The Long, Long Trailer (1953) Movie Script
Tacy! Tacy, open the door!
Tacy! It's me, Nicky! Are you here?
Tacy!
Tacy!
Tacy! Ta...
Are you the manager?
- Why, no. The manager...
- Where is he? Do you know?
Well, that's hard to say.
It seems a little girl in one of the trailers
lost her cat.
He's out trying to find it.
Is there anything I can do?
- No, I'm looking for some people.
- You'd better wait inside.
You won't miss anyone.
They've all got to pass right here.
It's real rainy, isn't it?
Yeah.
Like this to read? I get a great kick
out of these trailer magazines.
- Don't let me disturb you.
- Oh, that's all right.
You a trailerite?
- Yeah.
- Looks like I'm gonna be one too.
I had a time persuading my wife.
She was dead set against it.
Says it's too late in life
for us to start being gypsies.
But we've been looking
at one tonight.
A young lady wants to sell.
And I think it's done the trick.
The two of them
are back at the house now...
...measuring will the Deepfreeze fit in.
You know, my wife won't move
without that Deepfreeze.
Say, what kind of a motor
is the New Moon?
- Would you know?
- Rig.
You want to sound like an old-timer,
you call it a rig.
- Rig?
- The New Moon's fine.
Well, this one's practically new.
The young lady said it's only gone
some 7000 miles.
- Is that so?
- She feels terrible about selling it...
...but her plans changed.
She has to go back to her family.
- You been married long?
- Thirty-one years.
You get along all right?
No fights? No battles?
- Why, no.
- Then don't buy a trailer.
I'm telling you, don't buy a trailer.
That young lady with the trailer,
that's my wife.
My wife! I've been looking for her
for three days.
I've been to the police,
I've been to the highway patrol.
I must've gone to a hundred trailer
parks. Everything I own is in that trailer.
I haven't got a clean shirt.
I haven't got a change of clothes.
That's what can happen
when you buy a trailer.
I'm telling you, it's a fine thing...
...when you come home to your home,
and your home is gone.
If you told me two months ago
that I'd be fool enough to buy a trailer...
...I would have told you
you were crazy.
Absolutely out of your mind.
They were a joke to me.
A great big joke!
A trailer!
Oh, Tacy.
Oh, that's very funny, honey.
The Collinis are home.
Please drop in for cocktails.
You'll find us someplace
along the Lincoln Highway.
Or better yet, stay where you are.
We'll bring our house to you.
Hey, you know, you could get a
tambourine and I'll get a dancing bear...
...and we could clean up.
Honey, you're crying.
Did I say something wrong?
Did I say something to offend you?
No. I don't blame you for laughing.
It's a ridiculous idea.
But then I guess
I'm pretty ridiculous myself.
Thank heaven you found it out...
...before you made
the horrible mistake of marrying me.
Oh, honey, what on earth
are you talking about?
I'm just a figure of fun, a clown.
Oh, now, sweetheart, let's get this thing
straightened out right now.
Now, look at me, Tacy.
I wouldn't make fun of you, ever.
I'm the fellow who loves you, remember?
What is this about a trailer?
You mean,
you were seriously thinking of...
All I was thinking of
was making a home for my husband.
A little place we could call our own
where I could take care of him...
...cook for him
and make him comfortable.
If that's a horrible offense...
...if that makes me a criminal,
then I'm terribly sorry.
I apologize. I withdraw the whole idea.
Honey, can we talk this over calmly?
We'll have a home, darling.
What kind of a home when
your work takes you all those places?
- Colorado, Montana, Idaho...
- All right, then.
All right, we won't go to Colorado.
I'll get another job.
Oh, no. I didn't mean that.
This is a wonderful chance for you.
Anyway, it'll always
be something like that.
If it isn't a tunnel in Colorado...
...it'll be a bridge in Alaska...
...or a dam across the Pacific.
- Something off somewhere.
- I didn't know you felt...
We'll always be living out of suitcases
and using other people's things.
Living in some stale little hotel
or some grubby furnished room.
But don't you see? If we had a trailer...
...no matter where we went,
I could make a home for you.
When the job was over, we could hitch
up our house and go on to the next.
Now, look, honey.
Now let's get down to facts.
First of all, the kind of a trailer
that you're thinking about...
...probably costs a fortune.
Now, you know what our budget
is for the first year.
"Travel, honeymoon..."
Here it is, rent.
I know, $ 1700. All right.
Now, for only $ 100 more,
do you know what we could have?
Have you any conception?
We could have this beautiful home.
Only $ 1800, and that's complete,
mind you.
Everything is included. All this furniture.
Chairs, sofa, bed, stove, refrigerator,
shower bath, everything.
Absolutely everything,
right down to coat hangers in the closet.
You don't have to buy a thing.
Did you ever see anything as beautiful?
Well, it's kind of roomy at that.
- Wonderful closet space.
- Where?
That's the living room.
Oh. Well, it's convenient.
Everything is right there within easy...
You know, Nicky...
...what I was thinking about most of all
was our honeymoon.
Can't you just imagine
what it would be like?
Some of the most
beautiful country in the world...
...is between here and Colorado.
The whole trip
would be just like a dream.
We'd go where we pleased
when we pleased.
If we saw a beautiful spot
beside a brook or a mountain lake...
...a lovely wood, we'd stop there
and we'd be all alone.
It'd all be for us.
The moonlight and the sunsets...
...and the sound
of the tree toads far off...
The night the trailer show opened,
there was no holding Tacy.
Pardon me, but could you tell me
where the Bungalette trailer is?
Bungalette.
Oh, this is it, right here.
Thank you.
It's all right.
You know, we could put
some built-in gun racks right here.
Yeah.
- Both sides.
- I don't know. What's this business here?
Oh, excuse me, chum.
I thought my cap might...
Excuse me, l...
Pardon me. I want to get my cap
over here, lady, please.
- Excuse me. I'm so sorry.
- It's all right.
Pardon me, please. Pardon me.
But you know, it's pretty compact.
Oh, I'm so disappointed I could cry.
It looked enormous in the ads.
It was such a wonderful idea.
Well, don't worry, sweetheart.
We'll have a home.
We'll just have to wait a while,
that's all.
And then we saw it.
- Isn't it a beauty?
- Yeah, it's big, all right.
Let's look inside, just for fun.
Now, Tacy, that thing
must cost $ 1 million, at least.
Oh, I didn't mean
we'd ever think of buying it.
I know we could never do that.
But as long as we're here,
let's just look inside. Come on, darling.
What happened, darling?
Nothing, I just cracked my skull,
that's all.
Isn't it lovely?
So new and fresh and pretty.
Oh, look, glass in the oven
so you don't have to open it to look in.
Come on, honey,
let's look back here. Come on.
Do you see
this wonderful shower, honey?
Could I show you some of the features
of our trailer?
- No, no, we're just looking. Thank you.
- Thank you just the same.
- Did you see the linen closet?
- Yes, fine...
Oh, Nicky. Honey, be careful.
What's that step doing there?
That's a sunken living room.
It's just like a lovely little house.
Oh, Nicky, isn't it wonderful?
You couldn't ask for anything
more than this, could you?
- I'm gonna ask how much it is.
- Now, Tacy.
Just for fun.
Oh, pardon me.
l... I know we couldn't possibly
afford it...
...but could you tell me
the price of this trailer?
Yes. It's $5345.
I was afraid of something like that.
Of course, you wouldn't
have to pay that all at once.
- All you'd have to do is put down a third.
- Thank you very much.
That's $ 1750, isn't it?
- Approximately, yes.
- Thank you.
Did you hear that, Nicky?
Seventeen-fifty. That's $50 less
than the one we can't even stand up in.
It couldn't be 1750. That must be what
you give him for the down payment.
That's what I say, 1750.
Oh, let's get it, Nicky, please.
- What?
- I'll save, I promise.
I won't spend a cent
on anything again as long as I live.
Only I just want to have
this for our home.
Honey, we could do it, couldn't we?
We wouldn't have to pay any rent.
I'll cook all of our meals. Honest I will.
We won't have to go
to any restaurants or hotels.
Honey, there won't be any bellboys
to bother us, no tips.
Well, just think of the money that
we could save on our honeymoon alone.
Ten minutes later, I started saving it.
And $ 160 for state tax...
...and $ 73 for registration, license fee
and payment on the insurance.
That makes a grand total of $ 1932.22.
- And 22 cents?
- That's right.
Ever hauled a house trailer before?
- No, we've never...
- Well, if I were you...
...I'd have a professional
haul it to Colorado.
Oh, no. That's gonna be half the fun.
You're gonna haul it yourself, huh?
Maybe I'd better take a look at your car.
My car?
Better get a heavier car.
Be a big saving in the end.
Let's see. We'll allow you $400
for your old car.
And that plus 900 cash,
makes 1300 as down payment.
Okay?
Look, are you sure that this car
is heavy enough to pull a trailer?
Absolutely.
Of course, you have to have a hitch
welded to the bottom of your car.
A hitch, huh?
How much would that cost?
Oh, we don't do that here.
- You'll have to go to an expert.
- I see. Where am I gonna find an expert?
Excelsior Trailer Repair.
They're the best people in town...
We now had a new car, a new trailer...
...and mortgages of $ 7646.
We don't just weld the hitch to your car,
we bolt it on in three places:
The forward member,
the rear member, under your bumper.
Hey, Joe, here... Here it is.
Bring it over here.
You're getting the best hitch
on the market today.
This is the ball. It engages securely
to the socket in the slip dolly...
...which prevents a lot of...
- Just a minute. Slip dolly?
Oh, sure, sure. Come here. Here.
Here it is. Come over here.
Now, this is the B6 four-wheel model.
It's $ 170 extra plus tax, but it's worth
it. It takes the weight of the trailer...
Wait a minute.
Do I have to have one of these things?
Cripes! Why, you can't afford
to be without that.
It was a question of
who 'd give out first:
Me or the money.
Block and tackle, just in case.
- In case of what?
- Just in case.
That'll be fine, now.
The little lady said she wanted the car
dropped off at her house.
- That's right.
- Sometimes you don't know what to do...
...with these things.
Try to figure them out...
Oh, no. You drive.
- Who, me?
- Sure, sure. Move over.
Nothing to it.
Now, these are your trailer brakes.
The most important thing
to remember is...
...when you stop, put your
trailer brakes on, or you'll jackknife.
- Jackknife?
- Yeah. You know, trailer and car like this:
Saw it happen on a hill over here.
The trailer tipped over, took the car
down the canyon after it.
So, remember, trailer brakes first.
Trailer brakes first.
These are your blinker lights.
When you're gonna turn left
and turn right.
There's your stop light.
Put your blinker lights on.
Left. Right. Trailer brakes. Car brakes.
Lights. Left. Right.
Trailer brakes. Car brakes.
Okay, let's go. Ignition. Start it.
Take your brake off, put it in low,
go, boy!
We were moving.
I couldn 't be sure whether
I was pulling it, or it was pushing me.
You'll get the hang of it.
Just remember to allow for that
extra length behind you when you turn.
Always think of it as a train behind you.
Forty feet of train.
Those trailer brakes
are your best friends.
You take care of them,
and they'll take care of you.
They're electric brakes...
...actuated by a magnet
which is connected to the brake pad.
This magnet is always in contact
with the armature.
The armature is in contact
with the brake drum...
...and revolves with the wheel. Red light.
Red light! Trailer brake!
Look, just keep repeating to yourself:
"Trailer brakes first,
trailer brakes first."
- Make it your motto.
- Trailer brakes first.
Okay, green light. Go, boy.
Don't get nervous.
You'll get the hang of it.
Get into the left-hand lane.
Ease her over a little more.
Put out your arm.
No, not your head, your arm!
Look out for the truck!
Trailer brake!
Always remember, trailer brakes first!
Trailer brakes first!
A few days before the wedding...
...the trailer was being packed
under Tacy's calm supervision.
