Psycho Cop Returns (1993) Movie Script
What are you worrying about?
It's gonna be great.
Well, what if
stonecipher finds out?
Oh right, lik old
man stoneciphefls
gonna be working late.
That's why he own the
company, remember.
So he doesn't have
to stay after hours.
Besides he'd never pay
himself the overtime.
What if somebody
tell him larr?
Look, the only person
in the building that late
is Gus the night watchman, okay.
I've already worked
everything out with him.
I'm telling you, it's gonna
be the best bachelor party
that you've seen.
Don't we have to send
Gary off in style?
Well yeah but, you know, i
just don't want to lose my job.
Look, if something goes wrong
i will take all the blame.
"Don't blame Brian,
Mr. stonecipher.
"I told him if he didn't
take part in the party
"I'd show you these polaroids
of him and this goat.
"Oh yes sir it's a
particularly ugly goat
"but he was very drunk."
I never did it with a goat.
That's because you
could never find one.
Okay, let's make sure we
thought of everything.
Okay?
I've got the strippers ready.
Mike has the booze.
You have the grass.
Shut up!
Jesus.
Well, howdy officer.
Can we help you sir?
You boys wouldn't be
planning anything illegal,
would you now?
No sir, we would never
do anything illegal.
You just see that you don't.
Yes sir, officer.
You boys stay out
of trouble, you hear?
- Yes sir, officer.
- Yes sir, officer.
Wow, if that's not an
example of inbreeding
I don't know what is.
Damn that cop was weird.
Brian, you really
need to switch
to a decaffeinated buddy,
he's just messing with us.
If he wanted to bust
us he could have.
What do you mean?
I mean, you have
marijuana in your briefcase.
~ shh!
Now, he would not
have known that
had you not told the
entire world, Larry.
Of course he would have.
Cops can smell that
stuff from a mile away.
Really?
They take a class in it.
Smelling 101 it's taught
by a German Shepard.
L'm just kidding, chill out,
take a chill pill or something.
Get yourself out of
your hair all right.
I just wanna know why the
hell he was acting that way.
Because he's an
anal retentive cop
who takes his job
way too seriously.
He's gone now just relax, okay.
Larry-
what is it now?
What is this, the
walking police?
I don't think we're speeding.
See that guy over there,
he's going faster than we are
and so is that guy.
If anybody gets pulled
over it'll be him.
Uh-oh illegal u-turn,
oh officer, officer.
Keep it down, i
think it's the same cop
from the donut shop.
Who, officer inbred?
He's following us.
I don't think so.
He is.
Okay wait a second, let's see.
This is silly, I'll ask him.
No no no.
Hey, officer!
Jesus.
Oh officer
inbred are you following us
because you smell my
friend's illegal doggy bag?
You know, I don't
think that's very funny.
I dumped the pot.
You mailed the dope.
To who?
I don't know, grandma Moses.
Aw, goddamn, come on let's
go we gotta get a move on.
I can live without the weed,
it's never done
much for me anyway.
Come on.
Good morning Dolores.
Good morning.
Good morning Dolores.
Good morning.
Hey hey hey, you
all ready for tonight big guy?
Oh yeah, I'm all set.
I already told Ingrid i
was working late tonight.
(He)', you got the girls?
Oh yes.
We are sending you
off in style partner.
This is great, this is great.
Ingrid darling, I love you.
And in two weeks I'm
gonna be all yours
but for right now there's a
few thing you shouldn't see.
Michael, my man, i
believe you're in charge
of refreshments for tonight's
little get together.
Funny, I don't recall
being given that assignment.
Let me check my files.
Whoa, you think you
got enough there Mike?
You can never
really have enough.
(Ahuds)
Oh yeah.
Larry, it's stonecipher.
Ah, thanks Brian, this is
just the file I was looking for.
Morning Mr. stonecipher.
Coffee.
No thanks.
What a nice man.
Yo Tony, are you staying for
Gary's bachelor shindig tonight?
I don't think so.
I mean I'd like to.
But I sort of had
a prior commitment.
Oh Tony say it isn't so
man, it's gonna be a blast.
We've got strippers,
we've got refreshments
filed under b for booze.
I'd like to but i
gotta do something.
Next time.
Okay, next time
Gary gets married.
Stop it.
You know, we can
still work late tonight.
I don't enjoy
having an audience.
The party's gonna be upstairs.
I mean, we can't do it on
stoneciphers desk like you wanted.
But we can do it down here.
Uh yeah?
Yeah.
You know, we can make
some interesting copies.
You are so kinky.
It's a date.
Yeah, do you have
cherry chapstick?
Can I call you back please?
Larry.
Larry, don't look now
but you know that gorgeous
girl from accounting?
She's right over there.
You know with the niceness.
You're Sharon
Wells from accounting.
And you're Norris the veen
from the land of obnactigon.
Wait a second,
aren't you from Ohio?
I see that my
reputation precedes me.
My friends call me Larry.
Well it's nice to
meet you Lawrence.
May I be so bold as to say
that you look
absolutely lovely today.
Well gee, thanks larr.
That's awfully sweet of you.
Why, you don't look
half bad yourself.
Mike, you idiot, i
was talkin' to Brian.
What are you doing for lunch?
I thought I'd eat.
Ah, what a
coincidence, me too.
Why don't we do it together?
Well actually Lawrence,
i already have plans today
but why don't you
take Brian here
he does look lovely today,
if I may be so bold.
Excuse me, thank you.
You know you can
act all cool and everything
but you know something?
You're gonna be thinking
about me, I can tell.
Is that so?
Granted, they may
not be nice thoughts
but it's a start.
I'm not gonna let
you forget about me.
I'll take shock
treatments Lawrence.
All right big Tony,
way to go buddy.
Hey, do you mind?
I just need to make one copy.
All right.
Thanks guys.
As you were you
two, have fun huh.
Just, what are
you doing Larry?
Here we are, Wells comma
Sharon accounting third floor
extension 3333.
Just sending our miss
Wells a gentle reminder.
You know, you might
wanna watch yourself Larry.
She's quite the jock
from what I hear.
Uh yeah?
Yes.
She's the leading scorer
on the softball team.
She might break
you in half larr.
Ah, but what a way to go.
Maybe I should
check that number.
How are you today
Mr. stonecipher?
Stop kissing my ass.
Oh god, another long
wonderful romantic evening.
- Goodnight Mr. stonecipher.
- Goodnight Mr. stonecipher.
Goodnight Mr. stonecipher.
It's quitting time and
i don't pay any overtime.
Well that's okay
Mr. stonecipher.
We just have a little
work to finish up.
Suit yourselves.
Goddamn assholes.
Brown-nosers.
Come on.
Yeah!
- All right Mikey party time.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Wait a minute,
let's make sure.
Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis
has left the building.
Party time, party time!
Larry!
" What is it?
Come take a look at this.
What, is he coming back?
No, i think it's that cop.
Officer inbred, no way.
Who and what
is an officer inbred?
Just this cop
who hassled us this morning
at the donut shop before work.
And he's down there?
I don't know, where is he?
He's right there.
What that car down there?
What makes you think that
that's officer inbred?
Look, he followed us earlier.
He might have
followed us to work.
Followed you, why?
He didn't follow us.
Brian just has an
overactive imagination.
Some cop car parks behind
us today we we're walking,
right, so Brian decides
that it's the same cop
and he's got some personal
vendetta against us.
So Brian gets so excited that
he takes the grass we had
and he mails it to somebody.
We just don't know who.
That cop was acting really
strange in the donut shop.
Brian, he's a cop.
He shoots at people
for a living.
Chances are he's a little bit
strange just forget about him.
What's he gonna do Brian,
roll down his window,
shake his fist and
shout up at us.
"Hey you kids up there.
"You're having a party
after hours aren't you?
"Okay, come one down we're
gonna take you to jail now."
Now, if you'll excuse me
I'm going to procure us
some feminine entertainment.
