The New Yoda Chronicles: Clash Of The Skywalkers (2014) Movie Script
Oh, sorry, sorry. My fault.
Figure it out, people.
It's not rocket science.
Argh! Coming through.
- After you.
- No, I insist.
Rebel base to Luke Skywalker.
This is Luke.
Be careful out there, Luke.
The Empire's hunting for you.
I'm patrolling the Arkanis sector
and I see no sign of imperial activity.
Repeat: No sign of imp...
Whoa!
How's this for a sign?
Rebel base, I've
been spotted by Darth Vader.
I'm under attack.
At the risk of jinxing myself,
I have you now.
I got him. I really got him.
Yay for me!
Woo-hoo! Yeah!
Nice job, Artoo.
And Luke?
You almost had me fooled.
Ha-ha, thanks.
- And we're clear.
- Great performance.
Oh. So a fake it was.
Thought Luke was
a goner for sure, I did.
Tell me about it. I'm a ghost,
And I still sweated through my robe.
Operation fool Vader into thinking
he destroyed Luke was a success!
With Vader off our
trail, now we'll have time
to prepare our evacuation
to the new base.
I still wish it was me out there.
No you don't!
I could've beaten Vader.
I should be fighting.
I'm a Jedi, like the
guys in the holocron.
Even if you fought Vader and won,
you'd still have the
whole Empire after you.
We need to lay low until
we reach the new base.
- Try to be patient.
- Okay.
- And don't be so mopey.
- I'm not mopey.
Oh, man...
We have to get him a hobby.
Leia to new base advance team.
Yes, hello, your highness.
Have you arrived at the location?
Yes, we are indeed within
sight of the base, but...
It hasn't been occupied for many years.
What condition is it in?
Well, to be diplomatic,
the whole area leaves Captain Solo
rather less than overwhelmed.
Whoa!
I hate this place!
You sent us to the coldest
ice slab in the universe.
Exactly. The Empire will
never look for us there.
Yeah, well, the only one of us who isn't
freezing his rebel butt off is Chewie.
He's wearing a fur coat.
Chewbacca, you seem
to be malfunctioning.
Well, toughen up. Let us
know when the base is ready.
- We can't do anything until then.
- But it's cold as...
I just hope the Empire
fell for our trick
and they really think Luke is gone.
d I got Luke Skywalker d
d the Emperor's gonna love me d
d I'll get another medal d
d to go with my first one d
- Do you want to tell him?
- No way. You tell him.
- Oof!
- # hey, it's Admiral Ozzel #
d how come you're not dancing d
Lord Vader, we found the wreckage
- of the ship you shot down.
- And?
There's no evidence Luke Skywalker
was ever inside. It was a decoy.
I see.
Well, that's the way it goes sometimes.
Just continue searching for him.
No problem. Excuse me.
Huh. He took that rather well.
Noooo!
Why?!
Nobody help me.
Argh! Oh!
Okay, help me.
This is it.
It'll be nice and warm inside.
Yes, I'll make you some soup.
- Yes, I'll pick the celery pieces out.
- Such a fussy eater.
It's a bit dark.
What's that horrible smell?
I didn't say it was you, Chewie.
Why do you have to be
so touchy all the time?
I have found the light switch. Ha!
Oh, man, now we have
to go outside again.
Hey!
Hey, it's my old buddy.
We're gonna really stick
it to the Empire, eh?
You know it.
It'll be like old times.
They'll never stop us.
You fools! Don't say things
like that before a battle.
You'll doom yourselves.
Sorry. It's just, we can't
wait to get into the action.
And when we do, we'll show them.
I feel like I could take
on the whole Empire myself.
Stop it!
All this waiting around
is driving me nuts, Artoo.
I need action.
These great Jedi didn't
just sit around waiting.
I wish I could be like them.
And I wish I didn't
have to squint like this.
Ah, what's the use?
Hoping we're not too
late I am, Obi-Wan.
This is amazing. That's Ben!
But who's that little green boy?
If we play our cards right,
we can slip past Count Dooku's
battle droids and
rescue Governor Bibble.
Dooku? Bibble?
They had some crazy
names back in the day.
This way!
Hm. I detect the presence of Jedi.
- Find and destroy them.
- Roger, roger.
Uh-oh, the bad guys
are about to find them.
Glad I'm not them.
Vader!
Let me get this straight.
You were fooled by an R2 unit?
Not just any R2 unit.
It was R2-D2.
"The R2-D2."