Oh, my. Let us in, we've got more.
I was still in a state of shock.
I couldn 't get those trailer brakes
out of my mind.
Oh, Nicky, you poor lamb!
You're not going to be able
to get those things in there.
You're just gonna have to strip down
to the bare essentials.
What do we do with these, Tacy?
Put them in the blanket closet in there.
- Well, here I am.
- Oh, hi, darling.
Well, honey, put them under the bed
or something.
We'll have to find someplace
to put them. I can't find a place to put...
We're gonna need a trailer
for the trailer.
Tacy, what shall I do with these towels
marked "his"?
Put them over here with the ones
marked "hers."
- Tacy!
- What?
That thing can't ride there.
That's dangerous.
Now, just relax, dear.
I had Mr. Jackson make a little wedge,
and it's perfectly in place.
- What about these boxes?
- Make sure there's nothing in...
Excuse me, dear. Excuse me, Nicky.
It's absolute chaos. Excuse me.
- Tacy! Tacy! Come here, quick!
- What's the matter?
This is a madhouse!
Trailer brakes! Red light! Green light!
Trailer brakes! Red light!
What happened?
Oh, honey, what did you do?
I had everything arranged.
Look, do we have to have
all of this stuff?
Of course, dear.
Wouldn't one casserole be enough?
One casserole?
For souffls, for sauces, for pot roast?
- Really, dear.
- I'm sorry.
I need everything here. You can't set up
housekeeping and expect to rough it.
Forget that I said anything. I don't
want to argue. I'm a little nervous.
Nicky, are you still holding those?
Put them in the bedroom closet.
No, honey, you go to the closet
in the hall.
I saved it just for you. Right in there.
- Every one of them, I want to make sure...
- In the dresser.
Geraldine, which closet
did Tacy tell me to take?
Tacy, which closet
did you have saved for Nicky?
Tacy, I can't find the other set of linens.
On top of that big silver box.
Honey, I told you the hall closet.
Well, the hall closet is full of your things.
Oh, well, put your things
there temporarily.
Come on, we've got to shift this thing
around. I've got to change everything.
- Excuse me...
- Look out!
Trailer brakes! Red light! Green light!
Trailer brakes! Red light!
Tacy, I know what the trouble is.
They sent two sets of towels.
Oh, no, that means two sets of linen,
two sets of towels...
- Excuse me, please.
...two sets of everything!
What did I tell you? I told you that!
And then, for a while,
I forgot all about the trailer.
Oh, the stuff went every which way
and I was coming in!
Oh, I just...
Yes. I know what you mean.
- Goodbye!
- Goodbye!
- Goodbye!
- Have a nice time!
- Say goodbye. Say goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye!
- Bye, Nicky.
Goodbye!
I'm gonna miss you!
Let's get out of here.
- and don't catch cold at night.
It's gets so cold.
What's the matter?
There's something wrong with the...
Bye!
Bye, everyone!
For heaven's sake, Nicky, come on.
I'm trying to come on.
This keeps dying off. I don't know.
Goodbye!
No, they're not, it's the car!
Come on.
Come on.
Can't we go any faster?
I guess we can, but I'm afraid to.
- Why?
- It scares me.
It scares you? Why?
I don't know why.
It just scares me, that's all.
Yeah, may all your troubles
be little ones!
- Who was that?
- How should I know?
What's the matter with everybody?
- What are they yelling at?
- I don't know.
Oh, they must have put
a sign on the back.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
Well, then, stop. Stop and take it off.
You can't stop one of these things
on the highway.
Well, can't you pull over?
There is no place to pull.
Oh, I can't stand it, Nicky. Please stop.
Look, you talk as if this was a car.
This is a freight train. Forty feet of train.
There's a place to stop.
I can't stop on a curve.
- Watch out for the red light.
- I know.
Watch out! You're going through it!
- I can't...
- Stop! What's the matter?
It won't stop! I don't know.
- Watch out.
- Oh, trailer brake!
Everybody's looking at it.
Oh, honey, watch it.
- What's the matter?
- I don't know.
Thank you so very much.
Tacy, will you get the map
out of the glove compartment, please?
Yep.
I've got to turn here somewhere
if I remember right.
We've got to get on Highway 101.
- Find the right map?
- Yeah, I got it.
Oh, they print these things
all upside down.
- Can you see it?
- Yeah, here it is.
Be sure to tell me when we get there.
Turn right here!
No, no, no! What are you doing?
- I'm turning right!
- But you're going the wrong way.
You should have been
on that road that turned left.
You told me to turn right.
I didn't tell you to turn right.
You said, "Turn right here,"
and I turned right.
You didn't let me finish!
I was trying to tell you to turn left.
What I was trying to say is,
you turn right here, left.
- "Turn right here, left"?
- Exactly.
Have you any conception how much
room it takes to turn this thing around?
We may have to go on
for miles and miles.
Only a couple of more miles,
and we'll be there.
Wait till you see
what I have for your dinner.
Don't tell me
you're going to cook dinner.
I certainly am.
I've got it all planned.
You're gonna take your shower...
...and by the time you've finished,
I'll have dinner ready.
Oh, Nicky, won't it be wonderful?
Our first dinner in our own little home.
- Hey!
- What? What happened?
I almost forgot. I didn't give you
your wedding present yet.
Look there in the glove compartment.
The envelope.
"Mrs. Nicholas Collini." Oh, honey.
Go on, look inside.
What is it?
Well, I always read where
you put the house in your wife's name...
...so there you are. The trailer is yours.
Oh, Nicky, honey! Oh, baby! Thank you!
Oh, that's just wonderful.
- Mr. and Mrs. Collini?
- That's right.
Well, now.
Welcome to Breezeway Trailer Park.
- Thank you.
- I have your space waiting for you.
You don't have to do a thing.
Just step inside and register.
I'll horse your rigging
and get you all hooked up.
- Oh, thanks.
- You're quite welcome.
Mr. Lawfield, lot 33...
...call your mother at her home.
Mrs. Morley, lot 12...
...special delivery for you
at the park office.
Mr. Carmel, lot 21...
...we have a package for you.
- Anything wrong?
- Wrong?
I mean the missus.
She... She turned her ankle.
On that concrete block, I bet.
You poor darling. Don't worry.
I know what to do.
Bring me a pail of hot water
and that bag of Epsom salts.
- Here, let me help.
- Please, I can manage all right.
You can't get her through that way.
Please let me down.
I can walk these few steps.
You'll do nothing of the sort.
Give me her feet.
- I know how to manage this.
- Is someone hurt?
- Broke her ankle.
- Oh, isn't that too bad?
This is Miss Dudley. She's the
big Airway Vagabond next door.
- How do you do?
- How do you do, Mrs. Vagabond?
Now, easy does it. Easy does it there.
Look out. Low bridge.
Where do you want her? On the bed?
Please, I feel fine. Really, I do.
Gentle there.
Gentle, gentle now, don't hurt her.
There we are. Which one is it?
- The left.
- The right.
- Oh, yeah, the left, the left.
- Emma! We're out of Epsom salts...
...but the lady in the Zimmer 36
is bringing some.
We've got to get you off your foot.
You come back here, I'll fix you up.
- Come in, Maude.
- I brought the Epsom salts.
- Ladies, this is Miss Barrett.
- Nick Collini, Mrs. Collini.
- How do you do?
- I'm pleased to meet you.
Oh, golly, what a beautiful rig this is.
Will you look at these drapes?
Not now, Maude.
We've got to make this girl comfortable.
Now, Miss Dudley, you take that arm,
Maude, you take that one.
Now, easy, easy.
Don't let her step on it. Take it easy.
Easy, girls. Now watch that step.
Watch that step! Watch it, watch it!
Give me it! Give me that.
I got the hot water.
Oh, Mrs. Hittaway is a wonder!
Any sickness or trouble,
why, she's there before the doctor.
Mr. Collini!
Hey, I hear you had a nasty accident.
Oh, it was really nothing, Nothing at all.
How about seeing a doctor?
We got a doctor on row 3.
Really, it's not necessary.
You're very kind.
Those kids haven't had supper.
Run over and bring the casserole.
- Do her good to have some munchables.
- We wouldn't think of it.
You go right ahead, Joe.
I'd like to know what a trailerite's good
for, if it's not to help another trailerite!
- What did you say?
- I say, you towed her far?
No, we haven't been traveling
very much lately.
- Nice rig, very good rig.
- Thank you.
I'm a Kozy-Coach man myself.
That's a good rig too.
Towed her over 7000 miles.
Well, that's not saying
that this isn't a good rig too. It is.
Thank you. Thank you.
Excuse me, please. Excuse me.
- Here you are, sir.
- Mr. Collini. Do you mind?
- I want the husband and kids to see this.
- Sure.
This is my husband Carl,
and this is Nick Collini.
Oh, look, darling! Look at this!
Is this really living?
Next year, we're gonna trade in
our Airway Zephyr and get a new one.
Well, I lived in a house in town
for 15 years.
I never did get to know some of my
neighbors, even after 15 years.
But in a trailer park,
you get to know everyone right off.
Yeah, you certainly do.
- Is my wife here?
- Here I am, baby.
I've been looking all over for you.
- I want you to meet my husband.
- How you do?
Pop? That's all I got left, pop.
No, just plain water.
Folks, do you know
what time it is? 11:30.
I'm sorry.
- Outside.
- Thank you. Good night. Well, well, well.
That's the fine thing
about trailer life.
Everybody bobs up
at one place or another.
There were people
we met in Miami...
Save it, Joe! Here, take this.
Don't worry about your wife. She's
gonna be right as rain in the morning.
I gave her a sleeping pill.
Bye, now.
Mrs. Jack Wood, lot 15.
Please call your children.
Mrs. Jack Wood, lot 15.
Please call your children.
They are running wild
in the park flowerbed.
Mr. Lawfield, lot 33.
Call your mother at her...
Well, don't tell me
you finally decided to wake up?
- Good morning, darling.
- Good morning.
What happened?
I haven't slept like that in my life.
What did they put in that bath?
Mrs. Hittaway decided it would be a
wonderful idea to give you a sleeping pill.
A sleeping...? Oh, fine.
Mr. Lawfield, lot 33.
Call your mother...
- Noisy here, isn't it?
- Yeah, it sure is.
We better get out of here
before the next delegation comes in.
You know, Nicky, we don't
have to stay in these trailer parks.
We can go anywhere we want to.
We've got wheels.
Why don't we just go along
until we find a nice place...
...and just stop there
and stay as long as we like?
Well, you won't have
no electricity, no refrigerator.
- No lights, no heater...
- I don't care.
You won't have any hot
and cold running water.
I don't care.
We got gas to cook by.
That's all that matters.
Oh, Nicky, let's do it.
It would just be wonderful.
Some lovely spot in the forest,
just you and me all alone.
You know something?
- Sounds wonderful to me.
- Me too.
Oh, there's a nice little forest road.
Yeah.
Oh, Nicky. It's all my fault.
Oh, now, don't be crazy. I was the one.
- I should have known better.
- What are we gonna do?
Well, we'll take the car
and go into town...
...and in the morning
I'll come back with a tow car.
You mean,
just go away and leave it?
- Leave our trailer?
- Certainly.
Oh, no, no.
I couldn't do that. I just couldn't.
Well, nobody will go by here.
This is an old logging road.
I can't go and leave
this beautiful new trailer...
...with all of our wedding
presents in it and our clothes.
Well, why can't we stay here?
Why can't we stay here all night?
Oh, Nicky, please?
- Okay.
- Give me the keys.
Now you turn on the gas
and I'll have dinner before you know it.
Gas.
"For overnight parking,
select an attractive trailer park.
The park attendant will
help you get your coach in position...
...and as soon as utilities
are attached to coach...
...you can turn on the refrigerator
and the water heater...
...shop for food and start eating."
Nicky, I can't open the door.
The other one doesn't work either.
Well, let me try it.
