The Humbling (2014) Movie Script

Ten minutes to curtain. Ten minutes.
All the world...
all the world is a stage.
And all the men and women...
merely players.
They have exits.
And they have their entrances.
And they have their exits.
And they have their entrances.
And one man in his time
plays many parts.
His acts being seven ages.
Do you believe that?
Was that real for you?
No, be honest.
Was it honest?
Yes, it was, wasn't it?
No, it wasn't.
It wasn't honest?
Well, what was it then?
No, not very good, no.
I don't believe it.
Should I try it again?
The world is a stage
and all men and women merely players.
How about that? Any better?
They have their exits
and their entrances.
Were you affecting it
or were you really saying it?
And one, a man in his life
plays many parts.
Did that mean anything to you or anyone
that ever existed in the world?
Are you fooling yourself?
Were you not committing
to your own instincts?
What are you supposed to do?
Jump up and down?
You know, do a jig?
Just say your words.
Shakespeare will do the rest.
- You know that.
- Five minutes.
Five minutes. Five minutes.
My face of masks.
My tragedy and my comedy.
Let's put these together tonight, buddy.
I love you both.
Seven ages.
There are seven ages.
his acts being seven ages.
Then the... the whining school boy.
And the whining...
Sighing like an, oh, sighing...
like a furnace.
What is a man? No, that's Hamlet.
Oh, no.
- Open! Oh!
- Yeah?
Thank God.
I just was... I was just in here.
- I was... I got locked out.
- I didn't see you come out.
- I'm Simon Axler.
- No, you're not.
I'm Simon Axler.
- I have the dressing room upstairs.
- Do you need a dollar or something?
I'm in the play!
- I got to be on stage.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- You got to let me through.
- No, no, no.
I'm in there.
I'm supposed to be on stage.
The play has already started.
You're going to have to...
- I'm in the play!
- Keep your voice down.
I'm Simon Axler. I'm on the marquee.
I'm in the lobby. The picture...
like this. Dressed like this.
I'm in the show.
Why would I be dressed like this?
- Please.
- No, no, no. Outside.
I'm Simon Axler. I'm Simon Axler.
I'm in the play.
All men... all men...
And all women... are players.
All men... they're... they are players.
They... they... they have...
I'm Simon Axler. I'm on the marquee.
I play the lead.
I'm Simon Axler. I'm Simon Axler.
Three minutes.
Did I miss my cue?
I missed my cue.
There is not one so young
and so villainous this day living.
I am heartily glad I came hither to you.
I'll give him his payment.
God take your worship.
- 30 seconds.
- I hope I shall see an end of him.
For my soul, yet I know not why,
hates nothing more...
The last scene of all...
that ends this...
strange eventful history...
second childishness...
and mere...
sans teeth...
sans eyes...
sans everything.
The famous pianist, sometimes actor,
and brilliant raconteur
Oscar Levant once said,
"There is a thin line
between genius and insanity."
And he had erased that line.
In a few minutes,
we'll get you something for the pain.
Did you believe that,
that moan I just did,
about my pain? Did you believe that?
I did.
I didn't. Can I try that again?
I think it can be a little more subtle.
No, that's too much.
I can bring it down a little bit.
As an actor...
I've come the realization that...
I'm having trouble separating
a scene from a play
with the realities in real life.
I was out one day. I was out, I think.
Did you believe that, what I just did?
What I just said?
I thought I did that one.
Let me say it as clearly as possible.
I will never go on stage again.
I love this house.
14 years, it...
looks like you haven't moved in.
Oh, you...
you'll get some rest.
Please don't say that.
I don't sleep. You know that.
I don't sleep.
So you don't have to say,
"Get some sleep."
you know...
you'll call me...
if you... if you get any bad ideas.
Well, when I got home
after the accident,
at the theater, I never...
I couldn't remember what happened.
Then I realized that
16 days had gone by.
I don't recollect anything
that happened in those days.
And did that scare you?
No, it didn't.
At the time, but now,
I don't know when I think about it.
It's concerning.
You know, I didn't have friends, really.
I didn't have people I could...
I could talk to.
No family, of course.
Maybe... I don't know how that happened.
No children.
No wife.
I always wondered why I had a shotgun.
And it that moment, I realized it.
It was because of Hemingway.
Hemingway blew his
brain's out with a shotgun.
That had to be the only reason I had it.
Because I'm not a gun person.
Hemingway must have had longer arms.
Jerry. Sorry to call you this late.
It's Simon.
I think I'm in some kind of trouble.
And that's how we met.
We're going to keep you pretty
busy here over the next 30 days.
I like busy.
Do I have a room?
- Yes, you've got a nice room.
- Is it a single room? Am I alone?
- It will be a double room for the first week.
- A double room? Oh, I don't know about that.
But look, I'm famous, you know?
And I'm sorry, I know,
maybe you don't know who I am,
but I'm famous. And I...
You got to not do that, doc,
because that just is upsetting to me.
- Not do what?
- Write when I talk.
It's like, you're doing a play,
and all of a sudden the audience
is writing in the program.
That's why I hate opening nights
because the fucking critics go in there,
and they're writing,
they're writing in their pads,
- and writing everywhere and you see them.
- You don't like it when people write things?
Yeah, well, it bothers me.
Hello, Oliver.
- How are you doing?
- What are you doing?
- Oh, these will help you sleep.
- No, no, that doesn't work.
No, trust me. These are different.
Acting is what I do.
It always came easy to me.
I never had a problem with it.
You know, it was just like...
They say, "To the men are born."
I was born with it. I love the stage.
I love being on the stage.
I was always, like, myself.
You know, and I was very...
natural, you know.
It was like home, being on the stage.
The fall was a gradual one.
I think it really started
when I lost track of...
what I... what I would
call my... my craft.
There are a lot of things, you know,
you can deal with, but your craft,
I mean, it's sort of like a musician
losing his ability to...
to play the keys.
I know it's happened to great
musicians before, but...
how about losing your ear?
And I don't mean like Beethoven,
I mean, like...
that's what I felt about losing...
my... my gift...
my talent.
It just started to recede.
Mainly the desire, I think.
The appetite to do it started to...
fade, or... I don't know.
I lost track of it.
Anyway, you know, you...
you're not prepared for that
kind of thing. It sort of...
the writing's on the wall
for other things,
like you're going to lose your friends.
You know, what do they
say about athletes?
First their legs go,
their knees, then their money goes,
then their friends go.
So, you know that stuff, but...
the inability to...
remember words...
How did that happen?
I mean, I actually would be in a play,
just the other day...
and I...
I would be saying lines
from a play I did ten years ago,
which was a totally different play.
And of course,
that's really unsettling.
The audiences start to... to...
I'm not alone here.
You're listening to what I'm saying.
Does this interest you in any way?
So I can go on? I feel like I'm...
hogging everything here.
I don't know what else I can say
except that it got really bad,
worse and worse.
When... when the audiences started...
When the audiences started to, you know,
recede and not want to...
participate with me... anymore.
