The Flintstones (1994) Movie Script

Come on, you lazy Cro-Magnon!
Hey! Back to work!
You guys had a break two days ago!
Come on, now!
Come on, Sheba!
That`s my big girl!
Look at those pathetic worms...
burrowing their lives away.
Do you know why l`m up here
and they`re down there, Miss Stone?
Because you lied on your resume?
Because I have vision.
And right now I have a vision
of you and me...
dripping with coconut oil
on a beach in Rocapulco...
with Mr. Slate`s fortune
to keep us company.
I`m glad we see eye to eye.
And somewhere down there
is the ignorant stooge...
who will make
all my schemes come true.
Meet the Flintstones
They`re a modern Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They`re a page
right out of history
Let`s ride with the family
down the street
Through the courtesy
of Fred`s two feet
When you`re
with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba doo time
A dabba-doo time
We`ll have a gay old time
The captain has just turned
on the seat belt sign...
signalling our descent
into the Bedrock area.
On your left, you`ll be able to see the
Grand Canyon in about 15,000,000 years.
Radio Bedrock
The KAVE accu-forecast for tonight
calls for light seismic activity...
and a 20 percent chance
of meteor showers.
Quick traffic update. Due to lava flows,
Highway 1 will be closed... forever!
Molten Oldie
Sow belly, pot of beans
Tie a rope around your jeans
Tell your mom not to wait
You ain`t coming home too late
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
There`s a town I know
where the hipsters go called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
When you get that itch
you can do the Twitch
In Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
`Cause the Twitch is fine
Have yourself a time
- In Bedrock
- Drum solo!
Watch it, will ya?
Finally got my hair the way I like it.
I`m so excited, Fred.
I`m gonna be a father.
It`s like a dream come true.
A son. Someone to carry on
the proud name of Rubble.
- Think l`ll be a good daddy?
- Well, you`re bound to find
something you`re good at.
Yeah, sure-- Hey!
- Uncle!
- Heh heh heh.
You know, Fred, Betty and l
really owe it all to you.
We would`ve never qualified to adopt had
it not been for the money you gave us.
Remember, Barn, that`s
between you and me.
- l`d like to tell the world what
a great guy my best buddy is!
- No, no, no!
True, it was a selfless, noble act,
if I do say so myself.
My only reward
will be your happiness.
I don`t need to go blabbin`
my good deeds all around.
You`re afraid to tell Wilma,
aren`t you?
Afraid? Now, let`s get
this straight, Rubble.
I don`t need permission
from my wife to make a decision.
In my cave,
I reign supreme!
- I won`t tell her, Fred.
- Thanks, pal.
Hiya, Timmy!
Here you go!
Shoot, shoot, shoot!
Hey, Charlie!
- Huh?
- Wilma!
I`m home!
No, Dino! No, no!
No, Dino! Bad boy!
Bad dog!
- Good doggie!
- Bad Dino breath.
Do you have to get Dino so wound up
when you come home?
It`s not my fault. Maybe he`d
calm down if we had him fixed!
Here comes
the big Daddysaurus!
How was your day, dear?
I think my Brontocrane`s
pregnant again.
I tell ya,
you forget to lock her up
one Saturday night--
- Comfortable, Fred?
- On my way.
All I need`s a brew and a good scratch.
Which one do you want to do first?
It does my heart good
to see you relaxing...
after a hard day
at the quarry.
I`m telling you, I married
the pick of the litter.
Fred, our garbage disposal
has been acting up a lot lately,
so I decided that it was
time to buy a new one.
But when I went to take money
out of our savings account,
- guess what?
- New garbage disposal?
New garbage disposal?
Why throw good money down the drain?
There`s nothing wrong
with this one.
All right, you. Say ""ahh.""
Do you have any idea why there`s
no money in our savings account?
There`s your problem right there.
All right, you!
Spit it out!
Where`s the money, Fred?
Something happened to it.
There, I said it.
We have scrimped and saved
for that money.
And every time we get ahead, you have to
go blow it on some harebrained scheme!
Now, see here, Wilma!
In this cave, I am the king!
- And--
- And what, Fred?
And you have every right
to know, my queen.
I gave it to Barney.
- You what?
- I know I should`ve consulted you,
but Barney Rubble`s my neighbor,
my lodge brother...
and my best friend since the first
time I went through the fifth grade!
Fred Flintstone!
Wilma, without that money, they
wouldn`t be allowed to adopt a baby.
So go ahead, yell, scream,
let the fur fly.
Give the neighbors
something to talk about!
What you have just done
for the Rubbles...
is the sweetest,
most generous thing I ever heard.
And I adore you for it.
I also bought
a new bowling ball.
Wait! Come on, honey!
- Watch your step.
- Sit down.
All right, all together, folks.
Betty, sit down and relax.
Oh, I can`t, Wilma.
It just hit me.
From now on,
l`ll be spending 24 hours a day...
attending to the every need
of a helpless little boy.
Then again, maybe it won`t be such
a big adjustment after all.
And promise me you won`t
say anything like you did
when you saw my sister`s baby.
The kid had a tail. Was I supposed
to pretend I didn`t notice?
Hello, Mommy and Daddy!
I have someone who wants to meet you!
Well, it`s not exactly
what we pictured, but...
- we`ll love him like he was our own.
- No, no, no.
This little fellow
belongs to the Hendersons.
- So glad you`ll be nursing.
- Congratulations.
Mr. and Mrs. Rubble,
this is your little boy.
Barney, isn`t he precious?
- Precious? They`d have been
better off with the monkey.
- Fred!
- Does he have a name?
- Bamm-Bamm.
- Is that short for somethin`?
- Bamm-Bamm-Bamm.
You`re going to have to take it
slowly with this one.
He doesn`t speak yet, and he`s
a little skittish around humans.
But then again, I would be too if
I had been raised by wild mastodons.
-Let`s not nitpick. A mammal`s a mammal.
Well, sounds to me like
all he needs is a little lovin`.
Come here, little guy.
- Aah! He growled. Y eah.
- That`s cute.