I'm starting to think
I should have turned him
to the dark side.
You really know how to hurt a guy.
My lord!
Our probe droids have detected
a single holocron being activated
on the planet Mustafar.
That's got to be Skywalker.
Admiral, take the fleet there at once.
- Yes, my lord.
- What?
- Why him?
- You had your shot.
Seven shots, actually,
and you blew them!
Oh, come on.
Give me one more chance.
I need this.
Pretty please?
Fine. You do it.
Yippee!
Oh, I hate it when he says that.
I can't trust him.
Prepare my shuttle.
- Yes, my lord.
- I'll handle this personally.
Mustafar, now!
A grave error, Luke has made.
Unforeseen, this development was.
Uh, you don't foresee a lot, do you?
Foresee much, I do.
Just not the big things.
- Are we there yet?
- No.
- Are we there yet?
- No.
- Are we there yet?
- No!
- Are we there yet?
- Yes.
- Really?
- No.
Oh, man.
How are they gonna get out of this?
Bide our time, we must.
Patience, our only tactic is.
- Or, we could do this!
- Anakin, no!
Anakin?
That's my father!
Looking for a fight, metal heads?
- Get him, my battle droids!
- Roger, roger.
Now's your chance to
rescue the governor!
Great work, Anakin!
What a brilliant move.
That's my pops.
- Luke!
- Leia. You've gotta see this.
It's the greatest Jedi of yesteryear.
Well, I need the greatest
Jedi of today-year,
because the imperial fleet
is heading this way to attack us.
How did Vader know we were here?
What could have led them to us?
Oh, man...
Well, that's it. We're finished.
It's Alderaan all over again.
What a minute.
It's me Vader wants.
And I want him.
Leia, prepare to evacuate to Hoth.
Artoo, come with me.
- Where are you going?
- To attack the fleet.
Luke, stop.
You'll get us all killed.
Don't worry. I got
the idea from the holocron.
That doesn't make me feel any better.
Prepare your ships. We're leaving now.
Let's just hope Han and his team
get that landing pad lit.
- Captain Solo?
- Yes?
Might I have permission
to communicate with
our apparently ravenous captive?
Go ahead. I'm just
hanging around anyway.
Thank you. Ahem.
- What are you saying?
- I am making a series
of rather rude jokes about his mother.
Ha-ha. That's brave.
He'll eat you first now.
- I'm saying you taught them to me.
- You what?!
A calculated risk!
A risk that is about to pay off.
Open fire!
Great job, goldie.
Let's go!
Why do you even need that thing?
You never use it.
Luke, turn back.
You've gone crazy.
Crazy like a space fox.
When the fleet chases me,
you guys will be free
to evacuate to Hoth.
- I've planned it all out...
- What?
Hey, watch where you're
going, Sunday flyer.
Ah! It's you!
- Hi there.
- Why you little...
- Is this in the plan?
- It is now.
After him!
Vader, it's me.
I found Luke Skywalker.
He just crashed his
ship into my shuttle.
Congratulations.
I'm sure you did see him.
He's delusional.
Great gunray's ghost!
That is Luke Skywalker!
Like I said, get him!
Go, go, go!
Everyone, go!
That's a lot of ships.
Tell Leia to evacuate now.
Then you and your team
meet me at the rendezvous point.
Leia, I need some
fighters to come with me,
but the rest can evacuate now.
The way to Hoth is clear.
The first transport is away.
Come on, you can
do better than that!
My lord, you can bear witness
as I personally destroy the rebellion.
Oh, no, no. I've had
enough of your bungling.
I'm in charge now.
After Skywalker!
Tie fighter squadron, away!
Uh, we usually launch those ships
after the pilots get in them.
Oopsie.
Rebels, set course for Hoth.
I just hope the landing beacons
have been lit for us when we get there.
I think we lost him.
It would be beyond my
programming to contradict, but...
Well, genius, now what do we do?
You're the captain.
I'm just making this up as I go.
Right in my servos.
I told you to go on that diet.
Quickly now, saddle up!
Way to go, professor!
I will destroy you.
You will try.
All part of the plan.
We really need a railing in here!
That's what I keep saying.
He tricked us.
That's the same stunt I did on Naboo.
He pulled an Anakin on me.
I'll get that copycat.
- Are you all right?
- Of course.
I'm feeling fine, and ready to command.
Good, because a bunch of
rebel ships are attacking.
- Guess that this is!
- It's a trap!
