Stay Hungry (1976) Movie Script
My dear Craig...
it has been five months
since your father...
and my beloved sister...
died.
Surely,
there is no time limit...
on grief...
and sorrow.
I know you have expressed
misgivings...
about the steel business...
but perhaps
this is the time...
to seek the comforts
of your tradition.
You are young
and particularly vulnerable...
now that your parents are dead.
Come work with me.
I have heard you are involved...
in some real estate venture.
Is this the time to divorce
yourself from family?
To take up
with unsavory strangers?
You are, after all, a Blake.
Please...
Iet me hear from you.
Fondest regards...
Uncle Albert.
I'll bet you 50
I can beat you to the meeting.
Double it for 100.
We don't want to keep
that Blake boy waiting.
I'm in.
We jumping reds, Jabo?
I see a piece of pelt
I'd like to jump over here.
If I'm lying, I'm dying.
Look out, y'all,
I'm hot as fire...
and I'm burning up Birmingham.
You're standing still,
chub-chub.
Blink once,
you're gonna miss me.
Now, boys, well,
you can read 'em and weep...
'cause the Hueytown Flash
has arrived.
Well, we're nearly home then.
Two more pieces of property...
we have the whole block
sewed up.
What'd you finally get
that tailor down to, Walter Jr.?
$35,000 on a refinance.
Like talking to a mule,
that old man...
but he come to see the light.
That's fine as wine.
How you coming, Hal?
Still working on it.
Now, Craig,
this last piece of property...
Iooks like
you'll have to buy it..
since you the only one left
without his name on some paper.
Like you say,
I'll just go on over yonder...
and make that boy an offer
right down around his ankles.
Yeah, you do that, boy...
and if he don't buy it...
you move up around his knees.
Shit. We don't need
to tell you nothing.
You'll charm that dude blind.
Isn't that right, fellas?
Gimme ten, Mr. Blake.
They made enough on that
Pell City deal to buy Alabama.
We're lucky
they let us in on this thing.
Lucky?
They're the lucky ones.
Now, look.
Just keep it simple.
Just go down and buy the place.
The corporation buys it back,
and we own the block.
We build the biggest
office high-rise in the city.
I know how it works.
My great grandfather
built this town...
by eating guys like that
for breakfast.
Wasn't this your father's car?
Yeah. I figured
it needed a little air.
Are you sure
you're OK up there alone?
Yeah, I'm sure.
I'll see you
at the club on Saturday.
I got the court for 10:00.
Good. See you there.
You'd better put your top up.
Welcome to the Olympic.
I'm Mary Tate Farnsworth,
and--
Honey, I don't think you should
hang upside down anymore.
Welcome to the Olympic.
I'm Mary Tate--
Actually,
I'm just here to look around.
Well, just take them steps.
Thank you.
You a businessman?
You got it.
- Hiya. I'm Franklin Coates.
- Craig Blake.
- Show you around the place?
- Sure.
Mr. Walker, keep leaning
on that barrel there.
Just ease back on it.
That's my man.
Right this way.
Now, this is the studio.
Over here,
we got massage and rays.
Hey, Newton.
This way.
This pool is kept at 110 degrees
at all times.
It's got herbs in it.
Kills crabs, does it?
Huh?
Oh, yeah.
Gain, reduce, or tone.
See, we're supposed
to put you on a program.
Is the guy on the sign
on a program?
Joe Santo?
Mr. Austria?
You can bet your ass
he don't need no program.
Well, neither do l.
What time did--
Excuse me, Mister...
- Blake.
- Thor Erikson.
- How you do, Mr. Erikson?
- Just call me Thor.
There's some
builders and lifters...
who work out at
6:00 to 8:00 at night.
That's what I was
trying to tell him, Thor.
I was explaining--
Mr. Erikson--
That's their time, now.
They're not your kind of folks.
Them boys are rough as a cob.
What line are you in, Mister...
Blake. I'm a businessman.
A man of decision. Real estate.
Relax there.
Get the most for the least.
Know what I mean?
You look in pretty good shape.
I was taking a little look
at your place here and...
I might could get excited
about something like this.
How much do you want for it?
Turn around.
Dear Uncle Albert, I recognize
that I am involved...
with unorthodox business people.
As you advised,
I am proceeding cautiously.
Business causes tension.
But as you would expect...
confidently.
Sincerely, Craig.
Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey.
You hold it right there.
- Right there on that spot.
- Hey, it's all right.
He was up here
a couple of days ago...
and Thor says it's OK.
Did you eat yet?
I had a little lunch.
What you trying to say?
Thor didn't tell me
nothing about it.
Well, he told me.
It's better if you don't have
nothing on your stomach.
Good.
Better not be no spy, say l!
Better not be no spy!
Better not be no spy, I say!
Newton, please.
What's this contest?
Mr. Universe next month.
Thor's been
saving Joe up for it.
He don't want
the wrong people seeing him...
or wouldn't nobody enter.
Are you his trainer?
I'm his grease man.
Oil him up before exhibition.
Oh. Well...
You call lifting them
itty-bitty things working out?
I think the man is doing fine,
just fine.
I've been watching him now
for a while...
and he's really moving big.
He moves like
he used to play hockey.
Hey, Franklin, ask him
if he used to play hockey.
You play hockey?
Tell Batman it was lacrosse...
but I can see
how he got confused.
Joe, you gonna be long?
Mary Tate and Anita
are over at the club...
so why don't
you all go ahead and...
I'll catch up with you later.
Listen, they got
a pool table over there.
You play?
- Where's Joe at?
- Still pumping iron.
Too bad. The band wanted him
to sit in on a set tonight.
Let's don't have any trouble
out of you, huh?
- Don't sweat it, Hayes.
- Don't get on nobody.
See?
What else does this Santo guy do
besides lift weights?
There ain't nothing
Joe don't do.
Man bowls 200...
was near about
an Olympic swimmer...
and before he come here
from Austria...
he was world champion
of curling.
You...
You know what that is?
He's quite a guy, isn't he?
Damn straight.
Corner.
Let me tell you
something, buddy.
When Joe takes
that title next month...
He's...
He's going to have done it all.
You got a hot stick, my man.
Very hot.
Rack 'em up.
Let's hear it for the band!
Anita, now she comes
from Chicago.
Don't flash those greenbacks.
Excuse us.
She teaches down
at the gym twice a week.
What she teach?
Excuse me, Romeo.
Karate. Black belt.
I'm gonna say hello
to my friend over here.
All right.
I'll see you back at the table.
- Hey, hey, buddy!
- Sorry.
What are y'all?
I mean,
y'all are pretty big dudes.
You play football or what?
Yeah. We play for Auburn.
What do you play?
Scatback.
I figured you played
something like that.
What's your name?
Blake. Buck Blake.
Yeah. Thanks, Blake.
"War eagle" now, you hear?
I hear you.
Don't get nervous.
Joe wouldn't care.
You know something?
You look like a swamp.
I've been meaning
to tell you that.
- I look like a what?
- A swamp.
With all that blond hair
and eyes and stuff.
I really like
the way you look...
except for that.
What is that?
Looks like
a little baby squirrel's tail.
Watch out.
Don't get no poop on you, now.
Then last month,
I was in Cozumel for sailfish...
and September,
a bunch of us guys...
get together,
go down to Mexico...
and shoot white-wing dove.
I personally can't see that,
shooting birds.
It's cheaper than shooting craps
and better than shooting people.
I can't see shooting doves.
My dentist had this freezer
filled with doves.
I hate that.
There are so many of them
down there...
that they eat up all the crops.
And as for the crops...
I personally feel
whoever gets there first...
should eat 'em.
How come you told me
you couldn't dance?
Couldn't dance?
Darling, I've been waltzing
since I've been on solid food.
You see?
Excuse me, old buddy.
- We're still dancing.
- Can I talk to you a minute?
Did you tell my buddy
that you played ball at Auburn?
Come on, Craig, let's dance.
Yes, I did,
but I was just kidding.
Well, you're a liar.
I watch every game they play.
They ain't got no scatback.
And they ain't got nobody
named Blake either.
You understand
what I'm saying to you?
Hey, big fella,
we don't want no hassle.
Then stay out of it.
We're just having
a good time here.
You met my buddy Blake.
He's having a good time.
Come on, now. Take it easy.
If I told you once,
I told you a thousand times...
it ain't right.
It just ain't right!
Goddamn it.
Goddamn it!
Excuse me.
How's it going?
It's gonna be all right.
Let me see. Come here.
You got hit.
Who are you?
Joe Santo.
Santo.
I'm sorry.
I just came in here--
Hey, were you
really curling champion?
That thing with the ice
and the brooms?
Yep. Why don't you wash off?
I'm sure you'll be all right.
We'll wait for you outside, OK?
All right. Good.
Sorry I wasn't here to help.
Hey, Blake, is this house
for sale or what?
No, not exactly.
It's my parents' house.
They on vacation?
No. They're dead.
Then it's yours.
No, it's theirs.
If they're dead,
it's got to be yours.
Shut up, you asshole.
Do you know that you have
the most gorgeous collection...
of cut glass out there?
That's my grandmother
you're looking at there.
That was her favorite chair.
Look, Mary...
that whole thing
ought to be in a museum.
Hey, Craig!
Been looking for you. Lunch.
How you feeling?
Got up a little late.
I wish you'd wind your clock
every once in a while.
I had to beat 'em
with ol' Lester here.
- The big server.
- Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
I assume
you acquired that ear...
on one of your more peculiar
pursuits of higher meaning?
That's right.
Don't y'all ever get tired of
these damn club sandwiches?
I'm gonna order hash
up here one day.
They wouldn't serve it to you.
Harold!
I want some
red flannel hash, Harold.
Guess whose hands
are over your eyes...
and win yourself
a sweet surprise.
Amy, don't encourage him.
Golda Meir.
No, you big silly,
but you get a kiss anyway.
Listen, dearies,
I am having the awfulest time...
finding an authentic
for my party this year.
Can't some
of you young bucks help?
Like that one-man band guy
that fell in his drum?
No. You know, anything
authentic for the bridge room.
Craig, be a muffin
and find something for me...
will you, honey?
You got the right man, Amy.
He knows every weirdo in town.
That's three horses.
What?
You can send me a check, Halsey.
You bet.
Wait up a sec.
I'll walk out with you.
Don't bother.
I'll let you know
when I've got it wrapped up.
You sure, now?
Eleven.
Good. Come on, now.
Push it up.
Stand it up. Twelve.
Twelve.
Twelve.
You should've had fifteen.
Them judges will read
them quadriceps like road maps.
How's the promotion going?
Good. Good.
Got 40 entries already.
Good.
Guys coming in
from all over the country...
but there ain't a one of 'em
gonna be able to touch you...
by the time we get through.
They talk about
that Doug Stewart from Amarillo.
Well, Doug Stewart
is gonna mess up his britches...
when he sees you.
Because with your body,
my know-how...
we're going all the way.
Where's all the way?
Don't give me
that mealy-mouthed crap, Santo.
A month from now...
you'll be rich as cream
and feeling fine.
I feel fine already.
Why don't you put
some weight on the bar, pussy?
Hey, man. Thor, here.
Are you here for a workout?
- Maybe.
- Great.
Santo, come on. Let's go.
I was hoping you and l
could talk a little business.
Yeah? What kind of business?
I was curious if you'd--
I ain't got
no time for curiosity.
Besides, this is Saturday.
You want to see me,
call me during business hours.
Hey. He's been drinking.
Blake, now...
Santo's got bicep femoris
to think about.
Now, by God,
you better not bother him.
Make the thighs burn.
Good.
You can't grow without burning.
It's the repetition
that defines the muscle.
Do it faster.
Get the blood into the legs.
Come on. Just keep
the tension on the pecs.
Yes. Isn't it much harder?
I think we had something
like this at school.
I'm not sure
I still got the form down here.
Tell me if I'm doing this right.
Is that it?
I never do that one.
Say...
what is this Batman routine
of yours?
Is that for concentration
or what?
Not really.
I think it's funny.
It adds a little humor
to the workouts.
You should have seen me
last year.
I wore a frogman outfit.
Everybody was laughing.
Just keep
right on talking, Santo.
Remember,
they don't judge lip muscles.
They judge thighs,
they judge legs...
they judge backs, but no lips.
I can't wait until
this whole thing is over, man.
Be sure and turn them lights off
before you leave.
Say, what is there,
one Mr. Something after another?
How about galaxy?
Is there a Mr. Galaxy?
Listen, I don't care about
these titles.
But if I win this one,
I could make enough money...
to pay Thor back
all the debts I owe him.
What kind of debts?
He's the one who brought me
over here from Austria.
He got me a working permit...
helped me with the visa,
things like that.
Anyway,
I could pay him back...
with the money
I make from endorsements.
Endorsements.
That's like selling your name,
isn't it?
Yeah, but it doesn't bother me.
Names don't mean
any more to me than titles.
I've got some relatives
who'd argue with you about that.
Terrible sign, isn't it?
No. I like it.
Good-bye, Mother.
- Whose old car's that?
- I'll introduce you.
Joe Santo,
Mary Tate Farnsworth...
Dorothy Stephens.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Hi. Right back at you, hon.
Had your breakf--I'm sorry!
Gosh, that was alive, isn't it?
Everybody smile.
All right. Come on, Bill.
Let's go down this way.
What was your father?
He was a sculptor and a teacher.
Excuse me for being so direct.
I've always heard that...
that...
people of
your profession were...
Homosexual?
Uh-huh.
I can only
speak for myself...
but if you want me
to prove it...
- More fish?
- No.
Do you know
the Russian writer Turgenev?