Mikey.
Women, women, women, women,
women, women, women!
Yay, women yeah, yeah!
This is great.
Come on, loosen up will ya?
Come on you guys.
Oh my god.
Holy, check that out Gus,
what do you think huh?
Shame on it.
We are gonna have some
fun tonight, oh yes.
All right, all right,
time to rock and roll.
Hey, thanks Gus.
No problem.
Just don't burn down the
building on my shift.
All right, yeah.
Are you lovely ladies
ready to party or what?
Oh always ready to party.
We'll see.
Which floor?
To the top of the shaft
oops silly me, now
it's gonna take forever
to get all the way up.
Oh, i wouldn't bet on that.
Are you sure they're only
going to be on the top floor?
Of course baby.
Maybe we should go down
a couple of floors.
Okay
just to be safe.
All right.
Howdy officer.
Can I help you?
Got a call about some
disturbances at this address.
Is everything okay?
Oh sure, everything's fine.
It's been quiet as a graveyard.
Ah, well.
Probably just a crank call.
Sorry to have bothered you.
Ah, no trouble.
Ls that the game?
Oh yeah, it's the
bottom of the ninth.
Would you mind?
I can't seem to
get it on my radio.
No no no, come on in.
It's time to party
old farts, let's go.
Ride 'em cowboy,
ride 'em baby.
Do it baby, do it.
Oh you are beautiful.
Oh this is great.
You guys are the
best, I love you.
I love you guys, you
guys are the best.
Mikey, love you man.
Yeah baby, all for
you Gary, all for you.
You know Gus,
I saw you let
those girls in here.
Oh sure, well a couple
of fellas up on seven
are having a bachelor party.
I don't think that would
be in company policy.
Ah, how should I know?
I don't write company policy.
I don't even read it.
Hey, turn that back on.
I for one am sure
that taking bribes
is not in company policy.
What are you talking about?
I saw you take
money from that kid.
Oh.
He owed me a few
dollars, so what?
Now come on, turn that
back on, I'm serious.
Well I'm serious too.
I could run you in
for contributing
to the delinquency of a minor.
What minors?
They're all over 21 up there.
Now Jesus, relax will ya.
They just having some fun.
Fun, fun?
Oh yeah, it's all fun
and games isn't it?
Until someone loses an eye.
I'll be right back.
Why don't you keep an
eye out while I'm gone?
Seventh floor, going up.
Linens, lingerie,
eviscerated women.
Who's that?
Hey man, did somebody
call the elevator?
Larry, none of us were
anywhere near that call button.
So someone called
the elevator, so what?
Can't you see I'm
busy over here?
What if Ingrid found
out about the party?
Hey, if Ingrid
knew about the party
she'd come up herself.
You guys know who it is,
it's Gus the night watchman.
Sure scared the
poop out of me.
Yeah me too.
Very funny Gus!
Now, where were we?
We were right here.
Hey, you know this gag's
getting a little old.
Enough with the
elevators already.
You guys are starting to sound
like a bunch of old women!
I'll go down and talk to the guy
and see what's going on, okay?
Hey, thanks Mikey.
No problem.
Only, Larry, when I get back
i don't wanna hear no more
about elevators and i
don't wanna hear this guy
crying about his future
ex wife showing up.
We are here to party!
You're not going
anywhere big boy.
Baby, let me go
take care of this
and when I get back we will
have no more distractions.
Hurry back.
Oh god.
Hey Larry, what's
this guy's name again?
His name's Gus.
Gus, okay no problem,
I'll be right back.
And don't do anything
i wouldn't do.
Then again with these
girls I would do anything.
Carry on men.
What if Ingrid finds
out about the party?
Idiots.
Oh.
What the hell is this?
Oh come on.
Oh that's really funny.
Come on.
I got beautiful babes upstairs.
Fuck.
I really gotta lose some weight.
I think I'll take the stairs.
Yo Gus.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Oh, I'm sorry i
didn't hear you come in.
Is everything okay up there?
Yeah everything's fine.
Well one of the guy's
a little paranoid
about his wife finding
out about the party
and they were
wondering if it was you
that sending the
elevator up and down.
Well not me and
I think I'm the
only one down here.
Wait a minute.
Was it the one on the left?
Yeah it was.
Well there you go.
See, that one's been
acting screwy all day long.
Those assholes in
maintenance forgot to put an
out of order sign
on every floor.
I hope you didn't try to
come down in that one.
Yeah well I did and i
got stuck between floors,
I had to crawl my way out.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Well just remember that,
try the one on the right
when you go back up
it's working fine.
And don't worry, I'm
gonna get all over
those assholes tomorrow.
I got stuck in there
myself last night.
Oh good, now i
don't feel so bad.
Okay well, thanks a lot
buddy, see you later.
Ah.
How's the party?
Oh the party's great.
Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't ask you.
Can I get you anything?
Whatever you want, we
got blondes, brunettes.
Got any booze?
We got booze.
What's your poison friend?
Scotch.
Scotch, you got it.
Guess you need a
little something
to get you through the night.
It must be pretty boring
the whole night by yourself huh?
Oh no.
I've always been
good at killing time.
Be right back.
Hey, hey Mikey's back.
Where'd you go?
What'd he say?
Go, what'd he say?
It wasn't him.
The left elevator's
all screwed up.
It stopped between floors,
I had to crawl to
the fifth floor.
Brian take a note of that.
Elevator on left bad,
elevator on right good.
I'll type up a memo.
I promised I'd bring him
down a bottle of scotch.
Don't worry baby I'll be back.
Shit.
Sorry, this is a
no stopping zone.
Man, am I glad to see you.
Here.
Thanks.
Going down
straight to hell.
By the way kid,
thanks for the booze but i
never drink when I'm on duty.
Man, Mike should
be here to see this.
Yeah, where is Mike though?
He hasn't been here
for a long time.
He's probably watching
the game with Gus.
Man, does he have his
priorities screwed up.
Mmhm.
Wait a second, Larry.
He might be stuck in
the elevator again.
Then we got a
better boy girl ratio.
I still think we should check.
Brian relax he's just fine.
Larry-
Larry come take a look at this.
What is it now?
That is weird.
Who the hell would be
sending us their chest?
Larry, I think it's that cop.
I doubt if officer inbred
has a fax machine in his car.
His car.
His car's still there.
Oh.
Brian don't hyperventilate okay?
I mean, think about it huh.
Who wears a badge and
coincidentally knows
that we're up here?
Gus the night watchman.
Bingo, give that man a cigar.
They probably were finishing
that bottle of scotch
and they decided to
mess with your mind.
See, what did I tell ya?
Look,
you two guys are
too damn serious.
Now, here's what's gonna happen.
Miss Lisa, that's her, and I
are gonna go out and spend
some quality time together.
Besides, it's my party and
i can do whatever I want.
Isn't that right?
That's right.
Hey, knock
yourself out big guy.
Brian and I'll take care
of these two lovely ladies.
Well you do that
cause in the mean time
miss Lisa and I, that's
her, we're gonna go out
and spend some
quality time together.
Hey you've already
said that part.
Well, it's my party and
i can do whatever I want.
Take him away,
get him out of here.
You know, I'm beginning
to suspect foreplay.
Oh my god.
Ah.
It's not what it looks like.
Oh.
It doesn't look like
anything really.
She tripped, she fell and
i was trying to help her up.
No, it was my fault
i should have knocked.
I was just looking
for a stapler.
(Anyway, 08")' On-
have a good time.
You know what I mean.
She tripped?
Oh great, the stapler.
Wait, wait.
What?
I got an idea.
What?
Let's go up to the roof.
The roof?
Let's go up to the main roof.
I'm so damn funny.
You're a genius.
Sorry, you startled me.
Well hello there officer.
Very nice night
we're having tonight.
Sure looks pretty out.
You little punk.
You're drunk and disorderly
and we can't have that.