It`s okay, little guy.
I`m your da-da.
Oh! Barney!
- Oh, Betty!
- Bamm-Bamm! No!
Bamm-Bamm, wait!
Stalactite, stalagmite
Hold your baby very tight
- Come back!
- Come here, little guy!
- Bamm-Bamm! Bamm! Bamm-Bamm!
- Ohhh!
- Rock with the caveman
- Bamm-Bamm-Bamm-Bamm-Bamm!
Roll with the caveman
Shake to the caveman
- Break with the caveman
- Oof!
- Make with the caveman
Okay, give me a C-A-V-E
- Who-o-o-a!
- M-A-N, Caveman
- Whoa!
What an arm!
""And Cinderocka married
the handsome prince, and--
and they lived
happily ever after."
Okay, Brother Flintstone,
we need a strike to win.
Can you do it?
Is the Earth flat?
- Come on, Freddie!
- Come on, hit it!
Come on, twinkle toes.
- Waka-waka-woo!
- Waka-waka-woo!
- Wooga-wooga-wee!
- Wooga-wooga-wee!
Lava juice!
Hey, can I have everybody`s
attention, please?
I would like to
propose a toast...
to not only a great bowler,
but a great human being.
And no offense to you guys.
""Since I was just a lad of ten,
l`ve had the very bestest friend.
He may be big,
he may be loud,
so you`ll never lose him
in a crowd.
But for my friend
the special part...
is what`s behind his ribs--
his heart.
I owe my son to him, and now...
I stand before my peers
and vow...
I`ll pay him back,
someday, somehow.""
The end.
- That was beautiful, Barn.
- I meant every word of it, Fred.
- Care to join me in a cold one?
- Love to.
It doesn`t get
any better than this.
Look at him.
Drunk as a skunkosaurus.
Mother, I can handle this.
What`s that old fossil doing here?
Did the tar pits back up again?
Well, somebody has to be here looking
after my daughter and grandchild...
while you`re out carousing
with a bunch of Neanderthals.
Oh, really?
Well, for your information,
the lodge no longer
accepts Neanderthals.
He robs your nest egg to bail
out that little troll next door...
while my daughter has to
wash her clothes in the river.
- I got half a mind--
- Oh, don`t flatter yourself.
That`s it!
Where`s my club, Wilma?
You just try it, fatso!
- If you was a man, l`d knock you--
- Enough! Mother! Fred!
You two should be
ashamed of yourselves!
I`ve got my hands full
just being ashamed of him.
- You got your hands full
when you scratch your neck!
- Stop it!
Both of you!
Mother, Fred is a loving husband
and a good provider.
Oh, really? What has he ever
provided you besides shade?
Oh, Wilma,
you could`ve married
Elliot Firestone,
the man who invented the wheel.
Instead you picked
Fred Flintstone,
the man who invented
the excuse.
Let me tell you something, Pearl-- l`m
not going to be a nobody all my life.
One of these days, l`m gonna be
a somebody, a real somebody!
We`ll live in luxury, and Wilma
will have everything she deserves.
When that day comes,
you`ll be so busy eatin` crow...
you`ll be passing feathers
for a month!
Oh, you poor, poor dear.
And when I think of all the sacrifices
your father made for you.
Lambs, oxen,
your brother Jerry.
- Well--
- Oh, Wilma.
Do your mother a favor.
Just call Elliot Firestone.
Even if things don`t work out,
he can give you
a great deal on some tires.
- Yes, Mother.
- Byesie-bye.
I`ll show her.
I`ll show everybody.
I know you will, Fred.
- Call me fatso.
- Let`s get some sleep.
Hey, what`s the special?
This job sucks.
- What you got today?
- Lizard and onions. Want half?
I hear that eatin`
too much red meat is bad for you.
What a load of bunk.
My father ate it every day of his life;
he lived to the ripe old age of 38.
May I have
your attention!
I have a very important
announcement to make.
- You found out why the guys
in pit 6 are losing their hair?
- Y es!
And we are currently
in the process of refuting
the results of that investigation.
But today I am here...
to formally announce
the creation...
of Slate and Company`s
executive placement program.
Hold your questions, please.
That`s right; this Saturday
an aptitude test will be given,
granting one of you
the opportunity...
to crawl out
of the primordial ooze...
and be somebody--
A vice president
at Slate and Company,
with an obscene salary
and a shiny nameplate.
Good luck,
and may the best biped win.
An executive?
This is my chance to be somebody.
Be somebody.
Higher, Bamm-Bamm,
Higher! Higher!
- Wilma.
- Hmm?
- How did you get rid of
the ring around the collar?
- By washing Fred`s neck.
Hmm. You know, if Fred scores
the highest on that test,
you`ll be able to hire someone
to do your laundry for you.
If Fred scores the highest on that test,
l`ll have to hire someone to revive me.
Oh, it`s true;
Fred`s no Albert Einstone.
- But he may surprise you.
- Whee!
Well, maybe.
- He has been studying day and night.
- Whee!
I know! I`ve never seen him
so excited about something you
couldn`t spread mayonnaise on.
Barn, l`ve been thinking
about this executive job.
It`s not me.
Cooped up inside
some swank office all day,
kissing the big shot`s feet.
Not Fred Flintstone.
Why, good afternoon,
Mr. Vandercave.
- My, that`s a handsome pelt
you`re wearing today.
- Thank you.
Your attention, please!
Please take your seats.
And... welcome.
You will have one hour
to complete the exam.
Please carve all answers
with a well-sharpened No. 2 chisel.
On behalf
of Slate and Company,
I want to wish you all
the very best of luck.
Let`s begin.
Chisels down.
Please slide
your answer slab...
into the numbered envelope
and stack them neatly
on my desk.
Psst! Hey, Fred!
How`d you do?
How`d I do? How`d I do?
- You want me to take that up for you?
- Yeah. Thanks, pal.
""And I stand
before my peers and vow,
I`ll pay him back,
someday, somehow.""
Well, Cliff,
the test results are in.
And our unsuspecting dupe is?