He's so moving.
I just feel too much, Joe.
See, the Junior League--
Which, by the way, Craig,
I'm no longer a member of--
The Junior League
teaches you to...
to respect and to love
all of God's little creatures.
Even this little thing here.
The boat's back.
I'm gonna ski the course, Joe.
That's a wonderful idea.
I think I'll go, too.
Why don't you stay here
and keep me company?
I think I'm going, too.
I'll see y'all later.
- What's the course?
- Slalom, downriver.
- Mind if I come with you?
- You know how?
I'll give it a try.
How'd you get so good?
I had to do something
to get out of Prattville.
Did you ski professionally?
Skied Cypress Gardens last year.
Best damn time I ever had.
You'll never get up on that.
Use this one.
All right. Why'd you quit?
I didn't. I broke my ankle.
Wait, Mary Tate.
Let me explain about Dorothy.
Hey, look. You don't have
to worry about me.
I won't mess
with your little lady.
That's not what I meant.
Then what did you mean?
Dorothy and l, we've been...
We've been friends
for a long time. This is--
Hey, Swamp...
that's a real pretty house
you live in.
I've been meaning
to tell you that.
To hell with the course.
Let's just ski.
Your friend Buell,
he taught me a lovely song.
Y'all want to hear my song?
Oh, God. What a song.
Oh
Oh, my number's one
And the fun has just begun
Roll me over, lay me down
Do it again
Roll me over in the clover
I'm not getting out of the car.
I had too good of a time.
Me, too. Thank you, Joe.
What a lovely day.
Craig, do you mind
taking Mary Tate home?
Uh... no.
Good night, honey.
Get a good night's rest.
Well, what about her foot?
Why don't you put the top up?
It's getting chilly.
Joe, thanks a lot.
Oh, Craig.
Dorothy, I'll see you tomorrow.
Isn't that
what they call pimping?
There's no telling where
you're taking me now.
I'll take you
to the Dobbs House...
to get us
some eggs and some coffee.
Sure. Sure.
Well, the Dobbs House
is not where I want to go.
Mary Tate?
Mary Tate?
How's that foot of yours?
It's OK.
Let me take a look at it.
Does this hurt here
when I do that?
A little.
Here, relax your foot.
Did you know
every part of the foot...
corresponds
to a part of the body?
Did you know that?
Here's your spine right here.
Feel that?
And your lungs over here.
And here's your liver.
You may not be able
to feel this, but that's it.
That's your liver.
Where's my mouth?
It's right here.
Hey...
you lied to me.
What?
You told me
you was a businessman.
Shoot.
You ain't no businessman.
You look like some kind
of white hunter to me.
Oh, those.
You really like
the way you look, huh?
That's about all I've got
to show for the last two years.
Those were all new experiences.
I just hung those pictures
up there...
to remember
what getting them was like.
Oh.
You understand, don't you?
I think I can handle it.
Excuse me, sir.
Oh, no.
William, it's all right.
This is Mary Tate Farnsworth.
How about some breakfast?
In bed, sir?
Well, no, we'll have it
in the dining room for a change.
Yes, sir.
What's the deal
between you and Joe?
There ain't no deal.
What does that mean?
I kind of got the impression
he set this whole thing up.
Oh, you think so.
Well, nobody sets me up.
Breakfast is ready, Mr. Blake!
Joe and I lived together once,
that's all.
- No brothers?
- Nope.
- No sisters?
- No.
Cousins?
I've got 137 cousins.
Where do they all fit
at Christmas time?
They all live around here,
up in the hill here.
Downtown we call this
the mountain.
I know.
How'd your folks die?
They were on their way
to North Carolina...
in my father's plane.
Pilot flew into a mountain
in the fog.
I was camped up
on Pyramid Peak...
at the time in the Rockies.
They were dead for two weeks...
before my uncle
finally located me.
And then I moved in here
in November.
How come you need
such a big place?
Well, I don't.
It's... it's just that...
it's been in the family
for so long...
And you don't know what
to do with it, do you?
No.
William, I'm sorry.
It was a mistake.
Everything's fine.
The biscuits still warm, sir?
Everything's fine.
Listen, he's working on it.
Now, that much I know.
But he hasn't
actually bought it yet, huh?
I don't know. I haven't seen him
in a couple of days.
He might've been out of town.
It's been ten days, see...
and we got this architect
over in Atlanta...
keeps billing us...
just like he don't know
who Craig Blake is.
Now, all of us know...
Ol' Craig is slicker
than snot on a doorknob.
But if he's having any trouble
with that dude...
you tell him.
If that's what the problem is...
we could help out some way.
Yeah, I'll tell him.
You do that, Hal.
Deal up there, Walter Jr.
Five-card stud.
Same as what we were playing.
I was winning.
I'm anted up.
My red's right there.
Give me a good hand,
will you, Walt Jr.?
I'm tired of losing.
You didn't eat
your fortune cookie.
I never read
my fortune cookies.
Give it to me, then,
I want it.
No. It's mine.
I save them. Don't.
I have a whole trunkful of
Chinese fortune cookies at home.
When I'm old, one day
I'm gonna open them all up...
and see how my life turned out.
Hey, Swamp...
Baby, come here.
Come over here.
Look at that picture...
on the second floor,
right there in the middle.
- You like that?
- Yeah, I do.
Just wait right there, sugar.
What you mean, wait?
Hello?
Hello?
Hey, friend...
what do you call that action?
Trying to take
a painting off a wall.
I'd tend to call it stealing.
It's not stolen yet.
What did you do,
rivet it on here?
I can't get security.
Damn switchboard's closed.
You're working late, aren't you?
There we go.
Who the hell are you, anyway?
You can't be a burglar.
There's something familiar
about your face.
I am, too, a burglar.
Hell, no, you're not. Hey!
You're one of the Blakes.
It just came to me.
I've seen your picture
a hundred times...
in the social pages.
I even had a date
with your cousin Victoria once.
I'm Fred Kroop.
Fred Kroop?
No, you got the wrong fella.
Hey!
You got to sign out.
I never did sign in.
You can't be here
unless you signed in.
Now, sign out.
Look, like I told you,
I forgot to sign in.
Where'd you get that picture?
From a fella named Kroop.
Look, if it's
that important to you...
I'll sign in and out
at the same time, how's that?
What you'll do is come with me
up to Mr. Kroop's office.
Something ain't right here.
I've got an appointment to make.
Something definitely
ain't right.
All right,
let's make this quick.
Hey!
You are crazy.
You're absolutely crazy.
Some flowers for m'lady.
Let's get out of here.
It's sunflowers.
I thought it was a lion.
You'd never, ever, ever
get away with this...
in Prattville,
I'll tell you that right now.
- Be very cool.
- Never.
You know why?
Because my daddy was sheriff,
that's why.
Let's get out of here.
Come on. Come on.
Wait, you don't even
like this thing?
Sir, take this
to the nearest museum...
will you please?
Thank you very much.
Did you see what that crazy
son of a bitch gave me, huh?
Well, I'll take it.
OK, square the shoulders...
keep it tight down.
Now, shoulders back...
Keep the hip inside...
Tie the belt. Good girl.
OK, shoulders...
Down. Get down further.
Get down further.
OK, on defense...
70%of the weight
is in the back.
OK, ladies, let me
show it to you again, OK?
All right,
let's try it again.
Line up.
Terrific, terrific.
Pathetic. Take a break.
Say the precepts.
Ding-a-ling.
I don't know if it's me, them,
or I'm a bad teacher.
They can't even get position one
after three months of class.
But when they do get it,
look out.
They'll wipe out Birmingham
and everybody in it.
- Mrs. Clyde?
- Yeah.
She had an argument
with her husband...
about who's gonna take
the child to school.
So she chops him one
right in his private area.
Now they all want black belts.
Pretty soon they'll have
to invent a new color.
Gold, maybe or... pink.
How are things on the mountain?
Oh, Anita,
we're having the best time.
You know what we do?
We go outside--
Good. I'm glad
somebody's life is terrific.
Very nice,
Mrs. Clyde, very nice.
Thank you.
Ladies, let's see if
we can do as well as last time.
Here are your supplies
you asked for.
Goddamn it, Newton!
How many times
I have to tell you...
knock before you come in here.
Damn it,
I was doing my pushups.
All right, Joe, can you handle
a little more weight?
Here I come. Open up!
Ain't he wonderful?
Don't you just love him?
Joe, when are you gonna
take that mask off?
Oh, Joe...
I missed you.
There's my man.
How you been, Hal?
Fine, Craig, fine.
You expecting buffalo
up this way, or what?
No. Just a little maintenance.
Come on in.
You're looking good, Hal.
You're looking
all right yourself, Craig.
How are you?
Well, I've been busy.
Pretty busy.
Some of us have got
to earn a living, you know?
Why are you eating
that carrot like that?
It's good for your jaw muscles.
I eat ten of
these little suckers a day.
- Here, try it.
- No, hey--
- Craig, here.
- It's healthy for you.
No... Iook, Craig,
what the hell is going on?
Jabo and those guys
won't wait forever, you know.
It's been almost two weeks.
You don't come to meetings--
I've been down there.
He doesn't want to sell.
Oh, great.
Besides, I'm not too interested
in this deal anymore.
You're not too interested.
Listen, buddy,
You better get interested...
because you got my tail
in a crack down there.
Don't you know
what kind of guys these are?
I know--
They'll have our legs broken
or something.
What the hell
am I gonna tell them?
Tell 'em everything
is fine as wine, Hal.
I don't give a damn
what you tell 'em.
What's all the fussing
about in here?
Mary Tate Farnsworth,
Hal Foss.
How are you?
Everything's fine, baby.
We're just doing
a little business here.
Why don't you go take a bath?
Well, what kind of business?
Go and take your bath,
will you please?
OK, Craig, now I understand...
but listen, Craig...
this whole thing
is too big a deal...
for you to blow
over a little tail...
even if it does
look like that one.
Ease off, Hal.
Come on.
Hey, don't you think...
you're taking
this attraction of yours...
to other types of people
too far?
Ease off, mother.
Come on, man,
take a look at yourself.
Stop it.
Look, you're up here in
your parents' house...
you're letting people
down on deals...
while you whoremonger
around with broads--
I ought to kick
your ass for that, boy.
Listen to me, damn it.
I'm telling you
as a friend, Craig...
you have got to get
yourself on track.
- Ka-ra-te!
- Grow up, will you?
I could take your eye out...
Iike popping an olive
out of a bottle, boy.
Kill your ass
deader than a snapper.
You're pitiful, you know that?
You are really pitiful.
Everything OK down there?
Yeah.
Who was he, anyway?
Ohh... just a friend.
Why don't ol' William
answer that phone?
He's hard of hearing.
Forget it.
I know who it is, anyway.
One thing I can't stand is
a phone that don't quit ringing.
Listen, Mary...
do you think
Thor would ever sell the spa?
No. He still thinks
it's gonna make him rich.
Hoop looks better on me,
doesn't it?
Yeah.
It doesn't look like he's doing
much business down there.
You know, the first thing...
The first thing that...
people give up
during a recession...
is their membership
in clubs like that.
I'm sorry. My dance card's
completely filled.
You know,
I've always wondered...
how you ladies
get out of these things.
My dance card just emptied.
No!
William. Get up.
William...
What are you doing?
I'm quitting,
that's what I'm doing.
You aren't serious, are you?
Yes, sir, I'm serious.
And I'd like
to tell you something.
Your grandmama...
your grandmama,
bless her soul...
if she could see what
you're doing down here...
in her living room
where she entertained...
quality-born
ladies and gentlemen...
she'd come out of
that picture on the wall...
and drive a butcher knife
through your heart...
and I would help her!
Disgrace!
What's the matter with him?
William...
William.
You been with us for 52 years.
Yes, sir.
Fifty-two long, good years.
But no more.
Come on, Willie.
And I'm taking everything
that belongs to me.
Your grandmama left me
a lot of stuff in her will.
She left me this here, too.
Don't worry, honey.
I'll be back to get you...
and I'm gonna take
your poor blind eyes outta here.
You hear? I'll be back.
Dear Craig...
traditionally,
your Uncle Henry has been...
the Blake family's
most notable black sheep.
You seem to be coming up
fast on the outside.
I'll be returning
from South Africa...
in time to attend
Amy Walterson's party.
I assume you'll be there.
Fondest regards, Uncle Albert.
Come on. Let's go.
Still don't feel like telling me
where you're taking me?
Relax.
Hey, Joe! By doggies!
I haven't seen you
in a month of Sundays.
I wasn't expecting you
down here now.
That's my friend, Craig Blake.
This is Tom Haley.
- How do you do, Mr. Haley?
- I'm glad to know you.
Pleased to meet you.
My pleasure.
Why don't you go on around
where they're tuning up...
and we'll be around there
in a little bit.
Hey, son. Where you from?
Birmingham.
Birmingham? Oh, man.
They don't even whistle
down there anymore.
You know what that is
you're listening at?
No, sir,
I can't really say that I do.
That's true stick fiddling.
When you play it on a stand
or off the music...
it's not called stick fiddling.
It's called a violin.
Now, Joe there,
when he first come out...
he asked if he could look on...
and see how
he's using that bow now?
That's not just looking on.
Real authentic, huh?
I reckon you could
call it that if you want to.
Oh, yes, sir.
You are full of surprises,
I tell you.
- That's what life is all about.
- I don't know what you are.
I think I wanted to show off
today, that's all.
You fellas are fantastic.
I love that.
You realize
I had absolutely no intention--
Hey, that's cool.
No, but do you really--
I've never seen her happier.
It's terrific.
I've heard about this stuff
all my life.
