Six-String Samurai (1998) Movie Script

You're listening to K-LOST,
home of the apocalypse.
The call-in question of the day
is "Who will be the new King?"
I'm sending in an ICBM
across the wasteland
for all of you
on the yellow brick road to Vegas
looking for a hero.
If you find one,
send him my way, baby !
Float away, little butterfly,
just flutter away...
I got a gig in Vegas.
And the wastelands
ain't no place for kids !
He's still there...
Cross that line, kid,
I'll cut your little
teddy bear in half !
Last kid that crossed that line,
I had to summon up the Spinach
Monster with my rock'n'roll magic.
Spinach monster grabbed him,
pulled him underground,
made him eat spinach all day.
Rumour has it, kid...
He's still there...
Alright boys,
we kill him now or later ?
- Kill him now...
- Later ?
No, we'd better wait till he's drunk...
Nice shoes...
Don't touch my guitar, man.
Don't even touch it.
Hollow body six-string...
1957 !
A good year...
See those cats over there ?
Those cats are King material...
going all the way to Vegas !
The only one going
to Vegas around here is me.
I know your type, buddy...
You ain't going to Vegas !
Where you go,
Death follows
like a blown out '52 Plymouth !
Top Hat's put a big price
on that guitar, buddy !
But maybe you give it to us...
We forget we ever saw you...
Come on guys,
pulling night isn't till Tuesday...
Who are you foolin' ?
Maybe you were good once...
What are you looking at ?
But now, everybody knows
you're just a washed up rocker,
who can't tell a six-string
from a shot glass.
You're probably
not even worth killing...
but maybe we kill you anyway !
Nice tuxedo...
Nice tuxedo to die in !
Nobody messes with the Pinpals and
gets away with it ! Nobody !
Yeah... nobody !
Pick up the spare...
Should've waited
till I was drunk, Gutterball.
I don't think he's drunk yet...
Nice car...
Tag !
You're it !
You gotta be kidding ?
Well ? What are you waiting for ?
Damn !
Guess it's not my day...
You're it !
Beware the Spinach Monster.
See you in hell, boy !
It was him !
He was here...
They were my best bowlers.
The one with the four eyes
will be hard to defeat.
What's the matter, comrade Death ?
I asked you
to kill one simple guitarist,
and what do I get ?
Dead bald guys...
You four have failed me for the last -
Nice shoes...
Another caller, can you dig it ?
We're rockin'n'rollin
ourselves to death !
Yeah, Werewolf ? I just saw death
and he's looking for your number !
Well you just tell
that dark ugly dude
that my number is
555-Unlisted, baby !
Not bad...
Thanks for the ride, kid !
Here we go, you're on
the air with the Werewolf
the topic is...
Who will be
the next king of rock'n'roll ?
Here's one for all
the hopeless romantics,
abandoned and broken hearted
choking up
that highway to love, baby !
Listen up, baby,
for a word from our sponsors
Are you a busy rock warrior ?
Are you constantly plagued
by small annoying animals on the path?
Call us to round up all your stray cats,
dogs and other furry creatures...
Can you dig it?
Sounds like we need a ratchet,
stray cat.
Fire !
Why, Arriette !
Look who's come to dinner !
Why, it's Wally Fishbinder
and his little boy Jed...
How the hell are you boy ?
So I suppose you don't have
a ratchet in that bag, right ?
How the hell are you boy ?
You've finished paying off
that new Plymouth of yours ?
I tell ya,
I sure hope to hell you didn't
go to one of those boys on the lot !
They see you coming
a mile away,
ready to eat you alive !
Those Plymouth dealers will
tell you they're cutting you a break,
when all they're doing is just
fattening you up for the slaughter !
All little Rusty can talk about
is riding in the
Fishbinder's new Studebaker!
Oh my, Jeddy, you're just
a little weed is what you are !
You just get plumper
every time we see you !
Come up here sweetie !
You ever try a pink golf ball Wally ?
Why, the wind shear
alone on a pink golf ball
can take the head
clean off a 90 lb midget
at over 300 yards...
So, you don't have a ratchet.
Can I get you anything ?
Some coffee ?
Would you like some candy ?
Here would you like some candy ?
Can I get you anything at all ?
Here, have some candy !