Oh, Nicky, it's starting to rain.
Naturally.
No, no, no! Now, don't hurt it.
- Don't hurt it?
- No.
- Get the flashlight, will you?
- Okay.
Oh, good. You got it open.
I won't unpack.
I'll just get out what we need for dinner.
Okay.
It's a good thing
we didn't have dinner last night.
Now I have everything
in the casserole.
Pull.
And all I have to do is...
...heat it up.
Oh, dear.
Oh, well, don't worry.
I'll fix something, honey.
Here's your favorite cheese.
And I'll fix some eggs
and make some nice hot coffee.
I'll go outside and get the jack
and try to level this thing up a little.
All right.
- I'm sorry, honey.
- That's all right.
While you're out there,
will you turn on the gas?
Okay.
- Okay!
- Oh, just a minute.
Okay.
Yes, sir.
Now for the pice de rsistance.
Isn't this fun, honey?
What more can you ask?
A hunk of cheese, jug of wine
and thou beside me in the "wild-erness."
Beside me where?
- The wild-erness.
- "In the wild-erness."
- Take a straw.
- Thanks.
Nicky, you know what
made me fall in love with you?
Because of the way
I drive a trailer?
My velvety eyes?
My elegant nose?
No. It was the first time I ever saw you.
At the celebration for the opening
of the new freeway, remember?
We were all at the beach.
And you never looked at me.
I did too.
You were being very gay,
making a pass at some girl.
And suddenly I noticed that one of the
buttons was off the front of your shirt.
And I just wanted to cry,
I felt so sorry for you.
I thought of you living all alone in hotels
and boarding houses in strange cities...
...and no one to sew your buttons on.
Right then, I made up my mind
that I was gonna marry you.
I was gonna marry you
and take care of you.
That's nice.
I was going to take care of you.
Now look what I've done.
Nicky?
What are you thinking about?
What are you thinking about?
I was wondering how the heck
they're gonna get this trailer out of here.
Hi.
I'll have your bed ready in a minute.
Sleepy boy.
Honey, don't you love
the sound of the rain on the roof?
Poor little baby.
You've had a busy day, haven't you?
What's the matter, honey?
Can't you sleep?
Now, let's see. Tow car, $20.
Two men, three hours, 21.50.
Washing car and trailer, $5.00.
Total, 46.50.
Let's call it an even 46.
Well, that's very kind of you.
There you are.
- Thank you and call again.
- You're welcome.
Thank you, sir.
Was it terribly expensive?
No more than if we had
a suite at the Waldorf.
Oh, dear.
Never mind. We won't be
spending money for a week...
...visiting Aunt Anastacia in Bridgewood.
Thank heavens.
Now, this is my father's side.
His two sisters,
Aunt Anastacia and Aunt Ellen.
She lives two houses down.
- Thank her for her present.
- What was it?
The luggage that we couldn't take back
because it was monogrammed.
- Oh, yeah.
- And Aunt Anastacia, of course.
She hasn't given our present yet.
She said it's gonna be a check.
I'm her namesake, so it should be
a fat one. Hundred dollars at least.
- Well, I married an heiress.
- Oh, pooh.
Then there's the twins, Dottie and Kay.
You met them at the wedding
and the boys and...
- Oh, yes. Poor Grace.
- Poor Grace?
She's Aunt Anastacia's daughter.
And I forgot Uncle Edgar.
Oh, there it is.
There's the house.
There they are. Hi.
Hey, Tacy.
Hi, honey.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, darling.
Aunt Ellen!
Oh, and, Grace.
How nice to see you, dear.
Oh, and the twins.
Look how they've grown!
I just wouldn't know you. Dottie?
Oh, I'm wrong.
- Oh, Tommy.
- Oh, darling.
How wonderful to be here,
I just can't tell...
And this...
And this is Nicky.
- Aunt Anastacia.
- How do you do?
And Uncle Edgar.
- Nicholas.
- How do you do?
- And this is Aunt Ellen.
- How do you do?
- And my Uncle Bill.
- How are you?
And Aunt Ellen's family.
Dottie and Kay, the twins.
You met them at the wedding.
I never can tell them apart.
- And this is Jody.
- Joe.
Oh, Joe. That's right.
I gotta remember.
- And this is little Tommy.
- Hello, Tommy.
- Glad to know you.
- How about that face?
- Grace.
- Oh, and poor... And Grace.
How do you do? Glad to know you.
My, I never saw anything so big.
- Imagine dragging a thing like that.
- Look at that. It's enormous.
I don't see how you ever
had the courage to pull that.
- It would scare me to death.
- Oh, it's nothing, really.
Don't you believe it.
He's a wonderful driver.
You have to be to haul that.
- Oh, now, Tacy.
- Well, you are. You know you are.
You should see him
going through towns and everything.
How much would a thing
like that weigh?
- Oh, a little over 3 tons.
- Three tons!
- Imagine pulling 3 tons.
- Weren't you scared?
Well, I'll be honest, the first 100 miles...
First 50 miles...
...I was a little nervous, but after you
get the hang of it, there's nothing to it.
Nothing to it at all.
You know, I daresay a thing
like that is pretty expensive.
Oh, 5000. Six thousand with the extra,
but that's not really expensive.
No. You have to think of it as a home.
And where could you find
a home, fully equipped, for $6000?
- Can we go in?
- Can we see what it looks like inside?
Well, not just now, kids.
I'll have to stabilize it first.
He has to stabilize it.
Hook it down so it doesn't jiggle.
We thought you could put
it there in front of the garage.
That way you could hook in
on the electricity.
Oh, that's very good, yes.
- Just back it in.
- Yes...
- Back it in?
- Yeah.
That way you can have use of the car.
Oh, sure. Of course. Yes.
Well, here goes.
You're going to be his family now,
all of you.
I know he's gonna love you,
and I hope you're gonna love him.
- Of course we are.
- I'm sure we will.
"To back a trailer coach...
...place your hand at the bottom
of the steering wheel.
Move your hand right, counterclockwise,
to back the trailer to your right."
Counterclockwise.
"Move your hand to the left, clockwise,
to back the trailer to your left."
Clockwise, left.
Counterclockwise, right.
Right, counterclockwise.
There...
Go, go! That way.
- Hold it!
- Do it that way.
Hold it! Hold it!
No, no! The other way!
Oh, Aunt Anastacia, this is terrible.
I'm so sorry.
It's all right. It doesn't matter.
I know what he's been doing wrong.
It'll be fine now.
- Pull forward!
- A little more to the right.
Turn the other way!
The other way!
My rose! My rose!
You tore down my rose
with your lousy, stinking trailer!
- What's the matter? This is awful.
- I don't know what's the matter.
Everybody's yelling at the same time.
I'm turning right, the guy says, "Turn
left. " I turn left, he says, "Turn right. "
- I read the book. Counterclockwise...
- Nicky!
Now sit down and be quiet.
You sit down and relax.
I'll take care of this.
Now listen, everybody. Quiet!
There's too many people
telling him what to do.
You're confusing this poor boy.
Only one person should give instructions.
Start the motor, darling.
Don't worry about a thing.
I want absolute silence, you hear?
Come on, darling.
Don't worry about a thing.
All right, now. Okay.
Now. Now go right back. Take it easy.
Now a little to the left.
Little to the left. That's right.
Take it easy. Now little bit to the right.
Straight back. Now, little to the left.
Little to the left. That's right.
Take it easy. Now straight back.
Right, straight. Straight back. That's it.
Straight, straight, stop!
Dear, you're all right.
Get back. All right, hold it now.
Stay right there.
I just wanna get lined up here.
Okay, okay. Come on, now.
But slowly. Take it easy.
Slowly, slowly. That's right.
That's right.
Straight. Straight.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Beautiful morning, isn't it?
- Yeah, great.
That certainly was a lovely dinner last
night, the bread pudding and all.
- Shame you have to rush off like this.
- Well...
Look, I wish you'd let me pay for that.
I would feel better.
No, we wouldn't think of it.
At least this one thing.
We won't take this present.
Oh, now, don't do that.
We insist on your having that.
- Don't we, Mother?
- You heard him, Edgar.
- lf it makes him feel better...
- It certainly does.
Well, we'll say goodbye again.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Bye.
- Goodbye.
You giving back that check.
I was gonna get us a Deepfreeze.
You're getting a deep freeze right now.
Look at those faces.
- You're a wonderful cook.
- Well, thank you.
I'll be a lot better
when I get to know that stove.
We'd better start eating those peaches
if you want to finish that whole lot.
Nicky. They're not for eating.
I'm gonna put them up.
- Up where?
- I'm gonna can them.
- Here in the trailer?
- You don't understand.
You have to grab these
when they're in season.
You wait till next winter.
We're gonna have peaches...
...and tomatoes and raspberries and...
Nicky, it isn't so bad here, is it?
You feel better about the trailer,
don't you?
I got news for you. You could make me
happy living in a cave.
Oh, I haven't even begun
to make you happy.
You're gonna have a real home.
Gonna find a place
for all your books and everything.
I'm gonna get a television set.
I think that's a good place,
over there.
Aren't you afraid you're gonna spoil me?
I like being pampered, you know.
I'm liable to get real lazy and...
What on earth is that?
Isn't it beautiful, darling?
- Our first rock.
- Our first what?
Put it down here, honey.
You see, what I thought,
we'd get a rock wherever we went.
When we get to Colorado,
we'll put them around the patio...
...and whenever we look at them,
we can think of the wonderful times.
Every one a memory, you know?
You're like a magpie building a nest.
Picking up a piece of straw here,
a thread there.
Be nice to me
or I'll take my trailer and go home.
Well, I'll tell you a secret. Your trailer
is no good without my car to haul it.
Like me. No good without you.
Keep thinking that.
- I thought you wanted this one.
- No. The other one.
- Pick up the other one.
- That one there?
- Yeah.
- All right.
This is a beauty.
Oh, look at that. Isn't that terrific?
Heavy, huh?
I wanna drive, Nicky.
Now, Tacy, that's one thing
that I can't let you do.
Oh, come on. Now, I'm a good driver.
I've been driving since I was 15.
And in Los Angeles.
What more could you ask?
Look, honey. This is something different.
You're pulling 3 tons. There's a trick.
I've been watching you. I know how.
Honey, stop this nonsense.
Come on, move over.
No, you ought to at least let me try.
What if you broke an arm or something?
Then I'd have to drive and you'd be sorry.
Okay.
- Careful!
- What's the matter, dear?
Don't ever take off like that!
You gotta remember, you've got 50 feet
of train behind you.
I know, dear. I know.
Now slow down.
You're going too fast, dear.
- Slow down.
- Yes, dear. Don't worry.
Hey, what are you doing?
You can't do that!
- You are over the white line.
- I know it, dear.
Have you lost your mind?
Get back, get back!
Just a minute.
Is that the Denver route mark?
You're going so fast, I couldn't read it.
It's all right. I saw it.
I'm telling you,
you're driving too fast.
You cannot drive
this trailer at this speed.
It's all right. It's only 35.
It's all right for you,
but I am sitting on the suicide seat.
Oh, very well.
We're coming up onto a town now.
I'll take over now. Pull over there.
I can't. There's a car behind me.
Oh, Nicky, did you see
that darling dress?
- It was blue and it had rickrack edging...
- Keep your hands on the wheel!
Well!
There's a turn out of town. I think it's
right. Would you look at the map, please?
- Red light! Red light!
- I see it.
- Trailer brakes first.
- I have them.
Which way?
We may be coming to it any minute.
I'm trying to find it.
Green light. Green light.
If you'd stop watching the road
and look at the map.
Somebody's gotta watch the road.
Here's where we are, right here.
- You turn left.
- Are you sure?
- Here it is.
- Oh, you're reading the map wrong.
- We're going south.
- What's that to do with it?
When you go south, you have to read
the map upside down. That way.
Of all the stupid, ridiculous nonsense
I've ever heard, this is the stupidest.