It's a tra...
Oh, you already said it.
- Do something evil!
- My lord, might I suggest we run?
That sounds good too.
Han, we're here.
Where's the landing area?
- Repeat, where is the landing area?
- We're almost there.
We'll switch on the
Falcon's landing lights.
- I can't find the keys.
- Were they in your left pocket, sir?
- Yes...
- Then they fell out when the wampa
hung us upside-down in the cave.
And you didn't tell me?
What's wrong with you?
Wrong with me?
Might I point out that
I saved your lives?
Yeah, and now you're
gonna get us killed.
What?!
That's what's in your
bandolier? Candles?
- I know you're a sensitive guy.
- Oh, my. Incoming.
No, homecoming!
Told you we'd make it.
Yeah. Good think we
didn't jinx anything by...
I knew you'd come through for us.
All thanks to Chewie.
What about me?
Aw, does Threepio want
a thank you kiss?
No, that is really not necessary.
All I wanted was a little appreciation.
I insist.
Let me give you a widdle kiss
so your widdle feelings don't get hurt.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
My lips are stuck!
I told you not to do it.
Shoo. Shoo!
Get away! Get away!
Irritating rebels.
It's no fun when you're
the one being fired on.
Where did he go?
Oh, no, you don't.
So after all
this holocron business,
it comes down to just the two of us.
I'd be disappointed if it hadn't.
Great. Just great.
No! Artoo!
Wow. That felt good.
- Bring it on, boy.
- Oh, it's brought!
Not look at this, can I.
Yes, wake me when it's over.
You've learned much from
the holocron, young one,
but you'll remember
this lesson the most.
Because it's your last!
This is your last chance
to surrender, Vader.
Me? Surrender?
I'd laugh if it didn't sound weird
and cause me horrible pain.
I've got something more powerful
than you could ever have.
What could you possibly have
that's more fearsome than me?
You'll see.
Toss another rock at me.
Uh, you're supposed to be scared now.
Why do you think I shot you down
on this asteroid in the first place?
Because you knew the monster lived here?
Uh, yeah.
Is my Snookums hungry?
Whoa!
Wow, it's really gross in here.
You win this one, but
the Jedi will return!
d We just won the battle d
d and if feels so good d
d get your hands off my shoulders d
- # I don't know you that well #
- Sorry.
Figure it out, people.
It's not rocket science.
Argh! Coming through.
- After you.
- No, I insist.
Rebel base to Luke Skywalker.
This is Luke.
Be careful out there, Luke.
The Empire's hunting for you.
I'm patrolling the Arkanis sector
and I see no sign of imperial activity.
Repeat: No sign of imp...
Whoa!
How's this for a sign?
Rebel base, I've
been spotted by Darth Vader.
I'm under attack.
At the risk of jinxing myself,
I have you now.
I got him. I really got him.
Yay for me!
Woo-hoo! Yeah!
Nice job, Artoo.
And Luke?
You almost had me fooled.
Ha-ha, thanks.
- And we're clear.
- Great performance.
Oh. So a fake it was.
Thought Luke was
a goner for sure, I did.
Tell me about it. I'm a ghost,
And I still sweated through my robe.
Operation fool Vader into thinking
he destroyed Luke was a success!
With Vader off our
trail, now we'll have time
to prepare our evacuation
to the new base.
I still wish it was me out there.
No you don't!
I could've beaten Vader.
I should be fighting.
I'm a Jedi, like the
guys in the holocron.
Even if you fought Vader and won,
you'd still have the
whole Empire after you.
We need to lay low until
we reach the new base.
- Try to be patient.
- Okay.
- And don't be so mopey.
- I'm not mopey.
Oh, man...
We have to get him a hobby.
Leia to new base advance team.
Yes, hello, your highness.
Have you arrived at the location?
Yes, we are indeed within
sight of the base, but...
It hasn't been occupied for many years.
What condition is it in?
Well, to be diplomatic,
the whole area leaves Captain Solo
rather less than overwhelmed.
Whoa!
I hate this place!
You sent us to the coldest
ice slab in the universe.
Exactly. The Empire will
never look for us there.
Yeah, well, the only one of us who isn't
freezing his rebel butt off is Chewie.
He's wearing a fur coat.
Chewbacca, you seem
to be malfunctioning.
Well, toughen up. Let us
know when the base is ready.
- We can't do anything until then.
- But it's cold as...