Kind of grows on you,
doesn't it?
Yeah. But it's like
a lot of good things.
Can get too much
of it in a hurry.
Better be careful.
I have been careful all my life.
Yes. Come.
See, Anita, every time
anything's bothering you...
what you want to do is sweat.
Now what's this?
The door's unlocked.
It's just Thor upstairs
balling a goat or something.
Hey! Who in the hell are you?!
Who the hell are you?
Just what are you doing?
I'm just fixing
this air conditioner up here.
Uh-huh. Who asked you?
Murray! Bones!
Y'all get down here!
You watch him, Anita.
Looks like we got company.
Yeah, you do.
Is it a cop?
You're gonna wish I was.
Who the hell are you guys?
You sure don't look like no cop.
Watch him!
Get him, Murray! Get him!
Anita! Hit the lights!
Gonna eat you up, boy.
Get the goddamn lights!
Look at what we got here.
Our little buddy from the club.
What the hell you guys
doing this for anyway?
Shut up.
Oh, yeah.
When I took this job,
it was for money...
but now, I'm gonna get me
some real pleasure.
You hurt her downstairs,
and you're d--
Well, I think I better be
getting on, little lady.
Now, you be good, you hear?
Hotshot pool player, huh?
Well, let's see
how good you are.
Left ball in the side pocket.
Y'all watch out.
She's Jap or something.
Jap my ass.
Get out of the door, lady.
We don't want to hurt no lady.
Franklin! Are you all right?
Jabo didn't say nothing
about no karate!
Customers can't use the place.
If I don't get it
fixed right now...
they're gonna sue class action.
Damn it! I can't even afford
to stage the contest now.
And that's gonna break
Joe's heart.
How much are the damages?
You see,
these people down here...
Mary Tate, Franklin, Newton...
they're like my own children.
I helped every one--
Thor, how much are the damages?
What with
the air conditioning and all...
it comes to 5,000.
- 5,000?
- To get it fixed right.
Why are you so interested
in all of this, Blake?
Well, I was thinking...
If I could help you out,
I'd lend you the money.
You wouldn't happen
to know nothing about...
who them skunks were,
would you?
Jesus--
What do you want for the loan?
An l. O.U.
Look, do you want
the money or not?
Blake, you ol' son of a gun.
Me and you's just alike,
ain't we?
We just need to help people.
Have a sip.
Swamp?
I forgot to tell you.
William came by today...
and he took
that old piece of armor...
and he took your horse, too.
Said you owed it to him.
Bath's ready.
Not now, Mary Tate, OK?
You sure?
Yeah, I'm sure!
What do you want to do then?
I want to sit
in the goddamn chair...
is what I want to do!
OK!
Swamp...
all you gotta do
is just sit there.
Just be.
Mary...
I love you.
Great.
Do me a favor, baby?
Carry my compact for me?
- Can't, doll.
- How come? You got pockets.
It'll bulge, damn it.
Carry it yourself.
Well, I didn't want to take
my pocketbook...
but that's OK.
I won't take it.
- I don't need it.
- Yeah, right.
Oh, gosh,
I hope Joe does good.
He's gonna do fine.
He plays the fiddle,
doesn't he?
I'm so excited.
Well, how do I look?
Oh, shoot, my clips.
You look beautiful.
- Do l?
- Yeah.
Do I really?
Are you kidding, baby?
You look fantastic.
You don't look bad yourself.
Don't you worry.
This is gonna be fun for us.
Come on, let's go.
We're late.
- All right.
- Come on!
Hi, Craig.
How you doing?
Good to see you.
Victoria, look at you.
Don't you look lovely?
Craig, it's so good to see you.
I haven't seen you in weeks.
- Where have you been?
- I've been all over.
Victoria, I want you to meet
Mary Tate Farnsworth.
- Hello. How are you?
- Hi. I'm fine.
Will you excuse us?
I see my man over there.
Of course.
Good to have seen you again.
See you later. Bye-bye.
Oh, watch it.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
Boy, you sure got some
peaked-looking relatives.
Hey, partner.
Where'd you get these duds?
Rented them.
Guaranteed authentic.
Well, you look really sharp.
Look at these people.
Now, this is
what you call class.
How are you, Mary Tate?
Excuse me.
I got a relative to say hi to.
I'll be right back.
Uncle Albert.
Good evening, sir.
What's the matter
with you, baby?
Well, don't you think this dress
is a little bit out of place?
So what if it is?
It doesn't matter to me.
Least I don't look
like Buffalo Bill.
Is my dress really all right?
Sweetheart, I told you...
your dress just looks
pretty unusual.
You look lovely.
You both look fine.
Craig! Craig, darling!
How are you?
Here's our hostess.
Amy, give us a kiss.
Craigie.
Why, Mr. Santo, I just want to
tell you how delighted I am...
that you and your paramour
could join us this evening.
And, Craig, you were just a
perfect muffin to get him here.
- Me and my what?
- Your little friend here.
Miss Farnsworth is Craig's
little friend, Mrs. Waterson.
In the interest
of clarity, Amy.
I see.
He has extraordinary
musculature.
Yeah, it really takes
a hell of a lot of dedication...
to work out like that.
Thank you.
In a couple of weeks he's gonna
be the new Mr. Universe.
Why don't y'all
come and meet him?
I think you'll enjoy that.
Yeah. I'd like that.
Joe, you got a second?
I want you to meet some
fans of yours here.
Richard Packman,
Mr. Joe Santo.
Now, easy, big fella.
He got my drinking hand.
He's a big'un, isn't he?
Is that young lady
your latest?
Well, she's really more
a friend of Joe Santo's.
Yes?
Well, a friend
of mine and his.
I see.
Craig...
Yes, Uncle Albert?
What happens to body builders
when they get old?
They die.
This little gal here--
I've known her since I was 11.
She's the only lady
in this whole club...
ever to work her way into
a men's doubles game... and win.
Zoe, this is--
Let me introduce myself, Craig.
That's a marvelous idea.
All right.
I'll see you later.
Who's that? How come
I don't get to meet her?
- You'll meet her later.
- Don't pull my arm.
Who's buying the bourbon here?
I'm the guilty party.
Come on. I'll show you
around this place.
Say, what do y'all
think of my buddy?
Leave it to ol' Craig here.
Amy asked him to come up
with a musical act...
and he comes up with a freak.
- Nice work, Craig.
- What'd he say?
Well...
easy on the names,
huh, Halsey?
Hello, everybody.
Look who's here. Dorothy.
I just saw Joe outside.
He's a man of so many talents.
You remember Mary Tate.
Of course I remember
Mary Tate--
the little
water ski girl.
I want a word
with you, buddy.
- You do?
- Yes, I do. Right now.
- Craig--
- Wait for me.
Just talk to Dorothy.
Chub, I want a bourbon here.
When did you turn
vandal anyway?
Now, wait now. I didn't have
anything to do with that...
and you know it,
but I warned you.
Those guys
are a natural force.
What did you expect?
What?
Well, that did it.
I'm through, you hear?
Fine. That's just fine.
You just back out and leave me
to pick up all the pieces...
and all my money tied up
in some two-bit jewelry store.
You can't get out now.
I can get out whenever I feel.
You have no concern
for obligations.
- You have--
- Obligations?
Yes, obligations.
To what?
To busting up the spa?
You owe this to me.
You owe it to yourself.
Don't you understand that?
What am I supposed to do?
I understand that you
got yourself mixed up...
with a bunch
of thieves, buddy.
Easy, boys. Easy.
Hey, easy.
Hey, give me a drink here,
will you, chub?
Hey, suavey,
there's supposed to be a show.
It's gonna start
here in a minute.
Now, you'd better go pry
that big fella away from Zoe...
or there ain't
gonna be no show.
There's gonna be a show,
all right--
Mr. Universe on the violin.
- Hey, does he take requests?
- Will he take his shirt off?
Will he show us his tits?
What the hell's
the matter with you?
He could crush you
like an eggshell, Halsey.
You are sick!
Now, who do you think
you're messing with?
I am messing with
a pencil-neck midget, I believe.
Hit me if you're gonna hit me,
boy, come on.
Wait a minute!
This is between Craig and me!
Shut up!
Come on! Cool it!
- He's gone.
- Get outta here!
Yeah.
Listen, let's get us
a drink...
and then we'll have us
some damn entertainment.
Good to see you.
Joe, when you play, you ought to
be up here, up front...
and you fellas
just kind of...
That's it.
That looks good.
Why don't you let
us take care of this...
and you look after
Mary Tate?
OK.
Too much alcohol.
Mary Tate?
Who's that you're with?
Lester,
how's everything going?
Well, hello, suavey.
I was just telling Mary Tate
here how fine everything is.
Except those damn Jap tools.
They are killing us, Craig.
They're cheaper than ours...
but they do not have
the life in them.
They don't have
the tensile strength--
- Mary Tate, let's go.
- They got nothing.
- Joe's playing inside.
- Well, I'm playing outside.
Glad everything's fine, Lester.
Fine? It's a hell of
a lot better than fine.
Lester, let me see your lighter
again, honey, will you?
Which pocket's it in, honey?
Look at this. Read that.
"Zero defects."
Zero defects.
Well, this boy Lester here,
you know...
he ain't got a goddamned one.
And you know what else?
There's only five other men...
in the entire state
with that pin.
Just five, huh, Lester?
Well, it's for my factory,
not just for me.
That's just terrific, Lester.
Isn't that terrific?
All right! All right!
Thank you.
Thank you, indeed!
Thank me. Thank you.
Everybody having
a good time?
- Yes!
- Good, good!
What? I can't stand
that racket.
Turn to page 93
in the green hymnals.
Sing now!
You dance divinely.
Come on, everybody.
Let's hear it...
for the Muscle Beach
Symphony Orchestra!
Sorry, Tom.
Sorry, fellas. Sorry, guys.
We'll get together
again soon.
OK.
That's it for tonight, folks.
Thank you.
Hey, Craig!
Come out and--
Would you give this check
back to our hostess, please?
- You can't quit now.
- I'll tell you what...
Come on. Let's give him
a standing ovulation.
He deserves it.
Hey, hold on there
a minute now.
You wouldn't want to have
an argument now, would you?
Hey, it's done.
- It's done?
- It's done.
- What'd you do to him?
- Kiss off. What do you care?
Put your hand
down his pants?
You've been ugly with me
all night. All night!
I talked dirty to him.
He wanted to be sexy,
only he didn't know how.
These people...
Come on. We're going in
to see Joe.
I don't want
to go back in there.
All right, we can go home,
and you can talk dirty to me.
You bring me here.
You ignore me all night.
You act like somebody
I don't even know.
You go back in there
and watch Joe!
Lester, here's your lighter.
Stay out of this.
She's had too much to drink.
You stay out of it!
I have not!
You have been acting the fool
all night, Craig Blake.
I'm through with you.
You're the one who's overdone
the drinking, boy!
Zero defects.
- Yeah, zero defects--
- Bullshit!
- Do you know where Joe is?
- Take it easy, will you?
Go away.
Lady, do you know
where Joe went?
What? Your friend?
I'm afraid your friend left.
He wouldn't do that
without saying good-bye.
Come
on now. Calm down.
Where'd he go, damn it!
He left!
Craig, this young person
is disturbing my party.
Seriously disturbing my party.
I know.
We're leaving right now, Amy.
- We're going. OK.
- Thank you very much.
Just a little excitement.
Don't worry about it.
I've seen it happen...
in service clubs
all over the world.
That shower makes me
feel so much better.
How you feeling, baby?
I'm leaving.
Baby, that was your
first party like that.
Now, you're bound
to be a little edgy.
I did it for them.
I wanted them to meet him...
And I wanted them to meet you.
Because you're so real!
You know?
You're so different.
Baby--
Don't touch me.
I was proud of you.
Now, can't you see that?
All these pictures
here on the wall...
these experiences
you said you had.
You don't want me.
You want another trophy
for your wall...
Baby, now don't go flying
off at the handle.
And I'm not one of 'em.
Mary Tate!
I loved you, Craig!
Mary--
I really loved you!
Can't we even talk about this?
Now wait! Wait a minute!
Where are you going?
You don't even have
all your stuff!
Stay out of my way.
I don't want to hurt you!
Baby!
Mary Tate!
I need you!
Baby, I need you!
Mary Tate!
Your mother's brother Henry
had this pet goat as a child.
He never got over it.
When he got out of college...
and it was time for him
to go into the business...
Henry wouldn't have
any of it.
All he wanted to do
was to be around goats.
So, your grandfather
invited him to leave home...
and Henry eventually
wound up in Jamaica.
He started that goat farm
down there with four animals.
You know what it is now.
Baa baa baa baa--
all over the place.
Now, the point is
that to make...
anything meaningful
out of a life...
it really doesn't
matter what you do...
only that you
do something...
and do it unsparingly.
Look...
Uncle Albert...
I appreciate this visit
and the bits of family history.
I'm just a little
strung out now.
Is that what you call it?
Craig...
why don't you shit
or get off the pot?
I suppose you're right.
What do you look at?
Squirrels.
I never had a goat as a child.
50" chest. 19" arm.
281/2" waist.
Medium height class.
Next.
Dave Drew.
5'10". 210 pounds.
49" chest.
19" arm. 30" waist.
You entering
as a medium or a tall?
What's this guy Santo going in?
Tall.
Put me in the medium.
Smart choice. Next.
Hey, where's your boy?
You hiding him out or what?
He's cooling out
down on some island...
and you're gonna see him sooner
than you want to there, Zwick.
How about a picture?
You got a picture of the guy?
Hey, looks like
you been hitting...
them traps pretty
hard there, Stewart.