, hey
hey, I may very well
be drunk occifer
but I am not...
and what would Ingrid say
if she could see you now.
Ingfld?
You're under arrest.
You have the right
to remain dead.
Anything you say can
and will be considered
extremely strange
because you're dead.
You have the right
to an attorney.
Not a lot of good
it'll do ya because
you're dead.
Do you understand these rights?
Are you even listening to me?
You're not being
very cooperative.
I hate to kick a
man when he's dead
they just don't put
up much of a fight.
Please, put me down.
Well, it is your
first offense.
So maybe I should
just let you go
with a warning.
Oh my god!
You act like trash you
get treated like trash.
Oh my god, oh my god!
What the hell is it now?
I'm pretty sure that I saw
a body fall passed the window.
A body?
That's what it
looked like larr.
I don't see any
body down there.
Perhaps it bounced back up.
Listen, I'm pretty sure
that that's what it was.
There goes your overactive
imagination again.
You probably saw a pigeon.
A damn big pigeon.
It was a mutant ninja pigeon.
What about Mike, where's Mike?
Who gives a damn?
Are you actually upset
that we have these
two beautiful
creatures to ourselves?
Well Mike could be stuck in
the elevator again you know.
Perhaps your priorities
are out of whack.
Wait, that could
be Mike right now.
From Gary.
What the hell
does this mean larr?
Maybe he's trying to
tell us not to drive drunk.
Shit for brains.
Well, now we
know where Mike is.
He's down in the copy
room with Gary and Lisa.
Do you feel better now?
Yeah, I guess I do get a
little paranoid sometimes larr.
Yeah, and the pope
is a little catholic.
Hey tell you what, since
we know where they are
why don't you run down there
and we'll really get
this party started?
Okay-
don't be such a nene Brian.
It's okay Brian, okay.
It's okay.
Get a hold of yourself Brian
now you're getting freaked
out by bad rococo art.
Ls everyone decent in there?
Well I guess that's a bit
much to ask from you guys.
Is everyone dressed
in there at least?
Mike.
(Gar)'-
anyone.
Oh, terrific.
Oh, where are you guys now?
Oh, I got a really bad
feeling about this.
No.
Hey, welcome back Brian.
Hey, what's wrong?
Hey, are you okay?
What's wrong?
You look like
you've seen a ghost.
I feel like I've
just seen a ghost.
Well what's going on,
where's Mike and Gary at?
I don't know but there's
something really wrong.
Really, what is it?
You better come
with me I'll show you.
I don't see anything Brian.
I mean, the place
could definitely
use a little bit of tidying up.
Oh come on, look around.
You notice anything strange?
Hey Mike has freckles, you
know I never noticed that.
I'm serious Larry.
Brian I'm sorry.
I don't know what I'm
supposed to be looking for.
How long does it take to
make this many pictures?
I don't know maybe
five or ten minutes.
And look at these pictures,
now does Mike look any
different in any of these?
I don't know.
Is he wearing a funny
hat or something?
He hasn't moved.
Yeah he hasn't moved, he
hasn't moved one muscle.
What are you trying to say?
Yeah what are
you saying Brian?
Look at the pictures,
he looks dead.
Oh my god.
Wait a second, you're
getting too excited about this.
Look, I'll show you
how he did it, okay?
Okay, yeah.
What did you do
with my undies?
Tore them off in a fit
of unbridled passion.
No I mean where
did you put them?
I don't know, were
you wearing any?
Oh no, I remember, you took
them off in the copy room.
Oh yes, I remember now.
Well, will you go
and get them for me?
Why me?
Well because
you're the guy and
because you're already
wearing your undies.
All right, all right.
A man's work is never done.
Tony give me my underwear.
Tony give me multiple orgasms.
Work work work.
Well, I certainly didn't
hear you complaining.
I didn't say i
didn't love my work.
You know, adultery is still
illegal in a lot of states.
I'll bet that smarts doesn't it?
Now, now.
Wouldn't wanna have
to separate you two.
Now that's what I like to see.
You're stuck together
'til the very end.
See.
The grain is different.
What?
The grain is different.
When you make a copy of a
copy the grain is different
there's lower resolution.
And look at this,
look at this smear.
What smear?
Right there.
Look, there's
something on the glass.
Oh my god.
And I suppose
I'm imagining that?
It doesn't mean
anything Brian.
It could be strawberry jam.
And it could be blood.
Oh come on, yeah maybe
if somebody got a paper cut
or something.
Come on, reality
check time here.
There are no bodies.
If Gary and Mike are
dead then where are they?
Oh give me a break.
This is not Friday the
13th part infinity here.
If there are any bodies in there
they're not gonna
fall out on me.
Then open it!
Okay, I will.
No no wait wait, I'm scared.
Oh come on, this
is ridiculous.
Watch, I'll show you.
Are we satisfied yet?
There is no psychotic murderer
running lose in the building.
Get him off of
me, get him off of me!
Oh my god I was right!
I'm never right
but now I am right!
Get him off of me!
(Grown
~ shh!
I think I heard something.
Oh god.
Wait!
Here, get in here!
What the hell are
you doing in my...
what the hell
are you doing here?
~ shh!
I'm working late.
Who are they?
And why aren't they dressed?
They're dressed, they're
just dressed scantily.
Oh my god, you scared
the shit out of us!
Well I'm glad i
could return the favor.
What's going on here anyway?
I mean, you look terrible.
I was going um,
how do I say this?
Mike and Gary are dead!
What?
~ shh!
The killer is in the building.
That's what we're doing in here.
We're hiding!
Christ man, Mike
and Gary are dead!
Oh no, oh no no no, wait wait.
And the fucking night
watchman Gus is dead.
" Gus?
You remember the
fax with the badge.
Oh shit!
What about Lisa?
She was with Gary.
We're just gonna have
to hope that she's okay.
Wait a minute, you guys
are serious aren't you?
Yes.
We found Mike and Gary
in the copy room dead.
I'm calling the cops.
It's dead.
Oh big surprise.
That's a big surprise.
Okay, let's not panic.
Let's just stay
quiet, stick together
and get out of the building.
Okay, let's go now!
Oh shit, I almost forgot.
What?
Chloe Wilson and Tony
Michaels are here too.
Oh shit.
No no no no,
no Tony had something
important to do tonight.
Yeah, Chloe.
Tony and Chloe are?
You didn't know that?
No, Tony's married.
So is Chloe that's why
they're doing it at the office.
I walked in on them
a while ago upstairs.
We have to warn them.
Okay but if we do
that we do it together.
No no no I don't wanna
go upstairs please.
Wait, do you wanna
go downstairs alone?
Can't we just call
them or something?
I mean they must have an
extension or something.
The phone is out remember.
Oh god.
Okay, okay okay okay,
let's just go find
Tony and Chloe and get
the hell out of here now.
Okay, let's go.
Wait, wait wait
wait wait wait,
where the hell are we goin'?
I think it was room 10403
or something like that.
Look, I'll lead, watch our back.
Just one floor up, right?
I don't know.
Get your clothes on
guys we're coming in.
Oh my god.
Oh shit, man.
I said it before and
I'm gonna say it again
let's get the hell out of here.
Is everything okay up here?
Oh, thank
god, the police are here.
I never thought I'd be
glad to see this guy again.
Oh, we got a call about a
disturbance at this address.
Disturbance, disturbance!
You can say that again, look!
Oh man.
It's a sick fucking world.
Who were they?
Chloe Wilson
and Tony Michaels.
They work here.
I mean, they worked here.
And we found two
bodies in the copy room.
Plus, Gus the night
watchman we think.
Well that would explain
why he wasn't at his post
when I came in.
And a friend of
ours is missing.
' A qm'?
Yes.
She's probably the one
who called the report in.
She's okay.
Thank god.
Can we get out of here now?
Well, we don't know
where he is right now.
So the safest place for
your folks is to be with me.
Do we know who's doing this?
Joe vickers.
