The House of Magic (2013) Movie Script

Hey! Wait!
You forgot me!
Hey, hey. Watch it, cat!
- Hey, hey, hey, gato!
- Huh?
I saw them people kick you out.
What did you do,
scratch up their couch?
- Pee on the carpet?
- What?
No. I didn't do anything wrong.
Oh, you must've
done something, amigo,
'cause they chucked you
like a day-old burrito.
It happens all the time.
The streets are full of
cute kitties nobody wants.
Hey, you think I can come with you?
You crack me up.
A gato hanging out with the dawg?
I don't think so, mi bro.
I get two minutes to pee? That's all?
Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming.
Man, this lack of physical
activity is gonna stunt my growth.
Hey! Hold on!
Do you have any idea
where I am?
Cool place.
Well, hi, there.
Oh, don't be afraid.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
I'm just looking for
a place... to stay.
Wait a second.
Please, don't run away.
Oh, come on, now. This is crazy.
Let me explain.
Hold on!
I just wanna talk to you is all.
Stay away from me!
- What?
- Back off!
Jack, this monster tried to eat me.
No, I didn't.
I don't even like mice.
Do you think we are fools?
We all know cats eat mice.
I'm warning you.
Keep your mangy paws off of Maggie.
- Get me?
- Honest, I wasn't going to eat her.
Enough talk!
Please, you don't understand.
- I'm lost.
- Sorry.
Not our problem.
Everybody in these parts
knows this property is off limits.
Yeah. Especially to strays.
I'm not a stray.
That was close.
Yeah. We don't need anyone coming
in and messing things up for us.
You know how the old man gets
all mushy, lovey-dovey with cats.
Ain't that the truth, Jack.
Good thing we got rid of him in time.
Indeed, indeed.
What a day!
You know he dislikes the cold.
Can't say I blame him.
Edison here performed a
double-twisted somersault
into the toilet bowl!
Quite the performance, I must say.
Pass me the little screwdriver.
The purple one, yes.
Thank you, Twiggoo.
Almost done.
There you go.
Good as new.
You're quite welcome.
Next time, be more careful.
Don't use the restroom
as your playground.
Speaking of performances,
I remember my first
like it was yesterday.
Drum roll, please!
It was 1954.
I had performed magic to great
success all over Europe and Asia.
But this was by far and away my
most accomplished trick ever.
Ladies and gentlemen,
if you are squeamish,
cover your eyes!
I and I alone, a mere mortal,
will be the only thing
standing between you
and 1,000 flying daggers!
Who could that be at this hour?
Oh my! An intruder?
Everyone, quickly, hide.
Okay! Let's see who wants
to break into our house!
Oh, come on, Uncle Lawrence!
Oh, Daniel, it's you.
Not another one of your
stupid tricks. Open the box.
Yes, yes, sorry.
I... I thought you were a burglar.
A burglar?
I couldn't open your rusty
old door, that's all.
Yeah, I know, I need to fix it.
So much to do.
Just get me out of this contraption!
That won't be a problem.
As soon as I find the key.
Are you kidding me, Uncle Larry?
I don't have time for this!
Of course, time is money.
Whatever that means.
So nice of you to visit.
Would you like some tea,
or maybe some cookies?
Uncle Lawrence, I got a call
from the power company.
You forgot to pay your utility bills.
Here it is!
It was in my pocket all the time.
Not funny.
Watch out for your hands.
And your nose.
Oh, I am sick and tired
of your silly tricks!
You used to love them.
Uncle Lawrence, we need
to talk about this house.
Oh. What exactly is
there to talk about?
- Is there a cat in here?
- A cat?
No, I don't believe so.
Why do you ask?
Look at me.
Maybe you're allergic
to something else?
Ooh, did I ask you if
you'd like some cookies?
No cookies!
If I stay in here any longer,
I'll blow up like a blimp!
- Gesundheit!
- I'm allergic to two things.
Wasting time...
and cats.
You should think about
selling this place.
I've got clients who would love to put
their hands on a property like this.
They'd pay top dollar.
Why would I do that?
This house has been in the
family for generations.
I know you're a great
real estate agent.
If I sold it, where would I go?
How about a nice retirement home?
Retire? That's for old people.
