Sanky Panky (2007) Movie Script

Genaro let me get a mint.
Give me a mint!
Give me a candy!
A mint Genaro!
You should at least warn me
when you come in.
Made me choke on my English!
What do you want?
I want a mint.
This is...
This is...
Here's your mint, give it here.
Oh, I'm in the wrong market.
I better go to the next street, bye.
Sure, you go ahead.
Hope a truck runs over
your dumb heads.
Are you still trying English by mail?
It doesn't work around here.
Around here English is the language
of the rich or the destitute...
Just look at you.
Am I rich?
I got no choice but
to learn by mail.
I take care of it with Juana.
Look here...
Are you freaking nuts?
Put it away.
Can you picture me robbing a bank?
I borrowed it from Miguelito...
He hooked up with the American hag.
If he did so well, why can't I?
You should fight your battle here.
Why don't you get a local rich hag?
Would they look at this bag of bones?
I think we should struggle here.
That's bull.
One should struggle
where there's money?
Do you see any around here?
Do you see money?
Oh my! Look a bag of money...
no wait, it's just candy.
There's no money.
The money is held by a few people.
This country is a big old
garbage bag...
And no one has a clue
what to do with it.
The man just had it...
Not just tired of it, I HAD IT!
Same thing.
The ones doing great are... politicians,
government officials, baseball players...
And a couple of mega-divas!
Beat it guys!
I can't waste my time talking
to you slackers. Beat it.
That's enough, don't get so worked up.
Besides, you should turn
down that music.
Easy my man.
Genaro is our friend.
He's just a bit upset.
Cause he can't even learn how
to say sausage in English.
True, I don't know how to say it, but...
I know how to say "your mother!"
What does it mean?
That you are hip, a la mode!
I thought it meant something else.
So I am "your mother"?
Yeah, your t-shirt is your
mother, your mother...
Genaro the destitute.
The guys are right.
If Miguelito did well,
why can't I?
For one, he's good looking.
A good physique, robust, strong.
A deep gaze...
So I have a gay son?
For God sake mom!
I don't mind it that much.
Well, I don't care.
You figure it out, you do that.
But mom...
Your dad must be turning in his grave.
Can't you see how things
are around here mom?
Money is always in the same
pockets, with same people.
You just figured that out?
What world do you live in?
Be grateful for what you have.
And thank God for this shack.
Where you get three square meals...
Many people would kill for this...
Hut, what Shack?
I can't stand this anymore...
Who can stand this?
So what are you going to do?
Your uncle fired you from the car shop;
you couldn't even turn a screw.
Be grateful for what you got,
just as your parents did.
I can't mom.
I can't.
I can't watch you struggling
just to keep the shop going...
Taking shit from the rich...
The Sunday drunks...
I can't stand that.
Just to see you perish penniless
on that counter... Just like dad.
That I won't stand for.
Oh? Baby...
Who the hell is making so much noise?
Just when you're working...
Where are you going?
I go to see who is calling.
You'll leave me all alone?
No, I'll be right back baby...
Don't go anywhere, be right back.
Who the hell could this be?
What's all this noise my brother?
You think this is the farmers market?
This is my house.
What's up?
Gotta borrow your truck
to go see Miguelito.
Lend you my what?
Are you going nuts?
Miguelito lives far away...
Besides, my mom is here
and I'm working.
I said no.
I gave three grand and drank it
with the tailor's wife.
Wait Genaro,
don't make so much noise...
Mom is here and she'll notice...
What women are you talking about?
I was here by myself and just had
two beers from the corner store.
By myself, with no woman.
Without a woman.
No woman was there with me.
Alright, just one dropped by...
I mean she just appeared...
It was a coincidence,
pure coincidence...
I didn't take her there.
I didn't go there with any woman.
Alright... it was the tailor's woman.
And the three grand you lent me,
I drank it up with her.
And I'll pay you,
you know when... never.
What are you gonna do about it?
So stop making such much noise...
I was just working...
Let me go to the tailor.
Hey, Genaro, Genarito,
what's up my brother?
Is just my pick up truck you want?
I can't. You got no license,
I'll take you instead.
Listen up, stay right where you are.
Wait right here, I'll tell mom.
Mom, mom...
Stay right there.
Don't move...
Mommy look,
I got to step out with Genaro.
I'll be right back.
I'm coming...
What's the matter with him?
Look, you better behave...
Hurry up Chelo!
Alright I'm coming.
He's so demanding!
See you love.
You think Miguelito will tell me how
he got the old American lady?
Sure. He gave me the English
book so I could learn.
Just as the women from
Alta alegria say...
Genaro, change that face pal.
I mean...
Cheer up, cheer up.
Life's full of joy bro.
Look, I'm going to play
Aventura for you.
May I help you?
Love, you could help me
with whatever you like...
We're very close friends
of Mr. Miguelito.
Come right in, they're waiting
by the pool area.
A pool? Did you hear?
A pool area?
Next thing you know they have
a latrine area.
Don't talk crap inside
this beautiful house.
While you talk to Miguelito...
I'll go and get frozen lemonade
from the kitchen area.
Do your thing with Miguelito, go...
Hey Genaro!
Is that you Miguelito?
You look the same you crazy fool.
Maybe a little older.
Come over; don't stand there
like an idiot.
Like you've seen a ghost.
Come tell me about the neighborhood.
What a place,
what a mansion you've got.
Take a club, and keep talking...