It would take a woman
to figure out that...
Beautiful spot, isn't it?
You ever seen such wonderful trees?
And the color. Just look at that color.
Yes, sir.
- You wanna stop and get a rock?
- No.
Okay. I thought you might like to.
It's so nice here.
Hey, what was that camp you were
talking to me about this morning?
You said it was some very special trailer
park you wanted to stay in tonight.
- You passed it an hour ago.
- I did?
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't notice.
Oh, well, there'll be a lot more, I guess.
Good evening.
Could you tell us where we could find
a trailer park around here?
You passed the best one in the country
a couple hundred miles back.
- Nothing else around, huh?
- Not a thing, bud.
You want to go back?
Two hundred miles?
I'll tell you what you can do.
I'm closing up
and you're welcome to park here.
Two dollars for the night and you
can plug into my electric current.
Okay. Thank you.
If you're hungry,
find something in the icebox.
- What are you doing?
- I'm going to sleep in the living room.
- You're not gonna do any such thing.
- Oh, no?
No.
If anybody's gonna sleep there, I will.
Please, let's not be any more childish
about this than is necessary.
I would prefer sleeping here.
So if you don't mind,
will you take your things and get out?
Just as you wish.
Nicky! Nicky!
- Nicky, don't let's ever fight again.
- No, sweetheart.
Nicky, you know...? You know why
I think we had that awful fight?
Why we have arguments?
We drive too long.
We get to a place tired and hungry...
...and we have to wait
for me to get dinner ready.
Well, honey, then all we have to do
is just eat in restaurants.
You know that half the time
there just aren't any restaurants.
- No, I have a better idea.
- What's that, honey?
Tomorrow afternoon...
...about half an hour before
we want to have our dinner...
...I'll go back in the trailer
and get everything ready.
And then you pull into some nice spot...
...and by the time you get
the wheels blocked and get washed up...
...I'll have dinner on the table.
I'm hungry already.
Smells wonderful. What are we having?
- Ragout of beef.
- Ragout of beef!
- Angel food cake with fresh strawberries.
- Oh, boy!
- And caesar salad.
- Oh, I make a wonderful caesar salad.
Let me crumble the Roquefort cheese.
I got a...
Roquefort? Only boors use Roquefort.
You use aged, grated Parmesan.
Now, come on, honey.
Get out of here, will you?
I have a lot to do.
Oh, listen, can I cut the greens for you?
You don't cut the greens.
You tear them.
Now get out of here, will you, please?
I have a lot to do.
- Now, stop that!
- Sorry.
Oh, listen. If you need anything,
just rap at the front window.
Yes, dear. Yes, I will.
Nicky! It isn't going to work!
Nicky!
Nicky!
Nicky!
Nicky!
Nicky!
Well?
- You're on the wrong side of the street.
- That's all right, dear. Come on, now.
Take it easy, now. Be careful.
There you are.
- You're double-parked.
- Yes, I know, honey. Don't worry.
Now, look. I'll be back
at the caf in one hour.
Will you be all right?
Love this stuff.
My mother used to make it.
I still remember
what the kitchen smelled like.
It was so wonderful.
Oh, here he is at last.
The coffee, please.
Wasn't I lucky?
The waitress said she had piccalilli.
Makes it with her own tomatoes
and things, so I got a dozen jars.
- Thank you.
- Surely.
Tacy, I was talking to a fellow
in the parking lot.
He made me an offer on the trailer.
A thousand dollars.
He takes over the payments
and everything.
He'd pay us today, cash.
Where were you planning for us to live?
In a house, like human beings.
Something that is fastened
to the ground...
...that doesn't quiver every time
you take a step.
Something that we don't have to drag...
...every place we go,
like a couple of turtles.
I think you're terrible.
Talking about selling our home.
Oh, for heaven's sakes, Tacy.
Don't tell me you were thinking of
staying there after all that's happened.
Look at you. You can't walk,
you're bruised from head to foot...
That wasn't the trailer's fault.
I had no right to be back there.
The girls told me it's against the law...
...for anyone to ride in the back
of a trailer while it's moving.
- You could have been arrested for that.
- I could have been arrested?
They won't let you put
any living thing back there.
Not a cat, or a dog, or even a canary,
much less your wife.
- I put you back there? I was the one...?
- You certainly did.
Now, you listen to me. You...
You see what I mean?
That's all we've been doing
since we bought that... That thing.
Fighting, fighting, fighting.
I'm not fighting.
I'm just trying to tell you.
Besides, it isn't your trailer, it's mine.
You have no right to sell it.
I am the one who has to haul it.
And let me tell you something.
It's been one long nightmare.
Worrying about will the brakes hold.
Are the signals working?
Are we going to make that hill?
Is it boiling over?
I don't care. I won't sell it.
I don't care what you say.
We'd be fools. We're almost there.
We got 1000 miles to go yet!
Well, I don't care. I won't sell it.
I love it. I love it!
Well...
...at least I know where I stand.
You finished?
- Nicky?
- Yes?
The piccalilli.
Nicky?
Nicky, darling, it's awfully late.
Aren't you ever coming to bed, dear?
Tacy, come here.
I want to show you something.
I've been figuring tomorrow's run.
If you can call it a run.
Now, you see that? That figure?
Eight thousand.
Eight thousand?
That's a good-sized little town.
They'll have a nice trailer park there.
That is not population. It's elevation.
That mountain is 8000 feet.
- That's high, isn't it?
- Yeah. Too high for us.
Oh, I wouldn't worry.
They said it would take mountains.
Look, Tacy, that was before,
when this thing weighed 3 tons.
Heaven knows what it weighs now.
You collected a ton of rocks...
...and another ton of all this stuff
you've been canning.
It's all got to go.
- What do you mean?
- I mean I want you to get rid...
...of all this stuff before we start
that climb tomorrow.
You can get the manager
to help carry them out.
Well, I won't do it. I just won't.
I think that's perfectly ridiculous.
Look, Tacy, I will not haul this trailer
one inch until all this stuff is out.
- Where you going?
- I'm going to the garage.
They're gonna work on the car
all night, check on everything.
I'll be back after a while.
Don't wait up for me.
Mr. Ludlow,
what was the name on that one?
"Dinosaur National Monument."
That's one of my favorites.
I can't let that go.
Would you bring it back again, please?
Yes, ma'am.
- Only eliminated four so far.
- Well...
Bridge of the Gods.
Snake River.
Oh, it's just too much to ask.
Every one of them reminds me
of some wonderful place we've been.
Now, to throw them away
just like they're another bunch of rocks.
I just can't do it. I just can't do it.
Mrs. Collini, you'll find wonderful
rocks in Colorado.
- Why, when we were there...
- I know. But this isn't the same.
You see, we're on our honeymoon
and everything, you know...
I think Nicky's being unreasonable.
I thought a trailer was like a boat.
The more weight it carried,
the better it would ride. Isn't that true?
Well, in a way.
Can't you think of some way
that we can keep them?
- They're pretty heavy, you know.
- I know...
...but can't you think
of something, please?
Well...
...perhaps you could sort of
distribute them along each side.
Oh, I see. You mean distribute them
so that they'll carry the weight evenly.
- Is that it?
- Yeah.
Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
Will you help me?
I don't have much time.
We could put some down here.
You better tell your husband
so he'll know what to expect.
Oh, yeah. I'll tell him.
But later, you know.
Do you think I'll make this all right?
Sure. Remember what I told you
about the brakes.
You can't use
electrical brakes continuously.
If they burn out,
there's nothing to hold you.
Better keep stopping to cool them off,
if the road isn't too steep.
- What if the road is too steep?
- In that case...
...just nose the car into the bank
and jackknife the trailer to stop.
Unless the road is too narrow.
Then you're better off...
Wait a minute.
Suppose the road is too narrow?
Well, you gotta use your own judgment
when you get there. Feel out the terrain.
Look, is there any other road
that I can take instead of this one?
Well, yeah. You could
take the route around here...
...but that's a 500-mile detour, and
the road is in bad shape since the flood.
The bridge was washed out.
You'll be all right.
Just keep your nerves steady.
Thanks.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Did you get rid of all the rocks
and things?
Yes.
- Okay. Let's go, then.
- Okay.
- I'll lock it.
- Thanks.
Tacy?
I guess I was kind of rough on you last
night, but you understand, don't you?
Sure. I understand.
Well, at least we have a nice day for it.
- How do you mean?
- I mean the weather and all.
Oh, oh, yes. Yes, it's a fine day.
As a matter of fact, I was thinking a
while back there that it was a fine day...
...for it.
Did you finish your book?
What book?
The book you were reading.
That book.
Did you finish it?
No.
- Didn't finish it, huh?
- What?
The book.
No.
Halfway through it,
I found out that we'd seen the movie.
So I didn't finish it.
They didn't make a movie out of that,
did they?
Well, they didn't call it that.
They changed the title.
They called it The Something...
The Something...
Was it the Golden-something?
No, no. Nothing like that.
It was the one with the...
What's his name?
You know,
the actor that was married...
...to the beautiful brunette girl
that likes squirrels?
Michael Wilding.
Was it with the fellow
who wore his shoes on his knees?
No. No.
Then there was this big party scene...
...where she threw the drink in his face.
Then this woman...
- Which woman?
- The other woman.
Not the one
who didn't know the brother.
You mean the one
who knew the brother?
Yeah.
Well, this woman came in
who had met the brother...
...but didn't know
where the brother was.
And then the girl told them
about the brother...
...and then there was this big...
- Thank heavens we made it.
- Yeah. Now we got to get down.
I didn't mean to lie to you, Nicky.
But they mean so much to me, Nicky.
Nick! Nicky! Nicky, stop it!
Stop it! Oh, Nicky, please don't, please!
We made it. Nothing happened.
Nicky, please! Please don't! Stop it!
Nicky, I'll never speak to you again
as long as I live!
Nicky! Nicky! Nicky!
I'll never know how
I got the trailer down that mountain.
It was a nightmare.
We didn't say a word to each other.
That night, I got in my car and drove
away, trying to get it out of my system.
When I came back, the trailer was gone.
My wife was gone.
You know, they say
that most marriages that break up...
...break up in the first three years.
- In a trailer, it's the speed-up system.
- I would have thought you were lucky...
...starting off life
in an up-to-the-minute thing like that.
I remember when Mother
and I were married.
We lived in a two-room shack.
No heat, kerosene lamps.
We had to go outside
to wash our hands.
Well, sir, we fought
like two cats in a bag...
...and we'd have split up for sure
that first winter if it hadn't been so cold.
We had to make up,
or we'd have froze to death.
And you know the funny thing?
Any fight we ever had
would've been patched up...
...if either of us could have brought
ourselves to say two words.
Just two words: "I'm sorry."
You've no idea the way it works.
I'll bet if you went to her
and said, "I'm sorry..."
Sorry? Sorry for what?
She's the one.
She should come crawling on her knees.
You realize she could have killed
the two of us?
She and her rocks
and her raspberry jams.
Why, there's Mrs. Tewitt now.
I'll be in the trailer.
Joe, the freezer fits. Isn't it wonderful?
Come on, I'll show you where it goes.
Not just now. Wait a minute.
Would it be asking too much if I took my
clothes, or do they go with the trailer?
I've already sent them express,
care of the project.
I'll send your money there too.
- Money?
- The money for the trailer.
The trailer is yours. I gave it to you.
Well, under the circumstances,
of course, I couldn't accept it.
I'll just keep enough money
to get me home, that's all.
- Now, if you'll excuse me...
- Tacy, I'd like to say something.
I...
I'm...
Yes?
Well...
I better go.
Nicky! Nicky!
Nicky! Nicky! Nicky!
- Nicky, I'm sorry! l...
- No, honey, no. Don't say it.
- Don't. Let me say it, honey.
- I'm sorry.
- I should never have made you get that...
- No, honey. It wasn't...