Not now, Laverne.
Hey, what the hell
kind of language is that?
It's a language he invented.
He's my little brother.
He's a genius.
We talk that way
to keep things private.
It gives me the creeps.
He gives me the creeps.
Besides, I like the way...
you're always cultivating
interesting new people.
I thought they were nice.
I really did.
And I can certainly understand
your attraction...
to that little country girl.
She was sweet.
You want some iced tea?
Craig, I'm so glad you came.
I knew you'd get over
all that silliness.
You look like
your old self again.
Can we go to Anniston
this weekend?
Tootie and Charles have some
English friends in town...
and Becky Farr's driving in
from Nashville.
Don't you understand?
She's not coming in.
Why? Just because
she split the blanket...
with that pretty boy Blake?
Now, you tell her
I'll take care of her.
You know how I feel
about Mary Tate.
Sure, I do.
Thor, there's a guy downstairs.
Says he wants to talk to you.
I'm busy!
He ain't here to take out
no membership.
This guy's a dude. Said he's got
a business proposition for you.
I'll be down in a minute.
How come Joe ain't back?
Tomorrow's the contest.
He'll be back.
I talked to him last night.
Run on over to the auditorium
and check out the lights.
I don't want nothing
to go wrong, do you hear me?
Do I look deaf?
- Newton?
- Yeah!
You see this here money?
Sit down,
right here in my chair.
Keep your hands on that shoebox
and your eye on that door...
and don't you move till
I get back. Do you understand?
When Joe wins
this prize money...
there's a big bonus
in it for you.
What can I do for you?
Mr. Erikson.
Jabo,
your license number 67163?
- 64.
- 64.
Say, this guy's here on business
from Cleveland, say.
Poor bastard missed
a connection in Atlanta...
been traveling all day long...
and he checks into this place
around 9:00 at night.
He's tired. He don't feel good.
Know what I mean?
So what's he gonna do?
I'll tell you what.
He don't know how to get him
no ass in Birmingham...
so what's he gonna do?
He's gonna head for a parlor
every time. You know that.
Get him a little bit
of rub-a-dub-dub...
and who knows what-all?
Now, ain't I right?
You better believe it, boy.
Now see, we picked you out
Of over a hundred fellas...
to run this operation
'cause you got class.
Don't bother.
It's only gonna ring once.
All you gotta do
is sell your little business...
to our good buddy
Craig Blake...
and then we're gonna
set you up...
as the massage parlor king
of Alabama.
Craig Blake?
You boys gonna do business
with that little fleabite?
You going broke.
Now, listen.
I appreciate your offer...
but I gotta have some time
to think about it.
Here are the ladies.
- Hi.
- Hello, hello.
I thought you might like to meet
some of the ladies...
who might be working for you.
Audition them, you might say.
What's fun for two...
is more for four.
I know you're jiving.
Look, why don't you
hold on for a minute?
Maybe we oughta
show these girls...
some exercises
we do around here.
Let's kind
of work into this.
Girls...
Flower, Mae Ruth...
I want to tell you...
that there ain't no common
ordinary nigra.
There is Wamba.
Jungle bomb. Honeypot.
Come on, y'all.
Let's get naked!
Jabo said to treat
these boys right.
Now we'd better do it.
Yeah, but if we--
Now I don't mind learning about
lifting them weights and all...
but I sure as hell
gonna have my privacy.
And Flower, too.
That's right,'cause me
and Wamba want to be alone.
But you're
not gonna whip me...
with that thing,
are you, honey?
No. Who in the hell
is Wamba?
Ain't she something else, man?
Hey, and I want to know...
y'all are having a good time
in there now, by God.
Warm her up. Go on!
I might come in and try her out
myself a little later.
Go on!
You know, I was
telling Mae Ruth...
I never had
no nigra date before.
You want me to get naked?
Sure. Sure.
Get naked if you want to.
Don't take your pants off!
Keep your pants on.
Lay down on your stomach.
Face down. Face down.
Hey, what are you gonna do
with that thing?
Trust me.
Isn't this fun?
OK now, graymeat...
what you thought
you was gonna get...
you could get
from anybody crazy enough...
to fool with
your worthless behind.
There. But I'm giving you
something you can't find...
nowhere else.
Now where'd you get
these things from?
The mail order house?
Who's been taking care
of this skin of yours, child?
No color.
You know, I was an acrobat
when I was a little girl.
I got real good.
Mama finally took me into town
and gave me lessons.
So I'll tell you something.
It hasn't hurt me much
in my professional life.
There. Now see,
we can do this here all night...
right on up until
he pass out in there.
I'm gonna throw
300 pounds of iron...
through that door
if you don't open it up.
Hold it. I gotta get up.
She's good.
And you'd better keep
your mouth shut, you hear?
Not a word.
I'm coming through.
We've been going to town.
Wamba!
Where's that
electrical massager?
Down at the bottom.
I had to tie her up
as soon as she come in here.
I'm gonna hang this night up
on the wall and frame it!
By God.
Her friend taught me tricks
you wouldn't believe.
This nigra's
trying to kill me.
Old tricks. New tricks.
I'm coming through. Hike!
I'm running a little late.
I think I'll just grab a taxi.
I'll drive you over.
I'd like to see...
that pageant
or whatever it is.
I don't think
it would interest you.
Thanks for the trip.
That's all? Just thanks?
That's all I have.
The plane leaves again
tomorrow, lovey.
Come on, come on out here.
Now, cut that out now.
Now, I can't deny
that you're underpaid.
Here, gimme.
$20 for you,
and $20 for you.
Come on, let's get out
of here. Come on.
Bonus money.
Now, you girls are lucky.
I've seen Thor keep girls
up here three or four days...
before he even think about
passing out. Come on, girls.
Our next contestant
in the short class:
it's the great
Sardinian warrior--
Franco Orsini!
Hey, which way is backstage?
Backstage? This way.
All right, mediums, let's go!
Hey, we got any mediums in here?
Come on, line up.
Hey, any of you fellas
seen Joe Santo?
Hey, George, get out there.
I told you.
Come on. Come on.
Are you the stage manager?
Hey, Leroy,
I told you five minutes.
Do you know where
Joe Santo is?
He's not a medium!
Hey, you're number three.
Get out there.
I don't know. Number two.
Hey, asshole.
How many poses we got to do--
seven or eight?
Eight poses.
Any of you see
Joe Santo around?
Yes. Try next door.
Thank you.
What do you mean mediums?
We need five more minutes.
Hey, Joe.
Do the four steps. You know,
one knee, it should do it.
How are you?
Glad to see you.
And don't forget,
keep tensing the thighs.
Did you have
a good time with Zoe?
Fine. All right.
Think you'll see her again?
Nope.
Why not?
I don't like being
too comfortable.
Once you get used to it,
It's hard to give up.
I'd rather stay hungry.
Hey, Santo. When are you gonna
show me what you got?
Terrific, Doug.
Are you going to do that
on stage?
You'll see when we
get out there.
Your peanuts, Joe.
Hey, Franklin.
Is it authentic enough
for you back here?
What's on your mind?
That's why I came over here
to talk to you--
Moe Zwick,
rhymes with quick.
That's my boy over there.
Laverne,
there's oil on the floor.
Look, I've been worrying
a little bit about Erikson.
Now, I'm not implying
that he would head south...
with all that entry money,
but him not being here...
just makes me nervous,
you know?
And I'm not usually
a nervous individual.
Mae Ruth.
Mae Ruth!
Come here!
I want to do it some more.
Get in here!
Mae Ruth?
Jesus, Thor!
What are you doing here?
You're supposed
to be at the contest.
I ain't going to the contest.
Can't go to the contest.
Well, I'm getting out of here.
Don't go. Stay here with me.
Don't go to the contest.
- Thor!
- Mary Tate, stay here with me.
Can't go to that contest.
Stay here.
Stay here.
I know now what I'm doing.
Thor...
Look. Look, see?
OK, OK.
I know. I know you're unhappy.
Look, see? Look.
I just want to make you happy.
Buy you things, pretty things.
Make you feel good.
I can make you
feel happy right now.
Look. Look, see. See?
Oh, please...
Come on. Come on.
It won't hurt you. Come on.
Just a little.
Just a sniff.
Come on. Mary Tate.
It's just that
I miss her so much.
I feel so bad about
what happened at the party.
I'm sorry, Joe.
Really, I am.
Will you put your goddamn
dumbbells down for a second?
Come on.
They're all backstage.
Let's go.
Why do you come to me?
Why don't you tell her?
Because I thought
she was gonna be here.
Look around. She's not.
OK, everybody on stage.
Thanks a lot, Joe.
That helps me. Thank you.
Listen, buddy, you had her once,
and you let her go.
I got my contest
to win here today.
I can't believe you.
You really want to win this...
and you're giving me this
"stay hungry" horseshit?
I don't know where she is.
And even if I did,
I still wouldn't tell you.
Why, because you want her
for yourself?
Now you're talking
about something...
you don't know anything about.
Yeah, I do.
You know what I think?
I think you were testing her,
you bastard.
Hey, give us
a break here, Blake.
You believed all along
she was coming back to you.
Come on now.
My boy has a job to do.
I told you a while back,
you can't grow without burning.
- I don't need this shit.
- Yeah, you do.
Craig, hey. Listen to me.
Check the spa.
Anita told me that Mary Tate...
was going back there
to pick up her stuff.
Listen, I got to get
out front, all right?
Thanks. If she shows here,
just tell her to wait.
OK. Listen, if you see Thor,
you tell him now's the time!
Follow that guy.
Find out what's
with Erikson.
Don't worry about Doug.
The finals ain't
for fifteen minutes. Follow him.
Go on.
Mary?
Mary Tate?
Mary?
I've been looking
all over for you.
Are you all right?
I love you, baby.
Let me go, Craig.
I'm not gonna let you go.
I love you.
He let me go.
He let me go.
Who let you go?
What happened?
- Mary Tate!
- I'm scared. We have to go.
What happened?
What'd he do to you?
Blake!
Find Joe!
Find Joe!
What did you do to her,
you bastard?!
What did you do to her?!
Pissant, where are you?
Who the hell are you?
Santo! Santo!
That's enough. Break it up.
One of you is gonna
pass out. Come on.
In just a moment...
the judges will announce
the new Mr. Universe.
The guy named Santo.
He's from Austria.
Havi-shavitz!
Havi-shavitz!
Quiet!
Havi-shavitz!
Fa-vight! Fa-vight!
Fight. A fight. I knew it.
- Fight? Where?
- Erikson's place.
- Oh, my God!
- Hey, where you going?
Dougie! Dougie! I knew it.
The son of a bitch is taking off
with our prize money.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the new Mr. Universe...
Joe Santo!
Hey, Santo! Santo!
Hey, fella, listen.
Listen to me now.
You're causing a panic here.
Now talk slow.
Ha-vi-sha-vitz.
Fee-vee-vight.
Did Joe Santo come this way?
- Joe Santo?
- He had posing trunks on.
Is that what you're wearing?
I thought those
were his underpants.
No, no. Body builders.
He's one of them body builders.
Show the people
what body builders do.
Hey, Ed, did you see
where Santo went?
No.
These people
want to see poses.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
We might as well.
Where's Joe?
He took the prize money.
What the hell's
going on here?
Hey, leave us alone.
Attempted rape. Assault.
Enough to get him ten years.
How about taking care
of the crowd, Owen?
Excuse me, officer.
What happened
to this guy Erikson?
He come through the window.
They just took him off.
He's in a lot worse shape
than that Blake boy.
That's a shame.
You didn't happen to see
no money on him, did you?
How about just moving along.
I can't believe it.
You beat up on Erikson...
'cause he tries
to diddle your girlfriend.
She drops the charges,
he agrees to sell...
and now you're saying you won't
sell us back the place?
That's right.
Me and Mr. Universe...
we're going into
the gym business.
That doesn't mean you boys
aren't welcome back here.
Hell, we'll put you all
on a program.
Help you take care of
those love handles...
of yours there, Walter Jr.
Hey, now, quit it!
And that's it, huh?
Jabo, have you thought about
building a skinny high-rise?
Or maybe a little fat, short,
squatty one around my place.
Look, two months from now,
you're gonna get tired...
of playing
with all these toys.
You're gonna crawl to us
to bail your ass out.
Maybe.
But for now,
I like it down here.
Let me set something straight.
From now on...
you do your business
on the other side of town.
You listen to me, hear?
What's he doing?
Posing.
You think that's funny?
That's funny.
No, that's funny.
- Dear nephew...
- You'll see.
You may not have become
the Blake we anticipated...
but you are definitely
Craig Blake...
an identity that no one
will dare challenge.
Musclemen amok in the town
your forebears built.
A formidable achievement.
Fondly, Uncle Albert.
Well, it's a sold house,
William.
Dear Uncle Albert...
"Do it unsparingly,"
you once said...
and so I have.
I asked William
if he would like to stay on...
with the new owners...
but he feels
that way of life...
is as much behind him
as it is for me.
He's opened a thrift shop
downtown...
using the more salable
objects from the house...
with which
to build his trade.
Found us a spot
down by the river.
- William!
- Yes, sir?
We offered him
a guest membership at the spa...
but he contends
that massage, rays...
weight training,
and the like...
would send him
to an early grave.
I think in some
very special way...
William's approval
means more to me...
than anyone else's
in the family.
Give us a hug here.
Come on down the spa
sometime, William.
It seems strange to be leaving
the house I was born in.
But I think we both know
I left a long time ago.
I simply neglected
to move out.
Squirrels abound where Mary Tate
and I will be living...
so come spy on them.
And us.