So tell me about
the neighborhood Genaro.
Same old, hoodlums killing each other,
people stealing electricity...
streets fool of potholes...
The old lady's still sick
and complaining.
Everything is fine...
Not like you though...
but we manage.
Come hit it.
Hit the ball.
Sorry, I'm out of shape;
I haven't played in a while.
I'm doing terrible.
I'm doing lousy,
I'm hitting rock bottom.
I think you exaggerate.
Have a drink.
Things are so bad, that I'm organizing
illegal boat trips to Haiti.
Want to be on the list?
Would you like it with soda
or on the rocks?
I 'd drink it with my bare hands.
I need your help. I'm desperate.
I don't see that things are so bad...
Take a shot, three deep breadths
and tell me all about it...
Why are things so bad?
So now you don't even
now how things are.
Of course, living here you don't got
a clue what's going on in Capotillo.
You don't buy salami by slice or
portions or rations of tomato paste...
With such nice gay sandals,
and matching outfit,
you should start your own
entertainment TV show.
Where's the old lady?
What old lady?
The one you've got.
I'm doing the same thing.
Stop, stop it.
What do you mean by that?
I need an old lady to support me.
I've got assets; I'm an honest,
intelligent, nice looking guy.
You're good, but not good looking.
Whatever, I don't ask for much...
I'd take a flat ass woman,
a hairy one.
Wait Miguelito.
Listen to me; I don't ask
for much, you know.
Hold it. Boy you walk fast.
I saw her...
Your woman.
Don't tell me which one she is.
The one with the hat.
The long hair blonde.
The short hair one.
Jesus Miguelito!
Don't worry, I'm getting mine.
She's got you all cleaned up.
But I love her.
I swear.
Alright Miguelito.
She's the reason for my life.
Now you'll keep silent
like a dummy.
May I?
Holding no punches.
Yes of course Genaro.
You got some balls!
One thing is that you with your...
I mean...
You never know how things
could turn out.
They start out one way
and end up different...
Who would think I fall for Margaret?
Who? Margaret?
My wife.
Listen to her name.
Thing is you never know
where your future may be.
You know dam well where yours is,
I'm the clueless one.
I'll find mine, don't worry,
I'll find it.
Next year, I'll be wearing
those little sandals.
Don't do anything foolish.
Be careful.
Chelo! Chelo!
We'll be neighbors.
Jesus, what is he, my dad?
He follows me everywhere.
Don't worry my love.
I'm coming.
I'm getting you out of here.
I'm marrying you.
I love you.
I'm coming.
Don't worry; I'll get an old lady too.
Money changes people; he's all
stuck up, old lady and all.
Oh yeah? You can count on me.
I'll get an old lady too.
- I'm your pal.
- He's messing with me.
Don't get so upset...
Giuseppe, yes... how are you
my brother? It's me Genaro.
I know it's late.
I just need a small favor...
Get me a job in the hotel.
Whatever, as a doorman, waiter,
aerobic instructor...
I'm in a bit of jam here,
and need help.
I wouldn't call you if it wasn't...
Just weekends are fine.
I can't leave mom by herself.
You know her.
Sure... Have I ever bothered
you for anything?
I borrowed three grand from
you just to help a friend.
Of course, whatever...
Okay, I'm interested, I'm interested.
Trust me. I won't let you down.
Don't worry.
Are there American
women in the hotel?
Well, don't leave mom by herself
in the grocery store.
Change the bottles at 3:00am.
Beef patties arrive at 7:30 am,
so open at seven on the dot.
Don't play music in the grocery store.
Close at 11:00 pm and don't give credit
to jean factory workers. They don't pay.
And be careful with
the Dominican salami.
Leave that in our hands.
We're in charge.
That's why I worry,
I know my people.
Now that you got yourself into this,
Don't go waste your time in the hotel.
Get an American, not a German, Australian,
or French, they got no hips and no money.
It's a Gringa... and old.
The older she is the better
the business.
Get her old, but with money.
If she's broke, I'd rather keep Helena.
You know where they are, at the beach
sipping on drinks, laying on beach chairs.
- Chair long...
- Same thing...
Laying there with their
bare breasts...
And with their cula leg...
- Quarter leg...
- Same thing.
With their cula leg inside their
butts... mad tight... hard...
Dark skinned...
Don't get distracted.
You'll see gringas right away...
Fluffy, cellulites, tits,
belly button, tits...
White as milk, you'll see.
Enough. Just don't leave
my mom by herself.
Movies on sale, "Feast of the Goat",
"Sanky Panky".
- That's not even out!
- No bootlegs please...
- Pirates are cleaning up...
- Here, take Juana...
Are you nuts?
Want to get arrested again?
- Guys don't leave mom by herself in the store.
- Zero mom alone.
- Don't play music in the store.
- Zero music in the store.
- Careful with the Dominican salami.
- Stop that already!
See you.
Alright Genaro. You know
you'll get those gringas.
All the red heads are yours...
All of them, you're my disciple Genaro...
Remember you are the shit!
Genaro, Genaro, Genaro...
He won't even manage to get
the housekeeping ladies...
He won't get a thing... but we'll get
our asses drunk this weekend.
Wave and smile.
Well, here I am.
Mr. Giuseppe please.
Who's looking for him?
His friend Genaro.
Just a moment.
Mr. Giuseppe... a man who
calls himself Genaro.
I don't call myself Genaro.
It is my name.
That's his name.
He'll be right over sir.