Believe it or not, the one who scored
the highest was Fred Flintstone.
- That big ape?
- No, the big ape got a 65.
Oh, this can`t be right!
He must have cheated.
He`s dense, he`s witless--
He`s perfect.
The results of the exam
were very competitive,
and just because an applicant
was not selected...
is no indication
of lack of ability.
- I am pleased to announce...
- I know a kiss-off
when I hear one; let`s go.
that the newest member
of our executive rank...
is Mr. Fred Flintstone!
- Huh?
- Barney, quick. What`s my name?
- Fred Flintstone!
- Don`t toy with me, Barney.
You did it, Fred!
You made it!
Good morning,
Mr. Vice President.
Good morning, Mrs. Vice President.
Oh, Dino! Oh, Dino, no!
- Hey!
- Mmm!
Atta baby!
Heh heh heh.
Good boy, Dino.
Well, how do I look?
Daddy pretty.
It`s perfect!
Yeah. Snazzy.
What am I gonna call you now?
Boss? Chief?
No, a simple
""Your Highness"" will do.
No, Barn,
I`m not gonna be one of
these guys that makes it and
then forgets where he came from.
The first thing l`m gonna do
is get everyone in the quarry
some vacation time.
And maybe a health plan
with free foot care.
I`d settle for them little packets
of ketchup for the lunch room.
- l`m only one man.
- Not from the back.
Hey, hey.
Well, I guess this is it,
Mr. Flintstone.
Go get `em, big guy.
- Hey, Barn.
- Yeah, Fred?
Could you spot me
a couple bucks for lunch?
You`re right, Fred.
Nothing`s changed.
Welcome aboard, Flintstone!
We`re glad you`re here.
Nice suit!
You know, Fred,
any gravel brain...
can shovel rock
down in the quarry, but up here--
- Do you know what we do up here?
- Me and the guys have always wondered.
We interface, Flintstone.
We strategize, analyze,
conceptualize, prioritize--
When do we eat?
Fred, until this moment I wasn`t sure
we`d picked the right man.
Now l`m certain.
Fred Flintstone,
you`ve arrived.
- This is my office?
- That`s right.
- This is my chair?
- Mm-hmm.
Not to throw too much at you
on your first day, but this
big thing here is your desk.
- My desk?
- Watch out for your fingers
in the drawers.
Am I interrupting?
Not at all. Fred, l`d like you
to meet your new secretary,
- Miss Sharon Stone.
- My secretary?
Personal secretary,
Mr. Flintstone.
That is, of course,
if you want me.
Well, l`m sure the two
of you would like to get...
better acquainted.
Mr. Flintstone,
l`d like you to know...
that I enjoy working
long hours, late nights,
even weekends.
So feel free to use me...
however you see fit.
Now, can I get you anything?
- Coffee?
- Sure.
- How would you like it?
- In a cup?
Bold choice,
Mr. Flintstone!
You`ll go far
in this company.
Take a memo.
Cliff, let`s play golf.
We can prioritize, conceptualize
and, uh... tenderize.
Executively yours,
Fred Fli-- Aaaaah!
Are there six or seven
""l""s in ""Fli-- Aaah""?
- Who said that?
- It was l, your dictabird.
- Dicta-what?
- Dictabird. Read my beak.
""Cliff, let`s play golf.
We can prioritize, conceptualize
and, uh, tenderize.""
Wow. Wow!
Mr. Flintstone, l`d like to warn
you that management positions...
are fraught with peril.
Whenever you find yourself
in a befuddled state,
I urge you to avail yourself...
of my experience
and sage advice.
Oh, really?
- Listen, birdie, let`s get
the pecking order straight here.
- Hmm.
I don`t need any help from you.
I`m Vice President of--
Of, uh--
Industrial procurement.
How about that?
Excuse me.
Hey, guys!
Guess what I am!
Vice President of
lndustrial Procurement!
Oy! Whew.
Y eah.
There. I`m all done with
the requisition forms.
What do you think?
It`s perfect.
Looks just like the real one.
Mr. Flintstone, you are about
to embezzle a great deal of money.
Unfortunately, for you,
we get to keep it.
We can have Flintstone
sign these right away.
Not just yet.
Creatures like
this Flintstone are... primitive,
prone to irrational
bouts of integrity.
We`ve got to make absolutely certain
he`ll do whatever we say.
Fred is the greatest bowler
on Earth.
""Fred is the greatest bowler
on Earth.""
Now you talk, and see
how much I can remember.
Workin` hard?
Okay, Fred, are you ready for
your first executive action?
Whatever you need,
consider it done!
Good! I want you
to fire Bernard Rubble.
Done-- What?
Fire Barney? Why?
Well, for starters, he scored the lowest
on the management aptitude test.
He`s an imbecile.
The company can`t afford to have
dead weight like him on the payroll!
But, Mr. Vandercave,
he`s got a new kid, a mortgage.
I`m his best friend.
I can`t.
Fred, if you don`t fire him,
I will.
And then l`ll fire you.
Come on, Fred, usually you`re
yakkin` my ear off, but today
you haven`t said two words.
Something exciting
must have happened up there.
- You don`t want to know,
Barn, believe me.
- Sure I do, Fred.
You`re the first one of us
to make it out of that quarry.
Look at me. I`ll probably be
working there the rest of my life.
No, you won`t, Barn.
Take my word for it.
Come take a look-- lt`s a dish
in the shower, you keep the soap in it.
- Barney, there`s something
we gotta talk about.
- Yeah, yeah. Later, Fred.
Way to go, Fred!
- Wilma, you shouldn`t have.
- Hmm?
I didn`t. This was all
Barney and Betty`s idea.
Aren`t we lucky to have friends
like them, Fred?
There he is!
There`s my big,
handsome son-in-law!
Have you lost weight?
Have we met?
Can I have everybody`s
attention, please?
I`ve got something
l`d like to say.
I hope it`s not another poem.
Betty, Bamm-Bamm and l
could not be happier,
- even if it was me that got that job.
- Aww!