One of the most
twisted psychopaths
we've ever come in contact with.
Notice the pentagram.
Vickers is a Satan worshiper.
Must make him real strong
'cause the last time
we had to deal with him
he got shot six times and
stabbed in the stomach
by a long wooden stake.
And I mean all the way through.
Kinda like your friends here?
And that didn't kill him?
Barely slowed him down.
The kids that did it to him
left him for dead
and went for help
and when we got there
we couldn't find a body.
We assumed he was dead.
'Til the killing started again.
When was that?
Oh, just this evening.
We found the body of your
friend in the dumpster outside.
Our friend?
The brunette.
I'm assuming she's your friend
because all three of
you are dressed a like.
Wait a minute.
I thought you said she was
the one that called this in?
I thought you said she was okay?
How the hell should I know?
What have I got crystal balls?
But you said that...
I don't care what I said.
Are you trying to
impede my investigation?
No sir, I just wanna...
shut up!
None of you is above suspicion.
I thought you said it
was this vickers guy.
No.
You're confused little lady.
Police officer Joe vickers,
at your service.
Now, where was I?
Oh yeah, I was gonna
show you my scar.
" Now!
The cop's the killer
let's get the hell out of here
while we still have a chance.
I shoulda told you, I'll
never take a desk job.
No!
Larry!
Burn in hell you little nini.
" Go!
Hurry, he's coming.
Oh girls.
What are you running for?
I'm just gonna read
ya your rights.
Look out you guys, look out.
Break the glass!
- Dammit it's bulletproof.
- Oh god.
No.
Oh no, oh no.
All right, come
get it you asshole.
Where is he?
I don't know,
he didn't come out.
How are we gonna
get out of here?
I think there's a
fire exit somewhere.
Where?
I don't know, there's
never been a fire.
Oh god.
We're gonna have
to go look for it.
We don't know where he is.
I know he's not in the
lobby, I can see the lobby.
Did he shoot the guys?
I heard some shots.
I don't know.
Oh my god, he's gonna
shot us, he's gonna shot us.
Not if we can get
a way out of here.
I'm going to look
for another exit.
You wanna come with me,
you guys wanna stay here?
I don't wanna stay here.
Me either.
All right, all
right, follow me.
What do we do now?
Let me think.
Oh sure, like, take your time.
Shut up Cindy.
We're gonna have to go
back up to the third floor
and try to get out
through the garage.
Terrific, does that mean
we're gonna have
to take the stairs?
That or the elevator.
Personally I think we'll
do better on the stairs.
Come on.
Let's go.
Come on, this way.
What about here?
There's no way to get to
the garage on that floor.
How do you know?
Trust me.
Drop it.
Drop the gun.
Like hell I will.
Let her go.
Oh my god.
Now I'll splatter her brains
all over this wall if
you don't drop that gun.
Oh my god.
You're repeating
yourself dear.
Don't kill me,
please don't kill me.
Look, I'm not
putting this gun down.
You let her go and we'll
let you walk out of here.
You'll let me, will ya?
Oh that's rich.
All right.
Just to let you know
that I'm a serious guy.
Cindy!
Now, I will splatter
her brains too
if you don't put the gun down.
But if you do I promise
i won't shoot her.
I've already reached
my quota today.
Okay, let her go.
Kick it over here.
Thank you.
Now let her go.
You got to listen more
carefully to what people say.
I never said I'd let her go.
I only said i
wouldn't shoot her.
How's the party
girls, having fun yet?
Nice chaps.
Come out come out
wherever you are.
Olly olly oxen free?
You can run, you can't hide.
Ah.
Assaulting an officer,
that's a serious offense.
What are you gonna do
now, call the cops?
No, I'm gonna send you back
to hell you twisted shit.
Whoops, silly me.
I forgot to reload.
Oh yes, this is going to be fun.
Oh god, I'm gonna
have to do it.
Oh god, oh god.
I'm here.
Ding dong-
avon calling.
Candy gram.
Here's Joey.
Come on out, I know
you're in here.
I've got a search warrant.
I'm not gonna hurt ya.
You know, I really think
that we should talk about
all those unpaid
parking tickets.
I'm not gonna hurt
you to get even.
Oh no.
That would be childish.
I'm gonna hurt you just
because it's gonna be fun.
Are you waiving your
right to an attorney?
What about your phone call?
You get one phone
call, you know.
No?
Well, whatever you say.
She waives her right
to a phone call.
Wait a minute.
The verdict is in.
Aw, too bad.
It's the death penalty.
One Adam 12, one Adam 12.
Suspect is blonde and considered
extremely fucking stupid.
You know, they just don't make
elevators like they used to.
Do they?
You always end up
getting the shaft.
All right, this is the police.
Come outwith your hands
where we can see 'em.
Damn, that always works on TV.
Ah-ha.
Of course, where else would
a lady like yourself be?
You're powdering your nose.
Can't have a shiny nose can we?
Not when I'm gonna
cut your head off
and put it on a goddamn stake
and parade around town with it.
Eat this you gargoyle.
Go back to hell.
Ah shit!
I guess you got the
shaft in the end huh?
Oh god.
It's all right, it's okay.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to.
Where is he?
- No, it's okay.
- Where is he?
He's dead I killed
him, it's all right.
- You killed him?
- Oh god, you okay?
- You killed him?
- You're shot.
Yes.
I'm okay, i
stopped the bleeding.
What do you say we get
the hell out of here huh?
Yeah, yeah I'm up for that.
I'm so glad you're alive.
Come on, let me help you.
- Wait, lean on me.
- Oh.
- Watch out.
- You okay?
Easy, just go slow.
All right.
Here, oh shit i
completely forgot
we can't get out this way.
So it would seem.
You're bleeding again.
Look, we're gonna have to
go up to the third floor
and get out the garage.
You think you're up to it?
After tonight that
would be a cake walk.
I'll get the elevator.
Okay-
oh shit, I almost forgot,
the elevator's not
working either we
gotta go up the stairs.
Nini!
You, you I wanna kill
with my bare hands.
And it is not gonna be quick.
Sharon.
Remember what I said about
not holding a grudge.
I lied.
Sharon.
It is your turn, come here.
I see you.
You burned me you bitch.
Good thing you're wearing black
'cause you're
going to a funeral.
Yours.
Oh god, please!
Somebody help me!
Somebody help me!
Please!
Somebody!
Please!
Somebody!
Please, somebody, help me!
Please, somebody!
Please, no!
What the hell's
going on out there?
Hey, what the hell's
he doing to her?
Oh my god, that's a cop.
And he's beating
the shit out of her.
Let's go.
God, somebody help me!
Stop it, Jesus Christ.
Hey, leave her alone.
Hey, cut it out.
Back off asshole, I don't
care what she's done.
Jesus, you're a mess officer.
Go to hell.
You're all under arrest
for person blocking.
- Get him!
- Hit him!
- Hit him!
- Hit him!
- Hit him!
- Hit him!
And that was the
scene at approximately
2 A.M. this morning
when a group of citizens
coming to the aid
of a woman in need
unknowingly helped capture
officer Joe vickers.
Former police officer who
has since gone on to infamy
as one of the southlands most
notorious serial killers.
Vickers spent most of
the proceeding evening
terrorizing the occupants
of stonecipher enterprises.
An office building
here on mission
from which there were
only two survivors.
As for vickers himself,
despite the beating he took,
he remains in guarded
condition at county hospital.
Doctors are quoted as saying
"his survival is nothing
short of a miracle."
Will you please
turn that thing off.
Yeah, I don't wanna
relive that again.
I have a feeling we're
gonna be seeing that video
plenty of times.
So how you feeling anyway?
Like I've been
shot in the shoulder
and chopped with an ax.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
You know what I'm
thinking though.
'Hmm?
Does workers'
compensation cover this?
Did you hear what I said?
Please don't it
hurts, I'm not kidding.
Doctor thoris dial 182 please.