That's a married woman.
Giuseppe, my brother,
you don't age! How are you?
Specially that one isn't for you.
I'm not here for that.
How's this little joint?
Come with me.
Jesus, I didn't know this was
so big. Look at that...
Where are these tourists
from Giuseppe?
All over, Italy, France,
Australia, England, the USA.
USA? Now we're talking.
Them people are my friends.
For their buildings,
their language...
Smart people, they know
English from birth.
And specially their women.
Wait... It's prohibited for employees
to have relationships with the guests.
So, tourists come over to drink
coconut water and hit the beach?
So it's prohibited?
No. One has to follow hotel
rules, even myself.
Alright then, you're the director,
the main man...
I am. Look, over there
they'll tell you what to do.
Don't let me down Genaro, alright?
Wait. Thanks Giuseppe,
you're doing me a big favor.
You're welcome.
That's what friends are for.
I deserve this for not paying
Giuseppe his money.
Boy careful with that ball.
Let's go to the basket!
Giuseppe, we're friends,
don't do this to me.
The kids are mutants,
they're killing me.
You said a job, not a torture.
It's one of the best jobs in the hotel.
What are you complaining about?
What do you mean? Just look
at me Giuseppe, look, look...
This is a joke.
Imagine, back home saying...
I work as a chicken in a hotel.
Can you imagine, Carlitos or Chelo
or someone that knows me in the hotel?
Nobody knows you here.
Besides, it's a job that leaves
lots of free time.
It's what you want right?
Sure. I'm in a chicken suit.
Americans don't care about that.
Besides, that's your luck,
be dressed as a chick.
You think?
Of course Genaro.
Don't you how curious women are?
I don't know.
For Gods sake Genaro.
How can I attract anyone
with this chicken suit on?
The wrapping is not important,
it's what's inside.
With this wrapping,
nobody would want the candy.
It's what's available,
take it or leave it.
Alright, I'll take it,
can't go home empty handed.
Hello baby, where are you
going with that body?
Can't you hear me, come here?
Giuseppe can say whatever he wants.
I won't get nowhere with this chicken suit.
Women come here.
I'm here to help you.
You have landed in paradise.
You should've told me, I would've
brought my tractor trailer.
Are you moving here or something?
Let's go, let's get the party started!
Party, party baby!
Are we going to party?
A lechosa smoothie...
We don't have that, we have papaya!
Forget it, it gives me acid reflux.
Shot of rum instead to warm me up.
I'm from Moca.
You mean from here?
God dam.
Excuse me.
How long have you been
in this business?
I thought you didn't like to talk.
Just a question.
You either answer it or not.
Alright, alright...
I've been in the business for
two years and two months...
Two years?
So I have to take two years of this?
With this heat and this hair?
How come Miguelito did it
in just a weekend?
Is this so hard?
No, one always manages.
What are you looking for?
I don't know...
you just discouraged me.
Someone like...
Well, something like that...
Alright, let's go then.
- Right now?
- Sure let's go.
Electric power rarely goes out here.
Just four hours a day.
We even have a subway now.
We've got a subway.
Look, that one doesn't look bad.
There's just one real baseball
team here, the Licey.
The others are just a bunch
of amateur boys...
Look at that, look at that... baby!
Careful, she's a local.
That's why she looks like she does.
And the national bird
here is the chicken.
They even won an election
with the chicken butt...
You know the chicken butt?
See how a macho man works...
Wait, wait... hold it right
there my man!
Let's respect each other...
Come over here.
It doesn't work this way,
not like this.
We firemen can't step
on each other's hoses.
I watched the American for a half
hour and you want her too?
Come back in, nothing happened,
come back...
This beach is full of women,
but you want the one I checked out?
Beat it or I'll have Giuseppe
throw your ass out.
Yes you do, yes you do.
Dam you, I'll slap you.
Stop it my brother.
This woman is mine.
No McGuire, no Sammy Sosa...
Besides, what's baseball
got to do with it?
- That's my woman.
- Stop, listen...
Hold on. I can handle
this by myself.
That woman is mine, mine,
don't you understand?
He's saying that's his wife.
Alright, let's not argue about
two or three wives.
There are enough wives to around...
Alright, I'm sorry... Goodbye wife.
It's on the house.
Don't be nervous,
he's not following you.
Who would've thought he was American?
I thought they were all white.
I would've beaten him up
if you didn't butt in.
His English kind of confused me.
It wasn't all that...
- I'm sorry.
- Don't worry. I'm not cut out for this.
No one is.
Change that mug. It doesn't matter.
You're right.
The first one is just a test.
Watch this man working.
Genaro is coming...
It's always hard in the beginning.
They're just looking for pleasure...
To spend a few days with a dark skinned
guy who shows them a good time.
Take a few pictures with their
friends, to impress them...
That's all.
If I've seen you,
I won't remember you.
The ones who fall in love
and take you back with them.
They don't exist anymore.
But one must insist.
And one must survive.
You see.
Let's keep on surviving...
Hold it a minute.
Alright, here we are.
Be careful madam, don't trip.
Sure. Check in.
We're here to serve you.
Is this your luggage?
Fine, I'll take them for you.
Just these?
I'll be right back.
How may I help you?
Well, just bringing some aunts
who'll spend a few days here.
Aren't you playground chicken?
What? I can't have an aunt like that
just because I wear a chicken suit?
Beat it, go.
Help me out here.
If you help me with the American,
I'm made.