Sensing what was happening...
it was just too much to take. I...
I just didn't...
I lost something that I had all my life.
It was gone.
Like, just gone, like magic.
And I...
I couldn't have even conceived of
something like that happening, so...
what to do? What to do?
Would you mind cleaning the tables?
Yes. Okay.
First, leave me my drink.
What is wrong with you?
This is no good, you see.
Excuse me sir,
we're doing a survey on reactions.
- Would you like to take part?
- Yeah, sure.
Thank you. That's two points.
Have you ever done
anything like this before?
- No, never.
- Thank you very much.
Do you like it?
That's another two points.
Simon, would you be free
later today for a chat?
Oh, I have other plans.
You know, I might be able
to fit you in next Thursday.
I was just joking.
I was only joking. Of course I'll
be able to have a chat with you.
That was so convincing.
I was the perfect wife
for the perfect 20th century,
East Coast, Ivy-league educated,
well-respected, wealthy husband.
Our house was just outside the city.
And it was the perfect place for us
to celebrate our perfect lives.
And we have two...
perfect children.
We have a five-year-old boy
and a seven-year-old girl
to fit into our perfect lives.
Then one afternoon,
I went into the city to do some shopping
and halfway there I realized
that I had left my wallet
back at the house,
and so I drove back home.
I could only see the top
of my little girl's head
from the back of the sofa
and the TV was on
and the Saturday cartoons were playing,
but that's what she would have been
watching under any circumstances.
- I'm sorry, are you following me?
- Oh, yeah. Sure.
So everything was in order
except I had to wonder why
the little cotton underpants
were lying on the arm of the couch.
Now you probably see
where I'm going with this, but...
when I got to the back of the couch
and I looked over,
I was... I was not prepared to see my
rich and powerful husband's head
out of sight and under
my little girl's skirt.
You know, it's a terrible
thing to say, I know,
but while she's talking,
all I'm thinking about is
maybe this is some kind
of test, you know,
like they're testing me
to see if I buy this stuff.
Is this going to make me better?
I mean, is this part of the therapy?
You know...
the sick talking to the sicker.
And I made some kind of noise,
and my husband's head appeared from...
from... from where it had been,
and... and he looked at me, and he says,
"Oh, hi.
Aren't you off to the city?"
And I stood there frozen,
my heart turning over,
and my throat burning...
and I had nothing to say.
There she is pouring her heart out
and all I can do is think about
how she's doing it.
I mean, how she's performing it.
I don't know, I would have...
I would have...
been a little bit more
emotional at this point,
I had to remove myself.
You know what I'm saying?
And I'm...
watching her like I'm watching
a Tennessee Williams play.
I need someone to kill my husband.
Did you ask if she was ever
under psychiatric care before?
- No.
- Weren't you curious?
Well, to be honest,
it never entered my mind.
I'm sure you can find... you'll be
able to find somebody that can do that.
Well, you.
If I was a killer,
I would tell you this.
I'd do it pro bono.
I'd do it, but, you know,
I'm an out-of-work actor.
I'd botch the job, I'm sure.
So, you know...
Are you serious? Are you serious?
Yeah. I mean,
of course I'm willing to pay.
Oh, no. Sybil, Sybil, listen.
When you do a play,
do you ever ask about
the character's background, past?
- Of course, yeah.
- But not in real life?
I saw you in that film about the man
who slaughters all his neighbors.
Yeah, murders the neighbor next door.
Yeah. You were so convincing.
That was a fiction, Sybil. Fiction.
You can't just go around asking people
if they'd kill your husband for you.
It's not done.
It's socially...
socially awkward.
- You know?
- But you're not.
You're not people, Simon.
- What?
- You're my friend.
Yum, yum, yummy.
I lost my talent for no good reason
and now just as arbitrarily,
I'm losing the desire to kill myself.
Or it's... I mean, I lost it.
The most important thing is you're
leaving here a stronger man.
And remember, we'll continue
our private sessions on Skype.
Oh, yeah, Skype.
I got that in my head, you know.
- Yeah. Good.
- All the instructions in my head.
Well, you know, my big worry is that
every time I see a camera,
I sort of, you know,
I feel the need to perform.
- It's a habit.
- Don't expect any applause. It's just us.
- Hi.
- Hi. May I help you?
You don't remember me?
Oh, man, you're kidding.
Little Pegeen.
How are you? Come on in. Wow.
It's a delivery from my parents.
Oh, gee, thanks. Wow.
God. I still have this image of you
sucking at your mother's breast.
Pure class.
You know, when I was, like,
8 and you were, like, 40,
I had a massive crush on you?
- You did? Whoa.
- Big time.
- Look at you now.
- Yeah.
Do I have something on my face
or do you always space out
in the direction of people
you haven't seen in a while?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I was staring, wasn't I?
I was a little lost. I'm sorry.
Simon Axler, whose presence in a room
is as dazzling as his presence on stage.
Simon Axler,
with the charisma that kills.
What happened? Did you get shot?
What brings you here?
I live near you now.
I teach at Westcott.
You teach? At Westcott Women's College?
- Yeah.
- There.
Theater, acting, scenic design.
- Family trade.
- Precisely.
You know, your mother and I co-starred
when she played Pegeen Mike
- at the Bramford Theater.
- Yes, I know.
I've heard all of the stories.
Old theater friends. Long before my time.
Do you remember
the last time you saw me?
- You must have been 10, 11 years old.
- You remember what you gave me?
I gave you the wedding ring
I wore in Streetcar.
I slept with that wedding ring
under my pillow for...
I thought that it meant
that you would marry me.
But then a couple of decades
went by and you never showed up.
Well, you all moved 3,000
miles away, you know.
So, tell me, how are you parents doing?
I don't know.
I mostly try to avoid them.
They don't approve
of who I'm living with.
Oh, yeah?
Who is he? What is he?
It's a she.
She? Whoa.
Well, that's okay.
I got to take this shit. Sorry.
Oh, hi, yeah. No, I just...
I stopped by his house and we talked.
Yes, we're talking. We're talking.
No, I just got back. It's a nice house.
It's a really nice house. Yeah.
Because basically it's none of
your goddamn business, okay?
Okay, I'll talk to you
when I talk to you.
I'll talk to you when I
talk to you. Okay, bye.
Oh, God.
Everything all right?
Yeah, it's just someone's freaking out
about casting for Tuesday.
- This is Sunday.
- I know. They were just being annoying.
- Yeah.
- Oh, you know, maybe you could help.
We're doing a contemporary
adaptation of Macbeth
- and I cannot think of another actor...
- No.
I'd like to try it out on more than you.
- Not a good idea.
- Why not?
I get anxious.
And here I was thinking you were
getting back your killer charisma.
- Oh, no.
- This is all very unlike you.
- It is?
- Yeah.
You know what's like me?
Yeah, I'm starting to figure it out.
We should get this to
run all over the house.
Want to stay for dinner?
- Yeah, okay.
- Good.
Oh, no.
- It's okay.
- Oh, the waiter in me.