And besides, where would
I put all my belongings?
I would get rid of all this junk.
Junk? This is not junk.
My whole life is in here.
Whatever! Just...
Pay your bills!
He was such a nice kid.
What happened?
Oh, don't you worry, everyone.
I'm not going to sell my house.
What would become of me
without all of you around?
This house is enchanted.
Isn't that right, Maggie?
Come up here, Jack.
Where's Edison?
I need to put some oil on
his new rewind spring.
Oh, my... Oh.
Or he'll stop working again.
Wouldn't want any of you
getting yourself all rusty
and not able to work any more.
That wouldn't do.
What was that all about?
I haven't the foggiest but I tell you,
I never liked that nephew of his.
He's up to no good, I say.
No good indeed.
Jack, look! He came back.
Why, the nerve of that pipsqueak!
Get him, Jack.
Oh, you are so going to regret this.
Oh, what do we have here?
How did you get in here?
Did Jack let you in?
Well, hello there.
Such a cute little kitty, isn't he?
Oh, I can't believe it!
He's falling for it.
Someone left you all alone, did they?
Yes, I know.
It's a big scary world
out there, isn't it?
Well, you don't have to
worry any more, little fella.
We'll keep each other company.
What shall we call you?
Whoa! That's it?
Thunder, this is your new family!
New family? Give me a break.
A squatter is what he is.
Old Jack here can be a
bit grumpy sometimes,
68th in a litter of 70.
I'm sure he'll warm up to you.
Don't count on it.
And this is little Maggie.
Jack's indispensable companion.
Those two are Carlo and Carla,
our resident lovebirds.
Look how cute he is, no?
I don't like cats.
You are cute.
No, gorgeous, bellissima!
Mi amore.
- Don't stop.
- All right, everyone,
let's give a warm welcome to the
newest member of our family.
I once performed for
the King of Brunei!
Oh, yes. The trick was called...
...The Embodiment of Princess Khan.
Oh, those were
wonderful times, Thunder,
wonderful times to be a magician.
- Psst. Hey, you, thunder pants.
- Huh?
Hi, Jack. Hi, Maggie.
Lose the niceties, buster.
- What do you mean?
- Can it.
You must think you've
hit the catnip jackpot.
We know what you're up to.
I'm not up to anything.
Look, pal, we've been with
Lawrence for a long time.
We're not about to let you meow
yourself in here and take over.
I'm not trying to...
Oh. Oh.
...take over.
All right, here's the deal.
Be gone by sunrise or find
yourself in a position
you won't be able to
purr your way out of.
But he said I could stay,
be a part of the family.
He even gave me a new name.
Oh, yeah.
Thunder, boom boom, some name.
This isn't up for discussion.
Like we told you,
our house is off limits to outsiders.
Consider this a one-night stand.
How we doin', guys?
Oop. Pass, kick, goal!
Fur ball's still here!
And that's my bowl!
Just in time, my friend.
We're running late this morning.
- You just don't get it, do you?
- You crossed the line.
I don't understand.
Isn't he the boss here?
Not as far as you're concerned.
I'll deal with you when I get back.
Sorry, Thunder, not today.
Hey, where are they going?
No, Thunder. You have to stay here,
look after the house.
Hey, look what I have for you.
Oh, why not?
I think I have an idea.
Good morning, everyone!
Good morning, Mr Lawrence!
So, Izzy. Can you give me your money?
I don't have any money.
What do you mean you don't have any?
Of course you do.
Great. How many times are
you going to do that trick?
Oh, I guess you're right, Dylan.
Let's see what else I have here.
Hey, kids, who can tell me what
other tricks a magician performs?
I know. He pulls a
rabbit from his hat.
Absolutely right, Izzy.
This trick requires
complete concentration.
Presto. Poof!
It's a carrot!
Oops! I must be slipping.
My rabbit should have been in there.
A simple explanation.
The other hat.
That's not a rabbit!
Oh, dear! So it is.
I'm afraid I'm losing my touch.
The rabbit! The rabbit!
He's taking the carrot!
What did you say?
Where did my carrot go?
It's a white mouse!
A mouse? Oh! Where?
There! On your head!
Oh! It's Maggie.
Come down here.