Your most loving nephew,
Craig.
it has been five months
since your father...
and my beloved sister...
died.
Surely,
there is no time limit...
on grief...
and sorrow.
I know you have expressed
misgivings...
about the steel business...
but perhaps
this is the time...
to seek the comforts
of your tradition.
You are young
and particularly vulnerable...
now that your parents are dead.
Come work with me.
I have heard you are involved...
in some real estate venture.
Is this the time to divorce
yourself from family?
To take up
with unsavory strangers?
You are, after all, a Blake.
Please...
Iet me hear from you.
Fondest regards...
Uncle Albert.
I'll bet you 50
I can beat you to the meeting.
Double it for 100.
We don't want to keep
that Blake boy waiting.
I'm in.
We jumping reds, Jabo?
I see a piece of pelt
I'd like to jump over here.
If I'm lying, I'm dying.
Look out, y'all,
I'm hot as fire...
and I'm burning up Birmingham.
You're standing still,
chub-chub.
Blink once,
you're gonna miss me.
Now, boys, well,
you can read 'em and weep...
'cause the Hueytown Flash
has arrived.
Well, we're nearly home then.
Two more pieces of property...
we have the whole block
sewed up.
What'd you finally get
that tailor down to, Walter Jr.?
$35,000 on a refinance.
Like talking to a mule,
that old man...
but he come to see the light.
That's fine as wine.
How you coming, Hal?
Still working on it.
Now, Craig,
this last piece of property...
Iooks like
you'll have to buy it..
since you the only one left
without his name on some paper.
Like you say,
I'll just go on over yonder...
and make that boy an offer
right down around his ankles.
Yeah, you do that, boy...
and if he don't buy it...
you move up around his knees.
Shit. We don't need
to tell you nothing.
You'll charm that dude blind.
Isn't that right, fellas?
Gimme ten, Mr. Blake.
They made enough on that
Pell City deal to buy Alabama.
We're lucky
they let us in on this thing.
Lucky?
They're the lucky ones.
Now, look.
Just keep it simple.
Just go down and buy the place.
The corporation buys it back,
and we own the block.
We build the biggest
office high-rise in the city.
I know how it works.
My great grandfather
built this town...
by eating guys like that
for breakfast.
Wasn't this your father's car?
Yeah. I figured
it needed a little air.
Are you sure
you're OK up there alone?
Yeah, I'm sure.
I'll see you
at the club on Saturday.
I got the court for 10:00.
Good. See you there.
You'd better put your top up.
Welcome to the Olympic.
I'm Mary Tate Farnsworth,
and--
Honey, I don't think you should
hang upside down anymore.
Welcome to the Olympic.
I'm Mary Tate--
Actually,
I'm just here to look around.
Well, just take them steps.
Thank you.
You a businessman?
You got it.
- Hiya. I'm Franklin Coates.
- Craig Blake.
- Show you around the place?
- Sure.
Mr. Walker, keep leaning
on that barrel there.
Just ease back on it.
That's my man.
Right this way.
Now, this is the studio.
Over here,
we got massage and rays.
Hey, Newton.
This way.
This pool is kept at 110 degrees
at all times.
It's got herbs in it.
Kills crabs, does it?
Huh?
Oh, yeah.
Gain, reduce, or tone.
See, we're supposed
to put you on a program.
Is the guy on the sign
on a program?
Joe Santo?
Mr. Austria?
You can bet your ass
he don't need no program.
Well, neither do l.
What time did--
Excuse me, Mister...
- Blake.
- Thor Erikson.
- How you do, Mr. Erikson?
- Just call me Thor.
There's some
builders and lifters...
who work out at
6:00 to 8:00 at night.
That's what I was
trying to tell him, Thor.
I was explaining--
Mr. Erikson--
That's their time, now.
They're not your kind of folks.
Them boys are rough as a cob.
What line are you in, Mister...
Blake. I'm a businessman.
A man of decision. Real estate.
Relax there.
Get the most for the least.
Know what I mean?
You look in pretty good shape.
I was taking a little look
at your place here and...
I might could get excited
about something like this.
How much do you want for it?
Turn around.
Dear Uncle Albert, I recognize
that I am involved...
with unorthodox business people.
As you advised,
I am proceeding cautiously.
Business causes tension.
But as you would expect...
confidently.
Sincerely, Craig.
Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey.
You hold it right there.
- Right there on that spot.
- Hey, it's all right.
He was up here
a couple of days ago...
and Thor says it's OK.
Did you eat yet?
I had a little lunch.
What you trying to say?
Thor didn't tell me
nothing about it.
Well, he told me.
It's better if you don't have
nothing on your stomach.
Good.
Better not be no spy, say l!
Better not be no spy!
Better not be no spy, I say!
Newton, please.
What's this contest?
Mr. Universe next month.
Thor's been
saving Joe up for it.
He don't want
the wrong people seeing him...
or wouldn't nobody enter.
Are you his trainer?
I'm his grease man.
Oil him up before exhibition.
Oh. Well...
You call lifting them
itty-bitty things working out?
I think the man is doing fine,
just fine.
I've been watching him now
for a while...
and he's really moving big.
He moves like
he used to play hockey.
Hey, Franklin, ask him
if he used to play hockey.
You play hockey?
Tell Batman it was lacrosse...
but I can see
how he got confused.
Joe, you gonna be long?
Mary Tate and Anita
are over at the club...
so why don't
you all go ahead and...
I'll catch up with you later.
Listen, they got
a pool table over there.
You play?
- Where's Joe at?
- Still pumping iron.
Too bad. The band wanted him
to sit in on a set tonight.
Let's don't have any trouble
out of you, huh?
- Don't sweat it, Hayes.
- Don't get on nobody.
See?
What else does this Santo guy do
besides lift weights?
There ain't nothing
Joe don't do.
Man bowls 200...
was near about
an Olympic swimmer...
and before he come here
from Austria...
he was world champion
of curling.
You...
You know what that is?
He's quite a guy, isn't he?
Damn straight.
Corner.
Let me tell you
something, buddy.
When Joe takes
that title next month...
He's...
He's going to have done it all.
You got a hot stick, my man.
Very hot.
Rack 'em up.
Let's hear it for the band!
Anita, now she comes
from Chicago.
Don't flash those greenbacks.
Excuse us.
She teaches down
at the gym twice a week.
What she teach?
Excuse me, Romeo.
Karate. Black belt.
I'm gonna say hello
to my friend over here.
All right.
I'll see you back at the table.
- Hey, hey, buddy!
- Sorry.
What are y'all?
I mean,
y'all are pretty big dudes.
You play football or what?
Yeah. We play for Auburn.
What do you play?
Scatback.
I figured you played
something like that.
What's your name?
Blake. Buck Blake.
Yeah. Thanks, Blake.
"War eagle" now, you hear?
I hear you.
Don't get nervous.
Joe wouldn't care.
You know something?
You look like a swamp.
I've been meaning
to tell you that.
- I look like a what?
- A swamp.
With all that blond hair
and eyes and stuff.
I really like
the way you look...
except for that.
What is that?
Looks like
a little baby squirrel's tail.
Watch out.
Don't get no poop on you, now.
Then last month,
I was in Cozumel for sailfish...
and September,
a bunch of us guys...
get together,
go down to Mexico...
and shoot white-wing dove.
I personally can't see that,
shooting birds.
It's cheaper than shooting craps
and better than shooting people.
I can't see shooting doves.
My dentist had this freezer
filled with doves.
I hate that.
There are so many of them
down there...
that they eat up all the crops.
And as for the crops...
I personally feel
whoever gets there first...
should eat 'em.
How come you told me
you couldn't dance?
Couldn't dance?
Darling, I've been waltzing
since I've been on solid food.
You see?
Excuse me, old buddy.
- We're still dancing.
- Can I talk to you a minute?
Did you tell my buddy
that you played ball at Auburn?
Come on, Craig, let's dance.
Yes, I did,
but I was just kidding.
Well, you're a liar.
I watch every game they play.
They ain't got no scatback.
And they ain't got nobody
named Blake either.
You understand
what I'm saying to you?
Hey, big fella,
we don't want no hassle.
Then stay out of it.
We're just having
a good time here.
You met my buddy Blake.
He's having a good time.
Come on, now. Take it easy.
If I told you once,
I told you a thousand times...
it ain't right.
It just ain't right!
Goddamn it.
Goddamn it!
Excuse me.
How's it going?
It's gonna be all right.
Let me see. Come here.
You got hit.
Who are you?
Joe Santo.
Santo.
I'm sorry.
I just came in here--
Hey, were you
really curling champion?
That thing with the ice
and the brooms?
Yep. Why don't you wash off?
I'm sure you'll be all right.
We'll wait for you outside, OK?
All right. Good.
Sorry I wasn't here to help.
Hey, Blake, is this house
for sale or what?
No, not exactly.
It's my parents' house.
They on vacation?
No. They're dead.
Then it's yours.
No, it's theirs.
If they're dead,
it's got to be yours.
Shut up, you asshole.
Do you know that you have
the most gorgeous collection...
of cut glass out there?
That's my grandmother
you're looking at there.
That was her favorite chair.
Look, Mary...
that whole thing
ought to be in a museum.
Hey, Craig!
Been looking for you. Lunch.
How you feeling?
Got up a little late.
I wish you'd wind your clock
every once in a while.
I had to beat 'em
with ol' Lester here.
- The big server.
- Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
I assume
you acquired that ear...
on one of your more peculiar
pursuits of higher meaning?
That's right.
Don't y'all ever get tired of
these damn club sandwiches?
I'm gonna order hash
up here one day.
They wouldn't serve it to you.
Harold!
I want some
red flannel hash, Harold.
Guess whose hands
are over your eyes...
and win yourself
a sweet surprise.
Amy, don't encourage him.
Golda Meir.
No, you big silly,
but you get a kiss anyway.
Listen, dearies,
I am having the awfulest time...
finding an authentic
for my party this year.
Can't some
of you young bucks help?
Like that one-man band guy
that fell in his drum?
No. You know, anything
authentic for the bridge room.
Craig, be a muffin
and find something for me...
will you, honey?
You got the right man, Amy.
He knows every weirdo in town.
That's three horses.
What?
You can send me a check, Halsey.
You bet.
Wait up a sec.
I'll walk out with you.
Don't bother.
I'll let you know
when I've got it wrapped up.
You sure, now?
Eleven.
Good. Come on, now.
Push it up.
Stand it up. Twelve.
Twelve.
Twelve.
You should've had fifteen.
Them judges will read
them quadriceps like road maps.
How's the promotion going?
Good. Good.
Got 40 entries already.
Good.
Guys coming in
from all over the country...
but there ain't a one of 'em
gonna be able to touch you...
by the time we get through.
They talk about
that Doug Stewart from Amarillo.
Well, Doug Stewart
is gonna mess up his britches...
when he sees you.
Because with your body,
my know-how...
we're going all the way.
Where's all the way?
Don't give me
that mealy-mouthed crap, Santo.
A month from now...
you'll be rich as cream
and feeling fine.
I feel fine already.
Why don't you put
some weight on the bar, pussy?
Hey, man. Thor, here.
Are you here for a workout?
- Maybe.
- Great.
Santo, come on. Let's go.
I was hoping you and l
could talk a little business.
Yeah? What kind of business?
I was curious if you'd--
I ain't got
no time for curiosity.
Besides, this is Saturday.
You want to see me,
call me during business hours.
Hey. He's been drinking.
Blake, now...
Santo's got bicep femoris
to think about.
Now, by God,
you better not bother him.
Make the thighs burn.
Good.
You can't grow without burning.
It's the repetition
that defines the muscle.
Do it faster.
Get the blood into the legs.
Come on. Just keep
the tension on the pecs.
Yes. Isn't it much harder?
I think we had something
like this at school.
I'm not sure
I still got the form down here.
Tell me if I'm doing this right.
Is that it?
I never do that one.
Say...
what is this Batman routine
of yours?
Is that for concentration
or what?
Not really.
I think it's funny.
It adds a little humor
to the workouts.
You should have seen me
last year.
I wore a frogman outfit.
Everybody was laughing.
Just keep
right on talking, Santo.
Remember,
they don't judge lip muscles.
They judge thighs,
they judge legs...
they judge backs, but no lips.
I can't wait until
this whole thing is over, man.
Be sure and turn them lights off
before you leave.
Say, what is there,
one Mr. Something after another?
How about galaxy?
Is there a Mr. Galaxy?
Listen, I don't care about
these titles.
But if I win this one,
I could make enough money...
to pay Thor back
all the debts I owe him.
What kind of debts?
He's the one who brought me
over here from Austria.
He got me a working permit...
helped me with the visa,
things like that.
Anyway,
I could pay him back...
with the money
I make from endorsements.
Endorsements.
That's like selling your name,
isn't it?
Yeah, but it doesn't bother me.
Names don't mean
any more to me than titles.
I've got some relatives
who'd argue with you about that.
Terrible sign, isn't it?
No. I like it.
Good-bye, Mother.
- Whose old car's that?
- I'll introduce you.
Joe Santo,
Mary Tate Farnsworth...
Dorothy Stephens.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Hi. Right back at you, hon.
Had your breakf--I'm sorry!
Gosh, that was alive, isn't it?
Everybody smile.
All right. Come on, Bill.
Let's go down this way.
What was your father?
He was a sculptor and a teacher.
Excuse me for being so direct.
I've always heard that...
that...
people of
your profession were...
Homosexual?
Uh-huh.
I can only
speak for myself...
but if you want me
to prove it...
- More fish?
- No.
Do you know
the Russian writer Turgenev?
He's so moving.
I just feel too much, Joe.