- Have some.
- Wow.
We're brilliant engineers
and we didn't even have
to employ... abused labor.
So, what happened with your acting?
I don't know.
Just it's just too tedious to discuss.
Well, did something happen
or did you retire?
Would you...
please don't ask me about that.
You know, I've been really...
spending, like, 30 days
talking about nothing else, so...
- Okay, well...
- ...if we could just, you know.
What do you want to talk about?
Well, there's the...
the signing of...
- I thought you slept with women.
- I do.
What do you think of her?
Well, she's my friend's daughter.
And she's a lesbian.
You never been with a man?
Not in 16 years.
Oh, well...
I haven't been with
a lesbian in 67 years.
That you know of.
Flirtatious lesbian, I might add.
However that's possible.
I don't know what to say.
You're a... you're with a woman now?
Yeah. Kind... Yeah, pretty much.
Why do you... why do you say that?
Well, she's a lesbian
and she's flirting with me.
Doesn't bother you, the age difference?
I have been thinking
about you inappropriately
since it was really inappropriate.
Well, you're the psychiatrist.
How does that track with you?
But who is this who lies so very awake?
It was thus when I awoke.
So, what shall we do with it, my lord?
For now I would say...
let it be.
Enjoy what time it has left.
Or perhaps...
we could...
just talk gentle to it
maybe just keep it
warm and safe.
Be forewarned, Mr. Famous.
Pegeen is desirable,
she's audacious,
and she's utterly ruthless.
Utterly cold-hearted, incomparably
selfish, and completely amoral.
Hi. I understand Louise has been
calling you and I have to apologize.
Louise Trenner,
the dean of Westcott College.
Oh, so that's what those
cryptic cell calls were about.
Little creepy hang-ups coming
in the middle of the night
waking me out of my deep slumber.
- Hello?
- She will drain you.
- She will diminish your mental capacity to think.
- Who is this? Who is this?
She will render you useless
and you will suffer.
- Pegeen told me where you live.
- Is this Louise?
- You stay away from her.
- Louise?
- Yes.
- I know she's there.
Why won't you put her on the phone?
Put her on the phone right now.
- Hello? Hello?
- Where is she? I just want to see her.
- Louise, just...
- I just... I just need to see her.
- What are...
- I just... just need to talk to her.
- I just need to look into her eyes...
- What are you doing?
...and just ask her why.
Just ask her why.
Are you alone?
Oh, God. Oh.
- Are you alone?
- I'm sorry. I'm alone.
Okay. Miss...
- Miss Trenner, I presume?
- Yes. And you...
You're older than I thought.
- What do you think you're doing here?
- I know. I'm trespassing.
Could you lower your gun, please?
You're making me very nervous.
You're making me very nervous.
You're peeping into my house.
I just wanted to see where
she was going every weekend.
she told me she'd be with me forever
and then three weeks later she was gone.
I don't know why she left you for me.
- Don't you?
- No, I don't.
You're beautiful. You're gorgeous.
You're a valkyrie.
What am I? I'm an old man.
Good. Why don't you come
inside for a minute?
Why? So you could seduce me, too?
Is that your specialty, Mr. Axler,
converting lesbians?
Madam, it is not I who is trespassing.
It is not I who is a Peeping Tom.
It is not I who is making anonymous
phone calls in the middle of the night
- asking for a "Mr. Famous."
- Oh, God.
- Is she worth all this?
- No. She's not even that beautiful.
- She's not that intelligent.
- Okay.
She's unusually childish for her age.
She's just a kid, really.
So, why don't you come inside?
Why do you want me to step inside?
Because of the triumph it would
be to sleep with the woman
that Pegeen used to sleep with?
- Because I'm being polite.
- No.
- Because it's cold out and you...
- You want to fuck me.
You think you're safe, but you're not.
When she's through playing
with you, she's going to...
take you apart like a
cheap Christmas toy.
I was up for the position at Westcott
and Louise wouldn't give me the job,
so I met with her and then
I turned on all the charm.
I was desperate. I had to.
She wasn't going to give you the job?
- No, that's what I just said.
- I know, but why?
Had she seen you before?
Was it something about...
It was possible that I might not
have been the strongest candidate
that they were looking at,
but I had other things to offer,
which I let her know, wink wink.
She just wasn't going to give it to me.
I wasn't their top candidate.
Well, how did... how did she know that?
I had heard it through
the academic grapevine.
It's academia, it's not the NSA.
- Why are you so obsessed with this, Simon?
- I just want to know. I just want to know.
Are you sure you don't like
me in my present uniform?
Let me just get this.
Why don't you go inside?
I'll meet you there.
Yeah. Jerry.
Hi, what are you doing?
No, no, no, no. No more acting.
No acting. No, no.
No acting. I just...
Why don't you get me a deal
writing my memoirs?
Well, isn't that what
washed-up actors do?
Why did you take her shopping?
I don't know.
Did you want her to become a woman
or just to look like one?
I mean, you know,
when you're enacting a role,
usually you dress accordingly.
Otherwise you confuse the audience.
Is that what she wanted?
I don't know. It's the way I saw it.
You've slept with her at this point.
I think so.
I don't know.
- Well...
- I like it.
Well, I guess this officially marks
the end of my 16-year mistake.
Did she actually say "16-year mistake"?
I don't know. I'm not sure. I mean...
Or is that what you wanted to hear?
Well, I don't know. I'm not sure.
I mean, there's a lot of things she says
I'm not sure I'm hearing
what she's saying
or what I'm making up that she says.
I mean, I don't know.
Half the ti...
I don't know how she thinks.
I don't know what's on her mind.
She seems so detached.
She seems so removed. And yet...
when I'm with her,
there's a feeling I have.
- Yeah.
- It's nice?
You look a little bit like you're
still on the hanger.
I think that works though
because you can...
I feel like a matador.
What... what's it matter?
I mean, three quarters of the things
we do in life are mistakes.
I mean, you know, my being an actor,
that's a fucking mistake.
Could be. I mean, you get all
the awards, the accolades,
the special treatment,
all that stuff, the adulation,
and what do you wind up doing?
Throwing yourself off a stage.
Now, come on. While trying to pull
some Hemingway-esque suicide.
I mean, you know,
the other day I'm watching television
and this commercial comes on,
and they're promoting Hemingway furniture.
I mean, here's a guy,
blew the top of his head off
because he couldn't take life anymore
and now you can get a
Hemingway bedroom set.
I don't know why it makes me laugh.
You know? He wrote books, by the way.
I know you know that, but I'm saying.
She seemed pleasant.
The woman's that been here
from time to time.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
There's been someone here, hasn't there?
There's been somebody here.
Yeah, I have someone that comes in.
She comes in now and then,
you know, helps me.
With my...
- recuperation.
- Yeah.
- Is she a massage therapist?
- Oh, no, no. No.
She just, you know, has... Sometimes I
could stretch it for her, you know, she...
It's okay, though. It's fine.
Yeah. And she only just
comes here now and then.
It's not my business.
It's not my business.