- No!
- The cat's going to eat her!
Oh, no! That's not good.
I can't believe it!
Oh, no. You didn't!
Oh, no.
Did he?
Children, allow me to introduce
the newest member of our troupe!
He's cuter than the old rabbit.
You're dead.
I say we kick him off the trunk now.
He won't find his way back.
But Jack.
Maybe you should give the
kitty a little break?
Stay out of it.
I've got a better idea.
- Here, poke him, Jack.
- With pleasure.
What is going on back there?
Thunder, no!
Oh, no!
What happened to my brakes?
I can't stop!
Hey, hey! Look who it is! Mi bro!
You look like you just used up
eight of them nine lives you got.
What is up with that?
Why'd you go gato crazy and
attack that old man for?
What? No.
Oh, you need to control yourself.
Those claws could shred a dude to pieces!
Now I know why them people
booted you out like they did.
You be one nasty gato!
What happened? Where is everyone?
You sent that old man
to the hospital.
Or maybe the cemetery, chico.
- He looked like day-old refries.
- Oh, no.
What have I done?
Hey, stop it! We're in public.
- You got to keep your stuff together, man.
- I didn't mean to hurt him.
Okay, okay, maybe you didn't.
What do I know?
I'm a dog, not a doctor.
Maybe they just took him back home.
S, s, that's probably
what they did.
You really think so?
Come on, I'll walk a piece with you.
Well, that would be great.
I'm feeling a little out of it.
- What happened to your leash?
- I got rid of it.
I put my paw down.
Got all freaky in the house.
Did my stinky business.
Now I'm in charge. No more leash.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold your enchiladas.
This is where you live?
- Yeah.
- Oh, no.
This is one spooky old casa, mi bro.
I heard this story about
this big-toothed were-rabbit
and this evil white mouse.
Man, they got some black magic
goin' on and ghosts, too!
It's mucho peligroso.
You know, haunted.
- No, it's not.
- That's what the word on the street is.
Hey, man, I gotta go.
Seriously. I really gotta go.
Good luck to ya!
Jack, what's wrong?
I don't know. It appears as
if I may have broken my leg.
No. Let me see.
It doesn't look good.
You gotta get that fixed.
Oh, that miserable cat!
Look on the bright side.
We got rid of him.
I suppose you're right.
- Ouch.
- Someone's coming.
Uncle Lawrence, Uncle Lawrence?
Danny? Is that you?
Yes, it is.
Where am I?
In the hospital.
Oh, I don't feel very well.
Of course not.
You're too old to be running all over
town putting on these little shows.
Too old to make children laugh?
Uncle Lawrence, I should
be at work right now.
We... We can't go on like this.
Look, I think I've found the
perfect place for you to live
when you get out of here.
What's going on, Mags?
It's the nephew. He's going
on about some papers.
Papers? What for?
Have a look at this brochure.
Rhode Island.
I think you're gonna love it.
You're taking me to an island?
Oh, nice of you.
I'll be back a bit later.
There are some papers I need you
to sign. Now, try and get some rest.
Two to one, he's trying to
take advantage of the old man.
Which doesn't sound
good for us, either.
We really need to get out of here.
These men in a car with
flashing lights took him away.
I thought they were
bringing him home.
So, I guess he is not here, then?
Do you understand what I'm saying?
What's going on?
Oh, please, guys,
you're freaking me out.
Oh, stop it. You're tickling me.
For a second there I thought...
Never mind.
Lawrence should be home soon.
In the meantime, I'll take care of you
and we will all look after the house.
- He looks pretty bad.
- Keep your voice down.
Mr Lawrence?
Mr Lawrence? It's Izzy and Dylan.
We heard you had an accident.
We should let him rest.
What was that?
Look, it's the magic trunk!
Be quiet.
- Let's open it.
- I'm not sure it's a good idea.
Okay, Carlo, Carla, this is our chance.
You must warn the others at the house.
- Oh, boy. Now we're in trouble.
- I told you.
Maybe they know their way back home.
Let's hope so.
What about the other animals?
Where's the cat?
- What are you doing here?
- Nurse Baxter.
You have no business going through
Mr Lawrence's personal effects.
- We were just...
- But the animals...
Oh, Izzy.