I just hope the Empire
fell for our trick
and they really think Luke is gone.
d I got Luke Skywalker d
d the Emperor's gonna love me d
d I'll get another medal d
d to go with my first one d
- Do you want to tell him?
- No way. You tell him.
- Oof!
- # hey, it's Admiral Ozzel #
d how come you're not dancing d
Lord Vader, we found the wreckage
- of the ship you shot down.
- And?
There's no evidence Luke Skywalker
was ever inside. It was a decoy.
I see.
Well, that's the way it goes sometimes.
Just continue searching for him.
No problem. Excuse me.
Huh. He took that rather well.
Noooo!
Why?!
Nobody help me.
Argh! Oh!
Okay, help me.
This is it.
It'll be nice and warm inside.
Yes, I'll make you some soup.
- Yes, I'll pick the celery pieces out.
- Such a fussy eater.
It's a bit dark.
What's that horrible smell?
I didn't say it was you, Chewie.
Why do you have to be
so touchy all the time?
I have found the light switch. Ha!
Oh, man, now we have
to go outside again.
Hey!
Hey, it's my old buddy.
We're gonna really stick
it to the Empire, eh?
You know it.
It'll be like old times.
They'll never stop us.
You fools! Don't say things
like that before a battle.
You'll doom yourselves.
Sorry. It's just, we can't
wait to get into the action.
And when we do, we'll show them.
I feel like I could take
on the whole Empire myself.
Stop it!
All this waiting around
is driving me nuts, Artoo.
I need action.
These great Jedi didn't
just sit around waiting.
I wish I could be like them.
And I wish I didn't
have to squint like this.
Ah, what's the use?
Hoping we're not too
late I am, Obi-Wan.
This is amazing. That's Ben!
But who's that little green boy?
If we play our cards right,
we can slip past Count Dooku's
battle droids and
rescue Governor Bibble.
Dooku? Bibble?
They had some crazy
names back in the day.
This way!
Hm. I detect the presence of Jedi.
- Find and destroy them.
- Roger, roger.
Uh-oh, the bad guys
are about to find them.
Glad I'm not them.
Vader!
Let me get this straight.
You were fooled by an R2 unit?
Not just any R2 unit.
It was R2-D2.
"The R2-D2."
I'm starting to think
I should have turned him
to the dark side.
You really know how to hurt a guy.
My lord!
Our probe droids have detected
a single holocron being activated
on the planet Mustafar.
That's got to be Skywalker.
Admiral, take the fleet there at once.
- Yes, my lord.
- What?
- Why him?
- You had your shot.
Seven shots, actually,
and you blew them!
Oh, come on.
Give me one more chance.
I need this.
Pretty please?
Fine. You do it.
Yippee!
Oh, I hate it when he says that.
I can't trust him.
Prepare my shuttle.
- Yes, my lord.
- I'll handle this personally.
Mustafar, now!
A grave error, Luke has made.
Unforeseen, this development was.
Uh, you don't foresee a lot, do you?
Foresee much, I do.
Just not the big things.
- Are we there yet?
- No.
- Are we there yet?
- No.
- Are we there yet?
- No!
- Are we there yet?
- Yes.
- Really?
- No.
Oh, man.
How are they gonna get out of this?
Bide our time, we must.
Patience, our only tactic is.
- Or, we could do this!
- Anakin, no!
Anakin?
That's my father!
Looking for a fight, metal heads?
- Get him, my battle droids!
- Roger, roger.
Now's your chance to
rescue the governor!
Great work, Anakin!
What a brilliant move.
That's my pops.
- Luke!
- Leia. You've gotta see this.
It's the greatest Jedi of yesteryear.
Well, I need the greatest
Jedi of today-year,
because the imperial fleet
is heading this way to attack us.
How did Vader know we were here?
What could have led them to us?
Oh, man...
Well, that's it. We're finished.
It's Alderaan all over again.
What a minute.
It's me Vader wants.
And I want him.
Leia, prepare to evacuate to Hoth.
Artoo, come with me.
- Where are you going?
- To attack the fleet.
Luke, stop.
You'll get us all killed.
Don't worry. I got
the idea from the holocron.
That doesn't make me feel any better.
Prepare your ships. We're leaving now.
Let's just hope Han and his team
get that landing pad lit.
- Captain Solo?
- Yes?
Might I have permission
to communicate with
our apparently ravenous captive?
Go ahead. I'm just
hanging around anyway.
Thank you. Ahem.
- What are you saying?
- I am making a series
of rather rude jokes about his mother.