So we got a little something
to show how proud of you we are.
Congratulations, big guy!
Barney, I can`t accept this.
- Sure, you can.
- No, I can`t. Take it back.
- We can`t.
We had your initials branded on it.
- lt`s yours, Fred.
- No, it`s not!
- Fred, what`s wrong with you?
It`s a lovely gift.
- He`s thrilled to receive it.
Aren`t you, Fred?
- No!
- Don`t you like the color?
- lt`s not the briefcase,
it`s not the color.
- I just can`t take anything from you.
- But, Fred--
Take a hike, shorty.
My Freddie doesn`t want
that tacky thing.
- How come, Fred?
- Because you can`t afford it, Barn.
Sure I can, pal.
Not anymore.
- You`re fired.
- Fired?
Let`s not let a little thing
like this spoil the party!
Conga line!
Conga! Conga!
Don`t worry about me, Fred.
- l`ve been working in that quarry
since it was eight feet deep.
- Atta boy!
There could be a whole new world
opening up for me.
- Maybe l`ll take in that
franchise show this weekend.
- That`s the spirit.
There`s just one thing
I gotta know.
After all these years,
how come they`re canning me?
you`re a wonderful father,
a loving husband,
a hard worker,
and one heck of a little bowler.
But, Barn, none of that counts
on an aptitude test.
You got the lowest score, pal.
The lowest score?
Wilma, that is beautiful!
- Well, I have always wanted...
- You can`t catch me!
- a Halstone original.
- Mmm.
- Ohh!
- Now, Wilma, don`t be silly!
Your husband`s a big executive.
You can afford it.
Charge it!
Ohh! Bamm-Bamm!
- Noooooo!
- Bamm-Bamm! Bamm-Bamm!
Gentlemen, please.
I cannot endorse this modernization...
if it means laying off
all those workers.
Some have been here
since the beginning of time.
What if I could
quadruple your income?
I`ll miss them.
You were saying?
Sorry l`m late.
I had car trouble.
Picked up a nail.
Thank you for sharing that,
Mr. Flagstone.
- F--
- May we continue?
Mr. Slate. Gentlemen.
I have... a vision.
While our competitors
are mired in the Stone Age,
I give you...
the future!
- Ohh.
- Slate and Company...
will revolutionize
the building industry...
by providing simple,
modular housing units.
Impossible, you say?
Let me demonstrate.
Through the miracle
of geothermal power,
the raw material is elevated to
the second stage,
- where our steam-powered
conveyor belt carries--
- Steam?
He`s a madman!
conveyor belts...
carry the product to be shaped,
cleaned, inspected...
and delivered to
discerning consumers worldwide.
And did I mention increasing
our profit margin...
- fourfold?
- Very impressive, Mr. Vandercave.
Very impressive. I think we should
implement this system immediately.
Excuse me, Mr. Slate.
I know l`m the new man here,
but I don`t think you hired me
to sit around and look pretty.
I hate to bust your bubble,
but if you build houses this small,
who`s gonna live in `em?
- Excuse me. Mrs. Rubble?
- Y es.
There seems to be a slight problem
with your credit card.
And what would that be?
It`s no damn good!
I have never been so embarrassed
in my entire life.
-Go and play, children.
-Wilma, I promise you l`ll pay you back.
- I just don`t know when.
- Oh, now, Betty.
- It can`t be as bad as all that.
- But it is.
Barney`s still out of work;
we`ve nearly spent all of our savings.
And, Wilma, what if
the adoption agency finds out?
I don`t want to
lose my baby.
I swear, Betty, Fred and l
would never let that happen.
- Oh, Wilma.
- Oh, Betty.
Pterodactyl alert!
Mommy, help!
- Oh, yuck!
- Ecch!
And in conclusion,
Mr. Slate,
I feel a paid vacation for everyone
in the quarry would raise morale...
and increase productivity,
um, um...
a whole bunch!
Sincerely yours,
Frederick J. Flintstone.
Shall I make that ""Flagstone,""
so he`ll know who it`s from?
My, don`t we look
handsome today?
Thank you.
Here are today`s batch
of requisitions,
- all marked and ready
for your signature.
- Okay.
You know, Miss Stone,
I`ve been signing stacks of
these for weeks, and I hate
to pry, but what are they?
Oh, just
tiny little forms...
so that we can pay the contractors
working on the modernization.
We remodeled our kitchen
a couple of years ago,
and let me tell you,
contractors can be real pirates.
- l`m gonna read these over.
- No!
You`re much too busy for that,
Mr. Flintstone.
reading is my job.
You wouldn`t want to put
poor little old me...
out of work,
now, would you?
Your wife. Mm-mmm.
- Your wife.
- My wife. Wilma?
- Wilma! What a surprise!
- So it would seem.
Miss Stone, l`d like you
to meet my wife Mrs. Flagstone...
and our daughter, um, um, um, um--
Isn`t she beautiful?
My family.
-l`ve heard so much about you.
-Well, I wish that I could say the same.
That`ll be all, Miss Stone.
I`ll sign those documents
and place them on your desk.
Whatever you want.
- Your secretary is very attractive.
- Really? I hadn`t noticed.
- Did I mention she chisels
eighteen words a minute?
- Hmm.
Hey, Wilma, did ya ever see
one of these?
My wife is the most
beautiful gal in Bedrock.
- ""My wife is the most
beautiful gal in Bedrock.""
- Nice try, Fred.
""Nice try, Fred.""
Fred! I`ve come to talk
about the Rubbles` troubles.
Hasn`t Barney
found a job yet?
It`s gotten so bad, they`ve had to rent
out their house just to make ends meet.
Where are they gonna live?
So glad you`re over your cold.
Thank you.
Isn`t this nice, Betty?
The Flintstones and the Rubbles,
all under one roof.
Y es, but this is such an imposition.
Are you sure it`s okay with Fred?
Oh, absolutely.
As a matter of fact,
he thinks it was his idea.
- Hey, Freddie, a couple of cool ones.
- Oh, yeah.
How about it, Barn?