No, no. I don't... No... it's...
it's fair to ask something like that.
I don't want to interfere.
She seems very pleasant.
Why? You... you've been talking to her?
No, I just saw her.
- You just exchanged hellos and stuff?
- Yeah.
Nothing more than that. I mean,
you didn't ask her any questions?
- No.
- Just... just for my own...
- Well, I wouldn't say anything.
- Yeah, because... well, we like to keep it...
like we always keep it.
You mean me and you
or her and me and you?
- I really don't understand.
- I... I don't know, you said, "we".
No, I meant in the...
you know, in the sort of...
- In a general...
- In the general way.
Well, you should have someone
nice coming to take care of you...
at your age.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Okay. Okay.
I don't have Alzheimer's.
I'm not demen... it's not dementia.
It's something else.
It's this inertia
when it comes to the...
We used to call it "the work".
You see, so the abandonment is...
is so severe and it causes such pain
because... or it causes confusion,
fear as I don't know where to go.
Dear Simon, how are you? You look well.
I need to see you again.
You're my only friend.
Yours and hugs, Sybil Van Buren.
Hey. Look what I found.
The Seagull starring Simon Axler.
Bootleg copy live from The Globe.
Can we watch it, please?
I found this woman and somehow
there's an appetite.
I know it's...
it looks like it's tentative,
It looks like it's going
to slip away from me,
but at the same time, so what?
I don't know what's right for me.
I don't know what's wrong for me.
I have no idea, nor does anyone,
really, when it comes down to it.
But I like that line from Shakespeare,
- you know, "Perdition catch my soul."
- "Perdition catch my soul."
- "But I do love thee."
- "But I do love thee."
when I love thee not...
chaos is come again.
Okay, I'm going to take that as a "no."
- Hi.
- Are you surprised?
That you're suddenly here in my woods,
on my property?
I'm surprised. Yeah.
I would rather speak privately.
Do you know of someplace
quiet that we could go?
Quieter than the woods? I mean...
The monster is all alone with them.
That's terrible.
Have you... have you given
any more thought to my offer?
No, I haven't.
- Not at all?
- No. I haven't.
Oh, gee. What is that?
So, Edgar goes for a walk
in these gardens every night.
- Yeah.
- Okay, now, look... look, look, look
- how simple it would be to climb...
- No.
Simon, please.
Why are you doing this to me?
Because you're the only
person that I trust.
Trust? You don't know me.
- I don't know you. I just met...
- I know you.
You're asking me to do... such a thing.
- You understand?
- Yes.
Why would you ask me to do such a thing?
Because you have experience, Simon.
- What are you talking about?
- In the movies.
I know, but the movies,
they're not real.
So that's not real experience.
Okay, but you've held a real gun
and you've had training.
Not with real bullets.
Everything I do in the movies,
any actor does, is fake.
- You understand? It's not real.
- Yes. But...
- No, it's pretend.
- But...
It's pretend.
But pretend that your acting background
will help when it comes time
to talk to the police.
- This is ridiculous. Ridiculous, ridiculous.
- Do not call me "ridiculous."
- I'm not calling you...
- I am not ridiculous.
I'm saying this is ridiculous.
I am ridiculous.
I've been called ridiculous
by my husband, by my family,
by my friends, by lawyers, and doctors,
- and everyone else but you.
- Well, I'm ridiculous, too.
Simon, I just need your help.
I can't. I'm sorry, I just...
- I'm begging you.
- I know, darling, but I can't do it.
You're going to have to go elsewhere.
Please. So, I have to go back anyway.
- I got things I have to do.
- Back where?
- Well, I got to go back to...
- Where are you going?
To my house and you go to
your house, wherever that is.
I don't know where your house is.
- I have no idea where you live.
- Do you want to come over?
- No, I don't want to go to your house.
- Wait...
You have to go elsewhere, you know.
I can't... I can't help you. I'm sorry.
You're b... you're busy.
You sound busy, so we'll...
- We'll do this later.
- No, it's not about being busy.
- Right.
- Go... go... come...
you know, maybe another time.
- Later on, someday.
- Pick it up. Right.
Someday, long time from now.
- Thursday.
- Maybe...
- Like Thursday?
- No, not Thursday. No!
- Another time. That's not Thursday.
- What?
- Thursday's now. I mean later.
- Simon, you're yelling. I can't hear you.
- Next century.
- What?
As time went on, I became more
and more dependent on her.
Always waiting for the sound of
that car on that gravel driveway.
- Hello.
- Oh. Hey.
Oh. Look at this.
- This is Emily.
- Aw, Emily.
Hey, beauty.
- Here, let me take that.
- Thank you.
Oh. Oh, my God. Are you hurt?
Are you okay?
Yeah. Gee! I got this.
Oh, no. Look at what happened to him.
What's in here?
Just some of my things, isn't it, baby?
Some of my things.
You know... I was thinking...
Don't you think it's time...
you told your parents about us?
Oh, no, no, no.
My mother can never know about...
- What?
- Anything.
Why? What do you mean?
Even if the two of you hadn't had a
thing for each other back in the day...
What thing? Wait, wait, wait.
Wait a minute.
I'm just saying I could never...
I could not possibly tell her or him.
Oh, God, think of the look on
Asa's face. That would be terrible.
It'd just be way too painful, wouldn't it?
Oh, you want to go?
- Let's get settled in.
- Yeah. I can't...
- Thank you so much for trying to help.
- Thank you.
I'll be okay.
Oh, yes.
I've come to serve you.
- Is your back still hurting?
- No, dear. No.
It's going to pass.
This is how you played Richard III?
No, this was Igor
in Old Frankenstein.
Well, it's very convincing.
Well, I got this far.
It's just getting it down
that I have to deal with. Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
We have arrived.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
I'm not going to make it to the bed.
That's fine.
So this will be an all-nighter...
of watching.
And I'm going to read out loud to you
from the medieval miracle plays.
I'm in the middle of Abraham and Isaac.
Abraham's just told Isaac
that God told him to kill Isaac
and Isaac, weirdly,
is telling him that it's okay.
And he's saying,
"Ye have other children, one or two,
"which ye should love well by kind,
I pray you, father, make ye no woe."
- Hello, Mrs. Rutledge.
- Good morning, dear.
You saw a man by the water?
Simon, you seem to have a lot of
people showing up on your property.
There's a guy wandering
around my property.
See? See there?
- You see him? Oh, my.
- Maybe it's a gardener.
A gardener? No. He's a black man.
You wouldn't hire a black gardener?
Of course I would,
but I don't have a black gardener.
That's racist.
- A little racist. Just saying.
- Racist?
Oh, so Pegeen was also there.
Yes, she was there.
I didn't mention that,
but we went down to the little bridge,
that small little bridge by the river.
Oh, my God.
- Priscilla?
- Hey.
Priscilla? I thought you said
it was a man by the water.
Jesus. I can't even
look at you like this.
I needed to see for myself.
I needed to be sure.
- Sure of what?
- That you were sleeping with a man.