Ha-ha. That's brave.
He'll eat you first now.
- I'm saying you taught them to me.
- You what?!
A calculated risk!
A risk that is about to pay off.
Open fire!
Great job, goldie.
Let's go!
Why do you even need that thing?
You never use it.
Luke, turn back.
You've gone crazy.
Crazy like a space fox.
When the fleet chases me,
you guys will be free
to evacuate to Hoth.
- I've planned it all out...
- What?
Hey, watch where you're
going, Sunday flyer.
Ah! It's you!
- Hi there.
- Why you little...
- Is this in the plan?
- It is now.
After him!
Vader, it's me.
I found Luke Skywalker.
He just crashed his
ship into my shuttle.
Congratulations.
I'm sure you did see him.
He's delusional.
Great gunray's ghost!
That is Luke Skywalker!
Like I said, get him!
Go, go, go!
Everyone, go!
That's a lot of ships.
Tell Leia to evacuate now.
Then you and your team
meet me at the rendezvous point.
Leia, I need some
fighters to come with me,
but the rest can evacuate now.
The way to Hoth is clear.
The first transport is away.
Come on, you can
do better than that!
My lord, you can bear witness
as I personally destroy the rebellion.
Oh, no, no. I've had
enough of your bungling.
I'm in charge now.
After Skywalker!
Tie fighter squadron, away!
Uh, we usually launch those ships
after the pilots get in them.
Oopsie.
Rebels, set course for Hoth.
I just hope the landing beacons
have been lit for us when we get there.
I think we lost him.
It would be beyond my
programming to contradict, but...
Well, genius, now what do we do?
You're the captain.
I'm just making this up as I go.
Right in my servos.
I told you to go on that diet.
Quickly now, saddle up!
Way to go, professor!
I will destroy you.
You will try.
All part of the plan.
We really need a railing in here!
That's what I keep saying.
He tricked us.
That's the same stunt I did on Naboo.
He pulled an Anakin on me.
I'll get that copycat.
- Are you all right?
- Of course.
I'm feeling fine, and ready to command.
Good, because a bunch of
rebel ships are attacking.
- Guess that this is!
- It's a trap!
It's a tra...
Oh, you already said it.
- Do something evil!
- My lord, might I suggest we run?
That sounds good too.
Han, we're here.
Where's the landing area?
- Repeat, where is the landing area?
- We're almost there.
We'll switch on the
Falcon's landing lights.
- I can't find the keys.
- Were they in your left pocket, sir?
- Yes...
- Then they fell out when the wampa
hung us upside-down in the cave.
And you didn't tell me?
What's wrong with you?
Wrong with me?
Might I point out that
I saved your lives?
Yeah, and now you're
gonna get us killed.
What?!
That's what's in your
bandolier? Candles?
- I know you're a sensitive guy.
- Oh, my. Incoming.
No, homecoming!
Told you we'd make it.
Yeah. Good think we
didn't jinx anything by...
I knew you'd come through for us.
All thanks to Chewie.
What about me?
Aw, does Threepio want
a thank you kiss?
No, that is really not necessary.
All I wanted was a little appreciation.
I insist.
Let me give you a widdle kiss
so your widdle feelings don't get hurt.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
My lips are stuck!
I told you not to do it.
Shoo. Shoo!
Get away! Get away!
Irritating rebels.
It's no fun when you're
the one being fired on.
Where did he go?
Oh, no, you don't.
So after all
this holocron business,
it comes down to just the two of us.
I'd be disappointed if it hadn't.
Great. Just great.
No! Artoo!
Wow. That felt good.
- Bring it on, boy.
- Oh, it's brought!
Not look at this, can I.
Yes, wake me when it's over.
You've learned much from
the holocron, young one,
but you'll remember
this lesson the most.
Because it's your last!
This is your last chance
to surrender, Vader.
Me? Surrender?
I'd laugh if it didn't sound weird
and cause me horrible pain.
I've got something more powerful
than you could ever have.
What could you possibly have
that's more fearsome than me?
You'll see.
Toss another rock at me.
Uh, you're supposed to be scared now.
Why do you think I shot you down
on this asteroid in the first place?
Because you knew the monster lived here?
Uh, yeah.
Is my Snookums hungry?
Whoa!
Wow, it's really gross in here.
You win this one, but
the Jedi will return!
d We just won the battle d
d and if feels so good d
d get your hands off my shoulders d
- # I don't know you that well #
- Sorry.