They won't see me back home,
just in pictures walking in the snow.
Help me and I'll take care
of you. Help me.
Alright, let me see what I can do.
That's right.
It's all fine, come this way.
This way. That's it, that's it.
Well as I said, best room in
the hotel, with a beach view.
Yes sir. The three best rooms
in the hotel. Mister?
Genaro, and don't call me mister,
just Don Genaro.
The manager, the director.
Now you know.
All you need.
Just call me through him.
Do you believe in destiny?
Maybe not, cause you Americans
are non believers.
But I do.
I'm the man of your dreams.
This beach would be just swamp
if you weren't here.
I'm a castaway drowning
in my desire to have you.
Birds would have a sore throat
if you weren't here with me.
It would be to have all this, in our home,
with our white and black kids, like me.
Playing in the yard
with a Dalmatian.
Black and white,
to match with the kids.
We were born for each other.
We're like Batman and Robin.
Beauty and the beast.
Pinky and the brain.
Ortega and Gasset.
One doesn't make it
that quick my friend.
I didn't think it would so difficult.
This joint is full of horny old ladies...
What do you want?
They got to have fun.
Sure. They parade themselves around
without a care in the world.
I did see a young woman
who just arrived today.
So beautiful and gorgeous,
blue eyed...
So pretty, she knows no Spanish,
but that's okay...
Is she a blonde?
- Straight short hair?
- Yes, straight short hair.
- White?
- White as milk.
- Looks American?
- Yes, if not, then she's close to that.
And walks around with two
women in their forties?
It looks like they're related...
Behind you...
There they are, look at her,
look at her...
I would marry her with my eyes closed.
Open your eyes.
They spend their lives savings
to spend two weeks here.
I can't believe a woman
like comes here broke.
She needs high maintenance.
In her face you could see she never had
sleepless nights, or a day with no food.
She's gotta be richer than me.
Sure, if you put it that way.
What? What are you thinking?
What are you looking at?
- What are you starring at? What's the matter?
- You're my man. Help me.
- What?
- I told them I was the director.
- You got some guts.
- Give it here. I'll bring it right back.
What you mean director?
Come here. Come here.
Hello my lovelies,
this is a beautiful night.
I'll get you a table,
wait right there.
Put down a banana. Scratch
the beer, just the banana...
Daiquiri, no beer...
Put down a Screwdriver,
the beer's out.
Rum, water...
Banana Caribbean, no beer...
Oh my God with ice...
Alright, beer then...
He's coming.
He went to get us the drinks.
Why are you sad?
Let's change that sad face.
Let's look at the stars.
You two wait for the drinks.
You should start drinking.
Here I am, here I am...
Alright, since we can't understand
each other, let's drink at least.
Now you understand.
Let's toast to happiness,
and the American consulate
Asking God to send me a little angel
to get me out poverty.
And to you, so he may send you a dark
skinned stud, who'll show you a good time.
Guys can't you go bother
someone else?
Beat it.
She's deaf and dumb and I'm an evangelical.
She can't hear you. Beat it.
Where did we stop? The kiss,
I mean the desire...
Let's see.
That's it.
Now or never Genaro.
No, my people stop that...
Sorry, sit down; I'll take care of it.
Sorry, it's alright baby... don't worry.
Stop it.
Is this a conspiracy? Who's sending you?
Get out of here!
Don't get like this,
just because I tried to...
Oh my God, what happened? Look...
Which of you three I got to kill,
so you go away?
Beat it.
Things are not that complex.
We're in the global village;
everyone's got a computer baby.
We're happy go lucky people.
Beautiful, young, we've got
our whole life ahead of us.
Sure, yours is more comfortable than mine,
but we're about to take care of that.
If I knew you would get like this,
I wouldn't have tried it.
Sure, you thought you were going
to get poisoned if you gave me a kiss.
Look, I know I'm not good looking...
Don't look at the cover, listen to the CD
and see how much mambo I got inside me.
She's been crying all by herself.
God, stop it. Just give me an American
and I won't bother you again.
- Carlito, telephone.
- What?
- The telephone man.
- What?
- Telephone.
- Oh, the phone.
People! The call
we've been waiting for!
To the count of three.
One, two and three.
Who's this at this hour?
It's you Genaro my brother.
What's doing?
We were asleep. What's up?
How are you?
Here's slow and boring you know.
The old ladies buy their salami
by the slice and then leave.
Everything is fine.
Tell me about you.
You don't say!
How's that possible?
What a pity. You're not
coming here now right?
No, alright. I just wanted to know,
to pick up at the station.
Stay there man.
Resting, like a little vacation.
Don't kid around, that's too far.
No, what if her friend looks
like a toad.
I said so because I know you.
American, if it's like then sure.
She isn't German, alright then.
Is there one for Carlito?
Yes. Alright then.
Is there a three for one special
on American girls or something?
If she's American that's good
enough. No problem.
We'll tidy up the store for
your mom and we'll see you there.
Oh my God.
Get ready. Genaro got us two
American women, and we're out.
Where's Genaro's book? I want
to learn the hello baby.
That's what I'm talking about.
I told him when he was going
there, Genaro, Genaro...
Now what?
Genaro, a couple of Americans?
Genaro goes for anything, I know him.
Listen up. A gift like
that is good enough.
The fact that she's American
is good enough for me.
So pack up your things
and let's go to Genaro!
People, let's party!
This chicken is fried already.