What animals?
Oh! Oh, dear!
A mouse!
These animals do not belong in here.
They'll have to go.
You can't just kick them out.
Oh, don't be concerning
yourselves about that.
Back to your rooms.
I told you.
Carlo, Carla.
- Carlo, look, it's the kitty.
- We didn't think you made it!
What happened to Lawrence?
Oh, he's laid up in the hospital,
all banged up.
- Oh, no!
- And Jack's hurt pretty bad, too.
But we got a bigger problem.
Jack says his nephew's
gonna take care of us.
- And not in a good way.
- We have to stop him!
First, I guess we have to find
out what he's up to, right?
That's true!
We have to stay alert.
Be ready for anything.
Carlo, Carla, you're on lookout!
Edison, Twiggoo, come with me!
It has to go.
- Couldn't this have waited until tonight?
- I'm afraid not.
Why didn't you just chuck it?
He won't need it any more.
There are animals in it and
they are not allowed in here.
Fine. I'll take care of it.
- Danny?
- I need you to sign this.
It gives me power of attorney
to handle your affairs
while you're in the hospital.
The power company, you say?
Power of...
Never mind. Just put your
John Hancock right there.
So nice of you to
pay my bills, Daniel.
Can you feed the animals
and then water the plants?
Sure, you won't have to worry.
- I'll take care of everything.
- Jerk.
Aren't we forgetting something?
Oh, mi amore, mi amore!
- He's here.
- Who, what?
Hey, the trunk.
I say, that's quite a load
you're hauling there, Daniel.
Perhaps someone should
give you a hand with that?
As a matter of fact...
- Reggie, your tuxedo.
- Oh, yes, of course.
- No, I had no intentions of...
- No worries. I've got it.
I'm thrilled you could make
it on such short notice.
You're the first I'm showing it to.
Audrey, you look positively
stunning this evening!
Oh, Daniel, you charmer.
Well, how's the real estate
market treating you?
Oh, I'm crazy busy.
What recession, right?
It appears as if it
needs a bit of repair.
Yes, but the house has good bones.
Thunder, they're talking
about fixing up the house.
That's good. Maybe that
nephew is not all that bad.
No, it's bad.
Daniel wants to sell the house
behind Lawrence's back.
And we'll all get kicked out.
- Oh!
- Are you sure?
That's what happened to me.
What can we do?
Che cosa?
I got an idea.
I would suspect the place is quite a
handful to maintain for an old man.
Careful, Reg!
We're on our way to our
annual charity ball, you see.
Why don't we go on in, then?
- Oh!
- Daniel, stop these infernal...
I am so sorry.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...
Shall we reschedule, then?
Lose our number!
Damned birds.
Oh. I'm sure there's a cat in here.
- Jack, Maggie, are you okay?
- What do you think?
Come on, hurry up.
Get us out of here.
We're working on it. Just hold on.
- Is that who I think it is?
- I thought we got rid of him for good.
Come on, all together. Roll it over.
Hi, Jack.
Don't think your little act of kindness
makes up for what you did to Lawrence.
None of this would have
happened if you didn't poke me.
You were there. Tell them.
We really didn't see nothing.
He's made a mess of everything.
The old man is furious!
That's an understatement.
He's ready to kill you.
I don't believe you.
If Lawrence doesn't want
me here, fine, I'll leave.
Look, mate.
I'll tell you what's true.
We could lose this house.
Everything we ever loved.
And you're to blame.
Wait, you need me to save the house.
The nephew's allergic to cats, right?
You're all safe as long as I'm here.
The cat's got a point.
I can't catch a break.
Can you help me get out of here?
Sorry, my friend. I messed
things up pretty good.
I should have listened to Lawrence.
Daniel's going to sell the house.
Jack's right. When Lawrence
comes back, he'll kick me out.
I'll end up a stray again.
You're right, Edison.
After all, he was so nice when he took
me in. He said I was part of the family.
You don't kick out family, do you?
Look, about this cat.
I'm not sure it's a good idea
to keep him in the house.
We should get rid of
him once and for all.
Danny boy really can't stand cat hair.
He could be our best line of defence.
He's not alone.
We're counting on you two.
Don't let us down.
Oh, no, not again!