- Looks like we don't get a trailer.
- Well, not this one.
Tacy! It's me, Nicky! Are you here?
Tacy!
Tacy!
Tacy! Ta...
Are you the manager?
- Why, no. The manager...
- Where is he? Do you know?
Well, that's hard to say.
It seems a little girl in one of the trailers
lost her cat.
He's out trying to find it.
Is there anything I can do?
- No, I'm looking for some people.
- You'd better wait inside.
You won't miss anyone.
They've all got to pass right here.
It's real rainy, isn't it?
Yeah.
Like this to read? I get a great kick
out of these trailer magazines.
- Don't let me disturb you.
- Oh, that's all right.
You a trailerite?
- Yeah.
- Looks like I'm gonna be one too.
I had a time persuading my wife.
She was dead set against it.
Says it's too late in life
for us to start being gypsies.
But we've been looking
at one tonight.
A young lady wants to sell.
And I think it's done the trick.
The two of them
are back at the house now...
...measuring will the Deepfreeze fit in.
You know, my wife won't move
without that Deepfreeze.
Say, what kind of a motor
is the New Moon?
- Would you know?
- Rig.
You want to sound like an old-timer,
you call it a rig.
- Rig?
- The New Moon's fine.
Well, this one's practically new.
The young lady said it's only gone
some 7000 miles.
- Is that so?
- She feels terrible about selling it...
...but her plans changed.
She has to go back to her family.
- You been married long?
- Thirty-one years.
You get along all right?
No fights? No battles?
- Why, no.
- Then don't buy a trailer.
I'm telling you, don't buy a trailer.
That young lady with the trailer,
that's my wife.
My wife! I've been looking for her
for three days.
I've been to the police,
I've been to the highway patrol.
I must've gone to a hundred trailer
parks. Everything I own is in that trailer.
I haven't got a clean shirt.
I haven't got a change of clothes.
That's what can happen
when you buy a trailer.
I'm telling you, it's a fine thing...
...when you come home to your home,
and your home is gone.
If you told me two months ago
that I'd be fool enough to buy a trailer...
...I would have told you
you were crazy.
Absolutely out of your mind.
They were a joke to me.
A great big joke!
A trailer!
Oh, Tacy.
Oh, that's very funny, honey.
The Collinis are home.
Please drop in for cocktails.
You'll find us someplace
along the Lincoln Highway.
Or better yet, stay where you are.
We'll bring our house to you.
Hey, you know, you could get a
tambourine and I'll get a dancing bear...
...and we could clean up.
Honey, you're crying.
Did I say something wrong?
Did I say something to offend you?
No. I don't blame you for laughing.
It's a ridiculous idea.
But then I guess
I'm pretty ridiculous myself.
Thank heaven you found it out...
...before you made
the horrible mistake of marrying me.
Oh, honey, what on earth
are you talking about?
I'm just a figure of fun, a clown.
Oh, now, sweetheart, let's get this thing
straightened out right now.
Now, look at me, Tacy.
I wouldn't make fun of you, ever.
I'm the fellow who loves you, remember?
What is this about a trailer?
You mean,
you were seriously thinking of...
All I was thinking of
was making a home for my husband.
A little place we could call our own
where I could take care of him...
...cook for him
and make him comfortable.
If that's a horrible offense...
...if that makes me a criminal,
then I'm terribly sorry.
I apologize. I withdraw the whole idea.
Honey, can we talk this over calmly?
We'll have a home, darling.
What kind of a home when
your work takes you all those places?
- Colorado, Montana, Idaho...
- All right, then.
All right, we won't go to Colorado.
I'll get another job.
Oh, no. I didn't mean that.
This is a wonderful chance for you.
Anyway, it'll always
be something like that.
If it isn't a tunnel in Colorado...
...it'll be a bridge in Alaska...
...or a dam across the Pacific.
- Something off somewhere.
- I didn't know you felt...
We'll always be living out of suitcases
and using other people's things.
Living in some stale little hotel
or some grubby furnished room.
But don't you see? If we had a trailer...
...no matter where we went,
I could make a home for you.
When the job was over, we could hitch
up our house and go on to the next.
Now, look, honey.
Now let's get down to facts.
First of all, the kind of a trailer
that you're thinking about...
...probably costs a fortune.
Now, you know what our budget
is for the first year.
"Travel, honeymoon..."
Here it is, rent.
I know, $ 1700. All right.
Now, for only $ 100 more,
do you know what we could have?
Have you any conception?
We could have this beautiful home.
Only $ 1800, and that's complete,
mind you.
Everything is included. All this furniture.
Chairs, sofa, bed, stove, refrigerator,
shower bath, everything.
Absolutely everything,
right down to coat hangers in the closet.
You don't have to buy a thing.
Did you ever see anything as beautiful?
Well, it's kind of roomy at that.
- Wonderful closet space.
- Where?
That's the living room.
Oh. Well, it's convenient.
Everything is right there within easy...
You know, Nicky...
...what I was thinking about most of all
was our honeymoon.
Can't you just imagine
what it would be like?
Some of the most
beautiful country in the world...
...is between here and Colorado.
The whole trip
would be just like a dream.
We'd go where we pleased
when we pleased.
If we saw a beautiful spot
beside a brook or a mountain lake...
...a lovely wood, we'd stop there
and we'd be all alone.
It'd all be for us.
The moonlight and the sunsets...
...and the sound
of the tree toads far off...
The night the trailer show opened,
there was no holding Tacy.
Pardon me, but could you tell me
where the Bungalette trailer is?
Bungalette.
Oh, this is it, right here.
Thank you.
It's all right.
You know, we could put
some built-in gun racks right here.
Yeah.
- Both sides.
- I don't know. What's this business here?
Oh, excuse me, chum.
I thought my cap might...
Excuse me, l...
Pardon me. I want to get my cap
over here, lady, please.
- Excuse me. I'm so sorry.
- It's all right.
Pardon me, please. Pardon me.
But you know, it's pretty compact.
Oh, I'm so disappointed I could cry.
It looked enormous in the ads.
It was such a wonderful idea.
Well, don't worry, sweetheart.
We'll have a home.
We'll just have to wait a while,
that's all.
And then we saw it.
- Isn't it a beauty?
- Yeah, it's big, all right.
Let's look inside, just for fun.
Now, Tacy, that thing
must cost $ 1 million, at least.
Oh, I didn't mean
we'd ever think of buying it.
I know we could never do that.
But as long as we're here,
let's just look inside. Come on, darling.
What happened, darling?
Nothing, I just cracked my skull,
that's all.
Isn't it lovely?
So new and fresh and pretty.
Oh, look, glass in the oven
so you don't have to open it to look in.
Come on, honey,
let's look back here. Come on.
Do you see
this wonderful shower, honey?
Could I show you some of the features
of our trailer?
- No, no, we're just looking. Thank you.
- Thank you just the same.
- Did you see the linen closet?
- Yes, fine...
Oh, Nicky. Honey, be careful.
What's that step doing there?
That's a sunken living room.
It's just like a lovely little house.
Oh, Nicky, isn't it wonderful?
You couldn't ask for anything
more than this, could you?
- I'm gonna ask how much it is.
- Now, Tacy.
Just for fun.
Oh, pardon me.
l... I know we couldn't possibly
afford it...
...but could you tell me
the price of this trailer?
Yes. It's $5345.
I was afraid of something like that.
Of course, you wouldn't
have to pay that all at once.
- All you'd have to do is put down a third.
- Thank you very much.
That's $ 1750, isn't it?
- Approximately, yes.
- Thank you.
Did you hear that, Nicky?
Seventeen-fifty. That's $50 less
than the one we can't even stand up in.
It couldn't be 1750. That must be what
you give him for the down payment.
That's what I say, 1750.
Oh, let's get it, Nicky, please.
- What?
- I'll save, I promise.
I won't spend a cent
on anything again as long as I live.
Only I just want to have
this for our home.
Honey, we could do it, couldn't we?
We wouldn't have to pay any rent.
I'll cook all of our meals. Honest I will.
We won't have to go
to any restaurants or hotels.
Honey, there won't be any bellboys
to bother us, no tips.
Well, just think of the money that
we could save on our honeymoon alone.
Ten minutes later, I started saving it.
And $ 160 for state tax...
...and $ 73 for registration, license fee
and payment on the insurance.
That makes a grand total of $ 1932.22.
- And 22 cents?
- That's right.
Ever hauled a house trailer before?
- No, we've never...
- Well, if I were you...
...I'd have a professional
haul it to Colorado.
Oh, no. That's gonna be half the fun.
You're gonna haul it yourself, huh?
Maybe I'd better take a look at your car.
My car?
Better get a heavier car.
Be a big saving in the end.
Let's see. We'll allow you $400
for your old car.
And that plus 900 cash,
makes 1300 as down payment.
Okay?
Look, are you sure that this car
is heavy enough to pull a trailer?
Absolutely.
Of course, you have to have a hitch
welded to the bottom of your car.
A hitch, huh?
How much would that cost?
Oh, we don't do that here.
- You'll have to go to an expert.
- I see. Where am I gonna find an expert?
Excelsior Trailer Repair.
They're the best people in town...
We now had a new car, a new trailer...
...and mortgages of $ 7646.
We don't just weld the hitch to your car,
we bolt it on in three places:
The forward member,
the rear member, under your bumper.
Hey, Joe, here... Here it is.
Bring it over here.
You're getting the best hitch
on the market today.
This is the ball. It engages securely
to the socket in the slip dolly...
...which prevents a lot of...
- Just a minute. Slip dolly?
Oh, sure, sure. Come here. Here.
Here it is. Come over here.
Now, this is the B6 four-wheel model.
It's $ 170 extra plus tax, but it's worth
it. It takes the weight of the trailer...
Wait a minute.
Do I have to have one of these things?
Cripes! Why, you can't afford
to be without that.
It was a question of
who 'd give out first:
Me or the money.
Block and tackle, just in case.
- In case of what?
- Just in case.
That'll be fine, now.
The little lady said she wanted the car
dropped off at her house.
- That's right.
- Sometimes you don't know what to do...
...with these things.
Try to figure them out...
Oh, no. You drive.
- Who, me?
- Sure, sure. Move over.
Nothing to it.
Now, these are your trailer brakes.
The most important thing
to remember is...
...when you stop, put your
trailer brakes on, or you'll jackknife.
- Jackknife?
- Yeah. You know, trailer and car like this:
Saw it happen on a hill over here.
The trailer tipped over, took the car
down the canyon after it.
So, remember, trailer brakes first.
Trailer brakes first.
These are your blinker lights.
When you're gonna turn left
and turn right.
There's your stop light.
Put your blinker lights on.
Left. Right. Trailer brakes. Car brakes.
Lights. Left. Right.
Trailer brakes. Car brakes.
Okay, let's go. Ignition. Start it.
Take your brake off, put it in low,
go, boy!
We were moving.
I couldn 't be sure whether
I was pulling it, or it was pushing me.
You'll get the hang of it.
Just remember to allow for that
extra length behind you when you turn.
Always think of it as a train behind you.
Forty feet of train.
Those trailer brakes
are your best friends.
You take care of them,
and they'll take care of you.
They're electric brakes...
...actuated by a magnet
which is connected to the brake pad.
This magnet is always in contact
with the armature.
The armature is in contact
with the brake drum...
...and revolves with the wheel. Red light.
Red light! Trailer brake!
Look, just keep repeating to yourself:
"Trailer brakes first,
trailer brakes first."
- Make it your motto.
- Trailer brakes first.
Okay, green light. Go, boy.
Don't get nervous.
You'll get the hang of it.
Get into the left-hand lane.
Ease her over a little more.
Put out your arm.
No, not your head, your arm!
Look out for the truck!
Trailer brake!
Always remember, trailer brakes first!
Trailer brakes first!
A few days before the wedding...
...the trailer was being packed
under Tacy's calm supervision.
Oh, my. Let us in, we've got more.
