The Flintstones & WWE: Stone Age Smackdown (2015) Movie Script

What a great morning.
The rising sun,
the tweeting of the Terradons.
Today is the perfect day to ask my
boss for that advance on my paycheck.
Wilma deserves a nice vacation.
What's the matter, Fred?
I'm already late for work.
Hard work, dedication,
a big hammer.
That's how you break rocks.
You listening to me,
Mr. Cenastone?
Absolutely, Mr. Slate.
And please, call me John.
I prefer the formality
of last names.
Just because you're my sister's
husband's nephew once removed,
doesn't mean you get
special privileges.
No, sir. I'm here to work.
Good. Because laziness
is one thing I won't tolerate.
- Also lateness.
- I hate that.
Come on, people.
Some of us got jobs we should
have been at 20 minutes ago.
It's a livin'.
These prontocranes are
delicate pieces of equipment.
Takes a real expert
to run one of these.
Hey, Flintstone!
Flintstone, you'd better
not be sleeping up there!
Yes, Mr. Slate. I was
just adjusting the, uh...
Well, get back to work!
Yes, sir.
I will get back to it.
Work. Which is what I was
doing up here all this time.
Help me!
Hang on, Mr. Slate.
I'll have you down in a jiffy.
There's got to be
an off lever here somewhere.
That was the up lever.
Oh, you think I would have
figured that out by now.
Now, let's see here.
My bad!
Only one left. Got to be it.
Mr. Slate, you okay?
I'm kissing granite here,
Flintstone. Do I look okay?
Listen. This might
not be the best time,
but since I have your attention,
I was wondering if I could get my
paycheck a little early this month?
I'd promised my wife I'd take
the family on a vacation.
A vacation?
To Rockapulco.
A vacation!
You almost got me killed and
you want to go on a vacation!
Well, after a day like today
I could use some R&R.
You probably could too.
You guys okay?
Wow, that was amazing.
You got some moves, kid.
What's your name?
Me? I'm John. John Cenastone.
Good to meet you, John.
- I'm Fred...
- Flintstone, in my office!
There you go.
Your paycheck.
Wow! Mr. Slate,
that's awful generous.
I mean after all that damage I
caused, I thought you'd be mad.
So you are mad.
I'm just gonna go in there and
tell Wilma the vacation's off.
She'll understand.
Wilma, I'm home!
Missed me that time.
Fred? Is that you?
Honey, listen.
There's something I need to
tell you about our vacation.
There's something I need to
show you about our vacation.
Do you like it?
I got it for our trip.
60% off at Marshales.
What did you want to
tell me about the vacation?
Uh, just that, uh...
I'm definitely not canceling it
because of something
that happened at work today.
Well, that's a relief.
I can't even remember the last
time we took a family vacation.
Oh, no.
That's Barney and Betty.
We're supposed to go to the Water
Buffalo Charity Carnival together
and here I am
standing around in my bikini.
I have to get changed.
Tame your pterodactyls.
We'll be right out.
Why don't you honk it again?
I didn't hear it
the first three times!
You hear it that time, Fred?
I can't believe you're
actually going on vacation.
And to Rockapulco.
I know! I feel like the
luckiest girl in the world.
I feel like a complete idiot.
Honk. Honk.
You should have
seen her in that bikini.
I would have liked to have
seen her in that bikini.
Watch it, Rubble!
Hey, I got an idea, Fred.
Wait till you get back from vacation,
then tell her about the paycheck.
But, Barney, we're not
going on vacation.
Oh, don't tell her that, Fred.
It'll ruin your vacation.
You can jump in anytime.
Bamm! Bamm! Bamm!
- Whahoo, yeah!
- Oh, baby!
It's my turn!
Wow, Nikki and Brie Boulder.
So how much is a kiss?
100 clams.
100 clams?
Ooh, that sounds expensive.
Considering you get a kiss from
each of us, it's like half off.
In that case...
I'll take 502.
Fred Flintstone!
Get out of that line!
- But it's for charity.
- Now.
Our charity booth
is all set up, Fred.
I built the ring, put out the donation
bucket and tied on Hoppy's gloves.
Honk. Honk. Honk.
Anything else you need me to do?
Yeah. Tell Wilma
that the trip's off.
Sure thing. Hey, Wilma...
Shh! Pipe down, Barn.
- But you said... - I'm never telling her
and you're not telling her either.
I'm going to find a way
out of this jam myself.
That's a great idea, Fred.
I haven't come up
with the idea yet, Barn.
But when you do,
it's gonna be a good one.