Make sure you hit him,
too, this time.
Mrs Johnson?
Lasandra, Lasandra Johnson.
A pleasure. What a nice
little dog you have here.
Tickle, tickle. Tickle, tickle.
What's gotten into you, sugar?
Okay, calm down. Mommy's here.
Shall we? So, do you live in the area?
But I am looking for a bigger place.
Gonna open up a hair salon.
You know, you can make a fortune
with them Brazilian blowouts.
Ooh, you best be givin'
me some space, mister!
Sorry, bit of a bird problem.
Not enough fibre, I suppose.
Never mind.
He must have saw us coming!
What are we gonna do now?
We go to Plan B.
Huh, Plan B?
Perhaps a little rodent infestation
to discourage one from buying?
I like this Plan B.
Okay, I'm on it. I won't
let you down, Jack.
I have one eensy-weesy problem.
Problem? You need to have
full disclosure, I know my...
No, no, no, you see,
the owner had a cat.
And I'm super allergic to cats.
I don't smell nothing.
Take your time.
Have a good look around.
I'll be right out here if
you have any questions.
He must still have that
wretched cat in here!
Oh, honey, that man
has a screw loose.
This place is makin'
my fur stand on end.
I don't want to be fighting
no creepy critters.
What is up with you today?
Now, you stay here.
Momma's gonna be right back.
Oh, well, I do like
this staircase, though.
Okay, okay, no time to panic.
There's got to be an open
window around here somewhere.
Get a grip. Keep your cool. Breathe.
I wonder where that wacky gato is.
Probably done turned him into a ghost.
Hey, what are you doing here?
Psst, dog!
- Who that?
- Up here! It's me, Thunder.
- The cat.
- Hey, is that you, gato?
Ooh, I knew this place was freaky!
They done turned you into a bird!
Not really.
They locked me up in here.
What's the matter? No more warm
and fuzzy part of the family for you?
Well, it's complicated.
I betcha there's one of them
dog cemeteries up in here
or some nasty ghosts floating around.
- Why my owner wants to buy it beats me.
- We've got to stop her.
That's what I'm saying, mi bro!
You got to help me out of here.
Okay, okay, sure,
how am I gonna do that?
Grab my tail.
I knew it!
Are you sure?
What if I rip your tail off?
I doubt that. Come on, grab it!
Ooh, that's a whole lot of stairs.
Oh, my baby!
Yahoo! Thanks!
Whatever. Can we get our
butts out of here now?
Follow me.
I got you, damned cat!
It's the Boston River for you!
Bye-bye, allergy.
What did you do to my dog?
At least that mangy cat's gone.
Well done, Maggie.
- Huh?
- You scared that woman big-time.
We got rid of her.
Oh, yes, of course, absolutely!
What about the cat?
It appears fur ball took advantage
of your diversion to escape.
Oh, never mind. We can do
without him. From now on,
we have a super-rodent in the house.
Guys, there is a cat outside!
These grapes are divine!
You're spoiling me.
Where did you get them?
Look! There's a cat on the sill.
It's Thunder!
You little rascal!
What are you waiting for?
Come over here.
How long have you had him?
He just showed up at my
house a couple of days ago.
I don't think he's a stray.
Too clean, well-behaved.
No nametag, though.
Maybe he's lost.
Abandoned, more likely.
That's awful. Such a cute little cat.
Tough times nowadays.
Lots of people losing their houses,
no way to take care of their pets.
Come on, Thunder.
- What's wrong?
- He's afraid of you.
Probably thinks I'm mad
at him for what happened.
No, it wasn't your fault.
- Can we keep him?
- I'd love to
but, you know Nurse Baxter.
Yeah, you're right,
she's a mean cookie.
Oh, not really.
Tough maybe, but not mean.
This is a hospital, after all.
Perhaps you should
go back to the house,
keep the others company.
I've asked Daniel to
take care of all of you.
No need to worry, I'll be
back before you know it.
There you two are!
What are you hiding?
- Step aside!
You mustn't bother Mr Lawrence.
Not at all! I enjoy their company.
We were about to
play a game of cards.
Eight, nine, ten.
All right, limber up, now.
What's your mantra, soldier?