See, the Junior League--
Which, by the way, Craig,
I'm no longer a member of--
The Junior League
teaches you to...
to respect and to love
all of God's little creatures.
Even this little thing here.
The boat's back.
I'm gonna ski the course, Joe.
That's a wonderful idea.
I think I'll go, too.
Why don't you stay here
and keep me company?
I think I'm going, too.
I'll see y'all later.
- What's the course?
- Slalom, downriver.
- Mind if I come with you?
- You know how?
I'll give it a try.
How'd you get so good?
I had to do something
to get out of Prattville.
Did you ski professionally?
Skied Cypress Gardens last year.
Best damn time I ever had.
You'll never get up on that.
Use this one.
All right. Why'd you quit?
I didn't. I broke my ankle.
Wait, Mary Tate.
Let me explain about Dorothy.
Hey, look. You don't have
to worry about me.
I won't mess
with your little lady.
That's not what I meant.
Then what did you mean?
Dorothy and l, we've been...
We've been friends
for a long time. This is--
Hey, Swamp...
that's a real pretty house
you live in.
I've been meaning
to tell you that.
To hell with the course.
Let's just ski.
Your friend Buell,
he taught me a lovely song.
Y'all want to hear my song?
Oh, God. What a song.
Oh
Oh, my number's one
And the fun has just begun
Roll me over, lay me down
Do it again
Roll me over in the clover
I'm not getting out of the car.
I had too good of a time.
Me, too. Thank you, Joe.
What a lovely day.
Craig, do you mind
taking Mary Tate home?
Uh... no.
Good night, honey.
Get a good night's rest.
Well, what about her foot?
Why don't you put the top up?
It's getting chilly.
Joe, thanks a lot.
Oh, Craig.
Dorothy, I'll see you tomorrow.
Isn't that
what they call pimping?
There's no telling where
you're taking me now.
I'll take you
to the Dobbs House...
to get us
some eggs and some coffee.
Sure. Sure.
Well, the Dobbs House
is not where I want to go.
Mary Tate?
Mary Tate?
How's that foot of yours?
It's OK.
Let me take a look at it.
Does this hurt here
when I do that?
A little.
Here, relax your foot.
Did you know
every part of the foot...
corresponds
to a part of the body?
Did you know that?
Here's your spine right here.
Feel that?
And your lungs over here.
And here's your liver.
You may not be able
to feel this, but that's it.
That's your liver.
Where's my mouth?
It's right here.
Hey...
you lied to me.
What?
You told me
you was a businessman.
Shoot.
You ain't no businessman.
You look like some kind
of white hunter to me.
Oh, those.
You really like
the way you look, huh?
That's about all I've got
to show for the last two years.
Those were all new experiences.
I just hung those pictures
up there...
to remember
what getting them was like.
Oh.
You understand, don't you?
I think I can handle it.
Excuse me, sir.
Oh, no.
William, it's all right.
This is Mary Tate Farnsworth.
How about some breakfast?
In bed, sir?
Well, no, we'll have it
in the dining room for a change.
Yes, sir.
What's the deal
between you and Joe?
There ain't no deal.
What does that mean?
I kind of got the impression
he set this whole thing up.
Oh, you think so.
Well, nobody sets me up.
Breakfast is ready, Mr. Blake!
Joe and I lived together once,
that's all.
- No brothers?
- Nope.
- No sisters?
- No.
Cousins?
I've got 137 cousins.
Where do they all fit
at Christmas time?
They all live around here,
up in the hill here.
Downtown we call this
the mountain.
I know.
How'd your folks die?
They were on their way
to North Carolina...
in my father's plane.
Pilot flew into a mountain
in the fog.
I was camped up
on Pyramid Peak...
at the time in the Rockies.
They were dead for two weeks...
before my uncle
finally located me.
And then I moved in here
in November.
How come you need
such a big place?
Well, I don't.
It's... it's just that...
it's been in the family
for so long...
And you don't know what
to do with it, do you?
No.
William, I'm sorry.
It was a mistake.
Everything's fine.
The biscuits still warm, sir?
Everything's fine.
Listen, he's working on it.
Now, that much I know.
But he hasn't
actually bought it yet, huh?
I don't know. I haven't seen him
in a couple of days.
He might've been out of town.
It's been ten days, see...
and we got this architect
over in Atlanta...
keeps billing us...
just like he don't know
who Craig Blake is.
Now, all of us know...
Ol' Craig is slicker
than snot on a doorknob.
But if he's having any trouble
with that dude...
you tell him.
If that's what the problem is...
we could help out some way.
Yeah, I'll tell him.
You do that, Hal.
Deal up there, Walter Jr.
Five-card stud.
Same as what we were playing.
I was winning.
I'm anted up.
My red's right there.
Give me a good hand,
will you, Walt Jr.?
I'm tired of losing.
You didn't eat
your fortune cookie.
I never read
my fortune cookies.
Give it to me, then,
I want it.
No. It's mine.
I save them. Don't.
I have a whole trunkful of
Chinese fortune cookies at home.
When I'm old, one day
I'm gonna open them all up...
and see how my life turned out.
Hey, Swamp...
Baby, come here.
Come over here.
Look at that picture...
on the second floor,
right there in the middle.
- You like that?
- Yeah, I do.
Just wait right there, sugar.
What you mean, wait?
Hello?
Hello?
Hey, friend...
what do you call that action?
Trying to take
a painting off a wall.
I'd tend to call it stealing.
It's not stolen yet.
What did you do,
rivet it on here?
I can't get security.
Damn switchboard's closed.
You're working late, aren't you?
There we go.
Who the hell are you, anyway?
You can't be a burglar.
There's something familiar
about your face.
I am, too, a burglar.
Hell, no, you're not. Hey!
You're one of the Blakes.
It just came to me.
I've seen your picture
a hundred times...
in the social pages.
I even had a date
with your cousin Victoria once.
I'm Fred Kroop.
Fred Kroop?
No, you got the wrong fella.
Hey!
You got to sign out.
I never did sign in.
You can't be here
unless you signed in.
Now, sign out.
Look, like I told you,
I forgot to sign in.
Where'd you get that picture?
From a fella named Kroop.
Look, if it's
that important to you...
I'll sign in and out
at the same time, how's that?
What you'll do is come with me
up to Mr. Kroop's office.
Something ain't right here.
I've got an appointment to make.
Something definitely
ain't right.
All right,
let's make this quick.
Hey!
You are crazy.
You're absolutely crazy.
Some flowers for m'lady.
Let's get out of here.
It's sunflowers.
I thought it was a lion.
You'd never, ever, ever
get away with this...
in Prattville,
I'll tell you that right now.
- Be very cool.
- Never.
You know why?
Because my daddy was sheriff,
that's why.
Let's get out of here.
Come on. Come on.
Wait, you don't even
like this thing?
Sir, take this
to the nearest museum...
will you please?
Thank you very much.
Did you see what that crazy
son of a bitch gave me, huh?
Well, I'll take it.
OK, square the shoulders...
keep it tight down.
Now, shoulders back...
Keep the hip inside...
Tie the belt. Good girl.
OK, shoulders...
Down. Get down further.
Get down further.
OK, on defense...
70%of the weight
is in the back.
OK, ladies, let me
show it to you again, OK?
All right,
let's try it again.
Line up.
Terrific, terrific.
Pathetic. Take a break.
Say the precepts.
Ding-a-ling.
I don't know if it's me, them,
or I'm a bad teacher.
They can't even get position one
after three months of class.
But when they do get it,
look out.
They'll wipe out Birmingham
and everybody in it.
- Mrs. Clyde?
- Yeah.
She had an argument
with her husband...
about who's gonna take
the child to school.
So she chops him one
right in his private area.
Now they all want black belts.
Pretty soon they'll have
to invent a new color.
Gold, maybe or... pink.
How are things on the mountain?
Oh, Anita,
we're having the best time.
You know what we do?
We go outside--
Good. I'm glad
somebody's life is terrific.
Very nice,
Mrs. Clyde, very nice.
Thank you.
Ladies, let's see if
we can do as well as last time.
Here are your supplies
you asked for.
Goddamn it, Newton!
How many times
I have to tell you...
knock before you come in here.
Damn it,
I was doing my pushups.
All right, Joe, can you handle
a little more weight?
Here I come. Open up!
Ain't he wonderful?
Don't you just love him?
Joe, when are you gonna
take that mask off?
Oh, Joe...
I missed you.
There's my man.
How you been, Hal?
Fine, Craig, fine.
You expecting buffalo
up this way, or what?
No. Just a little maintenance.
Come on in.
You're looking good, Hal.
You're looking
all right yourself, Craig.
How are you?
Well, I've been busy.
Pretty busy.
Some of us have got
to earn a living, you know?
Why are you eating
that carrot like that?
It's good for your jaw muscles.
I eat ten of
these little suckers a day.
- Here, try it.
- No, hey--
- Craig, here.
- It's healthy for you.
No... Iook, Craig,
what the hell is going on?
Jabo and those guys
won't wait forever, you know.
It's been almost two weeks.
You don't come to meetings--
I've been down there.
He doesn't want to sell.
Oh, great.
Besides, I'm not too interested
in this deal anymore.
You're not too interested.
Listen, buddy,
You better get interested...
because you got my tail
in a crack down there.
Don't you know
what kind of guys these are?
I know--
They'll have our legs broken
or something.
What the hell
am I gonna tell them?
Tell 'em everything
is fine as wine, Hal.
I don't give a damn
what you tell 'em.
What's all the fussing
about in here?
Mary Tate Farnsworth,
Hal Foss.
How are you?
Everything's fine, baby.
We're just doing
a little business here.
Why don't you go take a bath?
Well, what kind of business?
Go and take your bath,
will you please?
OK, Craig, now I understand...
but listen, Craig...
this whole thing
is too big a deal...
for you to blow
over a little tail...
even if it does
look like that one.
Ease off, Hal.
Come on.
Hey, don't you think...
you're taking
this attraction of yours...
to other types of people
too far?
Ease off, mother.
Come on, man,
take a look at yourself.
Stop it.
Look, you're up here in
your parents' house...
you're letting people
down on deals...
while you whoremonger
around with broads--
I ought to kick
your ass for that, boy.
Listen to me, damn it.
I'm telling you
as a friend, Craig...
you have got to get
yourself on track.
- Ka-ra-te!
- Grow up, will you?
I could take your eye out...
Iike popping an olive
out of a bottle, boy.
Kill your ass
deader than a snapper.
You're pitiful, you know that?
You are really pitiful.
Everything OK down there?
Yeah.
Who was he, anyway?
Ohh... just a friend.
Why don't ol' William
answer that phone?
He's hard of hearing.
Forget it.
I know who it is, anyway.
One thing I can't stand is
a phone that don't quit ringing.
Listen, Mary...
do you think
Thor would ever sell the spa?
No. He still thinks
it's gonna make him rich.
Hoop looks better on me,
doesn't it?
Yeah.
It doesn't look like he's doing
much business down there.
You know, the first thing...
The first thing that...
people give up
during a recession...
is their membership
in clubs like that.
I'm sorry. My dance card's
completely filled.
You know,
I've always wondered...
how you ladies
get out of these things.
My dance card just emptied.
No!
William. Get up.
William...
What are you doing?
I'm quitting,
that's what I'm doing.
You aren't serious, are you?
Yes, sir, I'm serious.
And I'd like
to tell you something.
Your grandmama...
your grandmama,
bless her soul...
if she could see what
you're doing down here...
in her living room
where she entertained...
quality-born
ladies and gentlemen...
she'd come out of
that picture on the wall...
and drive a butcher knife
through your heart...
and I would help her!
Disgrace!
What's the matter with him?
William...
William.
You been with us for 52 years.
Yes, sir.
Fifty-two long, good years.
But no more.
Come on, Willie.
And I'm taking everything
that belongs to me.
Your grandmama left me
a lot of stuff in her will.
She left me this here, too.
Don't worry, honey.
I'll be back to get you...
and I'm gonna take
your poor blind eyes outta here.
You hear? I'll be back.
Dear Craig...
traditionally,
your Uncle Henry has been...
the Blake family's
most notable black sheep.
You seem to be coming up
fast on the outside.
I'll be returning
from South Africa...
in time to attend
Amy Walterson's party.
I assume you'll be there.
Fondest regards, Uncle Albert.
Come on. Let's go.
Still don't feel like telling me
where you're taking me?
Relax.
Hey, Joe! By doggies!
I haven't seen you
in a month of Sundays.
I wasn't expecting you
down here now.
That's my friend, Craig Blake.
This is Tom Haley.
- How do you do, Mr. Haley?
- I'm glad to know you.
Pleased to meet you.
My pleasure.
Why don't you go on around
where they're tuning up...
and we'll be around there
in a little bit.
Hey, son. Where you from?
Birmingham.
Birmingham? Oh, man.
They don't even whistle
down there anymore.
You know what that is
you're listening at?
No, sir,
I can't really say that I do.
That's true stick fiddling.
When you play it on a stand
or off the music...
it's not called stick fiddling.
It's called a violin.
Now, Joe there,
when he first come out...
he asked if he could look on...
and see how
he's using that bow now?
That's not just looking on.
Real authentic, huh?
I reckon you could
call it that if you want to.
Oh, yes, sir.
You are full of surprises,
I tell you.
- That's what life is all about.
- I don't know what you are.
I think I wanted to show off
today, that's all.
You fellas are fantastic.
I love that.
You realize
I had absolutely no intention--
Hey, that's cool.
No, but do you really--
I've never seen her happier.
It's terrific.
I've heard about this stuff
all my life.
Kind of grows on you,
doesn't it?