Step right up. Five clams and get
your five minutes in the ring.
Make it to the bell
without Hoppy knocking you
block off and win a prize!
Who wants to take
some licks for charity?
Keep it above the pouch,
all right, buddy?
Honk. Honk.
Honk. Honk. Honk.
Honk. Honk. Honk.
Honk. Honk. Honk. Honk.
Honk. Honk. Honk.
I got this in the bag,
Marble Henry.
I know you do, but seriously,
you can just call me Marble.
I prefer the formality
of last names.
I'm gonna win a prize.
No, no. I'm gonna
win two prizes.
Hey, thanks, man.
Ah, they're both for me.
Win your own prize.
Have fun.
You have fun.
I'm having
a great time. Thanks.
Come on, you big,
ugly jumping Dinorat.
It's take down time!
Honk. Honk.
Hey, easy there, buddy.
He think he's gonna
send me flying?
Think again.
I'm CM Punkrock!
And I got you a first
class ticket to my fist!
Uh, listen.
He's real sensitive.
Maybe you could
cool down the pejoratives?
He's crying.
I made the Kangasaurus cry.
Hey, mister. He's a Hopparoo.
And you're being downright
mean to him.
Oh, what are you going to do
about it, Shrimpo?
I was gonna ask you
to be less mean.
"Less mean"? Like this?
Yo, check it out, Marble Henry.
He ain't so tough now, is he?
He sure ain't.
That's my beloved pet
you're humiliating out there.
I tried talking nice to you but now I
got to take matters into my own hands.
Oh, boy. Easy, Barn.
Honk. Honk.
Uh, Fred, little help here?
Looking good, buddy.
I think you got him.
- Is that...
- Barney!
That's right.
I am CM Punkrock.
I am the best
in the prehistoric world,
thanks to my
straight-edge lifestyle...
Oh, this raw fish
business stinks!
You okay, Barn? I've never
seen you that worked up.
I couldn't just stand there and
watch him tease Hoppy like that.
Hoppy, cut it out!
That tickles.
- Best show I've ever seen.
- We should go again.
I'd pay 50 clams to watch
something like that again.
I would pay
any price to see that.
That was a heck of a show, Flintstone.
Heck of a show.
Why, uh, thanks, Mr. McMagma.
A fella could make a lot of clams
with a spectacle like that.
Barney Rubble, don't you ever do
anything dangerous like that again!
I don't plan on it, Betty.
Help me up, Marble Henry.
I'm coming to bed
in a minute, Betty.
Just got to brush my teeth.
And for this I went to college?
Psst! Barney.
You scared the paste
out of me, Fred.
I'm aware of that.
What are you doing here?
I couldn't sleep.
I got this
brilliant idea in my head.
We could put on another one of those
crazy matches like you did tonight
and charge folks
to come and see it.
I promised Betty I wouldn't
do anything dangerous.
It ain't gonna be dangerous.
It'll be entertainment,
like a show.
Wow. A show?
I'd pay hard-earned clams
to see something like that.
That's what I'm telling you.
If we do this, we can make enough clams
to take both our families on a vacation.
Betty sure would
love a vacation.
What the heck. I'm in.
are you talking to someone?
Nope. Just gargling,
We just need to find
some more guys for the show.
And I think I know
just where to...
Yabba dabba doo!
Hey, Cenastone, you really showed
that dinosaur who's boss yesterday.
Oh, that?
That was no big deal.
Are you kidding?
I tell you, if I had moves like that,
I wouldn't be working in a quarry.
Actually, Mr. Flintstone, I don't
plan on breaking rocks my whole life.
None of us do, kid.
None of us do.
Maybe music is my thing.
Music? With muscles like that?
Listen. Me and my pal Barney
are putting together
a little sports entertainment
event this weekend.
And you my
dinosaur-throwing friend,
would be perfect for it.
Me? You think?
Oh, I don't think. I know.
Now if we could just find a few
more big strong fellas like you,
we'd have ourselves a show.
I might be able to
help you out there.
No, thanks.
- Daniel Bryrock, have a flyer.
- No, thanks, Cenastone.
I don't want your flyer.
- Please, please. I insist.
- I said, "No, I don't".
But I think you wanna say,
yes, you do.
No, I don't!
Yes, you do.
No, I don't!
- Yes, you do!
- No, I don't!
- Yes, you do!
- No, I don't!
- No, you don't!
- Yes, I do!
No, you don't!
I say, yes, I do!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
You think that guy's
coming to the event?
I'm gonna say, no.