Oh, my God.
Am I missing something here?
Am I missing something? Are you
leaving something out of this story?
No, well, I mean,
they were talking about...
they were talking about health insurance
and that kind of stuff. Healthcare.
Also, how expensive the surgery was.
Are you all healed?
For the most part. I go by Prince now.
Prince? You got to be joking.
They were living, I mean, I think they...
they were dating for something
like six years. And at that time,
she was Priscilla.
And what happened then?
Well, come inside.
Simon, put the gun down.
- What is this?
- He's my ex-girlfriend.
How's Em... how's Emily?
- She's good. She misses Amy.
- I miss her.
Who's Amy?
Our other cat.
We had to separate them when I left.
Poor things.
Who sat with you during the surgery?
No one.
I wish I could say I felt sorry for you.
I'm not asking for your pity.
It was something I had to do on my own.
Not to say it wasn't lonely without you.
Still is.
What are you suggesting?
I miss you.
- And?
- And...
I thought now that you're
sleeping with men...
why not me?
- I want you back.
- No, no. It's out of the question.
You just left so abruptly
after you found the pills
and looked them up.
I can't believe that you
actually went through with it.
I can't even think
about it without cringing.
Breast removal? And not to mention...
I can't even think about it.
I just cringe.
You mutilated the body I loved.
You destroyed the woman I loved.
Pegeen, please. Try to understand
from my point of view.
Whose point of view?
Prince's? I don't know you.
I don't know Prince.
The woman I was with doesn't exist.
Do you regret having invited him in?
You know something?
I don't know what's worse.
When I was here alone in my house,
I was so desperate, you know. And now...
I have these lunatics
showing up at my front door.
I think they know I'm here.
They smell me.
Open up.
- Lower the window. Jesus.
- Oh, it's true.
- I've come to collect my daughter.
- Collect?
- Get out of the car now.
- No!
Get out of the car.
You're coming with me now.
- Stop it!
- Excuse me.
No! Pegeen.
Emily! Oh, my God!
- Emily!
- Who's Emily?
Oh, Emily.
Look what you've done.
You sad, pathetic, little old man.
What a mess you've done.
- How did you find out?
- How did we find out?
I got a call from Louise Trenner.
She began by saying she
was opportunistically
exploited and deceived by you.
- Is that true, dear?
- We have to go to the vet now!
Just imagine what it was
like to get a call like that.
I have absolutely no idea
what's going on in your life.
When did you break up with Priscilla?
When Priscilla decided that she wanted
to become a man, Mother, okay?
And you don't think that that was news
you want to share with your own parents?
What else have you been keeping from us?
Look, let's just get in.
What... is she all right?
Simon, you do not have a family.
You don't know what it's like to find out
who's sleeping with your daughter.
- Your daughter is a grown-up.
- Yeah, and you're ancient.
How could you. Your own goddaughter?
I mean, I know you've
been having mental issues,
- but this is beyond insane.
- Get in the car, honey.
What does he have to offer you?
Is it money?
Oh, my baby. Oh, sweet baby.
You know, you look just so...
- beautiful and so...
- You mean feminine?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Hi.
- Hi. Oh, hi.
Her leg got run over by a car.
- Okay, let's take her in the back.
- Okay. Okay. Great. Thank you.
Oh, God. Not again. Oh, my God.
I'm afraid you're all going
to have to wait out here.
Do you have anything that you could
give him? Like painkillers or something?
- No.
- He's a person.
No, like what you'd give a dog,
but just for him.
Like ten times more or something?
I don't think we should tell
anybody about this, Mr. Axler.
And the muscle relaxers
start to kick in rather quickly.
Oh, yeah. A little discretion...
will be much appreciated.
I think you're making a mistake.
You've been through a breakdown
that led you to being institutionalized.
Now, I know that she's had these
fantasies about you since childhood.
I know she glorified you and she...
cried about you and she...
she dreamt about you, and she loved you.
And she's built up these fantasies.
How would you know?
What did he say?
- How...
- What?
How would you know?
How would you know? How would you know?
How do you know what he's saying?
How would I know what?
About my own daughter?
Because I'm her mother,
that's how I know.
That's how I know! It's how I know!
You're getting older by the day.
- Oh, really?
- You're 65 now.
And soon, you'll be 66.
And then, 67.
And so on.
It never stops.
And it won't be long before they're just
wheeling you around in a chair.
Well, if I had...
I have no idea what he's saying.
- If I had a child...
- What are you... what is he saying?
- What is he saying?
- What...
Simon, do you hear her?
I know you hear her.
- Yeah.
- And this is serious.
What is he saying?
You will stop...
seeing our daughter.
- Yes.
- As of tonight!
- Yes.
- I never said I would not ever...
No. Simon. Simon, listen. Simon.
It's not going to be good for you.
Simon, it's not going to turn out well.
And it's not going to
turn out well for her.
You have to stop.
Pegeen started talking to
her mother more and more.
Click. Click the pen.
No, everything's fine with my classes.
I don't know why she would take these
Simon-bashing calls under my own roof.
Okay. Anyway, well, love you, too.
Talk to you later, Mom. Bye.
So, what did your mother have to say?
The usual. She thinks I'm starstruck.
Oh, but she couldn't stop talking about
how pathetic you were at the vet.
It's really her favorite topic now.
She keeps using the word "feeble."
And then, she says, "He's a shell
of a man. A shell of a man."
It's really great. It's like a
whole new routine she's got.
I wish I was there.
So, why'd you go upstairs?
I was just looking around upstairs
when she called.
- Looking around?
- Yeah.
It's great. It's so big up here.
Why don't you ever use it?
I don't know. Just... I'm not ready.
What do you mean you're not ready?
You've lived here for 14 years.
Yeah, but I like it down here.
I like it. This is like an apartment.
You know, like a New York apartment.
It's like an apartment with a pool.
Well, nothing... nothing's perfect.
So, tell me about your mom.
I think it gives her something
to live for. Her hating you...
Do you have any idea why she cares
so much about what her parents think?
A lot of animosity?
- No, but why does this upset you?
- Well, because it's upsetting.
I mean, here she is... she's... she's...
Shouldn't they be happy that she's getting
someone who's achieved something in life?
Who's done things, who's lived,
who can offer her something?
I mean, after all,
she's not getting any younger.
And why does she act like this?
You know, Pegeen and her transformation
is like this orgy of spending
and spoiling.
And I'm out of money.
I'm just... I'm just, you know.
Simon, there's desperation
in your voice.
Well, I'm out of money,
I can't act anymore,
and what am I going to do?
How am I going to keep her?
You shouldn't have to
buy Pegeen's affection.
What if I do?
So I talked to your accountant.
You're spending way too much
money on women's clothing.
Way too much money on women's clothing.
Do you have any idea what it costs
to heat a pool in Connecticut
in the dead of winter? And on top of that,
you're giving her spending money.
I know I'm spending too much money.
What about the book deal?
There's not that much interest.
There won't be enough advanced dollars.
Oh. That's kind of depressing.