I was still in a state of shock.
I couldn 't get those trailer brakes
out of my mind.
Oh, Nicky, you poor lamb!
You're not going to be able
to get those things in there.
You're just gonna have to strip down
to the bare essentials.
What do we do with these, Tacy?
Put them in the blanket closet in there.
- Well, here I am.
- Oh, hi, darling.
Well, honey, put them under the bed
or something.
We'll have to find someplace
to put them. I can't find a place to put...
We're gonna need a trailer
for the trailer.
Tacy, what shall I do with these towels
marked "his"?
Put them over here with the ones
marked "hers."
- Tacy!
- What?
That thing can't ride there.
That's dangerous.
Now, just relax, dear.
I had Mr. Jackson make a little wedge,
and it's perfectly in place.
- What about these boxes?
- Make sure there's nothing in...
Excuse me, dear. Excuse me, Nicky.
It's absolute chaos. Excuse me.
- Tacy! Tacy! Come here, quick!
- What's the matter?
This is a madhouse!
Trailer brakes! Red light! Green light!
Trailer brakes! Red light!
What happened?
Oh, honey, what did you do?
I had everything arranged.
Look, do we have to have
all of this stuff?
Of course, dear.
Wouldn't one casserole be enough?
One casserole?
For souffls, for sauces, for pot roast?
- Really, dear.
- I'm sorry.
I need everything here. You can't set up
housekeeping and expect to rough it.
Forget that I said anything. I don't
want to argue. I'm a little nervous.
Nicky, are you still holding those?
Put them in the bedroom closet.
No, honey, you go to the closet
in the hall.
I saved it just for you. Right in there.
- Every one of them, I want to make sure...
- In the dresser.
Geraldine, which closet
did Tacy tell me to take?
Tacy, which closet
did you have saved for Nicky?
Tacy, I can't find the other set of linens.
On top of that big silver box.
Honey, I told you the hall closet.
Well, the hall closet is full of your things.
Oh, well, put your things
there temporarily.
Come on, we've got to shift this thing
around. I've got to change everything.
- Excuse me...
- Look out!
Trailer brakes! Red light! Green light!
Trailer brakes! Red light!
Tacy, I know what the trouble is.
They sent two sets of towels.
Oh, no, that means two sets of linen,
two sets of towels...
- Excuse me, please.
...two sets of everything!
What did I tell you? I told you that!
And then, for a while,
I forgot all about the trailer.
Oh, the stuff went every which way
and I was coming in!
Oh, I just...
Yes. I know what you mean.
- Goodbye!
- Goodbye!
- Goodbye!
- Have a nice time!
- Say goodbye. Say goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye!
- Bye, Nicky.
Goodbye!
I'm gonna miss you!
Let's get out of here.
- and don't catch cold at night.
It's gets so cold.
What's the matter?
There's something wrong with the...
Bye!
Bye, everyone!
For heaven's sake, Nicky, come on.
I'm trying to come on.
This keeps dying off. I don't know.
Goodbye!
No, they're not, it's the car!
Come on.
Come on.
Can't we go any faster?
I guess we can, but I'm afraid to.
- Why?
- It scares me.
It scares you? Why?
I don't know why.
It just scares me, that's all.
Yeah, may all your troubles
be little ones!
- Who was that?
- How should I know?
What's the matter with everybody?
- What are they yelling at?
- I don't know.
Oh, they must have put
a sign on the back.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
Well, then, stop. Stop and take it off.
You can't stop one of these things
on the highway.
Well, can't you pull over?
There is no place to pull.
Oh, I can't stand it, Nicky. Please stop.
Look, you talk as if this was a car.
This is a freight train. Forty feet of train.
There's a place to stop.
I can't stop on a curve.
- Watch out for the red light.
- I know.
Watch out! You're going through it!
- I can't...
- Stop! What's the matter?
It won't stop! I don't know.
- Watch out.
- Oh, trailer brake!
Everybody's looking at it.
Oh, honey, watch it.
- What's the matter?
- I don't know.
Thank you so very much.
Tacy, will you get the map
out of the glove compartment, please?
Yep.
I've got to turn here somewhere
if I remember right.
We've got to get on Highway 101.
- Find the right map?
- Yeah, I got it.
Oh, they print these things
all upside down.
- Can you see it?
- Yeah, here it is.
Be sure to tell me when we get there.
Turn right here!
No, no, no! What are you doing?
- I'm turning right!
- But you're going the wrong way.
You should have been
on that road that turned left.
You told me to turn right.
I didn't tell you to turn right.
You said, "Turn right here,"
and I turned right.
You didn't let me finish!
I was trying to tell you to turn left.
What I was trying to say is,
you turn right here, left.
- "Turn right here, left"?
- Exactly.
Have you any conception how much
room it takes to turn this thing around?
We may have to go on
for miles and miles.
Only a couple of more miles,
and we'll be there.
Wait till you see
what I have for your dinner.
Don't tell me
you're going to cook dinner.
I certainly am.
I've got it all planned.
You're gonna take your shower...
...and by the time you've finished,
I'll have dinner ready.
Oh, Nicky, won't it be wonderful?
Our first dinner in our own little home.
- Hey!
- What? What happened?
I almost forgot. I didn't give you
your wedding present yet.
Look there in the glove compartment.
The envelope.
"Mrs. Nicholas Collini." Oh, honey.
Go on, look inside.
What is it?
Well, I always read where
you put the house in your wife's name...
...so there you are. The trailer is yours.
Oh, Nicky, honey! Oh, baby! Thank you!
Oh, that's just wonderful.
- Mr. and Mrs. Collini?
- That's right.
Well, now.
Welcome to Breezeway Trailer Park.
- Thank you.
- I have your space waiting for you.
You don't have to do a thing.
Just step inside and register.
I'll horse your rigging
and get you all hooked up.
- Oh, thanks.
- You're quite welcome.
Mr. Lawfield, lot 33...
...call your mother at her home.
Mrs. Morley, lot 12...
...special delivery for you
at the park office.
Mr. Carmel, lot 21...
...we have a package for you.
- Anything wrong?
- Wrong?
I mean the missus.
She... She turned her ankle.
On that concrete block, I bet.
You poor darling. Don't worry.
I know what to do.
Bring me a pail of hot water
and that bag of Epsom salts.
- Here, let me help.
- Please, I can manage all right.
You can't get her through that way.
Please let me down.
I can walk these few steps.
You'll do nothing of the sort.
Give me her feet.
- I know how to manage this.
- Is someone hurt?
- Broke her ankle.
- Oh, isn't that too bad?
This is Miss Dudley. She's the
big Airway Vagabond next door.
- How do you do?
- How do you do, Mrs. Vagabond?
Now, easy does it. Easy does it there.
Look out. Low bridge.
Where do you want her? On the bed?
Please, I feel fine. Really, I do.
Gentle there.
Gentle, gentle now, don't hurt her.
There we are. Which one is it?
- The left.
- The right.
- Oh, yeah, the left, the left.
- Emma! We're out of Epsom salts...
...but the lady in the Zimmer 36
is bringing some.
We've got to get you off your foot.
You come back here, I'll fix you up.
- Come in, Maude.
- I brought the Epsom salts.
- Ladies, this is Miss Barrett.
- Nick Collini, Mrs. Collini.
- How do you do?
- I'm pleased to meet you.
Oh, golly, what a beautiful rig this is.
Will you look at these drapes?
Not now, Maude.
We've got to make this girl comfortable.
Now, Miss Dudley, you take that arm,
Maude, you take that one.
Now, easy, easy.
Don't let her step on it. Take it easy.
Easy, girls. Now watch that step.
Watch that step! Watch it, watch it!
Give me it! Give me that.
I got the hot water.
Oh, Mrs. Hittaway is a wonder!
Any sickness or trouble,
why, she's there before the doctor.
Mr. Collini!
Hey, I hear you had a nasty accident.
Oh, it was really nothing, Nothing at all.
How about seeing a doctor?
We got a doctor on row 3.
Really, it's not necessary.
You're very kind.
Those kids haven't had supper.
Run over and bring the casserole.
- Do her good to have some munchables.
- We wouldn't think of it.
You go right ahead, Joe.
I'd like to know what a trailerite's good
for, if it's not to help another trailerite!
- What did you say?
- I say, you towed her far?
No, we haven't been traveling
very much lately.
- Nice rig, very good rig.
- Thank you.
I'm a Kozy-Coach man myself.
That's a good rig too.
Towed her over 7000 miles.
Well, that's not saying
that this isn't a good rig too. It is.
Thank you. Thank you.
Excuse me, please. Excuse me.
- Here you are, sir.
- Mr. Collini. Do you mind?
- I want the husband and kids to see this.
- Sure.
This is my husband Carl,
and this is Nick Collini.
Oh, look, darling! Look at this!
Is this really living?
Next year, we're gonna trade in
our Airway Zephyr and get a new one.
Well, I lived in a house in town
for 15 years.
I never did get to know some of my
neighbors, even after 15 years.
But in a trailer park,
you get to know everyone right off.
Yeah, you certainly do.
- Is my wife here?
- Here I am, baby.
I've been looking all over for you.
- I want you to meet my husband.
- How you do?
Pop? That's all I got left, pop.
No, just plain water.
Folks, do you know
what time it is? 11:30.
I'm sorry.
- Outside.
- Thank you. Good night. Well, well, well.
That's the fine thing
about trailer life.
Everybody bobs up
at one place or another.
There were people
we met in Miami...
Save it, Joe! Here, take this.
Don't worry about your wife. She's
gonna be right as rain in the morning.
I gave her a sleeping pill.
Bye, now.
Mrs. Jack Wood, lot 15.
Please call your children.
Mrs. Jack Wood, lot 15.
Please call your children.
They are running wild
in the park flowerbed.
Mr. Lawfield, lot 33.
Call your mother at her...
Well, don't tell me
you finally decided to wake up?
- Good morning, darling.
- Good morning.
What happened?
I haven't slept like that in my life.
What did they put in that bath?
Mrs. Hittaway decided it would be a
wonderful idea to give you a sleeping pill.
A sleeping...? Oh, fine.
Mr. Lawfield, lot 33.
Call your mother...
- Noisy here, isn't it?
- Yeah, it sure is.
We better get out of here
before the next delegation comes in.
You know, Nicky, we don't
have to stay in these trailer parks.
We can go anywhere we want to.
We've got wheels.
Why don't we just go along
until we find a nice place...
...and just stop there
and stay as long as we like?
Well, you won't have
no electricity, no refrigerator.
- No lights, no heater...
- I don't care.
You won't have any hot
and cold running water.
I don't care.
We got gas to cook by.
That's all that matters.
Oh, Nicky, let's do it.
It would just be wonderful.
Some lovely spot in the forest,
just you and me all alone.
You know something?
- Sounds wonderful to me.
- Me too.
Oh, there's a nice little forest road.
Yeah.
Oh, Nicky. It's all my fault.
Oh, now, don't be crazy. I was the one.
- I should have known better.
- What are we gonna do?
Well, we'll take the car
and go into town...
...and in the morning
I'll come back with a tow car.
You mean,
just go away and leave it?
- Leave our trailer?
- Certainly.
Oh, no, no.
I couldn't do that. I just couldn't.
Well, nobody will go by here.
This is an old logging road.
I can't go and leave
this beautiful new trailer...
...with all of our wedding
presents in it and our clothes.
Well, why can't we stay here?
Why can't we stay here all night?
Oh, Nicky, please?
- Okay.
- Give me the keys.
Now you turn on the gas
and I'll have dinner before you know it.
Gas.
"For overnight parking,
select an attractive trailer park.
The park attendant will
help you get your coach in position...
...and as soon as utilities
are attached to coach...
...you can turn on the refrigerator
and the water heater...
...shop for food and start eating."
Nicky, I can't open the door.
The other one doesn't work either.
Well, let me try it.
Oh, Nicky, it's starting to rain.