Hey, watch where you're going.
- Sorry about that. - You're
that guy from the lodge.
The one who tag teamed me
with that Dinohop.
Hopparoo. He's a Hopparoo.
Well, I think he's a dumbaroo.
And I didn't like getting
kicked out of the ring.
I didn't like it one bit.
And now I got you
right where I want you
- and I'm going to give you...
- Ice cream!
Marble Henry!
We are not giving him ice cream.
We're giving him a beatdown.
Everything okay, Barn?
Everything's fine.
Just having a little chat.
As far as chats go, that one
was on the intimidating side.
You're ice cream's melting.
Come on, Marble Henry.
Let's get outta here.
- You lick this one?
- I can't remember.
No, I licked the other one.
I get the feeling that guy
doesn't like me so much.
Don't sweat it, buddy.
We got bigger fish to fry.
Fred, dinner's almost ready.
Uh, honey, didn't I tell you?
I'm playing poker
with the boys tonight.
Hey, what's cookin'?
Smells delicious!
Sorry I'm missing it.
Got to go!
Don't wait up!
Yeah, Wilma?
You're not going to try to
double our vacation fund
in some harebrained
poker game, are you?
I am not gonna try to double our vacation
fund in some harebrained poker game.
That is a fact.
There's nothing to
worry about, sweetheart.
Your Freddy boy's
got it all under control.
When Freddy boy
says don't worry,
I start worrying.
We are good to go, Barn.
Wilma doesn't suspect a thing.
You're sure no one's gonna care
if we use the fairgrounds?
It's empty for the season.
Besides we can't just go back
to the Water Buffalo Lodge.
People have been there,
done that.
Trust me. This spot's the perfect
venue for tonight's scheme.
You mean "event". Right, Fred?
That's what I said.
Oh, sorry, Fred. I could have
sworn you said "scheme."
Focus. Barney. I need
you givin' 111% tonight.
Look at that crowd, Barney.
Every one of them
is worth 10 clams.
We've already got enough to take the
wives and kids on a week-long vacation.
Yeah, now all we have to do is make them
not want to ask for their clams back.
Don't worry, pal. These guys
are itching for action.
- Uh-oh.
- Huh?
Wake up, wake up, wake up!
Sorry, Mr. Flintstone. I pulled a
double shift at the quarry today.
Come on, guys. We got
paying customers out there,
waiting for the show
of their lives.
This is no time
for shell phones.
Or tablets.
I need you guys looking tough.
That's more like it!
What's with this suit, Mysteriopal?
You look ridiculous.
Hey, my sleeve!
Hey, my other sleeve!
Now we're getting somewhere.
I just need to do something
about them slacks.
How did you know
I was wearing these?
Uh... I didn't.
Let's just consider this
a lucky break.
These must have been
left over from the circus.
Wait, Fred.
Why do I need these?
For your match.
Whoa! No, no, no, Fred.
I promised Betty...
Like I said, this ain't dangerous.
It's an event.
- I don't know.
- Think about it, Barn.
Your beautiful family
on the beach.
Not a care in the world.
The sound of lapping waves, the
smell of the crisp ocean air.
How can Betty
get mad about that?
Barney, you're the best
husband ever!
Bamm! Bamm! Bamm! Bamm!
Okay, I'll do it.
Are these things supposed
to be this tight?
They're creeping up
something terrible.
I hope you know
what you're doing.
That makes two of us.
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,
are you ready for action?
We're about to make
prehistory tonight.
Two will enter the ring
for the match of their lives.
But only one can be
the champion.
It's caveman versus caveman in
the ultimate sports spectacular!
Flintstone might be
onto something here.
John Cenastone...
Versus Rey Mysteriopal.
All right, guys.
You know what to do.
Uh, Mr. Flintstone,
we don't know what to do.
Get out there and put a hurt
on each other.
But we're friends.
Work with me, Cenastone.
All you got to do is treat Mysteriopal
like that dinosaur the other day.
You toss him around a bit,
get the crowd excited.
Give 'em a show!
Oh, a show?
Right, you got it.
- Huh?
- Huh?
- Hey!
- Hey! What's going...
Where are you going?
I tossed him around
just like you said.
Sports entertainment is fun.
- But wait!
- One move and it's over?
I want my clams back.
- I don't believe this.
- This isn't good.
You got to win 'em back, Barney.
- But, Fred...
- But nothing.
That was just
an appetizer, folks.
Now it's time
for the main event.
Battling Barney Rubble...
Hey, buddy, I just realized
I never caught your name.