The thing is that we're
organizing the chicken day.
That's it.
The employees then encourage
guests to eat chicken.
Hence, the chicken suit.
Do you like it?
That's the word I couldn't say.
So you like to see me
as a chicken, right?
So I got to keep on organizing
the chicken day.
Don't be surprise if you see
me everyday with this on.
Sure, it's not so hot.
The outfit is cool.
Don't worry; I'll be taking
care of chicken day...
Bye, see at the beach.
What do you want?
Things are improving right?
Not at all. Not at all.
When it's not the guitar trio,
it's a Mengue trio.
- Lf not that then is her aunts.
- But she kissed you.
Sure, that was no kiss.
I kiss my mom like that.
Why don't you ask her
to dinner or a show?
A show, a show.
I'm giving a show right here
instead with this chicken outfit.
Thanks to Giuseppe.
But I'll get him back.
You frighten me when you say that.
Are you afraid of this sweaty chicken?
Take care, let me keep on working.
Listen up worms,
your chicken is here.
No, I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
Henry my man.
What are you doing here?
Oh yeah, you're here for
the concert on Altos de Chavon!
That's great. I won't miss it.
You've grown so much.
I'm Genaro, Doa Fefa's son.
You won't recognize me
with this on... Excuse me.
Don't worry black. Go.
Down faithful, down.
So how the hell are you?
I need a little favor.
What is it you want?
A CD, an autograph?
Don't need a CD, got them all.
It's five in the morning...
You guys sing it so nice...
All I want is the following.
Excuse me a moment.
It's alright.
- I hope we make it.
- Well.
My truck El Tremendo
can't go farther...
Stop the truck. Stop the truck,
this is it. This is it.
- Hold it. Is it here?
- Yes it is.
Now we're talking.
It was about time.
Look how pretty.
- My Tremendo, my truck.
- Hold him.
- Easy.
- Alright. Alright then.
Be still.
About time. Stay right there.
Things are about to get better here.
Park El Tremendo for me.
- Hello.
- Welcome. You must be Genaro's friends.
You mean Don Genaro.
Did you prepare our suites?
- Please.
- Sure, sure.
- Come on, they're waiting for you...
- No welcome drinks?
Genaro, are you sure your
friends are good for this job?
It doesn't look good.
Calm down Giuseppe,
those boys are professionals.
Damn Genaro.
This hotel has so much food.
- What did you put on your plate?
- Mashed plantains.
Mashed plantains?
Mashed plantains?
Look at this,
a plantain eating a plantain.
You dumb ass. You come
so far to eat that?
I don't care for cornflakes.
Get used to it.
Mashed plantains.
You got balls.
Genaro. Talk to me about the girl.
Which one?
The American?
Tell me about her, tell me.
What should I tell you?
You know how they look.
- They're blonde?
- So they got golden hair?
- Sure, and they speak English.
- And they know English.
And they got a killer body.
Sure, that they got, a killer body.
Talk to me. I like women
with that kind of body.
You know, the metabolism
of Americans is different.
They lose their figure
with a couple of extra pounds.
I mean from far you see
they look kind of fat.
And up close you don't even notice.
Wait a minute, how's that?
Explain that to me.
You know Americans
and their eating habits.
- They eat anything and...
- Stop, I got you now.
- Carlito.
- Yes?
Drop the mashed.
Something's fishy here.
The table is busy,
go somewhere else...
They're deaf. They can't hear.
Listen, don't sit down...
They can't hear.
Listen, we're waiting
for beautiful women here.
We're waiting for three American women.
What are you trying to say?
These are the Americans
I told you about.
This group?
- All of them?
- All three?
I got you now.
Mr. Genaro,
come with me to the buffet.
I don't want anymore food.
I'm fine here.
Mr. Genaro, get up.
Would you want a little fruit
or some grease?
Come here, come here.
Are you nuts?
Where did you get the fat one
and the old lady?
Calm down, it's not so bad.
- Look at the young one, she's cute.
- I know she's cute.
- Yes, I like her. What's her name?
- Martha.
- Martha, I like her.
- Me too. She's mine.
Yours? What about the other two?
Those I need a hand with. Her aunts.
Her aunts?
If those are her aunts, they take
the place of the whole family.
No way. If Carlito wants to stay...
Look at that pig the way he eats.
Sure, it's free food.
Free food, and look at him.
He likes the fat one.
I knew it right away.
No. I'm going back to the capital.
My reputation would be shattered
if anybody saw me.
- Calm down.
- You see him?
It's just coincidence,
who's gonna recognize you here?
- It isn't. I'm going back.
- Wait, this is the deal.
Help me out and I'll forgive
your salami debt.
And the three grand?
- Don't take advantage.
- I'm going back.
Alright, alright, the three grand.
The three grand?
Done deal.
You know what though.
Don't do this again, alright?
- You don't do that to nobody.
- Relax, change that face. To the table.
Here we are my little angels.
Sure they're a pain in the ass.
I grew up with them.
- I'm out of here.
- No wait, there's enough for us three.
They will show around,
show you a good time.
If you want, we'll show them
how to float on the beach.
Then we can practice with Juana.
- Who's Juana?
- You brought her over?
Sure, you pay in dollars here.
What if something goes wrong?
- Do you need her?
- Are you nuts?
Lend it to me, I'll use it.
Well, well, as I said, go for a stroll.
For a stroll, and my boys will
make sure you have a good time.
While I take a walk with little Martha.