Not that much interest in my life.
Well, you're the one
who lost interest first.
Maybe some commercials?
we'll talk again.
Do you ever come out?
You should come in.
I don't know, you know.
I don't think I'm dressed for it.
Yeah, but... guess what?
You don't even have to be afraid
to swim because I'm a lifeguard.
Certified. I could save your life.
You already have.
You already have.
Who is it? Who is it?
It's your agent!
Look, Simon, be happy.
Your fan mail has really picked up.
- Really?
- Yeah, I mean...
I mean, they're all from the same woman,
this Sybil Van Buren woman, but still...
They're going to offer you $150,000
to be the spokesperson.
- You'll travel to Europe...
- Spokesperson? For what?
For a new specialized technique.
- It's called a "hair-ation."
- Hair-ation?
It's a special technique
developed by a Dr. Kingsley...
- For?
- ...for everything in the general...
hair area.
- So, a hair loss product.
- Well, if you put it like that...
- Have you lost your mind completely?
- $150,000.
I don't care how much.
What does it matter?
What about my dignity?
I mean, what little of it I have left.
Do something real then.
Take the role on Broadway.
- What role?
- The King Lear role on Broadway.
- King Lear?
- I've told you before.
- I'm telling you again. The King Lear...
- You're telling me again?
- Yes. Yes.
- This is the first time I'm hearing it.
No, it's... no, well, King Lear...
They want you for King Lear on Broadway.
Oh, they want me.
I mean, you love tragedy.
How many times? What do I have to do?
Do you want me to say it out loud?
There's a buzz about you.
They want to see you.
They want to see if you'll jump again.
You know, like Spiderman.
People just went to see...
Where they're flying around
on all those cables...
- if somebody would fall.
- Sort of like the circus.
You've got to do something.
You have no money.
I've become a freak.
- They're coming to see the freak.
- You got to...
Get me a commercial that has hair in it.
My hair.
- Yeah. Yeah. Almost.
- Okay.
- No cigar.
- Right.
All right. Let me try one more time.
You know, I don't think you should.
I think you should really just rest it.
Maybe we try it on the side.
- Let's just...
- Okay. Okay. All right.
- Oh, Jesus!
- Oh, oh, oh no.
Oh, gosh. Oh, no.
Oh, this can't...
this can't be happening.
Well, it is.
Just give it a day or so, you know.
- This thing has to loosen up, that's all.
- Sure. Sure. Of course.
You know, because...
sometimes it takes three days,
so I got one more day left.
You know, I just got to get...
I got to get into the
exercise part of it, you know?
Get into a routine
and just do it every day.
- Lie there, you know.
- Yeah.
Go through the stretches.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.
You know that... that...
horse tranquilizer that the vet gave me?
I mean, that... that was pretty good.
- Yeah, it was so good.
- Yeah, it turned out okay that night.
Anything I can do to help here?
I don't think you fucked
the lesbian out of me yet.
Are you still sleeping
with women, Pegeen?
- Just twice.
- Twice?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- With Louise?
- Yeah. No. No. Don't be crazy.
Well, with whom then?
Just a couple of softball girls I found.
This isn't a love story.
This is an object of my affection, okay?
A fucking cliche is what it is.
That's what I've become.
I'm a love cliche.
She's a young woman.
That whole thing, you know.
At least she's a lesbian.
I wasn't that stupid.
I picked the right one though, didn't I?
I mean, this one's bound to leave me.
Bound to leave me, but you know...
I do deserve it.
Everything I get, I deserve.
And you know what?
I go into it with that open mind.
Because fuck it. Give it to me.
Give me all you got.
I'll take it. I wish for it.
I glory in it.
Pegeen turned her last
girlfriend into a man.
She turned me into a half-crazed beggar.
Who knows what she's turned you into.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Jerry, it's me.
- I'll do it.
- Really? That's fantastic, Simon.
I'll call the Broadway producers
first thing in the morning.
Ever since that swan
dive into the orchestra,
- they've been dying for you to come back.
- No, not King Lear.
The... the other one.
Yeah, don't sound
too enthusiastic, please.
- No, I am. The hair product.
- Yeah, right.
No, that's a good choice, too,
As long as you're back out there, right?
Yes. Yeah.
Dr. Farr, you're not
going to believe this.
- Sybil showed up again.
- What do you mean she showed up?
She showed up.
I'm on my way to the commercial,
she's there, she's in
my driveway in the snow.
She's just, she's just,
she's just stalking me.
- She keeps stalking me.
- Not again.
Simon, I'm a little confused.
Hold on one second.
Come on out.
Simon, I'm just looking at a
postcard Sybil just sent me.
She seems to be in Florida right now.
- What's that?
- Money.
Money? For what?
You know damn well what it's for.
I refuse to come near that.
Now, please stay away with that money.
- It's too late, Simon.
- Oh, yeah? And why is that?
Because you've already agreed
to kill my husband.
- You're an accomplice now.
- No. No.
- Yes. Yes.
- No. No, no, no.
You saw pictures.
You are deep into this, mister.
- You and I have an understanding.
- We don't have anything.
You're going to be... you know the play
Harvey when he has an invisible rabbit?
- Yes.
- That's what you are.
I will you out of my life.
- Great.
- You're willed out.
Simon, I don't understand.
Why are you referencing the play Harvey?
He was an invisible rabbit.
He existed in Elwood's mind.
Was Sybil there?
Or was she not there?
Sybil's a stalker.
She's crazy.
She somehow... all the fan mail
and every... she got it in her head.
What are you doing?
I am just trying to find
a place in your new life.
Well, there isn't one.
Why can't there be?
We have a beautiful history together.
What does he have to
offer you that I don't?
I'm younger than him
and more attractive.
And in some ways more masculine.
Enough, Priscilla.
I am not a heterosexual woman.
I'll be right back.
I have to use the bathroom.
- Which... which one?
- Simon!
What is wrong with you?
I'm sorry. I'm just, you know...
I don't see why we had
to invite your ex to lunch.
I'm not going to do any commercials.
I'm going to stay home.
You're under no obligation to me
what you do when I'm not there.
It has nothing to do with
the reality you and I share.
That's indecipherable.
So what about you? Are you going to take
a real business trip one of these days
to the stage or are you
just going to keep wallowing
in your own angst and self pity forever?
I'm sorry, that was mean of me,
what I said back there,
but I don't want to be with somebody
who just gives up on his career.
You don't have to go out there
every night, face an audience
night after night and lie to them.
I think you could try harder.
I think you could try harder for me.
Show me the man
that is not passion's slave,
and I will wear him in my heart.
Yes. In my heart of hearts.
When the mind's free,
the body's delicate,
the tempest in my mind
doth from my senses
take all feeling else.
Let go.
- Pegeen?
- Yes?
- She killed him.
- What?
Sybil Van Buren killed her husband.
- I can't believe it.
- Really?
Oh, God. She told me
I was an accomplice.
We met at a mental institution.
She gets out of the hospital,
she comes to my town,
she sends me letters,
she comes to my house.