Don't you think
this is a nice family, kid ?
Look, they're a little strange but
they're better than what's outside...
Rusty's been looking for a new
third base man ! You play, Jedd ?
Have some candy...
Here you are !
It'll put some meat
on your bones, slugger!
- Bye Bye !
- Bye Bye...
He looks nice and marinated, dear...
Slice me off a thigh, honey bunch !
Windmill People !
I hate those guys...
Phooey ! No breakfast again...
Aha! Ratchet...
Nice kitty...
Hurry daddy, the wind's picking up !
Hurry daddy, they're getting closer !
Hurry home Jedd,
or you'll be late for school !
Watch your back buddy,
there's a storm coming in !
What are you looking at ?
You look up at the sky,
you look down at the ground,
but you don't look
at me, kid ! Got it ?
And don't think this means we're
still together kid, cause we're not...
..tell me about the new King!
This is Death...
Hello ?
I'd like to make
a dedication, please ?
Yeah, yeah, go ahead baby,
you're connected with the Wolf !
To all the rock'n'rollers out there
whose guitar picks shall litter my
path to Vegas to claim my throne...
Soon, Vegas will be destroyed...
and a new song of darkness
will fill the airwaves !
Hello ?
Yeah, let me blag this one out
for the duke of the dark side:
Watch out all you rock and roll mortals,
Death is on the line !
You got me trembling baby !
Dropped something ?
Wonder where I could trade
the kid for a ratchet...
What ?
What !?
What, kid !?
Listen up callers, if you're still
out there on the road to Vegas,
you better get your butt
in gear before it disappears,
cause Vegas is still
looking for the King !
Well good luck, baby,
cause you're gonna need it !
If you're not fully stocked
on your guitar strings,
ratchets and other valuable things,
take a ride out down
to little man's warehouse...
He's got everything from
plutonium to toilet water...
Located in the town of
Fallout, 200 miles from Vegas.
Arrival !
New arrival !
Got a ratchet, little man ?
Ain't no more
ratchets here, homie...
Only paradise,
you got a problem ?
I don't want to rub
with you, little man.
I just want to drink off that nasty ass
toilet water you're trying to sell...
Man, you didn't come out here
for toilet water...
Good point...
How are you with kids ?
Terrible !
Great, you're hired !
Now, where can I get a real drink ?
Follow the yellow brick road, homie !
See you around, kid...
I got a gig in Vegas !
Do you think it'll be better in Vegas ?
All the same,
wherever you go,
it'll always be the same...
So, heard everybody's
after that guitar of yours...
What's it worth these days ?
Free in a box of Crackerjacks?
Prom tickets ?
A trip to Disneyland ?
A hundred bucks ?
You know, we don't get too
many new guys around here...
A lot of King wannabees,
on their way to Vegas...
Of course, not you.
You're The King, yeah !
Exit ? Stage... left.
- Do you know who I am ?
- No.
Buddy... Death...
Well, what do you know ? It talks.
Wait a minute.
What's the rush ?
Let's savour
this rare moment, kid.
Hey, four eyes !
They say you can kill 200 men
and play a mean six-string
at the same time.
Is that really true ?
Hey, I'm talking to you, old man !
What's the matter ?
You scared ?
You don't wanna be like me, kid...
Go home, start a family,
get a picket fence.
And get a real guitar !
Stop playing around !
Now I know how to
defeat the four eyed one...
His heart is his weakness.
The boy...
The boy makes him very uncool...
Do you like the beach, kid ?
Build sandcastles...
go surfing...
get a tan...
I used to love the beach
when I was a kid.
If you see any sea shells,
kid, let me know !
What's a beach !?
How much... further...?
Hey ! Four eyes !
I don't have a family...
This is it !
Hey ! Turn around !
You're a coward !
I gotta get a new gig.
Let somebody else be king.
You can still be a good king.
The '56 Chevy Bel Air can kick
a '47 Buick Roadmaster's ass any day,
at least on the
first quarter mile that is...
You come all this
way without saying squat,
and now you're
trying to tell me a '56 Chevy
can beat a '47 Buick
in a dead quarter mile ?
I liked you better when
you weren't saying squat, kid.
Go to bed.
What ?
I'm afraid of
that Spinach Monster thing.
Hollow body, six-string...