I'm a tiger, I'm a predator,
my hee-yah bite will be lethal!
Perfect! We're ready
for our next visitor.
Lots of potential,
I could knock that wall through,
make it an open plan down here.
I'm feeling kind of, boutique hotel.
Wonderful. So you like it, then?
Do I? My arm hair is standing on end!
Let me call my wife,
she should have been here by now.
She will be positively mad for it!
I believe she's here!
Why don't you continue your tour?
I'll greet your wife.
What a magnificent staircase!
Very Gone With The Wind-ish.
How divine would a splash of
umbra be! With gold accents!
No mercy!
Now, what have we here?
A kung fu mouse? Hysterical!
Wow, looks like
somebody's in trouble.
- Everything's under control!
- If you say so.
The seller is very motivated to sell.
- In this market...
- Hey, wait, get me out of here.
Mortgage rates are quite favourable,
as I'm sure you're well aware of.
Does the house come furnished?
Oh, I'm certain I could
convince the owner
to part with some of his
rather eclectic furnishings.
I suppose it's... How do you say...
A diamond in the rough.
- I'm sure I could make something out of it.
- I told you she'd love it.
Sounds like things are
getting serious. Come on.
Let me show you the
living room, Mrs Eames.
I think you're going to love it.
Full of that Old World charm.
Now, the fireplace works, and...
- Sorry. Cat allergy.
- I don't see any cat in here.
He's gone but the
dander is everywhere.
I just need a bit of
fresh air, if you don't mind.
I'll be on the front
porch if you have any...
I forgot to mention,
the wine cellar is that way.
Ooh, now you're talking my language.
Could be quite charming.
Naturally, it will need
a complete overhaul.
Oh, I love those vintage utensils.
Too vintage maybe.
Plumbing seems to be okay.
Typical, inferior brands.
Oh. That's odd.
I can't... I can't...
Whoever is doing this,
you are going to regret it!
Somebody, help!
Help! Somebody, help me, please!
Darling, they have a
1939 Chateau Margaux!
Don't you just love
this place, it's like...
Oh, please, get me out of here.
But darling, it's a
1939 Chateau Margaux.
Quite a marvellous...
What happened?
You tell me.
But I don't understand!
This house is haunted!
Haunted? That's absurd.
What are you saying?
My wife is a liar?
No! Of course not.
I'm just saying that there
must be a logical explanation.
Enough talk! I know what I've seen!
This is a weird and creepy place.
I was so, so frightened!
This house is most certainly haunted.
Yes, you heard me! Haunted!
No! What is going on here?
Probably my uncle's stupid little
gadgets getting out of control again.
People must think the
house is booby-trapped.
Time to get rid of all this junk!
Damn allergy!
Did you see that?
Thunder got rid of those
people and Daniel, too!
That was a great plan!
Thunder is a genius!
- It's just good teamwork.
- Hold on, not so fast.
What's going on here?
First you run away,
then you show up and act
like you own the place?
- I went to the hospital to see Lawrence.
- Liar!
Cool your paws, Mags.
So, you saw the old man, did ya?
Well, tell us, then,
which of his legs did he injure?
See? You never went.
His left leg! It's in a harness.
And his right arm, too!
Thunder is right.
And I can tell you for sure,
he is not mad at me.
Well, here's how it's
going to go. Get him.
Get the cat, I said!
So this is the way it's going to be?
You're going to regret it.
Come on, we need to
stick together. Daniel's furious.
We have to expect the worst.
I've got a new strategy
and it involves you two.
No way!
You're all a bunch of losers.
Come on, guys, we'll show
them who's a bunch of losers!
Oh, not again.
I am glad I'll be going home soon.
"Rhode Island Senior
Retirement Home."
Definitely not my kind of place.
So I slapped the guy around a bit and
that was the end of the discussion.
That's what I call
taking care of business.
So what's the deal with this place,
some kinda museum or what?
Nah, the realtor said it was full
of some old magic dude's junk.
We gotta clean the place out.
And watch it there, some of
this stuff is pretty fragile.
I guess that's one for the dump.
Who are these guys? Doesn't look
like they're here to buy the house.
No matter. Once Daniel
gets back, we make our move.
Okay, let's get hustling
and no napping.