-Flintstones and Rubbles under one roof.
-But it`s only temporary.
It`d better be.
- lt`d better be!
- Y eah!
Ah, Barn, I admire ya;
you`ve lost your job, your dignity,
but not your sense of humor.
Hey, cut it out, Fred!
You like your steak rare?
- Yeah.
- That one`s yours.
Hey, hey, stop!
Come here, you purple rodent!
Don`t forget to wash that off
before you eat it!
Come here! Give me that!
Help! Somebody!
Flintstone gets the rock.
He sets his shot.
He shoots!
Oh! Oh, boy.
Miss Stone,
what a pleasant surprise.
Oh. What happened here?
- That`s what l`d like to know!
- l`ll get someone to fix it.
Oh, Miss Stone?
Before you go, there`s
something bothering me...
- about this new system
we`re putting in here.
- Oh?
Yeah. I don`t pretend
to understand it all,
- but wouldn`t this put a lot
of my guys out of work?
- How would I know?
I`m just a little ol` secretary.
Are you kiddin` me?
You`re smart!
I could tell that right off.
There`s a lot more
to you than you-- er-- uh--
- You-- I mean--
- Thank you.
I sure hope I didn`t get you
into too much trouble with
your wife the other day.
Nah. Wilma always forgives me.
She knows I love her.
- And you do, don`t you?
- Are you kiddin`?
I`ll never forget, the first time I met
her. She was working at a restaurant.
I won this ""All You Can Eat"" contest
and she was the one that cleaned me off.
Every night I go home and
look at her and I think,
""What is a beautiful woman like that
doing with a big galoot like me?""
I think I know.
- Where have you been?
- With Fred.
I mean, Mr. Flintstone.
I`m worried, Cliff.
- He`s smarter than we thought.
- He`d have to be to get himself
dressed in the morning.
He`s been asking
a lot of questions.
I think we should just call
the whole thing off.
No. No, l`ve got
a better idea.
Why don`t we
turn ourselves in,
- then we can rot in jail
until the poles freeze over.
- I was just thinking--
Stick to your strengths,
Miss Stone.
And l`ll stick to mine.
if Mr. Flintstone insists
on being so conscientious,
perhaps we can give Fred...
something to take his mind
off work, hmm?
- A bonus?
- That`s right, Fred!
- You deserve it.
- For what?
Don`t be modest,
you go-getter, you!
And Fred, let me let you in
on a little secret.
If you really want to become
a top executive at this company,
you`ve got to start
living like one.
Meet the Flintstones
They`re the modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
- They`re a page right out of history
- Good afternoon, madam.
- Full serve, please.
- Let`s ride
With the family
down the street
Through the courtesy
of Fred`s two feet
When you`re
with the Flintstones
- Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
- Oh, dear!
We`ll have a gay old time
Good boy.
Good, Wilma! Use your arms.
Perfect. That`s four.
- Betty! Towel.
- And good. Five. Strong, tight. Go six.
- Keep going. Go eight.
Strong, tight. Go nine.
- A yabba-dabba-doo time
The Flintstones!
We`ll have a gay old
- Time
- Ohhhhh!
Y eah!
Who said money
doesn`t buy happiness?
But, Fred, isn`t this all
too much too fast?
Wilma, in the buffet of life
there are no second helpings.
You gotta fill up your plate,
top off your cup,
and stuff a few rolls
in your pocket.
Fred, stop!
Mmm. Frisky!
You know, Barney,
life`s funny.
One minute people
are your best friends,
the next you`re fantasizing
they`re being ripped apart
by a pack of rabid wolves.
- You too, huh?
- Oh, Barney, they`ve changed.
I hardly know them
since Fred`s become such a big shot.
And it should be us
squanderin` all our money and
treatin` our friends like dirt.
- What do you mean?
- Oh, nothin`.
Just sour grapes, I guess.
Oh, don`t worry, Barney.
It`s gonna get better.
One day we`re gonna look back
on all this and we`ll laugh.
Geez, I hope so, Betty, `cause tomorrow
they got me testin` shark repellent.
Mmm. Oh, Barney. Ooh.
Leaving early?
Actually, the wife and I were
going to have dinner tonight
at Cavern on the Green.
Ooh, pricey. Be sure to put that
on your expense account.
Fred, before you go--
- Would you mind chipping
your ""X"" on a couple of these?
- Yeah, sure. What are they?
Well, you sign these and
your buddies down in the quarry
get some much-needed time off.
No kiddin`!
I guess Mr. Slate finally noticed
all those memos I been sendin` in.
I hope the guys will know
who`s to thank for this.
I`ll make sure
you get all the credit.
Mr. Flintstone,
up to now our relationship...
- has not been based on mutuality
of admiration or respect.
- Huh?
Put simply, you hate my bird guts
and I think you`re dumber than mud.
- Ah. Well, good night.
- Still, I wish to pass on
an old dictum...
from business school
that may be apropos.
Only an idiot signs something
before reading it.
Excuse me. I`m the executive,
you`re the office equipment.
If I want to ask
the office equipment for advice,
I`ll ask the water cooler!
Ladies and gentlemen,
the B.C.-52`s!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hey
Well, I know a place
where the hipsters go
Called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
`Cause they`re itching for it
down in prehistoric
Twitch, twitch
It`s a funky town
so l`ll see you down
It`s a funky town
called Bedrock, yeah
Oh, the Stone Age crowd
is twitching proud
In Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
They do the twitch
Twitch, twitch, come on
Twitch, twitch
Twitch, twitch
Twitch, twitch
Twitch, twitch
Do it, come on, baby
Do it, do it, do it
- Do the twitch
like you got an itch, itch
- Y eah, yeah, yeah
- ltch, itch, itch, itch
- Y eah, yeah, yeah
Thank you, Bedrock!
Thanks, everybody.
And remember, don`t drink and pedal.
Good night!
- How `bout a spin, Betty?
- No, thank you, Fred.
I`ll wait till Barney gets here.
He started some new job today.
I`m not sure what time he gets done.
