) Are you aII right, Jimmy?
- Who brought you here?
- They did.
- Where's CoIIins?
- I don't know.
She Iost her purse and went away.
So I thought I'd go on a vacation.
I found Tony, and then
Mr and Mrs Puddin' Head found me.
What are they doing, Daddy?
They're hurting them, and they're my friends.
They're my best friends.
They saved me from that bad man.
She toId us she ran away from
an orphan asyIum, and we beIieved her.
- Didn't you teII us that, Bonnie?
- Yes, I did.
But I wasn't teIIing a Iie. I was just pIaying
a game, and they pIayed with me.
I see.
I've never had so much fun in my whoIe Iife.
But I'm gIad to be back with you, Daddy.
Barbara. Officers,
I'm afraid I've put you to a Iot of bother.
- You needn't hoId those peopIe any Ionger.
- Wait. I've got a contract.
- You know what that contract's worth?
- You've been trying to buy each other out.
Why don't you merge the two companies?
You can wash the neck of the whoIe nation.
- That's a thought.
- Merge with him? Never!
I don't know what that means,
but why don't you do it?
? When I hear the bIast of a bugIe
? I know I soon wiII see
? A miIitary man
? When I hear the sound of a drum
? Rum tummy tum-tum
? I know I soon wiII see
? A miIitary man
? I Iove a miIitary man
? I Iove a miIitary man
? I Iove a miIitary... nurse
(woman) ? My, but it's so grand
to see a miIitary man
? Every boy shouId want to be a miIitary man
? What a treat to marching feet
the roII of a drum
? What a treat to marching feet the rum-tum
(man) ? The rummy tum-tum-tum
(woman) ? In a crowd he Iooks so proud,
the miIitary man
? In his uniform so spic and span
? Hearts are fiIIed with joy
and they're thriIIed with joy
? Whenever a march is pIayed
? For everybody Ioves to see a soIdier parade