Yeah. But it's like
a lot of good things.
Can get too much
of it in a hurry.
Better be careful.
I have been careful all my life.
Yes. Come.
See, Anita, every time
anything's bothering you...
what you want to do is sweat.
Now what's this?
The door's unlocked.
It's just Thor upstairs
balling a goat or something.
Hey! Who in the hell are you?!
Who the hell are you?
Just what are you doing?
I'm just fixing
this air conditioner up here.
Uh-huh. Who asked you?
Murray! Bones!
Y'all get down here!
You watch him, Anita.
Looks like we got company.
Yeah, you do.
Is it a cop?
You're gonna wish I was.
Who the hell are you guys?
You sure don't look like no cop.
Watch him!
Get him, Murray! Get him!
Anita! Hit the lights!
Gonna eat you up, boy.
Get the goddamn lights!
Look at what we got here.
Our little buddy from the club.
What the hell you guys
doing this for anyway?
Shut up.
Oh, yeah.
When I took this job,
it was for money...
but now, I'm gonna get me
some real pleasure.
You hurt her downstairs,
and you're d--
Well, I think I better be
getting on, little lady.
Now, you be good, you hear?
Hotshot pool player, huh?
Well, let's see
how good you are.
Left ball in the side pocket.
Y'all watch out.
She's Jap or something.
Jap my ass.
Get out of the door, lady.
We don't want to hurt no lady.
Franklin! Are you all right?
Jabo didn't say nothing
about no karate!
Customers can't use the place.
If I don't get it
fixed right now...
they're gonna sue class action.
Damn it! I can't even afford
to stage the contest now.
And that's gonna break
Joe's heart.
How much are the damages?
You see,
these people down here...
Mary Tate, Franklin, Newton...
they're like my own children.
I helped every one--
Thor, how much are the damages?
What with
the air conditioning and all...
it comes to 5,000.
- 5,000?
- To get it fixed right.
Why are you so interested
in all of this, Blake?
Well, I was thinking...
If I could help you out,
I'd lend you the money.
You wouldn't happen
to know nothing about...
who them skunks were,
would you?
Jesus--
What do you want for the loan?
An l. O.U.
Look, do you want
the money or not?
Blake, you ol' son of a gun.
Me and you's just alike,
ain't we?
We just need to help people.
Have a sip.
Swamp?
I forgot to tell you.
William came by today...
and he took
that old piece of armor...
and he took your horse, too.
Said you owed it to him.
Bath's ready.
Not now, Mary Tate, OK?
You sure?
Yeah, I'm sure!
What do you want to do then?
I want to sit
in the goddamn chair...
is what I want to do!
OK!
Swamp...
all you gotta do
is just sit there.
Just be.
Mary...
I love you.
Great.
Do me a favor, baby?
Carry my compact for me?
- Can't, doll.
- How come? You got pockets.
It'll bulge, damn it.
Carry it yourself.
Well, I didn't want to take
my pocketbook...
but that's OK.
I won't take it.
- I don't need it.
- Yeah, right.
Oh, gosh,
I hope Joe does good.
He's gonna do fine.
He plays the fiddle,
doesn't he?
I'm so excited.
Well, how do I look?
Oh, shoot, my clips.
You look beautiful.
- Do l?
- Yeah.
Do I really?
Are you kidding, baby?
You look fantastic.
You don't look bad yourself.
Don't you worry.
This is gonna be fun for us.
Come on, let's go.
We're late.
- All right.
- Come on!
Hi, Craig.
How you doing?
Good to see you.
Victoria, look at you.
Don't you look lovely?
Craig, it's so good to see you.
I haven't seen you in weeks.
- Where have you been?
- I've been all over.
Victoria, I want you to meet
Mary Tate Farnsworth.
- Hello. How are you?
- Hi. I'm fine.
Will you excuse us?
I see my man over there.
Of course.
Good to have seen you again.
See you later. Bye-bye.
Oh, watch it.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
Boy, you sure got some
peaked-looking relatives.
Hey, partner.
Where'd you get these duds?
Rented them.
Guaranteed authentic.
Well, you look really sharp.
Look at these people.
Now, this is
what you call class.
How are you, Mary Tate?
Excuse me.
I got a relative to say hi to.
I'll be right back.
Uncle Albert.
Good evening, sir.
What's the matter
with you, baby?
Well, don't you think this dress
is a little bit out of place?
So what if it is?
It doesn't matter to me.
Least I don't look
like Buffalo Bill.
Is my dress really all right?
Sweetheart, I told you...
your dress just looks
pretty unusual.
You look lovely.
You both look fine.
Craig! Craig, darling!
How are you?
Here's our hostess.
Amy, give us a kiss.
Craigie.
Why, Mr. Santo, I just want to
tell you how delighted I am...
that you and your paramour
could join us this evening.
And, Craig, you were just a
perfect muffin to get him here.
- Me and my what?
- Your little friend here.
Miss Farnsworth is Craig's
little friend, Mrs. Waterson.
In the interest
of clarity, Amy.
I see.
He has extraordinary
musculature.
Yeah, it really takes
a hell of a lot of dedication...
to work out like that.
Thank you.
In a couple of weeks he's gonna
be the new Mr. Universe.
Why don't y'all
come and meet him?
I think you'll enjoy that.
Yeah. I'd like that.
Joe, you got a second?
I want you to meet some
fans of yours here.
Richard Packman,
Mr. Joe Santo.
Now, easy, big fella.
He got my drinking hand.
He's a big'un, isn't he?
Is that young lady
your latest?
Well, she's really more
a friend of Joe Santo's.
Yes?
Well, a friend
of mine and his.
I see.
Craig...
Yes, Uncle Albert?
What happens to body builders
when they get old?
They die.
This little gal here--
I've known her since I was 11.
She's the only lady
in this whole club...
ever to work her way into
a men's doubles game... and win.
Zoe, this is--
Let me introduce myself, Craig.
That's a marvelous idea.
All right.
I'll see you later.
Who's that? How come
I don't get to meet her?
- You'll meet her later.
- Don't pull my arm.
Who's buying the bourbon here?
I'm the guilty party.
Come on. I'll show you
around this place.
Say, what do y'all
think of my buddy?
Leave it to ol' Craig here.
Amy asked him to come up
with a musical act...
and he comes up with a freak.
- Nice work, Craig.
- What'd he say?
Well...
easy on the names,
huh, Halsey?
Hello, everybody.
Look who's here. Dorothy.
I just saw Joe outside.
He's a man of so many talents.
You remember Mary Tate.
Of course I remember
Mary Tate--
the little
water ski girl.
I want a word
with you, buddy.
- You do?
- Yes, I do. Right now.
- Craig--
- Wait for me.
Just talk to Dorothy.
Chub, I want a bourbon here.
When did you turn
vandal anyway?
Now, wait now. I didn't have
anything to do with that...
and you know it,
but I warned you.
Those guys
are a natural force.
What did you expect?
What?
Well, that did it.
I'm through, you hear?
Fine. That's just fine.
You just back out and leave me
to pick up all the pieces...
and all my money tied up
in some two-bit jewelry store.
You can't get out now.
I can get out whenever I feel.
You have no concern
for obligations.
- You have--
- Obligations?
Yes, obligations.
To what?
To busting up the spa?
You owe this to me.
You owe it to yourself.
Don't you understand that?
What am I supposed to do?
I understand that you
got yourself mixed up...
with a bunch
of thieves, buddy.
Easy, boys. Easy.
Hey, easy.
Hey, give me a drink here,
will you, chub?
Hey, suavey,
there's supposed to be a show.
It's gonna start
here in a minute.
Now, you'd better go pry
that big fella away from Zoe...
or there ain't
gonna be no show.
There's gonna be a show,
all right--
Mr. Universe on the violin.
- Hey, does he take requests?
- Will he take his shirt off?
Will he show us his tits?
What the hell's
the matter with you?
He could crush you
like an eggshell, Halsey.
You are sick!
Now, who do you think
you're messing with?
I am messing with
a pencil-neck midget, I believe.
Hit me if you're gonna hit me,
boy, come on.
Wait a minute!
This is between Craig and me!
Shut up!
Come on! Cool it!
- He's gone.
- Get outta here!
Yeah.
Listen, let's get us
a drink...
and then we'll have us
some damn entertainment.
Good to see you.
Joe, when you play, you ought to
be up here, up front...
and you fellas
just kind of...
That's it.
That looks good.
Why don't you let
us take care of this...
and you look after
Mary Tate?
OK.
Too much alcohol.
Mary Tate?
Who's that you're with?
Lester,
how's everything going?
Well, hello, suavey.
I was just telling Mary Tate
here how fine everything is.
Except those damn Jap tools.
They are killing us, Craig.
They're cheaper than ours...
but they do not have
the life in them.
They don't have
the tensile strength--
- Mary Tate, let's go.
- They got nothing.
- Joe's playing inside.
- Well, I'm playing outside.
Glad everything's fine, Lester.
Fine? It's a hell of
a lot better than fine.
Lester, let me see your lighter
again, honey, will you?
Which pocket's it in, honey?
Look at this. Read that.
"Zero defects."
Zero defects.
Well, this boy Lester here,
you know...
he ain't got a goddamned one.
And you know what else?
There's only five other men...
in the entire state
with that pin.
Just five, huh, Lester?
Well, it's for my factory,
not just for me.
That's just terrific, Lester.
Isn't that terrific?
All right! All right!
Thank you.
Thank you, indeed!
Thank me. Thank you.
Everybody having
a good time?
- Yes!
- Good, good!
What? I can't stand
that racket.
Turn to page 93
in the green hymnals.
Sing now!
You dance divinely.
Come on, everybody.
Let's hear it...
for the Muscle Beach
Symphony Orchestra!
Sorry, Tom.
Sorry, fellas. Sorry, guys.
We'll get together
again soon.
OK.
That's it for tonight, folks.
Thank you.
Hey, Craig!
Come out and--
Would you give this check
back to our hostess, please?
- You can't quit now.
- I'll tell you what...
Come on. Let's give him
a standing ovulation.
He deserves it.
Hey, hold on there
a minute now.
You wouldn't want to have
an argument now, would you?
Hey, it's done.
- It's done?
- It's done.
- What'd you do to him?
- Kiss off. What do you care?
Put your hand
down his pants?
You've been ugly with me
all night. All night!
I talked dirty to him.
He wanted to be sexy,
only he didn't know how.
These people...
Come on. We're going in
to see Joe.
I don't want
to go back in there.
All right, we can go home,
and you can talk dirty to me.
You bring me here.
You ignore me all night.
You act like somebody
I don't even know.
You go back in there
and watch Joe!
Lester, here's your lighter.
Stay out of this.
She's had too much to drink.
You stay out of it!
I have not!
You have been acting the fool
all night, Craig Blake.
I'm through with you.
You're the one who's overdone
the drinking, boy!
Zero defects.
- Yeah, zero defects--
- Bullshit!
- Do you know where Joe is?
- Take it easy, will you?
Go away.
Lady, do you know
where Joe went?
What? Your friend?
I'm afraid your friend left.
He wouldn't do that
without saying good-bye.
Come
on now. Calm down.
Where'd he go, damn it!
He left!
Craig, this young person
is disturbing my party.
Seriously disturbing my party.
I know.
We're leaving right now, Amy.
- We're going. OK.
- Thank you very much.
Just a little excitement.
Don't worry about it.
I've seen it happen...
in service clubs
all over the world.
That shower makes me
feel so much better.
How you feeling, baby?
I'm leaving.
Baby, that was your
first party like that.
Now, you're bound
to be a little edgy.
I did it for them.
I wanted them to meet him...
And I wanted them to meet you.
Because you're so real!
You know?
You're so different.
Baby--
Don't touch me.
I was proud of you.
Now, can't you see that?
All these pictures
here on the wall...
these experiences
you said you had.
You don't want me.
You want another trophy
for your wall...
Baby, now don't go flying
off at the handle.
And I'm not one of 'em.
Mary Tate!
I loved you, Craig!
Mary--
I really loved you!
Can't we even talk about this?
Now wait! Wait a minute!
Where are you going?
You don't even have
all your stuff!
Stay out of my way.
I don't want to hurt you!
Baby!
Mary Tate!
I need you!
Baby, I need you!
Mary Tate!
Your mother's brother Henry
had this pet goat as a child.
He never got over it.
When he got out of college...
and it was time for him
to go into the business...
Henry wouldn't have
any of it.
All he wanted to do
was to be around goats.
So, your grandfather
invited him to leave home...
and Henry eventually
wound up in Jamaica.
He started that goat farm
down there with four animals.
You know what it is now.
Baa baa baa baa--
all over the place.
Now, the point is
that to make...
anything meaningful
out of a life...
it really doesn't
matter what you do...
only that you
do something...
and do it unsparingly.
Look...
Uncle Albert...
I appreciate this visit
and the bits of family history.
I'm just a little
strung out now.
Is that what you call it?
Craig...
why don't you shit
or get off the pot?
I suppose you're right.
What do you look at?
Squirrels.
I never had a goat as a child.
50" chest. 19" arm.
281/2" waist.
Medium height class.
Next.
Dave Drew.
5'10". 210 pounds.
49" chest.
19" arm. 30" waist.
You entering
as a medium or a tall?
What's this guy Santo going in?
Tall.
Put me in the medium.
Smart choice. Next.
Hey, where's your boy?
You hiding him out or what?
He's cooling out
down on some island...
and you're gonna see him sooner
than you want to there, Zwick.
How about a picture?
You got a picture of the guy?
Hey, looks like
you been hitting...
them traps pretty
hard there, Stewart.