Alright. You show her how to float,
and I'll show her coconut trees.
Coconut trees!
No coconut trees for the
Americans. No trees.
Have a good time alright.
Coconut tree blondie, well you
go in and... I'll explain later.
I'm using the restroom.
Hold it. This is in couples.
American girl. We're finally alone.
Without guitar trios,
Merengue trios or your aunts...
I mean they're cool.
But one needs time to have a talk.
So, you, the flowers and I.
And you're the most beautiful one.
Hold on. We got to celebrate.
Let's party.
Look at this.
We have fun with little things.
Your aunts must be having
a great time with my boys.
I forgot you can't understand me.
My mom was right, she said
don't drop English, don't.
How about you? Are you having
a good time? I mean...
How nice that sounds.
You only hear that in adult
films, yes, yes...
Don't tell me. That means thank you.
See. I knew I would learn some day.
English is a piece of cake.
I mean what...
Because I feel very happy.
My little American now
knows Spanish and all.
I'm responsible for it.
Let's not stop.
We're gonna dance the night away.
- Discotheque?
- Sure, to shake it like a papaya smoothie...
Dancing, move our hips.
- To party.
- We'll party till fifteen in the morning.
Oh my! I'm in the big apple already.
- Listen.
- What?
Isn't enough with what I did today
with the old one? My debt is paid.
Let me go back home.
No way. I took the first step.
Victory is mine.
And more so now that there was a kiss.
- What?
- What?
You heard right.
The American girl kissed me.
Oh my God!
Damn she got balls.
What guts.
What are you insinuating.
Nothing... Brat Pitt.
Nothing, you are the...
Look. Speaking of the devil.
There's big cojones Martha,
the crazy old lady and Carlito's truck.
That's what I'm talking about! Girls!
Talking about what?
Why can't I bump into a friend...
so I can borrow some dough
and pay Genaro back his money?
I wish to bump into a neighborhood
friend with money!
I love that record!
Let go of me.
I'm leaving the hotel.
Let go of me.
- She wants to...
- What happened?
- The old one wanted to poison me.
- What?
Yes, she kissed me.
I thought you saw that? She did.
Out of my way,
must go to the toilet.
- You're exaggerating, yes you are.
- I'm not, you are.
One thing is that you bring me
here to help you out,
and another is that you
humiliate me so bad.
Keep your New York pipe dreams,
I'm going back home.
To be honest with you...
Shut up!
Do you think I'm blind?
You're having a ball.
Carlito, you like the hippo,
I see it in your eyes.
Your capable of eating an elephant
two dinosaurs and still be hungry.
Not me. I going back home,
I can't stomach even one aunt.
Not even half an aunt.
Guys, we grew up together,
we're like blood brothers.
This is serious.
It's about my future and my family's.
If it depends on that lame American...
American, you hear me...
I sweet talked her as expected,
if then she falls for me...
You got no other choice,
or pay me back with tax and interest.
Well put.
Shut your mouth, you ass kisser!
- But Genaro...
- No ifs and buts, I'm sacrificing too.
Did you hear him?
I'm the one sacrificing here.
Hold it, wait. I was forgetting.
They better have a great time.
Because if they don't
and you mess up my future...
I would do this to you...
...make sure they have a great time...
What about me? Don't I have
the right to a good time?
- Let me tell you something.
- What?
I'll be outside.
Beat it. You coward, traitor,
I brought you here...
I can't believe this,
I can't believe this my God!
Instead of dealing with that hag...
I rather get down and dirty
with anything in this planet.
Guys, wait up!
There's no one there.
What was that?
- What, what?
- You let one go. You dirty bastard.
What else you want,
we've been in here a half hour.
Guard, guard.
- Hi there sister.
- Hello commando.
I can't take this anymore.
I thought she wanted to kill me,
but it's you instead.
- What's the matter guys?
- None. Look I'm pretty.
This is serious.
I'll beat you down if you leave.
- You're all macho now.
- Let's go.
This is the moment of truth.
Separate the men from the boys.
Don't ask what your country can do for you,
ask what you can do for your country.
Let's all march as one man.
Let's go Carlito, Chelo. Walk tall.
Victory is ours partners.
I knew it, bunch of traitors.
But history will take care of them.
Great mattress ha?
Must be imported.
It even plays music.
Americans are so smart.
Tonight will be intense.
No wait. Let me go.
Let me go, you fierce animal.
No, no, no.
Let me take a breather.
Let me take a breather.
What do you think I am?
Just because you watched Robocop,
you think we're made of steel?
I'm human, I'm human.
Fight someone your own size.
Let me get at least sip of water.
You mean, you're just getting
warmed up? Oh my!
No rum. That'll just re-energize you.
Move over.
Oh my, I need my dictionary.
You respect that part of a man.
Move over. Let's nap.
Gringa, don't make wood
of a fallen tree.
Well, she doesn't get it.
My love.
My heart, my queen.
My visa, I mean my life...
I talked to mom; we're off
to the capital.
Pull over, stop the car!
Listen up. Drop me at the corner let
me off. I don't want to be seen.
Wait a minute. What is that?
Who came up with that?
Go back, go back.
Americans girls,
this is my neighborhood.
Welcome to my country.
Don't worry.
I'll get you back for this.
The flight has landed.
My son.
Where's the woman that's got
you going crazy?
- Is that her?
- Yes, it's her.
No, she is Chelo's girl.
- Here is mine.
- Now you ruined it.