Naturally.
No, no, no! Now, don't hurt it.
- Don't hurt it?
- No.
- Get the flashlight, will you?
- Okay.
Oh, good. You got it open.
I won't unpack.
I'll just get out what we need for dinner.
Okay.
It's a good thing
we didn't have dinner last night.
Now I have everything
in the casserole.
Pull.
And all I have to do is...
...heat it up.
Oh, dear.
Oh, well, don't worry.
I'll fix something, honey.
Here's your favorite cheese.
And I'll fix some eggs
and make some nice hot coffee.
I'll go outside and get the jack
and try to level this thing up a little.
All right.
- I'm sorry, honey.
- That's all right.
While you're out there,
will you turn on the gas?
Okay.
- Okay!
- Oh, just a minute.
Okay.
Yes, sir.
Now for the pice de rsistance.
Isn't this fun, honey?
What more can you ask?
A hunk of cheese, jug of wine
and thou beside me in the "wild-erness."
Beside me where?
- The wild-erness.
- "In the wild-erness."
- Take a straw.
- Thanks.
Nicky, you know what
made me fall in love with you?
Because of the way
I drive a trailer?
My velvety eyes?
My elegant nose?
No. It was the first time I ever saw you.
At the celebration for the opening
of the new freeway, remember?
We were all at the beach.
And you never looked at me.
I did too.
You were being very gay,
making a pass at some girl.
And suddenly I noticed that one of the
buttons was off the front of your shirt.
And I just wanted to cry,
I felt so sorry for you.
I thought of you living all alone in hotels
and boarding houses in strange cities...
...and no one to sew your buttons on.
Right then, I made up my mind
that I was gonna marry you.
I was gonna marry you
and take care of you.
That's nice.
I was going to take care of you.
Now look what I've done.
Nicky?
What are you thinking about?
What are you thinking about?
I was wondering how the heck
they're gonna get this trailer out of here.
Hi.
I'll have your bed ready in a minute.
Sleepy boy.
Honey, don't you love
the sound of the rain on the roof?
Poor little baby.
You've had a busy day, haven't you?
What's the matter, honey?
Can't you sleep?
Now, let's see. Tow car, $20.
Two men, three hours, 21.50.
Washing car and trailer, $5.00.
Total, 46.50.
Let's call it an even 46.
Well, that's very kind of you.
There you are.
- Thank you and call again.
- You're welcome.
Thank you, sir.
Was it terribly expensive?
No more than if we had
a suite at the Waldorf.
Oh, dear.
Never mind. We won't be
spending money for a week...
...visiting Aunt Anastacia in Bridgewood.
Thank heavens.
Now, this is my father's side.
His two sisters,
Aunt Anastacia and Aunt Ellen.
She lives two houses down.
- Thank her for her present.
- What was it?
The luggage that we couldn't take back
because it was monogrammed.
- Oh, yeah.
- And Aunt Anastacia, of course.
She hasn't given our present yet.
She said it's gonna be a check.
I'm her namesake, so it should be
a fat one. Hundred dollars at least.
- Well, I married an heiress.
- Oh, pooh.
Then there's the twins, Dottie and Kay.
You met them at the wedding
and the boys and...
- Oh, yes. Poor Grace.
- Poor Grace?
She's Aunt Anastacia's daughter.
And I forgot Uncle Edgar.
Oh, there it is.
There's the house.
There they are. Hi.
Hey, Tacy.
Hi, honey.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, darling.
Aunt Ellen!
Oh, and, Grace.
How nice to see you, dear.
Oh, and the twins.
Look how they've grown!
I just wouldn't know you. Dottie?
Oh, I'm wrong.
- Oh, Tommy.
- Oh, darling.
How wonderful to be here,
I just can't tell...
And this...
And this is Nicky.
- Aunt Anastacia.
- How do you do?
And Uncle Edgar.
- Nicholas.
- How do you do?
- And this is Aunt Ellen.
- How do you do?
- And my Uncle Bill.
- How are you?
And Aunt Ellen's family.
Dottie and Kay, the twins.
You met them at the wedding.
I never can tell them apart.
- And this is Jody.
- Joe.
Oh, Joe. That's right.
I gotta remember.
- And this is little Tommy.
- Hello, Tommy.
- Glad to know you.
- How about that face?
- Grace.
- Oh, and poor... And Grace.
How do you do? Glad to know you.
My, I never saw anything so big.
- Imagine dragging a thing like that.
- Look at that. It's enormous.
I don't see how you ever
had the courage to pull that.
- It would scare me to death.
- Oh, it's nothing, really.
Don't you believe it.
He's a wonderful driver.
You have to be to haul that.
- Oh, now, Tacy.
- Well, you are. You know you are.
You should see him
going through towns and everything.
How much would a thing
like that weigh?
- Oh, a little over 3 tons.
- Three tons!
- Imagine pulling 3 tons.
- Weren't you scared?
Well, I'll be honest, the first 100 miles...
First 50 miles...
...I was a little nervous, but after you
get the hang of it, there's nothing to it.
Nothing to it at all.
You know, I daresay a thing
like that is pretty expensive.
Oh, 5000. Six thousand with the extra,
but that's not really expensive.
No. You have to think of it as a home.
And where could you find
a home, fully equipped, for $6000?
- Can we go in?
- Can we see what it looks like inside?
Well, not just now, kids.
I'll have to stabilize it first.
He has to stabilize it.
Hook it down so it doesn't jiggle.
We thought you could put
it there in front of the garage.
That way you could hook in
on the electricity.
Oh, that's very good, yes.
- Just back it in.
- Yes...
- Back it in?
- Yeah.
That way you can have use of the car.
Oh, sure. Of course. Yes.
Well, here goes.
You're going to be his family now,
all of you.
I know he's gonna love you,
and I hope you're gonna love him.
- Of course we are.
- I'm sure we will.
"To back a trailer coach...
...place your hand at the bottom
of the steering wheel.
Move your hand right, counterclockwise,
to back the trailer to your right."
Counterclockwise.
"Move your hand to the left, clockwise,
to back the trailer to your left."
Clockwise, left.
Counterclockwise, right.
Right, counterclockwise.
There...
Go, go! That way.
- Hold it!
- Do it that way.
Hold it! Hold it!
No, no! The other way!
Oh, Aunt Anastacia, this is terrible.
I'm so sorry.
It's all right. It doesn't matter.
I know what he's been doing wrong.
It'll be fine now.
- Pull forward!
- A little more to the right.
Turn the other way!
The other way!
My rose! My rose!
You tore down my rose
with your lousy, stinking trailer!
- What's the matter? This is awful.
- I don't know what's the matter.
Everybody's yelling at the same time.
I'm turning right, the guy says, "Turn
left. " I turn left, he says, "Turn right. "
- I read the book. Counterclockwise...
- Nicky!
Now sit down and be quiet.
You sit down and relax.
I'll take care of this.
Now listen, everybody. Quiet!
There's too many people
telling him what to do.
You're confusing this poor boy.
Only one person should give instructions.
Start the motor, darling.
Don't worry about a thing.
I want absolute silence, you hear?
Come on, darling.
Don't worry about a thing.
All right, now. Okay.
Now. Now go right back. Take it easy.
Now a little to the left.
Little to the left. That's right.
Take it easy. Now little bit to the right.
Straight back. Now, little to the left.
Little to the left. That's right.
Take it easy. Now straight back.
Right, straight. Straight back. That's it.
Straight, straight, stop!
Dear, you're all right.
Get back. All right, hold it now.
Stay right there.
I just wanna get lined up here.
Okay, okay. Come on, now.
But slowly. Take it easy.
Slowly, slowly. That's right.
That's right.
Straight. Straight.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Beautiful morning, isn't it?
- Yeah, great.
That certainly was a lovely dinner last
night, the bread pudding and all.
- Shame you have to rush off like this.
- Well...
Look, I wish you'd let me pay for that.
I would feel better.
No, we wouldn't think of it.
At least this one thing.
We won't take this present.
Oh, now, don't do that.
We insist on your having that.
- Don't we, Mother?
- You heard him, Edgar.
- lf it makes him feel better...
- It certainly does.
Well, we'll say goodbye again.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Bye.
- Goodbye.
You giving back that check.
I was gonna get us a Deepfreeze.
You're getting a deep freeze right now.
Look at those faces.
- You're a wonderful cook.
- Well, thank you.
I'll be a lot better
when I get to know that stove.
We'd better start eating those peaches
if you want to finish that whole lot.
Nicky. They're not for eating.
I'm gonna put them up.
- Up where?
- I'm gonna can them.
- Here in the trailer?
- You don't understand.
You have to grab these
when they're in season.
You wait till next winter.
We're gonna have peaches...
...and tomatoes and raspberries and...
Nicky, it isn't so bad here, is it?
You feel better about the trailer,
don't you?
I got news for you. You could make me
happy living in a cave.
Oh, I haven't even begun
to make you happy.
You're gonna have a real home.
Gonna find a place
for all your books and everything.
I'm gonna get a television set.
I think that's a good place,
over there.
Aren't you afraid you're gonna spoil me?
I like being pampered, you know.
I'm liable to get real lazy and...
What on earth is that?
Isn't it beautiful, darling?
- Our first rock.
- Our first what?
Put it down here, honey.
You see, what I thought,
we'd get a rock wherever we went.
When we get to Colorado,
we'll put them around the patio...
...and whenever we look at them,
we can think of the wonderful times.
Every one a memory, you know?
You're like a magpie building a nest.
Picking up a piece of straw here,
a thread there.
Be nice to me
or I'll take my trailer and go home.
Well, I'll tell you a secret. Your trailer
is no good without my car to haul it.
Like me. No good without you.
Keep thinking that.
- I thought you wanted this one.
- No. The other one.
- Pick up the other one.
- That one there?
- Yeah.
- All right.
This is a beauty.
Oh, look at that. Isn't that terrific?
Heavy, huh?
I wanna drive, Nicky.
Now, Tacy, that's one thing
that I can't let you do.
Oh, come on. Now, I'm a good driver.
I've been driving since I was 15.
And in Los Angeles.
What more could you ask?
Look, honey. This is something different.
You're pulling 3 tons. There's a trick.
I've been watching you. I know how.
Honey, stop this nonsense.
Come on, move over.
No, you ought to at least let me try.
What if you broke an arm or something?
Then I'd have to drive and you'd be sorry.
Okay.
- Careful!
- What's the matter, dear?
Don't ever take off like that!
You gotta remember, you've got 50 feet
of train behind you.
I know, dear. I know.
Now slow down.
You're going too fast, dear.
- Slow down.
- Yes, dear. Don't worry.
Hey, what are you doing?
You can't do that!
- You are over the white line.
- I know it, dear.
Have you lost your mind?
Get back, get back!
Just a minute.
Is that the Denver route mark?
You're going so fast, I couldn't read it.
It's all right. I saw it.
I'm telling you,
you're driving too fast.
You cannot drive
this trailer at this speed.
It's all right. It's only 35.
It's all right for you,
but I am sitting on the suicide seat.
Oh, very well.
We're coming up onto a town now.
I'll take over now. Pull over there.
I can't. There's a car behind me.
Oh, Nicky, did you see
that darling dress?
- It was blue and it had rickrack edging...
- Keep your hands on the wheel!
Well!
There's a turn out of town. I think it's
right. Would you look at the map, please?
- Red light! Red light!
- I see it.
- Trailer brakes first.
- I have them.
Which way?
We may be coming to it any minute.
I'm trying to find it.
Green light. Green light.
If you'd stop watching the road
and look at the map.
Somebody's gotta watch the road.
Here's where we are, right here.
- You turn left.
- Are you sure?
- Here it is.
- Oh, you're reading the map wrong.
- We're going south.
- What's that to do with it?
When you go south, you have to read
the map upside down. That way.
Of all the stupid, ridiculous nonsense
I've ever heard, this is the stupidest.