You know, she became a stalker.
And each time I told her, "Please go away.
I want nothing to do with this."
Mrs. Van Buren said that you encouraged her
to find someone else to kill her husband.
That's not the way I said it.
But you did say to her, "You ought
to find a professional hitman"?
Well, yes. Well, yes, I said, but...
Therefore you were encouraging her
to find a way to kill her husband.
- You're twisting the logic. I'm sorry.
- Am I correct?
I don't mean, you know...
impose on your work.
I mean, but that's not... Pegeen?
- I mean, could you help me here?
- That won't be necessary.
- Okay.
- Were you sexually involved with Sybil?
No. Please. No.
I mean, this is a young woman
in her early 30s at best.
No. I just... She was a misguided fan.
That's what she was.
Before you go, I want to let you know
that I've been doing some
reorganization of your playthings.
- What playthings?
- Playthings?
- They shouldn't be left laying around.
- Yes, I agree, Mrs. Rutledge.
Now, the... the mechanical
electronic devices,
the magic wand,
the G-spot vibrator, and the...
Jack rabbit, they should
be oiled at least once a month.
- Yeah, right.
- That's true.
And the pigtail butt plug
and the... the double dong,
and the fisting mitt,
- they're going in the washer.
- You're absolutely right, Mrs. Rutledge.
- Have a nice evening.
- Thank you.
- Thanks, folks. You have a great evening now.
- You too. Thank you.
I'm going to be right back.
Oh, I should've known.
I should've known.
The minute Pegeen got up from the table.
I should've known.
- No, really?
- Three times to quit.
That's so cute to think
of you in a pick-up truck.
- Are you ready?
- I love that.
- What?
- You ready?
Oh, Simon. This is Tracy.
- Hi.
- Yeah. Hi.
Wait. Are you that actor?
Wow. You were really great in this movie
that I used to watch
when I was really little.
- What was it called?
- I don't know.
You know, the one with the tarantula.
I've never made a
movie with a tarantula.
- Are you sure?
- No.
- Yes he was.
- Isn't she adorable?
Shall we?
Oh, actually,
we're having so much fun here.
I can... could I get
a ride home from you?
- Yeah. Yes.
- With your truck? She has a truck.
- I drive a truck.
- You can go on home if you want.
I'll catch up later. We'll be fine.
- Hi.
- Hi, Simon.
Hi, girls. Have a nice time?
- Yes.
- Yes.
We had a really nice time.
Sure you did.
I was going to give Tracy
the grand tour of the house.
Oh. Be my guest.
- Well, I want you to come.
- Yeah.
- You know, go ahead.
- No.
I don't know. I'm doing all right here.
Why don't you do it?
- No, come. No, I want you to come.
- Yeah, all right. I will come.
- Yay.
- Come this way.
Go down this hallway.
What are we going to do?
Take human playthings into our bed now?
- Maybe.
- Yeah.
Come on. Don't be such a bore.
Live a little.
Look, I have something for you.
Hey, Simon.
Still trying to think of
the name of that movie.
I was going to give Tracy
a tour of the house.
- Okay.
- Okay. Bye.
- Bye.
- Isn't this great?
Hello, Doc, hi.
You'll never guess...
the turn of events.
she told me that she...
she wanted me to be
the father of her child.
I never heard you
talk about a child before.
I mean, Pegeen has been
planning our lives together.
Are you sure that's
what she actually said?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I don't like the sound of this, Simon.
I want you to come in and see me
for a face to face session.
To be honest, I find the inconsistencies
of what you're telling me
to be very disturbing. So, please,
come by my office.
Don't neglect this, Simon.
I'm very concerned about you.
I'm Simon Axler.
I'm having my sperm tested.
Well, this is dermatology.
Fertility is three flights up.
- Have a seat.
- Thank you very much.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I got lost.
That's okay.
You're under so much pressure.
Well, here it is.
You know, I'm closing in on 70.
That's still young.
When this child is 10,
I'll be pushing 80.
Who knows, by that time...
- I may not be your choice.
- You'll always be my choice.
Yeah. Well...
That's good to know.
That's really good to know.
I'm going to be bald in a wheelchair
with this spine of mine.
Believe me, I'll be in a wheelchair.
And then what? Probably dead.
Maybe I'm not suited to be a father.
it was too late.
Another missed opportunity.
I've missed so many in my life.
You know, I missed everything.
Gave up my life.
You didn't. Here you are embracing life.
We're going to have a baby,
and you're going to get back surgery,
and we're going to be in love
for the rest of your life.
I can't believe...
that you're saying these things.
I mean...
I mean, that everything...
would come to this. I mean...
Things would take on
this turn of events.
Well, here I am.
Ready to go back to work,
resume my career,
and if all goes well today...
impregnate you. Right?
I am old now.
And these same crosses...
spoil me.
And these same crosses...
Who is this?
I want to say some things to you, Simon.
- Carol?
- I want to say some things to you.
- What?
- And then I want you to stay away
- from my daughter.
- Are you crazy?
Carol, I'm rehearsing here.
Do you have any idea what I'm
doing next week? I'm opening.
Having trouble remembering
your lines, Simon?
It's not surprising since... Why should
you be able to remember your lines
when you can't even remember your life?
What's that supposed to mean?
Do you remember what we were
doing the year before you and Asa
did Godot in New Jersey?
- We were doing a play.
- And Asa... what was Asa doing?
- Asa?
- Asa, my husband, your friend.
He was in the hospital.
And what were we doing, Simon?
- We?
- You and I.
- We were doing a play.
- And what else?
What else? I don't know what else.
- We were screwing, Simon.
- Okay.
That's what we were doing.
We were screwing.
Like rats or sailors.
Okay. We were just... I mean...
I don't know. It was...
the play was one night.
We were drunk and...
No, no. Eight times.
- Eight times?
- Eight times.
- You were counting?
- It's in my diary.
Carol, this was decades ago.
What are you talking about?
I mean, you know, the play was over.
Yes, and we never
spoke about it, did we?
- No.
- No.
And then I had the lovely
baby girl I always wanted.
And Asa and I were... we were all right.
Yes. It was a happy ending.
Except the lovely baby girl grew up
to be a rather eccentric creature.
A confused creature with
some troublesome traits.
You know, probably genetic.
You should talk to her
father about that.
- Bullshit.
- My God, you're dense.
- Bullshit.
- You're so dense.
You know, whenever people write about
what a brilliant observer you are,
I tend to laugh hysterically. Have you
never, never noticed the similarities?
- I don't believe you.
- I'll send you her DNA.
God. It's such a shame that...
King Lear died of a broken heart.
What do you mean?
Well, the ending could have been
so much more theatrical.
I knew you wouldn't have
the guts to do it yourself.
Good work.
Good work.
Simon, you okay?
Oh, yeah.
That was good.
Hello, this is Simon. Leave a message.
Simon, are you li...
Oh, man.
I can't believe this.
They're waiting for the
freak to show up again.
Stop reading that. Seriously,
put it away. Those guys are jerks.