How pretty...
If plan be part of this family,
you have my blessings.
Talk American! Speech, speech...
Time out!
She said hi.
Come so you could me my family.
Come my daughter, come with me.
- Damn Chelo, you got balls.
- What are you saying?
Let go of me Carlito.
She's aunt Antonia.
- Maria the tailor's wife.
- Nice to meet you.
- He is the tailor.
- My pleasure.
She's Orquidea.
She's Genaro's Godmother, my comadre.
She's a bit deaf.
Comadre, she's my American daughter
in law, Genaro's girl.
- My daughter in law.
- Sorry. We've got go back to Chavon...
You're not eating?
I think we really
overdid it this time.
- Don't worry.
- Please don't go...
- We'll be back before our trip.
- Go with God.
Let's brake out.
Get your balloon and let's go.
Listen up Genaro,
she's very pretty.
But if you will be unhappy
with her, let her leave.
Mom! Alright... My blessings.
My God bless you.
Stop, don't push me.
Let's go, let's go...
Wake up. I'm tired of this
entire charade. Let's go.
If anyone wants soup,
just say so.
Guys, we're off to Chavn!
Alright, alright...
Ladies and gentlemen. I would like to
dedicate this concert to a friend of ours.
A friend who grew up with us
in the neighborhood.
And his name is...
Genaro, this is for you, alright.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Henry, my brother!
Let him through...
This girl is dying to know you.
Caramba, you thought we weren't
going to make it? Here we are.
Who's this blonde?
She's my girl,
future mother of my kids.
I told her we're pals
and she wants an autograph.
On her back. No humps there and
your writing will come out fine.
I can't trust you guys with her.
We won't take more of your time.
We have to go, remember...
When you come back, bring me those
sneakers with lights on them,
say hi to the boys,
and take good care.
What? Problems?
Country? That means abroad!
Let me see if I understand.
You and I go abroad?
You know I haven't settled
my business with nobody.
The store, my friends, my mom.
No problem. No problem.
Take a shower while I eat.
Oh my! I'm going abroad.
Look at this. A guy like me,
continental breakfast and all.
I would kill anyone who
mentions my neighborhood.
May speak to the director please?
Sure, make fun of me.
Make fun. I don't care,
I'm leaving this country.
No, you listen. I'm tired of power outages,
the MTA, politicians, including the cardinal...
I'm tired of our penal code,
the potholes in the street,
mashed plantains,
cheap sandwiches, flour fritters...
...pork skin, the subway,
no I didn't mean the subway,
cause where I'm going there's one.
But I'm tired of the Dengue, of everyone,
I'm tired of the board of elections...
- What? What do you want?
- Genaro, her boyfriend is here.
Who's boyfriend?
Her boyfriend, a tall, strong, blonde
guy asking about his girlfriend Martha.
Asking for Martha?
You must have many Marthas
in the hotel.
And her aunts Dorothy and Helen.
He means my girl.
- Are you sure?
- He must be getting there.
Oh, no.
Room service. How are you?
Is everything alright?
We're here to serve you.
What a nice breakfast.
Original Neiba grapes. Remember
we could change whatever you like.
The curtains, the pictures,
the lamp, the TV...
Remember we got cable TV,
national and international reception,
including La Mona Channel.
We're just interested in your
comfort in this country.
So you sir, take care of your
prostate through regular check ups.
And you miss eight glasses of water a day
to keep your youthful appearance...
Open up Chelo.
Open up.
Quiet down Genaro,
we're trying to sleep guy.
Open up, I'll explain inside.
I'm in deep shit and you disappear.
What hole do you crawl into?
I'm here resting. It's my only downtime,
my sleep time. And you come over...
It's not what you're thinking.
I'm just paying you back
the salami, period.
Alright. Let's go, we got
to get out of here...
Why now? Why?
Let go of me Genaro!
First you want, now you don't.
I don't get you.
You're just a party pooper,
I'm going back.
I know what I'm saying Chelo,
come on. Look out!
Keep an eye out for him.
Chelo keep an eye on the door.
They're all sick.
I told you this one had good appetite.
Check the door. Put on your
clothes, we got problems.
You do. I'm fine here.
Look, we got problems period.
What's up?
The consul just arrived
to stamp his passport.
- Stop playing!
- Who arrived?
Her boyfriend wants to kill me.
Get dressed, bring Juana
and let's talk to Giuseppe.
You see, his in trouble.
- What's this?
- I'll tell you later, let's go.
This is getting better.
My skinny one, I'll be back.
Something's brewing Gernaro.
- And he won't like the taste.
- Stop playing guys.
You my man, get Giuseppe wherever
he's at, cause big trouble is coming.
For Gods sake Chelo!
Wait. Save your energy to fight
the Gringo. He man.
Are you guys nuts? You want me
to get Giuseppe in trouble?
- Who?
- Of course it's him. He's the manager.
To get Giuseppe in trouble,
you can forget it.
Wait up... wait up! Come here.
You can't do this to me.
Don't let me down.
Excuse me, have you met Juana?
Clam down. Let's talk this out.
Talk what out? The Gringo
doesn't speak Spanish Genaro.
What's with this get up?
You're doing well with the Americans?
Not really.
Fabulous, wonderful... tell him
how great you're doing Genaro.
So tell me.
You know I dress as a chicken,
so I started rapping to her.
And an American chicken has just arrived.
Well, she came with her aunts from abroad...
And then came another rooster.