While we`re waiting, how about another
carafe of the bubbly? Garcon! Whoops.
Don`t worry, Mr. Flintstone.
I`ll have that taken care of right away.
Table seven, sonny.
Barney, nice skins!
Sit down, take a load off!
- I can`t, Fred. I`m working here.
- You`re a busboy?
- lt`s honest work.
- Yeah, I don`t have to
fight Dino for my supper.
Now, if you`ll excuse me,
l`ll get you a fresh tablecloth, sir.
Wilma, you were worried
he`d never find a job and
we`d be stuck with him forever.
Flintstone! Flintstone!
We want Flintstone!
The demonstration continues
to get uglier at Slate and Company...
following the unexpected layoff
of virtually the entire labor force...
by V.P. Fred Flintstone.
For the Cave News Network,
this is Susan Rock.
Fred, did you hear what happened
to everyone at the quarry today?
Yup. A few hours ago, I sent them
all off on a nice, long vacation.
You mean, a permanent vacation.
He fired them!
Fred! How could you?
- I didn`t do that.
- You did too! It`s all over the TV!
- Fred!
- Who are you going to believe--
me or some busboy?
That busboy is
your best friend!
Best friend? I lost my best friend
the day I became an executive!
He`s just jealous
of my hard-earned success.
Tell me something, Mr. Vice President,
what`s a graduated
inventory plan, huh?
How about supply and demand?
Hey, Fred!
What`s two and two?
I didn`t come here to talk business.
I`m out with my wife.
Now, get me a clean spoon.
That does it!
The only reason you got that job is
`cause I switched tests with you.
- Oh, Barney.
- Oh-ho-ho, that`s rich!
What good would it do me to switch tests
with the guy that got the lowest score?
- Think about it, Fred.
- Oh, finally it all makes sense.
You don`t believe this,
do you?
- Are you calling my husband a liar?
- This has gone far enough.
After everything that we`ve done
for you. We took you into our home.
Yeah? So you could show off
every chance you got!
You used to be such
nice people, but now...
you`re just a couple of
rich snobs!
Better than being
a couple of petty ingrates.
Come on, Barney.
We are moving out... tonight!
Hang on, Betty.
I forgot to punch out.
Eh, put it up top.
Betty, please.
We can work it out.
We`re all civilized people here.
It`s too late, Wilma.
Come on, we all said things
that we didn`t mean.
Speak for yourself.
Come on, Betty.
Time to hit the road.
Fred! Aren`t you even
the least bit sorry?
Sure, l`m sorry. I`m sorry
I ever met the little moocher.
Oh, Betty.
- Good-bye, Wilma.
- Oh.
They`re gone.
I cannot believe you just let them
walk out of our lives.
- At least I can walk around
the house in my underwear again.
- And that is more important...
than 20 years of friendship?
It is on a hot day.
They were holding us back, Wilma.
We`ll make new friends. There`s
4,000 other people in this world!
- Who needs the Rubbles?
- I do.
But l`ll tell you
what I don`t need.
I don`t need...
this necklace.
You know, I don`t need this lamp.
And I don`t need
this television set.
Not the TV!
I don`t need this.
I don`t need this.
I don`t think l`ll be needing
any of this bone china.
Because I don`t have
any friends to invite to dinner.
I don`t think l`ll be using
any of these cups or saucers.
You`re gonna regret this. It`s gonna
take you hours to clean up this mess.
All right, Wilma.
Enough of this charade.
Come back now,
and l`ll forgive ya.
Oh, you`re bluffin`,
Wilma Slaghoople.
You`re not going
to your mother`s.
Once around the block,
you`ll realize...
the folly of your ways and
you`ll come crawling back.
It`s finally happened:
l`ve become my father.
Now, Barney,
don`t talk like that.
- This place is fine for now.
- Come on, Betty.
We`re living downwind
from a family of wild boars.
- Face it. We`ve hit rock bottom.
- Hmm.
Come here, little guy.
Can you say da-da?
Say da-da.
- Bamm-Bamm!
- Oh.
It doesn`t really matter where we live,
as long as we`re together.
Family hug!
- Betty?
- Hmm?
Exactly where did you
get those eggs?
I think it might be twins.
There he is!
You`re a traitor, Flintstone!
- Listen to me. I`m your friend.
- You`re no friend of ours!
And you`re a rotten bowler too!
Good morning, Mr. Flint--
- They made a fool of me.
- Look what they had to work with.
Flintstone, heard you were down
in the file room.
Find anything interesting?
Y eah! I`m on to
your little scam.
Billing phony companies
and keeping the money for yourself.
- l`m going to Mr. Slate.
- Good idea.
Turning yourself in might
buy you a little leniency.
- Me? This entire scheme was your idea.
- True.
But l`ve graciously decided
to give you all the credit...
since it`s your name
on the requisitions.
I never touched
any of that money!
Hmm. Fred, please.
Remodeling your house, furs, jewelry,
a fully-equipped Le Sabertooth.
- Tsk, tsk, tsk.
You should have been more discreet.
- l`m innocent!
Oh, boo-hoo-hoo.
Miss Stone, call security.
Tell them we`ve
uncovered an embezzler.
Miss Stone,
you`ll back me up, won`t ya?
You better run while
you still have a chance.
You`ll never get away with this.
I already have.
Here comes the pterodactyl.
- Mmm-mmm-mmm.
- lt`s no use, Mother.
She misses Fred.
I hope it`s not that
pesky Avrok lady again.
- Betty!
- Oh.
- Bamm-Bamm!
- I have missed you so much.
I don`t care what Barney said; l
couldn`t let you go through this alone.
- Have you heard from Fred?
- No.
I spoke to a lawyer.
If he`s missing seven years,
you can remarry.
Well, wherever Fred is,
I hope he knows I still love him.
Calling all Bedrock units,
all Bedrock units.
Tonight, in a special edition
of Bedrock`s Most Wanted,
we bring you the story
that`s rocked our city,
""The Case Of The
Embezzling Executive.""
Mr. Flintstone,
what are you doing?
I`m an executive.