It would take a woman
to figure out that...
Beautiful spot, isn't it?
You ever seen such wonderful trees?
And the color. Just look at that color.
Yes, sir.
- You wanna stop and get a rock?
- No.
Okay. I thought you might like to.
It's so nice here.
Hey, what was that camp you were
talking to me about this morning?
You said it was some very special trailer
park you wanted to stay in tonight.
- You passed it an hour ago.
- I did?
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't notice.
Oh, well, there'll be a lot more, I guess.
Good evening.
Could you tell us where we could find
a trailer park around here?
You passed the best one in the country
a couple hundred miles back.
- Nothing else around, huh?
- Not a thing, bud.
You want to go back?
Two hundred miles?
I'll tell you what you can do.
I'm closing up
and you're welcome to park here.
Two dollars for the night and you
can plug into my electric current.
Okay. Thank you.
If you're hungry,
find something in the icebox.
- What are you doing?
- I'm going to sleep in the living room.
- You're not gonna do any such thing.
- Oh, no?
No.
If anybody's gonna sleep there, I will.
Please, let's not be any more childish
about this than is necessary.
I would prefer sleeping here.
So if you don't mind,
will you take your things and get out?
Just as you wish.
Nicky! Nicky!
- Nicky, don't let's ever fight again.
- No, sweetheart.
Nicky, you know...? You know why
I think we had that awful fight?
Why we have arguments?
We drive too long.
We get to a place tired and hungry...
...and we have to wait
for me to get dinner ready.
Well, honey, then all we have to do
is just eat in restaurants.
You know that half the time
there just aren't any restaurants.
- No, I have a better idea.
- What's that, honey?
Tomorrow afternoon...
...about half an hour before
we want to have our dinner...
...I'll go back in the trailer
and get everything ready.
And then you pull into some nice spot...
...and by the time you get
the wheels blocked and get washed up...
...I'll have dinner on the table.
I'm hungry already.
Smells wonderful. What are we having?
- Ragout of beef.
- Ragout of beef!
- Angel food cake with fresh strawberries.
- Oh, boy!
- And caesar salad.
- Oh, I make a wonderful caesar salad.
Let me crumble the Roquefort cheese.
I got a...
Roquefort? Only boors use Roquefort.
You use aged, grated Parmesan.
Now, come on, honey.
Get out of here, will you?
I have a lot to do.
Oh, listen, can I cut the greens for you?
You don't cut the greens.
You tear them.
Now get out of here, will you, please?
I have a lot to do.
- Now, stop that!
- Sorry.
Oh, listen. If you need anything,
just rap at the front window.
Yes, dear. Yes, I will.
Nicky! It isn't going to work!
Nicky!
Nicky!
Nicky!
Nicky!
Nicky!
Well?
- You're on the wrong side of the street.
- That's all right, dear. Come on, now.
Take it easy, now. Be careful.
There you are.
- You're double-parked.
- Yes, I know, honey. Don't worry.
Now, look. I'll be back
at the caf in one hour.
Will you be all right?
Love this stuff.
My mother used to make it.
I still remember
what the kitchen smelled like.
It was so wonderful.
Oh, here he is at last.
The coffee, please.
Wasn't I lucky?
The waitress said she had piccalilli.
Makes it with her own tomatoes
and things, so I got a dozen jars.
- Thank you.
- Surely.
Tacy, I was talking to a fellow
in the parking lot.
He made me an offer on the trailer.
A thousand dollars.
He takes over the payments
and everything.
He'd pay us today, cash.
Where were you planning for us to live?
In a house, like human beings.
Something that is fastened
to the ground...
...that doesn't quiver every time
you take a step.
Something that we don't have to drag...
...every place we go,
like a couple of turtles.
I think you're terrible.
Talking about selling our home.
Oh, for heaven's sakes, Tacy.
Don't tell me you were thinking of
staying there after all that's happened.
Look at you. You can't walk,
you're bruised from head to foot...
That wasn't the trailer's fault.
I had no right to be back there.
The girls told me it's against the law...
...for anyone to ride in the back
of a trailer while it's moving.
- You could have been arrested for that.
- I could have been arrested?
They won't let you put
any living thing back there.
Not a cat, or a dog, or even a canary,
much less your wife.
- I put you back there? I was the one...?
- You certainly did.
Now, you listen to me. You...
You see what I mean?
That's all we've been doing
since we bought that... That thing.
Fighting, fighting, fighting.
I'm not fighting.
I'm just trying to tell you.
Besides, it isn't your trailer, it's mine.
You have no right to sell it.
I am the one who has to haul it.
And let me tell you something.
It's been one long nightmare.
Worrying about will the brakes hold.
Are the signals working?
Are we going to make that hill?
Is it boiling over?
I don't care. I won't sell it.
I don't care what you say.
We'd be fools. We're almost there.
We got 1000 miles to go yet!
Well, I don't care. I won't sell it.
I love it. I love it!
Well...
...at least I know where I stand.
You finished?
- Nicky?
- Yes?
The piccalilli.
Nicky?
Nicky, darling, it's awfully late.
Aren't you ever coming to bed, dear?
Tacy, come here.
I want to show you something.
I've been figuring tomorrow's run.
If you can call it a run.
Now, you see that? That figure?
Eight thousand.
Eight thousand?
That's a good-sized little town.
They'll have a nice trailer park there.
That is not population. It's elevation.
That mountain is 8000 feet.
- That's high, isn't it?
- Yeah. Too high for us.
Oh, I wouldn't worry.
They said it would take mountains.
Look, Tacy, that was before,
when this thing weighed 3 tons.
Heaven knows what it weighs now.
You collected a ton of rocks...
...and another ton of all this stuff
you've been canning.
It's all got to go.
- What do you mean?
- I mean I want you to get rid...
...of all this stuff before we start
that climb tomorrow.
You can get the manager
to help carry them out.
Well, I won't do it. I just won't.
I think that's perfectly ridiculous.
Look, Tacy, I will not haul this trailer
one inch until all this stuff is out.
- Where you going?
- I'm going to the garage.
They're gonna work on the car
all night, check on everything.
I'll be back after a while.
Don't wait up for me.
Mr. Ludlow,
what was the name on that one?
"Dinosaur National Monument."
That's one of my favorites.
I can't let that go.
Would you bring it back again, please?
Yes, ma'am.
- Only eliminated four so far.
- Well...
Bridge of the Gods.
Snake River.
Oh, it's just too much to ask.
Every one of them reminds me
of some wonderful place we've been.
Now, to throw them away
just like they're another bunch of rocks.
I just can't do it. I just can't do it.
Mrs. Collini, you'll find wonderful
rocks in Colorado.
- Why, when we were there...
- I know. But this isn't the same.
You see, we're on our honeymoon
and everything, you know...
I think Nicky's being unreasonable.
I thought a trailer was like a boat.
The more weight it carried,
the better it would ride. Isn't that true?
Well, in a way.
Can't you think of some way
that we can keep them?
- They're pretty heavy, you know.
- I know...
...but can't you think
of something, please?
Well...
...perhaps you could sort of
distribute them along each side.
Oh, I see. You mean distribute them
so that they'll carry the weight evenly.
- Is that it?
- Yeah.
Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
Will you help me?
I don't have much time.
We could put some down here.
You better tell your husband
so he'll know what to expect.
Oh, yeah. I'll tell him.
But later, you know.
Do you think I'll make this all right?
Sure. Remember what I told you
about the brakes.
You can't use
electrical brakes continuously.
If they burn out,
there's nothing to hold you.
Better keep stopping to cool them off,
if the road isn't too steep.
- What if the road is too steep?
- In that case...
...just nose the car into the bank
and jackknife the trailer to stop.
Unless the road is too narrow.
Then you're better off...
Wait a minute.
Suppose the road is too narrow?
Well, you gotta use your own judgment
when you get there. Feel out the terrain.
Look, is there any other road
that I can take instead of this one?
Well, yeah. You could
take the route around here...
...but that's a 500-mile detour, and
the road is in bad shape since the flood.
The bridge was washed out.
You'll be all right.
Just keep your nerves steady.
Thanks.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Did you get rid of all the rocks
and things?
Yes.
- Okay. Let's go, then.
- Okay.
- I'll lock it.
- Thanks.
Tacy?
I guess I was kind of rough on you last
night, but you understand, don't you?
Sure. I understand.
Well, at least we have a nice day for it.
- How do you mean?
- I mean the weather and all.
Oh, oh, yes. Yes, it's a fine day.
As a matter of fact, I was thinking a
while back there that it was a fine day...
...for it.
Did you finish your book?
What book?
The book you were reading.
That book.
Did you finish it?
No.
- Didn't finish it, huh?
- What?
The book.
No.
Halfway through it,
I found out that we'd seen the movie.
So I didn't finish it.
They didn't make a movie out of that,
did they?
Well, they didn't call it that.
They changed the title.
They called it The Something...
The Something...
Was it the Golden-something?
No, no. Nothing like that.
It was the one with the...
What's his name?
You know,
the actor that was married...
...to the beautiful brunette girl
that likes squirrels?
Michael Wilding.
Was it with the fellow
who wore his shoes on his knees?
No. No.
Then there was this big party scene...
...where she threw the drink in his face.
Then this woman...
- Which woman?
- The other woman.
Not the one
who didn't know the brother.
You mean the one
who knew the brother?
Yeah.
Well, this woman came in
who had met the brother...
...but didn't know
where the brother was.
And then the girl told them
about the brother...
...and then there was this big...
- Thank heavens we made it.
- Yeah. Now we got to get down.
I didn't mean to lie to you, Nicky.
But they mean so much to me, Nicky.
Nick! Nicky! Nicky, stop it!
Stop it! Oh, Nicky, please don't, please!
We made it. Nothing happened.
Nicky, please! Please don't! Stop it!
Nicky, I'll never speak to you again
as long as I live!
Nicky! Nicky! Nicky!
I'll never know how
I got the trailer down that mountain.
It was a nightmare.
We didn't say a word to each other.
That night, I got in my car and drove
away, trying to get it out of my system.
When I came back, the trailer was gone.
My wife was gone.
You know, they say
that most marriages that break up...
...break up in the first three years.
- In a trailer, it's the speed-up system.
- I would have thought you were lucky...
...starting off life
in an up-to-the-minute thing like that.
I remember when Mother
and I were married.
We lived in a two-room shack.
No heat, kerosene lamps.
We had to go outside
to wash our hands.
Well, sir, we fought
like two cats in a bag...
...and we'd have split up for sure
that first winter if it hadn't been so cold.
We had to make up,
or we'd have froze to death.
And you know the funny thing?
Any fight we ever had
would've been patched up...
...if either of us could have brought
ourselves to say two words.
Just two words: "I'm sorry."
You've no idea the way it works.
I'll bet if you went to her
and said, "I'm sorry..."
Sorry? Sorry for what?
She's the one.
She should come crawling on her knees.
You realize she could have killed
the two of us?
She and her rocks
and her raspberry jams.
Why, there's Mrs. Tewitt now.
I'll be in the trailer.
Joe, the freezer fits. Isn't it wonderful?
Come on, I'll show you where it goes.
Not just now. Wait a minute.
Would it be asking too much if I took my
clothes, or do they go with the trailer?
I've already sent them express,
care of the project.
I'll send your money there too.
- Money?
- The money for the trailer.
The trailer is yours. I gave it to you.
Well, under the circumstances,
of course, I couldn't accept it.
I'll just keep enough money
to get me home, that's all.
- Now, if you'll excuse me...
- Tacy, I'd like to say something.
I...
I'm...
Yes?
Well...
I better go.
Nicky! Nicky!
Nicky! Nicky! Nicky!
- Nicky, I'm sorry! l...
- No, honey, no. Don't say it.
- Don't. Let me say it, honey.
- I'm sorry.
- I should never have made you get that...
- No, honey. It wasn't...
- Looks like we don't get a trailer.
- Well, not this one.