Doctor kravits, you have
a visitor in the main lobby.
It's gonna be great.
Well, what if
stonecipher finds out?
Oh right, lik old
man stoneciphefls
gonna be working late.
That's why he own the
company, remember.
So he doesn't have
to stay after hours.
Besides he'd never pay
himself the overtime.
What if somebody
tell him larr?
Look, the only person
in the building that late
is Gus the night watchman, okay.
I've already worked
everything out with him.
I'm telling you, it's gonna
be the best bachelor party
that you've seen.
Don't we have to send
Gary off in style?
Well yeah but, you know, i
just don't want to lose my job.
Look, if something goes wrong
i will take all the blame.
"Don't blame Brian,
Mr. stonecipher.
"I told him if he didn't
take part in the party
"I'd show you these polaroids
of him and this goat.
"Oh yes sir it's a
particularly ugly goat
"but he was very drunk."
I never did it with a goat.
That's because you
could never find one.
Okay, let's make sure we
thought of everything.
Okay?
I've got the strippers ready.
Mike has the booze.
You have the grass.
Shut up!
Jesus.
Well, howdy officer.
Can we help you sir?
You boys wouldn't be
planning anything illegal,
would you now?
No sir, we would never
do anything illegal.
You just see that you don't.
Yes sir, officer.
You boys stay out
of trouble, you hear?
- Yes sir, officer.
- Yes sir, officer.
Wow, if that's not an
example of inbreeding
I don't know what is.
Damn that cop was weird.
Brian, you really
need to switch
to a decaffeinated buddy,
he's just messing with us.
If he wanted to bust
us he could have.
What do you mean?
I mean, you have
marijuana in your briefcase.
~ shh!
Now, he would not
have known that
had you not told the
entire world, Larry.
Of course he would have.
Cops can smell that
stuff from a mile away.
Really?
They take a class in it.
Smelling 101 it's taught
by a German Shepard.
L'm just kidding, chill out,
take a chill pill or something.
Get yourself out of
your hair all right.
I just wanna know why the
hell he was acting that way.
Because he's an
anal retentive cop
who takes his job
way too seriously.
He's gone now just relax, okay.
Larry-
what is it now?
What is this, the
walking police?
I don't think we're speeding.
See that guy over there,
he's going faster than we are
and so is that guy.
If anybody gets pulled
over it'll be him.
Uh-oh illegal u-turn,
oh officer, officer.
Keep it down, i
think it's the same cop
from the donut shop.
Who, officer inbred?
He's following us.
I don't think so.
He is.
Okay wait a second, let's see.
This is silly, I'll ask him.
No no no.
Hey, officer!
Jesus.
Oh officer
inbred are you following us
because you smell my
friend's illegal doggy bag?
You know, I don't
think that's very funny.
I dumped the pot.
You mailed the dope.
To who?
I don't know, grandma Moses.
Aw, goddamn, come on let's
go we gotta get a move on.
I can live without the weed,
it's never done
much for me anyway.
Come on.
Good morning Dolores.
Good morning.
Good morning Dolores.
Good morning.
Hey hey hey, you
all ready for tonight big guy?
Oh yeah, I'm all set.
I already told Ingrid i
was working late tonight.
(He)', you got the girls?
Oh yes.
We are sending you
off in style partner.
This is great, this is great.
Ingrid darling, I love you.
And in two weeks I'm
gonna be all yours
but for right now there's a
few thing you shouldn't see.
Michael, my man, i
believe you're in charge
of refreshments for tonight's
little get together.
Funny, I don't recall
being given that assignment.
Let me check my files.
Whoa, you think you
got enough there Mike?
You can never
really have enough.
(Ahuds)
Oh yeah.
Larry, it's stonecipher.
Ah, thanks Brian, this is
just the file I was looking for.
Morning Mr. stonecipher.
Coffee.
No thanks.
What a nice man.
Yo Tony, are you staying for
Gary's bachelor shindig tonight?
I don't think so.
I mean I'd like to.
But I sort of had
a prior commitment.
Oh Tony say it isn't so
man, it's gonna be a blast.
We've got strippers,
we've got refreshments
filed under b for booze.
I'd like to but i
gotta do something.
Next time.
Okay, next time
Gary gets married.
Stop it.
You know, we can
still work late tonight.
I don't enjoy
having an audience.
The party's gonna be upstairs.
I mean, we can't do it on
stoneciphers desk like you wanted.
But we can do it down here.
Uh yeah?
Yeah.
You know, we can make
some interesting copies.
You are so kinky.
It's a date.
Yeah, do you have
cherry chapstick?
Can I call you back please?
Larry.
Larry, don't look now
but you know that gorgeous
girl from accounting?
She's right over there.
You know with the niceness.
You're Sharon
Wells from accounting.
And you're Norris the veen
from the land of obnactigon.
Wait a second,
aren't you from Ohio?
I see that my
reputation precedes me.
My friends call me Larry.
Well it's nice to
meet you Lawrence.
May I be so bold as to say
that you look
absolutely lovely today.
Well gee, thanks larr.
That's awfully sweet of you.
Why, you don't look
half bad yourself.
Mike, you idiot, i
was talkin' to Brian.
What are you doing for lunch?
I thought I'd eat.
Ah, what a
coincidence, me too.
Why don't we do it together?
Well actually Lawrence,
i already have plans today
but why don't you
take Brian here
he does look lovely today,
if I may be so bold.
Excuse me, thank you.
You know you can
act all cool and everything
but you know something?
You're gonna be thinking
about me, I can tell.
Is that so?
Granted, they may
not be nice thoughts
but it's a start.
I'm not gonna let
you forget about me.
I'll take shock
treatments Lawrence.
All right big Tony,
way to go buddy.
Hey, do you mind?
I just need to make one copy.
All right.
Thanks guys.
As you were you
two, have fun huh.
Just, what are
you doing Larry?
Here we are, Wells comma
Sharon accounting third floor
extension 3333.
Just sending our miss
Wells a gentle reminder.
You know, you might
wanna watch yourself Larry.
She's quite the jock
from what I hear.
Uh yeah?
Yes.
She's the leading scorer
on the softball team.
She might break
you in half larr.
Ah, but what a way to go.
Maybe I should
check that number.
How are you today
Mr. stonecipher?
Stop kissing my ass.
Oh god, another long
wonderful romantic evening.
- Goodnight Mr. stonecipher.
- Goodnight Mr. stonecipher.
Goodnight Mr. stonecipher.
It's quitting time and
i don't pay any overtime.
Well that's okay
Mr. stonecipher.
We just have a little
work to finish up.
Suit yourselves.
Goddamn assholes.
Brown-nosers.
Come on.
Yeah!
- All right Mikey party time.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Wait a minute,
let's make sure.
Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis
has left the building.
Party time, party time!
Larry!
" What is it?
Come take a look at this.
What, is he coming back?
No, i think it's that cop.
Officer inbred, no way.
Who and what
is an officer inbred?
Just this cop
who hassled us this morning
at the donut shop before work.
And he's down there?
I don't know, where is he?
He's right there.
What that car down there?
What makes you think that
that's officer inbred?
Look, he followed us earlier.
He might have
followed us to work.
Followed you, why?
He didn't follow us.
Brian just has an
overactive imagination.
Some cop car parks behind
us today we we're walking,
right, so Brian decides
that it's the same cop
and he's got some personal
vendetta against us.
So Brian gets so excited that
he takes the grass we had
and he mails it to somebody.
We just don't know who.
That cop was acting really
strange in the donut shop.
Brian, he's a cop.
He shoots at people
for a living.
Chances are he's a little bit
strange just forget about him.
What's he gonna do Brian,
roll down his window,
shake his fist and
shout up at us.
"Hey you kids up there.
"You're having a party
after hours aren't you?
"Okay, come one down we're
gonna take you to jail now."
Now, if you'll excuse me
I'm going to procure us
some feminine entertainment.
Mikey.