I`m embezzling.
I`m shocked!
How could you ever
marry that man?
That man is not my husband.
That`s right. He plays Dr. Gravelman
on The Young And The Thumbless.
Fred might be a lot of things
but a thief is not one of them.
- Can you prove it?
- Who cares?
- Yabba-dabba-dabba!
- This menace remains at large--
- We ask the public`s help
in apprehending--
- Maybe I can.
A little something to take that
chill off. Take a swig of this.
Put hair on your knuckles.
Tell me something--
You one of those guys that was
laid off at the stone quarry?
I used to work there.
A lot of guys here would like
to get their hands on the guy
who`s responsible for all this.
- So they could hear
his side of the story?
- What? His side of the story?
Huh? Flintstone!
It is! Flintstone!
Get him!
Just think. This time tomorrow, we`ll
be on a pterodactyl winging our w--
- Oh, Cliff.
- Hmm?
How come there`s only
one ticket to Rocapulco?
For your protection, darling.
I thought I would go on
a ""business trip,"" while you...
stay here to keep up appearances.
Then, when we`re sure it`s safe,
l`ll send for you.
Forgive me, Cliff.
Looks like you`ve
thought of everything.
Psst. Excuse me!
- Hello.
- No, Mumsie, I don`t want
to go to school.
The other boys make fun of me.
Wake up!
Oh, Mrs. Flintstone. To what do
I owe the honor of this break-in?
I need your help, Mr. Bird.
- You hear everything that
goes on in this office.
- Mm-hmm.
You are the only one who can help
clear my husband.
My, my, what a delicious irony.
Thank you for sharing it with me.
Now, let me share
something with you.
Oh, now, Wilma, calm down.
- Maybe I can reason with him.
- Ow!
There. All set.
You know, my only regret
is I won`t be around...
when that shoddy new equipment
blows up in their big, dumb faces.
Oh, well, l`ll just have to
console myself with all that money.
Hey, who`s that?
That`s Flintstone`s wife.
What would she want with
a stinky old dict--
Son of a brachiosaurus!
Well, Cliff. I guess you haven`t
thought of everything.
Oh, this is far from over.
String him up!
You can`t do this.
I was framed!
In a minute you`re
going to be boxed.
Anybody want a snowcone?
- Barney!
- Fred!
- What are you doing here?
- l`m getting lynched!
- Oh. I got cherry, lime, rocky road.
- Do you know this guy?
Know him?
He used to be my best friend.
In a way, if it wasn`t for me,
this whole mess probably
wouldn`t have happened.
Thanks for filling us in. We could`ve
made a very big mistake here.
- Hang both of `em.
- What?
Gee, take it easy. They make you pay
for your own uniforms.
Barney, I thought
you came to save me.
Save you? I saw a crowd,
I figured l`d sell a few snowcones.
- You mean you haven`t forgiven me yet?
- Nope.
Frankly, I don`t think
this is going to help.
- I took a cherry.
- I can`t break a 20.
Hey, hey, hey!
Wait a minute!
Look, Barn, I know you`re still
a little mad at me.
But I want you to know, if I had
to have someone hanging next to me,
I`m glad it`s you.
I guess switchin` them tests didn`t turn
out much like I planned, huh, Fred?
Hey, got any lemon?
Check in the back.
Gee, why can`t business
be this good every day?
The story of my life.
- l`m a loser.
- No, you`re not.
- This makes me a winner?
- No, but you`re the best friend
a guy ever had...
and that makes you a winner
in my book, pal.
Me-- l`m just a big jerk.
Ah, everybody loves you, Fred.
Except for this lynch mob.
Ah, Barn.
Ah, Fred.
You`ll have plenty of time
to bond in the afterlife.
Wilma, look!
Watch out for that tree!
Now wait, everybody.
Fred is innocent.
Barney, do you have to do
everything Fred does?
Everybody, listen to him.
First things first.
I demand an apology.
- l`m sorry!
- Not you, him.
Me? Apologize to a bird?
Not Fred Flintstone!
I had hoped we might be colleagues
but instead, you`ve treated me as if...
I were an ordinary
piece of office furniture.
I may eat bugs, but I have
feelings, Mr. Flintstone.
- And you`ve hurt them.
- Aww.
Uh, well, look, I know I could`ve
been a little more sensitive.
- Especially when you were molting.
- Ohh.
So, l`m... sorry.
I don`t think
they heard you in the back.
- l`m sorry.
- Pardon?
- l`m sorry, l`m sorry!
- Ohh.
Now, then.
Gather `round, everyone. I`ll tell you
the tale of an unsophisticated man...
caught up in
a treacherous web of power,
deceit and lust.
Ooh, yeah.
Why is the door open?
- Betty, the door is open!
- Wilma, something`s wrong!
- Pebbles!
- Bamm-Bamm!
What kind of madman would
do something like this?
That`s a poor poochie.
That`s a baby. That`s a baby.
- Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm are gone!
- They left this.
- lt`s a note.
- ""lf you want to see your kids again,
bring the Dictabird to the quarry
at dawn. No police.""
Mr. Flintstone.
Stealing office equipment, really.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Is this the kind of example you want
to set for your daughter?
- Where are the kids?
- The bird, please.
- First, we want our children.
- Of course.
- Bamm-Bamm!
- Take one more step, Mr. Rubble,
and this quarry`s safety record
will be severely tarnished.
Now, give me the bird.
Go on, Fred.
Give him what he wants.
- What?
- Don`t worry, I got a plan.
- We`re gonna get the kids back
and then we`ll rescue you.
- What a strategist.
I should have signed
with Disney.
They never would`ve allowed this sort
of thing to happen.
- Ahh! Thank you, gentlemen.
- Easy.
And in the words of
my beloved mother,
I`m taking the money and moving
to a warmer climate.
Help, Daddy!
Let`s discuss this, Cliff.
May I call you Cliff?
Barney, too much pressure.
One, two, three--
Nice goin`.
- Now what do we do?
- You get the kids,
l`ll try and stop this.