The Undertaker.
Wow, that is some scary name.
I don't know if I want
to do this anymore.
Barney, stop running!
Get in there.
My ears hear you, Fred, but
my feet got a different idea.
Let me out of here!
Barney, come down from there.
- No!
- Get down!
I don't wanna.
These people paid
to see some action.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa!
Which means you've
got to give 'em some action.
I like it up here.
Sorry, buddy. I got to do
this, for the vacation.
- What happened?
- You pinned him, Barn.
Just hold him there.
One, two...
Barney Rubble, what do
you think you're doing?
One, two, three!
Barney, you come out
of that cage this instant!
I don't want to come out.
It's safer in here.
Fred Flintstone.
Hi, honey.
Don't "Hi, honey" me.
You raise this cage right now!
Oh, boy!
You look
beautiful tonight, Betty.
Did you do something
different with your hair?
Not even a little.
You said you weren't going
to try to double our clams
in some harebrained scheme.
Actually I said I wasn't going
to try to double our clams
in some harebrained poker game.
I did, however, double our clams in a
harebrained sports entertainment event.
Now, we can all go on a real
vacation to Rockapulco together.
Is that true, Barney?
This was all so we could
go on vacation together?
Sure was.
Fred came up with the idea
after he destroyed the quarry,
nearly killed his boss and
had his paycheck taken away.
He what?
Now, honey, I know you're mad,
but I need you to keep
something in mind.
Rockapulco, Rockapulco.
Okay, but you better not
do this again.
Cross my heart, Wilma.
I got the vacation fund,
I'm done.
Come on, Barney.
- That was amazing.
- Best show I've ever seen.
Oh, wasn't it awesome?
Man, I can't wait
to watch the next one.
I'm going to
buy a T-shirt.
Flintstone, you've got yourself
something real special here.
Flintstone! Flintstone!
Flintstone! Flintstone!
You've got yourself
something real special here.
You know my policy on laziness.
Mr. Slate, I'm sorry.
I just...
One more slip up from you
and you're fired!
But, Mr. Slate...
You know what? I quit.
I don't need this job anyway.
I got something else going.
Something special, something
that's gonna make me rich.
What are you
slow-clapping about?
Knock it off!
You better get out of my way.
I got a proposition for you.
I got a proposition for you.
Get outta our way.
That's totally not
a proposition, Marble Henry.
- Sorry, Punkrock.
- Continue, Flintstone.
How would you like
to get even with Barney?
The guy with the Kangarino?
It's a Hopparoo,
but, yeah, that's the fella.
What? Like a rematch?
Exactly like a rematch.
By the way, it's tonight
at the Bedrock Arena.
The rematch on live television.
Call the Boulder twins. Nikki
and Brie are always up for fun.
Psst! Barney.
Geez, Fred,
ever heard of a front door?
I did something, Barney. Something
that's gonna make us rich.
Richer than rich.
I should like the sound of that,
but for some reason I'm skeptical.
We didn't go big enough,
so we're gonna do
another match tonight.
I signed a contract
with a television station.
I rented out the Bedrock Arena
and bought this fancy suit.
Where did you get
the clams for that?
I spent the vacation fund.
You did what?
You've been in there a while.
Everything okay?
Yeah, not really.
Fred, you got to get
those clams back.
Oh, forget it.
Those clams are chump change compared
to what we're gonna make tonight.
No, I can't do it. I'm done.
Hey, you can't be done.
I haven't even
told you the best part.
The main event is going to be a
rematch between you and CM Punkrock.
That's not the best part. That
sounds like the worst part.
That fellow scares me.
You know what
your problem is, Barney?
You got no vision.
You're not dreaming big enough.
You got clam-fever, Fred.
Think about the girls.
Think about the kids. Think
about the umbrella drinks.
You're right, Barney.
You were really freaking me out.
I'm going to get the clams.
Good. Good, Fred.
I'm gonna get all the clams.
You say something?
Nope, not a word.
Welcome, Bedrock, to the
Saturday night spectacle.
A few days ago, I was just some
schlub working at the quarry.
But now look at me.
Fancy suit,
sunglasses, pinky ring.
I'm swimming in clams
and it's all because I didn't give up
on a dream I've had for almost a week.
I found the meanest,
the toughest,
the wildest superstars
in Bedrock
and they're here tonight
to serve up a beatdown!
John Cenastone!
Rey Mysteriopal.
And The Undertaker.
Barney! Barney!
Uh, yeah, about that, uh...