Women, women, women, women,
women, women, women!
Yay, women yeah, yeah!
This is great.
Come on, loosen up will ya?
Come on you guys.
Oh my god.
Holy, check that out Gus,
what do you think huh?
Shame on it.
We are gonna have some
fun tonight, oh yes.
All right, all right,
time to rock and roll.
Hey, thanks Gus.
No problem.
Just don't burn down the
building on my shift.
All right, yeah.
Are you lovely ladies
ready to party or what?
Oh always ready to party.
We'll see.
Which floor?
To the top of the shaft
oops silly me, now
it's gonna take forever
to get all the way up.
Oh, i wouldn't bet on that.
Are you sure they're only
going to be on the top floor?
Of course baby.
Maybe we should go down
a couple of floors.
Okay
just to be safe.
All right.
Howdy officer.
Can I help you?
Got a call about some
disturbances at this address.
Is everything okay?
Oh sure, everything's fine.
It's been quiet as a graveyard.
Ah, well.
Probably just a crank call.
Sorry to have bothered you.
Ah, no trouble.
Ls that the game?
Oh yeah, it's the
bottom of the ninth.
Would you mind?
I can't seem to
get it on my radio.
No no no, come on in.
It's time to party
old farts, let's go.
Ride 'em cowboy,
ride 'em baby.
Do it baby, do it.
Oh you are beautiful.
Oh this is great.
You guys are the
best, I love you.
I love you guys, you
guys are the best.
Mikey, love you man.
Yeah baby, all for
you Gary, all for you.
You know Gus,
I saw you let
those girls in here.
Oh sure, well a couple
of fellas up on seven
are having a bachelor party.
I don't think that would
be in company policy.
Ah, how should I know?
I don't write company policy.
I don't even read it.
Hey, turn that back on.
I for one am sure
that taking bribes
is not in company policy.
What are you talking about?
I saw you take
money from that kid.
Oh.
He owed me a few
dollars, so what?
Now come on, turn that
back on, I'm serious.
Well I'm serious too.
I could run you in
for contributing
to the delinquency of a minor.
What minors?
They're all over 21 up there.
Now Jesus, relax will ya.
They just having some fun.
Fun, fun?
Oh yeah, it's all fun
and games isn't it?
Until someone loses an eye.
I'll be right back.
Why don't you keep an
eye out while I'm gone?
Seventh floor, going up.
Linens, lingerie,
eviscerated women.
Who's that?
Hey man, did somebody
call the elevator?
Larry, none of us were
anywhere near that call button.
So someone called
the elevator, so what?
Can't you see I'm
busy over here?
What if Ingrid found
out about the party?
Hey, if Ingrid
knew about the party
she'd come up herself.
You guys know who it is,
it's Gus the night watchman.
Sure scared the
poop out of me.
Yeah me too.
Very funny Gus!
Now, where were we?
We were right here.
Hey, you know this gag's
getting a little old.
Enough with the
elevators already.
You guys are starting to sound
like a bunch of old women!
I'll go down and talk to the guy
and see what's going on, okay?
Hey, thanks Mikey.
No problem.
Only, Larry, when I get back
i don't wanna hear no more
about elevators and i
don't wanna hear this guy
crying about his future
ex wife showing up.
We are here to party!
You're not going
anywhere big boy.
Baby, let me go
take care of this
and when I get back we will
have no more distractions.
Hurry back.
Oh god.
Hey Larry, what's
this guy's name again?
His name's Gus.
Gus, okay no problem,
I'll be right back.
And don't do anything
i wouldn't do.
Then again with these
girls I would do anything.
Carry on men.
What if Ingrid finds
out about the party?
Idiots.
Oh.
What the hell is this?
Oh come on.
Oh that's really funny.
Come on.
I got beautiful babes upstairs.
Fuck.
I really gotta lose some weight.
I think I'll take the stairs.
Yo Gus.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Oh, I'm sorry i
didn't hear you come in.
Is everything okay up there?
Yeah everything's fine.
Well one of the guy's
a little paranoid
about his wife finding
out about the party
and they were
wondering if it was you
that sending the
elevator up and down.
Well not me and
I think I'm the
only one down here.
Wait a minute.
Was it the one on the left?
Yeah it was.
Well there you go.
See, that one's been
acting screwy all day long.
Those assholes in
maintenance forgot to put an
out of order sign
on every floor.
I hope you didn't try to
come down in that one.
Yeah well I did and i
got stuck between floors,
I had to crawl my way out.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Well just remember that,
try the one on the right
when you go back up
it's working fine.
And don't worry, I'm
gonna get all over
those assholes tomorrow.
I got stuck in there
myself last night.
Oh good, now i
don't feel so bad.
Okay well, thanks a lot
buddy, see you later.
Ah.
How's the party?
Oh the party's great.
Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't ask you.
Can I get you anything?
Whatever you want, we
got blondes, brunettes.
Got any booze?
We got booze.
What's your poison friend?
Scotch.
Scotch, you got it.
Guess you need a
little something
to get you through the night.
It must be pretty boring
the whole night by yourself huh?
Oh no.
I've always been
good at killing time.
Be right back.
Hey, hey Mikey's back.
Where'd you go?
What'd he say?
Go, what'd he say?
It wasn't him.
The left elevator's
all screwed up.
It stopped between floors,
I had to crawl to
the fifth floor.
Brian take a note of that.
Elevator on left bad,
elevator on right good.
I'll type up a memo.
I promised I'd bring him
down a bottle of scotch.
Don't worry baby I'll be back.
Shit.
Sorry, this is a
no stopping zone.
Man, am I glad to see you.
Here.
Thanks.
Going down
straight to hell.
By the way kid,
thanks for the booze but i
never drink when I'm on duty.
Man, Mike should
be here to see this.
Yeah, where is Mike though?
He hasn't been here
for a long time.
He's probably watching
the game with Gus.
Man, does he have his
priorities screwed up.
Mmhm.
Wait a second, Larry.
He might be stuck in
the elevator again.
Then we got a
better boy girl ratio.
I still think we should check.
Brian relax he's just fine.
Larry-
Larry come take a look at this.
What is it now?
That is weird.
Who the hell would be
sending us their chest?
Larry, I think it's that cop.
I doubt if officer inbred
has a fax machine in his car.
His car.
His car's still there.
Oh.
Brian don't hyperventilate okay?
I mean, think about it huh.
Who wears a badge and
coincidentally knows
that we're up here?
Gus the night watchman.
Bingo, give that man a cigar.
They probably were finishing
that bottle of scotch
and they decided to
mess with your mind.
See, what did I tell ya?
Look,
you two guys are
too damn serious.
Now, here's what's gonna happen.
Miss Lisa, that's her, and I
are gonna go out and spend
some quality time together.
Besides, it's my party and
i can do whatever I want.
Isn't that right?
That's right.
Hey, knock
yourself out big guy.
Brian and I'll take care
of these two lovely ladies.
Well you do that
cause in the mean time
miss Lisa and I, that's
her, we're gonna go out
and spend some
quality time together.
Hey you've already
said that part.
Well, it's my party and
i can do whatever I want.
Take him away,
get him out of here.
You know, I'm beginning
to suspect foreplay.
Oh my god.
Ah.
It's not what it looks like.
Oh.
It doesn't look like
anything really.
She tripped, she fell and
i was trying to help her up.
No, it was my fault
i should have knocked.
I was just looking
for a stapler.
(Anyway, 08")' On-
have a good time.
You know what I mean.
She tripped?
Oh great, the stapler.
Wait, wait.
What?
I got an idea.
What?
Let's go up to the roof.
The roof?
Let's go up to the main roof.
I'm so damn funny.
You're a genius.
Sorry, you startled me.
Well hello there officer.
Very nice night
we're having tonight.
Sure looks pretty out.
You little punk.
You're drunk and disorderly
and we can't have that.
, hey
hey, I may very well
be drunk occifer
but I am not...
and what would Ingrid say
if she could see you now.