- Yeah, but a fighting Cock.
- Enough of you.
Oh, he killed me. He killed me.
Genaro, the Gringo hits hard.
Don't worry Giuseppe.
I'll fix this.
Hey you! You white trash Gringo,
come hit me. I'm naked.
That's how you like it.
Your cornflake eating Gringos
are just hollow.
I got Dominican fiber right here.
Come here, come here...
Stop it Genaro. Don't make
things worst please.
She dumped you for this black stud.
What is the I have that you don't?
- Let me get something to wipe the blood off.
- His blood right?
- Are you with him or with me?
- With you. Just go on...
Don't hold me back, don't...
- Nobody is.
- Shut up, it's not your fight.
Come on. Just try something.
I'll do to you what Tyson
did to Hollyfield.
What pizza are you talking about?
What are you saying to me?
Throw a punch if you're brave enough.
You'll fight an old tiger.
- I know you...
- He threw a punch?
No he didn't.
Get me a translator please.
- Bet you she stays with the Gringo.
- My money is on Genaro.
Let's bet a Dominican salami
and three grand.
Well, even I want to learn
English now.
Well Genaro.
Let's go back home.
- Give me a shot of rum.
- It's almost midnight.
Only one and I leave.
I imagine today hasn't been great?
You always appear as if by magic.
I got experience in these things.
At least here we're all equal.
With different stories...
You know what?
The first time I laid eyes on you...
I knew you would have
a hard time doing this job.
Stop, I'm not in the mood
for sermons.
You take things too seriously.
The worst that can happen,
you go home empty handed.
Unlike us.
We've been leaving our reputation
behind with each date.
Where can we go?
He came looking
the same thing you did.
But he fell in love with music.
Just that you...
You drown your sorrows
in that glass of rum.
And he strangles his with
his guitar strings.
Bartender, check please.
I got this.
This drink is on me.
Don't say a thing. Don't.
Don't talk your cheap talk please.
Thank you... but...
You at least tried to smack him back.
You would've done the same for me.
Hold on.
I did.
The smack was for you.
You know the trouble I was in.
It wasn't my intention.
It's alright. Forget it.
How's the never-ending
story ending? Tell me.
The American with her Gringo,
and Genaro...
Excuse me Giuseppe.
- Genaro come here.
- What did you do? What's up?
- Nothing.
- We're actually splitting.
Let me tell Giuseppe
and we'll leave together.
We're not going back
to the neighborhood.
So you won't...
Instead, we are leaving
with her aunts.
I thought you two didn't...
My boy here talked to me...
And realized that when you
get a gift horse...
When someone gives you a horse,
teeth and all,
the animal is yours,
papers and everything...
Then, a gift horse...
so that means it is yours...
if they gave it to you...
you do whatever you want... so...
What this bloke is saying is
that it isn't important
to eat fine foods, what matter
is to get your belly full.
Sure, but with a horse...
And if the Americans likes
as much as they say,
as I learned from the master,
I sacrifice myself...
- Right?
- Of course.
Besides, this are rough times my boy.
For that woman,
I'll even dump Juana. Look.
Just so you know.
We're their last flight out,
if they don't catch us,
worse for them.
I just said that to rime.
I got mine all infatuated.
Besides, where are those going
to get two studs like us?
- There they go...
- She's daddy's girl...
Genaro! We'll be seeing you.
Don't erase my account
at the store.
I'll pay you back in dollars,
including interest.
What's your shoe size? I'll send
you sneakers with lights.
There's always electric
power abroad...
There are no small generators.
Let's go.
Yes check...
I'll help you with the check out.
Help this American out,
she's leaving.
Look at that.
How much can a man take?
My life is worthless.
I told you.
- They just want to have fun.
- I know, I know, you're right.
Come on, cheer up.
You'll meet another one.
Another what? A fake one like her?
You know something...
Yes, I know, I got to be a chicken
and entertain those crazy kids.
Thanks to Giuseppe.
It's not that...
What do you mean? I should
go back home, to my store.
No way.
Chelo and Carlito got theirs,
and I'm stuck here?
The check out is fishy.
My friends will come back wearing gold
chains and sneakers with lights on them.
What do you mean?
It's not hers. It's for her
aunts and her boyfriend.
So then what?
She wants to stay?
I suppose so.
No, listen up.
Go back. Go back
with your pale Gringo.
I'm not a toy.
Now you run back to me right?
After I showed you around,
I almost drowned at the beach,
took you home, and introduced
you to my beloved mom...
Now you want to stay with me.
No way.
Get me her papers, she's leaving.
I'm staying. I got work to do.
I'm staying. As far as women go,
look, this is a woman.
She's made in the
Dominican Republic.
I'm staying, yes take her away.
You're white and understand
each other. Go away.
You were right.
Always in search of dream and
I'm better off staying here.
I rather dress as a chicken than
go suffer in the big apple.
Around here we just have to work.
And try to get a woman like
you to fall in love with me.
You would have to change
lots of things.
Probably not that many, it may
be easier than learning English.
Besides, you would also
have to change some things.
Wait, who do you think you are?
You want to play hard to get now?
Let's go to the pool, have
a fruit punch and talk about it.
You mean fruit punch.
Same thing.
Come on, let's go.
Did you know I'm from Los Praditos?
Wait until mom sees you.
She always said,
get one your own color.
- Hey, Genaro!
- It's nothing.
Wait, what's your name?
Such an ugly name?