You're going to be amazing tomorrow.
Don't read those people.
And we, too...
I don't know the words.
I don't know the words.
- What are you doing?
- What do you mean what am I doing?
- What are you doing?
- I'm, like, five minutes late. Why are you mad?
This is... the car's been
waiting here for half an hour.
Oh, are you fucking kidding me?
What'd you do with your hair?
I don't want to talk about it.
It doesn't matter.
- But it looks different.
- Yeah, well...
It's not easy for me to go shopping
for this kind of dress alone.
It's not easy for me to look into the mirror
and wonder if this is who I am now.
Oh. So you choose this time
to have an identity crisis.
- Yes.
- At this moment?
- Yes.
- Well, that's thoughtful of you.
Sybil Van Buren continues to express
disappointment with stage actor Simon Axler,
a friend, who, according to
Mrs. Van Buren, promised to help,
but never quite came through.
Mrs. Van Buren had accused her husband
of improper treatment of their daughter,
although she has never specified
what she meant by that.
She has said she won't
give any further comment
until she receives
a visit from Simon Axler.
Simon? Simon?
Simon, please tell us, do you think
you'll be able to pull off this comeback...
- ...after your emotional breakdown on stage?
- I got to get backstage. I'm sorry.
- What's your relationship with Sybil Van Buren?
- I got to get backstage.
How do you feel knowing that he may
be involved with another woman?
Repeatedly shown disregard
for anything I want.
What the hell do you mean by that?
- Are you asking for an example?
- Sure.
You brought that girl to my house.
Did you consult me?
What, I'm supposed to ask
for your permission now?
Why don't you just suck the fun and
spontaneity out of everyone's life?
You didn't even ask me what I thought.
My opinion.
It's... the frustrating thing
is that I was so looking forward
to sharing my news with you.
That's... that's what's frustrating.
What news?
"What news"?
That's what I mean.
You know? That's what I...
You don't even remember.
Remember? I had a surprise.
What is it?
Forget it. I... I... I...
It's just not the right time.
What is it?
- I had my sperm tested.
- What the fuck?
I can have a baby. I can have a child.
- Oh, my God.
- I can have a baby.
Are you kidding me?
No. What's going on? What is this?
You gave me a pamphlet that tells
me that you can have a baby?
No, it told me I could have a baby.
- Where did you get this idea from?
- You. I mean you clearly wanted a child.
No, I don't. I never said that.
I never said that.
- You never said that?
- No.
- Okay.
- I'm not ready. I don't want to.
Oh, well.
You know, you are something.
You know, I always thought
that you had it in you to be selfish.
- What?
- But this...
This is, as they say,
it beats the clock.
Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me
right now with this shit?
- That's all you are is about yourself.
- You come to me with your fucking brochure
that tells you you can have babies,
- I'm supposed to suddenly...
- The brochure doesn't tell me...
Fuck this. You know what? Fuck this.
I'm not going to be someone I'm not for you.
- I'm done pretending to be that person.
- What was I? What was I? Was I an experiment?
- I can't believe you're asking me this question.
- Was I some... some out-of-town try-out?
What was I? Oh, you're leaving?
Oh, that's great.
- Yeah.
- That's great. It's my opening night.
- Okay.
- I just can't... I just can't keep doing this.
- I can't keep doing this act for you.
- I'm supposed to stop you from leaving now.
- Is that it? Don't go.
- No. Please don't stop me from leaving.
I don't want you to stop me from
leaving because I'm leaving.
- No, you're not leaving. You can't do that.
- Yes, I am. Yes, I am.
- You're delusional. Seriously.
- Oh, no, I'm not.
Why? Because I turned you into something
that is close to being a woman?
- Oh, my God. Fuck you.
- Okay.
- Fuck you and your show.
- Back at you. Back at you.
You know what?
I don't even... it's not even...
- It's not worth it. Okay? Bye.
- It's not worth... Don't leave me. Pegeen.
- What?
- Do not leave this theater!
- You can't leave me.
- Yes, I can.
You can't leave me! I'm opening tonight!
- I'm sorry.
- I'm going out on stage!
I'm going to do King Lear!
I'm doing Shakespeare!
- Did you ever hear about...
- Why are you yelling at me?
- Why are you yelling at me like this?
- William Shakespeare!
- Oh, my God.
- I never want to see you again.
- This... this...
- Bye. You are a destructive force!
This is the most energy
I've ever seen you have,
- so congratulations, use it for Lear.
- Why don't you go in front of the house,
in the audience
and you'll see real energy?
I wouldn't waste it.
I keep it for the stage.
I keep it for out there.
Go out there tonight and see me...
- see me and you'll see real emotion.
- You just keep telling yourself that.
- You know what? I am more...
- Real love!
...than just a baby maker, by the by.
I am also a professor,
- and a woman, and I don't give a shit...
- You're not a woman.
- what your weird, old man needs are.
- You're a... you're a baby pony!
- Oh, shut up, a baby pony?
- You're a furlong!
That doesn't even make sense.
You know what?
- I can't even believe people...
- I'm blowing my voice!
- I can't believe people are paying to watch you.
- I'm blowing my voice!
I would pay someone to not...
- with you ever again.
- You belong in a zoo!
You know what?
Good luck with your great sperm.
Come back! Come back!
Come back, Shane!
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Let us away to prison.
We two alone...
will sing like birds in the cage.
when thou dost ask of me blessing...
I will kneel down and ask
of thee forgiveness.
so we'll live...
and pray...
and sing...
and tell old tales...
and laugh.
we will take upon us
the mystery of things
as if we were God's spies.
And we'll wear out, in a walled prison,
packs and sects of great ones...
That ebb and flow by the moon.
We will take upon us
the mystery of things...
as if we were God's spies.
A plague upon you, murderers...
traitors all.
I might have saved her.
Now... Cordelia, stay a little.
Her voice was ever soft,
Thou'lt come no more.
thou'lt come no more.
never, never...
never, never,
I pray you, sir...
undo this button.
Thank you, sir.
Do you see this?
Look on her...
her lips.
Look there...
Look there.
That's not in the play.
This is who he is.
This is why he is who he is.
No, he's dying.
He's not dying. This is a genius.
You're looking at a genius.
I'm telling you,
the genius is killing himself.
There is no knife in this scene.
King Lear dies of grief.
It doesn't matter.
He's taking it to a whole other level.
What the hell is going on here?
What comfort to this great decay
may come... shall be applied.
For us, we will resign.
During the life of this old majesty...
to him our absolute power.
I've never seen anything
like this in my life.
Yes! Yes!
It's... it's okay.
My lord... My lord.
- Look up, my lord.
- Vex not his ghost, oh, let him pass.
He hates him much...
that would upon the rack of this
rough world stretch him out longer.
He is gone indeed.
The wonder was he hath
endured so long...
he but usurped his life.
The weight of this
sad time we must obey.
Speak what we feel,
not what we ought to say.
The oldest hath borne most.
We that are young...
shall never see so much,
nor live so long.