Ingfld?
You're under arrest.
You have the right
to remain dead.
Anything you say can
and will be considered
extremely strange
because you're dead.
You have the right
to an attorney.
Not a lot of good
it'll do ya because
you're dead.
Do you understand these rights?
Are you even listening to me?
You're not being
very cooperative.
I hate to kick a
man when he's dead
they just don't put
up much of a fight.
Please, put me down.
Well, it is your
first offense.
So maybe I should
just let you go
with a warning.
Oh my god!
You act like trash you
get treated like trash.
Oh my god, oh my god!
What the hell is it now?
I'm pretty sure that I saw
a body fall passed the window.
A body?
That's what it
looked like larr.
I don't see any
body down there.
Perhaps it bounced back up.
Listen, I'm pretty sure
that that's what it was.
There goes your overactive
imagination again.
You probably saw a pigeon.
A damn big pigeon.
It was a mutant ninja pigeon.
What about Mike, where's Mike?
Who gives a damn?
Are you actually upset
that we have these
two beautiful
creatures to ourselves?
Well Mike could be stuck in
the elevator again you know.
Perhaps your priorities
are out of whack.
Wait, that could
be Mike right now.
From Gary.
What the hell
does this mean larr?
Maybe he's trying to
tell us not to drive drunk.
Shit for brains.
Well, now we
know where Mike is.
He's down in the copy
room with Gary and Lisa.
Do you feel better now?
Yeah, I guess I do get a
little paranoid sometimes larr.
Yeah, and the pope
is a little catholic.
Hey tell you what, since
we know where they are
why don't you run down there
and we'll really get
this party started?
Okay-
don't be such a nene Brian.
It's okay Brian, okay.
It's okay.
Get a hold of yourself Brian
now you're getting freaked
out by bad rococo art.
Ls everyone decent in there?
Well I guess that's a bit
much to ask from you guys.
Is everyone dressed
in there at least?
Mike.
(Gar)'-
anyone.
Oh, terrific.
Oh, where are you guys now?
Oh, I got a really bad
feeling about this.
No.
Hey, welcome back Brian.
Hey, what's wrong?
Hey, are you okay?
What's wrong?
You look like
you've seen a ghost.
I feel like I've
just seen a ghost.
Well what's going on,
where's Mike and Gary at?
I don't know but there's
something really wrong.
Really, what is it?
You better come
with me I'll show you.
I don't see anything Brian.
I mean, the place
could definitely
use a little bit of tidying up.
Oh come on, look around.
You notice anything strange?
Hey Mike has freckles, you
know I never noticed that.
I'm serious Larry.
Brian I'm sorry.
I don't know what I'm
supposed to be looking for.
How long does it take to
make this many pictures?
I don't know maybe
five or ten minutes.
And look at these pictures,
now does Mike look any
different in any of these?
I don't know.
Is he wearing a funny
hat or something?
He hasn't moved.
Yeah he hasn't moved, he
hasn't moved one muscle.
What are you trying to say?
Yeah what are
you saying Brian?
Look at the pictures,
he looks dead.
Oh my god.
Wait a second, you're
getting too excited about this.
Look, I'll show you
how he did it, okay?
Okay, yeah.
What did you do
with my undies?
Tore them off in a fit
of unbridled passion.
No I mean where
did you put them?
I don't know, were
you wearing any?
Oh no, I remember, you took
them off in the copy room.
Oh yes, I remember now.
Well, will you go
and get them for me?
Why me?
Well because
you're the guy and
because you're already
wearing your undies.
All right, all right.
A man's work is never done.
Tony give me my underwear.
Tony give me multiple orgasms.
Work work work.
Well, I certainly didn't
hear you complaining.
I didn't say i
didn't love my work.
You know, adultery is still
illegal in a lot of states.
I'll bet that smarts doesn't it?
Now, now.
Wouldn't wanna have
to separate you two.
Now that's what I like to see.
You're stuck together
'til the very end.
See.
The grain is different.
What?
The grain is different.
When you make a copy of a
copy the grain is different
there's lower resolution.
And look at this,
look at this smear.
What smear?
Right there.
Look, there's
something on the glass.
Oh my god.
And I suppose
I'm imagining that?
It doesn't mean
anything Brian.
It could be strawberry jam.
And it could be blood.
Oh come on, yeah maybe
if somebody got a paper cut
or something.
Come on, reality
check time here.
There are no bodies.
If Gary and Mike are
dead then where are they?
Oh give me a break.
This is not Friday the
13th part infinity here.
If there are any bodies in there
they're not gonna
fall out on me.
Then open it!
Okay, I will.
No no wait wait, I'm scared.
Oh come on, this
is ridiculous.
Watch, I'll show you.
Are we satisfied yet?
There is no psychotic murderer
running lose in the building.
Get him off of
me, get him off of me!
Oh my god I was right!
I'm never right
but now I am right!
Get him off of me!
(Grown
~ shh!
I think I heard something.
Oh god.
Wait!
Here, get in here!
What the hell are
you doing in my...
what the hell
are you doing here?
~ shh!
I'm working late.
Who are they?
And why aren't they dressed?
They're dressed, they're
just dressed scantily.
Oh my god, you scared
the shit out of us!
Well I'm glad i
could return the favor.
What's going on here anyway?
I mean, you look terrible.
I was going um,
how do I say this?
Mike and Gary are dead!
What?
~ shh!
The killer is in the building.
That's what we're doing in here.
We're hiding!
Christ man, Mike
and Gary are dead!
Oh no, oh no no no, wait wait.
And the fucking night
watchman Gus is dead.
" Gus?
You remember the
fax with the badge.
Oh shit!
What about Lisa?
She was with Gary.
We're just gonna have
to hope that she's okay.
Wait a minute, you guys
are serious aren't you?
Yes.
We found Mike and Gary
in the copy room dead.
I'm calling the cops.
It's dead.
Oh big surprise.
That's a big surprise.
Okay, let's not panic.
Let's just stay
quiet, stick together
and get out of the building.
Okay, let's go now!
Oh shit, I almost forgot.
What?
Chloe Wilson and Tony
Michaels are here too.
Oh shit.
No no no no,
no Tony had something
important to do tonight.
Yeah, Chloe.
Tony and Chloe are?
You didn't know that?
No, Tony's married.
So is Chloe that's why
they're doing it at the office.
I walked in on them
a while ago upstairs.
We have to warn them.
Okay but if we do
that we do it together.
No no no I don't wanna
go upstairs please.
Wait, do you wanna
go downstairs alone?
Can't we just call
them or something?
I mean they must have an
extension or something.
The phone is out remember.
Oh god.
Okay, okay okay okay,
let's just go find
Tony and Chloe and get
the hell out of here now.
Okay, let's go.
Wait, wait wait
wait wait wait,
where the hell are we goin'?
I think it was room 10403
or something like that.
Look, I'll lead, watch our back.
Just one floor up, right?
I don't know.
Get your clothes on
guys we're coming in.
Oh my god.
Oh shit, man.
I said it before and
I'm gonna say it again
let's get the hell out of here.
Is everything okay up here?
Oh, thank
god, the police are here.
I never thought I'd be
glad to see this guy again.
Oh, we got a call about a
disturbance at this address.
Disturbance, disturbance!
You can say that again, look!
Oh man.
It's a sick fucking world.
Who were they?
Chloe Wilson
and Tony Michaels.
They work here.
I mean, they worked here.
And we found two
bodies in the copy room.
Plus, Gus the night
watchman we think.
Well that would explain
why he wasn't at his post
when I came in.
And a friend of
ours is missing.
' A qm'?
Yes.
She's probably the one
who called the report in.
She's okay.
Thank god.
Can we get out of here now?
Well, we don't know
where he is right now.
So the safest place for
your folks is to be with me.
Do we know who's doing this?
Joe vickers.
One of the most
twisted psychopaths
we've ever come in contact with.