Not now, Laverne.
Hey, what the hell
kind of language is that?
It's a language he invented.
He's my little brother.
He's a genius.
We talk that way
to keep things private.
It gives me the creeps.
He gives me the creeps.
Besides, I like the way...
you're always cultivating
interesting new people.
I thought they were nice.
I really did.
And I can certainly understand
your attraction...
to that little country girl.
She was sweet.
You want some iced tea?
Craig, I'm so glad you came.
I knew you'd get over
all that silliness.
You look like
your old self again.
Can we go to Anniston
this weekend?
Tootie and Charles have some
English friends in town...
and Becky Farr's driving in
from Nashville.
Don't you understand?
She's not coming in.
Why? Just because
she split the blanket...
with that pretty boy Blake?
Now, you tell her
I'll take care of her.
You know how I feel
about Mary Tate.
Sure, I do.
Thor, there's a guy downstairs.
Says he wants to talk to you.
I'm busy!
He ain't here to take out
no membership.
This guy's a dude. Said he's got
a business proposition for you.
I'll be down in a minute.
How come Joe ain't back?
Tomorrow's the contest.
He'll be back.
I talked to him last night.
Run on over to the auditorium
and check out the lights.
I don't want nothing
to go wrong, do you hear me?
Do I look deaf?
- Newton?
- Yeah!
You see this here money?
Sit down,
right here in my chair.
Keep your hands on that shoebox
and your eye on that door...
and don't you move till
I get back. Do you understand?
When Joe wins
this prize money...
there's a big bonus
in it for you.
What can I do for you?
Mr. Erikson.
Jabo,
your license number 67163?
- 64.
- 64.
Say, this guy's here on business
from Cleveland, say.
Poor bastard missed
a connection in Atlanta...
been traveling all day long...
and he checks into this place
around 9:00 at night.
He's tired. He don't feel good.
Know what I mean?
So what's he gonna do?
I'll tell you what.
He don't know how to get him
no ass in Birmingham...
so what's he gonna do?
He's gonna head for a parlor
every time. You know that.
Get him a little bit
of rub-a-dub-dub...
and who knows what-all?
Now, ain't I right?
You better believe it, boy.
Now see, we picked you out
Of over a hundred fellas...
to run this operation
'cause you got class.
Don't bother.
It's only gonna ring once.
All you gotta do
is sell your little business...
to our good buddy
Craig Blake...
and then we're gonna
set you up...
as the massage parlor king
of Alabama.
Craig Blake?
You boys gonna do business
with that little fleabite?
You going broke.
Now, listen.
I appreciate your offer...
but I gotta have some time
to think about it.
Here are the ladies.
- Hi.
- Hello, hello.
I thought you might like to meet
some of the ladies...
who might be working for you.
Audition them, you might say.
What's fun for two...
is more for four.
I know you're jiving.
Look, why don't you
hold on for a minute?
Maybe we oughta
show these girls...
some exercises
we do around here.
Let's kind
of work into this.
Girls...
Flower, Mae Ruth...
I want to tell you...
that there ain't no common
ordinary nigra.
There is Wamba.
Jungle bomb. Honeypot.
Come on, y'all.
Let's get naked!
Jabo said to treat
these boys right.
Now we'd better do it.
Yeah, but if we--
Now I don't mind learning about
lifting them weights and all...
but I sure as hell
gonna have my privacy.
And Flower, too.
That's right,'cause me
and Wamba want to be alone.
But you're
not gonna whip me...
with that thing,
are you, honey?
No. Who in the hell
is Wamba?
Ain't she something else, man?
Hey, and I want to know...
y'all are having a good time
in there now, by God.
Warm her up. Go on!
I might come in and try her out
myself a little later.
Go on!
You know, I was
telling Mae Ruth...
I never had
no nigra date before.
You want me to get naked?
Sure. Sure.
Get naked if you want to.
Don't take your pants off!
Keep your pants on.
Lay down on your stomach.
Face down. Face down.
Hey, what are you gonna do
with that thing?
Trust me.
Isn't this fun?
OK now, graymeat...
what you thought
you was gonna get...
you could get
from anybody crazy enough...
to fool with
your worthless behind.
There. But I'm giving you
something you can't find...
nowhere else.
Now where'd you get
these things from?
The mail order house?
Who's been taking care
of this skin of yours, child?
No color.
You know, I was an acrobat
when I was a little girl.
I got real good.
Mama finally took me into town
and gave me lessons.
So I'll tell you something.
It hasn't hurt me much
in my professional life.
There. Now see,
we can do this here all night...
right on up until
he pass out in there.
I'm gonna throw
300 pounds of iron...
through that door
if you don't open it up.
Hold it. I gotta get up.
She's good.
And you'd better keep
your mouth shut, you hear?
Not a word.
I'm coming through.
We've been going to town.
Wamba!
Where's that
electrical massager?
Down at the bottom.
I had to tie her up
as soon as she come in here.
I'm gonna hang this night up
on the wall and frame it!
By God.
Her friend taught me tricks
you wouldn't believe.
This nigra's
trying to kill me.
Old tricks. New tricks.
I'm coming through. Hike!
I'm running a little late.
I think I'll just grab a taxi.
I'll drive you over.
I'd like to see...
that pageant
or whatever it is.
I don't think
it would interest you.
Thanks for the trip.
That's all? Just thanks?
That's all I have.
The plane leaves again
tomorrow, lovey.
Come on, come on out here.
Now, cut that out now.
Now, I can't deny
that you're underpaid.
Here, gimme.
$20 for you,
and $20 for you.
Come on, let's get out
of here. Come on.
Bonus money.
Now, you girls are lucky.
I've seen Thor keep girls
up here three or four days...
before he even think about
passing out. Come on, girls.
Our next contestant
in the short class:
it's the great
Sardinian warrior--
Franco Orsini!
Hey, which way is backstage?
Backstage? This way.
All right, mediums, let's go!
Hey, we got any mediums in here?
Come on, line up.
Hey, any of you fellas
seen Joe Santo?
Hey, George, get out there.
I told you.
Come on. Come on.
Are you the stage manager?
Hey, Leroy,
I told you five minutes.
Do you know where
Joe Santo is?
He's not a medium!
Hey, you're number three.
Get out there.
I don't know. Number two.
Hey, asshole.
How many poses we got to do--
seven or eight?
Eight poses.
Any of you see
Joe Santo around?
Yes. Try next door.
Thank you.
What do you mean mediums?
We need five more minutes.
Hey, Joe.
Do the four steps. You know,
one knee, it should do it.
How are you?
Glad to see you.
And don't forget,
keep tensing the thighs.
Did you have
a good time with Zoe?
Fine. All right.
Think you'll see her again?
Nope.
Why not?
I don't like being
too comfortable.
Once you get used to it,
It's hard to give up.
I'd rather stay hungry.
Hey, Santo. When are you gonna
show me what you got?
Terrific, Doug.
Are you going to do that
on stage?
You'll see when we
get out there.
Your peanuts, Joe.
Hey, Franklin.
Is it authentic enough
for you back here?
What's on your mind?
That's why I came over here
to talk to you--
Moe Zwick,
rhymes with quick.
That's my boy over there.
Laverne,
there's oil on the floor.
Look, I've been worrying
a little bit about Erikson.
Now, I'm not implying
that he would head south...
with all that entry money,
but him not being here...
just makes me nervous,
you know?
And I'm not usually
a nervous individual.
Mae Ruth.
Mae Ruth!
Come here!
I want to do it some more.
Get in here!
Mae Ruth?
Jesus, Thor!
What are you doing here?
You're supposed
to be at the contest.
I ain't going to the contest.
Can't go to the contest.
Well, I'm getting out of here.
Don't go. Stay here with me.
Don't go to the contest.
- Thor!
- Mary Tate, stay here with me.
Can't go to that contest.
Stay here.
Stay here.
I know now what I'm doing.
Thor...
Look. Look, see?
OK, OK.
I know. I know you're unhappy.
Look, see? Look.
I just want to make you happy.
Buy you things, pretty things.
Make you feel good.
I can make you
feel happy right now.
Look. Look, see. See?
Oh, please...
Come on. Come on.
It won't hurt you. Come on.
Just a little.
Just a sniff.
Come on. Mary Tate.
It's just that
I miss her so much.
I feel so bad about
what happened at the party.
I'm sorry, Joe.
Really, I am.
Will you put your goddamn
dumbbells down for a second?
Come on.
They're all backstage.
Let's go.
Why do you come to me?
Why don't you tell her?
Because I thought
she was gonna be here.
Look around. She's not.
OK, everybody on stage.
Thanks a lot, Joe.
That helps me. Thank you.
Listen, buddy, you had her once,
and you let her go.
I got my contest
to win here today.
I can't believe you.
You really want to win this...
and you're giving me this
"stay hungry" horseshit?
I don't know where she is.
And even if I did,
I still wouldn't tell you.
Why, because you want her
for yourself?
Now you're talking
about something...
you don't know anything about.
Yeah, I do.
You know what I think?
I think you were testing her,
you bastard.
Hey, give us
a break here, Blake.
You believed all along
she was coming back to you.
Come on now.
My boy has a job to do.
I told you a while back,
you can't grow without burning.
- I don't need this shit.
- Yeah, you do.
Craig, hey. Listen to me.
Check the spa.
Anita told me that Mary Tate...
was going back there
to pick up her stuff.
Listen, I got to get
out front, all right?
Thanks. If she shows here,
just tell her to wait.
OK. Listen, if you see Thor,
you tell him now's the time!
Follow that guy.
Find out what's
with Erikson.
Don't worry about Doug.
The finals ain't
for fifteen minutes. Follow him.
Go on.
Mary?
Mary Tate?
Mary?
I've been looking
all over for you.
Are you all right?
I love you, baby.
Let me go, Craig.
I'm not gonna let you go.
I love you.
He let me go.
He let me go.
Who let you go?
What happened?
- Mary Tate!
- I'm scared. We have to go.
What happened?
What'd he do to you?
Blake!
Find Joe!
Find Joe!
What did you do to her,
you bastard?!
What did you do to her?!
Pissant, where are you?
Who the hell are you?
Santo! Santo!
That's enough. Break it up.
One of you is gonna
pass out. Come on.
In just a moment...
the judges will announce
the new Mr. Universe.
The guy named Santo.
He's from Austria.
Havi-shavitz!
Havi-shavitz!
Quiet!
Havi-shavitz!
Fa-vight! Fa-vight!
Fight. A fight. I knew it.
- Fight? Where?
- Erikson's place.
- Oh, my God!
- Hey, where you going?
Dougie! Dougie! I knew it.
The son of a bitch is taking off
with our prize money.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the new Mr. Universe...
Joe Santo!
Hey, Santo! Santo!
Hey, fella, listen.
Listen to me now.
You're causing a panic here.
Now talk slow.
Ha-vi-sha-vitz.
Fee-vee-vight.
Did Joe Santo come this way?
- Joe Santo?
- He had posing trunks on.
Is that what you're wearing?
I thought those
were his underpants.
No, no. Body builders.
He's one of them body builders.
Show the people
what body builders do.
Hey, Ed, did you see
where Santo went?
No.
These people
want to see poses.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
We might as well.
Where's Joe?
He took the prize money.
What the hell's
going on here?
Hey, leave us alone.
Attempted rape. Assault.
Enough to get him ten years.
How about taking care
of the crowd, Owen?
Excuse me, officer.
What happened
to this guy Erikson?
He come through the window.
They just took him off.
He's in a lot worse shape
than that Blake boy.
That's a shame.
You didn't happen to see
no money on him, did you?
How about just moving along.
I can't believe it.
You beat up on Erikson...
'cause he tries
to diddle your girlfriend.
She drops the charges,
he agrees to sell...
and now you're saying you won't
sell us back the place?
That's right.
Me and Mr. Universe...
we're going into
the gym business.
That doesn't mean you boys
aren't welcome back here.
Hell, we'll put you all
on a program.
Help you take care of
those love handles...
of yours there, Walter Jr.
Hey, now, quit it!
And that's it, huh?
Jabo, have you thought about
building a skinny high-rise?
Or maybe a little fat, short,
squatty one around my place.
Look, two months from now,
you're gonna get tired...
of playing
with all these toys.
You're gonna crawl to us
to bail your ass out.
Maybe.
But for now,
I like it down here.
Let me set something straight.
From now on...
you do your business
on the other side of town.
You listen to me, hear?
What's he doing?
Posing.
You think that's funny?
That's funny.
No, that's funny.
- Dear nephew...
- You'll see.
You may not have become
the Blake we anticipated...
but you are definitely
Craig Blake...
an identity that no one
will dare challenge.
Musclemen amok in the town
your forebears built.
A formidable achievement.
Fondly, Uncle Albert.
Well, it's a sold house,
William.
Dear Uncle Albert...
"Do it unsparingly,"
you once said...
and so I have.
I asked William
if he would like to stay on...
with the new owners...
but he feels
that way of life...
is as much behind him
as it is for me.
He's opened a thrift shop
downtown...
using the more salable
objects from the house...
with which
to build his trade.
Found us a spot
down by the river.
- William!
- Yes, sir?
We offered him
a guest membership at the spa...
but he contends
that massage, rays...
weight training,
and the like...
would send him
to an early grave.
I think in some
very special way...
William's approval
means more to me...
than anyone else's
in the family.
Give us a hug here.
Come on down the spa
sometime, William.
It seems strange to be leaving
the house I was born in.
But I think we both know
I left a long time ago.
I simply neglected
to move out.
Squirrels abound where Mary Tate
and I will be living...
so come spy on them.
And us.
Your most loving nephew,
Craig.