Now, I know I may have said
something about a rematch
between Barney
and CM Punkrock...
But Barney
couldn't make it tonight.
Forget Barney.
Who needs Rubble
when you got me?
And these guys. You can't
forget about these guys.
Fellas, what's the big deal?
- Forget Barney?
- He's your best friend.
"Was" my best friend.
And he's gonna be sorry when I
take me straight to the top.
Us. Us straight to the top.
I meant us.
Listen. You two are up first.
But I can't have any more
good-natured tickle fights.
I want to see you two
destroy each other.
But we like each other.
Not anymore, you don't.
The people want drama.
So from now on you're enemies
who can't wait to tear
each other's heads off.
In a family-friendly way,
of course.
Mr. Flintstone, this isn't
really what we signed up for.
Fame, fortune.
What more could you want?
- Friends.
- No Barney, no us.
Wait. Guys.
Not cool, Fred. Not cool.
The Undertaker,
I thought we were buds.
Oh, boy.
You offended your superstars,
you lied to your best friend,
you lost your
vacation fund. Again.
Fred Flintstone, you bonehead.
What have you done?
Where is he?
Where is Rubble?
That Kangahop-loving shrimpo,
Barney Dumbbell may have got
lucky the first time,
but it looks like he's too
chicken to face me again.
Maybe that chicken is a turkey.
Good one, sis.
- We want Rubble!
- Where is he?
I came for a rematch
and I want my rematch!
Rematch! Rematch!
Rematch! Rematch! Rematch!
Let's get out of here.
Rubble isn't going to show.
Barney Rubble is my best friend,
but I lied to him and told
him this match was canceled.
So maybe it's time I make things
right and get in the ring myself.
I'm gonna destroy you.
Let's yabba dabba do this!
I still can't believe
we're all going to Rockapulco.
Yeah. For once it seems like one of
Fred's crazy schemes actually paid off.
Uh, Betty, Wilma?
You might want to see this.
I didn't think he was
gonna go through with it.
He said he was going to get
the vacation fund back.
Come on, Flintstone.
The people want a show.
You would think our radiant
hotness would be enough.
Maybe we need
to turn up the heat.
Give the people what they want.
Who are those girls?
It doesn't matter, Betty.
Because all the well-toned muscle and
over-priced hair product in the world
can't save them.
This is more fun than
making a Hopakang cry.
He's a Hopparoo!
Did I do that?
That's what I do!
Pretty lights!
Thanks, fellas.
The Undertaker.
Hi, buddy,
great to see... You?
You're messing with
the world's strongest caveman!
Rest in peace!
There's only one best
in the prehistoric world
and that's me!
This is getting ridiculous.
Nobody hurts my friend.
Got it, mister?
- We were just...
- Leaving.
Barney! You saved me!
Ah, Fred you would have
done the same for me.
I was a real jerk.
If I'd have listened to you
in the first place,
we wouldn't have gotten caught
up in all these hijinks.
If it wasn't for hijinks, we
wouldn't have any jinks at all.
Bamm! Bamm! Bamm! Bamm!
Wow. That kid's got
some serious skills.
Don't even think about it, Fred.
I know what
you're gonna say, Wilma.
But I swear, this time I'm done.
I'm just glad you're okay, Fred.
Flintstone, where are you going?
You can't leave now.
This is a big time idea
you've got here.
I'm not looking
for the big time, Mr. McMagma.
I was just looking to take my
family and friends to Rockapulco.
Hey, why don't you
take the idea?
You'd be doing me a favor.
Then the least I can do is send
you on an all-expense paid trip.
Drinks and gratuities included?
It would be my pleasure.
I'm going to make the biggest sports
even if it takes me
65 million years.
Ah, Rockapulco with my best
girl and my best friends.
It couldn't be more perfect.
Yeah, Fred,
I have to give it to you.
Your harebrained scheme
actually paid off.
Barney, don't encourage him.
He's just lucky Mr. Slate
gave him his job back.
He had to.
Turns out clam fever was an
actual medical condition.
You know, when you think about it, I
was a victim in this whole thing.
Don't worry, Wilma.
I learn't my lesson.
Attention, ladies and gentlemen.
The karaoke contest is about
to begin in the hotel lounge.
Karaoke contest?
That sounds like fun.
Forget it, Barn.
We're here to relax.
We're not getting caught up
in anymore hijinks.
The first place winner will
automatically make it into the top 10
on this year's
season of Prehistoric Idol.
Your singing career
starts here, folks.
Should we try to stop them?
Would it matter if we did?
Yabba dabba doo!