Notice the pentagram.
Vickers is a Satan worshiper.
Must make him real strong
'cause the last time
we had to deal with him
he got shot six times and
stabbed in the stomach
by a long wooden stake.
And I mean all the way through.
Kinda like your friends here?
And that didn't kill him?
Barely slowed him down.
The kids that did it to him
left him for dead
and went for help
and when we got there
we couldn't find a body.
We assumed he was dead.
'Til the killing started again.
When was that?
Oh, just this evening.
We found the body of your
friend in the dumpster outside.
Our friend?
The brunette.
I'm assuming she's your friend
because all three of
you are dressed a like.
Wait a minute.
I thought you said she was
the one that called this in?
I thought you said she was okay?
How the hell should I know?
What have I got crystal balls?
But you said that...
I don't care what I said.
Are you trying to
impede my investigation?
No sir, I just wanna...
shut up!
None of you is above suspicion.
I thought you said it
was this vickers guy.
No.
You're confused little lady.
Police officer Joe vickers,
at your service.
Now, where was I?
Oh yeah, I was gonna
show you my scar.
" Now!
The cop's the killer
let's get the hell out of here
while we still have a chance.
I shoulda told you, I'll
never take a desk job.
No!
Larry!
Burn in hell you little nini.
" Go!
Hurry, he's coming.
Oh girls.
What are you running for?
I'm just gonna read
ya your rights.
Look out you guys, look out.
Break the glass!
- Dammit it's bulletproof.
- Oh god.
No.
Oh no, oh no.
All right, come
get it you asshole.
Where is he?
I don't know,
he didn't come out.
How are we gonna
get out of here?
I think there's a
fire exit somewhere.
Where?
I don't know, there's
never been a fire.
Oh god.
We're gonna have
to go look for it.
We don't know where he is.
I know he's not in the
lobby, I can see the lobby.
Did he shoot the guys?
I heard some shots.
I don't know.
Oh my god, he's gonna
shot us, he's gonna shot us.
Not if we can get
a way out of here.
I'm going to look
for another exit.
You wanna come with me,
you guys wanna stay here?
I don't wanna stay here.
Me either.
All right, all
right, follow me.
What do we do now?
Let me think.
Oh sure, like, take your time.
Shut up Cindy.
We're gonna have to go
back up to the third floor
and try to get out
through the garage.
Terrific, does that mean
we're gonna have
to take the stairs?
That or the elevator.
Personally I think we'll
do better on the stairs.
Come on.
Let's go.
Come on, this way.
What about here?
There's no way to get to
the garage on that floor.
How do you know?
Trust me.
Drop it.
Drop the gun.
Like hell I will.
Let her go.
Oh my god.
Now I'll splatter her brains
all over this wall if
you don't drop that gun.
Oh my god.
You're repeating
yourself dear.
Don't kill me,
please don't kill me.
Look, I'm not
putting this gun down.
You let her go and we'll
let you walk out of here.
You'll let me, will ya?
Oh that's rich.
All right.
Just to let you know
that I'm a serious guy.
Cindy!
Now, I will splatter
her brains too
if you don't put the gun down.
But if you do I promise
i won't shoot her.
I've already reached
my quota today.
Okay, let her go.
Kick it over here.
Thank you.
Now let her go.
You got to listen more
carefully to what people say.
I never said I'd let her go.
I only said i
wouldn't shoot her.
How's the party
girls, having fun yet?
Nice chaps.
Come out come out
wherever you are.
Olly olly oxen free?
You can run, you can't hide.
Ah.
Assaulting an officer,
that's a serious offense.
What are you gonna do
now, call the cops?
No, I'm gonna send you back
to hell you twisted shit.
Whoops, silly me.
I forgot to reload.
Oh yes, this is going to be fun.
Oh god, I'm gonna
have to do it.
Oh god, oh god.
I'm here.
Ding dong-
avon calling.
Candy gram.
Here's Joey.
Come on out, I know
you're in here.
I've got a search warrant.
I'm not gonna hurt ya.
You know, I really think
that we should talk about
all those unpaid
parking tickets.
I'm not gonna hurt
you to get even.
Oh no.
That would be childish.
I'm gonna hurt you just
because it's gonna be fun.
Are you waiving your
right to an attorney?
What about your phone call?
You get one phone
call, you know.
No?
Well, whatever you say.
She waives her right
to a phone call.
Wait a minute.
The verdict is in.
Aw, too bad.
It's the death penalty.
One Adam 12, one Adam 12.
Suspect is blonde and considered
extremely fucking stupid.
You know, they just don't make
elevators like they used to.
Do they?
You always end up
getting the shaft.
All right, this is the police.
Come outwith your hands
where we can see 'em.
Damn, that always works on TV.
Ah-ha.
Of course, where else would
a lady like yourself be?
You're powdering your nose.
Can't have a shiny nose can we?
Not when I'm gonna
cut your head off
and put it on a goddamn stake
and parade around town with it.
Eat this you gargoyle.
Go back to hell.
Ah shit!
I guess you got the
shaft in the end huh?
Oh god.
It's all right, it's okay.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to.
Where is he?
- No, it's okay.
- Where is he?
He's dead I killed
him, it's all right.
- You killed him?
- Oh god, you okay?
- You killed him?
- You're shot.
Yes.
I'm okay, i
stopped the bleeding.
What do you say we get
the hell out of here huh?
Yeah, yeah I'm up for that.
I'm so glad you're alive.
Come on, let me help you.
- Wait, lean on me.
- Oh.
- Watch out.
- You okay?
Easy, just go slow.
All right.
Here, oh shit i
completely forgot
we can't get out this way.
So it would seem.
You're bleeding again.
Look, we're gonna have to
go up to the third floor
and get out the garage.
You think you're up to it?
After tonight that
would be a cake walk.
I'll get the elevator.
Okay-
oh shit, I almost forgot,
the elevator's not
working either we
gotta go up the stairs.
Nini!
You, you I wanna kill
with my bare hands.
And it is not gonna be quick.
Sharon.
Remember what I said about
not holding a grudge.
I lied.
Sharon.
It is your turn, come here.
I see you.
You burned me you bitch.
Good thing you're wearing black
'cause you're
going to a funeral.
Yours.
Oh god, please!
Somebody help me!
Somebody help me!
Please!
Somebody!
Please!
Somebody!
Please, somebody, help me!
Please, somebody!
Please, no!
What the hell's
going on out there?
Hey, what the hell's
he doing to her?
Oh my god, that's a cop.
And he's beating
the shit out of her.
Let's go.
God, somebody help me!
Stop it, Jesus Christ.
Hey, leave her alone.
Hey, cut it out.
Back off asshole, I don't
care what she's done.
Jesus, you're a mess officer.
Go to hell.
You're all under arrest
for person blocking.
- Get him!
- Hit him!
- Hit him!
- Hit him!
- Hit him!
- Hit him!
And that was the
scene at approximately
2 A.M. this morning
when a group of citizens
coming to the aid
of a woman in need
unknowingly helped capture
officer Joe vickers.
Former police officer who
has since gone on to infamy
as one of the southlands most
notorious serial killers.
Vickers spent most of
the proceeding evening
terrorizing the occupants
of stonecipher enterprises.
An office building
here on mission
from which there were
only two survivors.
As for vickers himself,
despite the beating he took,
he remains in guarded
condition at county hospital.
Doctors are quoted as saying
"his survival is nothing
short of a miracle."
Will you please
turn that thing off.
Yeah, I don't wanna
relive that again.
I have a feeling we're
gonna be seeing that video
plenty of times.
So how you feeling anyway?
Like I've been
shot in the shoulder
and chopped with an ax.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
You know what I'm
thinking though.
'Hmm?
Does workers'
compensation cover this?
Did you hear what I said?
Please don't it
hurts, I'm not kidding.
Doctor thoris dial 182 please.
Doctor kravits, you have
a visitor in the main lobby.