Sooner we get this done,
sooner we get paid.
Let Zoltar predict your future!
What's a Zoltar?
"Falling sky."
What's that supposed to mean?
Hey, watch it, will you, Mark?
Hey, what are you talking about?
I didn't do nothing.
Sure you didn't, you big doofus.
I thought there was no one in here.
Come on, stop dropping stuff on me?
What kind of joke is this?
Let Zoltar predict your future!
Get away from me, you stupid Zoltar,
or whatever you are!
- Come on, come on, open...
- Accept your future.
I thought I heard music.
Hey, where's all my stuff?
Hey, how did you get there?
Okay, okay, calm down,
there must be a way out.
Get away from me! Get away!
Hey, where you going?
Stop it, stop it! Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Let me out of this chair!
Let me out! Let me out! No, no, no!
- Oh!
- Mikey!
What in the world are you?
Make it go away, Mark.
Back off, you... you... you...
you whatever you are.
You smell something burning?
- Oh!
- Mike, Mike, Mike...
Mike, Mike, Mike!
Where are they going?
They can't be done!
What in the damn of...
You gotta be kidding me! What a mess.
Oh, I should have known you
had something to do with this.
Get over here!
I'm coming for you, cat!
There will be no mercy!
We're looking quite chipper today.
- How do you feel, Mr Lawrence?
- I feel great.
Can't say I'll miss
those shots of yours.
So, when can I go home?
Tomorrow afternoon,
right after the doctor discharges you.
That nice nephew of yours
- has made all the arrangements.
- Perfect.
Oh, I'm sure you're going to
love the retirement facility.
- What?
- Rhode Island is so beautiful.
So that's what the
brochure was all about.
No way. I'm going
back to my own house.
Oh, well,
I'm certain your nephew will
explain everything to you.
Dylan, please hand me the telephone.
Hide and be safe!
Oh-ho. Not this time, cat.
Play time's over.
Damn birds.
Now, back to you! Huh, where is he?
Oh, you're not getting
away this time.
I believe Daniel has lost his mind.
This is going too far.
What should we do?
In his state, I'm afraid no one's
going to able to stop him.
We'd better stay out of sight.
Oh, you can hide.
But you won't get away.
It's futile to hide from me.
You got nowhere to go.
Come on. Come on!
No more fooling around.
You're trapped now.
They say a cat has nine lives.
Why don't we see if it's true?
Here, kitty, kitty.
Here, little kitty, kitty, kitty.
You are history.
Well, then, no more allergy.
No more sneezing.
Where'd you all come from?
My gun! Give me... No, come here.
I am gonna kick your little gear
butts like there's no tomorrow.
How many of you guys are there?
No, no, no, no. No!
Now, that is exactly
what the doctor ordered.
Let's try one more time.
- Yes?
- Daniel? What's going on?
Uncle Lawrence. No, I don't
have time to talk right now.
Why on earth are you sending
me to a retirement home?
- What's all that noise?
- I can't hear you.
Call me back in an hour,
I should be done with the house!
What's going on, Mr Lawrence?
I can't wait to be
discharged tomorrow.
There's no time to lose!
Mr Lawrence, please return
to your room at once.
Nurse Baxter, I need to
get back to my house.
- Not until the doctor says so.
- But you don't understand.
I need to go home now.
Not until you get discharged.
Mr Lawrence,
we'll get you a ride back.
What did you say?
- I know everybody around here.
- We'll help you.
What have we here? Where's the cat?
They're doing their
freeze thing again.
- That can only mean one thing.
- The cat must be a goner.
What's going on?
You need to get out of there, quick!
There's a big trouble on the way!
Oh, no! The nephew's back
with a nasty-looking machine.
The situation is getting
totally out of control.
We've got to stop him now.
No time to waste.
This house is history!
Come on!
Excuse me, but don't
you think you should...
Dylan? Izzy?
We've got it under control,
Mr Lawrence.
But you can't...
I mean, you're only...
We're almost there.
Sit back and enjoy the ride.
How does this stupid
contraption work?
- Wait, Jack, I'm not sure that's...
- We have no choice!
I'm going for it.
Oh, dear.
Come on, you stupid gears.
Why couldn't they make
these things automatic?