Cliffy, have I ever told you you have
a very distinguished chin?
Shut up! Aah!
Yo, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Oh, dear, oh, dear.
Too many years behind a desk.
Mayday, mayday!
Hi, Da-da.
You did it!
You called me da-da!
Oh, Barney, you lunkhead!
What am I going to do?
I gotta think of somethin`.
Not now.
Wake up, Uncle Barney!
Help, help!
Save me!
Save me from this mad M.B.A.!
- Don`t worry. I`ll take care of him.
- My hero.
kiss your bird good-bye.
Oh, mama.
Will there be anything else,
Mr. Flintstone?
No, Miss Stone.
Take the rest of the day off.
It`s time for you and me
to interface.
- Aah!
- Stee-rike!
And then, Cliff said,
""True. But l`ve graciously decided
to give you all the credit,
since it`s your name on all
the requisition forms.""
Mr. Flintstone,
I may not be in on Monday.
Don`t worry, Miss Stone.
I`ll tell `em what you did.
- l`m sure they`ll let you off easy.
- l`ve been a very bad girl.
But you have to admit,
I was very,
very good at it.
Come on, do it for Mommy.
Who am l?
- Bamm-Bamm!
- Oh.
Thank goodness,
you`re all right.
Well, l`m not going to jail, but
it won`t be easy getting a new job.
What kind of reference
is Mr. Slate gonna give me
after I destroyed his quarry?
None of this was your fault.
Mr. Slate will understand.
Sure, now he gets
my name right.
How did this happen?
Mr. Slate, it all started when
the Rubbles here wanted to adopt a baby.
Not that!
How did this
happen to Cliff?
Well, you see, Mr. Slate,
the machinery went haywire
and the rocks got all crushed up...
and that got mixed in with water
and that came all down the hill.
- Mr. Slate, l`m sorry!
- Sorry? I love this stuff!
I`m gonna name it after
my daughter Concretia.
Flintstone, you`re a genius!
Me? Really? Why?
Don`t you see? Thanks to concrete,
man can now shape his own destiny.
- The Stone Age is over!
- Ahh.
First thing, I want you
to hire back all the men, Flintstone.
- We`re going into
production immediately.
- We?
That`s right.
You are hereby promoted to President
of the entire Concrete Division.
That`s a real nice offer,
Mr. Slate, but unfortunately,
l`m gonna have to turn you down.
Don`t listen to him, Mr. Slate.
Fred, it`s a great job!
This time, you deserve it.
Barney, all my life
I wanted to be a somebody.
And when I finally did,
I turned into somebody I didn`t like.
Good grief, man,
have you lost your mind?
This could make you rich
beyond your wildest dreams.
I was always the richest man
in the world.
I just never knew it.
So, if it`s okay with you,
Mr. Slate,
all I want is my old job back
and my old life.
And two weeks paid vacation
for all the men in the quarry,
an annual cost
of livin` increase...
and those little packets
of ketchup in the lunchroom.
- Done!
- Thanks, boss.
See you at the company picnic.
There goes the best
executive I ever had.
- Fred, l`m so proud of you.
- And l`m proud of you, Barney.
- l`m starving!
- Me too!
What do you say we get some breakfast.
Snake and eggs for everybody.
- My treat. Barney--
- Great.
- Yeah, Fred?
- Could you spot me a couple bucks?
I`m a little short.
- Not this time!
- What?
Meet the Flintstones
They`re a modern
Stone Age family
From the
town of Bedrock
They`re a page
right out of history
Someday maybe
Fred will win the fight
Then that cat will
stay out for the night
When you`re
with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
We`ll have a gay old time
- Wilma!
- We`ll have a gay old time
Meet the Flintstones
They`re the modern
Stone Age family
From the
town of Bedrock
They`re a page
right out of history
Let`s ride with
the family down the street
Through the courtesy
of Fred`s two feet
When you`re
with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
We`ll have a gay old time
The Flintstones!
Meet the Flintstones
They`re the modern
Stone Age family
From the
town of Bedrock
They`re a page
right out of history
Someday maybe
Fred will win the fight
Then that cat will
stay out for the night
When you`re
with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
We`ll have a gay old time
We`ll have a gay old time
Y eah!
I was travelin` to Earth
and what did I spot
A little village by the water
Sign said Bedrock
I met this kid named Freddie
Didn`t wear no socks
He had a part-time gig at
the Gravel Pit slingin` rocks
Said he was into hip hop, could he
kick a spell, I told him go for it
But at first said what you think
I said you`re style is prehistoric
Sounds stuck in the Stone Age
You`re still using a hammer and chisel
Carving out your lyrics
on stone pages
It`s about time you heard a style
from a real before-the-wheel rapper
Set it off
and he said yabba-dabba-doo
Then he got the crew
The fella`s suddenly standing
In the middle of
a crowd of K drummers
Sayin` tell us how you flipped
the script and ripped
I get busy one time
They said yeah, yeah, l`m hip, l`m hip
Didn`t know the time
Didn`t know about fly
So l, you know, I had to show
a Cave Man how to rock
In the Stone Age
I showed a Cave Man
how to rock
In the Stone Age
I showed a Cave Man
how to rock
Barney Rubble
Fred Flintstone
Hey, Freddie boy
Don`t try to get too close
I don`t want to catch
a mammoth dose
We`ll meet at
the Bedrock disco
Who cares when I got T. Rex
on my radio
On this prehistoric day
I feel duty-bound to say
Before I reach
my destination
On this prehistoric day
I feel duty-bound to say
I owes an explanation
Give me one good reason
Give me two good reasons
Give me three good reasons
Why`s men do what they do
Yabba-dabba-doo, Yabba-dabba-doo
Anarchy in Bedrock
Stop in some time
and meet Betty and Wilma
Try some Flint upside-down
Rubble bubble cake
Or just try
Fruity Pebbles
`Cause l
Wanna be
Fred Flintstone
Is this the U.S.D.A.
Is this Hollywood
Is this Bedrock
I thought it was Hollyrock
`Cause l
Wanna be
Fred Flintstone