I know that sound.
Good shooting, boys.
Who are you ?
Cool... you here for me ?
You and every other rock'n'roller
out to claim my throne.
Give me the guitar
and Ill let the child go.
I hope you guys can play...
Stop him !
Spinach monster !
Hit it !
Plenty of others left to kill...
Another one for the Arena...
Welcome to hell, boy !
Tag !
You're it !
How do you like hell ?
Loser !
I hate kids !
I really hate kids.
Put 'em up !
Loser !
Who do you think
you are, a windmill ?
Just clock the creep.
Get up !
Hit me !
I dare you to hit me !
Come on !
You are the victor!
You have been chosen
by the windmill god !
And now you will
be sacrificed to him !
If I were you, I'd run...
If you were me,
you'd be good looking.
That's not nice... Get him !
Oh goody, another sacrifice!
Bow down before the
great and powerful windmill god.
What, you're expecting
someone bigger ?
Hurry it up, I'm hungry.
Yes oh mighty windmill god!
Bring in the other one,
I'm still hungry!
Well I'll be...
Looks like I'm gonna
make my gig in Vegas after all !
Caller 22, you're on the air
with the Werewolf.
Hey, Wolfie ! I can't
believe I got through !
I never call these shows.
Well you only have to get
picked by the Wolf once, baby,
then you're hooked for life !
Yesterday, I was out cruising,
these ruskie cats stopped
my ride, and asked to see my papers,
and made me sing
the ruskie national anthem !
By the way,
I think the King should--
Yah baby, this one's going
out to all you freedom fighters
holding back the red plague on the
rock'n'roller's frontline to Vegas !
Keep the faith, baby,
we're waiting for The King.
Don't let us down, you King !
Here we go again !
I'll handle this.
How much further to Vegas, comrade ?
No one goes to
Lost Vegas without papers.
No one, four eyes !
Comrads !
So this isn't going to be
as easy as I thought.
We'd skin you alive
for a six-pack, Americanski.
This is my road,
you are in Soviet territory
No one goes through. No one !
You're screwed, Buddy ol'pal.
The war is over, baby.
It's been over for years.
I'm the new
rock'n'roll king of Vegas.
So all you commies, step aside.
I do not like rock'n'roll music !
It is too loud.
I like folk music.
Soft, nice music, uh ?
Polka ?
What ? Anything !
I don't do polka, baby.
No one rock'n'roll in Lost Vegas !
Papers, no papers.
Understand ? No one !
Come on!
Float away, little butterfly,
just flutter away...
Don't go...
If you scratch my guitar,
I'll kill you !
Don't go !
This isn't going to
be as easy as I thought.
Why don't he just shoot him ?
We haven't had bullets since '57 !
Tiger claw !
Tiger claw ! Go, go !
Kid ?
Kid ?
Kid ?
Buddy !
Buddy ?
- It was him...
- It was him !
He was here...
Only one man could kill
this many Russians...
Bring his guitar to me...
This time, no mistakes,
or it'll be your heads !
Hit it !
He's really pissed off !
Pissed off...
Don't let the four eyes
reach Vegas alive !
Congratulations, kid...
We made it !
Vegas !
Freeze, sucker !
Surrender the sword,
and hand over the guitar
or the kid gets it !
- Get him...
- Yeah, get it !
You have an appointment with Death !
Four eyes...
Keep going, kid !
you've been the only one
to escape my grasp...
I heard you were
an excellent player,
but you are much too naive...
You surrender too easily...
Relinquish what is mine.
Looking for this ?
Take it ! It's yours...
You disappoint me...
I only take what's valuable to you.
You can't have him !
Oh, really ?
Then perhaps if you
won't play for yourself,
you will play for the boy's soul !
Enough !
Stick him, boys...
It stopped...
They're coming !
I've got an appointment with Death !
Admit it !
You are weak
and you've been defeated.
Bend before the ways
of Heavy Metal !
You were the last...
Soon Vegas will be all mine !
Leave him alone !
Is that blood ?
Stupid child !
Stay back !
What are you doing ?!
He killed Top Hat !
- Top Hat ?
- Nobody kills Top Hat !
You've killed Death !
- Killed him...
- Yeah...
If you ever need a band...
Call us...
- with help from muonthebarman -