Oh, no! It appears I'm a bit too
stout in the girth to make it through.
Oh, I knew it. Okay,
let me see what I can do.
Suck it in, Jack.
Oh! My leg!
Sorry, Jack.
Okay. Now we're talking.
I figured that out.
No, no, no, no!
Okay. One, two...
Hold on, Jack, I'll get help.
Don't want to mess with the car.
No. No, no, no, no.
I need your help. Jack is stuck.
There's nothing you
can do for Thunder.
Just standing there
won't bring him back.
You're... You're alive.
What just happened?
Look, I'm really sorry for...
You saved me.
Is everyone safe?
No, the trap door is blocked.
Come with me and be careful.
All right! I'm starting
to get the knack of this.
Oh, no. Not that
old pain in the neck.
Daniel! What are you doing?
What does it look like I'm doing?
Come down from there right
now before someone gets hurt.
Just stay out of the way
and no one will get hurt.
You can't destroy my house.
You have no right.
- Yes, I do. Remember this?
- What? You tricked me.
Daniel, please stop it.
You can't do that to them.
I can and I want to.
No, no, no! What is up
with these stupid birds?
- Look!
- It's Thunder.
He's helping the others get out.
It's you! I thought I
took care of you already!
Dylan, Izzy, we need to back off.
He's gone totally mad.
Daniel, just stop it!
Come on. Let's go.
Thunder, wait.
We can't jump that far.
Gunther, help them get across.
Oh, but be careful!
The ball!
- I got him.
- Good catch, Dylan.
Stay here.
Is he crazy?
Don't worry, I have a plan.
I can't believe it!
I'll show you who's in charge.
Take this, if you can.
Mr Lawrence, can't you use
magic and make him stop?
My magic isn't strong
enough for this.
He's definitely going
to kill Thunder.
Twiggoo, take me down.
- Maggie!
- Oh, no!
Hang on, Maggie.
That's-a my big guy.
A mouse! Get out of here!
All right, Thunder!
Huh? Where is he?
No, no!
My car.
Shame on you! Treating defenceless
little animals like that.
Defenceless? Stop it!
I should let you sneeze to death for
the mess you've made of things.
Please, Uncle Lawrence.
Please help me.
I can't take it! I'm going
to pass out from all this.
I suppose that wouldn't
be a good thing.
We wouldn't want anything
bad to happen to you.
You've got a lot of
repair work to do.
I think it best if we get him
over to the emergency room now.
- We'll take him.
- No, no.
You two have done enough
driving for a while.
Let's call 911.
Oh. Hi, Maggie.
I just wanted to thank you
for saving me back there
and well, you know, apologise
for treating you the way I did.
I understand. You guys have
been together for a long time.
No! We... I was wrong.
But you made it right.
You helped me save the house.
We're a great team.
Huh? Oh. You're right.
It looks like we still have
some unfinished business.
Let's get them off the roof.
Aye, aye, Captain.
Hello? A bit of a hand over here
would be greatly appreciated.
It doesn't get any better than this.
Indeed, indeed.
It's great to have Lawrence back.
Hey, gato!
Word on the street is that you guys
put on one crazy good show!
Hey, I thought this
place freaked you out.
Ghosts, big-toothed were-rabbit
and an evil mouse, remember?
Well, I suppose I do get a
bit carried away sometimes,
especially when I'm excited.
Anyway, you wouldn't
by any chance have room
for someone else, namely me,
in your little act, would you?
You're a trained actor?
Am I an actor? I'm the
Marlon Brando of chihuahuas!
I can roll over, play dead,
look cool, but I don't fetch.
I ain't no retriever.
So what do ya say?
I can fit in, do what you want.
I can play whatever you need,
I'm the man.
Hey, guys! We're on next! Come on!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on, man.
So, then, I take that as a yes?
Let's give a big round of applause
to Jack, Maggie and Thunder!
Oh! You must be the
real estate agent.
Sorry I'm a bit late.
Quite the quaint abode you have.
Yes, but now that I'm alone,
this place is just too big for me.
I'm going to a nice retirement home.
So, how much cash you think
I could get for the place?
Let's have a look inside and
I'll give you my best estimate.
Oh, no.
That's it. I need to find
another line of work!